I can't judge you for the Lord. Dallas? Yeah. Get it. I need you to help me clear out Bam's old room. He left all his stuff here when he transubstantiated out of our reality. Hold on one second. Bro, he's he's got the secret closet. There's so much nylon. Secret closet. No. Wait. Secret closet. Why? Pam's bedroom. Why are there so many leg holes? Oh, right. He was is that a logo for an octopus, man? Captain Octopus. Captain Octo, I think, is what it was saying.
Oh, right. Captain Octo. Maybe maybe, maybe if he went back to seminary and became, like, a doctor, he could be he could be doctor octopus. Oh, that would be funny. What what are what are these? What? Did he pull movies out of the dumpster? What is this? Here's a private journal entry right here. Should we be reading his private journal? He's not here. Technically, he doesn't exist anymore. So Well, that's reality. Yep. Okay. So here we go. Dear diary,
I was right. I truly do enjoy the smell of pansies and frolicking and if no. That we don't wanna read that. Here we go. I have made a great discovery in the dumpster. There seems to be an entire section of Christian movies about people who are becoming more than what they are to rise above and become heroes. And, oh, this is all, like, uber bam schlock. Was Branson trying to become a superhero? Prepare yourself to discover a world of terrible movies.
High above the planet Geekery, a group of intrepid explorers hover over the dangerous planet in their fabulous super orbital spacecraft. Their mission, to conduct a complete analysis of movies known throughout the universe as terrible. So grab your space popcorn, grab your freeze dried ice cream, and join us for today's mission of discovery and wonder. Are these movies better than the galaxy thinks? Or do they really belong on the bottom shelf? What is happening?
All you glorious Geek Devotions family out there. It's your boy, John, and I'm here with Captain Dallas. We are on this mysterious space station above the planet Geekery, watching these terrible movies so you don't have to, or if at the very least, you're not alone in doing so. You know, I think I just ran through all of that without even hitting a bumper, and then once I hit that last wall, it's just like, I can't think. Dallas, what are we watching this week?
Well, we're sifting through Branson's, private collection of movies here. For those of you guys who don't know Branson, who used to be part of the show until we got separated from this reality into another one, he was an octopus. Apparently, he was playing a career as a superhero. And so I you know, I Doc Ock. Because apparently, auto auto Octavius became Spider Man in some I'm just finding this out. And do you know what I found out? Do you know where I found out? Where did you find
out? I found out on the Geek Devotions Discord Oh. Under the friendly neighborhood spider fan podcast section of the Discord. Bam, bam, bam. That's how I learned, and I learned that this week. Yes. So check out the Discord, guys. You'll learn all kinds of crazy things. That being said, we're gonna look at the couple of these movies that Branson left behind here in his room when he got ripped out of reality. The first one looks like it's called Beyond the Mask.
Beyond the Mask. Yeah. Yeah. I've seen that. Really? I have. Wow. Is that the one with the, like, the green mask? It's like the like, it was Jim Carrey's baby? No. That was that was the mask. Oh. Oh. Okay. Was it the one about, the, the serial killer? And he was he was running around wild and No. That was that was behind the mask. Oh, man. I don't know what this one is. No. This is beyond the mask. Oh, okay. So we're apparently, there's a lot of movies that have perspective on
the mask. The mask. So let's dive. I wonder if we have to watch all these movies to make this make sense. I don't know. Like, where is this and where is this in the in the timeline? Because I'm uncertain. Oh my gosh. I'm not sure. Let me pull up this thing. Intro of the movie says, coming from the same company that brought you War Room. Oh, written by Paul McCusker, writ writer of the podcast series, The Victories of Joan the Arc, and Stephen Kendrick, not related to the guy putting out, diss
tracks at John's in love with. No. Writer of Fireproof. I remember that one. Beyond the mask is the assassin's creed movie that you wish you had gotten. Oh, interesting. Star starring a borderland scavenger, Andrew Cheney, and the mightiest dwarf of them all, Gimli. Peter Dinklage, please don't come for us. And the woman who's been on every single Chicago PD fire and everything else TV show ever, Kara Kilmer. So that's that's that's my intro to the movie that we have here
in the database, John. It looked like there was a second paragraph there. I just didn't know if you were going to read that or not. So, okay. Well, with that, why don't you go ahead, and read that back of the box. Alright. Back of the box says, the leading mercenary of the British East India Company, Will Randalls, has just been double crossed and now is on the run-in the American colonies. I feel like we need, like, colonial music playing.
Working to redeem his name and win back the affections of the woman with whom he's never been fully truthful, Will now hides behind a new mask in hopes of thwarting his former employer. Interesting. Interesting. So you've seen this? I have seen this. So I'm assuming you have some fantastic trivia for us based on it. Trivia. Mhmm. Actors Andrew Chaney and Kara Kilmer actually got married in real life on May 14, 2016. That's cool. So the romance there is real.
Nice. The vote to declare independence was actually taken on July 2nd, 17/76. The text of the declaration of independence was approved on July 4th, 17/76. The only person to sign the document on July 4th, 17/76 was John Hancock as president of congress, and it was read publicly on July 8th 17 1776 by city sheriff John Nixon. Alright. Cool beans. Alright. So this is a period piece that is almost factual.
It is. Yeah. It's, sorry. I thanks for covering for me, Dallas, while I was trying to destroy my lungs. Yeah. It is it is a period piece that takes place during colonial times. Final piece of trivia I have for this here is rubber rubber tongue twister. Rubber covered copper cables, were not in use before 18 eighties. Particularly odd that they figure in the bombing plot of 1776. No. There's a bombing plot in this. You know, are we watching V for Vendetta?
Maybe. I I I will say I will say that there is, there is definitely some references to Guy Fawkes in this movie. Cool. Cool. Alright. Well, let's check out the community outreach through the magic of podcasting. We have a few comments based on this movie. So, from Dale, made me feel at times like I was watching a stunt show at 6 flags or a a play at BPCC Local Community College rather than a movie. That doesn't sound good. So savage. Oh, Branson chimed in from the alternate universe.
Okay. Great concept. Lots of great actors, but the Christian part feels very forced. Enjoyable to see once, but I would I but not when I would revisit unless I needed to. Oh. Wait. What what's what what do you mean needed to? Like, when do you have when do you need to revisit a movie? When you do a podcast about movies that you've watched before. Bro. Y'all are breaking my heart. Alright. Alright. Alright. Last one is from Drew. First thought when I saw, the poster was, is that AI art? No.
Can't be. The hands are too good. Oh. My favorite my favorite part of that is I having worked with AI art before that is the worst, is the hands. Mhmm. Hands are terrible to begin with the draw. Alright. Well, let's get into expectations. I'm gonna tell you this right now, John. Hearing our community outreach, I don't have high hopes for this film,
but the art looks cool. And, and the the vocabulary from our intro of the movie about the Assassin's Creed movie that you wish you had gotten, I'm kinda looking forward to that. So, my expectations are go are we'll find out. We'll find out. Alright. As far as my expectations, I've seen this movie before, so I I'm going into it, like, there were this this this movie came out at a weird period of time in my life Mhmm.
Where my anxiety was at an all time high, and I wasn't I wasn't being treated for it. Mhmm. And so one thing that people who deal with extreme anxiety will tell you is that they have a tendency to jump to conclusions about a lot of stupid things. And one thing that I did at the time was, like, I need to get I need to stop focusing so much on worldly entertainment. I need to focus in on Christian entertainment. So that was when I discovered this movie. So, cool.
Yeah. I watched it, and I'm like, you know, this isn't as trash as all the other Christian movies are. So, and and that's kind of the impact that's left for me. So it's a comparative statement, but I remember enjoying it quite a bit. I'm expecting it, albeit I medicated now, so anxiety can cover many a mistake. I understand. I understand. Alright. Cool beans. Alright. Well, let's get into that viewing chamber, and hopefully, we got something good in this pot. Dear listeners,
this is your opportunity to escape. Our crew has just entered into the media projection chamber. What horrors and madness that they consume are unknown. Their mental state upon their return is unknown. You have been warned. I mean, seriously, if they would have if they would have put that in the movie theater and with the with the poster outside for the Assassin's Creed movie, Tell me, like, you would think that was the Assassin's Creed movie. Right?
Yeah. Yeah. The like, Assassin's Creed 3. Right? It it's totally like the Connor arc. Yeah. Like, Hollywood. Welcome back, everybody. We just got done watching the movie, and it's some people might say, hey, that's a bit of a spoiler, but oh, nay nay, dear listener. I'm I must tell you that it's obvious from the art that this movie wanted to be assassin's creed, and boy, did they shoot for it in this movie. Ain't that the truth?
So let's get into the non spoiler non spoiler e section of the podcast. Do you have any thoughts on this, Captain Mora? Yeah. Well, we've already made the the the the the thought process. This was, like, a Assassin's 3 or Assassin's Creed clone. Mhmm. Which, by the way, it came out the year before Assassin's Creed the movie. Oh, for real. So this was, like, original IP.
Yeah. Wow. And so now, they probably were looking at the show I mean, the the games, and, Assassin's Creed had a bigger budget, so it was probably in production longer than this one. But, but yeah. Now, visually, it wasn't terrible for Christian films. And, again, we're gonna put this out there. John and I are both Christians. We're both believers in Jesus Christ, and we're gonna do our best not to just slam Christian, media. But there
is a stigma about it. And, visually, production wise, it's not it it's not the low bar that is set there for it's a bit above it. Although, it did feel like, at times, like I was watching 1 big, Highlander flashback scene. I could see that. Just the way that they they especially when they were doing, like, the fast movement and then there was the fog at times Mhmm. And, and there was, like, the period pieces, and you're like, something just doesn't seem right at the same time.
So, it kinda made me nostalgic to go back and watch the Highlander TV series. Nice. Yeah. I mean, I could see that. I think for me, every time I watch this movie, I I get caught up in just the awe of it being a Christian film that has that much attention and attention to the to its production. Mhmm. Because whereas, like, I wouldn't necessarily put this on par with, like, the Avengers or something like that. No. If I put it above Dungeons and Dragons. The new one or the old one? The
old one. Okay. Yeah. Yeah, I would, too. I mean, to be fair, like, if this would have came out in the early to mid 2000, I would have been happy with this. Like, this would have been a blockbuster in the movie theater to watch. So the visuals really aren't that terrible. I mean, it's definitely better than the visuals that were in the second mummy movie, to be sure. Yeah. I'll give you that. And that was, like, what, 2002? Yeah. Yeah. Dwayne, the the Scorpion King. And
that looked like a video game character. Like, for real? For real. You're not wrong about that. Whereas the CG in this, like, only because I was looking for it, I could see where the CG was. Right. There were a few green screen moments. I was like, oh. And a lot of that was just lighting differentials. And to be to be fair, like, the first time I watched this movie, I watched it on my old TV, which was 10:80.
Right. And then I watched it this time on my current TV, which is a 4 k. This movie was not made to be seen in 4 k because the first the first time I watched it, I didn't notice the lighting differentials when they were on the green screen, so it blended a lot better. Yeah. Exactly. But because of the higher resolution, I was able to be I was able to see the, basically, the seams of where the effects ended and the actual capture began.
Right. Right. The storytelling, the pacing of it was awkward at times. There were times where it was moving so fast. Like, it felt like it was doing major time jumps, and then all of a sudden, it was just very slow at times. Wait. Wait. Wait. Wait. Captain Gundam, are you seriously gonna pass that judgment? I mean, for real. I'm not I'm not saying I'm not saying it's a bad thing. I'm just pointing out that there was a storytelling,
and that's how it was. It was like felt like it was, like, massive time jumps and then boom. Now you're for those who are wondering what John specifically is referenced to, he's talking about our our journey through, f 91, which, to be fair, there's a difference between the way f 91 did because it was originally a script for a series versus a movie, and they crammed it into it. No, sir. I'm just talking about Gundam
series in general. They all have that problem where they'll go they have whiplash tempo changes throughout them just like, and we're jumping 3 months, and here's a spot, and then we're gonna pad this out, and then we're gonna hit a massive action section, and then we're gonna jump another year. I'll say this, though. It held my attention better than another movie that came out in 2015, which was Chappie. Chappie was boring as all get out. Bro, I remember that. That was the that was, like, the
It was, like, an AI robot. Robot. Yeah. It was, it was, police robots and everything like that. That movie bored the mess out of me. And so, but similar time frame. So I'm I'm pointing out the fact that it the because, again, Chappy had some weird pacing issues also even though I think it was all within, like, a certain time period. Mhmm. This one, though, it was, like, things felt like they moved fast, but at the same time, they weren't happening fast, and it was just really awkward at points.
So just that's just the way the storytelling was coming out. Yeah. I can dig that, but I'll say this Mhmm. And you're gonna find this amusing. Think about the storytelling in Assassin's Creed games. Mhmm. Yeah. Right? Were they just aiming to mimic Assassin's Creed? What's happening here? Seriously. Like, was, like were the company the guys who wrote this, there's, like, hey. Y'all remember the Assassin's Creed game we played in college? Let's do that. But at Jesus.
Oh, my gosh. So what you're saying is that you want us to go around and kill the bad guys and requiem ex Pache, stuff like that, and then Jesus, and then that's it. I mean, and and to be fair, you know, getting out of that fake boardroom bit I was trying to do when Dallas was looking at me like you didn't understand what was going on. No. I got you. I'm I'm looking up. I'm trying to figure out, the release date of Assassin's Creed games. Oh, that would that goes back to the
PS 3, my man. It does. So 2012 Yeah. Is Assassin's Creed 3. Uh-huh. And this was, 2015. Yeah. 2015. So, quite possibly, the guys watched played Assassin's Creed 3, loved the idea of it, it stuck in there, and then they created the, this movie with this in the background of their head. Because Black Flag was 2013, Rogue and Unity was 2014, Syndicate, which is the best of the games, came out in 2015, and then just all goes downhill from there.
Mhmm. Yeah. Just looking at it, like, I I really think these guys played a c 3, and it was just in the background while they were script writing. You know, it it wouldn't surprise me, and I'm fine with it. No. No. To be perfectly honest with you, it's like because I remember this came out about the same time that the Assassin's Creed movie came out. Mhmm. And when I when I I actually, like we said, this came out 1 year before the the AC movie came out. Mhmm. But I I didn't see this until after
the AC movie came out. And the thing about it is that I watched it, and I didn't watch all of the Assassin's Creed movie, but I already knew that this was just the more entertaining movie between the 2 because there was less exposition and more actual action, which is weird to say about a Christian movie. You know what I mean? Yeah. That was one thing I I I did notice is, like again, we're we're comparing this to other Christian movies, instead of just a film and period.
But it is a it it felt less preachy than other Christian films that we've watched, that I've watched over the years. And I'm gonna go with Branson. It the the moment where it was like, this is the presentation of the gospel, it did feel so kind of hamstring in there, which is a problem within most Christian cinema. And, we can get to a conversation about Christian cinema later if you want to about some of the issues, that they run into. But it it felt
more actiony. It did have that and, again, this is a legitimate issue. Christian cinema markets itself towards, stay at home moms. That is the that's legitimately like, it's a it's a known thing that that's how they build their stories. It still had a bit of that in there, but a lot more action to cover up for for for dudes. Yeah. Yeah. I could see that. And I I remember at the time when I bought the movie, because I bought it sight unseen because, you know, paranoid anxiety.
One of the things that I read from the production people or the company that made this movie was that that, yeah, they were they were specifically trying to make movies that people wanted to watch rather than something that was designed for the specific Christian cinema crowd. Which I really appreciate that that they were just trying to do
art. Mhmm. And I I will agree with you that the part where they put the message in felt like it was shoehorned in, typically in the in the way where you'd have a shoehorned romance crew card in, which I I felt was kind of sad because I felt like the whole message that they were trying to convey was throughout the entire movie fairly well. Yeah. In in a very, Lewis, what's his face, Sort of. No. The guy who wrote art in the bible,
Louis Schafer. Oh, yeah. A very Louis Schafer sort of way where it wasn't ham fisted, and the the theme felt natural. But to me, I would almost be willing to bet that there was probably some, church investor or some spiritually based investor, that was like, there isn't as strong enough of a message of, of a call to repentance, so to speak. That because it showed the repentance, but it
didn't have a call to repentance. Mhmm. And as a result, I could see, somebody who is less focused on making some less less aligned with the mission of the production company of making Christian movies people wanna watch Mhmm. To making movies that Christians will feel like they have to watch, if that makes sense. I guess that. I don't know.
It's just sad that people feel like they need to crowbar that in there because the best pieces of Christian are are the ones that don't feel, that don't use proselytization as a chore or a checkpoint. Right. Yeah. So, I'm trying to think of what else we can say without giving away too much. Can we talk about costuming? Yeah. Let's do that. Because again and we're again, we're gonna be trying a lot of comparisons.
And to give to give, a kind of a peek as to why what we did this month, basically, I didn't want to do Christmas movies for the month month of December because I hate Christmas movies. And I said, hey, let's let's give each other a gift and pick movies that we like. And something that we've we said when we started this podcast was we didn't wanna when it came to Christian media, we didn't wanna pick low hanging fruit and just bash give people a reason not to watch or
consume Christian art Right. Especially when there's enough stereotypes that is bad already. And so I said, let's do this. Let's pick Christian movies that we both enjoy, and that will be our gift to each other. We're being like, hey, I dig this movie. I think you will too. Let's watch this and review it. Right. Right. The whole thing on the front about Bryson becoming a superhero was a joke for those of you guys who missed that, although Bryson has sung songs about reading about wearing
tight tights. I'm just saying. I've heard it. He's also has swung a sword around and tried to cut Dallas's throat. Well, not cut it. Just puncture it. No. You can't puncture without cutting, my man. Yeah. Depends on how you look at it. But yeah. Anyway, the point is, is that Branson tried to kill Dallas. That's all we're trying to say. But, anyway, god, now you made me forget the point I was actually trying to engage.
Well, this is these are movies that we liked, and we're trying to avoid the the low hanging fruit. Right. Right. Right. So, basically, you know, this for me coming into this, all the all the production points here are fantastic. And and and we're going to make we're going to make a lot of comparisons to other Christian cinema. And it's not necessarily to say, hey, Christian cinema is terrible because let's face it, there's a lot of indie secular,
cinema that's just as terrible. Right. But we want we're simply doing it to accent. This is growth. This is progress, and it's something that should be pointed out that this is something that should be celebrated because we're demonstrating that in previous whatever Christian cinema, it wasn't this good. And this needs to be pointed out because this needs to be this is this needs to be the new standard, not the new Yeah. Exceptional.
So with that said, the costuming in this movie so far above the normal Christian cinema standard. I know I took the long route to get there, but I didn't want to drop. I didn't. I didn't want to violate our own rules about taking a dump on Christian cinema because I don't you know, there are some good Christian movies out there. It's just their production is poor because the money isn't there. Right. And when the money is there,
you're not gonna make it back. Right. Because, like, this probably should have been something that was said in the beginning, and I gotta pull it up again. But if I recall correctly, beyond the mask did not even make its budget back. Oh, I'm sure it probably didn't. Alright. So it had a gross, well I can beat you to it. I'm not seeing a budget. I see gross, worldwide, which was, 1,236, 94. Opening weekend in the US, 18,000. 18,000. Mhmm. I'm not seeing a budget for this film, though.
I don't remember where I saw the information. I don't know. But even still, or maybe it was the other movie we did, The Masked Saint, that didn't make its budget back. Alright, so the budget for Beyond the Mask was $4,000,000 Okay, there we go. So the problem and so the problem is is that people don't show out to Christian cinema because Christian cinema has a tendency to be poor in quality. So we are trying to point out that it can be done. So let's do that. More of that,
please. Yeah. Definitely. But it it's only gonna happen where the money's at, so we're gonna point that stuff out. Yeah. Definitely. Definitely. So cool. Well, let's go into spoilers, man. Let's go into the spoiler boo. Ladies and gentlemen, the spoiler section. Can I talk about my the funniest light moment for me? Go ahead. It's when, home dude has just, like, jumped out the windows of wherever he was at because,
they're after him. And the the crowd who thinks he's so many time in this movie, apparently, you have to be a little bit more specific. It was right it was right after the dude from Sliders is about to get him. And, and, and they just revealed the fact that he is the, the the the terror of India of any of India. And Yeah. He's he's jumped out there. He just knocks out a bunch of guards. He's holding a gun, and the entire population is standing there going, why does the pastor have a gun?
Like, this is awkward. It's like, why does the vicar have a gun? This is interesting. The thing about it is like the story of this movie is pretty forgettable. Yeah, I'm I'm I'm a be honest. Like, everything that I love about this movie could easily be communicated in the beginning, in the non spoiler part. Like, it looks good. The, you know, the story was intentional. It was intentionally trying to be a story rather than a sermon with a narrative wrapped around it, you know, stuff like that.
But I mean, the actual story in this movie, it's it's it's just a revision, history revision, a revisionist history fiction. Right. Yeah. But I mean, you know, it's Assassin's Creed, man. What are you going to do? It's all like that. I mean, you got it. You got to you're turning a windmill into a band of graph generator so you can blow up the city of Philadelphia. Right. That's really like, that's what the story was.
You know, you have a guy who was, again, the terror of the East India Trading Company, and, he's betrayed. And, and his escape, he takes on identity of a vicar, falls in love with a chick, finds out the chick is the niece to the guy who was trying to kill him. And so he runs off to America, and he's trying to redeem his name. That's the running theme of the whole thing is redeeming his name. I this movie is 100% Connor from Assassin's Creed versus,
a Bond villain. Yeah. Yeah. So Oh, can we can we talk about Jonathan Rice Davies? I'm I I am shocked that his name has not come up since we hit record so far. Like, we were talking about him all before we were recording, and all of a sudden we hit record and we forgot Gimli was in this movie. To be fair, I did say the dude from Slider showed up, so I did talk about him a little bit. But holy cow, people. Okay. So you are He may be the
biggest actor in this film. He is. And boy did boy was that evident. Like, he are you're not supposed to root for the bad guy, but when the bad guy's turning in the best performance, it's hard not to. His acting was on point the entire time. But he again, he he is a he is a professional, he does this well, and, like, he commands a scene when he walks in. It's like watching people, like, it's like watching people on screen with Anthony Hopkins. Anthony Hopkins does this too. Like, he will
chew scenery like no one's business Mhmm. Or or it's like when people get Eminem to feature on one of their tracks. It's like you gotta come with your a game, or he'll body you on your own track. Right. So and this isn't his first like, he's been in a lot of Christian movies. But I would say this. What was your what's your earliest memory of him? Well, here's the problem with John with him as an actor Mhmm. Is he's one of those actors who are chameleons.
Mhmm. Like, I don't recognize him from movie to movie. I only basically, I recognize his eyes and his nose, and everything else changes in everything. Right. And so, like, you look at him in this movie, and then you can kinda see that he's Gimli or vice versa. And so it's just like so, you know, the earliest one I can remember is Lord of the Rings. Oh. However, I know he's been in in a whole lot more than that, and I also know that as a one of those type of chameleon stylized character actors
Right. I've probably seen him in places prior to that and not realized it. Sort of like Ralph Fiennes. He's like in everything. Yeah. But you don't ever recognize him in anything. Like, no one ever goes like, Hey, let's go check out that Ralph Fiennes new joint. What's wrong? Yeah. No. Most people most people would be like, who's Ralph Fiennes? I think my earliest I remember seeing him is it has to be Indiana Jones in The Last Crusade. Oh, yeah. He was in
that, too, wasn't he? Yeah. That or Bloodsport 3. But the the part that sticks out the most to me visually is his part in sliders and, vocally, it's his part in, gargoyles. You and your gargoyles, man. What does that mean me by gargoyles? What does that mean? Bro, it's, like, okay. So we're we're we're we're stepping outside of the bottom shelf for a little bit here. Let me me my Gargoyles.
We're we're we're we're we're going into hey, let's take a look at John and Dallas's friendship for a second. Like, 100%. Like, Dallas and I didn't really know each other until about 2,001. Right. And prior to 2,001, all Gargoyles was to me was an afterthought from my childhood. A minor blip, a failed toy production.
Failed toy production. I have heard more about Gargoyle's history and cartoons and comics since being friends with Dallas that I even knew existed from experiencing it in my own life. Oh my gosh. So, yes, you and your gargoyles, sir, because I certainly did not bring them to this relationship. Look, man. It was a great show. We had 3 seasons. It had a video game that was hard as heck to beat. I didn't even know about the comics until later.
Oh my gosh. Gargoyles and, mighty ducks and the mortal kombat cartoon live in the same time frame in my head. It's cool, man. I get it. I mean, I I dig that. There's things like that with me too, but it's just like, wow. But, you know, you go back a few more years and I'm gonna be pulling out some one hit wonder cartoons myself or I'm or I'm about that, like, Jason, the wheeled warriors. If you don't know, go look it up. I'm telling you. Oh my gosh. Well, back to this. Yes.
Back to the thing we actually watched. Yeah. So but, yeah, he that dude, he, man, he commands scenes like nobody's business, and I kinda felt bad for the other actors at times because he's he's so controlling of a scene in a good way. And, like, even the main actor, like, he's trying. Like, you can tell, like, he's he's put work into it. They're not phoning in the stuff. No. But no. No. Then that's just it. Nobody, like, he he made everybody rise to his standard, not the other way
around. So I think his presence there definitely would help. You could definitely tell he was the person there who knew the most about what they were doing. Right. But I don't necessarily think that anybody else was what I would think was terrible with the exception of one person. Right. There's a scene in this movie. I have to talk about it because you
just reminded me. Because I was trying to remember there was one one scene in particular I wanted to talk about where the people who work for the East India Trading Company attack the house of this family of Patriot sympathizers. Right? Right. And they bring them all out in the front.
And the guy the lead guy from not the lead guy, but the guy who's heading up this band of, of, loyalists to the East India Trading Company has a mask over his face, and he's just like, we're and they're about getting ready to tar and feather this guy in the street. Right. And then the main character who also has a mask on comes in and is like, no. Blah blah blah blah. And then action happens. The guy gets his mask ripped off, and he's refusing to be caught. So
he's just like, I'll not be caught. Give me the baby. And he he he says it in the most hilarious, worst acted way ever. Like the guy who played this guy. And seriously, if you go back to watch it, if you watch all his scenes in this movie, it's like they got everybody who could cut, who could mostly hold up to a scene with Jonathan Rhys Davies. Right? Right. And then they got this guy who I can only assume was on set because he was, like, a huge contributor to
the production funds. Like, he was, like, the head pastor of some church somewhere that was backing the production. So he's, I think, in the movie, give me the baby. It felt like he felt like, like the ADR was bad. Like, they're like, oh, we gotta reschedule that. He went to the studio. And did you did you catch that part too then when I went and talked to him? Like, he's so bad. He was so bad. I won't get caught. Give me the baby.
Was it I'm trying to figure out what character he was because he was a he was a main character sort of in the back row. He he was a mid character like he was. Doctor. Harrow? No. The doctor. The doctor was the scientist. Yeah. Man. Doctor. Harrow sounds like it would be the name of a Final Fantasy character. Does that mean? Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. It sounds like a character from, Mobile Suit Gundam. Yeah. Well, Harrow is the little robot thing. Yeah. Harrow. So which
we're not that sure. Never mind. So here's the problem we're running into right now. Like, we we're both we're talking about the movie, and you're, like, this is a good movie, but we spent a lot of time talking about everything else. Well, here here's here's the thing, and and this is the reason I I don't think I'm projecting. I don't think I'm revealing too much to say that I enjoyed this movie. And for me, that's kinda what a good movie is is you're entertained,
you know? You know, it doesn't necessarily have to be life moving, but you walk away with a smile on your face and you're chatting with your friends and poking fun. You know, it's like that moment when you walk out of the theater. Not everything's gonna be Schindler's List, you know? Sometimes you sometimes you just need a Joe Dirt in your life. Alright. So I found the actor, and his name is Steve Blackwood. So bad. And, like, every scene he was in, he was so bad.
He was in he was in he's been in several shorts. He was in a video called Family Game Night. That sounds like it's gonna be, like, one of those DVD games, you know what I'm talking about? Yeah. It's basically a glorified DVD menu that has, like, trivia on it. He's gonna be he's going he's in something called P Brain, a former soap opera actor, contends with his father and assisted, living resident with alcoholic dementia and reflects on his earlier relationship with
him. So, basically, a soap opera actor whose life becomes a soap opera. Yeah. Sounds sounds like a meta comedy. Yeah. So that's that's just a I mean, his his his acting was soap opera level. So Yeah. Well, again, I'm looking at the actors. Like, the various actors and, again, there's some people that they've done they've done some good stuff here. But a lot of the actors, it's all very much this. We've done some small things and,
and and that's just it. Like, I don't have an issue with small actors because everybody starts somewhere. You know what I mean? Like, George we saw George Clooney in attack of the killer tomatoes part 2. Right. And he's done great movies. So I don't have an issue with small actors. It's just when people can't act, like, they can't deliver a line in a believable way. Right. Or a serious line in a non comedic way. That's all
I'm saying. But it it was it was just a thought because I remember when I remember watching it this time, like, oh, no. So the, I don't know his last name. I don't I don't know how to pronounce this man's name. But, the man who played, Joshua Brand. Okay. In in the movie, the black guy. Yeah. So he was the voice of Apocalypse in X men from the, 97. Oh, hey. Cool. He was, the voice of Isaac in Castlevania, the TV series. Okay. He's done this guy's actually done quite a
bit. He was also in The Chosen, apparently. He did voice work for Call of Duty Modern Warfare. So he's done a few things. Alright. Has some some weight to it. But then again, it's also a lot of small stuff too. So Now I will say this about this movie as well, and that it's something else that I noticed because I having seen this movie before, I really wanted to dissect it because I wanted to make sure I wasn't just looking at it through rose colored
glasses. Sure. Because the other thing I had remembered about it was the action scenes, which were more than what you would expect again from a typical Christian cinema. I was watching the action scenes in it. And to be fair, the action scenes in this movie weren't that spectacular if you break them down on what's being seen. Mhmm. What really made the action scenes pop in this was the cinematography that they applied to the action scenes.
Mhmm. Because the scenes themselves didn't have a whole lot of choreography to them. And to be fair, I mean, let's face it, Andrew Rice Davies isn't exactly known as an action star. Like, the most action we've seen him do was Gimli. And even then, all he did was swing an ax around. Right. So and I was watching that. What they did was they had, slow they basically slowed down the shutter speed on the camera to give a little bit more disjointed effect to the
action scenes. Right. They did a whole lot of smash angle editing to increase the tempo of the scene in and of itself. So you didn't have a whole lot of time to focus necessarily on the shortcomings of the choreography. Yeah. But sometimes that was kind of the that was the style of of action scenes back then. Oh, yeah, for sure. Like, cuts in and out. For sure. Like, if you watch like the Bourne Ultimatum, you see it a lot in there, too.
But what I'm saying is in this instance, taking that taking that technique work towards towards their benefit instead of being distracting from the action scene because I was paying more attention to what the actors were doing and less flashbang like normal people would the first time they see it. Right. And the actors weren't really doing that much that any Joe Blow wouldn't be able to do on
their own. Yeah. Definitely. Definitely. Trying to think if there's anything else I have on my notes here that are worth worth mentioning. I did appreciate the fact that the romance that happened between the guy and the girl, I mean, I let's let's face it. Nobody knows their characters names and nobody really cares. I I you know, there's times I wanna call him the Dread Pirate Roberts, you know. Did you get princess vibes, princess bride vibes from us a little bit? A little bit. A little bit.
Especially on the rooftop scene, when he goes to visit her. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That that specifically gave me princess bride vibes. Anyway, the what I'm what I'm saying though is what I appreciated about the the romance in there is that they didn't try to force it. Like, they weren't automatically, oh, we're so in love and lovers and, like, they they I don't think they even
kissed at any point in this movie. There's times where they got close, but I don't think they actually showed them kissing in this movie. No. They did not. But at the same time, like, this is an interesting top cover, topic about Christian cinema is the, like, how far do you go with certain things and whatnot. And I appreciate that there was romance to it, but it wasn't to the point where things got inappropriate. Like, again, I have zero qualms just seeing
a couple of kiss on screen. I'm not not in that that camp of things. But there is a level of people think, oh, well, you gotta have, you know, this and that. Like, you really don't. Like, you can tell good stories. You know, a classic classic movies, they they projected so much, that whole romance and even sensuality, And you would see, like, the man scoop up the woman and walk off screen into a dark room, and, you know, the kids
are like, what's going on? And the adults would be like, I know what's happening there. And it was a way of storytelling. It was without showing you everything. Mhmm. You know? And here here's the thing. Like, even in this movie where it's not even implied, like, nothing happens, you know, like, nothing actually happens on or off screen. Right. Even to the point where they don't kiss. Right. I didn't feel like this movie was
lacking anything. Mhmm. Like, because the the whole romance vibes were still there even without it. Mhmm. So they were able so that I don't know. For me, it just shows that you can convey that emotion without necessarily having to titillate. Right. Yeah. I don't know. You got anything else, Dallas? No. I think we've mentioned everything. Again, it's it it was a fun story. There are a couple of things, like, time
shifting happened. Like like, it's clearly noontime when William first shows up at, Franklin's, establishment, and he goes a street cross street to the pub. And, like, within 5 minutes, it's, like, night out outside all of a sudden. Mhmm. And there are several of those scenes right there where all of a sudden it was, like, daytime, nighttime, daytime, nighttime like that meme. You know what I'm saying? I'm suddenly having flashbacks to plan 9 from outer space.
So there were several times where it was like that, but, like, overall, man, it it worked. Everything flowed together. And, like I said, the action scenes, they weren't, like, spectacular. But, you know, the it was more than what I've seen in other in other stuff of not just Christian cinema, but budget wise. Mhmm. Mhmm. And so, yeah, that's those were my those were my my final thoughts before we get into the the final rating. Alright. Well, let's get into the final rating.
And here on the bottom shelf, we have a 4, shelf rating system, a 4 level rating system. We'll put it like that. We have the top shelf, which basically translates to I need to own this movie. I must I must have it. So should I ever have the urge, it will always be available to me. And specifically, I have it in physical media. So if the producers ever take it down or turn the handguns into walkie talkies, I can have the original and they can't
take it away from me. Middle shelf, I'd watch if a screen streaming and, you know, the walkie talkies aren't bad. Bottom shelf, I don't watch I don't wanna watch it again. I don't wanna watch it ever again. I mean, you can watch it if you want, if walkie talkies are your thing. But, for me in my house, this movie is crap. And then finally, we have the dumpster fire, which is I'm gonna try to keep you from watching this movie, and I want it to never have exist.
So with that being said, captain Mora, how do you feel about this movie? I'm trying to do this objectively. And, again, as a Christian, I rem I I'm trying to remove myself that that aspect from it because I think that's that has been the downside to Christian cinema is people give things a pass simply because it's presenting our worldview of things, and that's not always appropriate either. Art is art. Is it good art? It's not great. This is not a a blockbuster film at all.
It did make me wanna go back and play Assassin's Creed pretty badly, but I'm in the middle of playing Medgar's soul 2 right now. So I was My my wife got me the Assassin's Creed mega bundle for for the Switch. Yo. I'm excited for you, brother. I surely did almost pull out Syndicate, though, the other day, right, for watching this. I'd probably watch if it was streaming. Like, if it was on, you know, and we're just we're chilling. I was like, oh, okay. Cool. It's on the background. So I'm gonna
go middle shelf. Alright. That's that's acceptable. This movie, for me, it it it transcends you know, we we've said it a few times in the show. It transcends typical Christian cinema on a lot of levels. And for me, in particular, it's in all the ways that hit me in the right way. Right. I enjoy watching this movie every time I've watched it. Is it a perfect film? No. In fact, there are definite flaws in this movie, and if you're looking specifically, if you're looking to find them with
a critical eye, you're gonna see them. But if you're just gonna sit back and watch a movie for entertainment, you could do a lot worse than this. Yeah. I own it. The and as such, the temptation is for me to put it on the top shelf. But the fact of the matter is is I haven't watched this movie for a couple of years, and, you know, that that that says something about it, but I did enjoy watching it again.
And if somebody was saying, hey, you know, can you point me in the direction of some decent Christian movies? This would be one of the movies I would point them towards to give them a better taste than say, for instance, left behind. So with that being said, I, you know, I'm gonna put this on a very high middle shelf. Alright. So I I will I will agree with you. I I my temptation was to put it on the top shelf, but I I think that you did convince me that, yeah, middle shelf is where this
where this goes. So That's fair. But that being said, we have consensus. This is a middle shelf certified film. Go out and check it out should you feel so inclined or if anything in this review has caught your attention. And with that, we move on to the weak connections. This is a weak connection. Here on the bottom shelf, we like to celebrate what we watch by trying to find something productive, something edifying, something redemptive from the movies we watch here.
We call it the weak connection as inspired by an idea from friend of the show, Ben Ben Avery. Salute to you, good sir. That being said, captain Mora, do you have a weak connection for us? I do, actually. For my weak connection, I'm looking at the main character played by Andrew Chaney, who played William. And, William's whole thing his whole story arc is
that he's trying to redeem his name. He feels like he's done too much, to be redeemed, and, he's trying to prove himself to homegirl even to the point of, like, not doing the right thing for the sake of trying to make himself the right thing, basically. And he's just trying to work this whole thing out on his own to redeem himself, and that becomes a a major downfall and pitfall of this ordeal.
And, I wanna kinda this has been a running theme for us here at Geeked Devotions actually for the last couple of weeks, on our main on our main show, Geeked Devotions, about redemption, where or not people can be redeemed and people who feel like they can't be redeemed. And there's a passage I wanna
point out. Romans chapter 3, starting in verse 23, it says this, for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God and are justified by his grace as a gift through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus. And what this is saying is that every one of us is messed up. Every person is is flawed. Every person is away from God, but salvation, that's God's gift to us. We can't do anything to earn it. We can't do anything to to to appease him, to to get that from him. He's offering
it to us. Now it does require us to submit our lives to Jesus, to walk in that identity to be saved, but it's given to us freely. And there's a lot of people out there that, you know, I'm gonna hit 2 camps of people. You got the people who are all like, you, have done too much, which is what Home Dude was feeling like. Well, I'm sorry. You were screwed up too, yet God redeemed you. And at the same time, on the back end of that thing, there's a lot of people, again, they're they're
trying to earn their salvation. They're trying, like, well, I gotta do the right thing. I gotta do this. I gotta do this. I you know? And that's just not how this works. I know a lot of people who, have literally said to me, I've done too much for God to love me, and that's just not the case. You submit your lives to him. Boom. It's done. You're redeemed. Period. End of discussion. And so that's my my weak connection for you guys is we've we've
all screwed up. Don't don't hold that over your head and and make that your identity. Walk in that any Christ has for you. Cool. I have a single week connection for both episodes that we're doing this month because we didn't we didn't actually plan it this way because, like I said, we just picked Christian movies that we liked. Right. And it turns out that apparently both Dallas and I, where our Venn diagrams overlap is we like Christian movies about masked Christian vigilantes.
Are we the ones trying to be superheroes, not Branson? I don't know. I'm try the point I'm trying to make, is that there's there's a common thing between the 2 movies, so I'm going to save mine for the next episode. So stay tuned, everybody, because now you have a to be continued to listen for. Do do do do do do do. All right. So with that being said, we want to thank everybody for showing up and showing
out for the show. It's been a great year, as we are starting to wind down to the end of 2025. Next year, we have big plans, both on the mic and elsewhere. We'll talk about it on the next riveting episode of the bottom shelf. Until next time, stay devoted. Peace and