How To Unlock Your Higher Self & Reprogram Your Mind: Clear Limiting Beliefs, Heal Subconscious Blocks, & Manifest Your Dream Life

The following podcast is a Dear Media production. And now Lauren Everts and Michael Bostic are bringing you along for the ride. Get ready for some major realness.

You know how there was like, there's kale, there was like cold plunge sauna-ing, like there's all different kinds of like waves. I think the nervous system is about... to hit. I would rank the nervous system a little higher than Kale, though. You know what I mean? I would put that one up. Kale had a moment, though. The PR for Kale was really good. It had a good PR moment, but I would say that the nervous system is a much more important wave to discuss. How did you become interested in...

nervous system to begin with so i feel like my story goes back to honestly university and i come from a town with 300 people there's a stop sign okay And I was really lucky growing up. Both of my parents were chefs. And my mom was really into health and wellness. So growing up, I was so spoiled that when I got to university, I didn't even know how to cook an egg. So I go to university and everyone's like freshman 15, freshman 15. And I was like, oh, that's not going to happen to me, you know.

i was just so fortunate to be given all this healthy food that i didn't even know what fat was what sugar was anyway so then i hit the cafeteria and i'm not even thinking and i'm drinking every weekend eating whatever i want and i come home and i'm like I don't think I did freshman 15. I think I did like freshman like 30. It hit me hard. Okay. And so for the first time in my life, I started working on, okay, I want to actually feel better.

And so I started learning about health, about wellness, and really trying to understand how to feel good. And so I think my first intro to the nervous system and feeling good was through trying to feel better in my body. And that's actually how I found your podcast. So this is like back in 2018. Wow. Yeah. Thank you. Longtime listener. And I was like, I was, and I had never heard of personal development. I'd never heard of this world. And right when I learned about it, I felt so.

at home like I loved it I became obsessed and that's how I found out about Tim Ferriss Joe Dispenza all these people that were talking about all these magical things And I grew up thinking like, okay, if you could make $100,000, like you've made it. Like I would be like a millionaire. Like that is like my dream.

And so when I started learning about all these people, I was like, well, there's this whole other world out there that I didn't even know existed. And like, I'm so thankful for a podcast because it expanded me. And then expanded, you know, what I knew was even available and possible. And I'm that type of person that I'm like, okay, I read The 4-Hour Workweek and I basically made that my Bible.

and i was like okay i want to work four hours a week i want to escape winter i want to work for my laptop and i want to work from anywhere in the world that was my biggest dream if i could just do that i will have made it and i started working on the side I started designing websites and logos for businesses in my small town I saw it as like a little niche and so I started doing that

And I wouldn't say it was doing well. I was making money to drink on the weekends. I really wasn't taking it seriously. But that first year, I booked a trip to Australia.

during winter why australia like why can't like what was the reasoning i don't know i just was like I feel like I was a palm tree in a past life. I'm a plant. I'm so happy near the ocean. I'm so happy in sunshine. Can you tell me where your town was near in Canada? It's three hours north of Toronto. It's a small town called Clarksburg, Ontario. Google it. Google it. And what is the main product or good or service that comes out of that? What is the town known for? Apples. Apples. Mm-hmm.

Interesting. And if your parents, I'm assuming if they were chefs, did they have restaurants in the town or what did they do? So my dad had a restaurant growing up and then he started working in the gold mine. So he would fly down to Guyana. And yeah, my dad was wild. He also worked in LA. He worked for Alice Cooper. Like he was Alice Cooper, like the metal singer Alice. Yeah. He was his driver. That's pretty cool. Yeah. What do you say he was like?

I want to play Alice Cooper. I'm 18. That's such a fucking good song. He was wild. I actually have Alice Cooper's jacket. We should have brought the jacket. Do you know who we're talking about here? It's tiny. I do know who you're talking about, but... wait school's out for summer is it yeah yeah but he's got a song called i'm 18. everyone go play it on spotify right now i love that song like made me just want to

kicked through a door when I was a kid. Okay, so you moved to Australia. Yeah, so I moved to Australia. And while I was in Australia, I was like, I'm a millionaire.

because i was working on my business and i was just making enough to break even while i was traveling and and i was like living in hostel so i wasn't living large but i was like this is the best thing ever like i made it and you know that was just everything to me and while I was there I got a call and it was from my college and they were like we really want you to come run our entrepreneurship center and this is in January so it's in the middle of winter

and i just started learning about personal development so i think i was meditating for like three minutes a day like nothing major and i just had a gratitude journal that was about it and i just had this like gut feeling that i was meant to go back and everyone around me was like don't go back like it's the middle of winter you're gonna be so unhappy you did this to escape winter like just stay in australia and i was like

I don't know, I just need to go back. So I took the job, flew back, and then two weeks after flying home, I got a call from my mom and my dad had committed suicide. Oh, I'm sorry to hear that. Thank you.

and for me this was the impossible because he was and still is like my best friend the strongest like hardest working most loved man that i ever knew like when he walked into a room it was like oh my god andrew's here like he he just lit up a room he was the life of every party he was so loved and he didn't see that in himself and i learned that now in hindsight and in that moment i actually felt relief for him i knew he was in a lot of pain he was

While I was in Australia, my mom called me, no, he called me to say that they were separating. And I was like, thank God. I have been waiting for this my whole life. Why? Because I grew up in a family where...

My mom and dad I could see just sense from a very young age that they weren't happy with each other so that so you it sounds like your nervous system was out of whack when you were young too because to sense that oh yeah is hard on the nervous system and it sounds like your dad's nervous system was out of whack obviously yeah because of what happened to him so that's interesting there's like a thread

yeah and I'm gonna thread this into a whole yarn in a moment and so like that because as you grow up as a child that's when you create your nervous system and because growing up my nervous system was surrounded by chaos that became a blueprint for me and I would just attract chaos everywhere I went because that was just my normal and I didn't know what was happening.

When you say you would attract chaos, give me a few examples of what would happen. Blacking out every weekend. I would do this thing where I'd always make myself late for everything. I would always leave everything until the last minute. I would always... just get myself in these situations where I would just cause like for example always making myself late always making myself have pressure when there didn't need to be and like

not choose peace if that made sense like if there was an avenue that was peace i'd be like okay and i want to go this way even though it was like the less desired option but that was just like what was normal to me i'd track friendships relationships that would be that chaotic energy because that was my safety zone that was normal to me It's very self-aware. Not a lot of people that exhibit those behaviors have the awareness to realize that that's how they're behaving.

And I think for people around them, sometimes it could be very confusing because they're sitting there being like, why are you?

doing this so are you talking about me no i feel like you are i feel like this is like like this is like a manipulative tactic i don't believe you i didn't even look at you i know but that's there's an energy if it feels right i'm too in tune i'm not saying i'm not saying it's too soon i'm but i really ask the question i really wasn't talking about you but if the shoe fits and i'm not even were you really not talking about me i swear to god i wasn't talking about you but that's

thing for you to examine I will say you are later but I think a lot of people struggle I mean there's things I think about a lot when one of the big things i think about is self-awareness and i think i'm not the only one but i think it is like one of the big things that

directly impact the outcome of your life is how self-aware you are. And unfortunately, a lot of people are very unselfaware. Like they don't realize that what Is in their wake After the decisions they make They don't realize How they're being perceived By family and friends What's something That you're self-aware about About yourself Like I can come off I know for sure Like that If you get introduced to me And I'm saying the wrong line Like I know A lot of people think I'm probably an

arrogant asshole. And I'm aware of that. I'm aware of the way I can come off. And so I tailor it in a different way in my personal life and others. But I'm aware of that perception. I'm aware that my blunt delivery sometimes can make people uncomfortable. I think the worst thing is you go through life and you're not aware of those things and you're confused by why people react to you the way they do. Does that make sense? Or you're confused about why you're having the outcomes you're having.

i mean it as a compliment like when you are that self-aware you're able to either live and kind of like manage that or you're able to kind of use it to tailor the outcome that you want. But when you're not self-aware, as I believe most people are not or many people are not.

then you go through life really struggling because you're like, why does this keep happening? What's going on? Why am I in the bad relationship? Why do I have bad friends? Why do I not get the job I want? Why am I always so upset? You know what I mean? It's because they're not...

being self-aware of what's actually going on around them. So through the self-awareness of you realizing that you're choosing chaos over peace, what happens? And I want to come back to that because that's a really good point. And so...

okay so going back so in that moment when my mom called me i hung up the phone and i called my best friend and this was the best friend that i met in australia and i met two of the same people in the same way i said i love your tattoo and i don't often compliment tattoos but they had really beautiful tattoos and they both said oh thank you this is because i lost my

one was her boyfriend and one was her brother and in that moment I was like wow I've never met anyone so positive so happy and has been through a trauma like that and I just had this knowing that i was like i'm gonna lose someone and that's an example to me that i'm gonna be okay and so when my mom called me i was like okay gotta go i called my friend and she was like marley

I just don't want this to make you lose your sparkle. And as cheesy as that sentence was, it was exactly what I needed in that moment because I needed something to be my northern star.

and i was like i'm not gonna let this break me because for the first time i've experienced so much like happiness which was living in australia running this business for actually like the first time in my life like feeling so happy and i was like okay i am not gonna make this break me i have no idea how to go through this i have no idea what i'm doing but i'm just gonna make this make me

And it was at my dad's celebration of life, like four months later that I spoke and I said, I'm going to dedicate the rest of my life to figuring out a way and a tool. so that no one does what my dad did and think that that's the only option and has to struggle so much to get there. And I and again, like I had done like a three minute meditation at this point and maybe done like a few gratitude journals like I had not healed or done any like deeper healing. And.

For the first time, I went to therapy because it was subsidized from the government. Like we grew up, you know, I would say poor, like struggling. And from a very young age, like I just thought, OK, if I can have money. then everything will be okay. Because as a young child, I was always like observing like, okay, what was causing the chaos? What was causing the problems? And I always felt like because there wasn't enough money, it caused tension.

So from a very young age, I was like, I just want to make as much money as possible because then I'll be happy and then I'll feel love. Like as a young, I just remember thinking as a young child, like that was like the solution to the problem that is existing in the home. and so on that journey I was I began becoming obsessed like I'm a Capricorn and once I get into something I get in so I was reading all the books listening to all the podcasts like Joe Dispenza

Tony Robbins, all these people trying to figure out, okay, how do people actually feel good? How can people love themselves enough and actually have permanent change?

in their life and feel good because and I became my own guinea pig because I again didn't know how to deal with grief there's no handbook you have no idea what's going on like it was I was literally going to work and my shoes had like massive holes in them and I didn't even notice. It was so, yeah. Quick pause on that. Out of all those books and all those things that you read and studied, who do you remember being the most impactful or helpful? Because I'm sure a lot of people want to know.

I mean, you mentioned Joe and Tony. Well, can I be honest? None of them. Okay, that's not true. But in the sense of everyone kept saying the same thing to me, they kept saying, if you want to change your life, you have to change your beliefs. and i understood that because i started studying the subconscious mind and we can go into that of how that works and and i understood okay if you change your beliefs you'll change your reality because i was like how can someone grow up and have

And not have money and have all this money. Like, what did they do? How did they get there? And I was trying to like reverse engineer success. And everyone just kept saying, you just have to change your beliefs. You just have to change your beliefs. But no one told me how. And I was like, okay.

And the options were like hypnotherapy, journaling, dah, dah, dah. And I was like, I don't really like those options because nothing is, I mean, nothing in life is guaranteed, but there wasn't like a result. There wasn't like, okay, this is going to get this. It's like, just do this.

for the next 40 days and see what happens and and i didn't like that i was like i i get i want results so over time and to bring it back to the nervous system like that's why i created my method is it is the most effective way to reprogram your living beliefs into positive ones and you know in my own life i went i lost 30 pounds i became a self-made millionaire at 30 growing up poor you I...

met the love of my life and I have a healthy loving like beautiful relationship which wasn't modeled to me growing up financial wealth wasn't modeled to me none of this was modeled to me growing up but I was able to do that through changing my beliefs and so when it comes to the nervous system you know that is your body so if your body is in chaos it's signaling to your mind okay there's danger there's threat and when your body is in danger and threat it's like

it's like a lion running like after a zebra and the zebra is like okay danger danger that zebra is not thinking okay how am I gonna make more money today what's for dinner you know it's not like relaxing and like thinking about its highest next self is thinking about survival and if i think if we get people out of that survival mode and out of that danger and allowing them to feel safe that's when

like the weight drops that's when you manifest the relationship that's when you build your dream business that's when you follow your soul purpose that's when you empower yourself to be the best version of yourself and create this life beyond your wildest dreams. So say there's someone listening that has negative beliefs. What are some tactical tips that you can give?

to help change those beliefs because you mentioned there was nothing that actually told you how so if someone listening i'm sure everyone listening like i teach this stuff and i embody this stuff every day i still have living beliefs like everyone has living beliefs it's The thing is, okay, so let's choose an area of life. I think most people come to me for money. I was just going to say. Let's talk about money. The way people talk about money to me is wild.

Wild. I don't even want to say the word that I want to say because I feel like that's limiting to me. I want to say there's a way to think about money in a really abundant way. So how can we switch that belief if someone's listening?

so much fear around it because you're talking about survival. It is a modern day survival mechanism, right? If you don't- make a living a lot of people assume this if you don't make a living you have a hard time making your way through the world because it's how we transact it's how we eat it's how we provide it's all these things but even that sentence that you just said slow vibration i'm just saying that's why people have fear around around money

Okay, so let's look back to this self-aware conversation. So there's a law called the cause and effect. You are the cause of the effect. and i think once you start to realize that and empower yourself like my financial reality was my effect like i was causing that effect okay when i was thirty thousand dollars i created that no one came in and gave me that debt like i created that

which also means that I have the power to change it. Well, you see, a lot of people have struggled with this line of, and by the way, I 100% agree with you, but a lot of people struggle with this because... We live in a culture now where there's, in many cases, a lack of accountability and there's a lot of blaming and there's, you know, well, these are my circumstances. This is how I grew up or this is what someone did to me or society puts this pressure on me. There's and I.

agree with you. I think if you don't have that accountability from the first place, it's very hard to do what I think you're about to talk about, which is then make the change. So what you're saying is the first step is self-awareness and self-accountability. Yeah. I always say this. The first step is taking 100% accountability for your reality. I mean, put that on a t-shirt. I totally agree with you.

And I get it. Like, it was so much easier for me to be like, it's my parents' fault. You know, it's the way I was raised. and wanting to blame everyone else because that is the easier option like that's the way but it's i'm to get out of it that's comfortable also delusional but but i always go back to you like how bad do you want it like how bad do you want to change how bad my okay in the beginning it was silly but my why was literally i did not want to experience winter ever

Like, I didn't. But that's a why. Like, that was so much pain for me. Somebody who's experienced the winners, you guys get up there. We don't have them, but I... I've heard stories of what those winners look like. And like, you know, we freak out over here if it gets, you know, if it gets into the third. If I go to London, I'm like, and I love London, but like by a week, I'm like, oh my God, because it's dark at three.

i mean it's no it's depressing it's so depressing hard yeah but maybe i need to change my reality and go to london and be like you know what I love London. Yeah, but London doesn't get that kind of win of what you're talking about. But also like you're also allowed to not like things. Like if you don't like the cold, you don't like the cold. You don't have to suffer. And that's the thing is like, I think it's like, so people move away from pain and they move towards pleasure.

right so if their reality isn't painful enough they're not going to change actually because that's just like what they're used to but this is actually so okay so your beliefs were created between the ages of zero and seven That's when your subconscious mind was open and you took in everything as, you know, this young baby and this became your truth and this became your comfort zone. So this became your financial thermostat.

Not just financial thermostat, but every thermostat. So like relationship thermostat, body thermostat, like what you learned and what was normal and consistent became your comfort zone. That's interesting that it's I didn't know that all your beliefs come from zero to zero.

Seven. Yeah. That's very interesting. So if someone's listening, what are the steps that you would take to change their belief? The first one you mentioned was being self-aware. yeah what's the next one okay so we're talking about money okay but this can go for any area of life if you want to manifest relationship whatever it covers everything so if you are wanting to track more money i want you to take a piece of paper

I want you to light a candle. I want you to close the door and I want you to put your phone on silent and set a 10 minute timer. And I want you to write down what are all my beliefs about money.

and you're gonna have a moment where you write something you're like something comes you're like oh I don't want to write that down okay but you believe it so you just need to get everything out okay not writing it down isn't going to make it less believable like you still believe it so we need to get everything out on a piece of paper and that you can look at and you can do a direct equation of like this

is creating a reality like you can mirror it thinking like an audit yeah an audit so give me an example of like what people like you've seen what what they write down and like how that audit works okay so i'd say the biggest lemming belief that i see in my practice is Wait, guess what it is? What? Guess. What do you think is the biggest... Around money? But like universally, what do you think everyone's biggest lemming belief is about themselves?

I can't lose weight. Which translates to everything. I can't. They don't have enough confidence. On that tone, it's that they believe that they're not enough. That's the biggest thing that I clear amongst all of my... everyone that comes to me and that's why louise hay says in all her meditations to say over and over and over every day all day long i approve of myself

Yes. That's interesting that you say that. She never says, I am not enough. She says like to combat that, I would think she says to say over and over all day long, I approve of myself. I approve of myself. That's in every one of her meditations. Yeah. That's interesting. That's exactly why.

So because beliefs don't have like this thing where they're like, okay, I'm only going to show up in relationships and then not money. Like it just over all areas of life. So then if you don't believe that you're enough, then there's also never enough money.

then also your partner never does enough for you. And then also your body is never going to look good enough. It mirrors in every area of life. A lot of that comes from comparing yourself to other people's journey or other people, I think. That's where I think that that... Because how would you know what enough is without comparing yourself? I think it's that for sure. And a lot of people like society does a good job of trying to humble people consistently. Exactly. And people get shamed.

for bragging about themselves, being overconfident, being their biggest cheerleader. People want you to humble yourself in front of them, right? I get shit whenever I say, I think I'm great. I think I'm amazing. But if I don't think that...

How can I expect anyone else to think that? Because again, even when you're saying that out loud, there's certain people that will be, they don't, it rubs people. I think everyone should think they're great and everyone should think they're amazing. That is my, like, if I, my thing is like, if everyone in this world.

could just believe that they are more than enough just as they are, the world would be a completely different place. I agree with you. And and also, OK, so we are raised in schooling in and think about how we're taught in school when you get your grade back is it like green check it's like red red red when you're speaking in front you're

constantly getting audited on how good you are we are constantly getting audited on how we're not enough we are programmed to believe our whole lives that we are not enough every time even in in the class it's like okay who's gonna play gym who's picking for gym it's like oh the person get picked last that's not enough it's like we're it's not our fault it's not like It's just the fact that we are constantly being compared to others, compared to the media, compared to...

this perfect you know photoshopped person and if you don't look like this you're not enough like that society makes us think that i feel like you have to brainwash yourself you do you have to literally what's that thing you have to reprogram water board yourself Was that what the right word? No. You have to like... Waterboarding is a debated form of torture.

that they use you have to like delude you have to be delusional and you have to think you're fucking amazing wait you're using waterboarding in the completely wrong context you know who I feel like is really a good example of someone who just thinks they're amazing and it it radiates out of her Kris Jenner like you can tell that even before keeping up with the Kardashians like she and Kim too they like they thought their thoughts you can tell were like

The sky is the limit. You can feel that energy. That's their beliefs. So that's their beliefs. So that's their reality. The belief is the cause and the reality is the effect.

always okay so sorry i'm going on tangents but i'm like getting so excited about this we love a tangent okay so if you say something like money is evil or i don't need money to be happy what you're doing is you're creating the cause is now the effect is basically you will push that away from you because

you have created that narrative or people that like there's a there's an undertone sometimes i notice of people that sort of shame other people for caring about money do you guys know what i'm talking about like Like being like, I don't, I don't need this. I need this. And like almost like shaming people who, who enjoy making money. T. Harv Eckhart says, yeah, we'll show me their bank account.

Right. It's almost like if you want to make money, you can't shame the thing that you want. Does that make sense? No, exactly. Most people that I speak to there's a very rare like they will be very aware of the fact they want a lot of money like I Maybe because I live in South Africa, it's like different but I think most people most of the time whether or not they want to admit it or not know that they want money they just feel really frustrated because they don't know how to make more

But that's an affirmation. What you just said saying, I don't know how to make more money is an affirmation. That's a belief in your head. What I think that is important about affirmations that people have to understand. is there are negative affirmations too. So saying, I don't know how to make money. I want more money, but I don't know how to make it.

that's going on in the tape and the cassette in your head exactly so okay wait perfect analogy okay so if we think about your reality as like a movie projector okay the There's a film and the tape and the cassette is projecting the movie. Exactly. So the film.

is your beliefs and whatever you believe will be projected so if we think about okay we want to change the movie we're not going to this screen like cutting out and like adding stuff to the screen we're going to the tape and we're removing the old tape and we're adding a new tape to create a new reality and and that comes up in your energy too everything so in my practice the most effective way to making more money to creating this reality that you want has come from changing your beliefs and

I have so many stories I could tell you guys. You have amazing stories that have happened. Yeah. But it sounds like the first step is you have to get...

you have to take accountability and then you have to take inventory of what's going on in your life. And then you have to change, like if you want something to change, you have to change your beliefs around the things that are not going well in your life. I will give an example in my own life of how a limiting belief really affected me. And I've talked about this before. so if you've heard it sorry I after my first baby gained so much weight in pregnancy and the tape in my head was

I can't lose weight. This is so hard. This is so overwhelming. I feel so fat. That was the tape that was playing in my head. And the second that I changed that tape, the weight fell off me.

Of course. What did you change it to? I changed it to I'm losing weight. Weight is falling off me. And Louise Hay taught me how to do this. This isn't like something that I innately knew. I'm losing weight. Weight is falling off me. I would imagine myself in the outfit that I would want to wear. I had the outfit hanging in my closet. I would look at it every day. And so I sort of like manipulated my reality like clay.

to what i wanted it to be and this pregnancy my third one the tape in my head right now is i'm losing weight I've gained 30 pounds, so I'm acknowledging what it is, but I'm losing weight. And I think that you do, the first step you're right is not, it needs to be a self-awareness that you're even having the thoughts or beliefs. You also have to want it. like i'm not here to convince anyone what they want and don't want like

If you come to me and you're like Marley, I really want to earn more money. I want to manifest my dream relationship. I want to manifest my dream body. I'm like, okay, I got you. I have the tools to get you there. but you have to want i think that's also the first step like first step aware that you create your reality and you are fully the ownership is on you to do this and then you have to want it and then once

Like, okay, I'm sure that once you start changing the tape, you maybe met out of nowhere this trainer that was going to help you or like found these tools that were supported in that. That's exactly what happened. Yeah, exactly. So there's a part of your brain called the reticular activating cortex. It filters out based on your beliefs.

filters every reality so like if you're in a room and everyone's talking and everyone knows michael you'll turn but no one else is going to turn because that word isn't important to them right so that's your rac so if you're having that tape over and over in your mind like okay i

i'm so fat or whatever the trainer and the whatever is not going to come to you because you're it's not in alignment with your beliefs so it's unimportant another way is you know when you're looking at a car and like you just start to see that car everywhere and you're like oh my gosh like everyone has this car now that car was always there just it was never important so what happens is when you start to

change your beliefs for example you change it like I also was just getting by like paycheck to paycheck and then when I started to change my beliefs and change my beliefs about money I started to see opportunities where I only saw

ways that I couldn't make money I started to make see ways that I could make money so when you change your belief your actual brain filters out what's important which is incongruent with or incongruent with what you actually believe so then you start moving towards things that you

believe are true to your point so there's a science behind it it's not just like woo-woo manifestation it's the way your brain works it's the way your brain works it's like opens your channels i also think when you become obsessed with something

I'll give you an example. If all you're obsessed with is how do I make more money, more money, more money, more money, that can that can that's almost out of alignment and unbalanced and that can end up hurting you so if you become I'll give you another example if you become obsessed with finding someone you're not

letting it in and letting it get into alignment. So I think the affirmation part's important too. You don't want to become obsessed with money to me it's like money is a tool to get me to where i want to go which is what's the bigger goal of that bigger than the money does that make sense yeah so okay so i love this point so whenever i have a client who's like okay i really need a relationship okay

well why and and it's it's with everything in life because it's like desperate yeah it's desperate energy and that repels as we all know but you're not actually after this is actually the interesting thing people aren't actually after the money it's the way the money is going to make them feel the way the relationship is going to make them feel and that's almost that's almost like how do you rework that exactly so

I would ask you, like, why do you want a relationship so badly? I want to feel loved. I want to feel supported. I want to feel seen. I would say, okay, that's great. do that now like love yourself now make yourself feel support and and because you can never you will always attract what you are you attract what you are we're energetic beings you attract like law of attraction like attracts like

So if you want to attract a thing, you can't attract anything out of lack. You can't attract abundance out of scarcity. It doesn't work. If you're in scarcity 24-7 and you're trying to attract more money. That doesn't work. I think the reason we got back together is because you changed your energy. No, but...

I always had good energy. You were just like, you were closed. You were confused. I know, but there was a little desperado in high school and you changed the desperado. This is not this. Talk about this. experience i don't think i was desperado there was a little like waiting up for me until 5 30 in the morning when i was asleep at one energy i had other girlfriends and other things going on okay but then when you got out of that desperado i was like i kind of leaned into it

Side note, you know how we were talking in the car the other day about how you create these false narratives? This is a false narrative. It's my inner monologue. Welcome to it. I remember basically going to you, and this is a true story, tell me if it's not, and saying, This is the last fucking time you have a chance with me. Are you taking it or not? And there was no desperate energy. True story. We got to work on your narratives.

but i'm like trying to think about that i'm like so you took back your power basically and she felt that yep and then but but that's with everything narrative also with money that's with the relationship if you want something so badly you can't you can't attract it from chasing it. You have to become it and embody it. What I will say, and this doesn't just apply to me or to you or to you or to our producer Carson.

Everybody knows the people in their lives that are constantly complaining about what they don't have or how hard it is or how bad the relationship is. And we all are sitting here either listening or thinking of these friends. The pattern is a recognizable pattern. It's the same narratives on repeat, right? It's a scarcity narrative. I can't do this. I'm not enough. Nobody wants that. And it's that over and over and over again.

And it's heartbreaking when you're close with someone to watch it, but it's exactly what you're talking about. It's the scarcity is not going to bring abundance. the unfortunate thing is like getting i i feel like you have to be ready for this conversation in order to hear it you have to want it to your point there's a lot of people they just it's like on repeat until they i think get to a point or have a life event where they say like enough is enough i'm changing

yeah like so i had a client and she kept attracting partners that would not respect her boundaries over and over it was this theme And we think, okay, well, I'm just going to break up with this guy. And then the new guy is going to respect my boundaries. And the same thing over and over and over and over. So the reason why that happens is because you are attracting that because you don't respect your own boundaries.

so when i met her and she actually came to me for money she wanted to make more money but her real thing was like i really just want a relationship and i was like okay well let's see what's been going on and And the thing that she complained about most is that men never respected her boundaries. So I just simply asked her, like, where do you not respect your own boundaries? So we had a list. She stopped. She just made pivots and adjustments with all those things.

And is it hard for her to hear that message or to go through that with you? Well, to your point, she was ready. She was seeking help. She was seeking. She was seeking help. So she was like, I'll do anything. Right.

things like she was working till four in the morning she was going to the gym for four hours a day like she was disrespecting her like disrespecting her boundaries her body people would do things and she would just allow it like they would say mean things instead of standing up for herself or setting a boundary she would just allow it so there's

a very large lack of boundaries that's interesting yeah so she started saying those boundaries and we cleared her limiting belief that she is disrespected this fear of being disrespected and And then I have this tool called Neural Linking. It's how to create a new belief. It's creating a new neural pathway in your brain. And her new neural link is that I'm so respected and that I'm loved for who I am.

two weeks later I get a message from her and she met this guy and he literally has been so nice to her and he messaged her saying I just want to let you know that I respect you and I respect your boundaries and then four days later it was like and I just love you for who you are and I was like

but like you can't even make this up like once she changed her energy it was like physically represented through text messages and again it's not a coincidence it's just you will always attract what you believe

So if you believe in scarcity, you will attract scarcity. If you believe that you're respected and you start respecting yourself, you will attract that. It's like, it's exactly what, I mean, it's like that thing. It's like wherever you go, there you are. And it's what we're talking about earlier with self-awareness is like a lot of people just like really struggle.

to see themselves from a realistic perspective. We see ourselves in the way we see, but it's hard to step back and truly be self-aware and be like, this is not only how I see me, but how the world sees me. Right. And until you can do that, I think it's really hard to get to the points you're talking about. I also think what you said, if whatever you want to attract, you have to be first.

And they teach you this in AA, I think. It's like, whatever, if you want someone who's hardworking, if you want someone who's disciplined, if you want someone who's funny, I have this friend. And I swear to God, he was sitting around making fun of the girls that he was attracting and their teeth. He's like, what is going on with these girls teeth they're yellow they look like a snaggle tooth one is brown like I heard him making fun of these girls teeth and I looked at him and I'm like

bro your teeth like literal look like i don't even like he works at the carnival like like it's like you can't expect someone to have perfectly beautiful teeth when you don't have the teeth yourself and that's a physical example but it goes for like energy too like you cannot

My favorite is when someone who is so goddamn unfunny and not witty is like, I want someone who's funny and entertaining. It's like... You sit there like the fucking WB frog. You're not going to find someone that's fucking tap dancing with pizzazz when you're as boring as like you. It doesn't make any sense. If you want someone who's funny and witty, then you have to be.

funny and witty but your friend sadly was projecting his teeth insecurities onto these women and it's not fair and he needs to heal his own like insecurity to attract. Here's a crush strip. No, because I'm done with these guys like that. I hear Michael's, our friends complaining the guys. Don't blame me. It's our friends. No, but it's like, yeah, it's all of our guy friends and I'll hear them complaining.

girls and I'm like are you funny I've never heard any of your girlfriends complain about guys Yeah. Well, I would tell them the same thing. Like, are you funny? Like if you want someone who's funny and also like my thing too, and I'm going to call this out. If you're a woman and you're listening and you're saying that you want some rich man.

Go be the rich man. Look at Cher. Go make money and you will attract money. I really believe that. I mean, listen, here's the thing, and this is the truth for everybody. We are hypercritical of others and not nearly critical enough of ourselves. like i i am a firm believer in shame

I know people think that's crazy. I really am. I think people don't have nearly enough shame. They're not nearly enough ashamed of themselves at moments in time. We are very quick to project onto others why they should be And why they need to change their behaviors and why they need to.

do better. If I see one of these people tell me to do better one more time on the internet, I'm like, I'm going to go and I'm going to show up at your door and audit your life. Everyone's going to tell you to do better. I'm going to go and I'm going to knock on the door with a clipboard and say, I'm here with a team to audit your life to see how you're doing. But it's true. It's like we're so quick to project. outward and and judge other people

And we're not nearly quick enough to judge ourselves. Like the way we're living, the way we're behaving. But Marley's right. There's a projection. But do you get what I'm saying? But it's a reflection. You're actually just judging yourself. So whenever, sorry to interrupt you, but whenever anyone complains about anything to me, I was like,

okay you're actually just complaining about yourself so let's put that back on you so for example so i also have friends that want rich men right but it's like okay but why do you want that rich man you actually just want safety because you believe that if you have a rich man taking care of you then you'll feel safe they're going to get into that relationship and they're never going to feel safe because they're trying to fix an inside problem which is wanting to feel safe

on the outside and what i'm here to share with people is like if you actually just believe this on the inside then You can feel safe and then you can attract any person from a place of love and actual alignment and actual like soulmate connection instead of.

this needing them to validate this feeling of safety but like I'm sure you heard so many stories like it never works out that way like if you're trying to fix an inside problem from the outside you see this all the time with actually celebrities

they grow up they don't feel like they're enough they had some sort of like controlling parent that made them feel lack so then they're like okay i'm gonna become famous and then all these people are gonna love me then i'm gonna feel more than enough then they get famous and they realize oh my gosh i still don't feel enough then they go to drugs and alcohol

hoping to numb the pain and we all know that but that's like it's like it all stems from this belief of like not feeling this is like the thing that I feel like

if anyone could take this away from this episode, is if you are struggling with not feeling more than enough, if you fix that one thing, if you, if you... reprogram that one belief your whole life will change then you'll have more than enough you start to attract more than enough money you'll start to attract more than enough love like you'll just have this feeling of

peace inside of you and safety inside of you that no one can take from you I think this episode is really important and a lot of the things you're saying is how I try to live I'm obviously not perfect at it but I love all this stuff it does get called woo-woo all the time but I don't care it's I'm just sharing like what's worked for me I think what you said earlier about

seeing all the people that you're pissed at or you're angry at or you're critical of and looking at them every single night and doing an audit and then see where you do the same thing that's pissing you off. So if you're pissed off, I'll give an example that someone's playing the victim.

see where you're playing the victim, like flip it on its head. That's been really helpful for me. If I'm critical in my head of someone, I try to see where I show up as something that they're doing. And it sort of gives yourself a self audit.

I think for anyone listening who's like, ooh, this is woo-woo, I choose science instead. The thing about science, and again, you can... is science what are we looking for something that works 100 of the time nothing works there's nothing in this world that works 100 of the time and in science they used to literally shoot babies up with mercury like right like

So science is getting debunked every single day. And so what I like to look at is, OK, what has credibility? Credibility means it has belief and trust. if you have credibility you have belief and trust so what do you believe and trust and for me it's what has worked for me and it's what i've seen work for my client and i and i like I can't not just see where my clients are changing their beliefs. And let's just look at myself. Let's not even involve my clients.

is no reality where someone like me from a small town in ontario canada with 300 people who grew up not having money who grew up in a home i i mean i love my parents are doing their best and i acknowledge them for that and i love them for that i like i was i chose my parents it all worked out perfectly but like there's no reason that i should have became a millionaire right

The reason why that happened is because I chose to change my beliefs. I wasn't lucky. I didn't work harder than anyone else. It was like that was a mere reflection of I used to believe in scarcity and now I believe in abundance. What are the tools that you use?

throughout the day or in the morning or night to help you really be your highest self. Oh my gosh, I forgot to even mention the tool that I talked about to change your money beliefs. So this is a really good one. So remember how we were making a list of all of our natives? Do you burn the list?

No, no. Because you said light a candle. No, we're lighting a candle just to, like, set an ambiance. Okay, got it, got it. So... we're taking that list and that is a reflection of all of your beliefs about money and you're gonna see okay if you fear the most common money fear is probably that there's not enough or that you're gonna run out yeah very scarcity or that they don't trust money they don't trust it to increase very common and i've inconsistency with money that's a big one

And so this is just a really simple tool that anyone can do at home for free. So I invite you to do that. And then on another piece of paper, you're going to write down the opposite belief. So how is money so consistent? How am I attracting so much money? How is my money increasing? And you write all the opposite belief and you write that down. And I love actually changing it into something called an ask formation. This like.

levels up an affirmation because if you don't believe that you're beautiful and you look in the mirror every day and you say you're so beautiful your your mind just gonna say no I'm not Or if you're like, I'm making so much money, your brain's going to automatically dismiss it and say, no, I'm not. But your brain is actually wired to answer questions. So if you say, how am I so beautiful? Or how am I making so much money? It can't dismiss that because it's a question.

your reticular active main cortex what we talked about earlier it's going to start to find the answer to those questions tony robbins says if you want better answers ask better questions so you begin to write down all the opposite beliefs as questions so How is money so consistent for me? How am I making so much money? Or how am I now making $4,000 a month? And then you're going to notice again.

Maybe with Lauren's situation where she changed her beliefs and then this trainer came out of nowhere. It's like, OK, there's like this referral or someone comes up with you a business idea. And usually your brain would say no and dismiss that because you don't make money. But now you start to. things in and then things start to change so

I would say that's a really easy tool that anyone can do right now at home that will change their life. And you can don't have to do this with money. This is literally everything. We've done episodes where, you know, when people say I don't have enough money and you say, well, how, like, what are some things I could do to make a little bit of extra money? And then you're.

forced to go through that exercise and you're supposed you actually like have to go through and talk about the ways and it gets your brain thinking about the possibilities so i fully agree with that process what is the most amazing success story that you've had one of my gorgeous clients came to me

And again, she came to me for money. And she started telling me about relationships. And she was like, I think it's going to be easier for me to manifest $100 million than my relationship, like meeting my soulmate.

and i was like challenge accepted yeah but that's an affirmation exactly oh but but don't worry i'm like this is like that's my job so whatever she believes coming to me i'm like it's fine that's old that's an old story yeah so using my method the clear the fear method because basically

if you want something let's say you want to ink you want to feel in abundance with money you want to have more than enough money which is you're not an overdraft every month let's just say that as bare minimum the reason why this is going to shock many people the reason why you don't yet have

that is because you actually are afraid of it i agree with you so you're like a relationship would be the same thing everything you're almost maybe you're used to chaos and you're afraid your comfort zone is chaos i actually Just a little tangent. To go back to what we were saying, I actually will say that I don't think I was ready. For the relationship. Oh, here we go. Did you hear this? Wait, earlier the narrative was that I was too desperate. Well, you were a little desperate.

I'm going to have the team blend these clips together. So you're going to say the first part of the thing was you saying I'm too desperate and the next part of you saying you're not ready. You were desperate, but I also feel like I wasn't. ready for a normal consistent easy relationship i wanted to go through the chaos exactly so michael represented self-awareness period but michael represented Like safety consistency and for you that was probably a little boring

At first, I'm being honest. By the way, I love it now. Of course. That's what we all want. We talked about this earlier when we were dating. I'm like, listen, I'm not going to be that kind of chaotic.

running around like i'm not going to invite all that shit when you find that person that's like i'm not willing to get on the chaos train like i'm not going to do we're not going to have infidelity we're not going to blow out fights we're not going to have the thing where we like scream and yell and fight and don't

talk and then make up and have good like we're not doing that i think a lot of people like they want that and so and it comes off maybe the person comes off as boring if they're not giving that to them but yeah in the long run like what do you want well i i wouldn't say i don't I don't know if anyone wants chaos. I think they're just used to it. It's just their comfort zone subconsciously. I understand that.

I understand that. I'm not going to say people want chaos, but it's that thing where girls are like, oh, I date bad boys. Yeah, because that was what their dad was. What is a bad boy? Does that mean I'm a womanizer and I treat you like shit and I don't come home?

And I you know and I lied to you and I do that like a bad boy Like or is that just like wait somebody you shouldn't be with right? Yeah, I think what I see in my practice that woman attract the relationship that they have with their father because that's what's comfortable unless they've done the healing work around it because that's what i did until i healed that and then i met someone that was so safe so grounded so consistent family and i was like what's going on like i had to actually like

have that feel safe for me okay so my back to my i actually have two stories that i really want to tell because one's to do with money because i think a lot of people make 100 million dollars not yet but we're getting to that so so so i was like okay what about being in a loving consistent relationship is scary that's my question that's my number one question to all of everyone that i ever work with okay and

What it came down to is that she believes if she's in a relationship, she has to take care of the person. Again, this is not conscious. This is subconscious. It's a subconscious pattern because She was ready to believe she has to fix everything. Like she is responsible for the other person. So subconsciously, she was attracting all these people.

that were like needing so much from her. And she was just like, this is the biggest ick. And we'll just like push them away because she's very independent. She's very capable. Like she doesn't need to be taking care of herself and someone else. So using my method, we cleared that fear.

that she is going to have to take care of someone else and feel responsible for them. And it literally goes to the first moment that you create the belief. We reprogram the story and it creates a new belief in your subconscious mind. And two weeks later, she's messaging me being, I met someone. I was like, oh my gosh, wow, that's amazing. Two months later, they're literally engaged. And she's like, I met my soulmate.

engaged within two months of clearing this belief so did you tell her that she owes you a hundred million dollars well now i was like okay check that was easy let's go to the hundred million dollars now Okay, another story. So this I think will be more relatable because we're talking about money as well. So I had a client that was constantly in overdraft. And she came to me and she's just so frustrated because she's constantly in overdraft. And this is very common.

people will like make let's say 500 but then a 500 bill will come up so it's like it's constantly this up and down this feast and famine energy i see a lot so people have the money then it goes and have money well they like taking it to the edge yeah well and they're

addicted to this just enough. It's this pattern of always just having enough. That's interesting. Do you ever get pushback when you say that to people, when they're saying people are addicted to just enough? No, they're like, you're right. No, because the people that are coming to you are ready for it. Yeah. That's the thing. That's why she's not going to get pushback because the people that are seeking her out are ready for the conversation, which is great for you.

Go ahead. But that's what I'm ready for. I'm ready for people who want to change. If we pulled that clip out of context, people would be upset about it. We put it on social. I can see it now. You put that, what you just said on social, and you say, what was it again? People are addicted to just being enough. No, no. It's just having... enough but the thing is i want to say and make this very obvious it's not their fault it's not like they're like purposely

feeling this way they got taught this growing up and it's embedded into their subconscious as a child they took it on and now 35 45 55 years later they're just believing this belief over and over and it's not like they're choosing it we can't

We can't just say, oh, this is a belief and I just don't want to believe this today. It's a habit. It's an identity. You can't just wake up and be like, okay, I'm going to change my name from Marley and tomorrow I'm going to be Samantha and just change my whole identity, right?

we identify with these beliefs it's our identity and so it's it's like not your fault if you believe this is something that you have learned it is a behavior that you've been picked up and have been taught but it's not your fault but it is someone's fault if they aren't if they don't become aware of it and hold themselves accountable it's your choice to

continue to believe it but it's not your fault that you are it happened to you right so it's not their fault it's not your fault that it happened to you but it's your due diligence to take accountability and be self-aware to change it i think so So what happened to the girl in overdraft? So we were on the call and I asked her, like, what is scary about having more than enough? And she had this fear of guilt.

This fear that if she had more than enough that she was gonna lose someone and that's very common with the money Like I had to clear that myself I had and we can get to that Maybe I'll be my third story of how I made a hundred thousand dollars in a week after clearing one belief but

I went to that client and I was like okay she had this fear of if she had more than enough she felt guilty like like someone she was gonna have this disloyalty from her family and you have to remember in the subconscious nothing is logical there's no

or like logical sense it's all illogical because it's basically like a child brain right i understand that just there she felt guilt around making a lot of money yeah so we went using the method using clear the fear we went back to the exact moment and it went to her like literally on a playground and she was surrounded with all of her best friends and they were all making fun of kids who had money huh and so we rewrote that story we recreated the new belief and on the call she got an email

from a new client which was 3 000 pounds a month which automatically put her out of overdraft moving forward again it doesn't always happen that instantly but when you change your belief system it Opens up a new reality and that just like happened instantaneously, which was so incredible

but i'll finish it off with my one of my i've had to heal many limiting beliefs around money and i still am like at every new level i'm noticing okay there's new like healing is like an onion like i'm noticing as i'm increasing and growing that there's always new things too heal well i was going to ask you a personal question for someone who's come from humble beginnings to now having the success you've had like how much did that actually change your happiness like i'm sure it contributed but

To your point, there's a lot of people that get to that next level that aren't happy, right? That's such a good question. So it was actually very early on that when I hit my first $10,000 a month in business, I was living in Australia. I had an oceanfront apartment.

had everything in my life that I had dreamed of at that moment up until then like I had made it to the point and I was like oh wait I'm still dealing with anxiety I'm still dealing with the loss of my father I'm still not happy every day because i thought that if i had money that everything would go away like i it would solve all of my problems and i would be super happy and everything would be great and although money does solve money problems

I think after a point of like having needs met and like not having to worry about money, I personally don't believe. It has a diminishing return. I don't believe that it makes you that much happier because what I value now is honestly like family and is feeling safe and having a regulated nervous system, is having like a safe home that's surrounded by trees.

that's what makes me happy and and being surrounded by a family who i feel loved by and loves me is like the richest that you can ever be in my opinion so I love giving people the tools to make enough money to do whatever they want travel but at the end of the day I think what I'm really here to help people know and inspire people to do is like not to settle not to

give up on their dreams and not to think that just because you have this desire, you're not capable of achieving it. There's that quote by Jim Carrey of all people. And he was saying like, I hope everybody gets rich and famous so they can realize that it's not the answer. Like he's like, I hope everybody experiences his most richness, as much fame as they can have so they realize it's not the answer. And I think like.

To your point, many people that struggle with money think that once they have money, it'll solve all their other problems. It solves the money problems. And I'm not going to listen. Once you have your basic needs and groceries and can take care of your family like there is. a certain level of satisfaction and stress release and happiness that comes from that. But there's still all the other things that you're going to have to deal with as a human being that money cannot solve. Yeah. So I was.

in a business launch and it was like day three and no one had purchased and it was just so weird I was like what's going on like this is abnormal you know and I was like oh wait I literally teach this stuff. Let's do what I do best, what I would do to someone else. I do to myself. So I went to the beach and I asked myself, like, what about earning money right now feels scary? And I realized that.

At this time, I was like newly in my relationship. And I realized I had this fear that if I made this money, I was going to push my partner away. And I would never do anything. ever to like purposely push him away because i love him so much and so I went back with my method and it came to this point as from a young age, when I was young, I made up this belief that money makes people leave because when my dad went to work, he left. And so when my dad went to go make money, he would leave.

And so I made up this limiting belief when I was a young child that when there's money involved, people leave. And so I cleared that limiting belief. And then within seven days, like everything took off and I made it $100,000 cash in seven days. That's interesting that you say that because when I say to my daughter I'm like I'm gonna go to work I love my work I have to go make money

I don't want her to associate that with me leaving. That's so interesting that you say that. Jesus fucking Christ. It's like fucking whack-a-mole. Anything you say to a child, by the way, you like... You're like, did I say that wrong? You want to make sure you say it right because you're right. One little thing that you think is like lays on fair and like just casual talk can have an effect for a lifetime.

I like I hear what you're saying, but you love what you do. Your family is super safe. You have a loving home like that feels aligned like that feels good. Well, I will tell a personal story. I was telling my daughter for a while. I'm so sorry.

to go to work i really want to be with you but i do have to go to work and i talked to emma greed who has four kids and she was like lauren change it to mommy loves what she does and i'm so excited about work and it gives me so much purpose so i'm gonna go do what i love

And that's what I do now. And it's a totally different conversation now. Yeah. When I leave, she's like, oh, mommy's going to go do what she loves to do that lights her up. Because kids get worried about you. Yeah, because it's like, because I was saying before, like, oh, I have to go to work. I'm so sorry. So I was almost like. giving like a negative energy towards work.

Yeah, but it's so true. Like the way you say it is so important. Well, children take everything personally. So like as a young child, if my dad left for work, I wouldn't I didn't have no one told me like, oh, I'm just going to work like I still love.

you it would just be like leaving and then and then I was like oh my god there's something wrong with me so it created this belief for you know up until I started doing this work is that like oh I thought something was wrong with me because when my parents left or when there was an argument I didn't think that oh they're arguing about something that's not to do with me you and all children do this because they don't have the conscious mind to

rationalize they just take it personally and they think oh I've done something wrong this is to do with me this is my fault so I'm going to take this on as a survival mechanism to feel safe and then we hold that until We change it. So you cleared that belief about your partner and you ended up doing 100 grand in a week. Tell us about the app because I know you have clients personally. What can people expect on your app?

So the Higher Self app is for you if you want to reprogram your limiting the belief. It's the first subconscious reprogramming app on the market. And it's a daily ritual. Every morning we need to.

recalibrate our brain to what we do want because like we've been talking about all day if not we will go back to those automatic habits of not enough etc etc and so we need to start every single day with reprogramming and recalibring to what we do want so i see this app as your daily ritual to creating a life beyond your wildest dreams so it's just like a check-in yeah so we have something called clear the fear which is the method i created to clear

limiting beliefs in 22 minutes so we have like a hundred in there so basically all the most common limiting beliefs that you have are in the app to clear those and then we also have recalibration so these are my version of meditations and And these recalibrate you to what you do desire. So if you want abundance, your dream body, if you want to feel peace, if you want to heal your nervous system, any state that you desire to be in.

is in the app and we recommend swapping it for your morning meditation to actually instead of to really just recalibrate you to that reality and we have four custom tracks for a skinny confidential collection that we made cute yeah so you guys can go to the higher self dot app slash skinny and that's so nice that you gave them four months for free that's amazing everyone should go do that and if someone wants to come talk to you direct how can they find you on instagram

So I'm everywhere at Marley Rose Harris. And yeah, send me a DM. I love to chat and I'm here to help. I got so much out of this conversation. I think what you're doing is so important. And it really, you are right, it does start with your beliefs and that can completely transform your life.

It's very like, it's very Awaken the Giant within Louise Hay vibes. All the good vibes. Lauren, you had a breakthrough. You realized that you were chaotic and that you were just like pushing my consistent. Yeah, you had a fear. After all this, it was just a fear. I totally had a breakthrough and I wish my husband could have had the same breakthrough and self-aware enough to understand that he was Desperado. Marley, thank you so much for coming.