Kick Rocks, Eat Dirt

Welcome to our mid-Roland Garros 2020 dispatch. Those sounds you may have heard over the last few days were those of players often being loud and wrong. We’ve got a fairly predictable final eight on the men’s side, while the women’s draw has turned out some truly shocking yet inspiring results. We dive into the latest Zverev mess, Novak’s quip, Hawkeye misinformation, Sara’s cursing, retiring players before they’re ready, and finish with a rant on calling Naomi’s man her “rapper boyfriend.” Who’s deserving of being told to kick rocks and eat dirt?

5:00 A lot of surprises in the men's draw, but the quarterfinals are still pretty standard

10:30 Sooo many first-time third rounders on the men's side

14:40 Zverev has a fever. Oh?

27:50 Women's draw: Swiatek destroys the clear tournament favorite, among many surprises

32:30 Errani loses the match and her mind as Bertens cramps

44:00 Damn, it's tough to be an umpire these days: the HawkEye saga

56:20 Keep your saliva in your mouth; keep your dad in his seat

59:40 Et ceteras: don't retire players before they're ready

65:20 Why are we still telling players how to schedule and whom to date, during a pandemic?