Hey, everybody, it's Bobby. It's Sunday.
So we're gonna play some clips here from some of the podcasts that came out Hang Out because Amy talked with Stephen Young, founder of Home Street Home. It's a homeless ministry that is really a great story. On the Bobby Cast, I talked with Darius Rutger about his new book. It's really the untold story of hooting the Blowfish and a lot of the pain that his biological father left behind. Things got pretty emotional for me and him. Check out that episode if you haven't, but I want to play
a clip from that. Here's my conversation with Darius.
Hi, your dad, relationship with your dad?
None?
None?
That was It's funny because I'm a I was reading I was doing the the uh.
What do you call it?
Audiobook for the book, and I'd read it.
I've read it a couple of times, and I started reading the parts about my dad, and that's the only part that I was like choking up. I was like, really, because I didn't know how much it bothered me until I wrote the book. I didn't know how much it really just shaped my life and bothered me my whole life until I wrote the book and then I was like, wow, that was that really really bothered me?
Yeah, that's real.
I had those issues with writing my first book because with a lot of stuff about my mom before she died and her and same, I was like I didn't understand like how fundamentally, like even misunderstood I was to myself, Yeah, until I like put it out and then I'm like, well, I got to evaluate and then even debating on putting it out, So putting it on paper or writing it was the first set then going do I really want
to send this? Yes, and like having that conversation of how on committing to it and then you're right, reading it back was really hard.
There was some that was tough with the dad stuff was stuff, but there' stuff in the book where you know, as you're writing it, you're writing it and you know you're you're laughing or whatever, you're you're whatever, or you know, but then when you read it.
Back a couple of times, you go, wow, wow, you know crazy.
Did you have a new appreciation for the younger version of you at times who's gotten through some real serious crab Yeah?
I really that was something that also happened. That's perfectly saying I got a really more respect for me and an appreciation for me because all the stuff, all the negative stuff and the positive stuff, but all the stuff that happens that happened when I was younger. Man, I wouldn't go to let anything stop me from doing what I wanted to do.
And if it were another kid who you saw from you, you'd be like, so proud of that freaking kid. You'd be like, I cannot believe that kid's doing it. But if it's us, we're like, no, we're just surviving. There, We're you know, we're in the middle of it. We don't really understand except survive absolutely, and.
So same for me.
I had.
It's weird to say an appreciation for that kid who got through.
Like all that crap.
Absolutely, and that book was a real therapeutic.
That's that's exactly what it was. And that's one of the reasons I wrote it. And I didn't even realize that was one of the reasons to go once again, you started writing, you start writing it, and you're reading it back and stuff's coming in and you read.
It and you're you're going wow, wow.
You know, you're proud of yourself, but you're also like, wow, life really through some curveballs in there.
Did you ever get the the stage of as you're writing it, like, man, I'm so over me, Like, I'm like, nobody cares that much.
I mean, I went through all yeah, that's just like I was, It's all about me.
I was writing about me and me and me.
I'm like, God, nobody cares.
I called Clarence, my manager, and said, dude, why are we doing this. I was like, no one's going to buy this book. Nobody cares about my life. I was like, dude. And then you know, you're you're worried about some of the stuff you're putt in. You're like and you're like, am I really going to put.
That in there?
And then you put it in there and you're like, nobody's going to care about that. You know, like even even you know, now you know, I've written a book, and I still like, no one's gonna care about.
This same I had the same feeling, and I remember being ashamed not of what I put in it, but ashamed of the potential feelings I could have when people were judging me.
And so you're, yeah, that's oh my goodness.
So you're you're at the stage now where people and it's so different than music though, because you're going to put out this book and you're gonna be like, all right, I read it for people to tell me and take us like forever to read a book, so you just kind of they it's a slow roll of like people. But there was a part in my first book where my mom was struggling and she was a bad attic and she had called and I started to make a little bit of money and she was like, if you
don't give me money. I love my mom, so I'm gonna say that. But there was a where she was like, I'm going to do porn. And that was really heavy and hard on me, but it was also it made me realize how awful it was for her, and like I knew, but I didn't really like yeah, but when she called and threatened me, like I'm going to do
porn if you don't send me money. I had that where I was like, I don't know if I should put this in the book, but because of what I had to develop, because so I put it in with the context around it, and I thought people are going to judge me, or people are going but That's the thing when I would go do shows that people would be like, not the exact same story, but fairly, that people will be like. That's what I related to the most. Yeah, And that was the part I felt that I was
going to be the judge the most on. Was that type of stuff, Yeah, the really personal stuff absolutely. So, the fact that you have those feelings like I'm proud of you, because that means you put it out there.
Oh, I put it out there for sure. This is one thing I talked about in the book where I don't see my dad from the time I'm like thirteen or fourteen till twenty eight, fifteen years Nope, not a word, never saw its face.
You know where it was, Yeah, fifteen minutes from my house. You know, he lived right up the road.
And never saw him fifteen years and then let him it hits and things that start getting crazy.
And we're playing.
We're playing out a string of clubs and rooms that we had booked and uh so we're playing in Charleston at the King Street Palace, which used to be Charleston County Hall, and I'm having dinner after soundcheck and he walks in the room.
Do you know it's him, Yeah, Dean.
Dean knew it was him before I say anything, like Dean, Yeah, Deana Basis. We're sitting there eating and Dean looks up and goes, I mean he just looked at me. Oh that's gotta be your daddy, looks just like it's like it is. And he walks over and he talks to me and actually really acts like you know. We saw each other yesterday and I decided I'm going to be the bigger man. And I was like, you know, cause really you have so many conflicting things. I'm like, am
i gonna just blow this goulf? I'm gonna tell him? What are you doing here? I've being seen you in fifteen years?
You know? Get away?
No, I said, all right, I decided I was going to be the bigger man. Try to develop some kind of relationship with him. So we talked for a little while and I give him my phone number. This before cell phones. I give my phone number and go on the road for a couple of days. And I get back to my house and I checked my answer machine and he's on my answer machine. And the first message he left me in my whole life, I haven't talked to him for fifteen years. He asked me for fifty
thousand dollars. It was shocking. I was like, are you kidding me? And painful and expected me to give it to him.
Yeah, and here you are hopefully investing yourself back into something. And the first that's I like, that hurts my heart because that's just that's so painful and I can unders being mad and like I can't believe it, but also big time.
Because that's your freaking dad, and maybe and you know, and when he came with I'll never forget like reading reading back of course, like we were talking about it, you know, therapeutic, and I'll never forget after him coming and us going on the road, how I just felt like, Okay, cool, now dad and I were going to have a relationship.
We'll try to have some kind of salvage something for father and son relationship out of this. And that was the first thing he asked. He asked me, and I don't think we've ever really had a conversation after that.
Good cass up road, little food for yourself.
Behaved.
It's pretty beautiful, man, beautiful that.
A little more family because.
Said he k you're kicking out with Full Thing with Amy Brown.
Hey, it's Amy Brown from Four Things with Amy Brown. And here's what we talked about this week on my podcast. Do you have a load that you'd be willing to share?
I have to go back to Christmas Eve of twenty thirteen, at the beginning of the year, I'd made a promise to myself that I would never spend another holiday season alone on the streets. Up to that point, had done practically everything I could think of to try.
To get off the streets.
As we've talked before, it's not easy and nobody can do it alone.
They've got to have help.
And I was tired, and each day that went by it seemed I was getting closer to that being the life that I was going to live forever, and I I couldn't handle that.
I didn't want to handle that, I didn't want to deal with it.
So a little bit before the holiday season, I realized that the promise I had made to myself at the beginning of year not to spend another holiday season on the streets, the only out I could see to keep that from happening was to end it on my terms, and so I checked in to Hallmark in on Trinity Lane in Nashville, Tennessee. And that is done with a sense of sarcasm. Because the room was nineteen dollars, I think, so that tells you how luxurious it wasn't but it
was Hotel California for me. I was going to check in and I had no desire to check out. I had made the decision that I was going to end it, and I was okay with that. I was calm to a degree. But I realized that that's how far I had sunk. But for the grace of God, I would have succeed. People have asked me, and we've talked about it,
and well what happened? Well, I wish I could tell you, because I went from sitting at that little table with the pills in front of me, a few letters that I had written to a few people, not knowing if they would ever get them or read them. I was ready. I was done hurting. I was done going to bed at night, falling asleep, hoping I didn't wake up the next morning. The next thing I know, I hear a knock on the door and I'm startled. I'm shocked, and
I'm going, who's knocking at my door? Because nobody knew I was there, and I had looked at the clock earlier that was beside the bed, and it was nine o'clock Christmas Eve, and I thought, good a time as any well, when that knock on the door came and it startled me. I was sitting there for a minute, and then another knock followed it, only this time there was a voice with the knock, and it said, sir, are you staying or are you checking out? And as I looked at the door, I caught the clock again
and it set eleven o'clock. But it wasn't eleven o'clock Christmas Eve, it was eleven o'clock Christmas Morning, and I was like, what the heck? I cleaned my language up. I think I used something a little more colorful back then, and I was kind of in a state of shock, and I reached into my pocket and I pulled out what money I had left, and I counted it out and I said, I'm going to stay another night. I'll come down and pay in just a minute. So I did,
and that was the beginning of my journey back. I would like to tell you at that moment, that was my come to Jesus minute.
But it wasn't.
I wasn't there yet because, as you know, knowing my past, God and I did not get along for many, many years. But it was the beginning and March of twenty fourteen, I walked off the streets. So my lowest turned into my highest, and I've not looked back. What I thought was me giving up was really me letting go. And it wasn't until I was ready to let go of trying to fix things that God saw the opening and he took it to fast.
Forward you fourteen hours that you can't explain right right where you're like, how did I get here?
Right?
And he took that opportunity. And I tell people now, whether they're homeless or people that I counsel with and people that I know that are down, I go. You wanted to change, let go, let go of the past, let go of the pain, let go of the hurt, because until you do, there's no room for anything else.
And there's got to be room.
And thankfully, y'all, you were not successful no in twenty and thirteen, because the lives you've been able to impact since then are countless at this point. And you celebrated your sixty eighth birthday this year. Thanks for reminding me, yes, yes, hey, we got to celebrate that because you know, come a long way, yes from that hotel room, which I think is a perfect setup into another point that you posted that really moved me, called sixty eight years of yesterday.
So I'd love for you to read that one.
Next, sixty eight years of yesterday. There was a time when the odds of me reaching this point weren't very good. Yet here I am, and in the quiet early morning hours before the sun puts a spotlight on this day, I can't help but look back and try to put my pass in perspective and ponder what may lay ahead. I was so self absorbed that I never considered what it would feel like to reach this stage of my life. I never thought I would, and I wasn't sure I
wanted to. Most people spend decades preparing for their later years. I spent that time living only for the moment, with total disregard for the future. Now I find myself hoping I'm around for a while longer. Did life go the way I'd hoped or planned? I can't say, because I wasn't much for doing either. I think that luxury disappeared from my life when I was twelve. But as I sit here and try to describe it, I'm transported through the years on a whirlwind recollection that seems surreal at
best and unreal at worst. Regrets. Oh yeah, Still, I'm blessed because I have lived long enough to change my story. It wasn't until recently that I questioned or cared if my existence would have counted for something. Would I pass on without it having had a positive impact in this world or leave having made a difference, even if just in a very small way. I wasted so many years, But I thank God for never giving up on me and for allowing me time to hopefully make a difference.
We're gonna do it live. Oh the one, two, three, sore losers?
What up, everybody? I am lunchbox. I know the most about sports. I'll give you the sports facts, my sports opinions, because I'm pretty much a sports genius, y'all.
It's Sison. I'm from the North. I'm an alpha male. I live on the North side of Nashville with Bayser, my wife. We do have a farm. It's beautiful, a lot of acreage, no animals, a lot of crops hopefully soon corn pumpkins, rye. I believe a little fescue to be determined. Over to you, coach.
And here's a clip from this week's episode of The Sore Losers. And here's a clip from one of and here's a clip from one of the episodes this week on the Sore Losers. Take this clip and play it and betting. I guess if it's a push, you get your money back. But in Vegas it's that roller coaster.
So if you went up to the ticket window and they just gave you the same money you gave them, it's not the bubbles. Rather lost it. It's sort of like a sid It rips at you and then you go.
Let's double back and get some more baby honey to the ATM.
You either want to win or you want to lose, and you want to be on the ground drunk reaching for an airport bottle.
It's like a hand of black jack. It's like the emotional roller coaster that you're saying. You put, like, you up your bet and let's say you go to fifty dollars on that hand and you're like, okay, this is you're betting twenty five a hand or whatever.
What's a minimum at the Aureo.
Oh, now it's the minimum in a lot of places. Vegas is getting so expensive. And Brandon Hill he was not happy with our Vegas advice. Uh, and he put he goes, since the coachers are retired from Vegas, let me give that guy suggestions. And he wrote out a whole article and I said, hold on, we're not retired.
We're hanging on. Yeah, that was depressing. We'll be back.
Yeah, we're gonna make a special trip just to get our name and our credentials back. Anyway, it's like a hand of blackjack. You put fifty dollars out there, you up your bet and you flip it over and you get a twelve. You're like, oh my god, you gotta hit. And the dealers showing nine.
Lunch is Tonia to not hit? Okay, buddy, thanks, I'll decide And.
I'm like, all right, gotta hit. And you get a three. You're at fifteen. He still has nine. Got to hit again.
I'm hitting again. Then you get up. I don't eas you to tell me I'll hit again. Then you get an a. So now you're at sixteen. Oh my god, I'm staying I'm staying. No, you can't stay at sixty. No, sir, you're not telling me how to play. I'm staying at sixteen. And then you hit again. No I said I was staying at sixteen.
And you get a three and you're like oh yeah, or you get a four twenty and you're like twenty.
Hell yeah.
Like now the emotions because you started with a twelve, you're like, oh, this is a losing hand because he has nineteen. The dealer has nineteen, and you're like and then you battle and battle and get those little cards in little cards and you're like, oh, yeah, I got twenty. Then they flip it over and they have a nine and a six, so they have fifteen. You're like, oh my god, okay, bus pus plus, I'm gonna bus bus And then they flip over a five and you're like twenty.
Oh it's a push. It's a push.
But the emotional roller coaster you just went on of Oh I'm gonna lose too. Oh, up on the top, I'm gonna win. Oh push h It's sort of like that in the soccer game.
Ye're just giving me my money back. Awesome, I'll just re bet. Thank you.
Eye in the sky. It was just like our soccer game. We were down three to two, then we think we're up for three, but then it's back to three three and we ended the sigh and it was just like, oh, after thinking we scored the winning goal.
I know it sounds a little counterintuitive, but you want to lose it or win it and then say every another drink, honey, go to the ATM or high five, high five, we won, we won. You look to your buddy. Should we double down?
Yeah, we pushed, man, That means we're gonna win the next one. Let's should we.
Double this bet? Yeah?
Okay, cool.
Hey, does your chick have any bananas left in her purse? Give me a loaner and then I'll hit you guys in the morning at brunch. Yeah yeah, Hey, man, does your chick have another chip?
Yep?
Let me let me win that back. Yeah, and then I'll get you guys. I'll get you back with that one. And then yep, yep. Just give me a loaner. My chick went to the ATM. Hey, give me a couple of those green chips. Man, give me a couple of those. Man, I'll get you back.
I'll get you back Hey, can I those chips to double down cot bar those chips?
Oh we lost.
Man.
A normal life, you'd never do that. You would never just lunch lunch, give me twenty and then I'm gonna play. But in Vegas it's totally normal to just share. It's just hey, let me hand out dollars all there. Here you go, Here you go, Vegas. Your buddy's chick will reach in her purse and throw you to twenty five dollars chips, when in real life, she would never give you fifty dollars. She'd be like, what what, Yeah to pay for beer, give me fifty, and then when we
get to your house, I'll pay you fifty. Right, that doesn't make any sense. Oh man, weird? All right, but Vegas it's so yeah, yep, I got twenty five from your chick. And then this stranger I've never met gave me ten. I'm good, honey's going the atm what there's a five dollars feet Oh so I lost five dollars.
Hey, your one ever sent though, I'll give it to strangers, strangers at the table.
It's a loaner. One. Yeah, he loaned me, I'm loaning him back. And then you go to the ATM and then we'll all get pay each other.
Bash.
Stranger at the day was like, man, I don't have any more money to double down? Oh here you want to bar twenty five?
Man? Oh really?
Yeah? Cool?
I mean why would I do that?
But it's Vegas, so it's like it's all in the camaraderie of the the camaraderie, camaraderie of the table.
You gotta Oh yeah, man, here's twenty five. Man, don't worry about it. Yeah, just double down that.
We gotta go back.
Oh he lost that, and he goes yeah. Man, all right, well guys see you guys later. Wait wait wait, wait wait you're leaving you only twenty five though? Okay cool man.
Buddy, Yeah, hit him. Yep, we gotta get him back. We owe him twenty yep, and yep we're good, We're clean.
All right.
Uh thanks guys, Yeah, all right, well guys, have a good weekend.
Man.
Yeah.
Hey, Mavericks, Mavericks the Western Commerce Finals. If you bet that you need to cash your tickets? Yeah, go ahead, go ahead, not bad, not bad. Oh yeah, I still got that one part lay ticket.
Oh yep, let me see if I can cash this sweetie, give me twenty minutes sports book cash this and we'll have the money back.
All right, yep, dad, Yeah, we're good all right. Yeah, you know we still got some bets out there. We still have a chance to break even on this trip, babe. Yeah, all right, cool cool?
Yeah. Hey, if if we lose, remember I got that hundred dollars your mom gave me, so we can do that, you know, do the hunter your mom mammy. Oh yeah, that has to be good.
Look, I mean, you get she said, she said, we just bet this for me, but we'll just tell her at loss and we'll use this money for us, you know what I mean?
Right now she said, use it Yep, that huntery mom gave me. Yep, I'll take that.
Good.
Yeah.
Yeah, well let's should we just do it on once spin a roulette?
You then that's a good idea here, other money, all right? Cool, we're cleaned out, all right? Yeah? You want to see the fountains, Yeah, I mean, dang, I see the Futon lunch. Hey, I see the foutains a while. You know.
You know what I haven't seen. I haven't seen the remodel that they're doing over there and playing in Hollywood let's go over there.
Man, wait here broke. All of a sudden, you're coming.
Up with other ideas.
Hey, you want to go see what characters we can see on the strip. You know, see who's dressed up. It's Mini Mouse out there today. It's like, hey, honey, I mean, should we go and take a nap? I mean we just walked up an hour ago, But I mean I guess I could take.
This damn vander Pump restaurant. Every time we're broke, you want to go get those goat cheese balls. You see, they got some good drinks over there. Man, it's good cocktail menu. We've been there, like definitely five times. It's over there at the Paris. Yeah, every every time we're broke to vander Pump, I leave. I stole the napkins. Dude, they're all like fine printed. I wake up the next morning, I like, how drunk was I got five vander Pump
rules napkins? Hey, I mean, you know money's a little tight. Should we take the silverware? I mean we paid it.
I mean we put one hundred on the roulette table, so it's like we bought the silverware, right, like.
Hey, and think about it. I mean We had a good time, right, yeah, a great time.
It was fun, so fun. The emotional roller coaster. We just had absolutely fantastic. You go to Saint John paying the exact amount base. I mean it's all you get, you know.
Yeah? Good times?
Man?
Do you have fun? Yeah? Had fun? You have fun? Yeah? Cool man? All right, lunch? You got the Uber? Yeah, I'll get I'll get you back in Nashville. Oh you have venmo me man?
Or are we We'll just call it even because I borrowed that twenty five from your wife?
Yeah, oh you got another twenty in there. You want to do one more spind Hey this twenty five where we turn it around? Okay, girls, yep, we lost that twenty Yeah, y'all got y'all got the uber? Yo? All right?
You know what now that we lost that twenty five, maybe we should just walk man South Beach.
Dude, South Beach. When he goes broke, he'll walk his ass to the airport punishment because he lost all his money. Oh that's terrible, that's terrible. You will walk from Caesar's to the airport. He's done it multiple times. That's that's pretty bad.
Hey, it's Mike d And this week on Movie Mike's Movie Podcast, my wife Kelsey and I broke down the top ten best selling DVDs of all time. This episode is jam packed with two thousands of nostalgia, and I don't know about you, but I'm in desperate need for two thousand nostalgia right now, So if you want to be transported into that time, be sure to check out
this full episode. We also gave a spoiler free review of the new comedy movie Babes, and I broke down why legendary director Francis Ford Coppola is spending one hundred and twenty million dollars of his own money to put out his own movie this year, So be sure to subscribe. But right now, here's just a little bit of Movie Mike's Movie Podcast. At number six is Shrek to selling
eight point two million copies. Came out back in two thousand and four, just celebrated it's twentieth anniversary and they re released that thing in theaters a great DVD.
And just talked about it having Shrek guy, you know, I owned it.
I would say of all the DVD actually, Shrek doesn't make the list.
That came out a few years earlier, so I feel like that was probably still on VHS because I think even like the first Harry Potter movie I ever had was on VHS and that was like two thousand and one. Yeah, so I don't think the switch really came into like late two thousand two. Yeah, that lines up, so, yeah, Shrek two would have been the one that was bigger.
And I feel like people like Shrek two more than Part one. I'm more of a Part one.
Shrek was the revolutionary.
It was so huge at the time it came out.
Please stay off of the grass, shine your shoes, wipe your face, all.
Of the adult jokes like that one. The other one I didn't realize people didn't pick up on was the fact that Lord Farquhaad killed one of the parents of the bears. Like at one point you see the family of bears and you see them missing the mom bear, and then later you see him and he has like this rug that is a bear. So it was all these things happening. Also in the background is like these second subplot jokes that was kind of level for that time.
I think that's the only reason, like my parents enjoyed taking me to kids movies because there were jokes someone over my head that they would laugh at.
That's what started that, and now is the thing of putting in jokes for the parents so that they can enjoy them too. That's got started with Shrek getting into the top five. Now from two thousand and nine, Avatar selling nineteen million copies. I feel like at two thousand and nine, DVD sales were starting to dip a little bit because you had HDDVD, you had Blu rays starting
to become a little bit more prevalent. So I'm surprised it's this high on the list, but also makes sense just because how big Avatar was, how it crushed crazy box office numbers, so I feel like that probably translated into a lot of DVD sales. But I didn't really see this movie making the top five.
If I never saw Avatar again in my life.
The original or any of them, because they original they have three, four five coming out more.
The original, I didn't really I would be fine.
I didn't really understand it at the time. I thought it was way over hyped, and it wasn't until The Way of Water came out that I went back rewatched that one and I kind of got it again, and I enjoyed the Way of Water in theaters.
I enjoyed it.
It is very long, there's a lot going on, but I can also respect the big action adventure like I was talking about in Pirates of the Caribbean, Avatar goes next level.
Now in my head, I'm confusing Avatar two and Black Panther sequel because they both had people in the water.
Yeah, movies have been doing that a lot recently.
Which one had like the sound paralysis.
That was Black Panther two. Okay, yeah, well, I mean we also had three monkey movies this year, a lot of monkeys. Whenever a trends starts, it just keeps going. We had Monkey Man, Kong and Godzilla, and then we had Plant of the Apes, a lot of monkey movies. At number four from two thousand and eight is The Dark Knight, selling nineteen point two million copies. I remember
getting a copy of this on Black Friday. My mom and I used to always go to Walmart and Target and the only thing I would seek out was cheap DVDs.
I bought a couple sets of Gilmore Girls on DVD on Black Friday. But my mom and I had this thing where we'd go to Target, and we'd find ourselves just like grocery shopping.
On accident during Black Friday.
Yeah, we'd end up.
With like popcorn and toilet paper in the basket, and the people like, you know these aren't on Salem.
We're like, no, we know, we just were already here.
We're just looking around.
Yeah, it's not really a thing anymore.
It used to be fun to go. And aside from finding movies. I remember getting The Dark Knight and it was the Batman head where it was just in the shape of the Batman mask and you'd open it up and have a DVD on either.
Side, kind of surprice. You don't still on that.
I think somewhere in all the moves in Austin it got lost, or maybe we sold it at some point when we sold a bunch of our DVDs. There was a time when my brother and I kind of separated all of our collections, so maybe he kept it. He probably still has it. That was always my mission going to Black Friday is finding the cheap DVDs because you could find them for like sixty seventy percent off and they would.
Put out the like circular and they would tell you which DVDs were going to be cheap.
And they would just have them in like the big Gold.
Now Black Friday sales start on like October first.
And it's not the same as all online. You don't have that interaction with people. You don't have people well, I guess you don't have people hurting each other anymore as much, which is probably good.
That was the thing too, Yeah, the craze.
But aside from movies, I would always get the Simpsons box sets, which are normally were like thirty forty bucks. You could get them for like ten bucks. And I had from season one all the way through probably fourteen or fifteen, all on box set because I could get it for so cheap.
I'm glad you don't still on this.
I think Rudy still has my brother keep those Rudy Classic collection. At number three from two thousand and two is Spider Man, selling nineteen point five million copies. This was another one I didn't actually own, but I had a bootleg copy of it. It was part one and part two. Part one I got a bootleg copy in America, but part two I got a bootleg copy in Mexico.
Was it in Spanish?
It was in Spanish.
I'm sad you don't know that. I mean, it probably has computer viruses and we don't have anything.
To watch it with.
But I would watch a bootleg version of Spider Man in Espanol.
There were a lot of movies I got as bootleg copies in Mexico, and for the most part it was people sneaking in a video camera into the theater and recording it. That was one of those. So every now and then it would shake or you hear somebody came.
When they'd have the anti pirrating lot at the beginning.
It was so hardcore. You wouldn't steal a car, but why would you steal a DVD?
This is unlocking so many memories.
But I remember getting The Spider Man two in Spanish, Passion to the Christ in Spanish. Probably shouldn't have got a bootleg copy of that. Looking back on that, there's probably some weird association with getting a bootleg copy of Past.
To the Christ sing that on one.
I also got Gothica, which was a horror movie with Holly Berry. And then I got a documentary, probably Michael Moore documentary. Oh no, no, Michael Moore. It was The Supersized Me. It was just funny to say supersize it was great. So all those movies I experienced for the first time watching them on my portable DVD player in Mexico with all my Mexican cousins hanging around.
The Passion of the Christ is still really staid to me.
My mom could not watch that movie that it was hard for her to watch.
It's just just the fact that it was bootleg.
Maybe that's why she did enjoyed it. She's like me, Oh, this isn't right.
Caver, She's a queen talking.
It was.
She get not afraid to face episode, So just let it flow.
No one can do we quiet Calne is sounding Caroline.
Hey, y'all, it's Caroline Hobby from Get Real with Caroline Hobby. And here is a clip from this week's episode. And when I look at someone like you, and I was actually talking to Bobby Bones about this in the parking lot with you before you got here, it's like you are that artist who has gone so hard. Like when I think of you, I just think of like you just in it. You're just in this grind, this hustle, this passion, this going NonStop, like you have never stepped
off the break. You're always coming back figuring it out, Like you haven't quit, you haven't let up because you're so great and it's just a matter of time of the right pieces connecting. And I say this about a thousand horses too. I'm like, they haven't. They have a switchboard and their switchboard. It's it's like it's a great operating system. Just the wires been all crossed a little bit, and finally I feel like they're getting in the right places.
And like with you, it's like you are this incredible operating machine that is so impactful and is so authentically just like epic, Like it's just like you are one of the legendary singers. Like you are a legendary singer. It's just like your moment I feel like is coming right now because all of your backstory to get you to right here, which is this album. No one gets out alive. I'm like, and it's going to keep building. Obviously,
it's not like one one moment can't change everything. But like I'm like, you are here, like it is here, your operating system is aligned, you got your team in place. You signed with Big Loud Records and they're so known for like supporting the artist as the artist and not changing the artists.
Progressive. I mean, I have this album done before I signed with them, and they fully embraced what I was doing, and I was like, well that is those are rogues, Like that's a Maverick kind of team that's going to get behind you. But the wires crossing, like I had, I had a little bit to do with those wires being crossed in the beginning, just like even you know, we're trying to talk about how I even got here
and like how Tommy were told. Like I can't even tell you in a straight line how that first part happens.
It was just spaghetti.
Part of it might be just like my brain even protecting me from the beginning of that. But I don't take my foot off the gas because like this is the time now, That's what this whole album is about. It's like no one gets out alive. We have a finite amount of time to get it absolutely.
Why do you have that urgency?
I just I feel like I've been here long enough. I know now who I am. I believe in what I'm doing. I'm not doubling down. I'm not tripling down. This is the fourth album that I'm like I still am here, and I still feel like I should be here, and I have so much more like to do, and I certainly think I have plenty of time to do all sorts of things, but like I'm not. I don't want to take a break right now. I don't. I didn't want to take a break when the pandemic happened.
What did you do presented that you did?
Yes, what happened to you during the pandemic? How did that affect you mentally in your career?
I think, you know, I had a little bit of an identity crisis of like if I'm not performing, who am I in?
Like?
Right?
What I'm used to having like one hundred some dates a year and they were just canceled overnight. And I had relationships that were friendships, but also there was a work component. When that was removed, there was like.
What is the friendship now?
Right?
And is that where some of the loss with friendships came from?
Yeah, and realized who was really a friend and who was just kind of in it for the It's.
More I feel like it's it's more complicated than that, you know. I think that a lot of people needed to be they needed to feel valuable and I probably couldn't provide that in the way that you know, I used to be able to. So I don't I don't think that it's like, oh, you see who your friends are. It's not that simple to me. I think that there was a lot of pressure that all these relationships had
to sustain. That's so hard to untangle now. And that's one of the reasons that with this current project, like these songs are so personal because I wasn't collaborating the same way that I was on previous projects. I was writing not from the collective we. I was writing from the I'm going through this.
And so this is your you, Taylor Swift.
This I had to And you know, I also, like my best friend's dad died, and my uncle had an aneurism, and my husband's uncles passed away. Like we went through a lot of loss as a family. And there was just that beauty too of like cut this is getting older sucks and like you were confirmed with these inevitable losses that happen. You know, people went through addiction issues. I had friends getting divorced, like just the I feel you, the sheene, the like patina of all the like things that.
I thought were so perfect really wore off.
And I also started this podcast, which was so fun, but it was it was like I was throwing my life and focus into all these different guests and hearing about their experiences and like, oh, this person's got the best career ever, there are no problems in the world, and hearing about their loss and it was just it became like a really eye opening, sobering time for me.
Was that healing to hear about other artist losses that you had kind of idolized and thought it was such a That's what this podcast has done to me is this made me realize, oh, my god, everybody's got every chaos and trauma and so many hard knocks, and it's all about how you knowavigated yes, and you think.
About that career, what a storied career, that's exactly the one I want. And then you get into it a reveal to you just how incredibly heavy some of the things are in their life. And I think it seems so simple to just try and have empathy for everyone.
You don't know what anyone's going.
Through, but just to hear it bold faced in like detail, I think was it was there was a moment where like I was like, Okay, I'm sort of morphing into maybe not like this always happy, go lucky person, which I always would have characterized myself as before the pandemic, and I sort of embraced that. And even on the
last song of this record, we have a reprise. It's called another Sad Song, and it's like, sorry if this is another sad song that no one's going to hear, and they say that's the best way to kill a career, but like, I'm going to write what I feel.
There's a lot right there.
Four Things with Amy Brown, Sore Losers, Movie, Mike's Movie podcast, The Bobby Cast, Get Real with Caroline Hobby.
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