All right.
Well we started this once and then lunch Box had to crap himself.
Oh yeah, Scuba came in. Did you leave that in? Or did you just keep going?
No, you guys were talking shop. Why the heck would I leave that in?
I don't know. I have no idea how this pod works, but I do want to say thank you to the listeners for understanding my predicament on Monday and understanding that we had to jet, we had to get. We had to scat skit scat scootle do flea flot flow and yeah, how are you man?
Don't ever wrap again? Are we gonna learn about how the golf went?
Oh, you're gonna hear all about it. I mean my buddy calls me on or text me on Monday, Hey, can you make it to this golf course by one fifteen today? And I mean it's an hour drive, and I mean we are talking within minutes. I'm like, okay, let me if I figure this out. If we do the pod this long, if I go get my clubs, get on the road, there's no traffic. I don't have
time to eat lunch. I will just eat my freaking hand and I'll starve to death, but I should be able to be there by one nine, and he said, we can move it to one point thirty if you want. I said, that's perfect. And I said, but it looks like I mean, it's raining here, and he goes, oh, no, no rain here, and even if there is, it looks like it's about to blow over, so no big deal.
Ready for it to blow So I'm like, all right, So I left this building and it is raining, the roads are wet, there's rain coming down, and I got to run to the house and get the clubs and it's still raining enough. Are we going to start the show? Start the show? Was a tease? Start the show?
Since your first time doing radio? He started into hard tell of the story. I was gonna say that was roode of your friend to do that. But Dodd one time hit me up at noon and say can you play it one? So sometimes guys just get a golf course a time. Wives give them the day out and they got to play. And I said, DoD, we don't leave this factory till one. Sorry, times have changed. I'm out and.
I haven't got an invite to golf with Dodd since it was interesting though, but he knew he was coming to town for business, So why didn't he give me the heads up like a week ago.
Hey, I'm gonna be in town on Monday. We're gonna play golf. He just randomly texts me at you know, ten thirty in the morning, Hey, can you make it in three hours? I mean it was very very short notice.
When we used to play, all of us together and we were all friends, did we do tea times at the Muni?
No, we just showed up. Showed up.
That was badu is that's trouble. You never even know if that's why we waited in a line. It was always kind of annoying.
That is what's really hard about golf nowadays. There's a lot of courses around here. They won't accept a oneesome. If you're gonna play by yourself. They're like, oh, sorry, you can just show up and we'll try to squeeze you in. No, no, no, I would like to put my name down for a specific time because I don't want to show up at two o'clock and wait for an hour and a half. Like, if you put me on the t sheet, I can show up at two play it too, and get the hell out of there.
But you taught me this trick. You show up and say, oh, they had to cancel on Now, I always just make it for two, genie. Simple, so simple, except for there's one that it makes you pay in advance, and I'm like, I can't do that because I don't want to pay for two and then had to not get money back. Dude, that's what they made Angelina do when we went to our Muni. She paid two hundred dollars.
We're We're like, get how much they charged Baser to ride, oh, not even play? Twenty five bucks? Twenty five bucks. Yeah, dude, it's crazy.
If it wasn't easter and I'm being a good dude and I'm not cheating people anymore, and I'm not lying, cheating and stealing robbing from.
Peter to pay the pimp piper.
Yeah, since I'm not doing that anymore, I paid it, but I was not happy for thirteen holes here I had to pay for that.
Here's what's amazing is how much they charge you to ride in a golf cart. So ay, it tells you, hey, you need to get enough money and buy a golf cart or b you gotta start using your legs and walking the course. Because to play the course seventeen dollars. To ride in a golf cart, it's an extra twenty five. How is the golf cart more than the golf.
And I know we got to start the show, but we have had multiple issues of carts not being good. Remember when I went with you guys, My cart sucked. Yeah, Justin and Angelina's cart sucked. Really could barely go up the hills.
It means they're not charging them right or they're about to give out. Maybe they need some new carts. It's so frustrating.
Ray was a leaking something. Maybe you want to get under the hood. No, it was okay, it was ice all the beer they had in the back.
Ah, got it. That makes sense. Well, better start the show, man, because this golf is gonna take about all about thirty seconds to tell all right.
We're gonna do it live. Arnold, I've remembered he's at Coachella.
Oh that's what it was. He came back for a few days and then he said I'm headed out to Cali. Man yup.
So he is there at Coachella. He will report back. Apparently he saw Haley Bieber. He saw Bieber there as well.
Oh, Bieber looks rough, dude, he does.
He looks like he's on some drugs.
Multiple yep.
And so so Arnold will report back. He did enjoy the Who's Set tonight. Travis Travon No, it was, uh, Travis got Scott, Travis Scott. He saw Travis Scott. You know where he went to school, Uta Utsa. So we'll talk to Arnold about Coachella. Coachella is in Tom Springs.
I don't I don't know that.
Got a random text from South Beach. He goes, Palm Springs is playing the Bobby Bone Show, the Big Show, and I go Coachella and he goes, damn right, South Beach just randomly went to Coachella. We're forty years old.
Huh. I didn't realize Coachella was such a thing. I mean, is it really that? Is it that different than like acl or what's the one in Chicago, La La Palooza. Are they the exact same thing? Or is Coachella something special that one?
You want those pictures to get there so in thirty years your kids can see that you were hippie and cool and hot and all the girls get dressed up for it. Is it anything different than what's the Iheartfest in Austin. No, Iheartfest in Austin is probably better, but it's just that it thing to do if you're especially if you're California, which South Beach always thinks. He's a big California rich guy. You gotta go to it. It's just the CNB scene thing, got it.
I wonder, I wonder how that festival gets to be so cool, like Palm Springs. Oh, it's Palm Springs cool, the wealth.
And it's just it's a it's a I think it's the closest to Woodstock that in acl but it's also got the most influencers. And all those chicks on Instagram do their photos, it's like they don't they dress like that for the picture and then they put on sweatpants and a T shirt.
And I guess maybe I'm just not a music festival guy, and maybe I'm too old to be a music festival guy. What about iHeart You're going in two weeks? That's different. I love those festivals. How's a girl, country girl? Shake it for me? Shake it for me? Come on, we're doing a video. Shake that chake that no, no, no, no, chake that nna We're gonna do it live. We are the one, two three sore losers. What up, everybody? I
am lunchbox. I know the most about sports. I'll give you the sports facts, my sports opinions, because I'm pretty much a.
Sports genius, y'all. It's Sis and I'm from the North. I'm in Alpha Male. I live on the North side of Nashville with.
Baser, my wife. She was a Broadway girl.
We now live in the country, two point two acres, two point two kids of vanderbil clinic. Justin checks on him every day and I'll probably die of a heart attack when I'm seventy two and a half years old. Lunch over to you.
So, like I was saying about the golf, I run home, I run in the house, I changed throw the shorts on, throw a shirt on, you know, I get a hat, and I'm ready to go. And then I'll get in the car and then I'm like, oh, my golf shoes, gotta go back inside. It's raining, get them, throw them in the car, have my water, and I'm ready to go. And I type in the golf course and it says closed on Mondays. She I'm like, what, how is it closed?
On Monday, like today is Monday, and my buddy said, can you be at this golf course at this time to play? Maybe Gemini Google as an updated That's what I'm thinking. I'm thinking that's winter hours. It must be something wrong or this is a tournament and I am the fourth person in the crew. Maybe you know, the other people from his work backed out and that's why he's in town for business and they needed a fourth for their foursome for the scramble is.
If your story sucks, you just gave me the biggest light bulb. I have a hilarious story continue about golf and tournament.
So I'm like, all right, here I go. And I remember in the back of my head him saying, there's no rain down here. It's just if anything, it's gonna blow over. The whole hour drive, I had nothing but shoes the entire time, brutal the ground, the roads, there's puddles, it's just wet everywhere. Right, there's hydro planing. Not that I was hydro planing, but I was just like, there is no way we are playing golf.
Corey, your friend, it's clear down here. It's clear down here. It may be raining up in Nashville. But south of Nashville there's.
No rain, and if anything, it's just gonna blow over in about twenty minutes. Country Hills is a great golf course. I think Country Hills is north here.
Inside joke, Oh that's what.
Yeah, I got you. And so I said, all right, man, I just keep driving. I am twelve minutes from the course and it is still raining. Puddles everywhere, and I'm off the highway. I'm on the back country roads. Now most of these you have to. My wife calls me, she's like, how's it looking. Oh, she's about the weather.
She's got the weather on, she has the weather eight dollar going off.
And I said, there is no way we're playing golf today. She goes, what I said, he said, it wasn't raining down here, and I have seen nothing but rain the entire time I've been driving. She goes, yeah, but maybe it's not raining at the course. I said, I'm twelve minutes from the course and I just went through a two inch puddle of water. She's like, oh, well, maybe
at least you guys can grab lunch. I'm like, well, he already had lunch because he told me he was eating at a restaurant and then heading to the course. You want to get pork missiles. She says, well, at least you drove down there to see a buddy from college. I said, yeah, So I'm gonna drive down here, say hello, smack him on his ass, and then I'm gonna turn around and drive home. So what did you do today
after your Monday? Well, I've spent three and a half hours in the car driving down there, an hour and fifteen to hour fifteen back. I guess it's only two and a half. But whatever, that's cool. She goes, well, just have a positive attitude. I'm like, how could I have a positive attitude when the rain is coming down?
Does this tell me something good? I don't need to be positive this real life woman.
She's like, all right, and I said, so if we even play on edge story of the day me. I was like, you're gonna be on your own with the kids, dinner and all that tonight if we play, it's gonna be late. And she goes, okay, have fun. Let me know.
All right, Bye, that's a great wife you hit her with, gonna be late, take care of the kids on your own, see you, And she said bye, have fun.
Great wife. That's how we work. We worked that way, very in sync, very on the same page, like go out, enjoy your life, come back to the kids when you need to come back. So then I'm getting there. I'm a mile from the course, and guess what stopped raining? Still raining?
Oh?
Still raining. Oh I got the sound effect. Oh do you please? Still raining? Man? And I'm like, this is unbelievable. And then I see the hole. I see one hole and I'm like, oh, there it is. It's raining on that hole. Cool. And it's runs right along the road, you know what I mean, leading into the golf course. Go up, take a right, and I take a right in the parking lot. They're in a darn car in the parking lot, not a single one.
Oh my gosh. Oh it's a double whammy. They're closed and it's raining.
Yeah. And then I'm like, no, no, they were closed. They were closed. The golf course is closed.
Because there's always some loser that still goes to a golf course when it's raining.
Because they're that addicted to golf. Yeah.
So the fact there wasn't a car in the lot that there's it had been a holiday or like the site said not open.
Closed on Mondays. So then I'm thinking, did I read the text wrong? And he mean next Monday? Oh no, dude, you're the Bonehead story of the day.
I'm writing this for you right now and sending it to Mike Deed to get approved for bones And.
I pull out my phone and says no today, ah, And I'm like, well, what the heck? So I'm all right, let me text him. I'm like, hey, man, did you mean to send me to an abandoned golf course that's closed on Monday where it's pouring rain? And you said it wasn't raining.
This story comes you from Columbia, Tennessee.
And I hit send and I look out the window and he pulls up in a golf cart. What And I'm like, what is going on? So I opened the doors. Are you ready to play some golf? What is happening? And I said, no, it's raining because oh we may get a little wet, but we can still play. Wait, I thought it was closed. It is close. That's why I'm very confused too. I'm like, where did you get the golf cart? And then another the golf cart pulls up with two dudes on it. How's it going? Bros.
Father son, and I'm like, what is like, do you have a cover for your golf clubs? I was like no, and he goes, they make it a little wet. Then he goes, you've got the car. You haven't got new clubs in a while. And I said, well, I don't really want to get them wet. And he goes, oh, there's a reusable grocery bag here in the back. You can just use that. So I literally used a reusable Spurs San Antonio Spurs grocery bag to stick over my clubs to keep them dry.
You are private club material?
Yeah? No, no, the gold dower they open. So then I get in the golf guard and he's like, you're ready to do this? I'm like, what's raining? Kind of hard? Is homie playing this course illegally? And I said, I'm very confused because online it says closed. I said, I pull up here, there's not a car in the lot, and you guys come rolling up on two golf carts. Not to pull up And he says, oh, see my buddy over there, because they work for him, oil and
gas and renewable energy solar farms. Got that body like all money. He goes he's on the board, shesh of the Columbia Golf So he has a key, He's got two golf carts out, and we're playing the course. She So the golf course is closed on Mondays, but dude has a key to the cart barn. This story just got awesome. And I'm like, excuse me. He goes, Yeah, if you're on the board, you can play whenever you want sheesh. And I said, but it's still rain. He goes, yeah, hopefully it'll blow over.
It doesn't matter. You're playing the course solo. There's not a soul on the golf course.
No, we're doing next Monday. But why was the tea time important? It wasn't great point. Yeah, you could have gone anytime you.
Claw. Yeah, you left our listeners with a thirty nine minute pod.
That wasn't my doing. It was a rebel eyes. I didn't understand. So I'm like, are we really gonna play in the rain eos? Why not? Man? We got the course to ourselves. I'm down.
See rain golf sucks, but if it's just you out there, yeah.
And I was like all right, so, but instead they pull up under the little awning orning and we sit there for ten minutes, and after ten minutes the rain goes away. There's no more rain, and what what? What is that? Oh? Is that the sun? The ghost of Jordan's speed peeking out from behind the clouds. It's branched. Editor. He's gonna squeege ee the course. He no longer's on tour. And the one guy, the son of the dad that you know, is on the board. He's like, I already
drove the back nine. That's usually if we get water standing, that's where it's gonna be on the back nine. He goes, I saw standing, no standing water, so we're gonna be good to go. Boys.
What a dude, And I was like wow. He's like, it should have affect your ball flight a little bit. RPMs are gonna be altered a little bit. Uh velocity ray exit velocity launch angle. You'll be good, fine, decent wins south southeast.
So it's time to head to the number one t ray and play some golf and I'll tell you all about it. Right after this, you acted.
Like I was gonna have to filibuster with a story because your story sucked.
When your story was fine. It's not over, I know, right, that's the beauty of a tease. It's the beauty of setting you up and thinking one thing's gonna happen and boom, rope a dope bull.
We had a private golf course. Truckers know that watch out for the cow.
I wanted you to think that this was gonna turn out miserable and it was gonna be the worst day, and I just drove for nothing. That's the artist storytelling. That is how you hook them in. You bring them in and then you give them a plot twist. And we get to the first team and they say, so, boys, how much we playing for? Oh oh well, excuse me, what's your handicap? And I'm like, oh, I'm like eighteen. Justin's like forty, and oh okay, so to be you, I guess and me and we'll go together the father
son and there a team. You're in eighteen. Yeah, I actually agree to that. Yeah, I shoot about ninety threes, ninety two's ninety one. I'd say you're a sixteen. Well, according to eighteen birdies, I'm seventeen point four.
Oh all right, yeah, so that's how I do my handygap. I'm probably a twenty fiver and.
Steven he's a plus one, and I'm like, oh, and uh dad, TP he's a plus six. I'm like whoa. And Larry he's about a plus ten fourteen in there. So it's gonna be TP and Larry versus me and Steven. Okay, nobody I know, roll on, yeah, And I step up on that first tea box and whack right down the middle. And they said, Okay, this is some bull crap. You ain't no eight You ain't no eighteen.
That's not when you determine the handicap. It's all about close distance. I'll hang up and listen.
I think I bog you. The first hole, all right, cool, Second hole par, third hole par. And the guy goes, man, I know you ain't never been down to Columbia before, but you're about to get a Columbia cussout. What though? It goes you both crab me on that handicap, aren't you?
Like?
No? Man? You just wait, it'll come.
I mean you could have given im proof about the twenty four birdies.
App I know they weren't serious. They were just being funny, really funny dude.
Well, I mean if they would have asked me, what do I give my handicap. I only play thirteen.
Holes, dude, Do you know how fun it is to drive up to a tea box and not worry about anybody else and if you hit a ball of the rider left not having to yell four because there's no one on the golf course.
Were you guys doing mulligans or.
No Molly's scouts on? No mollys man. We were playing straight golf, playing a you know, skins game. So I got a stroke ahole because I'm a you know, eighteen handicap pretty much, and it was so fun, and we hit the first nine beautiful rain came a little bit little drizzle on whole number eight, then it cleared up and didn't have another cloud for the rest of the day.
Does it dry quick where you go on short shots and your chips and stuff.
There wasn't a lot of mud splat like we did. We did play where you could move your ball if you were in something, but there was really not a spot on the course that was bad.
It's called pick and Place, Pick and Place. Sorry to be the PGA Tour here.
Sorry, I didn't realize that was the name, and uh Nance always tells us about it.
Now now now, Peter. This is a pick and place day because of the rain, so they will be able to pick up their ball, clean it off, and place it back down in the spot.
Now over to ten. That's where we went to number two. And this is the hard part. We're making the turn and your boy hadn't had anything to eat. You gotta get a porky. The course is closed, Lizzie, there's nothing to get. Yeah, can't get He was like, I can't even get in there. He goes, I'm sorry. I couldn't get beers out of the concession. You know we're closed today. Oh so you guys were dry? Huh yeah, yeah.
See that's the thing golf. You're always banking on the clubhouse.
Always banking. So I am so hungry.
Because there you're gonna get teased at if you need emergency balls. You got a pork missile, gatorade, a couple ultras.
And I'm just depressed because I am so hungry my stomach. I have this hunger pains because I haven't eaten since nine thirty in the morning. That was my last snack. That was a break during the big show, and so I'm just gonna have to tough it out. For the next nine holes and then I'm gonna have to find the nearest drive through, get me something to eat, and get out of there. And so we play. We're playing,
and then man, I felt bad. This is where Larry got a call on whole eleven and it was a business call and it's some dude and he's talking to him and he's like, so, what's making you change your mind? And I can't hear what the guy is saying. He goes, He's like, sir, He goes, sir, h. We've been working on this for the last five months. We were gonna wrap this up next week. He's like, is there any way I can sit down with you and we can go over this again? And and this Larry doesn't even
get to like hole eleven. He's just sitting there on the phone. He doesn't even get to play. Oh one of those Angelina and she's closing business deals.
When we're out at the bar on a Saturday.
And then at one point I heard I was like, we were number twelve was a part three? And I said, Hey, Steven, how what's the distance? And I hear this old MANO what what? He goes, who's this Larry's Bluetooth had switched over to the music player, and I was talking to the old man. This business deal has gone south. The deal did not get closed in Colombia. And I said, Larry, Larry, your bluetooth, it's picking up the it switched over. He's like, oh, oh cook, Hey, are you still there?
Man?
He's like yeah, but yeah, I'm at the office, just finishing up some things.
What's up, man? He was like, are you sure you want to cancel this? After we've been doing all this work and research for five years? Five months? He's like, I really hate to hear that you don't want to go through with this deal after five months all this and I'm like, oh my god, Oh my god.
Usually it's just golf games falling apart on the back nine.
And I'm just like, this is this is not good. I feel so bad, Like I'm like I shouldn't be witnessing this.
I'm gonna slice to the right make Larry feel a little bit better about the business deal gone south.
And you know we're playing skins. We're playing for money, so now I don't want to win. I'm like this, dude, oh you.
Take him for more money. After the business deal falls through.
And that's the thing. And so he he gets this new you know, And I don't know if he's on commission or how it works. I would assume there's some kind of commission aspect to his job. Is this the dad? Now this is the sun?
Okay, because I'm envisioning this guy's like seventy.
No, no, oh, the dad is like seventy okay, but the son is probably thirty five. Got it, got three kids, a wife, all that, the perfect Tennessee life. And so then he finishes up whole eleven. Why we're teeing off on twelve? Oh? Did he finished on thirteen? Oh? No, No, he had to just catch up to us, got it? And then twelve I had to pee, man, I had to pee, and so I go behind a tree, beauty. Guess what, There's no one out there, So it doesn't matter what tree I go behind.
You don't have to watch for the women, kids, get called a predator, have to put yourself on a website, don't have to worry about the cart girls seeing the dog out.
You know what I mean? None of that? You got bazer? What are you guys doing? We're peeing and we're trying to do it real quick.
So some other guy doesn't report us, and then Justin comes out and he goes, I'm sorry, I have a microscopic penis. Okay, Justin Hilariously, guys, we're just trying to go to the bathroom before this guy that cuts through is gonna see us.
So I go behind the tree and I go to unbuckle my shorts. And here's the problem. My golf shorts are fifteen years old. They used to be black. They are almost faded to gray. Yeah, we got to get you some new gear. And as I go to unbutton them, the button that was hanging on by a string there. It goes, oh boy, So now I have no button on my shorts. You're gonna have to pull it off. I don't know how, though. Luckily I have a belt on, so I'm able to do the belt a little bit tighter,
so you can't even notice that my button's gone. Yeh, you're good. But the only problems when you have no button it keeps unzipping. Yeah. So we're sitting there and we get on the twelfth green. No one notices, and we're packing up our stuff and I look up and here comes a jeep Grand Cherokee driving on the golf course. Wow, oh, sounds like there's a marshal of the course. He didn't get the memo. He comes down the cart path, there's
a creek. The grand Cherokee drives over the bridge of the creek, drives down the cart path and there's an exit into a neighborhood behind the golf course. Drives right down it out into the neighborhood, cut some corners on your way commute home. And I looked at them, I said, hey, does that save like an hour here in Columbia that he can just cut through the golf course, Like, I mean, maybe say some ten seconds to go around the block.
But and they're like, I don't know who that was, But golly, I didn't know they just drive on the golf course. Who knew that a grand Cherokee could fit on the cart path. Yeah, it'd be tough. And it was just a we're sitting there, you know, we're the only ones on the golf course. All of a sudden you see a grand Cherokee coming down. I'm like, oh man, we're busted trouble. I thought we were in trouble. I was like, damn it, this dude told me we could play because he had a key to the carpet.
No, it's just Nick nine to five coming on home. Wife called him, going home to see the wife and kids. He just driving through the golf course instead of going around the block.
Whatever. Cool. So we finish up the round, dude, amazing, who won? It was a dead heat, nine skins to nine skins. We're going to a nineteenth now they they no, no, no, actually no, wrong, wrong, sorry. On number seventeen, I made the par putt. We were two and one, two holes up with one to play. So they said they wanted to do double or nothing on eighteen, I said, deal.
Why would you agree to that when you're guaranteed to win?
Why would you not want more money? Oh? Double or nothing. I'm looking at forty dollars in my pocket on a free round of golf at a private course that we we had to ourselves.
I'm in honey, I'm coming home late with extra money though.
Yeah, And so I step up on the tea box way right, All right, it's a par five steven steps up, way right. Who's that your partner? Yeah, that's my partner.
Took me eighteen holes.
Learn your partner, But go Larry right down the middle, JP J T TP way right. So we're all in the right. And what do you know, Larry pars it, I boge it. They win the whole squad dooche? We win no money?
And what you realize with skins game and also playing your buddies a lot of times ends in a tie.
The game of golf is weird.
It's basketball blowout.
Yeah, Rizzl's got blown out again, NBA.
You got blowouts where golf is usually pretty tight. And especially with the way you guys played it was what'd you play? What's a called skins?
Skins?
And then but you also played scrabble what is it called? No?
You only you played your ball. It's just a score on the hole. Whoever had the you know, if one person got a par and.
With the better one, yes, yeah, So because of that scoring, it's gonna be pretty tight.
Pretty tight. No one's gonna lose a significant amount of money because we're all not very even. But one hole you can have a good hole, and if me giving it a stroke every hole made it very even. The teams were perfectly matched. Dang, you were given a stroke every hole. Bro TP was a six plus six golfer. That's what I'm saying. That's crazy. They must have been real good. Yeah, that's fun.
I mean that's different than what I was dealing with. I did five hours.
And thirteen holes. Well, Larry played a little bit of a different game, twenty four hours apart. I mean, Larry was a little bit better than me. So he got strokes on certain holes, but not every.
Hole a par three, oh strokes right like par five though, got a stroke.
Things like that. So it was a great day. And I'm like, hey, man, take off our hats, thanks man, thanks for having me. This was I mean, I don't know how we got this private course, but it turned I mean, what a beautiful day. Guys like we had no rain, nothing, and they're like, yeah, man, cool man, all right. They're like, hey, you got ton of grass, something to eat. I'm like, you know what, I'm starving. Let's go eat. Let's talk business.
So businessman making business deals, trying to gag down money.
We go to downtown Columbia and I'll tell you what happened right after this.
Oh Wendy's, how can I take your order?
No, no, Wendy's. Man, I was gonna have to stop at a Wendy's or a Dairy Queen, or a McDonald's or a mcbangor whatever it was. But they invited me to go eat. Welcome to Goodburger, Home of the good Burger. How gonna take your order? I'm like, yeah, man, I'm hungry. I need to eat. So we go. So, man, how's your sex life? Larry? So we sit down. We're just sitting there chilling and looking around. They come get our orders. I'll take a water, man, I'll just take a water.
I'm so thirsty. Do you want apps? Yeah? I want apps, man, I need some apps. Like give me the buffalo chicken dick, give me some shrimp. We know how you order.
It's impatient and you name five things at the exact same time.
Well, this dude had I haven't eaten since nine thirty. It is now five thirty. We already heard the backstory.
Okay, we've started with the backstory actually since nine thirty the previous morning.
Yeah, and it comes and I am just like a freaking just crushing the buffalo chicken dip and they're like, can we have some? I said yeah, And I said I'm gonna this bones not feeding you guys up in Nashville. I said, I'm gonna like one guy TP. He scoops it on his plate and is just eating it like casually. And I was like, I'm not scooping it on a plate. I'm just gonna trust you guys not to double dip. I'm going I'm going just straight from the bowl. I
ain't got time. I probably ate ninety percent of the buffalo chicken dip.
Yeah, and TP has probably been scolded at home before, got a strict wife.
Yeah, eating like that, Come on, and then the shrimp never came that. We never got the shrimp, so don't know what happened to that, if we canceled that or whatever. Then I went with the pork chop, and it took forever for the pork shop to get out there. I mean it took forever. I mean I am just like, come on, got the pork chop, got the baked sweet potato, and got the soup of the day, which is like some chicken something.
You never wanted to be too quick, but you never wanted to take the forty five minutes.
Especially when you got to drive an hour home, like you're already tired.
I mean, you pretty much got home, had to go to bed and get up for the big show.
Correct shhh, that's basically what happened. And then in the middle of dinner, I'm like, man, I gotta I gotta go pee. I gotta go pee. So where's the bathroom. I'll back there on the left, all right, So get up, go to the bathroom. And this is you know, my my fifteen year old shorts. The button's gone, he lost in the fourteen yep. And I go and I go peete, and then I go to zip up. Zipper breaks off.
You're down to the belt and dong. You're basically wearing a belt, thog, dude.
So there's no way to zip up my short Hey man, are you having money trouble? Gibbles? All right, let me get this dinner. So there's no way to zip up my shorts. So my shorts are unbuttoned and unzipped. Dude, dude, you look like a hobo. And I'm at a restaurant like a steakhouls, and I am like, what do I do? The Home of the ninety six er. We are only halfway through dinner, and I've got to be in this restaurant with no zipper. And no button exposed. Now to
wrap your raincoat around your waist. So I don't have a raincoat, man, I didn't have a rain So I sit there and I try to fold the shorts over as far as I can, and I pull the belt as tight as I can, but you can still see the zipper is not zipped. Man, goach.
I've seen this look and it is by hoboes on Broadway who have been through it.
And I'm just like, people are gonna be like yo, man, like what are you doing? Dude?
If they get a wrong angle, they are gonna see your Prince Albert.
They are gonna see the goods because the zipper is gone. I mean, what are the odds that these fifteen year old shorts that the button and the zipper are both gonna go down in the same day.
Dude, you're about to be naked. So I'm in the bathroom. I mean I'm in the bathroom for way longer than it should be for just being because I'm trying to figure out to manipulate this. So I untucked the shirt and I'm trying to stretch it to make it longer. You gotta go that route. It only goes halfway down, the zipper man half way down. There's nothing you can do. So I'm just like, you know what, I can't just
stay in here all night. So I just grin and Barrett and walk back to the table and try to like, as I'm walking, I keep my hands kind of in front of me. Yeah.
Up in Nashville we do some weird dress wise.
This is actually in style now, you know, hanging out and then.
You know Nashville cowboy, it's the new thing sweeping the nation.
Guys, what do you get You guys aren't gen z ears all these kids when their hanging out.
So then we just we finished dinner and I don't even mention it. I don't even mention it to the guys. I don't mention that I have no button. I don't mention that I have no zipper. Dude. I do not want to make this very uncomfortable for them. So we just talk chat it up. Then we go outside the restaurant, say our goodbyes, and I get back in the car and I drive the hour home. And the best part of it was Steven said, Hey, guys, don't worry about it. This is on the company tonight. That's what I'm.
Talking about the bill that's Billy style, free golf, free dinner, no button, no zipper, no problem.
And that was my golfing adventure.
That was a hole in one.
I get home, the kids are in bed. It's eight twenty or eight eighteen, and I hear Dad Dade, and I go downstairs and they're in the middle of their last story and they say, Dad, Dad, did you make any hole in ones? No? No I didn't, Dad, Dad. Did you make any hole in twos? No? No, No, I didn't. Birdy on three? No, par dad, Dad. Did you make any hole in three? No? No, Dad, Dad? Did you make any holes in four? Yeah? And he
holes in five? Yeah? Yeah, and he holes in six yeah, and he holes in seven yeah.
Did you guys do a snowman Max?
No? But the most I got was seven. Then my kids said, did you hit it in eight? And I was like, no, just seven. And then baby box three, Dada, Dada, did you hit something in the water.
Yeah, they'll learn about the snowman with Uncle Justin and Susan.
And I said, no, no in the water today. Boys, They're like, awesome, Dad. Did you get a hole in ten? Nope? Okay, then we finished the last story. She said good night, and I showed my wife my pants and she goes, oh my gosh. She goes, you're so embarrassing. We got to get you to Dick today, so we need to get down there and buy some new shorts. Man. That's it. Wow. That was the golf adventure. Man. Wow. And with that, we'll take a break. Now let me hear your hilarious story.
It pales in comparison, but let me tell it. So Baser wants.
To go to a course.
And you know I always say we do brunch, we'll do food and drinks.
Yeah, so this one we just said, hey.
We're swinging by it. We were at the mall girl stuff. I have no idea what we were doing. And she goes, let's swing by get one drink. I said, cool, I've never checked out this clubhouse. Why not I've already diffuse, Yeah, I've already gone to one clubhouse and not played. And I sit there with my wife and I feel like a why not go on? We go to another clubhouse, sit there and feel like a But so we go up there and at the very top there's no no sound.
There's five TVs, not one of them's on. Okay, okay, and so there we are.
We order from the lady.
She's in her forties, I would say, doing a great service serving gentlemen beers and doing this, doing that. It was a tournament, so there's stuff going on. Okay, a lot of action. Yes, So as we were there, there's a guy coming in. Oh, par three, we got to turn it back into a par four. Oh hey, hey March, Hey, Sarah, hey March. The times in the past i've actually gone up there, not with my wife, but it's been a
vibrant staff. TV's are bang and it's good. They got a golden tea, so usually you know they got a little bit going on.
You go up there.
This time it's crickets and then it's confusion because the tournament ended and the lady charges us and she swipes our cards, takes our cards, and me and my wife are just standing there.
And we're both look at each other.
We don't have our drinks, and the lady's now behind the bar, and both of our drinks are just sitting over there on the other side of the like behind the counter where you can't reach I can't reach them. A white clawn and ultra and we're just sitting there.
The lady's guy comes around. He apparently works there. They give each other a kiss. They're just chilling. Love that.
Hey, love so, and I'm in a great mood. I believe it was a Friday. I'm in no rush. I'll wait there all day. I'm not gonna say, hey, man, you didn't give us our drinks. But you charge this awkwardly and actually I don't even know if you've swiped my card. Did you hit me? Because I never got a tip. Usually everybody wants a tip. So we're still standing there a couple minutes, three minutes, four minutes, lady gets another kiss.
Now she's turning on the TVs. Okay, turning on the TVs.
We're still sitting there. No drinks, no drinks, no drinks. The lady turns the Players Championship on the week after the Masters, So what does that tell you?
That's old?
And these idiots at the there was a couple people of the staff start watching the TV. They're watching a replay of the Players Championship from three years ago, and they don't realize it, and I go, yeah, they always play the Players right after the Masters. Man, this is crazy. Nobody gets the joke because they all think it's live. Me and Baz are still standing there waiting for our drinks.
The lady has gone on to do other things. She's taking the dishwasher out, wiping the counters off, and at this point, I've been show them for five minutes and she still hasn't realized she didn't give us our drinks. I'm like, you know what, why not be brass sh It's America say something. I go, excuse me, I'm so confused. Is this like a black Mirror episode? You never handed
us our drinks? And she goes, what And she looks back and goes, huh, I have never done that in my ten year career, not giving a good person their drinks.
And she turns around and grabs.
Them and hands them to us, and we sit there and watch a recorded episode of the Players Championship. It was Deshambo. Deshambo took it, guys, Oh, it might have been Rory. It actually was Fouler from like ten years ago. Wow, and he doesn't even play on the tour anymore. And I go, Baser, we better be drinking this in about two seconds because what just happened, And I will never be back. And what happened to the gen z that
was up here a couple of weeks ago? There was just slanging drinks at you that HadAM faster before you can even pull your wallet out.
Huh first for everything? Hey, you thought you were on boiling points? Remember that on MGB they sit there and mess with you until you blow up in my own candid camera, like what is happening? And bays are so polite.
I think she would have sat there for an hour and not said anything me five to ten minute wind, I was like, I gotta say something, What the hell's going on?
Five to ten minutes? How about five to ten seconds?
Dude? I was in a rare, courteous mood and it was just like it. It was one for the record books, man, A course that you don't have to pay for, and a recorded episode of the players with drinkless drinks.
Hallelujah. Want a time on the course baby, and golf is amazing. It is. I'm gonna read one email before we go home. Yeah yeah, and it's someone they want to set the record straight, is how they put it, because I guess there's rumors going around as something that they did or they happened, but they want to set the record straight. And here we go. Oh you lost the you lost that clip. It has been recorded over. Okay,
I guess I can still read it. Here we go. Coaches, you were talking about thunder and lightning at the beginning of the pod the other day, and I got excited that you got half the guys right. Original thunder and lightning was Will Clark and Rafayel palm Merrow at Mississippi State put some respect on it. Also, I guess I have to tell the real story if it keeps coming up.
I was dancing around cheese fully clothed, and a couple of coaches put dollar bills in my shirt at the convention, so then naturally the shirt came unbuttoned, but never came completely off. Then when security had enough of the show, they asked me to button it up, and I did, no problem. I wasn't asked to leave or escort it out until after the open bar happy hour, which was amazing, was closed and they started kicking everyone out from the group because they were tired of sore losers nation, and
I just happened to be the first one asked to leave. Also, Buddy glass is the worst. Sincerely your friend, Taylor Callaway. Yep, thank you. Record has been set straight there it is. Ah, you guys have a good Wednesday. Man, I gotta head down to Di's. I gotta get some new golf shorts. Yeah. I don't know what I'm gonna do. But it's weird because I had a picture on my timeline, let me
on my Facebook timeline of those shorts. They popped up and it was me playing golf with my buddy Oscar down in Austin, and I said, dude, can you believe that I still wear these shorts? And I'm trying to see when I sent him this text there it is Nope, that was when December fourth, I mean when did I send?
I mean, come on, you're gonna be amazed. They make some comfy shorts, now.
Do they. I mean, I have not put on a new pair of golf shorts. I'm telling you, in fifteen years.
That's actually one of the things that hasn't changed. They probably still look the exact same. There's no new form of aerodynamics or mesh. It's I'd swear there's the same exact material as it was.
Yeah, and I don't even know how much golf shorts cost now, because I haven't bought them in so long, I haven't even looked.
You want to know an outside dark horse.
Yeah, Justin went to Walmart.
He got a golf shirt and golf shorts for thirty five bucks. Really, and he also got titleist balls for that same thirty five amount. The person forgot to ring up the titleist balls.
That's even better, Ray, if I could be so fortunate here it is, I said twenty sixteen, we've played golf in Austin. I still wear these shorts today. There's it's so faded now that they look gray, and they're faded like your golf game because you don't play anymore. And that was on August April twenty nine, twenty twenty four, So that has been a year and I'd still won those same shorts. So you have friends that have given up on the game. Yeah, Oscar has totally given up, dude,
totally given up. He was obsessed for about three years. He played like three times a week. Business calls, business meetings were always on the golf course. Now he don't even know what a golf club looks like. Dude.
Yeah, I think Billy still plays the exact same amount Danny fort laudreal. Dany plays a little bit more now that he lives in Florida, But Mike Miller lives in a mountain area, Vail, and I don't think there's a lot of time to golf, so I believe he doesn't even play golf anymore. And he was awesome. He was the best of the great Viller was the best.
He taught me a lot of stuff. We would go play at Bluebonnet. That's amazing. I'm gonna tell you what chess Day's dad phenomenal golfer, phenomenal. A couple months ago. I believe he's sixty nine or seventy. He shot his age. She shot his age. Dude, that's unbelievable. And I do want to say shout out to Bucky Godbolt because that
man is the mayor of Austin. And I said, hey, Bucky, I need a tea time next Friday with for Garrett, Greg and Jacob, and Bucky Godbolt said, I got your son, I got you And he got me a tea time next Friday.
Speaking of the past, Bucky Gollbolt, Bucky god Bolt from our past, remember coach. Yes, we had a falling out over the merchandise.
That said coach.
He actually gave us that name coach because they used to say it at the Indianapolis Colts. They always called each other coach. We started doing that at the old studios. Then there was a falling out. He moved, he was mad at us for the merch I just texted him today, really because I was clean out voicemails and he had left me a voicemail and I go, hey, Coach, just want to let you know Green Cleaners closed. It was his favorite cleaning place, Dry cleaning. They changed over like
Tide Corporate. Oh, and he goes, I still have a jacket there, it's blue in color, waist length.
Pick it up for me.
I said, perfect. Your interview with Edgar and James was great. I'm unfamiliar with your work And he said, thanks, Coach, I'm unfamiliar with your work. Is my book title coming out in January? And I said, miss your man and he concluded with miss my buddies in Nashville. Damn, you guys are fun. We're friends again. We're friends again. Ray. That was an inspirational episode.
That brought tears in my eyes, that you guys reconnected like that. That's that's amazing. Did should I play his voicemail? Do you have it?
I'd saved it because it was so funny.
Please let me hear it.
Like this guy's the coolest guy ever.
I love that he left you a voicemail. Who knew?
Well, it's from years ago. Nobody does that anymore.
I still leave voicemails. I don't know about you. I want people to hear my voice. Got it, man, two thousand and fifteen. That is a what date?
December twenty first, twenty fifteen.
Okay, nine years ago, nine years four months? See it? Man? I can't hear it. That's Amy. I don't want to hear Amy. Can you turn it up? There? We go?
Ohch I'm driving to Michigan through Indiana, and I stopped at this little casino that I usually hit when I lived here, and I do the same thing. I put two hundred bucks in my pocket and I go to the high Limit room and I play that Wheel of Fortune high Limit that's twenty five dollars a spin. So I got four spins on the first hundred nothing and on my second set of spins on the second hundred twenty five got paid, got back in the car about
nine minutes. About nine minutes worth of work in the door when Dip paid out the door under ten minutes. That's the way to roll, right there, Coach twenty five hundred fans. All right, I'll see you. Hope you're having a good time in the holiday see you.
That's great, man, I almost forgot what his voice sounded like. Man, I almost forgot. That is beauty. That was beauty. Minutes of work he cleared five hundred. That's what I'm talking about. That is what I'm talking about. Man, Hey, we got it. That that's just yeah, that's hey.