SORE LOSERS: Why Does Lunchbox Regret Having Kids?

Yeah, you're supposed to start it, man, you said before we went on, I got a story about the original coach, which means that is a block material.

I'm not the host.

Uh, yeah you are.

You got to kick it to me as the co host. Uh, over to you, right start the show. Yeah, we should start the show and then we'll get to that. I'm so confused. What are you confused by? There's an intro to a show. There's a beginning, of middle, and an end.

Yeah, it's like the introduction, the body and then the conclusion. Well then what you have to do when you wrote a paper?

And then also that I oh, yes.

All.

At the same time, I felt bad then for making fun of you for the Afroman story because it is tough to determine because you asked me before we started, is it a block? And I said yes, and on reconsidering it, maybe it's like B So then I all of a sudden felt all the pressure of an a block story. So now I understand Afroman. You just don't know if it's gonna hit.

No, you really don't, Like I have no idea what I think when I see something, and I'm like, that is so funny. And then I bring it in and you have and your eyes show me that you have no idea what I'm talking about. I feel like, as I'm telling the Afroman's story, I was like, this is just losing steam. I started losing steam. I started losing

All right, let's get it started.

Yeah, let's do it live, man, Arnold, are you running? Yep?

Gout my pants down?

Run it a party, No, Arnold, that's later. That is later on Broadway. Man, you and Abby do your thing there. We don't do that in the studio. Spring Break is best served in Dashville. It's a dish, best serf hot Hey, Arnold, spring break has been over for like three weeks, man, so he's turned to break. Whenever I do spring.

Break, I break.

Can I tell you that teachers get off pretty early. There's a guy that teaches at Vanderbilt. He is His daughter is in my oldest kid's class, so first grade. They're in the state, and I was talking to him. He teaches two classes per semester.

One of those gender classes.

I don't know what he teaches, but he was just telling me that he's a professor at Vanderbilt and his last day of teaching is like April eighteenth. I'm like, wow, I really felt like college went into the middle of May back in the day. Maybe not, maybe they get out before regular school gets out. But he's already almost done with his school year and then he's off for four months.

It's pretty baller, but so advanced degree. He probably went to school for twelve years.

That is true. He did go get his something, and he teaches it Vanderbilt, and he does do research during the summer. But he is gonna go to Canada for like a month with the family.

Just research my backyard drinking a beer with birds flying by. Test it again tomorrow my theory.

Yeah, I'm gonna research if I drink this whole picture of Margarita's while be smashed or just buzzed.

Just grab my wife's knockers. Gonna do it again tomorrow, test the theorem that she gets mad at me. We'll check back tomorrow.

I'm gonna smack my wife, but at seven am, see if that gets here in the mood. If not, we'll try at eight am. Turn back with me tomorrow.

I'm gonna walk down Broadway and get slobber knockered and count how many people I see.

Try it again tomorrow.

I mean, that's the research.

I mean, what research is.

I'm gonna go to the movies with my family on tomorrow and we're gonna see how many people are in the theater at three pm. And then we're gonna go to a movie the next day at six pm, and we're going to count the difference. I bet there's more of the six pm. That's my hypothesis. Check back with me in three days. That just reminded me. I did a communication studies class in college.

Definitely a rocket was in my group and we had to go to Walmart and count people in certain departments. Really might not be politically correct nowadays.

Why what's wrong with counting people?

We would also count how many people went in the dressing rooms and then how many people just didn't even try on clothes.

Is there something wrong with that? Uh?

I don't know if they're doing any research projects in near the fitting rooms of department stores in today's day and age.

Yeah, that may look a little weird, like the girl dressing room. Why do you want to know creep?

The girl at one point was positioned in front of the dude's fitting rooms and she was counting how many of them and how long they were in the fitting rooms for huh, just because we didn't have enough people to go around. So like I was almost in the kids section. I think, Okay, Like.

How wrong was that?

No, that's very wrong.

I'm like watching kids play with toys. They forty percent of the kids that touched the toy bought it. Like, what a stupid research project.

That is pretty stupid.

But love the group.

I was in good group and that oh I told you it was a rocket in there. And also as in.

What does a rocket mean?

Hatty?

I've never heard a hotty called a rocket.

Neither here nor there.

But the point of the story, even better point than that, was I was trying to hit on her, you know, I think I almost put her in my group, like picked her. Yeah, and I was like, hey, let's get a couple other people to team up. Well a week later after the group, but I didn't know if she had a boyfriend. But I'm like, you know, trying to holler at her. I'm selling my TV and her dude and her come over to my apartment and I'm selling

Huh.

Yeah, I know the ad said for rent, but I was just kidding. I know, you're taking the TV now and it looks like I just have an empty dresser. That's actually the case getting bigger TV. I mean it was like a top of the line TV, so obviously I was selling it for money troubles. So that was pretty much the end of the line with that one.

Yeah, that group project didn't work out, and nothing about it worked out.

Huh what did that teacher think that we were gonna get some that's your research project data?

I mean, I don't know what you're researching, but I mean, I'm sure there was some kind of topic you were doing where you guys got Walmart and probably someone else in your group got Target or Kmart or something like that, or Bells or Mervin's. Did you ever have Mervins? I don't know. Were you the only group that had to go to Walmart or everybody had to go to Walmart.

Everybody went to different stores. Okay, yeah, and we had chose that one. And dude in San Marcus, Texas, we were stalking, for lack of a better word than aisles. I'm going to go to the kids section. I'll see in a second, Sarah you go into the guy's fitting rooms. And I think is Thearah the rocket? Yeah, and I almost want to say that. They said, Hey, wait a minute, that's my sister's name. She was at that school. Were you hitting on my sister?

Never got her last name?

Okay, I think they said, hey, just creepy factor. We don't want to put a guy near the girls dressing room. But we didn't think it was wrong to have a girl near the guy's dressing room, so they said, but.

They didn't think it was creepy to put a guy in the kids section.

You had to go to every department. Okay, I was just standing in the kids section. Huh So random? Hell communication studies.

Baby, man, that's a weird one man.

What of research project that was?

That is interesting? So what'd you find out? What was your final analysis?

All it was was data from Walmart.

How people that tries to we found out that if somebody tries something on there's a chance that it's a way better chance that they're gonna buy it than if and then we would follow them to see that they went to the cash register. Dude, that would not fly in twenty twenty six.

Now, that'd be a little weird. They'd pull out their phone. They'd go live on TikTok and be like, oh my gosh, this guy's following me through Walmart. This guy's followed me through Walmart. Get away from me, creep. That's what they would do.

Once the kid would get out the basketball and dribble it, I'd follow him to his parents, follow him to the cash register and.

Would you have your clipboard and be like, excuse me, ma'am, are you gonna buy that basketball? Are you gonna return the basketball? Or are you just letting your kid have it? And then you're not gonna pay for it.

We had stop watches and went dom it because we didn't want to look creepy with notepads. Were like, hey, we can reconvene and then take our notes, but let's not carry around notepads for that reason. But this is taken away from the a block.

Oh yeah, it is taken away from a block. We better start the show man. We got sidetracked. We're gonna do it live. We Oh the what duoe?

Dude?

So users, what up? Everybody? I am lunchbox. I know the most about sports, So I gave you the sports facts, my sports opinions because I'm pretty much a sports.

Genius, y'all, it says. And I'm from the north. I'm an alpha male. I live on the North side of Nashville, baser in the country. My wife two point three through through three three acres nice and mode appreciated boys. See you in a week and fertilized a little bit of furt.

In that dirt. Well done.

I knew where you were going.

We're on the same page today, folks.

And we got a voicemail. That's foreshadowing. That's men, man. Let me tell you.

Can I get to the a blog?

Oh yeah, go ahead. Well you usually say over to you and then I say back to you, but you didn't do that. Sorry.

Talked to coach coach to refresh you, guys memories. He came up with the word coach at Indianapolis Colts camp and he worked for the team and all they do is call each other coach.

So he brought it to the rad station because he had a radio show.

Yeah, and we all just started calling each other coach, and then we created a merch line and it said coach on it and he got mad as for that and we never talked since as he's still with the Colts, he's not. They let him go sadly. Oh but I did save a voicemail his because it's the funniest voicemail of all time.

Just to refresh you guys memory.

Yeah, let's hear it. Please, here we go. Should we say his name? We can't hear it, dude, you gotta put it on speaker, bro No jump.

Driving to Michigan through Indiana, and I stopped at this little casino that I usually hit when I lived here, and I do.

The same thing.

I put two hundred bucks in my pocket and I go to the High Limit room and I play that Wheel of Fortune high Limit that's twenty five dollars a spin. So I got four spins on the first hundred nothing and on my second set of spins on the second hundred, I hit the twenty five hundred. Got paid. Jump back in the car about nine minutes about nine minutes of the work in the door when dip paid out the

Hope you're having a good time and the holiday.

See, I love this.

Still have a voicemail. I love that you still have that voicemail.

Whatever I've been a bad mood. I listened to that the good old days.

That is fantastic. The person that deletes emails, text messages, deletes everything, you absolutely kept a banger of a voicemail.

You ate me a funny voicemail that's getting kept. Or you're a family member that I think may die.

Well, right, that got morbid. That does get morbid, dude.

But anyways, so I had hit him up and just just talking, just small talking.

Was just saying, hey, how you doing. Man?

Sometimes I'll just think, man, why did I lose touch with that person? Boom hit off with a text.

That's really good to you. That's brave man.

And everything was fine with him.

He's doing great, except for he said, colts win a different direction. Maybe when Ursa passed, Oh no, daughters took over. It wasn't that it was they were just doing budget cuts.

Who knows.

So now he lives in the desert in Arizona. He lives in Nevada. Whoa he works for the Raiders.

Chris Angel mind freak.

Maybe And he says he plays poker. He's semi retired.

Well, here's the problem. A lot of the poker rooms in Vegas are going bye bye. They've been getting rid of the poker rooms. There was a big poker boom and they had all these poker rooms, and now they are cutting the poker rooms because they realize they can make more money with other gaming facilities like slot machines and tables. But just to reconnect with him and talk, can you tell me what you said to him? Did you just say, hey, man, been thinking about you? Like,

Oh? There was a lady in the news that died. Her name was share In Gorman. Oh and so I said, hoping you aren't related to her. Oh, and he said, thank you for your concern. Coach, never heard of her, but prayers as she died.

She was killed.

Oh, she was killed.

He didn't tell me that and then he says he's got a gal. Now whoa in the desert? Yeah, just talking shop like the good old days. I mean this guy, we would end our show and we would go in his studio, put down everybody puts down ten twenty bucks and would shoot a basketball in the trash kid.

It was so dumb.

Sometimes the pot went up to eighty dollars.

Yep, it was great.

The old producer Brandon.

Oh whatever happened in Brandon man.

I don't know, but he would always it was always like does he have the money?

Does he have the money?

And if he did, that mean like his kid probably wasn't getting lunch money or he was taking it from his old lady's purse.

Yeah. Man, did you know the guy he used to do the show with lives down the used to live down the street.

Phenomenal.

Didn't know that. Like I saw him walking his dog one day and he's like, hey, man, you live here. I was like yeah. He goes, oh, you didn't know I lived right over here. I said no, and he goes, man, we're gonna hang out. Never saw him again. Oh, then I see him like a year later, Oh man, how you been? I'm like, where have you been. Oh, man, I'm here, just here and there tours and I'm like, oh, okay, cool man, all right, yeah, dude, I will beer on the back porch. One day I was like, all right, dude,

I'm like, well, what about that beer?

Yeah, what about that beer on the back porch?

Man?

What about that? Hey? Why say you live right down the street when you really live in Minnesota? And he's like, you know, and we thought about, you know, like keeping the house even though we've been in Minnesota for two and a half years. But the kids are grown, they're not going to come back. So we're in Minnesota. We're not gonna be leaving Minnesota. So why have the house here? He goes, So it's going on the market, man, it's going bye bye. So we're here to clean out the house.

Hey, well you packed boxes, you want to have a beer.

I said, before you leave, you want to get that beer on the back porch, so you're not a liar. So we shook hands and he was like, yeah, man, it's kind of weird moving out. I've had this house for I don't know how many years, he said, But literally I saw him three times. No wonder, I only saw him three times. He was living in Minnesota the whole damn time.

And Coach also was the guy that my parents frowned upon me and Baz are living together before we remarried. So one weekend I had the idea, tired of my parents always coming down and I'm sleeping in sin so I said, Hey, Coach, what if I just put like a diploma on a table and a couple pieces of clothes those articles of clothing on the bed, maybe a backpack in one of your rooms, so it looks like

How old were you at this point, Oh, probably twenty five.

He said, sure, Coach, Sure, sure, sure, suresh.

I did it?

Put all my stuff there, but parents never even wanted to see where I lived. So it never got to that point.

Twenty five years old and you're worried about where you live because of your.

Per memorizing the drive.

Oh my god. And then you show up and he forgot to give you a key. Hey, Hey man, Hey, I get get in? Are you home? You never gave me a key? Ray, He never gave you a key? How long you lived here? I've lived here for a year, mom. I I usually just leave it on lot. That's I don't know what he was doing today. I'm bad.

That's a good dude. And then we stole the coach name from him and made merch.

Yeah, my name, image and likeness. I think he was more mad about it. He invited you to a Colts party here in town, and you guys never showed up.

That was more to utter guy confirming we were gonna go when I never confirmed at eight pm on a Thursday night.

Yeah, man, that's good that he semi retired. He's just he deserves it. He's been working hard his whole life.

He's a great dude.

I mean, the stories are endless, just how he taught us how to show park. He goes, yeah, why would you ever park behind a restaurant? He goes, pull a thing up front, give the guy twenty dollars, just tell him to park it out front. Even But this is not just places that at Valet. He's talking any place you just pull it up front, give the coat guy or something twenty and tell him to just park it up front.

Just leave it up front. Man, I'm gona ride back and they just leave it up front. I've never I had never heard.

Of that, he said. At the airport.

That's kind of where I learned about VIP, but this is a different iteration of it.

He would pull up to the.

VIP, give him twenty bucks just to hold his car and say, hey, I'm leaving, leaving in like thirty minutes. Don't want to go through the whole rigamarole of parking a vehicle. He just hold onto a form me, here's twenty and the guy like, yeah, I know, we're just parking over there.

Come back and get it though.

That's awesome that and then I.

Mean, he would he he was notorious when construction site started in that show.

Oh man, he would pull pull up to the work and pull up and he just pull up. He'd pull up and he'd.

And the guys would be all flustered.

He'd honk at.

Him and he'd always have a yukon or an escalade, like a powerful look in suv rolled on his window.

I just talked to Bob.

He said that you guys, you guys have that metal yet, and they'd be like, no, no, there hasn't been a shipment.

Ah, damn it.

I'll call Bob again.

He said he was gonna bring it by confuse every construction worker, but they always fell for it.

Well, they don't know what's going on. They just get start getting yelled. They'd pull up, Hey, guys, Bob said. Bob said, he'll be buying thirty. Make sure you're you're you're really uh, you're really working hard thirty. Bob said, he'll be buying thirty. Good All right, man, we'll see you guys later, and you drive off and they would just look at him so hard. Who the hell's Bob? Is that real? Are we are?

We?

Oh my gosh? So fun and not even filmed.

He just did it for the love of the game.

Yeah he was. He wasn't doing it for TikTok tik Tak He wasn't doing it for Instagram, he wasn't doing it for the Twitter. He was doing it just for the laughs and the camaraderie of guys being guys. It was so fun. Have they delivered that palette yet?

No? Not here? You're sure they didn't bring one early this morning? No, I don't think so.

Damn it.

I'm gonna call the big guy again.

He said, they're delivered it this morning. Alright, I'll be back. And then it always rolls window down, leave the worker like I guess he'll be back.

Hey, will you tell him I swung by? Yeah, we'll tell him.

All right. Hey, I'm just glad you reached out to him. Man, that really means good. That's I'm gonna reach out to someone today that I haven't taught to I actually did. I reached out to a guy that I grew up with, right, batter at the box. No what if everybody that's a batter's box here with us? And he was in town like six months ago, and he hit me up, and so we went and had a drink, and so I got his number, and I finally, like six months later, I haven't talked to him, and so I texted him.

Well, and also remember people read texts at different times. I read mine at two am, and then I'm not going to respond to somebody and wake him up, So then I'll do it later or just never respond. Then he gets pushed down. Next thing, you know, ten days pass.

Yeah, that's true.

We're gonna take a break.

Yeah, we're gonna take a break. We'll be right back. Hey man, I'm glad to see coaches back in your life. That's that's such a romantic good thing. We'll be right back, man.

And to hear him say coach in that voicemaild only to know that we're gonna steal the name image in lateness.

Ten years later, culture everybody says, have kids, have kids, it's the most amazing thing you'll ever do. Oh my gosh, you'll never understand that feeling. And I agree with them sometimes, except for on Wednesday, when I look at my schedule and I have a soccer game six oh five.

Please no more times. My kids gotta practice at eight No.

Continue, kids don't have practice on Wednesdays. They don't have anything on Wednesdays six five pm. That's pretty early. And I look at my three kids in the face and I said, hey, boys, you want to watch your dad play some soccer tonight? Yeah? Yeah, yeah, They are all in. It's about time, dad. We never get to go watch you play soccer.

This is what they actually said.

Now, this is what they actually said, or what you wanted them to say. No, no, this is what they said. Like what?

And some kids selfish, They just want to see themselves in the mirror.

So I'm excited. I'm like, yes, my kids want to go see me play soccer. This is what they want. We always have eight o'clock, nine o'clock games. They can't come to those, it's too late. They're already in bed this one. They're gonna come and cheer me on. So we get to the soccer place and before the game they want to play a game two on two. I'm like, guys, I need to save my energy, but fine, I'll run up and down the field with you kicking the ball. Great.

Opening day of base soccer?

Yeah, base Oh, I guess baseball was that night.

But no, why would we talk about that. I'd rather talk about opening night of soccer?

Thank you. This was Wednesday. Opening Day was really on Thursday.

Netflix had it on Wednesday.

Whatever. Yeah, where were they playing Giants? Baby Yankees? Were they in America?

I think so? But I know Netflix was all over. It was all haywire. Everybody's so terrible, but they stick to movies. Let us handle the sports anyways.

So I make a bad pass and it goes out of bounds.

Wow, So first time you've said that you make a bad pass.

You're just like I passed great, I did great defense.

Well, sometimes I do play. I mean I make mistakes every game, and there's no way on perfect every game. I know.

But in my head, like I stopped playing organized sports fifteen years ago, so I just imagine you as like this horrible, like always trip in like terrible, but in your head you still think you're playing with them. So in my head and our listeners probably imagined you as awful. So the fact you finally just said you made it bad past, thank you.

Yes, okay, And maybe it wasn't that bat.

I mean it hit like sloppy, your shoes are untied, A lot of huffing and puffing, like that's what I imagine, and I've never seen you play before.

Okay, I'm not gonna argue with you. There is huffing and puffing going on. There are times when I think I can do something that I used to be able to do, and then I'm like, not, can't do that. Like or you tell yourself, man, you're gonna get that ball, and then someone gets there before you do and it's like, man, that's weird. Or you're running up to play defense and you think you're gonna be able to stop. But then you just run into them because you can't put on

And it's all these big bandy kids there, and the guys are wearing banana hammock now when the girls are wearing those golf skirts.

Ah, I've never seen the banana hammocks. But okay, I don't know what soccer you're watching, but there are no banana hammocks allowed on the field that I know of. And so I make a bad pass in the first minute of the game.

Only crap want to start and.

It goes out of bounds. And you know, I told you I love my kids. They came to watch me. And from the sideline, I hear, Dad, why'd you kick it out of bounds? That was bad?

Okay, no eighty nine more minutes of this. I'm like, it wasn't me that kep out of bounds. It hit off his foot. It was Sarah And now it's Charlie.

Bad path Dad, it.

Was the ups guy. That's the goalie.

Okay, all right? Then I take a shot and miss Dad, I would have scored that. Now this is funny. And I'm like, okay, and I'm like, this is gonna get old. This is gonna get old. They're gonna yell every single time.

The players gotta be loving it though.

Oh people are laughing. People are laughing. And then this one person stuffs me, Dad, that wasn't a good idea. Okay, And I try another pass and it goes way out of bounds and goes wow, Dad, you kicked out the wrong way A long way. Okay, all right. Then we give up two goals.

Well please tell me they saw you get a goal.

Then we give up two goals, and my youngest yells, Dad, maybe I should play goalie.

I'm like, relax, you're a kid. I cannot brought you in this world'll take you out.

And I get that. He thinks he should play goalie because he's the youngest. So the two older brothers when they play in the backyard always make him play goalie. And so we give up two goals and he thinks, oh my gosh, they're giving up a lot of goals. I mean, put him in he would die. Oh.

It's just like enter Miami versus Nashville sc out. There.

No it's not that. No no, no, no, no, no, no, no stop. It's I'm just saying that I a four year old, I don't think he would be able to stop a shot.

Like, dude, I've seen old man softball, so I know those visions. I've just never seen old men's soccer. So like when you explain your stories, I know you're thinking like you're just like you were when you were in college. All I see in my head is like old ass men tripping and crap, like your gut's hanging out like bad kicks, yelling, like.

So much sweating. That's all I'm seeing it by head.

And then I see a couple of Vandy co ed chicks that are flying around you guys.

Yeah, and then James gets the ball on the right side and he goes just take a shot, and the sniper got him down. He goes swung and miss hit the turf and my kids, y'all, Dad, did you see him fall down?

James is getting pulled in now raked.

And they are just making fun of us the whole time, and halftime it's like four to nothing or four to one, and they come over like Dad, Dad, you guys got to score more. You're losing. Yes, I know, Dad, how come you're not winning yet? Okay, guys, this team they're good, they're fast, they're younger than us. Okay, we're trying our best. Okay, second half they decided to go play on field one for about ten minutes because they didn't want to watch us get smoked anymore.

I was gonna say, good kids, if they last the whole game, ain't no way.

Then he comes over and he's like, Dad, Dad, I gotta go poop, right, Well, what do you want me to do about it. I'm playing a game. I told you before we left the house. If you're gonna have to poop, I'm not gonna be able to help you at the game.

Where's your wife?

I don't know. She's not there. Ray problems. No. She went to school board meeting about budgets, very interesting, very exciting stuff. And she's like, I really think it's important for you know, me to go watch and learn about the budgets for all the schools in the district.

We have eighteen dollar She's like two of the dollars were spent on toilet paper, Like, what does that mean? I would love to know their budget, Like what a hundred bucks?

I don't know, but she wanted to go and she wanted shell.

As they're twelve years old. The bathrooms haven't been updated in twenty years. But this year we're gonna have a new AI tool that makes the teachers not half the grade tests. It's two hundred dollars.

Yeah, I don't know what they talk about. But I wasn't there. My name was Been. I wasn't in it. I was at my soccer game. So the older kid he has to go poop, He goes poop leaves and then we end up losing seven to two.

Geez freaking leaking like a SIV. You got to get two guys in goalie.

Yeah, and no, our goalie played amazing. What's a if? That's amazing?

What's a bad game?

Twenty goals?

It should have been twenty to two. I mean, our goalie was amazing. Uh, Vandy's gotten good, amazing. And my kid's dad, you guys got crushed. Wow, you guys got crushed. Dad.

You didn't even score a single goal.

Oh man, that's the memory they'll remember.

I'm like, yeah, I know, and they're like, Dad, but we did see you take a couple of shots. They didn't go in, but we saw you take a couple of shots. But you guys got crushed. Couldn't bend it now.

I couldn't bend it like Beckham man. I couldn't do a Beckham kick. It just doesn't bend. It just keeps flying off. It's like freaking fades, freaking golf dude.

It's wide right, not even like oh man, gotta miss that one. Yeah, so it was bad, dude. We absolutely got crushed. It was sad to see the kids. I thought they were gonna love me and they were gonna embrace me and they were gonna support me. But instead they're already into the trash talk and ragging on Dad about how bad his team was. First thing they tell their mom, Mom, Dad's team got crushed. I'm like, great, great, great. It was six to two, No, seven to two. They

It's gotta be better, though, than the other guy talking about his dad that's an alcoholic, or the one that doesn't have a job he's been unemployed for six months.

At least they had a story to tell about their dad. At least they got to see their dad do something besides pick up the bottle.

And you know, those kids went home and told their parents and their dad's like, what he's playing? Organize soccer? I get home and put down a bag of Dorito's, like, what what are you taught?

Like?

That would be mind blowing to a dad that he's like, May they must have young parents.

No, I think he's your age. He has a beard that's.

Gray, he has white hair on his face.

Well, they must have had those kids real young. There's honey playing intramurals. He's got to be in his I'd say his must be in his thirties. Had that kid in his twenties, it must be as he's got a beer gut and hasn't even hit the treadmill in years.

Yeah, man, it was rough. And then we're sitting around the dinner table last night, and the youngest tells his brothers, yeah, I told all my friends about how dad got crushed last night, and my middle goes. Middle one goes, I'm gonna tell my friends tomorrow. Like what, Like, guys, it's over. We lost no need to spread the news. You sat at the dinner table. What does this leave it to beaver ry?

And then in the morning, I read the morning paper with some orange juice. I'll take two eggs, yeh, some toast, Thank you, ma'am.

One thing you learn is that when you have little kids, you sit at the dinner table as a family and eat dinner. Most of the time, me.

On one chair, bazer sitting up at the calendar, the cat walking all over the dishes, that's dinner.

I understand that when you don't have kids, you can be all over sporadic. And the oldest was upset because I wouldn't let him take his food and eat it in front of the TV. Because the NCAA tournament was on last night. He wanted to watch, and I was like, no, we're sitting as a family. Oh you never let me watch. You know, that's not it. We're just eating dinner right now. Can I turn my chair to uh so I can get an angle to see the TV. No, that's not

She's on some inter minute fasting and I think she's shut down from eating at like three point thirty, So from three thirty to nine she's starving to death. I'm like, there's gotta be another diet where you don't just shut off eating it. She's like, you got to hurry home. I got what what are you talking about? So we always do your late lunch breaks and we go. No, I gotta get home. I gotta eat before three thirty. What Oh those games were late, dude.

Yeah, some of them were late. But hey, but that's what I'm saying, Raight. Sometimes you love your kids and sometimes you wish you never had them. We'll take a break, we'll be right back. Oh man, what a day. And let me tell you, I need some prayers. I need prayers. And I'm talking to all you people out there because today Kansas, No, they don't play, man, I know they don't.

Arkansas doesn't play.

Bro Tennessee and Michigan State continues on. I outlasted all you fools.

No, no, no, no, just because you happen to play on a different day, you're the same round, still alive.

Stop they won't wait, they won't be. No, no, no, no, they won't be. But stop stop that talk. Oh no, they won't be. Stop Ioway State and the Yukon and guys, Just for y'all at home before you start this truly fascinating story about the prayers the Yukon team.

I messed it up.

When I was at the hotel in my robe during the ice storm, I watched Yukon and Villanova.

Did I have a couple drinks? Sure, a couple of white claws?

Did I think then two months later that the good team was Villanova?

Yes? Did I post about.

It on our Instagram Watch out for Villanova this March because I saw them during the ice storm and they're really good. Yes, yes, yes, I was actually talking about Yukon. Yukon is the team that looks like an NBA team has some men. Purdue has that man downstairs. Yukon has some men. So they're actually the good team that I was talking about. Unfortunately, they'll roll Michigan State and Iowa

Over to you, ma'am.

Yeah, I would like to say I need some prayers. I need everybody to pull out their rosaries, to go outside and look upstairs, get down on you know, your two knees and do the sign of the cross or whatever you do. And I need you to look upstairs and say, dear tournament gods, can you please grant this one wish? As we are gathered here today in front of the TV, can you please squarely allow the legend of Tom Izzo and the Michigan State Spartans to please

Refshut and touch him, hut and touch.

Him and the you know back to back national titles that Yukon won. Can we please send them home in the sweet sixteen. I know they're the two seed and they're supposed to win, but please, tournament gods, please shine your light on those boys from Michigan because we need this.

Just tell me why?

What?

Can you tell me where they're from in Michigan anxiety.

Forgot Eastlands where my phone numbers from.

Can you please? They haven't seen sunshine in like three months because it's been winter, It's been dumping snow. These people of East Lansing needs something to keep him going in life. And I'm gonna tell you why, Attorney gods. It's because in tradition never dies. Which is my family bracket that we have done since kids kid, Chess Day's Dad.

I got the poster birds and charpies. It's extra thick.

Chess Day's Dad is up two points on me. In the tournament bracket. He has the Yukon Huskies moving on to the lead eight.

Smart.

I have the Michigan State Spartans moving on to the leit eight. The fighting is OUs. If Yukon wins, we have the rest of the tournament the same, the exact same teams in the Final four, the exact same teams in the championship. The exact same team winning it. So the only way I can catch him is if Michigan State does the unthinkable and beats the Yukon Huskies or else.

Kid, what do you mean the Horns lost?

Kid?

Oh? Kid, that's beautiful. Who else has already been eliminated? Batter's box has already been eliminated? What if everybody that's a batter's box here with us? As he said last year that he was never gonna pick Houston again, and he came back this year and picked Houston.

Who's on?

Oh my goodness. I don't think Kelvin Sampson knows how to teach offense. He knows how to teach defense.

Like batter's box.

You're not winning a championship in modern day basketball scoring fifty points.

Stop with that final pick.

Stop Oh in Arkansas, You're not winning a championship allowing over one hundred and fifty points.

Stop batters box. Stop.

Yeah, Wes, we are all Moreland, we are You're our thoughts and prayers with you, You and your Arkansas brethren. I think Wesley just is also Arkansas. He lives in Oklahoma, but he likes Arkansas. Something like that. Yeah, bodied, they didn't get bodied, and so yes, that is why I need the Michigan State Spartans to win tonight.

Okay, not to totally throw you off. I just wanted to say this.

That's all I got.

It's just a small memory.

I have a Michigan State about a week ago before the tournament started in the Big Ten Championship, maybe before it. It was Michigan State. And you see, I thought, Dad, let's watch it together. Games started at like nine. I guess it's a theme. These games started nine and end at midnight. They were down fifteen in the first half. What their offense looked so horrible to a UCLA team that I guess was injured the first time they played them,

I forgot that UCLA was in the Big Ten went until you started talking about him. Yeah, what are you talking about? They were playing them a week before the tournament.

In the tourney, and I went to bed at halftime. It was such a blowout. Fears is, yes, the glue, he makes the fifteen assists.

But Bro, they just don't have the shooters. I'm sorry.

They got Cohen Carr, the big lefty. He's gonna throw it down, bigfella. I'm telling you, they don't have the shooters. You con may put thirty on them.

Well, I hope they put thirty on them, because that would be a perfect score. We can score more than thirty.

On thirty on top of whatever they put. I'm just telling you, if I was betting mad the Arizona team, the fact you could still get them four times your money, why would you not have bet that? And no Michigan State, how sweet it was, it will not still be sweet.

It will be elite. Hey, I got an email. Guys, Does it bother you as much as it bothers me that the majority of today's multi million dollar college hoop coaches no longer wear suit and tie during a game. I think that practice disappeared during COVID, but it seems to me a dressed up coach speaks volumes to the coach's character. Case in point yesterday's game between Saint John's

What are you even wearing? Is that mad Dog beer?

No, it's mad Dog Demolition derby man. It speaks volumes to the coach's character. Are you talking about Rick Bettino, the same guy that was banging someone in the steak house bathroom when he was married, when he was at Kentucky or where was he the coach at Kentucky or Louisville and he was banging the woman in the steak bathroom? You're talking about that guy? John Calipari on top.

Of these perkins and steak and shakes, that's your moral high ground. Just because you dressed in a suit, does it make you any more moral and better than the person next to you?

I don't understand why they wear a suit. It has to be terribly uncomfortable. I never wear a suit, and when I do, I feel very stiff and rigid because I'm not used to wearing a suit. I don't understand why they'd wear a suit. They're sweating, and they're walking up and down the sideline. It just seems weird.

And if there's a guy wearing a suit at Perkins, he's either strung out on coke or he's unemployed and he's trying to better his life. So it's one of the two. And do you want to hear a voicemail now that you read an email?

Yeah. Rick Watino, senior at Louisville, was ended following two major scandals. A sex scandal involving escorts for recruits.

Oh my gosh, what did you just do?

And then what?

Wow?

What did you just google?

Oh? No, I didn't.

I'm out.

I didn't. Well, I'm sorry, we'll take a break, we'll right back. But no, it doesn't bother me that they don't wear a suit. I think it's sort of like a lawyer. Why does a lawyer have to wear a suit? I want my lawyer to be comfortable and cool. Just because you wear a suit doesn't mean you're a good lawyer. It doesn't make you a good coach to wear a suit. Sorry, it doesn't matter to me, Dennis, I don't know. It doesn't bother me very much, but yeah, hit the voicemail.

Hey, this is Seth from Indiana. I just wanted to call and give Lunchbox and Ray a shout out for the Sore Losers podcast. I'm a longtime listener of the Big Show and I've never really listened to The Sore Losers, but tried an episode today and I mean it was hilarious. I listened to two more after that. The mustard mouth story that Lunchbox told was hysterical. So good work, guys, keep it up. I just wanted to give him some love.

Yep, rock them, okay, Jim Rome. Hey, what was his name, Seth or Steph U?

It was Steph Curry, Steph Curry man.

He was He was in Indiana why the Pacers? And he found the pod. Now, see this is what I need. How come we can't get our listeners to like, get one person on board. All you gotta do is get one person, one friend, family member.

At Starbucks, at the stop play somebody, just get one person to listen.

When you're walking past ten City on Broadway.

Yeah, so our Losers podcast. Check it out. I mean, somebody, this is what I'm talking about. We need new people like this. We need new blood too. The old blood is amazing and we want to grow this. So we need you to tell your friends and your family what's up.

For the weekend?

Oh man, do you want to know?

Not times, ors practices or schedules, but something interesting? Eight am tomorrow morning baseball game? Eight am am? What am for? Who are you betting Japanese baseball? No?

My kid?

Why so early?

Ah? Because that's what's on the schedule, says eight am? Yeah, eight am, dude, we have let's see eight am for the oldest.

And then I mean, is the dew even off the crops?

Eight fifty five is for t ball, and then we get a break for the next twenty seven hours and we have a three o'clock for the middle child. That's what we got this weekend. That's all I know that's on the agenda. Yeah, we're pretty wide open. I'm excited. Oh yeah, yeah, Oh, you're gonna watch the games tonight.

I'm glad I got seven TVs because Michigan State and the Balls play at the exact same time.

It is so stupid. The NC douable a like the timing of these games is per absolutely missed every game last night because they started at six.

I was in bed at five thirty.

Texas and Purdue and Nebraska and Iowa were both phenomenal games, but you didn't. You'll, you had to pick one or the other because you couldn't have them both on because they started pretty much at the exact same time. Why not start one of those at four thirty, then boom, have the next one at six, then boom, have the next one at eight, then boom, then it gets kind of late.

And the thing nobody talks about. I love the quad camera and March madness and affl Guys, you can't see it as well, so small and you're really not.

Ingraining in your mind? What is even happening?

No, because you're bouncing back and forth.

And somebody on our Facebook page said this as well, you really do just have to watch one game? Really, I mean two possibly hard, it's still different because they're cutting the screen in half.

Yeah.

So, I mean, as cute as it is to have the quad cam up, and they put two of them as the women's games and one is Fox News. I'm like, awesome, guys, I'm glad we're choosing the quadcam allowed the consumer to but yeah, it's just not possible. So you're gonna miss a game.

You're gonna miss a game. Yeah, you're gonna miss a game. Why everybody have a great weekend. Man.

I wanted to go off on a tangent a whole thing about Bayser playing golf now, but we're gonna have to do that on Monday's menu.

Didn't tell me that.

No, you're good. I just didn't know we were gonna go to Dad and kid well again, which is good. The truckers don't have kids though, that's the problem. You gonna Remember, these guys are bagging lizards.

Kids. They just don't know about it.

They don't they're not at home for them, so they don't really relate to your kids going to your game. A truckers on the road six out of seven days of the week.

If farmers get it.

I mean the farmers are pretty wide over them because their crops haven't even started. It still looks like grass to me until they're it's planting season because I just furted the dirt, so I did a little planting. I don't know about the actual crops themselves, but maybe there's more furit than the dirt and the crops that I'm seeing, But it just looks like grass right now.

Yeah, that's my apologies. Before the show, you told me you had the A block. You didn't tell me you also had a baser block. You didn't tell me. You gave me the heads up on the one, didn't tell me on the other.

Well, there's no rush to it because there's an investment. There is it long term payoff, and then there's the public's opinion of why starting to play golf. This is gonna be contrary to any of those things, and it's gonna be mind blowing, and it is why you guys come to our show for these segments. Monday morning, seven twenty.

All right, yeah, that wasn't bad, man, that was a good one.

Is this gonna be the replay?

I don't know, what do you think? Or is it gonna be Wednesdays? I don't remember Wednesdays? We recorded one part. Well, I remember it.

That was your boy, that coach, the original coach.

Oh, then this is probably gotta be the replay. Okay, all right, And there's gonna be rain today. You didn't factor that into what you're doing this weekend. Your wife's gonna be storm crazy. It's gonna be rain today, rain, but maybe not storms. So I think she might be in the clear.

Okay, yeah, she she doesn't like she likes rain. Is fine, it's just the other thing. Yeah. But Dennis, oh high and mighty. You think Dennis wears a suit when he watches the game, but he's judging these coaches. Dennis, You're crazy, dude.

I mean, you're down to about lawyers as the only profession that wears a suit.

I think you're about right.

I mean nobody, I mean, dude, we just had a business lunch for the podcast trying to get sponsors and stuff.

Yeah, nobody wears suits. It's awesome. I'm in like a hoodie and jeans.

The guy, the business guy we were meeting up with, he's wearing a golf polo and jem talk.

It's awesome.

But back in the day, I would have had to put a suit on and then that tie, and then you'd have to have this stiff meeting.

Hey, how's it going?

Oh?

Nothing like the old lady at home. How are you? Did you read the USA today today? Yeah? Did you see that article? Yeah, the op ed. Yeah. My wife thought for the longest time that every dude wore a suit every day because her dad was a lawyer, and she thought guys shaved every day because her dad shaved every day.

That is amazing. We don't have to shave every day.

Oh my gosh, it's like, that's why my face gets so out of control. It's my least favorite thing to do in the world to shave.

One one a week, and I'm perfect.

I love it. And it was never told that as a kid, you're only gonna have shaved once a day.

Amazing.

Do you use a razor or?

To use an electric razor? In the shower. But yeah, I don't like shaving either, hate it. It just takes him extra ten minutes. You gotta make sure your fogless mirror is charged.

It's it's it's very annoying. Yeah, all right. We gotta go, man, we gotta go. We gotta go.