I started it.
I appreciate you starting it.
Man, Hello, Hello, Hello, Yeah, so uh are you able to hear me easily?
You've been doing this joke for like three weeks. I don't know if it's still funny. Like, I don't know if three weeks in, if people are still laughing at I don't know if it's still funny. But all that matters. Here's the thing. It doesn't matter if people laugh. It matters if you think it's funny exactly, and you enjoy that.
Yeah, because after doing stuff for you and doing stuff for Bazer, you do it. It's funny for you. Maybe Beazer doesn't think something's funny. You just do it for you. At the end of the day.
Since when do you do stuff.
For me on this? Oh? On the Bobby Bone Show, the Big Show? O kick your fake laugh if I'm on there.
Okay, tuche, I get it. I get boy, because, like you say, with your wife, with my wife, I still make the same joke every time say Man, I'm hungry. Hi, nice to meet you. I hate it when you do that. It's such a stupid joke, but I do it anyway. I'm like you used to laugh when we first met So why would it not be funny now, she goes, because you've been doing it for years.
I gotta be real. I don't get it. What Hey, I'm hungry, nice to meet you. Don't know you're always hungry?
She says, I'm hungry.
That's actually great, and that's I've never heard that one before.
And that's when you throw hi, I'm nice to meet you. Oh.
I got to do that with the nephews because that's their favorite sentence.
They will say, or oh, I'm so tired. Oh nice to meet you. I'm and they're like, what, Like, well, you're introducing yourself. You're so tired, so I just want to introduce myself. But it's the stupidest joke.
I've never heard it. Who did it? Keith Kid, I'm so harny? Oh nice to me?
No, no, no, no, he didn't say that.
He didn't.
No, no, But that is what it's all about. That's the kind of jokes like you say that are just for you.
See. I thought it was I'm so hungry, but you always I thought you were saying that, and it's something that you've every day in your life. You say, and she goes, oh, nice to meet you like, this isn't i've met you before?
Oh no, no, no, no, this is you introducing yourself.
You could also say that you could like if something, Oh, I see it all the time. I've met the I've met you before, I've lived you with your ten years.
I'm aware, yes, but now that we've been married ten years, it's better when she's hungry or when the kids are hungry. Dad, I'm hungry. Oh, nice to meet you. I didn't know we had a kid name. I'm hungry.
Oh.
And they don't really like it. They don't think it's funny. They don't really I don't think they comprehend it, so like you didn't comprehend it. But here we are. I mean, it's for me. It's not for them. It's for me, and you would hope.
I mean, I guess the comedians do they do the like THEO vond does he think he's funny. He has to write, Okay, if.
You're a comedian, you have to believe you are hilarious.
Okay, So then every person on planet or tells jokes for themselves.
Yes, hmm, they write the joke thinking, man, I am so funny, and because I think I'm funny. Other people are going to think I'm funny.
It's sort of like when Ray God complex.
No, it's not that, but it's like whenever you're somewhere, like at the grocery store. Another joke that I like to do, and I do it for myself, but because it's funny is they're like, oh, how are you doing today? And I'm like, looking good. That's half the battle. I do it every time. I do it at the grocery store. I do it checking in at you know, the doctor's appointment. I do it checking in at the airport, when we're checking into a hotel, wherever we are.
It would work on vacation or an airport. But if somebody says that it McDonald's if I was a worker, dope, what do you mean not when you're ordering food? If it's vacation mode looking good, Yeah, you are welcome to the Bahamas, sir. Enjoy your seven day stay.
No, no, it's not you don't just go looking good. They say how are you doing today? And you say looking good? That is half the battle.
You're telling me when you sit down to eat at at a normal restaurant with your without the kids, because that's probably a chuck e cheese. So maybe it does work with the mouse. But if you're a bourbon and steak and whiskey or whatever it's called, how's it going tonight, sir? Looking good? That's half the battle. I would hope to god you don't do that at a nice restaurant.
It's usually at the hostess stand when you're checking in for a vacation. No, no, no, like when you're checking for a restaurant. You know, hello, how are you doing today?
Sir?
Looking good? That's half the battle. And they're like, what can I do for you? And I'm like, I'll just try to get a table for two.
What if it's an eighteen year old server or a hostess.
It doesn't matter. I'm looking good. I'm looking good. I'm not saying they're looking good, but I could see how they could interpret it as I'm calling you good looking. No, it's all for me. I enjoy doing that. OK. When I'm walking onto a plane and they have that flight attendant that is always standing right there when you walk into the plane.
That's back to vacation modes. That strengthens my point.
And they say, hello, welcome, how are you doing today?
Looking good?
That's half the battle. Okay. My wife just rolls her eyes because.
That works vacation mode, not in a sit down restaurant.
I disagree. It works anywhere, It works anywhere when no one is expected.
It would work at a restaurant. You know, you're at twin peaks, you're at tilted kill somebodys looking good, that's half the battle. Hey, what do you plase want to order today?
Yeah?
You want something like some wings? It works with that.
My wife, like I said, gets so annoyed. But every once in a while I'll catch her off guard because she'll forget about it, and I'll hit it and the person gets a good reaction, and she'll tell the people don't laugh, it's not funny.
See, you've never done that one around me. If you did, my initial reaction immediate, without even thinking, I'll be like, what that's an embarrassed maybe funny, that's it? Okay.
See, because my wife gets a little embarrassed, she's like, oh my gosh, she goes just ignore him, just ignore him.
Does it work with a guy?
Don't really know what? Guy?
I told you, I knew you didn't use it. Every time there's a dude looking good that's after battle. How are you doing, Peter? It doesn't work with guys.
That's I forgot the caveat.
I'll call you that.
That's the caveat. But there's usually not a guy.
That's truck stop and fly.
I don't look good.
That's half the battle. What are you guys doing today?
Because usually if you're at a flying j guess what they're not saying, how you doing today? You know what they're saying, is that all seven fifty six? Thank you? That's it. They're not engaging in conversation. When you're with the hostess, it's usually a female. It's usually someone that is talking to it because they are a hostess and they're supposed to welcome you to the restaurant, welcome you to the hotel, correct, welcome you to the airplane. It's not usually dudes.
And you're right, they're gonna be more bubbly.
Girls are more bubbly. Females are more bubbly. They want to talk. Guys are more paper or plastic.
Flying Jay, I can't believe we brought that back. I was coming back from Georgia stop by one. It was NFL Sunday. They had a theater room in the back the recliner chairs. NFL ticket not saying it was the best. It was probably illegally streamed. It looked like one of those streamers from all Overseas booming it on a big screen projector recliners all at the Flying Jay. There's no dudes in there. You know why they have that to keep them there.
It's a truck stop, so the truckers need something to watch they I never thought about.
This, right, but if you have TV playing, no matter how poorly quality it is, they'll stay there. Eat some meals there, get some gas fuel their tires, maybe get something from the merchandise for their kids that they haven't seen in two weeks. For truckers, guys that did too many horns last time, so just won.
No, that's what I mean. I never thought about how do truckers catch a part of the game. They may listen to it on their radio, but I'm saying like when they stop, because they have mandatory hours, they have to stop, so they probably time it where they can catch the Titans game at the Fly and j absolutely or they're a Packers fan, they ask them. They look up all the Flying Jas that have the Sunday NFL ticket and they call them ahead of time and say, hey, if I stop there, Bubba, you mind if we put
on the Packers game. They're like, Packers suck. That's right, we won't put it on here. So then he calls the next Flying Jay and he looks for that spot.
Why do you think I want to be a truck driver? Because if that is the case, where you can design your own hours, I would wake up at midnight, I would have the load hauled by noon, turn on Major League Baseball at one pm after a one hour nap.
Only a one hour nap, man, that's impressive, Ray, when's a lot lizards come in? But do you take a one hour nap in the at your house or do you take it in the cab of the truck cab?
That's the beauty of it. You don't leave your truck. The only time you're gonna leave it is to get a lizard.
That's not See, that's the exact opposite of beauty. Like you want to go to work, sleep where you work, eat where you work. That seems miserable.
Well, and actually I gotta get I'm going in character. I'm married now and I have a job, so I probably will never be a truck driver.
I understand you're going.
Back, But when I was single, before you were married, before I was married, that's when you're going. You're in the parking lot, you find a good one flying jay where there's gonna be some good lizards, and you're watching the game, taking a nap. You don't even have to leave the parking lot. So I see these guys around town. They got the headset still on. They're still talking on the CB, or they got music playing through their ears.
They're getting some food back in the truck. It's the easiest job.
See, I don't think it's the easiest job. You've got other drivers, You got all the weather conditions, you have to deal with everything.
Right, But I would time. What do you think I told you the other day? Hey man, it's gonna rain around one. Are you really riding your bike? I know the weather, So I would have left the load and the rig and all that midnight. I'm delivered by noon when the storm hits, and then I'm in my cab and the storm's hitting and I'm taking a night a nap.
Or you think it's that Kolbe White has the easiest job in America.
Yeah, because it's mindless. You just stay in the far right lane. Who cares about because there's governors on them. They can't go ninety miles an hour. From what I was told, there's no reason to speed. So you're just hanging over there. You're seeing America for free. You got you can talk to every person you know. Imagine how many times you call your parents? Oh yeah, what is it? It's not Father's Day? What do you call me for?
Hey?
Dad? Just to talk? How are you doing?
Ty? I mean to know, do you have the easiest job in America? I mean, do you stop at a Flying Jay and watch your packers game? I have no idea how it works. And are there Can you be a trucker only Monday through Friday and then you're off on the weekends or is it random schedule? No matter what?
Yeah, I don't know that. But South Beach, he wasn't in a truck. He was in a white van. Right out of college. He would deliver stuff, not that, and it was in Austin and it was some specialized parts that they needed in South Padre Island. Don't know where he got this job from, but it was right out of college. I got Grande Communications, I got Telecommunications South Beach is delivering a part. So he would do it
on a Sunday. He would leave at noon and he would listen to all the NFL games on the radio, and he said it was the best job. An he'd drive along the coast and then drive down to Padra, drive to Padre. I think he went to Padre and then came back in the same day because he would oh God, so that maybe made it bad, but he would stop buying San Marcus. He would come by and we'd have some beers and he'd stay the night and
then he'd go back to Austin. Huh. But he said there's something different listening to those games on the radio when you're driving and you're getting paid to do it.
I'm gonna tell you what. The best flight ever though, is Austin to brown to Harlingen, whatever it is, because it is a forty minute flight or whatever. I mean. I had, you know, Garrett's wedding down in Brownsville, and a lot of the people are like, oh dude, I'm gonna drive. It's only like a six hour drive. The flight was literally thirty six minutes and it was like eighty dollars. Dude, you want to talk about partying your balls off all weekend and then getting back having to
wake up on Sunday and drive back. No, no, no, we woke up and we see everybody in the hotel lobby. Everybody's like, oh, we gotta drive back, we gotta drive back. I was at home in my bed within two and a half half hours of waking up.
Why are you just telling me this freshman year of college, we went to South Padrea. We flew to Dallas and.
Drove Okay, that's okay.
Why did we not fly for eighty dollars?
Yeah? Well, I don't know if it was that cheap from Chicago.
Dude, my buddy didn't hook it up with the local information. I don't think people know you can fly down there.
Maybe not, but it was amazing. It was like the one time we went to South Podish from San Antonio for college spring break and I slept on the side of the road. That drive back was the most miserable drive back ever.
Imagine waking up senior year of high school in Florida and having to drive all the way home in one day in your parents' suburban and you're not allowed to let anybody else drive it hungover. Actually I didn't really get hungover in high school. I think it was fine. From where Michigan to Michigan. I had to go from Orlando. I had to go from kissing me to Michigan hungover with four dudes in the back of the car smoking pot.
WHOA, don't tell your parents that. Holy crap.
Can you imagine me? You know what's funny, guys leave the windows open.
That's amazing that you went that far on spring break in high school.
Yeah, it was. It wasn't exactly spring break.
I didn't realize so many people went on spring break in high school.
But it's a thing. Though. It's cooler almost to drive because everybody's going the same way.
No, I get it, because then you're in the caravan, you're in the traffic, and people are, you know, tossing beers.
Car to car. It's really where you're throwing the football in traffic.
I've heard the stories. It's just like the movies.
Ray, you want to go camping with a football?
No, I don't want to go camping with the football. Should we start the show Man?
Yeah? Yeah, yeah, yeah, I forgot. We were even on yeah.
I thought we were just sitting in a room with Mike's in front of us, just talking for no reason. The red lights told us nothing.
I gotta be more careful though, without the condom on, because I'm not able to hear the sounds. And people were saying the horn was way too loud. Actually, Bazer goes, hey, it was honestly annoying. So I go, okay, I'll tone down the horn. Got it. So I'm doing it blindly.
I don't understand why two weeks later, like you still have not put the condom back on, when people were saying, put the condom on, get protection, and it's been two weeks and you still won't do it, Like, are you just stubborn?
I'm not stubborn, but it flows better because we're all set up there with my headset in the other room. I can just run in there, and I think it sounds better. I don't like those headphones.
So you're telling me I need to bring an extra pair of headphones for you into this studio.
Now because I don't like the new ones. They have to be the old school ones from Austin days.
It's like my old roommate he used to like just not use protection, and he'd just bring we'd bring home these random skanks and he would just you know, he'd be like, oh, dude, I don't need protection. I don't need protection. And I don't know how many years I had to tell them, hey, dude, you need protection, like you need to Like, dude, you're you're playing with fires.
Like nah, dude, nah, dude.
Nah. Well guess what, man, he brought a girl home, and guess what happened. She got pregnant, still together. Yeah, they had a kid. You know how long they knew each other for she got pregnant six hours.
There was his chick on vander Pump and she had said something like they were married with a kid and all that. She goes, yeah, he was actually just a one night stand and then he just kind of stuck around and then they got a divorced on the show. But it was sad how she said that. She goes, he was honestly on tender. It was just a one night stand and then the next day he called me in the next day and the next day I didn't expect him to stick with us, to both stick around
that long. Kind of sad how she told it.
That's a love story. If I've ever heard when I got a buddy that he's married to a chick. They were just kind of booty calling it. They would just call each other about midnight, one am, two am, and then next day, you know, was like, man, we should grab dinner, should grab another.
Dinner instead of just a night gap every day.
Yeah, and so for like, I think it was like three or four months they were just a nightcap, started dating, and then they got married and they got a kid, and they're still together and they look happy.
She goes, can we ever hang out at a different time of the day, that is at two am?
Yeah? Yeah, can we like hang out when the sun's up? Oh that's weird, that's a that's a weird proposition.
You up?
Yeah, Hey, that was a good text. That was always a good one. You awake you out, Like at one you text some random the chick you out, Yeah, you want to meet up.
But mine was always with the radio show. I was getting up so early. I would make all these plans and I'd fall asleep at seven pm. I wake up to some chick twenty text messages yelling at me for not showing up to the bar.
Oh that's terrible. There was this one girl. She was a Cowboys fan, had a fake rack. This is before I was married, and I texted her one night after getting back from the bar.
So I was like, no, she was a Cowboys cheerly.
Now just fan fan. I just remember that. I just remember that. And then she may have been a teacher.
Uh.
And I tested her. I was like, hey, you up. She's like, yeah, I've been watching movies all night. And I'm like, oh, come over, come over, got a good movie over here, and she got I got movies over here. It's like three in the morning.
You ever seen the Driver, You've.
Ever seen Debbie does Dallas, big Avengers fan. And so she's like, no, by the time I get over there, you're gonna pass out.
Oh oh no. I'm like no.
She's like, you've been out all night drinking. I'm like no, I'm fine, just come I'll be awake. And so I sat on the stairs started petting the dogs and like thirty eight minutes later, I woke up and I tested her. I'm like, why aren't you coming? She goes. I knocked on the door, the dogs were barking. You didn't answer, brutal, like how dumb am I so dumb?
No?
No, First of all, how dumb am I to not just unlock the door and tell her to come in that?
But also you knew you were gonna if you can't sit down? Is the thing you get on a comfy couch your lights out after drinking?
Yeah, I know.
And so I was like, just coming to sit in this chair here for a minute. She knocked on your door, and he did, knocked on the door.
Dog's barking me.
The rinkam could catch her that.
She's probably sitting there going, oh my, I wonder how many times she knocked? Right, that's my question is how many times did she knock?
A good knock? But in a house if you got fans going, ain't no way you're hearing that.
Not hearing it right? And it had been thirty eight minutes. She only lived fifteen minutes from me. So I was like, just come back. It's so stupid, and she's like, no, I'm not coming back, and I'm like, yeah, it's just come back. It'll be fun. She goes, If I come back, I'm gonna pick you up and you're gonna have to come spend night at my place.
This chick wanted you. She comes back for the double dip.
And I'm like fine, So I went and stood in the kitchen and she came back. I had to go to her place though.
Yeah, the standing is the key. Once you're in that couch, you're gone.
You're out, is over. I was like, boom, but yeah, we better start the show man. That was before I was married, though.
Man, I'll wake up to twenty text messages. I'm at the bar. Where are you? Hey? I'm here? Are you coming? Hey? Seriously, where where are you? Okay? This isn't gonna work. Why do you never come when we make plans at night? Every night, I'd passed out at eight pm. That's the best dude. The one intern I can't even don't even
know her name. She was just a promotions intern in Austin, and she had a boyfriend at the time, and I was single, and so I would always just I'd always just say, oh, come on, he's just some ut frat boy. You guys are gonna be together for like a week. Oh no, we're still together. We're still together. One time, a couple months later, she hits me up and I'm at on a Friday night. Hey, had some trouble with my boyfriend. I think we broke up. What are you
doing tonight? Me? I mean I had been pressing this for four months?
What'd you do? You were like, I'm coming out.
I was passed out asleep, and I think by Monday she had another boyfriend.
That was a great ending of that story, man.
Really, the things I woke up to text Hey to rade drunk people in my house? Billy, what happened last night? Who are all these people?
Yeah? I mean heck, I woke up to in my house and there was a new child there because my roommate got a girl pregnant. Oh yeah, So then he moved out and another dude moved in and guess what he did, met a guy gotta girl pregnant.
Wow.
And that's on top of my roommate in college, he met a chick and brought her home, and guess what happened to her pregnant? I had three roommates in a row, get a girl pregnant?
What about the one time I woke up at the wood You and me were living together and you brought a girl home, but you gave her a ride or something. You're like, Oh, You're like, hey, guys. You guys are single. Does anybody I mean, a nice blod girl. But I was like, I don't even I didn't even like really hang out with her tonight. I don't even know this girl.
Lunch No, no, no, she's.
Sleeping on the couch. Loll here's the random blonde in our living room.
Let me tell you. I'll tell you.
And the bad thing is that she was probably hot. But I just woke up. I just woke up. This is what happened. Like, leave me alone and get the hell out of my house. Who is this person? Maybe she was hot, I don't even know. But when I come home, I want some eggs and baky when I come down from waking up in the morning.
This is this is this is how it went down. Okay, I'm gonna tell.
You after we start the show in a commercial.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, let's start this. This story is hilarious, Like I I forgot all about that and you bring it up and it is huh hilarious.
All right, We're gonna do it live. Oh the one, two three, So loser, what up?
Everybody? I am lunchbox. I know the most about sports, so I'll give you the sports facts. My sports opinions, because I'm pretty much a sports.
Genius, y'all. It says in from the North, I'm an alpha male. I live on the north side of Nashville Bays or my wife two point two acres. We got twenty three kids at Vanderbilt. Justin checks on them in the electrophysiology unit as much as he possibly can not on the weekends, though he saw Tay then lunch over to you if we got to do anything, No, we're.
Not gonna do anything. We're gonna take a break, and when we'll come back and tell the story, we'll be right back. So I don't even know if you were out that night. You had to be a way. No, you had to be out that night, had to be.
It was that crazy of a night we got split up.
Here's the thing. No, No, it had to be because it was you and Minnie Wolow. I know it was you and Minnie Wolow.
But who says we had to have gone out that night.
Minnie Wolow was an into in college. Do you think he was just gonna waste one of his last three weeks in Nashville just going to bed on a weekend.
So you think I think you're actually might be right on this. We went out pretty much every Friday and Saturday when we were single, correct in the town together. Correct, that probably makes sense.
And he had a girlfriend all summer and then they broke up with like two and a half weeks left the summer. He had moved here to be an intern and was living with her and Wednesday broke up. He needed somewhere to live, so he lived in Sissons freaking bedroom for two weeks. For like two weeks, That's what I'm saying. So you're not gonna waste a Friday or Saturday night. So anyway, we go out and I guess you guys leave, and of course me, I'm never gonna
leave before the bar closes. And I'm like, I'm staying out.
I'm staying out the only guy I know that's gotta close it down with the mop bucket guy at lunch man, we're good, bars are closing, Time to go home.
I understand that I've closed many of bars down. I've seen the mop buckets come out where I'm just waiting on the bartender to go home with her. I've done that before. I've done that song and dance.
That's why Larsa Pippen says she got broke up with Michael Jordan's kid. Why she said it just he was It wasn't four am, it wasn't five m it was six am. He had to stay at every club, not only till every person left, till the cleaning crew came through and the janitorial services were there. She was, I just couldn't take it anymore. I couldn't take staying at the club till the sun came up every time we went out.
Back to your story, she did say that she's glad she got out, like it was just hard.
Oh no, they were. Probably she baby sat him.
I mean, that is the weirdest like.
That was in Scottie Pippen was married to Larsa Pippen. Larsa Pippen would Scottie Pippen played with Michael Jordans. Michael Jordan's kid dated Larsa Pippens, Scottie Pippen's ex wife and then they broke up. That was the story.
I just told, yes, but that was a Larsa. The only reason she did that was a big screw you to Scottie to say, you know what, Michael Jordan's you're right, like you were teammates that won all these championships, but you guys at each other. There's not another person on the planet that Scotty Pippen hates.
More than Jordan than Jordan, So the.
Only way she can get back at Scottie is to date Jordan's son. I don't know. That is the weirdest, like mentally, I would like to know what's going on upstairs. There's not a lot, right.
Uh, she's well thought, I mean on the show, she's fine. She's a sweet lady. I think right now she's in the heart of she's in the thick of the party scene. But I believe when they first got her and Scotty first got divorced, she had a good intentions. I don't know if she necessarily meant it like that stop I had.
Of all the dudes in the world, she hooks up with Michael Jordan's son.
Well, I'm sure they were all friends from when they played together. They had been around each other a lot. Okay, now he's twelve, Well that's really young. Eighteen, Okay, it's young. Twenty Oh, he's kind of cute. Twenty two, Oh, he's cute. H thirty we're divorced. Oh he's really cute. I don't know they knew each other very well. It's friend circles, like you know, no, I I don't think I could me date in your wife friend circle.
No no, not my wife. Not my wife. You'd have to date my kid.
All right, Go back to the girl blonde girl story.
So we're at the bar and I don't know how this girl got in our circle, our radius or whatever, but whoever we were out with, she came around. She's talking, and the bars are closing, everybody's leaving, and I'm getting a cab and she's like, well, I don't want to take a cab by myself. Can I just go to your place? Fishing a barrel? When we first moved here, And I'm like, well, I got a chick, but I mean I got two roommates at home. I'm sure one of them will let you sleep with them.
And if I remember correctly, we definitely got text messages like, hey, guys, are you up breaking a chick? Where I believe this is a long time, this ten years ago. I believe we're like, he says, he's britt Did you get the text from lunch? He says he's bringing a get come she said.
She said, oh, do you think the cap could drop me on my house? And I'm like, well, where do you live? And it was like thirty minutes out of the way. And I'm like, I'm not paying for thirty minutes out of the way.
Got it?
And she was like, why just come to your place. I'm like, I got two dudes that are there, like, let me text them. And I am texting you, guys, Hey, wake up. I'm bringing a chick for you to tell you, dude, it's fight the curse. I fall asleep every.
Night at eight.
I said, hey, Minnie Wallow, Minnie Wallow, dude, get up, get up, there's a chick coming. You need to be downstairs waiting for this chick.
And we're tucked into our comforters, snoring. We're in our jammies. She's still in her steal at her heels and a skirt all the way up to her butt and she was wearing it the whole next morning. The whole next morning, we're in our jammies. We're like, so, how's it going.
So I bring this chick home and I go bang on, Hey, dude, guys, the girl's here.
The girls here, and.
They're like what, And I'm like, dude, there is a hottie downstairs.
How dumb are you? Guys? There's a blonde chick here. Dude. We thought it is a mid dream.
I said, there is a smoking, hot blondie downstairs that decided to come home with me because I had two roommates and she didn't.
I did.
I wasn't gonna pay for a cab for her to go thirty minutes. I don't understand how she got here. I'm not really sure how this transpired, but she is here. You guys want to wake up? No, man, no, no, get out, Get out of my room.
What trying to sleep?
Man?
We got bones in the morning.
Guys, there is a chick. Let me repeat myself. There is a chick downstairs.
I'm not asking you, guys, if you want pizza or chicken wings. I'm telling you there's a hot blonde. Damn it.
I'm not asking you if you want to cook me dinner. Man, I'm not asking that.
It's like I'm not asking for a favor. I'm giving you tom A's a favor.
I am trying to help you guys out in your life. Like, I am trying to help you guys, and you guys don't what shut the door? Oh okay, Now the question is how do I go explain this to this chick that they're not interested.
I just I believe if I'm going back ten years in my head, I think I just thought, there's no way she's hot. She's probably a nice girl. I'm tired. I don't feel like talking about the Bobby Bone Show for the next two hours to a fan. So I was like, all right, man, we'll see in the morning. So I just didn't think she was hot. I didn't see her. There may been a silhouette. I saw her, But I'm like, Okay, there's just no way he brought home this like nine blonde.
There's no way, I mean, but I still like, what was her thinking, Well, she was trying to find a bed so she didn't have to sleep on a counch with the dogs. No. No, what was her thinking going, well, I'll just come to Europe?
What like?
No, I'm not like, I I like that is how crazy that.
She thought you were a soft landing.
Maybe I was friend zone. No I wasn't. And I was like, well, I got a go over. But I got two dudes at the apartment, you know, like come on back, and and I don't know how she got home.
In the morning. Well, smash cut to the morning. We go downstairs and this girl's dressed to the nines and stiletto heels and she is hot on the couch. She's on the couch. She stuck with the dogs the night before. That's how stupid we are.
And the great party is never saw her again in our lives, No idea what happened to girl?
That girl was baserd never, never in a million years, would be able to pick her out of a lineup.
No idea. No she made listen to pod, Oh my god, that was me. And she may email us we are the sore losers at gmail dot com, but I doubt she's We're ever gonna hear from her again.
And please confirm in twenty and thirteen you were smoking hot, because that next morning I was like, good God, I've made a mistake because he definitely brought home a hot chick last night. But I'm just waking up and she's like hungover and ordering a cab and wondering where she is right now. So this is never gonna work. Out.
Yeah, and I don't know if she took a cab home, if we gave her a ride home, and.
Ray, I've lost track of the story.
No, And then my favorite part is, well she definitely was.
It wasn't uber days. So she ordered a yellow cab on the west side what east side of Nashville and went off to wherever she lived in Gallatin or whatever?
What a what a wild time and never saw her again, never saw her again. Nitton didn't have her phone number, didn't have anything, So I don't know she made it home. Okay, no idea, Ray.
We may have just sent her out on the street.
We could have, if we could have sent her off to you know, just be we could be the dumbest three dudes in the history of the planet turned down to the hot blonde who's.
Never been turned down before. And then we send her out up the streets because we all got work to worry about.
What I did.
I don't I don't feel like playing house, like get this.
Girl, like all right, girl, like I mean it's eight thirty, Like you're gonna have to go, Like thanks for coming, I'm sorry. These two guys were doing whatever they were doing in their bed and you guys you can just have to go like it's weird and it's like I'm watching.
A confirmed lunch though those texts though, when you said you were bringing a hot check home yet that was confirmed correct, she was definitely hot.
Yeah, And when you were baking on my door last night telling me there's a hot chick downstairs, like if one of you guys want to come downstairs, Yeah, sorry about that. We shouldn't ignored you. And so we do need confirmation from her that she was hot, like would you please send like an email member, Hey, I'm hot, because there's a girl that was it. We were we would run around with about twelve years ago when we moved here. One of the guys we worked with, shit mate.
He's no longer in our circle now, he's moved on, moved somewhere else. But he was hanging out with this chick and blonde. No, it wasn't.
I introduced him to her.
That blonde was gorgeous.
I pulled that blonde for him, that blonde was gorge He will go on record and say I pulled that blonde for him, and then they were a better fit. So I was like, y'all should chill but I'm not one that initiated that one.
Uh yeah, so no, he was this chick. I don't even remember her name right, her.
Name was Cinnamon.
No, but she had a friend with a first name that started with a sea, and they kind of do their thing, they hook up.
I know who you're talking you know I'm talking about you know, I'm about right. And she was so hot, yeah, so hot. She had just had a breast augmentation, large.
Just has a newly perf formed boob job, boob job.
And I mean they do their thing whatever, and I don't know, then never see her again, Like after whatever, you know, they do it for a few months and then bam, never see her again. Smash cut four years ago, parenthood in the suburbs.
Ding Ding, Ding Ray.
There is a kid in my in Baby Box two's class a daughter and we get invited to a birthday party at a swimming pool and I show up and the girl's like, hey, goodness, see how you been. And I'm like what. She was like, Oh, She's like I used to date shipmate, And I'm like what.
And her husband's right here, three kids running around, one kid, but the husband is right there, and I'm like and she goes, yeah, I used to go to the bars within him, and I'm like, whoa, this is don't don't no, no, no, why why say that to your husband?
This is gonna get awkward because you did go to the bars to me, but I had no like interaction with you.
How's it going, lunch bucks? Yeah, our old buddy used to throw it back with your wife.
Yeah, my buddy used to bend your wife over the bed. No, Like, I didn't know what to say.
We were friends with her before the boob job. How are you doing, Sarah?
We were there when they were done, like we knew her pre pre boom job. And then she got the boob job, and she came to the bar and I remember going here, you guys want to touch him, You want to touch him? Like it was wild. It was wild. And let me tell you.
What a time to be alive. How's it going, Zarah?
I will be honest, I would have never recognized her in a million years. And oh yeah, unrecognizable, unrecognizable, had no idea I saw one of those You hadn't really hung out with her at the bar at neighbors. It was during Alabama Tennessee game. She was wearing an Alabama I believe it was a sweatshirt, but it looked like a comforter. And with that, we're gonna take a break. We're right back. Well, dude, I mean we got to nothing that I was planned on talking about. But that
was amazing. I thought that was a funny one.
The next one that I have to talk it ends up not even mean a good story, but I have talked about the Bowling Alley.
Yeah, that'll be Uh you did that two weeks ago.
Man, right, and so we've built it up now. It's actually probably a terrible story, but it needs to be told. I just have to get it out, all right, Okay, but not now. The next one? What what we do?
This is for two weeks from now?
Wait, so you want me to tell it?
I was gonna do it.
Oh, I know you're talking about it doesn't matter, it doesn't matter.
Yeah, I told it already. Yeah that was funny. Oh my god, it doesn't even matter.
It doesn't matter. I'm not I didn't say that. I'm saying you told them two weeks ago and it was good back then. But did you want to retell it?
No? No, no, okay, all right, dude, that was crazy having that mental image because the girl you talked about exactly what I thought of her. The blonde couldn't pick her out of a lineup. The chick I saw at the neighbors bar I had hung out with her. You never really because I'd go to their pool in like Gallatin. You never went with me, so you wouldn't even know who I was talking about. But I'm talking massive shelf, bookshelf. But when I saw at the bar, holy crap, I
thought she was playing for at Bama. Really yeah, I mean, I mean I almost fell out. I don't know if a face you.
Think she was playing center or like offensive line or defense.
I don't know if a face tells a thousand words. But I came around the corner and I was like, whoa, Hey, I mean I pretty much looked the exact same.
I think I look pretty similar to what I've looked like my whole life.
You look spot on from the day I met you.
Yes, good, but you do you look to say you're a little less tan. Yeah, but besides that, you look exactly the same.
We think that we actually look like no.
No, a shallow. Here's the thing here, there's no way because I look at people.
You probably thought I looked all skagged out too, because I was all drunk. My eyes were like different angles.
I was at the trampoline park, and this is what I mean. You just see parents that I'm like, good God, they just don't like they look terrible.
Well, there is the point where you go, am I going to care? Or am I not going to care?
And maybe this dude has looked like this his whole life. Maybe he has, but I'm just telling you. He was in like a button up shirt, khaki pants.
He had it.
He had his computer sitting there on his lap, and I mean those pants were about to bust, and it just he looked so uncomfortable.
And I'm like, dude, okay, so he wasn't out of shape. He just went the nerd route as a parent, Yes, got it.
Like I'm like, dude, like, come on, like put something like you're coming to a trampoline park. Like you don't need to be in button ups and slacks at a trampoline park, even if you just got off work. Have a spare change clothes in the car, like, put some shorts on, put a T shirt on, like, look chill at a trampoline park he looks so out of place
with your button up and all uncomfortable. Looked like he couldn't even sit down, like he was so uncomfortable with these pants and clothes on, and all these sweaty kids running around. All these parents are sitting back with their shorts and T shirts and at leisure wear totally out of place, like know the room.
A lot of the SEC schools, that's how they dress though, Is that what it is? Yeah, even when they go to the trampoline park. Yeah, I mean the dude coldn't even get on a There's no way you get a trampoline on those clothes and you think about it, it's just mindless. You'd throw on the khakis, throw on the polo, don't have to think about what you're putting on. But yeah, he went the total nerd dork route.
See, because me, like, I look like crap everywhere I go. I wear the basketball shorts and a T shirt and tennis shoes all the time as a parent. When I'm going to school functions like if I'm going to the carnival, if I'm going to you know, kindergarten meet up, That's how I dress. These people that dress up for everything. I cannot understand it.
Well, we're at the best time that we grew up in the right era. Our parents used to wear jeans all the time. I couldn't tell you the last time I wore a pair of jeans. I'm wearing joggers right now.
Can I tell you something. I don't own a pair of blue jeans.
Dad wore them seven days a week.
I had one pair of blue jeans that I bought probably ten eleven, twelve years ago, and they got a hole in the butt, and so now I can't wear them. So I wear these little Columbus. I think they're what do they call it a joggers. I don't know what they're called. I don't know what brand, but they are so comfortable they might be they have to be Columbia anyway. I don't know what style of blue jeans are in, so if I went to the store to buy a pair of blue jeans, I wouldn't know what to wear.
Well, I'm gonna give your heads up. They're a little bit baggier now. They're that cane brown look at the award show. They're not bieber bagging.
Can I tell you, I don't know what that means, well, you know how you know what award show I've watched in the last three years, none of them.
The skinny jeans are no longer in. You have to have a little bit of bag to them now. But I'm with you, I would honestly probably have to upgrade a little bit. You can't go super holy. They just got to be a little baggy.
Yeah. So literally, like when someone's like, oh, just wear your blue jeans, I'm like, I don't have a pair of blue jeans. I don't know what is in style. I have no idea, so I don't even buy them.
For all the things we complain about our job, the beauty is don't have to have a tie, don't have to have a suit coat and baser always hit me if it's a funeral or a wedding.
What you don't have a tie?
Bazer? You know the industry I'm in, I don't have a damn tie. It's radio. We wear backwards hats and hoodies and we used to wear shorts, but now we gotta wear yeah, log pants.
I'm telling you, I as a kid, I saw people that wore like suits and shirts and ties, and I was like, that is miserable. I will never be able to do that.
If you could have told yourself from twenty years ago, hey, you're gonna be able to wear ath leisure to work, a USA soccer shirt, these Columbia jogger shorts. How excited would you have been?
Over the moon. But I knew it from a young age that's what I was gonna be able to do because I hated dressing up.
Yeah see, I always thought you'd have to dress up. If I could have told myself thirty years ago, this is what I was gonna be able to wear, I'd be so proud of myself.
It feels so amazing. And my wife, she said that two things she thought. She thought all guys shaved every day, and that all guys wore suits every day to work because her dad shaved every day. Any worse suit every day to work.
I thought the shaven every day was actually a thing. It's not. You can get away with like once a week, which is awesome, such amazing. Actually in radio once every two weeks, maybe.
Hey once every tree. You can do whatever you want.
Actually, I actually the only time I shame was with Babe, is like, hey, you really got to clean up your neck. You're looking homeless.
Yeah, I do the same. I look homeless. I'm like, dang, I need to shave, And then when I shave, I'm like, man, you look twenty five again. It's amazing. So I should shave more often, but I don't, And I'm glad. We talked a lot of sports guys have a great day rating thing you want to say parting words.
Yeah, sports guys. I don't really know how this is gonna fall. But I don't gamble anymore. But Kaitlyn Clark, it was at one point four times your money, then it moved to three times your money. It's dropping MVP. I mean, it's the easiest four time investment you're gonna have. It's better in bait point, better in Ethereum, it's better in Navidia. This is the investment you need, Kaylyn Clark to win the MVP. I've run the algorithms, crunch the numbers.
And what do you always say you gotta bet the future now? Is that?
Yeah, once you're in the future, it's too late to bet the future.
Bet the past.
Ray you'd be twenty twenty. Hindsights Justin says twenty twenty isn't actually hindsight, so the vision wise this is justin twenty fifteen is better than twenty twenty. So Justin goes Hindsight's twenty fifteen.
Oh my okay, doctor, Oh my gosh, why do we gotta get all technical? Like, why.
Hey, Hide Site Big twenty fifteen?
Oh you're hey, Justin? Sorry, you're so smart, man, You're so much smarter than I am. Goodness, it's twenty fifteen really is better? Yeah, then why do we say twenty twenty.
With Hide Site Big twenty fifteen.
I'm gonna start listen, Justin, I made fun of you, but if anybody ever says twenty twenty again, I'm like, you mean, twenty fifteen it better. I'm gonna use it. I'm gonna make funny of you right now, but if someone brings it up, I will say it all right,