I started it. Good man, Hey, this is it. Guys. We're headed down to Jamaica. Man, oh my goodness.
We have been waiting for this for weeks, days, months, and we are finally gonna hear about Jamaica.
Mon, Jamaica, you're Jamaican me crazy? After the break?
No, no, we're not taking We've been doing it for twenty six seconds. We're not telling to tease. We're not doing a break. But before we get to Jamaica, I mean I need to know like going into Jamaica, Like I need to know the process of Jamaica, getting to Jamaica. I need to feel what it's like to leave American soil and touch down in Jamaica. I need to know, like, do you have an early flight so right when you get in you can see the beautiful beaches, the sun
is still shining. Is it a nighttime flight? So you have to wait to enjoy Jamaica till the next day? This I need to set the scene in this first you know, little segment, I would say, instead of dropping right into the Jamaica story, I need to know how we got there.
I want to set the mood. Yeahn mon, they have land, trees and sun just like us. No third world country, Ray, how poor really are they? That's not what I'm saying. I got you. We hit the airport late. Oh you gotta you see this all right, I'm telling you now.
No, We'll start the show and then we got to get into it. Like then I want to know, like, bags packed early? Are you panic packing?
What am I? That's a stupid question.
That's a dumb question, cause you're already freaking out about other things.
Ray, Is it a rush like a kidnapping? No? No, no, no, dude, just packing for an airport man.
No, because me, I panic pack and I packed like an hour before my flight. That sounds kinky, Like I just my time management skills are not the best. And we've talked about it on this pod, like when we're planning coaches conventions, I'm always like, yeah, I'm.
Gonna get it done. I'm gonna get it done. We're gonna get it done early, early, early, early.
And then hasn't really happened that way. So that's what I was referring to. But let's just start the show and then I'll explain we're.
Gonna do it live. We oh the one two three sore losers, fum Jamaica.
What's up, everybody? I am lunchbox. I know the most about sports.
Suck.
Give it the sports facts, my sports opinions, because I'm pretty much a sports genius, y'all.
It says, and I'm from the North with this show, I'm from Jamaica. Min and I got landmine two point three through the three acres Mine I lived with my wife Mon. Justin is supposed to be looking after our kid Mon at Vanderbilt Man, but Justin moved to Michigan Men for the foreseeable future Man, which is thousands of miles away from Jamaica and thousands of miles away from nash Tennessee. Mon. Over to you, Mon, but probably then back to me. Mon.
Yeah, So as you're headed out for Jamaica, are you packed? Days in advanced?
The Beazer is because she works from home and she's able to do that. Oh, pack a hat one day, bra the next, panies thong, you know, so she's me. I would almost say, what is it? What'd you call it?
Panic packing?
Kinky panic? Nope, Nope, panic packing? So like, yeah, I'll like kind of foreplay like choke myself in panic and then pack that hour before. Okay, I'm similar to you. I'm doing laundry at two am in the morning if we're leaving at five like you. That's how I pack. And my wife hates it.
It drives her nuts that I just am like, ah, you know, I'll get ready. We've got to be at the airport in three hours. I'm like, yeah, so that's putty of time to do two loads of laundry. Figure out what I need, put it in a suitcase, and we can roll it to the airport. That drives her insane. So you aren't panic your panic packing veyas packed? Do you bring sunscreen or do you buy sunscreen?
Fully loaded? Used about one bottle of the ten. So remember that, guys, for the cruise and for the next convention, you don't need all the sunscreen you're gonna pack.
Okay, And so how are you going airport? Is Phil taking you? Are you driving? Leaving your vehicle?
You ubering? What's the plan getting to the airport? Bring our vehicle and VIP park where you park right next to the airport. Rich, Rich don't ever let Baser do it because there's no turnback. Once you give a street cat satin sheets, they never go back to the street. We learned that if you take an uber, it's just awkward, and that's not how you want to come back to America their exit or entrance. And then also when you park there, you realize you still pay eighteen a day.
If you VIP, it's twenty eight. It's ten dollars more a day for VIP. They warm your car, they wash the thing. Heck, god, the guy farts in the seat before you get there. It's great. You get off the airplane and your car's waiting for you.
It is pretty fantastic. I used to do one of those services, you park off property, and we had a deal with the station here in one of the companies, and so they would wash your car and they would have it started and they would shuttle would pick you up, drive you right to your car. Boom, You're in and out in five minutes. Placement, belly up. It's no longer there. So now I just pay the outrageous prices that it costs to park at the freaking airport.
Well, you know who taught me that, coach Ah He said, Hey, dude, nobody knows about it. You can park right there and you live like a celebrity. And it's not very expensive. I did it one time when I was going to Florida.
My family was already down there and we were working and we were gonna be.
Sit Friday and Saturday Sunday.
I was going after the show Friday, and I mean I had a flight at one point thirty and we were at the building till twelve thirty and I had to get on the airplane. The plane was leaving Nashville in one hour from when we said, okay, everybody have a good weekend. And I drove so fast to the airport, like I mean so fast. No, no, no, there was a fire truck. I hit the fire truck.
Well it's this thing. Oh never mind, we don't need that.
There was a fire truck with its lights on, and I was passing it on the highway because I did not want to miss my plane. And I said, that is a bad sign. When I'm driving that fast to get to the airport.
Why'd you pass me? Why'd you get it? Give me a ticket? I don't know. You passed a fire truck with its lights on.
And I pulled up to this VIP You got me, this VIP thing that you are talking about, and I said, hey, man, I need a ticket. I need a ticket. He said, oh, sir, you got to wait in line. You know what I mean, there's two cars in front of you. I said, Man, I'm gonna miss my flight. He goes, sorry, Man, I said, I'll just leave the car the keys on the seat. Do you really want to just leave your car there with the keys on the seat.
Yeah.
I was like, yeah, I'll just find it when I get back fin to find out. I'll just find it when I get back pull up. He goes, you think it's gonna be just that easy. We'll just be able to find the car where the guy didn't take a ticket.
Dude, you argue with everybody. I don't even say but one word to the VIP person keys high see us Sunday.
I was in such a hurry that I was gonna miss the flight that I was just gonna leave the keys, not even get a ticket, and figure.
It out when I got back fin to find out.
And then I pulled out a ten dollar bill or twenty dollars bill, and he goes, oh, here's your ticket right now. Boom made the flight, but go ahead, so you're gonna park it VIP.
Sorry, we're not even out of the airport. Dude, I know this Jamaican story is gonna be a two parter. So you go and right you go to day d No, No, are you.
Flying out in the morning or the evening the afternoon? What time are you leaving Nashville?
This trip was so long ago. Let me go back in my head. I believe it's always early flights. So yes, it was wee hours of the morning. We probably left at six am, thank you.
I just want to know what it's going to be like when we get to Jamaica. Is it going to be daytime?
Well, that's the problem. It was gonna be where we could sneak in one hour of sunlight. Well, in Florida, because we had connecting flights, we hit a bird. We had to return back to Orlando or Miami or Fort Lauderdale, one of the three, don't know, had about three times that many drinks, and so then we were delayed and
we didn't get in probably till ten pm. No, so we couldn't squeeze in the hour of sunlight and we couldn't even do a dinner mon So that's also where we got the pro tip that sometimes you go a day before your reservation, cause you still get charged for that day. Oh mon, that's rough. Mon. Oh I'm only there for five bangers, so we almost got four and a half. I had no idea that there was travel
delays because of birds, that's what he said. He said, because of it maybe blocking the engine that we had to turn around. And so then you go back to the airport and of course on body and drinks. How many can you squeeze in? I told Bazer minimum an hour and a half. They fixing like forty minutes. I was still at the bar. I ran back onto the flight as it was basically pulling off. Been there, Been there?
I said, Uh, well, first of all, reception isn't good in the airport, and never got your texts, and holy crap, did not know mister Coxter here that that pilot was gonna be able to fix an engine with a seagull in it in forty minutes. Props to him. Hey, oh, where's my seat? Oh it's not reserve. Still this is actually before the fact when you could have a reserve seat. Now it was fill in. Maybe got lucky sat next to it. Nobody sat in the front seats because it
was a bigger dude. Ah, So we sat next to a bigger dude and he was a recovering alcoholic. I said, I'm in recovery too, gambling addict, and he goes, here's my drink tickets. So the whole time we're body and drinks right next to this guy recovering from it. Wow, and he was doing Discord. He was on some crazy wacky stuff on his Internet. But we got great seats and two drink tickets all because we sat next to the big dude. What was he head to Jamaica for?
He wasn't going to Jamaica, so that actually might have been the flight to floridakank got it. I was gonna say that dude did not go to Jamaica with us. He was, Uh, it would have been burnt like a crab. Dude. That guy got off in Florida at some Discord convention. He be a beached whale. You know what now that you bring it up. He wasn't going to cho Rio. He hadn't seen the sun in like two years. He wasn't going to montegobeimn all right mine? Oh none?
Oh that's funny. Mone So you get to Jamaica. Tell me about getting Jamaica. What's it feel like?
Is it hot? Is it like?
Tell me about Jamaica. What's the everybody friendly? Right when you get off the plane, Hey, welcome to Jamaica.
Mon, come on, I believe we're in the vicinity of about ten drinks each at that point. I remember getting off the plane and this dude was talking my ear off and he was telling me about this Negrill, Gotta go to Nogrill. He had like his sorority daughter and fraternity son next to him, his wife. It almost looked like the people from the show That's Amazing where they're in Europe and they go to Taiwan and it's my
favorite show, White Lotus. Yeah, it was exactly like that family. Okay, And so he's guy's going crazy, looks like a stock trader. The wife looks stressed out and she's on pills maybe, and but he goes, got to go to Negril. It's amazing. I go, well, we're actually going to Ocho Rio, so we're not even going into Garril, but he's still pitching me on Nogrill. I guess like we got to check
out Negril next time. So remember that. And then immediately once we get through whatever you're going through customs, there's a BMW waiting to pick us up, basically with a bow on it, and the guys were in a Santa hat. Let's go. I got the pick on the gram. I can't wait. And so that's it that we did. You could have paid I want to say, one hundred dollars for a bus with twenty other sweaty Americans now or one hundred and fifty for a VIP be what happened
to be a bm W carr, I'll do that. Yeah, And so dude is amazing, except for Baser gets with emotional with the dude because he's away from his family on Christmas. It was Christmas Day. Oh, and so basic was, I'm so sorry you have to drive us, Laura, Baser, it's his job. Let him and he goes, yeah, I'm just happy to make money. That's awesome, and she was, I'm so sorry we're taking you away from your family, Baser,
it's his job. And so I'm sure we tipped the dude forty dollars after we had already paid him like one hundred and fifty. So you paid extra for the parking at the airport. You paid extra for the transportation. You are rich, rich, okay, but we save up for this. We don't go on vacation on the cheap. If we do it, we've already put an entire five paychecks towards it. We get it. You're like, you're trying to be like Joe from Sarasota. I get it.
I understand trying to impress your hot young wife.
I got it. And it's also one of those things that there was no gambling there, so and you weren't allowed to tip there. Oh yeah, it was some resorts. How terrible. Well, because some resorts it's a known Oh you gotta tip the maids or the cleaning people. You got to tip the bar guy, the bar keep, the bar back, the restaurant person at your table at breakfast, two dollars, person that turns down your bed two dollars. This one. They said no tipping or people get fired.
So we still bring five hundred because we're gonna tip people on the slide, you know. Yeah, and so the obviously a BMW guy boom, You've just want it. You've been blessed, you've been sided. And so two minutes outside the airport, were stopping getting some tree. He stopped just for a minute, comes back with an entire shrub. We're never gonna burn through all that. Maybe all we need is a leaf, you know what I mean? Got it and so got it on. Like we've already made two
terrible bit money decisions. We give this dude a forty dollars tip when he's already getting paid. Look at him. He's driving a better vehicle than us in America. Like, seriously, the dude was driving up beams a BM dumbs dirt was it a no, it wasn't it? Bends is a BMW and the baser I drive a trailblazer from twenty years ago. Good gosh, you don't have to tip the man. And he was an absolute blast and a vibe. But it's dark, so we're not really able to see. You
can see some lights up in the hills. That is what Jamaica is cool for. You can see the hills, you can see the shanties, you can see the third world country where in Costa Rica you can see that too.
I would say I'm staying out of Costa Rica, man, surfer dude, Uh.
Huh, but uh, Places like Aruba and what's in a Turks and Caicos and Dominican Republic. There's no hills, so you're just seeing flat at night. You're not gonna see anything this. You're seeing the lights, you're seeing what makes it. You know, you're seeing a family, you see bolt, you saying, yeah, seeing flags they're proud of Jamaica there. But yeah, so you're seeing some stuff thanks to the hills. But it's about an hour and a half drive from this airport.
Oh my gosh, I'm passing out.
And I still don't even know what airport we flew into. Either it was Montego Bay or Ocho Rio, because Ocho Rio is right next to where we're at, so I'm pretty sure we flew into Montego Bay. That's why the flight or the drive was an hour and a half. And the guy at the pool, I'd already told that story, remember his wife, Yeah, very attractive, massive mountain range. They
were hammered left the rolexes at the pool. I kept telling the guy that we flew into Ocho Rea, and I told him our our drive was an hour and a half. He probably thought I was crazy because it's probably it's like a five minute drive.
Yeah, he probably thought this dude done.
I told in dude the wrong airport for an entire conversation of five hours. It happens.
Man, you're not supposed to know. You're not you're not Jamaica familiar. You know, you're new.
He goes what you went to? You went to Ocho Rio. Yeah, yeah, we flew in there. Huh. Yeah, it was an hour and a half drive. You went to Ocho Rea. Yeah, you know, mamboo up top, open wide air, you know, not a lot of flights. Yeah, yeah, we got to take a break. But that guy was so confused. We're still in the car driving to the resort and we haven't got to the resort yet. We're at the resort. We just got there. We just got there, and they just walking with open arms or what we did? Make
one more pitstock, let me hear it. Bazer didn't know how to properly plant the tree, got it? So that guy helped plant the tree while I went to this little dive bar all by myself with American money and there's ten people at the bar look at me like we hate American. Oh so I didn't the love from Jamaica, does it happen till you get to the resort up until then, it's a crowd that knows like three words, we hate American. I roll up to this bar, hot, I got American money, I want some drink, I want
some red stripe. I have eight eyes looking at me, and all of them are saying we hate American. They're not your best friend.
Huh No, you were Wait, host, so you're telling me you were walking in thinking sits in ray Boondamon, that's what you were thinking. You were thinking it was gonna be open arms, arms.
Wide open, and what's that song with arms? What open? The love Mone was in the BMW when we got picked up. The love Mone is at the resort, Mon. But when I was at the dive bar Mone, just trying to get a red strip. Man, they probably overcharged me twenty dollars because I think I gave them a twenty and it was like a dollar beer there because their prices are really cheap. Yeah, and it didn't get money back and then yeah, yeah, yeah, they weren't very
kind to me there. Oh that's unfortunate, and that was really my first I'm in Jamaica, mon Oh, I hate mon. Bob Marley man, hey, you was same boltmn we hate American Oh like you walked in and then the er the music stopped. Yes, and so then then we got out of there, got into BMW. Everything was properly planted and we were ready ahead of the resort.
Baby, I love it when you pull the resort. Is there a gait?
I saw it on the way out, not on the way in. Things were a little blurry. I'm in and out of consciousness. Got it not really that intense, but I things are a little fuzzy. Okay, there wasn't a gait. Saw it on the way out, but yeah, we roll up and it's just it's beautiful. The Christmas lights. There's presents, Christmas trees lining the row, and there's a huge soldier, a Christmas soldier from oh you know, from all the
stories that we used to read as kids. They made us feel like it was a tropical Christmas the minute we were there. We're at the resort. We need to take a break down.
When we're gonna go to the front desk, we're gonna check in. We're gonna come back and tell you the rest of Jamaica.
The rest of the story is where we're gonna meet after the break, Teddy Bear, Teddy Bear after this. So anyways, this teddy Bear character, So we had actually landed and airported and taxied and got all the way to the resort and what do we need a nightcap? So you're talking espresso Martini's, and we didn't know precisely where the location was where you could go get those nice resort but it's not really signs. They try to make it
look all sexy. So we're just kind of looking around when the corner, this dude comes out and he goes, hey, are you guys looking for Espress with martiniz Mon. We go, well, yeah, yeah, yeah, we are, and he goes, I know min in this really nice place. Man, it's just right around the corner. I'll show you. Man. And I said, thank you so much, sir. What is your name? And he goes, what teddy Bear? Man, what are you doing? I started, why, you idiot? I
only did thirty seconds, you idiot. You didn't miss anything. I'm did thirty Now I'm all thrown off. Man. I did thirty seconds, mon, But why would you do that? Mon?
I was sitting there just waiting for you, and I heard you do your whistle. But I thought that means you were getting a drink doing something. And I look in here and he's talking about Teddy Bear.
I did it to piss you off. Nah, you do piss me off? Man just confused me. More like it.
Like there's no I'm not angry. I'm just like, huh so, uh yeah, I will go. I guess I'll just yeah, how long we been doing this now?
Twenty twenty, twenty twenty hell of the documentary?
Ray, I don't even know one forty oh my god?
Whatever? So why not just say, hey, lunch, I'm ready? Man? Is this exact reason to piss you off? No? No, No, do I sound pissed off? No? I just did it to see how long I could tell the story before you came in here.
I was just like, man, Ray went to the bathroom, and it's been gone a while. I guess I'll wander down there and see if he's back.
Oh, he's already talking. It's in use, the mics are on, and I did it to show the listeners that I could do a show without you. Oh so for forty seconds. They learned that. That's pretty impressive. That's pretty impressive.
So are you gonna reekapit or am I just gonna have to catch up?
Dimly lit resort. It was nine pm and we needed a night cap. We wanted an espresso Martini. Out of the corner comes this guy, Teddy bear Man, I'll show you where espresso Martinis Armand did he work at the hotel or was he a guest? Yes? Had the name tag, white shirt pants. And so we go to the espresso bar and it's kind of hidden bookshelves and all that. We would have never found it.
Wait, wait, wait, there's a special bar for no spress.
Yeah, Espresso martiniz Expresso Martinis. Got it. But remember you can't tip these people. So we get there and me and Baser combined have probably put enough drinks down to float a boat, but we're still feeling pretty good. We remember it all, you know, I'm just saying, but if you think about it, heavy travel day, heavy drinking. Yeah, and we got the free drinks on the flight from that dude that was a recovery.
Right, that was doing his sheets.
And so we go to this Espresso Martini bar and what do you think Baser is already doing the tipping. Hey, I'm I'm bartender. You were so amazing here here. I know you guys can't take tips. I'm gonna slip you this. So she slips the bartender forty dollars Teddy Bear. We don't know precisely the exact amount, but between one hundred and one hundred and fifty dollars. We tipped Teddy Bear for showing you where the bar is. Have you ever met us when we're drunk. We're the nicest people in
the world. And Payser thinks that everybody's buller, Sir, this kid probably has a condo and he was so nice. How far did he walk you? Like two stairs us to the Bobby Boncho studio. Oh my gosh. But it was a greate espresso martini. And so we wake up the next morning we thought we got robbed. We realized we tipped Teddy somewhere between north of one hundred and south of two hundred, and that is where the story starts. Teddy Bear, Teddy Bear.
So I'm assuming that Teddy Bear, after that tip is gonna be in your hip pocket all weekend, all week.
So over the next four days, if we were at a brunch, oh hey, Teddy Bear, if we were at a pool, Hey, teddy Bear, how have you guys been doing mine? Good man? Good mon? Hey, I have my dj tonight, mon. Would you want to swing by and listen to my music? Man? Maybe maybe we will after dinner. Hey, man, Remember I'm DJing tonight. Man, I'll see you guys later. Thanks, min Yeah, just let me know the following morning. Oh. Sorry, we didn't come, dude, it was late at night. It
didn't come. It's okay, man. Later on today, Mon, we're putting together skid out here in the plaza. You should come by and see. Man. I'll be one of the dancers. Okay. Oh that sounds good, Thank you. Teddy Bear. Yeah, Man, no worries. Man. If it was a pool, if it was a brunch, if it was a after dinner, if it was just walking around Teddy Bear, teddy Bear. Oh hey, teddy Bear, teddy Bear, teddy Bear, teddy Bear. That leads me to the climax of teddy Bear. So why is
teddy Bear being nice to it? Like? Why why? Because you chipped him so much money? Get in here, Scooba. I'm only in the middle of a Jamaica story, Teddy Bear. Man, Teddy Bear spots But then you remember there's mentions in the podcast too, got it. I don't know where you're doing.
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, we'll talk about that. Man, this we're in Jamaica. Mon, they won't be able to make it to Demolition Derby. Yeah, Demolition Derby. You know we're the week of two twenty three.
All right, we got it.
It's gonna be in Shelby Built, Tennessee, March eighth at Cooper Steele Arena.
Come see me.
If you're in Jamaica right now, You're not gonna be able to get there, but hey, come on.
Let's do it. So are we taking a breaker? I can? I can roll real now, you can.
Roll real quick.
So the final pool day, I mean, Teddy Bear has been there for everything. I would say shy of being in the bedroom with us for naughty time. He has seen us do everything. He has been on every pool chair with us, He's been on every inflatable. Will be actually in the water and he's hanging over the edge. Teddy Bear was a threesome. We were a thrupple with Teddy Bear the entire trap. Come to the last day. Why is Teddy Bear being so nice to us? Why?
Because the big tip that's one of them. But then also, and that's obviously not the answer. I know you want to know it. No, No, I know that. Why is he being so nice to us? It's not the money. I tricked you. That's how a good host tricks you. That was really not because of the money. This is a good crime pocket. It's like a plot twist.
And so I'm gonna say he was really nice to you because he thought you like to cluck.
No incorrect answer. So the final pool day, I'm severely hungover, but I'm still drinking. Naturally, it's a vacation yet, and so they're bringing red stripe lights. We were doing these mud slides. Baser probably did a Bob Marley at one point. There was a blue drink that I told you about, the Coral blue. We're mixing all these. I'm so hungover. I'm trying to check NFL scores. It was on Sunday. I mean, I'm shaking. I can barely pull up Oh, Patriots are winning again. Okay, got Oh, Titans are down
by fifty got it. I can barely scroll my phone, much less do the request that Teddy Bear was about to come up with. Teddy Bear rolls over. Oh on, So it's okay, don't worry. You didn't come to any DJ set of mine over the last four.
Days, even though I invite you bond, mone, I invite you this, I invite you that you don't come to nothing.
Mone I thought we friends mon every night at elevep hit a DJ set. We never went once, got invited two hundred times. So you could have seen the next dead mouse. And you have no idea. Teddy was on the sacks of wax every night at the Whiskey Club, and it was always raging till two. I tell Teddy, we really really don't stay out late. But Teddy, Man, it's okay, Man, don't even worry about it. Man. Hey,
let me ask you this one favor. Mon. So if you go on Man, if you go on trip Advisor, Man there, Man, you can fill out Man that I was good to you. Man. You can say, how oh Teddy bear Man at this resort. Make sure you name the resort Man was exceptional. Man. Man, If you do this for me, Mon, you just say Teddy Barra Man Dun's river Mon. Then Man, that's how we get promotions. Man. If we get enough Trip Advisor good comments and positive feedback. Mane that's how you go level up, man. So you
guys would help me level up man. So he wants us to do these Yelp and trip Advisor things. Ah, so aforementioned bro, I'm shaking so bad. I couldn't even pull up X and be like Teddy Bear said, into the world, I'm shaking so bad, and so Baser bless her soul. She has to with decent Wi Fi, has to download trip Advisor, she has to download Yelp, she has to download Google Messenger comment on trips, and she
has to fill out one hundred and forty characters. So say you say Teddy Bear was comfortable and just a big old teddy Bear. That's like twenty Baser had to write four paragraphs on every one of these apps for this dude. Sometimes she would run out it. She'd be at one hundred and she'd just do a bunch of emoji smiley faces. I go, Baser, bless your soul, because I can't even function right now to get on my
phone right now in this tropical paradise because I'm recovering. Okay, I'm actually gonna give up drinking because holy crap, the effects are brutal but besery for an hour and a half, probably at the pool on our final day. Teddy Bear is on our lily pad and our pool bed that we paid one hundred and fifty dollars for, camped out the entire afternoon waiting for Baser to do all these comments and all these different apps and stuff. Oh my gosh, So that could be the end of the story.
Oh I thought that was it. I thought, Okay, he's got proof, he's gonna leave you alone.
The end of the story really is, don't ever tip these people when they say not to tip, because holy crap, that got annoying talking to teddy Bear every single time of the day if regardless of where the sun was in the sky, teddy Bear was twenty feet away from us. And did she do them a favor. Yes, they can also get in trouble for it at these resorts. And she snuck the bartender twenty So hopefully that espresso bartender never got fired. Hopefully teddy Bear never got fired. And
that's the lesson there. But all that to say this, I think teddy Bear actually did get fired because so Baser filled it all that stuff, did all the comments. Whatever we did this stuff for him, and then we finally got rid of him. Well, he comes over and he gives me a shotglass. It says Jamaica on it.
Yeah, and it said teddy Bear's last day.
I go, thank you, teddy Bear, thank you so much. This is no lie. This is a dead god's on his true story. I take this shotglass and we wanted to go play Bingo. Why not do a pool side Bingo? Why not we go over there? You couldn't the universe couldn't have written this up any better. The host of Bingo, what is his name? Teddy Bear? The host of Bingo's name is Ray. Oh, and so when we all introduced each other, who do you think he's gonna know and look at and be the most memorable Ray the guy
that has the same name as him, Ray correct. So the entire time he's saying Ray this, Ray that, Oh, Ray, how are you doing? Ray? Well? I took the shot glass that Teddy Bear had given Slash stolen and he goes, Ray, how did you get that shotglass? We haven't even played the game yet, and I go, I got it from teddy Bear. Teddy Bear came over and we were like helping him out and he's like, here you go, here's a free shotglass. The only reason he gave a crap
about me is because my name was Ray. In this universe where the host names Ray and teddy Bear stole a shotglass and gave it to me. It was the same shotglass that they gave at Bingo if you won. I learned that five minutes later when I won and I said big go and Ray comes over and hands me the same shotglass that teddy Bear had already stolen for me. And it was then confirmed that teddy Bear stole a shot glass to thank us for all the reviews.
But that stolen shotglass may have sealed his fate. So I don't know if teddy Bear got the promotion and leveled up or if teddy Bear got fired. And I will hang up and listen. Wow, that is a story from Jamaica, and that Jamaica shotglass, hot stolen piece of merchandise is sitting on our table in Nashville, Tennessee. Right now. That's dude.
That's beautiful, dude. That was a great storytelling. That was worth the wait. And we'll take a break.
What's the time thirty two eight?
Man, do you have any more. You have one more story from Jamaica.
Told you about the tree when we landed?
Yeah, you told us about the Uh yeah I could. I could say that the how you got a strike on the catamaran. You told that at the live pod.
Well then no, the tree. I can tell you about the tree, just because I had alluded to it earlier.
Thank you.
So we had the tree that we had got five minutes off again now for Jamaica plane because Bazer had hurt seen on the movies about this tree. So we got a Jamaican tree. Got it? Okay, So we got the Jamaican tree. And I'm telling you, they brought me an entire bushel that I could put in the front of my house. It was that much. And I go, Baser, I'm not particularly fond of tree. I probably won't even touch the tree. I know you'll touch the tree like
one time, just to say that you did. So the I'm carrying this app bush shrub that most people would put in front of their house and I'm just having to lug it around Jamaica. It was that much. Huh. It wasn't a leaf, it wasn't a stem. It was an absolute hedge that you see at the Georgia Stadium between the hedges. Oh yeah, I know those, And so what do you know? We bring it to our hotel room and we're hiding this tree because it's so big. And then why don't we just throw it in the trash?
You ask, why don't you just throw in the trash?
Why? Dude, I'm the most paranoid person you know. I would never want to risk getting caught and throwing this tree in the trash. So every single morning and night, we're shifting the tree. Sometimes we put it in here. Sometimes we wonder, does that tree smell weird? Maybe we should put on the patio. I'll put the tree on the patio for a second. So the tree shifted from the patio to one of my bags to that tree is just too much in my backpack. I don't want
it in there. So the tree went to a suitcase. The tree went to a drawer. What if we just go to a trash can and put the tree in downstairs? There's cameras. Why would I I'm not doing that. I'm paranoid. I'm not gonna go put the tree in a trash. I'm not putting it in my own trash man, you're in Jamaica. So the final day comes and we still have this freaking tree that Baser out of an entire beautiful evergreen. She had one pie needle of got it.
Thanks Bazer, Glad we paid one hundred dollars for a tree that we didn't even use to shade us but for five minutes. And so the very final day, I just left the tree in our trash can in our room.
And we're nervous the whole time.
Well, and the reason we had to wait until March eighth is because I had to wait and see if we were gonna get seized or in trouble or get fined by the hotel. We got all our money back, We never got in trouble. All is good. So now I can tell the story March eight about the tree that we had in our room. That's why we had to wait till March eighth. Wow, the government, local city policeas they never came down on us. They may have saw the t in the trash, knew that we were Americanos.
They didn't care. They forgave, They threw away the tree. All is good.
I gotta be honest. I literally thought they loved trees.
In Jamaica. They do, but I don't think you can just outwardly have tree everywhere.
I just assumed that Jamaica was a tree friendly environment, and I mean that's just me maybe being ignorant.
I have no idea, but I just ohm on reggaemon.
I thought that was the whole culture of Jamaica. I don't know anything about Jamaica.
Though hopefully I told you enough so now you do know something about it. One more piece of advice. Yeah, please. There was these did Jamaican rum. I was well. I drank it over ice one night and it was god awful. I'm not a rum drinker, but we met these dudes from Chicago. They were very good friends, got it and they said the rum was amazing. That to the point that every day I may have told this already, that
every day they would hide their rum bottles. Every You get a eight ounce rum bottle in your room after the cleaning staff came through every day, really, so they would hide the eight ounce bottle and they would smuggle back eight eight ounce bottles back to Chicago because you can't buy rum there or something.
It's just a different type of rum. It tastes better. Maybe fresh from the tree of Jamaica.
It's got awful. So the rum ain't worth smuggling back. The tree is just too branchy. It ain't worth smuggling back. So if you went in our room on the final day, there was a trash can full of tree tree and half drank rum, but it ain't worth bringing back.
So yeah, man, So do you still talk to your friends from Chicago? No, bees are really good friends.
The mom actually almost looked like Nancy Guthrie. Oh, and so she was really sweet and Bezer was friends with her. And so their final breakfast. Uh, I hate that the story includes me being hungover again, but I'm eating breakfast and Baser goes, how were you guys? How are you? How was Dun's River Falls? That was good? Oh my gosh, how did you guys like you last night? The performance? It was good. I didn't even barely talk to the two guys that were really good friends or best friends. Yeah,
and their mom. I bought her it. I got her a diet coke and that was it. I had maybe two minutes of conversation with him. Baser act like it was our grandmother that she was talking to. Huh, So there our goodbye was me at the breakfast, say, look, yeah, great, great meeting you guys. Enjoy Chicago. I don't care. I will never talk to you again. Have a good one. Yeah, they're there or they are left smuggling eight bottles of mini rum.
Did you go BMW back to the airport? Did you go to the beach at all? Like, is the beach like right outside your thing?
Yeah? Yeah, the beach was. I'm talking footsteps, that's how we wanted it. Okay, south beach. It was almost south beach. I would almost say fifty yards to the beach, oh, which was a little too annoying to go do it. Yeah, this one I could throw like Arnold could throw a football and hit the water from where our pool was.
Okay, and he's got kind of a noodle arm, so.
That's what I'm saying. But yeah, it was right there, and no BMW. On the way back, we did a van with a bunch of other people, and they were very slow. So anytime we'd get off, okay, guys, hour and a half ride, we're at the bathroom for we got ten minutes here, guys. For eight of the minutes I was waiting for the people with canes and wheelchairs to get off the bus. Yeah, so that's probably why you do private transfer. Yeah, that's cool. I'll just go
to the bathroom for one minute. I can. I'll pitch it. Yeah, no worries, no worries, you know what I'm saying. Joking a little bit, it'll cut off. I'll be back every time. And then when we got off, we get off at the airport. Here you go. I mean, not like we were cutting it close, but we had about our forty five until our flight, you know, us paranoid.
Oh my gosh, our forty five? Dude, how are you doing.
The guy goes, all right, we are here at the airport. You guys, thank you so much. Man, thank you for coming to Jamaica. Mine enjoy it. Mine see you later. Man. And we sit there and nobody's in a rush to get off the bus, and where our seats are would be very rude to cut in front of everybody, So we just sit there and they just slowly get up like they're at a DMV. I mean, they were in no hurry to live life. You gotta respect it. But good gosh, do a private transfer because I mean we're
sitting there ten minutes then getting their bags. Holy crap, that process. I'm like, guys, give them a tip. Think that the guy drove the bus for ten minutes. You don't ear an hour and a half. You don't need to talk. They're like, thank you so much. And then where was that that we passed through? Okay, guys, get your bag and get to the airport. The vacation's over.
You're not gonna go visit that spot you just drove by because it's over.
Did the hurricane when it came through? Did it hit they clipped a little bit. Oh my, the guy lost his house and you're asking him about him like it's a tourist destination. Those houses that are half built was that because of the hurricane? What I did notice is, dude, it's bizarre construction there. You would see eighty percent of the house of they're half built mansions. So they either don't get the supplies or they run out of money. Run out of money, they just leave it half built.
The entire drive and then the shacks and shanties that you do see. They got the Jamaican flag up, proud of their country. That's cool, man. Did you see where Bolt lived? Anybody talk about Bolt. Yeah, I would bring him up and there was no language barrier. They spoke English, and they didn't really talk about Bob Marley and they didn't really talk about Bolt. So there must be a new up and comer we don't know about in Jamaica.
Sounds like a good trip, man, Teddy Bear. Though. That's why I keep looking behind me, see if Teddy Bear is there? Dude, I started flinching around this seconto last day. He was every time we come down to Brunt, there's Teddy Bear. Eh mon, how was your sleep? How do you think it was, Teddy Bear? Just like any other sleep. I put my head on the pillow, pulled the covers over me, and slept just like I have the four previous nights. Teddy Bear, Oh man, you guys have a
good brunch. What are you gonna do them on? Some eggs and bacon? Yes, Teddybear, we're American. We don't do any of the other stuff. We're gonna go strictly cut and dry, the same thing we've gotten the four days previously. Ah, Man, have you tried man the orange juice machine? Man? You punch it down? Man on listen, Teddy Bear, we just do the minute made. I don't need you to operate this orange juice machine, even though it's pretty awesome. They
crush the oranges in front of you. Oh it is straight from the orange.
You would tell you a fresh squeezed orange juice game changer.
That was actually one of the cooler things Teddy Bear showed us. Other than that. Hey man, if you tried the plantain, man it it's good mix. No, not Teddybear. Like I said on day one, all we do is eggs and baky and a little waki and then uh maybe maybe some coffee and maybe a mimosa. That same thing we've done the last four days, teddy Bear. Thank you, Teddy Bear. Oh man, I'll see you guys later on. Still looking behind him, see if teddy Bear is back there, dude,
I swear to God. During the convention, I thought Teddy Bear was gonna come. That'd been awesome if Bazer invited him on the low down low? Did I save a picture?
Question? I got a question right, Jamaica, would you go back out of ten?
What are we talking, Jamaica? Is I go the same the same exact resort? It was phenomenal. It was it was tops right now because the people are so freaking nice. The dive bar. Did they treat me bad? Yes, but dude, they were actually so genuinely awesome. And obviously they you know, they're kissing the ring. The one guy goes, dude, you must be cool ass back in America, right, and I'm like yeah, yeah, he's like, dude, you're freaking hilarious. Man.
You know. Then they're talking about it and they're like, and then like, your chick back in America, she's like the hottest. I'm like, yeah, she's like supermodel. They believe whatever you tell them. I'm like, yeah, yeah, I'm on a radio show and there, Oh you host it. I'm like, I'll never hear it. Yeah, I'm the host of it. They thought it was the host of a radio show and my wife was a Victoria's Secret model.
I'm gonna text my wife right now say hey, let's uh, let's set uh, let's sit in Jamaica.
Where are we at? Dude?
That's good man, Hey.
Dude, what the heck have I been doing? Bro? I don't know. I think that was a great pod. Dude.
I think you can wrap it, you can hit the button. I don't know what they're not going to see the picture right now. We'll just post on socials if we have it. If we don't, we don't.
The driver, Oh my, that's our driver. I don't know if I got Teddy Bear though.
Oh, Beazer's got a picture of Teddy Bear.
You would have. I wanted to play a sot of you'd have just music.
Oh dude, that's beautiful. Oh no, no, no, let me see it.
He going, he was doing fifty cent. I'm a pimp. I'm on the street and I'm grinding on that butt. But he would play the sacks to it. I love it.
They look at that, dude, you're not lying. You're right on the beach.
Yeah, we were right there. That's I can post a couple of these. Then here's my people. Teddy Bear is not in this, but these are the bros there. Oh they're having a good time. We're chilling in the little villa we had, the little day bed. They're kind of smiling their butts off. Oh there, they're they're on cloud nine, dude. They love life. Cloud nine. I mean, we gave grease them all.
So when you're not supposed to, let's get out of here. Just stop it, man, that's great.
There you go. There, pride in your country. Oh, they got Jamaica flags everywhere, dude, that's pride in your country. This guy had two on his shanty. That's legit. I mean three.
He's got one in the door, he does. How many American flags you got at the house.
We got one. If it was up to Baser, we'd have about five more. Okay,