SORE LOSERS: Is the Pasta Approachable?

Thank you for turning on my microphone. I appreciate. How's it feel.

Just feel a little naked, just trying to do the video and the audio at the same time, just making sure that that's exactly how I did it last time when it worked.

I mean, I think it looks great. You're going no headphones again. You're back to this no headphones game that drives me nuts. You're starting to remind me of Darren Peterson. Ah, I'm gonna bring my headphones in the studio and then not wear them. I'm gonna warm up pre game, but then I'm not gonna play. But Kansas didn't freaking need them. We took down number one Arizona. I didn't get to watch it, so I don't have much to say, but rock chock jack hot. At the end of the year,

What I did want to say is, you're Peterson guy, with this load management, It's got to stop.

You've got to stop with your arms inside your shirt. Can't do it, won't do it? Like you look like, what are you doing?

Hey?

Do you remember that joke where you used to put your sleeves your arms and your other sleeves and wrap them around and tickle your back like you're making out with someone. Do you remember that? Yeah? Yeah, yeah, I remember that joke. That was funny.

You remember when the guys would snap the girl's bras.

I do remember that.

I never could, oh never not wanted to get in trouble.

Do you remember when you would uh get with someone in the corner and you put your hand over their mouth like you're making out, and people whoa with a dude? No, you know, Jim I mere, Hey, Marco, come here.

We just faked them. Now they all think we kiss. Ain't funny.

No, no, that's not what I was talking about. But my kids are on the one of hey, spell I cup, I seeup? Oh oh you said, I see you pere. That's the new one. I mean it was, hey, there's something under there?

Underwear?

Oh you said underwear. That's what I'm saying. That was that was earlier this week and late last week, and now it has shifted to hey, do you know how to spell I? Cup? Boom got them?

So it's in the in the halls at schools where they're hearing this, and then they're bringing it to the house.

Bringing it to the house. Also, what's your name?

I'm lunch box?

No, what's your name? Gibbles? No, what's your name?

Dad? No?

Your name? What's your name? Ray? What's this?

Knows?

What am I holding? Book? What am I holding?

Nothing?

Ray knows nothing? Haa. We do that all day long. That's good.

I'm glad it's evolved from six to seven, Hey, four to one?

What's your name? Ray? What's the color of the sky? Mm?

Nashville gray?

Now? Now, what's the color of the sky blue? What's the opposite of down?

Not finishing it?

Pause? No? No, what's the opposite of down?

Blue? Job?

What's the opposite of down? Up? Ray? Blue?

Up?

Okay, we do that, non freaking stop, non freaking stop.

Does the wife play along?

Sometimes she gets annoyed? Yeah, it was fun once, Oh dude. And then if one kid does it, guess what, the other kid has to do it, and then the third kid.

Has to do it, and the other kids don't even know English, do they No, they do.

I mean the one is four or five and seven. They all know how to talk, right, I'm learning Spanish now. I mean my four year old and five year old don't stop talking. Don't know where they get it from. They just brought no NonStop.

No idea where they get it from? God unfollowed. The other day, a lady said that I mentioned an too many times. She hit the unfollowed button for the sore losers. I don't know, and I said, Dorothy, sorry to see you go. Don't let the door hitch on the way out.

That's a good way to respond to our sword loser's nation. That's good.

I'm pretty sure she was like, wow, we actually responded. Maybe I won't unfollow that.

Maybe that's pretty cool. Yeah. So yeah, that's what's going on in my house. Man. We just do that over and over and over again. It's just all day long. But I have so much to talk about.

Well, and I wanted to thank you. So it's what it's on the menu.

What's on the menu.

I would like to thank you for something. Okay, you have got so much to talk to us about.

Oh crap, I forgot to bring Morgan her bag I'm gonna bring it tomorrow.

So there's a menu. We are loaded. This is a big one. I wan if you will.

Yeah, would you like to, you know, like say thank you to me? I don't know what it is. It's a tease, so that's just what's it? What it's on the menu. So do you want to tell me now or do you want to just like wait for a little bit. It's on the menu.

We don't have to eat it all right now.

I mean is it an appetizer? Is it a main course? Is it a dessert? What is it?

Probably an app Okay, we could intro the show and then jump to it.

I love it. I'll take a water, a coke and whatever.

You want to thank me for.

All right, We're gonna do it live. Oh the one two dude, sore loser? What up, everybody? I am lunchbox. I know the most about sports, so I'll give you the sports facts, my sports opinions, because I'm pretty much a sports genius, y'all.

It is Sison. I'm from the North. I'm an alpha male. I live on the North side of Nashville. Now we've moved around. We're downtown west Side now North we got two point three three three acres. Me and my wife. We live in the country. We got two kids at Vanderbilt. They're probably defrosting now that it's seventy degrees. Justin needs that you on him, but he's in rehab. He is on New Beginnings Avenue in Michigan. That's it over to you,

Thank you.

So I this is very simple. I didn't even think he was gonna be an a block, but I just wanted to say for being accommodating. I told you I have a tire issue, and vehicle wise, we're playing a little bit musical chairs, if you will, musical vehicles.

I totally understand.

And I said, hey, can we do a little moving around to the podcast and you accommodated.

Can can you explain to me what is wrong with your tire? No idea.

It's just balding. So it's like it rubs against the side of my vehicle. So three tires are perfect, one of them all the way down to the inner tube. Uh is it just.

Gonna blow on the interstate? Great? I just got blown. But here's the problem. You have a huge tire on the roof of your truck. No, that's just a rack. There's not a tire up in there.

Now, that's just rack city. Is there a tire on the bat Yeah, but doesn't match up with any the others. I'll be all, caddywomp, What do.

You mean it doesn't match?

The other ones are like mud tires, And now that's just a normal one. Got it'd probably throw off my entire vehicle.

So how much you think in this tire is gonna cost?

I already got it. My guy hooked it up, four of them for five.

Wait wait, wait you're getting You only have one bad tire, so why are you getting four tires?

The others are pretty worn too, But this one, for whatever reason, whenever my baby hits the interstate, it goes hard left and it just wears and wears and wears. Until one day I looked at it. I said, boy, that's missing tread. Oh whoa, that's a little bit of an inner tube sticking out.

Whoa, that's a wire.

I've been driving Baldy on I sixty five eighty miles an hour for the past two months.

That's not good because I always see those blown tires on the side of the road, and I'm like, man, how scary is that?

So Okay, I'm actually glad you said that, because semis do that, they don't die. So I'm thinking, if I drive this vehicle and it blows, am I gonna die? So that actually answers my questions.

Oh, you're not a semi. Though they have eighteen wheels, they have plenty of spares. You are down to three and you go, does it go straight axle or does it slowly or does the whole thing just blop? No, it's good, but I'm just saying it's so bare.

It's one of those basketballs we played with as a kid that has no more tread on it. It's a bare ball. There's no grip, it's no more ribbed.

No, no, no, I understand what you're saying. I am asking you, But if your tire does blue on the interstate, does it just shoot off or is it like it comes off and say you'll have tire left, no big deal? Or does it go straight to the axle? Finna find out. But what I'm gonna do is I'm gonna go in the interstate thirty miles an hour to work. Well, I don't want that. That is why I am here for you. I don't want you to be in danger, and I'm glad you're getting four new tires. Now? Are you getting

I don't know my guy quoted me, but I'm not asking questions.

If you're getting four for five. Yeah, I'm pretty sure you're not getting the mud tires.

Might be a hook up. I have no idea, but all I know is I said, Bazer, this is actually a code red. I need to take your vehicle. But you were accommodating. Thank you very much.

You know what it used to be great when I had a tire hookup. I had a tire hook up for years when I was in college. My buddy David U, he's out of El Paso, Texas, one of his fraternity brothers, worked at a store that I think is no longer in business called Sears, and he would tell you, hey, man, just pull up at the back door, right. You know what they say, Sears are for deers. So I would pull up at the back door, hand them three hundred hp.

Because he was able. He knew where there's the excess tires.

And he knew like when they were coming into the warehouse or whatever the you know, automotive department of sears, he would just add four tires didn't get there.

Yeah. And also here we get extra merch. We could give people merch easily. Everybody knows at their job where there's loose ends, if you will, some fat on the cutting room, flore all of that.

Yeah. And then over at a discount tire man, I had like three dudes, three dudes a discount tire. Josh Martin which speaking of Josh played on my soccer team growing up, Like we played soccer together from the age of like thirteen. Maybe you guys played foot see no, and we got him on our team. He had a mohawk and Henry rest in peace. Henry was like, we need to get that guy on just for some toughness. He's no longer with us now. Henry passed about a year ago.

When we are telling these stories now and some of them include they're no longer with us, that's when we know we're getting older.

Yeah, that's what's rough. That's a tough thing to do. But I was going through my phone the other day because it was saying I was out of storage, and I came to some text messages from Josh and I was like, man, I haven't heard from Martin in a while. So I hit him up. I was like, oh, Josh, how you been? And I got a reply not Josh's phone number. I am a drug dealer, so I'm like, oh, so I don't know what happened to Martin. Man, I haven't heard from him. I hope he's okay. Yeah, it

Yes, so joh left your own story.

So Josh worked a discount tire. I was so rudely interrupted by myself and I met his when he worked there. He had a dude named Justin that worked with him. They would hook me up. And then there was another guy that our old intern, her brother, worked at Discount Tire. I think it's a paramedic now, but he would hook it up with tires. Like when I was moving to Nashville, you told me I stopped by Discount Tire right there on I thirty five and got tires.

You hit me up before I left town. You go, do you need tires? And I said, no, what are you talking about? You go, I got a tire hook up if you want it, and I go, aren't we just going from Texas to Tennessee? What do you mean new tires? I'm not like breaking ground in the Oregon Trail. And You're like, I've got a hookup if you need tires.

I believe his name was Chad Smith, if that was correct. But yeah, I had tire hookups. Man, it was the greatest thing ever. And so now I'm glad you have a tire hookup. I got a tire guy because I don't have a tire guy anymore. I go have lunch with him. We wine and dine. He gets me out four for five.

That's pretty good. So I'm excited. But it props to me for noticing it. Man, I mean, but but then it's the American way. Am I gonna get it towed? No?

No, that would cost money.

Am I gonna drive on it with the potential of one of them blowing?

Yes? Well, you really only have the potential of one to blow.

Right, But I'm saying if it blows and it blows me so hard I get injured.

It's like that on a roll when you blow.

That's what I'm you said semis, So now I think semis are usually upright. The tire just blows. It's not like it's a bomb. This has been going through my head. You're helping me actually understand this.

Please talk to me about what goes through your head.

So, if this tire was to explode, is it like a bomb or is it just an immediate Oh no, there goes my tire. I get off the road. Let's get it towed. I think I can get away with it for forty five minutes driving down a road thirty miles an hour, get it to where it needs to go, risking at the risk of it blowing and getting injured. But I mean, oh man, I injured my foot. I was trying to save a two hundred dollars tow job.

Yeah. I don't think you have to worry about it. I don't think you need to go thirty. I would like to then go thirty. Dude, you do you. I just want you to feel safe because we need you here to do the pod tomorrow.

But hey, that same car that you were offering tires too in Texas. Is the same car I drive today? Yeah, that's how loyal am twenty years Wow.

Yeah, ultimately you know the one that that was the car that had the tires in Austin now just sits in front of my house and doesn't do anything. It just sits there and grows weeds.

Yeah, there is something about keeping old cars. We used to joke back at Mike Miller's place because Mike Miller would always have the BMW's and the Escalades. And then I had the same vehicle, the Trailblazer, and Billy had I want to say, a newer Acura, but it wasn't. It was like it was gold. I mean it was nice, but his was he. We called it to pop Up, and then we called mine the RV because it just looked like we were a couple of homeless people pulling

But i'd motor boat also.

I am still in the Trailblazer from the days where he would drive the pop up and we'd go to the every weekend to the RV Park, which was actually a really nice condo complex in Austin.

That's pretty cool because, like I mean, chess Day's dad had this old beat up truck when we were younger, and he got in a wreck and he was trying to get it to like because he was a surveyor and so he was.

He drove all over WHOA did the tire blow?

No, And I think he was trying to get it to five hundred thousand.

I don't know.

Maybe I've made that mileage up. That could be just an absolute, maybe three hundred thousand, I don't know what it was.

Maybe might have been how many women he'd slept with, but he'd gotten a wreck.

Ray that number was significantly lower. They gotten a wreck and they wanted to total his car, the truck. They were gonna gi him four hundred bucks for it, and he said, uh, no, thank you. He brought it home. In the front of it. We got a crowbar and started pulling the metal out so he could still drive it because he was only going to give the four. He was only going to get the four. And he was like, man, I'm trying to get to a certain one hundred thousand miles.

Dude. The thing that I'm not getting is you kept driving your vehicle after was totaled.

Yeah, you can still drive them, right, But I mean, why not safe? Though?

I think that's what it is in retrospect. Should you have just never turned it in?

No? I should have, oh, because I mean, like I could feel the wind coming in the back of the vehicle. Oh. I checked the rear view mirror. Rear view mirror was still good. But the back hatch was so dented in that there was a space between the bumper and the back hatch. So win would.

Could you have gotten the check without handing over the car?

You can get like ten thousand dollars less than they were offering you, Like, you could take the wrecked car and get fifteen thousand dollars or you can get twenty five thousand dollars.

I would have done wreck car and got to fifteen thousand dollars. Check.

Well, I don't know if it was safe to drive.

Oh that's right. You got a family, my bad?

Yeah, yeah, and we'll take a break. And speaking of my family, I got some stories about them right after this ray.

Seriously, that blown out tire, that's nothing to mess with.

I got a tire guy.

Dude, will you ask some of your tire people?

I will. If I could text Josh, I would.

Man the one wrong number guy say hey, well do you got to google? What do you think can my buddy drive on a bad tire? Hey?

Well, Josh used to work a discount tires, So that's why I was hitting them up. I was wondering, could you answer my question about tires?

All the technological advances, and they don't just kill our numbers off, like you could still text. Like this other person that used to have my number, this lancing number. I get text from her all the time. Hey you owe mortgage. I'm like, wrong person. I don't live in Michigan, so weird, right, And so people that have my old number, my friends will text them. So those numbers just never die off. They have to stay in the system. Weird.

That is strange, Like once that person gets rid of that number, it should delete from your phone.

It doesn't because I get it from all the time. This lady in East Lansing, she owed a back pay on mortgages. She owed whatever one of those rent things are where you get a storage locker that she never paid for. There's all this crap she owes, and she gets texts all the time about it.

Huh, that is weird. But anyway, so this weekend man Friday night, kids school was like, Hey, we will take your kids and keep them here till eight thirty for free. I said, awesome. Told the wife, I said, we are going out to dinner. We are going to a restaurant where we don't have to worry about screaming kids, kids, we don't have to worry about spilled milk. We can just sit there, relax, eat some nice food. Cookout on

Sometimes they'll come and get the trash off the table.

That's pretty good, but they don't come and take your order. You got to go to them to give your order. So we walk into this place and I'm my heck yeah. We show up and the ladies like, can I pour you a welcome cocktail? I'm like, uh sure, I'm going to need the address. Oh yeah, And she's like, we have our homemade apple cider with some spicy something blah blah blah. Yeah sounds great. She puts it in a little cup cheers we drink. Was she hot? She was

Male or female.

When it's a she, it's a female, okay. And so we go and they take us out and we sit on the little patios, freezing cold. But they had heaters, so it's awesome. Great. We have the whole patio to ourself. No one else out there. Hmm. I think we were one of those last minute reservations, you know, where everything else was booked up. So we were outside got it, yeah, because we booked it on like Thursday. And uh so

QR code COVID times no, he and it is a real menu. Always got to love that. Oh you just pull out your phone in QR coded. I'm old school.

Give me a menu.

I want to touch it. I want to touch some grass.

Can I tell you I would rather have a menu in my hands. QR code. Yeah, let me do. Let me what do I do? Put the flash flight on? Hey? Hey, like I get it during COVID times, Like you want to do the QR code. But now that we're back, let let's let's hand people the menu. I want to hold the menu.

Not to take from your story, I refuse to if they don't give me the menu, baser, what should I get? I'm not pulling up on my she picks out my food for me. Do you have an espresso martini? Give me something close to that? Right right, I'm not going to key in my QR code. I don't do that. Uh. Do you guys have like a bread as an app?

Oh?

Yeah, we'll do that. Cool.

Oh, I don't is it on the menu?

I don't know. I didn't look at it. I'm not QR coding it. Just get me something.

Yeah. I mean, we have a problem in this society about being on our phones too much. And then I'm at a restaurant and I'm supposed to conversate with the people at the table, if it's my wife, if it's a group of friends, whatever it is, and you want me to pull out my phone and look up your menu. That's the exact opposite of what I want to do. And it's not pulling up right away, it's it's loading. I'm sorry, no reception man like you guys got Wi Fi? Like, what's going on? Guys?

Got anything crazy? What's on the menu? You should just like tell us wait for it to load. A little bit.

Water on the menu, or got a QR code? Can? Can I bor your phone? What I need to get in the QR code? No, I'm the waiter. I don't give a damn give your phone anyway. He starts going over some of the stuff and he tells me, oh, that right there, that will change your life. I'm like, really, that item on your menu is going to change my life. I know what it was. Go ahead, sex on the beach. No. And I was like, okay, I'll take some of that. Give me some of that and he brings it out,

Nope?

Now my life is still the same. I tasted something decent, but my life is no way changed. It's not something that it's gonna like six months for now. I'm gonna be like, oh my god, remember when I had that and it changed my life? No, I didn't. All right, cool, so let me, you know, bring out some other items. We eat and then Donny whipped cream. It is near Valentine's Day. This one pasta comes out and it's like

I don't know. I threw it in my mouth and ate it. What do you want? Give me another drink?

Barkeep and I'm like all right, you know whatever. Comes over and I'm eating some of the pasta. You know, it's pesto pasta kinda. He's like, what do you think? And my wife and I are both like, it's pretty good, you know what I mean? Like I like the you know, the taste like has a little bit of taste of walnut because they had some walnut in there or something. And he goes, I know everybody you know can be a little intimidated by it when they read it on

I no longer want the address.

You don't want the address. So then we eat, you know, we finish up, and he's like, I'm just gonna drop by the dessert menu. You know what I mean. There's no pressure, there's no rush. I'm just gonna tell you that we have this this, and then we have this tearram asuit. And oh, if you say you don't like Tara Massoux, this is totally different. It's made differently, and I'm gonna tell you that Tira Masoux will change your life.

I'm gonna need that address again. And once he said I love Taramasou, Oh do you I'm back in.

I am not a Terra Masoux fan. But once he said, your wife put me in the fridge. Once he said that it was going to change my life. You know what, I knew that I didn't need to order it because I already had something on the menu earlier that he said was going to change my life. And it didn't change my life. So his life and my life are completely different.

What was the first thing, the eggs? I totally didn't even hear the first thing.

It was something called sea urchin. I don't even know what that is.

Okay, So sea urchin, pasta and Taramasoux. Those are the only three things you guys got.

No, we got other things. But he didn't say they would change my life. He didn't say that it was approachable. These are the three notable items that he said were going to change our perspective on the world. You ever heard of pizza burgers? Yeah, we have, but we can do that with the kids. You can't go to like a sit down restaurant that has sea urchin. I don't even know. And he told me, uh yeah, it's the sea urchin that will change your life. And so he

Off the menu pricing. That's why you gotta go to my spot cookout. Bro.

No, hey, you guys are hey, man.

What's up. I'll get you out right now. Yeah, just come on front.

Yeah.

I love that place.

Oh yeah yeah, just be a second one, all right, man, Well that's not how this guy talks.

Yeah, put some chili. Oh you want me put some chili on top of that? Yeah, just do like the dog and then the chili dog.

And then he says, yeah, man, yeah, there's this chili dog. It's real approachable. Ah.

He doesn't hit you with that. He just goes, you can approach the drive through. Man' at you that right now?

And then no, it's about to get it's you. It's about to hit the fan.

They talk like that because it's like two am, and they literally hate every drunk person in that line.

Oh for for sure. So I know I'm not ordering the terra masou because that ain't gonna change my life, just like the sea urchin. But anyway, when he came back, I was like, hey, man, I gotta be honest with you. I don't even see sea urchin on your menu. And he goes, oh no, no, it's over here. It's called unie. Man. Well, then why didn't you tell me that unie would change my life? Why did you say sea orch He goes, it's just another term for it.

We call it unie because it makes you go ooh me, So get the hell away from my wife, sir.

We order a piece of cheesecake. Cool. Eat The cheesecake is fine, nothing great, nothing amazing. Thought the terra Masou. No, No, he wanted me to because it was going to change my life. That's two items on one menu that's going to change my life. I already had the first, didn't change my life, No need to try the second. His taste bud They're obviously different than my taste buds. And I wasn't gonna check his taste buds out once again.

Type of guy that's coming around to your table and he's giving your wife a massage as he's talking to you.

He might have I don't know. It was dark, dark, dimly lit, dimly lit. For sure, there was a candle. There was a candle, And so I'm like, all right, you know what, hey put your sea arch in a way we ate the chase gate right, all right, man, we'll take the bill. Thank you. Brings it over and he goes, I'm just gonna leave this right here. There's no rush, there's no hurry. I appreciate the time you guys gave me tonight, he goes, and I gotta be honest, you guys killed it.

Is this the most polite guy in America?

No, no, no, it's about to get better. You're complimenting me. He was like, you guys, killed it. You know you I brought different foods. You guys were open.

Minded and whoa pause? What do you mean open mind? He trying to hook up my wife?

Unpaused, and I'm like, okay, he's like And I just got to say, you guys were my first table tonight and you guys were incredible. You guys have set the tone for a magnificent evening for me. Thank you for bringing that kind of energy. Oh my gosh, please shut up. Please tell this guy to shut up. And I'm like, I'm never coming back here again. How did you even deal with that? Oh? Hey, dude, I couldn't.

I couldn't have went a straight face, especially after a drake got to be like is this guy serious?

I thought he was just I was like, is this for real? And like there was one time? There was one time? Right, he brings us out this one appetizer or something I don't know, and he puts this the silverware out there, puts a knife out there, and then he comes back when we're done, and I never even touched the knife, and he cleared the table, picked up the knife and put down clean silverware, the exact same kind of knife. And I said isn't that just the

At this point, I'd have been like, you know what, we actually are in a rush? There's you said, there's no rush. There is a rush. Our uber just got here. See you later. And that's when we walked out, We're going to cookout. I looked at my wife I got as we get in the car, and I said.

What the f did he mean? Approachable? And I said, and we set the tone for the night. She goes, Okay, that may have been a little over the top.

That dude wanted your wife.

That was our Friday night. Man, I know where you went. You might know.

Is it the melting pot place where they put uh no, they put cocoa and stuff on marshmallows.

Nope, that wasn't it. They put cheese on bread. Nope, we'll take a break. We'll right back.

That was good man. And then but that just gave me a great idea. There was an old place I used to throw it back with the old lady.

But it was in Bellevue.

And I don't want to.

Drive all the way there, oh man, not on that tire it was. They're not driving on that tire. I'm just warning you. It was to get there. That reminds me that was a good spot. And I went for.

Valentine's Day what was it called Man Sperry's. Yeah, but I'm never getting in.

We had reservations weeks ahead of time. Well anyway, So then Saturday comes along, Man, it's time for basketball.

Mistersees Basketball Challenge.

We're not at Mister C's Reading Challenge. We're not there yet. We're at the kids basketball game. So the two younger ones, baby Box two and three, are on the same team. They play at one o'clock. Baby Box one plays at one thirty separate gyms. So with the Vandy game for mister Seas Reading Challenge starts at two thirty, so we are gonna be booking it. We gotta be moving fast, no, dilly,

Here we go, old man River.

And I'm thinking, oh, great, here he comes. He's gonna sprint across. Instead, he stands up and he gives the throat slash. No, no, no no. I taped the kids. Hey, guys, you gotta quit, you gotta quit, and they quit, and I was just like, wow, who knew dribbling basketballs in a gym.

Will distract other people? Dribbling the basketball.

Correct, really just gonna screw with everybody?

Cool?

All right, no problem. We have the game and we get our first win of the season. Baby box two, Baby box two with four baskets? What is he?

Peterson?

Uh? And he he did get tackled three times breakaways. He was going for the.

Hoop and sounds like Piston's hornets the other night.

And kids were just tackling from behind. They didn't another team they were They thought they were on the grid iron. They were getting ready for Super Bowl Sunday. They didn't know what they were doing. They were pretty physical, but we won the game. So then we immediately get the car drive over to the other gymnasium.

That was the purpose of dropping them off thirty minutes before the game.

Yes, that way we could get over there before their game ended. So right when they're done, they can hop in the car and we can book it to mister Reading Challenge. So we get in the car and we er baby Box one lost the game. That's a mute mute point. It doesn't really matter, and we're driving. Was your your game of Vandy? Uh, mister C's Reading Challenge was at Vandy. Get ready.

They ask you for your COVID card every time when Justin goes there.

And so the game starts at two point thirty. We get in the car at two to oh eight. Now, my guys, we gotta go. We have got to move. No Delhi, no Dally. So we're you know, we'erving and you know, we took ways because we wanted to see if there was any back way. We didn't want to hit traffic. I mean, yeah, it's only Nashville. You did know every back road, but yeah, but you don't know which way the traffic is gonna be coming for the big game Vandy versus Oklahoma.

Ray, we tried to make it through the Sorority row, quite the shortcut I found. Yeah, ladies, love what you're doing for the campus.

So mister C's Reading Challenge had already promised me free tickets, free tickets for my kids reading three hundred minutes in the month of January, and ended up there were no free tickets and we paid one hundred and sixty dollars. Okay, cool. So we're one hundred and sixty dollars in and we hadn't even got there yet, and we pull up to the parking garage and it says forty dollars to park, forty dollars to park for a Vandy basketball game. M hmm,

Yeah, that's we're gonna They're gonna get you. It's called fleecing. Oh.

And I pull up and I roll down the window. The lady's like, that'll be forty dollars and she go, I go discount for future students genius. And this was her reaction, that'll be forty dollars, blows right through it. All right, cool, handle the credit card, she taps it. You should have thrown Justin's name out there. And she said, all right, feel free to park anywhere.

Oh, he was dishonorably discharged.

She said feel free to park anywhere. I said, oh, here's good. I put it in park, literally at the entrance, literally at the entrance, literally did not move an inch. And I throw it in bark and I started to unbuckle. And this is her reaction. You can go in, sir. You didn't even pull in. I didn't even pull in. I didn't even pull in. See to me, that is hilarious, dude. She was really ready to kill you. Oh she was ready to kill me. I mean, my one joke doesn't land.

So you hit her with here's good, you better laugh next time.

She just tells me you can go in. You stop in line in park. I did not put it in park. I literally put it in park in the seatbelt off. And she was not having any of my jokes. Doesn't enjoy my humor. I'm like, all right, cool, that's cool, all right, so we go. We're going up the garage. Find a parking spot on the fourth level, right next to the elevator. Get down, get over to the stadium. There's it's cold as all get out, and we get there.

Oh man, oh man, you should have told me you were a doctor. I thought that's shir what you're gonna hit me with.

Ah man, So we gotta go back down. I'm a doctor here you're wearing a ratted sweatshirt. After walking up to the third floor of this freaking arena. A lot of stairs. Gotta go back down, and then we gotta go around the stadium. Then the kids are hungry, so I'm all right, let's get some food.

And that stadium's tight when you're trying to move in and around.

Yeah, it's not a very it's very narrow, narrow, always a lot of people, like.

A mouse trap for adults. Yes, you get trapped in there. And then I know Ray in the bathroom.

We can hear it in quarter the opening tip off happening, and we're still not to our seats. Is it a trough, No, they had an individual jurnal. But it is tight. It is tight. They are there, they are They get them all the way. Like people coming out of the stalls are hitting you with the door as you're at the urinal. What you're working with? Mark? Oh hey, Joe, Oh god, the dang door hit me in the back. Man, it's pete all in my hand. It's really annoying. But they

You gotta get the tend's.

But it says Tendy's on your menu right there. Yeah, yeah, but we're not. We don't have them at this You got to go over there to order the Tendys.

You're not authorized to sell them.

Oh my gosh. So I just waited in line for Tendy's and you guys don't have Tendy's. This is great. So we turn around and we walk across. I need two baskets Attendy's. It's amazing. A hot dog six seven bucks, Tendy's fourteen dollars. What three Tendy's and some potato chips fourteen freaking dollars, high demand premium meat. And then we got to get water because the kids haven't drink at anything, so four bottles of water, so that'd be fifty eight dollars.

We always had a rule waters only. Pops was never getting us stuff.

Oh no, no, Well we hadn't eat and lunch, and they just had basketball games were they were hungry.

Dad would get one lemonade and you can refill it in the water fountain and the lemonade sugar will still be in there.

So it makes about three cups oh, and so I'm just like, god, dang, this is this is the worst game of my life. Like, we spent so much freaking money to go to this Mister Sas Reading challenge, and then we're at the top of the top. Man, we are way up there in the arena. We get to the seats. Finally we get there. We sit down baby box three. I got a poo poo. Okay, seriously, we just got here. We just got here. And here's the

You know what our flaw was when me and Justin went what we sat seats for perverd We sat in somebody else's seats. We sat in the band section. Oh yeah, these are ours? Uh No, they're not. That's where the band sits. You got us. They were perfect seats, though, justin of all the seats we picked, where the freaking band sits.

Dude, you idiot one of the kids, as you pick one of the thirty seats, are there? All right? Yeah, we're lying, all right? Those aren't your seats? Yeah they are, that's where the team sits. I was wondering why there was a pad. Pretty comfy, those are good. I was wondering why there was a white board. I thought I was writing messages. I wonder why my seat was sponsored. I get it. Let's go stack owls. So my wife takes them down to the bathrooms. I was like, I

Said started the third quarter or no, okay, sorry guys, that wasn't the end of the pod.

There's baby boxes teacher on the jumbo troll.

Here we go.

He's like, Dad, she's here. Can we go look for.

No, I'm not looking for your teacher.

What do you mean Williams. You mean out of these this whole arena. You want me to walk around and look for your teacher, and then, yes, what happens when we find your teacher. We have the world's most awkward conversation because I know once we find your teacher, you're just gonna be like clam clam. So halftime boy. So he's like, Dad, we gotta we gotta do that. We gotta put our picture up there. All right, I'll bite, I'll bite, I'll fall for it. I won't take a selfie.

You'll see her Monday.

I was like, He's like, where do you think she is? Was like, I don't know, Bud, I don't know. So we go in and go to the bathroom. He's like, should we walk around and look for I'm like, no, we shouldn't. We should go back to our seat because the second half is going to start.

Finally you're being a parent.

But he's like, before we go, Dad walks in the first level, looks again, doesn't find her. We get to the second level. He walks in there, looks around. I don't see her. Dad go up to the third level. He's looking around. He goes, I don't think she's sitting up here with us.

Dad.

So we sit back down and it's the start of the second half, and I'll tell you all about it. Right after this second half, more of the same, Vandy getting smoked, Vandy getting crushed. And then they had a promotion that was the most ridiculous promotion I've ever seen. Give us your kid, no, usually if you put it the length of the court and you make it in that little hole, yeah, you get like free scholarship for a year, a free car.

Agreed.

And they pull it out and they're like, if you get it in that little hole, youet Justin's old job. You get a five hundred dollars certificate to where and I'm like, this dude is gonna put the ball the length of the court and put it a little hole, and you're gonna give him five hundred dollars.

Please tell me it's for the restaurant you guys went to to get Sea her Chin.

No Ray, that wud have been a hell of a story if they would have told me for five hundred dollars, I gotta hit it, though, I would have swung it like a driver.

I mean maybe if it's like Larry Flynn's Stripper Club.

Anyway, I just found that ridiculous. But anyway, more, the second half just absolutely a butt kicking. And every time out they're showing pictures on the jumbo tron and they ain't showing ours, and my kids feelings are starting to get hurt. And as we I forgot when we were walking in guess who we saw bones mister C, the scam artist. Yeah, and he was walking down the hall and the kids were like, Dad, that's mister C. I'm like, hey, you owe me a couple dollars.

Mister C.

That's when I shoved him against the wall. Said, hey, you said there was me free tickets, Now give me your pocket book. But I was like, yeah, that's mister C. The one that problems was free tickets for mister C reading challenge. There was nothing free. What was he wearing? Snake oil and a briefcase? Yeah he was. He looked very shady. Let me tell you you got my money there. See he was writing checks. That is at mouth good gash. I'll tell you that. Man. Was it one of those

And I was gonna say, you don't need to tell us the score. Somebody can look up the score. Guys. The game happened like a week ago.

We're now by like eighteen with like eight minutes to go, and I'm like, hey, you guys want to leave? Well cut to the chase.

Did they win?

I was like, you guys ready to go? Like, why don't we go?

Because Andy win?

Because we had a birthday party. We were going that night, the wife and I at five thirty and I'm like, this game is a blowout, let's go ahead and go. You guys look dead. There's you're not even interested in the game. Work no, dad, Dad, I earned these tickets I think we should stay t the end.

Did they win?

Okay, I'm trying. I was like, you know, I have a friend named Ray. He has a theory ALI always leave early so we can beat the traffic. Your kids knew about it, and they're like, no, dabt, I want to stay. And I'm like, oh my gosh, this is so boring. It is so miserable. Five minutes left, they're down fifteen points and the nicking a. The kids are falling asleep, and I'm like, guys, let's just go. Let's just go. No, I don't well, okay, I don't want tears. I don't want tears.

Please tell me Vandy made a run.

I don't want tears. Wife takes one of the kids to the bathroom. Middle kid to the bathroom. She goes, She texted me, She goes, should we just leave? Everybody's leaving? Why don't we just leave? Tell the boys we're leaving. It's like four minutes, thirty seconds to go, down thirteen fourteen points. I say, hey, boys, we're gonna leave. Mom's ready to go. Dad, the game's not over yet. We don't we can't leave yet, I text, I said, even

They need to do it for the parents where they put zeros on the scoreboard just for a minute so parents can usher their kids out.

And with two minutes left, there may be fifty five people in that arena, and Vandy drains a three. Then they get a steal and they drain a three, and now we're down to a minute twenty seconds led, and we're down by eleven, and we start fouling. I'm like, what the hell are we doing? We are just delaying this game. Can we please? It is now four forty eight. We're supposed to pick up the babysitter at five point fifteen. We're supposed to be at the birthday party at five

I thought I heard them on Sports Center.

Bandy hits a three. We're down five with thirty eight seconds to go, Are you freaking kidding me? Go doors, and we foul. They make one of two, so we're down six. Come down, make a three and a foul. It's gotta be that little kid. He is lights out. We made a three and we're fouled. We go to the line, make it four point play. We're down two with how much left? Twenty seven seconds? Yeah, let's go, and then it gets crazy like we foul. They make a free throw. We come down, we miss, and it

We've approached the end and it was time to go.

Home, man, Time to go home. Thanks a lot, mister Cees reading challenge. There was nothing free about the day. There was absolutely nothing free about it. Well he's heading off to another campus. Well, we did get free orange or gold palm palms that the kids shook.

Those were for the girls.

And then they wore they acted like there was their hair, and then they were doing it like it was my hair, and then it was my wife's hair.

And then don't do that to your dad.

They were covering their face with it and saying, dad, Dad, where'd I go? Did you lose me? And then they went, oh, I'm still here. So we did that a lot. Yeah, and then we went to the and then we brought the pomp poms home with us. The next day we had to go to the grocery store and they ended up pushing little kids carts around, so they had brought the pomp poms in the store with them. Then I had to carry them. So I did it like I was directing planes through the airport, and we were doing

That'd be funny. Direct people in the studio.

Hey, hey this way, Amy, Amy, come here, feeling things. Come here, feeling yourself, feeling yourself. Take it personally, Take it personally.

Construction workers, you help them out with traffic.

Oh man? Yeah, what a weekend. Man. I didn't even get to tell you about the birthday party. I'll tell you about that on Friday, maybe if you can carry.

I'm as tired as your kids right now.

Yeah, all right, let's go home. Man.

I'm gonna leave a minute early.

Hopefully that was all right. Change your life, didn't it