Good.
All right, break it down.
If you ever have feelings that you just won't Amy and Cat gotcha covin locking No, brother, Ladies and folks, do you just follow an the spirit where it's all the phone over real stuff to the chill stuff and the m but Swayne. Sometimes the best thing you can do it just stop you feel things. This is feeling things with Amy and Kat.
Happy Tuesday. Welcome to feeling things. I'm Amy and I'm Cat and my feeling of the day is fun. I guess, I don't know fun for sure. For sure falls into the fun category, but it sure feels fun when I get it right. So when you check out, when you're online shopping and you don't want to give your email and your phone number to get the ten percent discount code, do you play the game of trying to figure out
what their code is? Like typing in welcome, welcome, ten, welcome, fifteen, welcome twenty, which normally you can guess the percentage off of it would be ten, fifteen or two twenty based on what they say in the pop up screen to get you to get the percentage off. It'll be like want ten percent off, want fifteen percent off, and that will help me with the Hello ten, Hello fifteen, Hello twenty, Save ten, Save fifteen, Save twenty free ship.
I've never played that game. I have other tricks, but this is very smart. Why haven't I played this game.
In the depending on the season spring ten, spring twenty, summer ten summer twenty summer fifteen, fall ten, fall twenty winter.
So have you been doing this lately? Yes?
And I got for two days in a row getting things welcome ten worked for two different sites, and I was like, this is fun.
And they cause.
If they don't want people to do that, they got to get more creative with their code.
Some people have because you'll go and they'll email you the code. It's like ADSF one two four or five y dash niner copy. You have to like paste it in there like those those are the ones they really don't want figuring out the code.
Well, they really want your email and your phone number. Yes.
I usually will just google if I'm like, what's a discount code for this place?
And sometimes it'll work. Sometimes there won't be one. But I used to have have you heard of honey?
Yes, I've used honey. Okay, I did it too.
It used to be.
Like what do you call it like it was like a plugin that I had on my Safari.
Yeah, it lived in and it so it would it would automatically go generate things for you.
Which is really cool.
I feel like it saved me a lot of money, but I didn't download it out my new computer because it felt a little bit unsafe, Like, who knows I could have gotten a couple viruses from that in this now my computer we use for work, so we can't be doing that. I don't even know if that's still a thing.
Good question, because I haven't used it in a little bit and I don't know how it got off of mine, but I did, maybe because I got a new computer too. I can't or I like your yours is more fun.
It's like a game.
That's why my feeling is fun because it worked twice for me, and just letting people know if you don't want to give your email and phone number, I mean you may have to if you can't figure it out. But it's so fun when it works and you're like, oh, like the disk that just pops up and if you shop revolve a code that always tends to always work for them is tulip what? Yeah, you get ten percent offers.
So random.
Yeah, tula okay, tulip ten. That's why I'm feeling fun.
Okay, I like it. I'm feeling a lot of things. Okay, I have a lot to talk about. Where should we start? Oh, this is easy, We'll get this out of the way. I feel very proud of myself.
I feel like you'll be very proud of me for doing this, you know how, Like I like to do things with myself and I like to just be like, oh, I can do that myself and not hire a professional.
Yeah, so I'm learning.
And I hired somebody to come do landscaping at my house, just the front, but I was going to do it myself and then got very overwhelmed and was like, I'll probably spend one thousand dollars on plants and then kill them all because what do I know about plants?
So I felt like that was very.
Adult of me. Good y'all going to call somebody to do it for me. It's feeling proud of myself. Now I have a PSA. I feel like everybody needs to know this. Who enjoys going to the movies and this is my feeling attached to this is disturbed have you heard of the movie The Drama?
Yes? Have you heard about this movie?
Yes?
Okay, I didn't know much about.
This movie, and you just went to see it.
I escaped this.
By the skin of what is it, the skin of my teeth?
Yeah, so you didn't see it.
My friend asked me to go yesterday, and I was bored out of my mind because Patrick had on the Masters for six hours, and so I didn't really want to go see this movie, but I wanted to get out of the house, so I was gonna go, but then the drive was too far. They were going in Nashville and I was in Franklin. She texted me after and she said, thank god you didn't go see this movie. It was the weirdest movie I've ever seen, and it
got like rave reviews from a lot of people. So the whole I'm not going to give anything away at all, but the whole point of the movie is there's this big secret you find out and that is like the pipeline to the rest of the movie.
Well, I think it falls under dark comedy.
It is a dark comedy. Yeah, it's very dark.
Yeah, very If I were you and I was going to go see this movie, I would look up what that secret is before I paid twenty twenty five dollars to go see this movie.
I think what it's about, it's like not some I get that it's dark comedy, but I don't feel like we ever it.
Was in the news, so I feel like even before the movie came out, it was a big news story of oh why didn't see that? Is so? I mean, I talked to it in case someone's wanting to see it. I guess we shouldn't spoil the big secret, but it's well, very positive topic.
Yeah, and I'm saying, if you're going to go see it, spoil the secret because you might not want to watch this. My friend was saying, like you, it was hot, it was awkward to laugh at any of the stuff because it's not something that's it's not funny, and the thing that it's about is affecting so many people, even if you're not directly affected by it, Like it's a big issue in our specifically our country.
Yeah, I think that's why it was such a big news story before the movie came out.
I cannot believe they made a movie about it, Like, I'm disturbed.
Of the about this.
They were saying she didn't go through with it. It didn't actually happening.
But do you know why.
Well no, I don't know that part.
But okay, it's not like it's not because she had a change of heart.
Okay, so you were disturbed by.
That, yes, And I just wanted to let anybody know because I would be so well, I think I don't know that I would be able to sit through.
All of that.
But I movies are expensive to go see, and I just don't want anybody to waste their money.
Okay. So there's that that felt good to get off my chest.
And then I love that you're like recommending for people to not go see a movie that you haven't seen. But some other people enjoyed it.
Some people liked it.
I think you have to have a very specific type of humor to be able to enjoy that. Yeah, and you need to not have been affected by this specific thing.
Okay, Next feeling, Next feeling. So this is third feeling.
I told you I have a lot of feelings.
I think this feeling is like I feel seen or I feel relief, I feel validated. And this is a little pregnancy update. I'm out of breath talking and that I'm blaming on pregnancy. In the first trimester of pregnancy, a lot of times, one you're hiding, you're not telling people, and so you're trying to like dress like you don't
look pregnant. And then through the first trimester, you don't necessarily have like a baby bump, Like you might look bloated, you might have gained weight, but there's not like you know, when there's a baby bump, it's like cute and whatever. I think it's a hard season to be in that whole space. It's just body image wise, it's difficult. I have been inundated on social media with all of these
and part of this is my fault. All of these videos of like really adorable people dressing their pregnant body through different stages, and I've internally been struggling.
Of like how are these people doing this?
Like they look so cute or they're fifteen weeks pregnant and they literally look smaller than I did before I got pregnant. Like just a lot of negative thoughts coming up, and I through this process, I tried to just you know, use my tools, like I say, talk my way through it, remind myself, like everybody's body is different. You're creating the life. Blah blah, blah, blah.
Blah, a lot of beings. I'm thinking if I texted you the other day because you love when you use your tools, and you love when I use my tools, and I text you the other day and I was annoyed about my self tanner or something. I'm like, uh, and I just feels so white. And then I use my tools and replied back. I was like, and well I am so this is fine. I am white. And then you were like, good for you.
Yeah, night's when we can use our tools.
Yes, it is what it is like. Yeah, I love my and you are white, translucent, pale skin. That's me.
But sometimes that's like it Sometimes talk like that, like this overly body positive talk feels almost like gas lighting it kind of. It sometimes felt like I wasn't allowing myself to really like this sucks, like my body is changing at a pace I have no control over.
I don't like it.
But it feels like you can't say that because I'm pregnant and I should be grateful and we should be grateful for our bodies that allow ourselves to be pregnant and blah blah blah blah, tools, whole tools. But so it feels like there wasn't this like in but nobody was. I wasn't around anybody or I didn't see anybody who was talking about that. So it's just kind of a conversation I was having, like with my self or Patrick
or whatever. Patrick's response is he's very kind, but he's just like, you're pregnant, and I'm like, I.
Know, but I don't look pregnant. I look and then I.
Feel like God just sent me a little gift because I don't listen to this podcast.
But have you heard of The Squeeze?
Yeah, the Latner's.
Yeah, they're both named Taylor. Yeah, it's kind of cute, and that's kind of weird. I guess that could never happen to you because what man is named Amy?
Yeah? You because there's no man named Katherine there or not. But yeah, if you have a unisex name.
Like, would that and would that turn you off if you were like dating somebody the same name as you?
No?
Okay, anyway, I have never I can't say I've ever listened to one of their episodes, but and their stuff doesn't really pop up on my paget often, but a video of her of Taylor the girl Taylor popped up. I guess she's pregnant, and she was like, nobody talks about this, and I was like ooh. And she talked about how during her first time she was like she was really sick, and she was like, the only thing I could eat is carbs, So obviously that's all I'm eating, and I can't exercise.
I'm gaining a lot of weight.
And all I saw around me were and I'm paraphrasing, and she might have said something a little different. All I saw around me were these like tiny people that literally didn't gain any weight in their first trimester, and they look so cute and they loved dressing their pregnant body.
And she was like, and I was having the worst time, and I was just I mean, I think she was talking about like how she was having breakdowns about it, and how she said I hated my body, hated looking at it, I hated feeling it, I hated whatever.
And I was so grateful for that because.
It almost was like seeing somebody else say that was like, well, I can feel that too, Like this is for anybody, whether you're pregnant or not, going through that.
I feel like with body image stuff, we get in this space where we feel like we have to just be grateful for our health or our.
Pregnant body or the ability to walk or you know what I mean, like you're girling, yeah, versus like can we be realistic and we can be grateful? Like I am grateful I'm pregnant. Obviously it was a hard journey. Wouldn't trade it. And this part sucks, especially when I'm surrounded by what it looks like and I know it's just social media people that are not having the same experience of me as me, and it feels like, well, what am I doing wrong? Because my body looks like
this and you look adorable. But also I will say with that, and this is to myself and other people, I've never and I think she said something like this too. I've never looked at a pregnant person and been like ew. And so I'm sure people that are that would see my pregnant body wouldn't be like, oh, what have you been doing? They're probably just like, she's a pregnant person.
But we see ourselves so differently. So I feel like I said validated because I feel like I was gaslighting myself and it was making it worse.
And now I can just be like, this.
Part sucks and I can't wait until I have my belly that pops out and then I'll feel about maybe.
I hope you will. It's hard, you will.
It's just hard when you are like you do not have any control over what happens.
You can do all.
That's the other thing people are like on TikTok, if you eat this is what I eat in a day as a pregnant person, blah blah blah blah blah, and I'm like, I feel like I don't eat that differently than that, and I'm moving my bodies much as I can, and I've been steady climbing the scale. I don't know that because I refuse to weigh myself, but by the feel of my pants.
That's a bigger tool scale.
Yeah, So this is just.
This is your first pregnancy, so this is uncharted territory for you too. So you're experiencing something for the first time. I would imagine when navigating something for the second time, you would know more what to expect from your body. Right, this is like everybody's different obviously.
Yeah, and this is coming from somebody who like I specialize in body image work, like I've done this work professionally and for myself for years. I feel like I have a pretty good grasp on it. But even I'm struggling with some stuff and need to, like you know, go back into my toolbox and need to hear that validation from other people. So if you're not in that space, then it definitely would be normal for you to struggle with this.
Well.
I love that you shared that because you got the validation from Taylor.
Yeah, and.
She's our friend Taylor, and someone listening to you right now he'd be like, Oh, I'm so glad Kat who is and this is her job, this is what she does for a living, helping others through this is also having her experience with it.
And living in this world is tough, like body image wise, like living in our society and our culture, in our world, it just is tough.
It just is. No matter how much work you put in it. You're climbing.
We're climbing it up battle we will be forever. Because there's as much work as you put into all of that, you have five times that coming from the other side telling you that that work is wrong, So anybody struggling with that, I am too.
This isn't directly related to what you're saying, but it does have to do with things being hard or new. I saw a perspective shift being talked about and just sort of fitting here to say, if you're experiencing anything new for the first time and you're finding it hard or difficult, and maybe you were thinking something's too hard to do or you could never do that, a perspective shift could be instead of easy versus hard, familiar versus unfamiliar.
This is very unfamiliar for me.
Yeah, yeah, well I don't know that it totally applies to, like being pregnant, but and thinking of maybe people wanting to try something new, because I mean, I think it's fair to say this is hard, not only the unfamiliar, but it's hard. But just and how us talking about things being EASi or hard unfamiliar made me think of this perspective shift that I saw that might be helpful
for anybody just going through anything. It's like a little brain hack of how you're looking at something, because then when you see that something's hard, you might not want to do it. Yeah, but if it's just unfamiliar. It's like, oh, well, I just need to get familiar with that.
Like putting together a piece of furniture. This is unfamiliar. I've never done this before. Versa's like, this is too hard and complicated.
I can't.
Yeah, but I am glad you hired a landscape or that does seem hard.
I'm familiar with both unfamiliar and art. And art also, like I said, I would have wasted a lot of money if I tried to do it myself.
Gardening is though, or getting your hands in the soil and like digging in the dirt is very good for the brain. That I am also just reminded of. I don't have the study in front of me, but I read it last week. No, it was something that I came across last week where I was talking something. It was an article about Alzheimer's And I'll see if what we're talking about it, Shannon can look it up. But how using your hands and gardening and getting in the
dirt is good for the brain. Using your hands and gardening and getting in the dirt is good for the brain. It's neuroscience. I can't explain it. It's unfamiliar.
I wonder why that would be, like, why with the dirt specifically, or is it the activity you're doing in the dirt?
Okay, well, okay, this is so far what Shannon has pulled up. Multiple studies indicate that digging and dirt and gardening provides significant psychological and cognitive benefits by interacting with specific soil microbes and increasing critical brain growth proteins. Yeah, I don't know if that's exactly what I saw. Research from Universe of Colorado Boulder shoutout, that's where my niece goes.
It shows that this microbe activates serotonin producing neurons in the brain, functioning as a natural mood stabilizer, similar to some antidepressant medications.
So dirt has similar qualities as antidepressant.
That's sort of what a University of Colorado Boulder is saying. But my I know that mine was a Alzheimer's related article.
Well, shoot, maybe I should have done it myself.
Okay, I think we maybe now have it. We now have it a sixteen.
Year long longitudinal I did not know that wordudin.
That word scared me. Do you know that because of your therapy background?
No, but I do know that you like, we've talked about how like we'll skip words if we don't know them.
And I knew you want to.
Skip a word. I don't know that I've ever seen that word in my life. Thank you for help. No longitudinal, longitudinal it's fun to say. I feel like I would. We're saying it.
You learned something new every day.
So this is a sixteen year longitudinal study of older adults found that daily gardening was associated with a thirty six percent lower risk of dementia. This is it. This is it, researchers. Researchers, that's where it's hard too. Researchers attribute this to the bundle of physical activity, sensory stimulation, and mental problem solving required by the activity. So that's
what it was. It had nothing to do with a micro So I don't know about that study from Colorado, but take with it, take from it what you will. This one is what I was talking about. So you get a bundle, it's like a three, it's like a three for three for one.
What I would like to do actually, because I really want to be one of those houses that has a bunch of like pretty like not wildflowers, but wildflower esque flowers.
In the front of it, you know, in the springtime, and I think, all you do? You just sprinkled?
I don't.
Yeah, but I want to take like a gardening class because that is such an unfamiliar thing. I know, don't know anything. There's so many different types of soil or mulch, Like how do I even know what kind of mulch I want? Or what soil on' is supposed to put in there? Or the seasons and when you put tulips, I know you have to put them in the fall, because I really wanted to plant tulips and they said you can't do that, And what flowers like come back
on their own? And what do you have to do every year?
I would, you know what I want to be like?
Did you know Martha Stewart's documentary, Yeah, and she was just in her garden pruning her flowers. I want to get to the point where it's calming to me to go out and just like cut some leaves off the stems of my flowers and prune my garden because I just understand how everything works.
Shannon said her best friend could give us a gardening class. She has a business in Nashville teaching people about wildflowers shut up.
There's a certain flower. They're like all different colors. What's a flower that you.
Would plant of hydrangea?
No, that's like a bush, right.
But you cut them in They but flowers yeah, yea yeah, yea yeah, but that's a rose.
Bush is a flowers like the azaleas azalias? Those I think those are the pretty different colored ones. I want those like around my mailbox or something.
You can do that, do that?
I got a call Shannon's friend.
Yeah, she's the prairie stylist on Instagram.
Her name is Emily, And like, did I ever think I would get to the point in life where like I want to learn how to garden?
But I want to too. I've gardened. I've told you I've had a garden before where I had vegetables and I would go out and it was so awesome, like cutting cut a cucumber of cilantro romaine. You want romaine? Okay, no problem, I'm going to go out to the garden and.
That's like so cute.
It's just but it sounds hard, like how do you It's just unfamiliar. Thank you reframe, Thank you reframe.
But it is weird because like I think this is an adult moment where what I meant by like I never thought I would get to this point is like if you asked me in my twenties if I wanted a garden, I'd be like, I have better things to do.
But you also had an adult moment of hiring someone to do the garden.
Yeah, it's not.
You could use. Yes, there are certain plants and things where I think hiring someone is the strategic, the right move if you can do that. But then, like the stuff around your mailboxes, get in the dig in there, plants the flowers, plant the seeds, let them go up. But you don't need you can handle that.
I'll hire somebody to landscape. I want to have a garden.
Yes, two yeah, perfect, so we'll get there. Longitudinal lunch longe lounudinal. It's feeling weird. Longitudinal. That's sorry, I think. Okay, that's how I would say it. Yeah, I mean you saw that word right away and you just knew.
Yes.
I also have taken research classes before, so it's you know what I mean.
Yeah, so you have seen it, and if.
It makes you feel better, I knew that word, but in my research class, I do believe I got the worst grade out of the class.
That's so weird because you always want to be the best grade.
Not in grad school.
In grad school, I realized I'm out of my league and I can only do the best I can and I'm never going to I had no plans of ever getting a PhD, so that research class was of no use to me. So I don't think I and it was. That's one of those things. And this is just how brain. Different brains work. I could sit in a developmental psychology class and be so tuned in and understand what people were talking about the research class. I even went to office hours multiple times. It could not make any less
sense in my brain when I was doing so. When I was turning in an assignment, I was like this, I could get a zero or a one hundred. I have no idea, Like my brain just did not work there. But doesn't mean I'm stupid. No, I'm not gifted in that area.
Yeah, see tools here we are. I got a newsletter from Mike Foster. I guess at one point I signed up for his newsletter, which is Primal Questions. What I feel like.
You get a lot of newsletters and you read them, do I I feel you you have Lisa's newsletter. I feel like there's another newsletter you've talked about before. I don't know who it is.
Well ours, I get the feeling they Oh yeah, I get Moses is a news it's it's it's the literal news. It's like newspaperaving his newsletter, but with the top news stories of the day.
You've get you've talked about another person's and maybe it wasn't Maybe you don't get it every maybe to.
You, Oh, I know our friend. Where's my brain right now?
Our front?
Yes?
Are you going to want to walk with her?
Katie Gusta? I saw her this weekend?
You did?
I love her? I love her newsletters. You're right, I do read.
Her newsletters letters.
Yeah, okay, So what's the name of our newsletter again? I mean, I know it's Feeling Things. He gave it a name.
I think it's just the Feeling Things newsletter.
Oh no, we gave it a name or did a tagline or something?
No? Nothing, have the day you need to have m okay, well.
Just kidding. So Mike's is called the Primal Question Newsletter, and he caught my attention. I don't know that. I always always read his but he caught my attention because he was talking about the Manisphere and I have yet to watch that Netflix documentary Inside the Manisphere, and I want to, but he wrote all about it and then I was like, Okay, I definitely need to carve out
time to watch this. So if you haven't seen it, the Manisphere is basically a corner of the Internet where male influencers create content about what it means to be, quote a real man. On the surface, it looks like guys talking about fitness making money. But the further you go in, the darker it gets. Which I think you've started the documentary but you haven't finished it.
Well, you know, my thing is to watch thirty minutes of everything.
I think.
I didn't finish it because I was like, this is making me angry, but it is.
It's fascinating.
I mean it's gross and it's really sad because they prey upon like gen Z jen Awf like young boys to try to like brainwash them, and it's they're bad people, like they're not like living good high lives, and a lot of it is a facade, like they'll act one way on the internet and then different things are happening behind the scenes.
Well, Mike's big takeaway wasn't just about how toxic the content is. It was about why young men are drawn to it in the first place, and his point was that these are valuable young men without solid male role models, who are just looking for a yes to the question am I wanted? Am I good enough? Which those are a couple of the primal questions, and these influencers are
answering that question in the most unhealthy ways possible. He also a really important point about being discerning about who you allow to influence your life, and he gave us three questions that we can ask ourselves when you are trying to figure out who's getting your time, like what are you watching? What are you following? First question, ask yourself is this person self aware? Second? Who are they actually serving? And third how is their message hitting your
own insecurities? Now I feel like as an adult, I can maybe answer those, but I think about young kids.
I don't know that.
They're going to be able to answer that. But he did end with this, true masculinity is measuring strength by who you lift up, not by who you can push around. Yeah, I and I thought that was really powerful because the manosphere they seem to be wanting to.
Push around, and it's a lot about like them gaining notoriety and following where it's not actually like living there what they're preaching. I will say, I love these three questions. Is this person self aware is such a hard question to answer, sometimes specifically even for yourself and my self aware most of the if you hear somebody who is like one hundred percent confident that they're self aware all the time, they're not.
Like, if you're self aware, it means that there are things.
That you cannot know about yourself and that you just cannot know and that you will have you have blind spots. So if anybody's trying to figure that out with other people, or if you hear somebody that constantly is talking about how self aware they are, they're probably not.
I am self aware, I think to your point now, like if I really feel like I'm self aware with my hormones, I really do. What do you mean, like like now when I'm not acting like when I'm acting a little sib Yeah, I think I have that self awareness. And I'm not saying it's one hundred percent of the time, but I will have an internal dialogue happening of like why am I am I sounding my sib right now? Like ooh that was a little harsh, or like am
I about to start my period? Or I think And then sometimes I'll take it outside my brain and say I think I'm about to start my period, and I'll disclose, so it sort of helpfully lightens however I'm acting because I know I'm not coming across exactly how I want to, but I have that awareness and do you think I do?
I think even asking that question brings about self awareness. Like the fact that you can say, like I think this, I want to check in, like do you see that means that there's some self awareness there, Like it is. The guys in this show, from what the little that I saw, they're not looking for feedback from anybody, and if you give them feedback that does not align with what they want to hear, you're gonna get kicked out of their life. And there's no self awareness in that.
If we're self aware, we need to be open to feedback and open to like the things that we do wrong, which I feel like you try to do and I tried to do.
It's still hard.
Nobody likes to hear I think it depends. Feedback can be difficult, and I also like feedback.
You do. I think you like feedback more than most people.
I was working a red carpet thing with a team that I had never worked with before, and I didn't know if I would ever get to work with them before. I was filling in for somebody, and of course I wanted to do a good job. Yeah, and the producers are there with me and we have different you know,
celebrities coming up and we're doing interviews. In the middle of it, I was like, the head producer came up and gave me I wish I could remember exactly what it was, but she sort of gave me an out with each person that would be really helpful for how they were editing the videos. And I was like, oh,
that's genius. I love that. And I said that's so great, Like please tell me more, Like I want to know more because that's going to be a game changer for I close out each little interview and I want feedback. And a couple hours go by and we're walking out and the other producers is we were leaving for the evening. They were just walking me out. They weren't done for the night, but I was so they were nice enough to walk me out and they were like, and hey,
thanks for being open to feedback. We're not used to hearing like hearing that, yeah, and that's what we're called as like the interviewer or in my job, what I do. I don't call myself talent. That's what they call us. They're the producers, were the talent, and they're like, we're not used to hearing that from talent a lot. And
I was like, Oh, that didn't occur to me. I want to know if I can do something better, because why wouldn't I want to know it gave me a better way to do something, and then it makes their job easier and then everybody's better all around.
But you also have to be open to feedback. You have to have a certain amount of like ego strength. A lot of people don't have that, and if they get feedback, it kind of like hits on that I'm not good enough versus your like, I am good at my job. I also know that this is a new thing for me and feedback is great. So I think you have that confidence that allows you to take feedback. Yeah, but confidence doesn't mean I know exactly what I'm doing.
Okay, okay, because my self awareness right now telling me that I don't know that I'm necessarily the most confident person at all. However, front of the crowd, I do think, okay, okay, maybe I feel a little great on stage with a microphone, but I do that's when my cup feels full. Yeah, I think I get excited by that. I'm not like, oh, I'm the best at this at all whatsoever, but I enjoy it and so therefore it makes it like a
good experience for me. I do think the delivery of feedback is important because the way the head producer came over and told me, she was so supportive and like encouraged me and then gave it to me, and it overall is working with a good team. I do think that something if people are delivering criticism in a way that's that can jolt me because I'm sensitive to oh shoot, and now I'm not doing a good job. So then it could go the opposite and then my performance goes downhill.
But she did it in a way that still was constructive and lifted me up to where it only elevated me more to where I went upwards. But I am the type of performer where if I suddenly feel like I'm in trouble with something or I've done something terribly wrong, like it could go downhill fast because my confidence goes.
Like second guess yourself on everything, versus that person said it in a helpful, kind way. So the other person that's helping me trying to be better versus putting me down.
So I think it's just a good reminder in our delivery of feedback, whether it's at work or wherever we are, just in how we approach it, making sure we're doing it in which we've gotten constructive feedback from our listeners, and then we've gotten some time construct someone just criticizing us, and it hits different. I think we're like, oh cool, that's a thoughtful take. I hadn't thought of it that way, versus hey hater.
Yeah, when it's really bad, it's like, well, we're not even gonna take like I'm not taking that personally. But it's like when it's in the middle where it's like maybe if it's from somebody we respect, or is where we know it's.
Different than from a stranger. I don't know. I don't know. I was having this thought as you were talking.
Though, you know, there's always we think about, like, oh, they should teach us how to do taxes in high school and all this stuff, like there should be like and maybe they do this.
In some classes.
I know I took like a communication class, but I don't feel like we did this where you practice giving and receiving feedback and like process what it's like, because I feel like a lot of people don't mean to be bad at giving feedback or hurtful, but they don't know how to do it, like that's a skill in itself.
I'm sure I've delivered it not well again, depending on my mood or my hormones, what I'm going on, you know, like you may not it may not come out the way that you wanted.
And they're like yeah, And sometimes I feel I never want to hurt like not not it within like clients, well, I don't want to hurt their feelings either, but like within friendships or work relationships, I never want to hurt
somebody's feelings. So I think sometimes I can be too soft with feedback and then I don't do my due diligence versus like I wish I was taught how to give constructive good I feel like I'm getting better at it, but I wouldn't say I'm good at it, Like I want to be able to give feedback to people and also do it in that kind of way where I'm not like tiptoeing around them, you know what I mean. Yeah, I didn't know this existed, and so that's also why I was like.
Jarred to wells million. It's millions of followers.
And it's not my corner of the Internet. So I was like, what in the world? And it made me also think what else is out there that I have no idea about?
That?
Is this messed up a lot?
I think there's a lot. It's so fractured now, so thankfully instead of like I feel like back in the day, if there wasn't, Well, first of all, these people may not even have a corner of the Internet, so then there's that part they may not exist, or the manisphere obviously wouldn't. But because it's so fractured and there's so many other things, Luckily, if it ever gained traction, it doesn't have as many followers as it might because people have so many different things to focus on. Yeah, but
they are honing in on the young men. So if you're a mom of a young boy, like, just make sure he's not consuming the manosphere content. I guess unless you're into that.
I know, if you have a mom of a young boy, watch it first. I haven't finished it, so I can't shouldn't really say this. It might be something good for a teenage boy to watch and be like, this isn't what we want to do, because look at who these guys really are.
Oh yeah, like they can watch the Netflix stuff. I'm saying, like, make sure on their YouTube or they consuming because the more they watch the video is the more normal it's gonna feel and seem. And then their minds are so multiple, like they start to develop those thoughts early and then it can be very difficult to break and how they view women. And I don't know, I still need to watch the Netflix. I'm fully admitting I have not watched it yet.
Would you go back and live two thousands with that era of technology or would you like be like, well, we'll take something in the middle twenty ten. Would you go back and live two thousands with that era of technology or would you like be like, well, I'll take something in the middle twenty.
Ten ooh, twenty ten. It's pretty nice because we had a Twitter it'd be one hundred and fifty characters or less, and was Instagram around it. Not yet, I don't think. Maybe it was ten. It was early stages. Twenty eleven twenty twelve was when I first formed an account, and I wasn't right away, but we were pretty on top of it. I did enjoy Twitter a lot. I don't ever get on there anymore now that it's X like, I don't. It just seems dark over there.
But it was good times, yeah, and you would just like tweet like going to the grocery store, Yeah, I get some eggs.
Right, or something funny. But you had to make it.
It was to the point you're like, I wouldn't say that, nod, okay, So I didn't really tweet if you didn't have Twitter.
It wasn't like you might say something like that. But it was more so, gosh, I wonder if we should pull up some of my old tweets. Okay, if I was like, hey, guys, going to the grocery store getting some bread.
I feel like people tweeted what they were doing, but you only had like what one forty characters one hundred and fifteen, one hundred and fifty, which is like not a lot.
Okay.
So I joined Twitter in February of two thousand and nine. Oh. One of my big posts was from twenty seventeen, and it said, I said let's do this, and I put an American flag and it's been and I bringing the kids.
Home from Haiti. Well that's wholesome.
So that seems like an instagram ish type post.
You could put pictures on Twitter back then. That's interest. Oh that was twenty sixteen. You said, when was that?
Okay? So, and that was twenty seventeen. But in twenty sixteen, I did say we're parents all caps. We got the call Haiti here we come, leaving tomorrow for our two week bonding trip. So that's right after we got matched with the kids. So clearly I tweeted about the kids a lot. More kids. Let me try to find you something from the early day, give.
Me something funny.
You said, I know, I did, I know, I did more kids. Oh my gosh, Oh my gosh, more kids.
And then when you had Instagram and Twitter, how did you decide like what to put on?
What I mean, you did both. I think we even had them connected to where it would like post both Oh, here we are on family feud.
How do I go?
I need to go back to like the very beginning, like Radio Amy, Twitter. Nobody cares about this. Why am I even looking it up two thousand and nine. I joined February two thousand and nine, so why is it not?
You might have to just go back really far. This would be a good segment. This would be a good segment for us to do next week. We'll find some of your most embarrassing.
Tweets, now my funny ones, your funniest tweets.
There's a thing that people do now on like batcherette trips and stuff where they go My friend just texted me about this. She was like, dang, I wish you were coming on my bacherette trip because I just went back to like two thousand and eight at our Facebook posts. And the game is you put like somebody goes and looks up Facebook posts from all these people from whatever, and then you put them up on like a screen and you have to guess like who it.
Was that said it?
Like that's funny, and also that would be more deifying because what was I saying?
Yeahto knows?
Because I have eighteen thousand posts. You are on Twitter. I was going tweeting all the time. I did post this, what do the Greek use to cut their pizzas?
What did the Greek?
Huh? What did the Greek used to cut their pizzas? Little caesars?
Nothing's changed? I feel like that's something you would say now. Yeah, so no grocery store tweets?
Yeah, so far I have. I mean I but.
Also you are a public figure, so you're not telling people where you're going.
Well, I wouldn't say which grocery store. You think If I say I'm going to the store to get some eggs, that's getting away where people.
Might be running to ever grocery store around town. Anyway, Sorry, lem o, how did we get there?
I don't know. Oh what part of technology would you want to be in?
Okay, Yeah, that's an interesting question. I should have stuck with that.
You I think I would want to be I want the Internet because I.
Like Google.
Yeah. I like having a cell phone because when I had a pager and I.
Had a to the payphone and that was rough, but you didn't know it was rough because that probably was like, at least I have a pager back then. It's all relative though, Like when I was little and I my mom dropped me on for the movie. She gave me a quarter, and after the movie I called her from the payphone. Then I had to wait and have her come pick me up. That seems archaic now, but back
then it was just very normal. So I wish I could go back and never know about what we've had, because then that would be I'm like, oh, we're so with it. We have payphones, that's cool, you know what I mean. I think I would want to be like two, Like I remember when I was learning about the Internet in like fifth grade, Like I want to go back to that, and like with you did a research paper in school, you went to the library and you checked books out.
You didn't use chat GPT.
We definitely didn't use that, but we didn't like have like a database on a computer, Like now the library is on the computer.
You can search those things anywhere.
And like, I don't know, I think I would I miss more technology, more problems, is what they said.
That's what your motto, Any tech more props. Yeah, Well, we were talking about hormones of my self awareness with that, so I do want to bring up a voicemail that we got about hormone replacement therapy. This is from Mindy in Kansas, and she's sharing her own personal positive experience with it because I've just started my hormone journey, or my latest hormone journey where I'm really dialing in and I get my second iron infusion this week, and I will say I had no idea how the iron infusion
last week was going to knock me down. I was so fatigued, So heads up. I mean, they do kind of warn you of that, but then you're like, yeah, yeah, yeah, they even say potential flu like symptoms. I did not have those, but I did have fatigue. I was very, very, very tired. And so I have my appointment in a couple of days, so I'm gearing up for the tiredness. But now it's not as unfamiliar. I know what to
expect and I just have to deal with it. Like it's not gonna be fun, but I'm gonna deal with it, and I'm gonna know that hopefully two weeks on the other side of that, because that's when I told you to start to really start judging me. Is two weeks after my last iron infusion. So two weeks from this week, you can see if I'm different, and you can be honest. I want the feedback, Okay, I do, and I think
you can take it. But really, if I don't change, I'm gonna be heartbroken because I felt like I'm changing, but the iron has set me back.
Well again, I think that you're getting the symptoms that are supposed to come with that.
M So that is that I love my Yam Pellett.
Because after the Yam pellet, you were on cloud nine.
I was feeling good, which that's Mindy speaks to her testosterone experience and how it is a game changer for her. So we'll go ahead and play Mindy's voicemail. Here it is bigurel.
It's many from Kansus. I just thought I would holler love your podcast. Armpits so funny. I work in an office and towards the end of the day, I will squat down at my desk where nobody can see me and put on deodorant. I have a dance studio and you never know what you're gonna see there. So my girls are always showing everything and putting on deyodurant, and I would rather that than smell them or lose them going to the bathroom. Also, I had a boyfriend once
and he was the kindest about the breakup situation. I think he was missing an ex. Obviously this is not the case for you, Amy, but he was so kind. He was like, I just want you to know it's this has nothing to do with you. This is everything to do with me. I don't know why I feel this way, Like you're wonderful. I mean, gave me all the reasons. Like still at the end of the day, right, it sucks, and I still respect him for it. I
see him a couple of times a year. We live decently close, have kids kind of the same age, and both are very happily married with a family. And anyways, just yes, so nice to know that people can speak her on ups and not complete assholes. And then the other thing, I had just maybe turned forty, and I was like, why do I feel eighty five? Like nobody can tell me I don't have energy? I feel like
this because I'm forty, Like I'm not listening. I'm sorry, And so anyways, I ended up having to go several different places, and hormone replacement therapy is where I went, and I'm also on testosterone and it has been so life changing. She gave me the option of injection once a week by myself, like a bugle in my cheek. It absorbs, and I went with the injection. I thought, if I don't like it, it's a waste of one hundred and fifty dollars and I'll choose something else whatever.
But really it is not a big deal at all. And I inject myself once a week. It is pretty fulous. Swear. I was sitting there and I have never in my life. Then the girl that's like, oh, we should go to bed now, I am really in the mood, and I swear to you, I was sitting there and I was like, oh my gosh, I could take my husband to bed
right now. And it's not that I'm crazy feifty for any stretch of imagination, but it is so nice to have the energy to you know, be in the mood, to just feel like I feel like I should have felt probably for the last twenty and so anyways, I'm guessing, yeah, I was also at like a ten. With hormone replacement therapy, you do get a little bit it is a little bit higher of a range and she is totally fine with the way that is because I am happy with
the way I am functioning. I'm able to work out, able to you know, put in fourteen hour days and just I mean still at the end of the day, I'm tired, but not like I was. I don't even know how I was functioning. So anyways, hope you girls. Oh and Cat, first of all, I'm so sorry, congratulations. I'm so happy for you. I just love listening to all of the updates for sure. Don't feel like you're bogging anybody down by them.
Have the day you need to have by you gave a pregnancy update, so yeah, earlier. So I'm sure Mindy's happy for that. And that was a very cute way to end it. And you know, she talked about her testosterone being a little bit higher than where she would want it, but that's fine because she's feeling good. Yeah, you have to just pay attention to your own body and how you're feeling. I will say a side effect I think I'm having for my testof stone right now
as my chest is sort of breaking out. I have to go back for blood work in a couple of weeks, so i'll know more of where my levels are. But apparently online it said this will subside. It's something that just started to pop up. And you know, I took care of my chest rash when I got rid of fabric softeners, and uh so try your sheets. Well I'm calling it a rash. No, they're bumps like you pop them like pop, No, but like cyst like you can't
pop them. But they're big bumps and they and that's what I was getting from my scented soaps and my dryer sheets. So my chest is sensitive. But I think what's happening to it now because I had cleared it up. It's got to be the testosterone and I just have to power through. My body is unfamiliar and so.
It's gonna normalize.
Yeah that's the word. Did she learned that in your research class? Research normalized?
I think that's very normal longitudinal. I liked this voiceman because I feel like she covered so much ground.
She did, which I mainly wanted to share it because of the hormone stuff, but I didn't. I forgot how long it took her to get there, So I should have set it up differently of like, oh, yeah, she's going to touch on how I don't like when I see people. I'm perplexed by people putting on their Deodora on video because that just freaks me out. I would never And then the breakup, I guess she's referring to. My breakup was really healthy and well.
We talked about how too, I had that one boyfriend that was very nice. Oh yeah, you know.
I also have to say I love how she said I wanted to take my husband to bed. It felt like such like a I don't know, like an old, olden day.
I don't like. No old fashion.
Is that one they used to say, like I want to take you to bed? And like, why don't we say that more?
Now? She said it because we got to be on more testosterone.
I guess now I feel like it's more like raunchy and like that's just like oh okay.
Sweet sweet sweet, Yes, Mindy from Kansas who is not eighty five but in her forties ish when you're around them, around it there because you know age, location, name, If you're willing to share with us, we're building data on you.
I'm just kidding.
We just want to know.
It's just fun.
Wait, did you know you're not going to care about this but now I'm gonna share it.
Do you remember when Pokemon Go was a thing?
Yeah?
Did you ever doo it?
No?
Did your kids?
No?
Right, I didn't either. But turns out they actually are using all of that.
Data for AI, the Pokemon Go data, like all like the geographical stuff.
I don't really understand it.
But there's like a debate of like, was it ever really for Pokemon Go or is it a ploy to get people to then.
Get all this data for AI?
Maybe?
Crazy?
Maybe?
So you gotta be careful what games you're playing play online that was not even online. That's like in the world you Pokemon Go. I'm pretty sure people would like you have to travel around to play.
Yeah. I never was into it, so I vaguely remember, Yeah, people going.
It really surprises me. You never played that?
What I'm okay? I was like, do you even know me? Okay, okay, okay, all right. We love hearing from y'all. Make sure you send us a voicemail or an email, anything and everything that you want to eight seven seven two o seven two oh seven sevens the number and hey, they're up feeling things podcast dot com is the email and we hope wherever you are you have the day you need to have. Bye bye,