FEELING THINGS: Does the Process Know We’re Trusting It? (3 Things That’ll Help You Keep Going)

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If you ever have feelings that you just wons maybe a cat gotcha Cob and locking m brother Lady's folks, do you just follow an the spirit where it tell us the phn real stuff to the chill stuff and the m but swaying. Sometimes the best thing you can do it just stop you feel things. This is feeling things.

With Amy and Kat.

Happy Tuesday. Welcome to feeling things. I'm Amy and.

I'm Cat and I'm starting with the feeling of the day because I'm feeling so relieve right now.

Tell us more.

And this has a lot to do with you. Has everything to do with you, really, because a weight has been lifted off of my chest and I think this there's probably something deeper going on that I probably should work through with my own therapist. But yesterday you sent me a text that said something to discuss with you tomorrow when you come over or maybe a dinner conversation.

Oh okay, okay, yes, now I know what you're talking about it and you don't like messages like.

That, so you sent me that, and I think I was trying to be cool because you've done this before. I don't know if you've noticed this, but like you've done this before where you said, like I.

Want to talk about X, and I'm like, oh, oh, let's talk about it. But it's in your head.

It's probably not that big of a deal, but like, I don't know what you're going to say about it, so I need to know.

So I was trying to practice like coolness and calmness and trust and all the things. So I just was like okay.

And then later I think I said, so, what do you need to oh, because then later you sent me something else and I said, oh, is.

That what you needed to discuss? And you were like no, no, And I was like, okay, well you're giving me anxiety? What is it? And you didn't answer me. You left me like you re let me hanging.

And I was like, shoot, oh, I had a busy phone call dayesterday, which I'm sorry about that, but now I know why you're feeling. Is your feeling of the day is you're probably feeling relief, right, it's relieved.

Do I not even say what my feeling?

I don't know if you did. I only know because I read relieved, but I didn't know what you were relieved about. Okay, you said it. Now I was getting nervous that like what I had done to you because I was like, wait a second, what did I do? But now I know you're relieved because I finally told you what it was and you realize it's not that big of bod deal.

Yes, but listen to the text that I sent you, and this is just like to me, it reminds me of my mom will send a text and be like call me, and I'm like, who in our family has died?

Or who had a heart attack? Because why wouldn't you just text me something? Or why can't you call me?

You know, it's like I can't sit there and then like go have a session with a client, like I need to know.

So like share with this worst case scenario what you thought I needed to talk to you about.

Well, I'm trying to find Oh you said I have something to run by you. Oh how a dinner combo tomorrow or tomorrow I will see you or tomorrow when I see you when we record. I don't know what it was, but I was thinking like it either could be like something really exciting or it's like we need to talk about something. But then when you said dinner, I was like, Okay, well, like, it can't be anything too personal or bad.

Like I was thinking, you know, is a scenario, Oh is something not going well with the podcast?

Yes, that was part my initial but then I was like, no, Catherine, like, it can't be that because that's not dinner Kravo.

She would like have a conversation with you about that.

You talk to yourself full name when you talk to yourself, Yes, Catherine, Catherine, Elizabeth Brittany.

Yes, Yath and Mary Francis, Sally Brittany, Defauda dan Buren. So then I said, what are you wanting to discuss? This is giving me anxiety? And you just go on talking about whatever else?

You didn't. You just didn't.

I think you didn't probably see that because we were talking about something else at the same time, and I think you were on the phone and then and then you and then you're talking to me about something else and I go, okay, is this what you we have to talk about?

And you just go no, lol, yeah, because I'm like, why would I make a big deal to talk about that, which I wasn't trying to make a big deal. First of all, Well.

You didn't, I did, okay, thank you?

I was, I do this a lot where I try to just make little notes so I don't forget. So I feel like if I tell you, we won't forget. But now I know if I tell you, I'm sending you into panic mode and you're going worst case scenario and you're like, I need to know, don't do this to me. So I'll work on that. But I'll even text myself or email myself little notes of like, you know,

But if your boyfriend sent you a text and was like, I know we're not dating, but like if your boyfriends sitting in a text was like I have something I need to talk to you about tomorrow.

What do you My boyfriend's studis to you? What and my boyfriend's studis to you?

Just like that's like the typical, like, hey, we need to talk, so maybe we need another thing for this, like hey, I need to talk to you about something NBD, no big deal, oh MBD, because in your head again, it wasn't a big deal. So when I keep asking you about it, you didn't respond.

To be fair, what I ended up sharing with you was sort of a big deal, but not in like a big deal like you need to know about it, but it was ehind okay, everything was okay. It was special. I wanted to share with you a revelation I had in therapy and you, being a therapist. I thought you would appreciate it because my therapist helped me work through something and I'm like, I felt so much better after

Yeah, which was actually so sweet.

That's but no, we're like, oh, I'm relieved. You were just wanting to sort of compliment me, and I do see how though I caused some That's why I thought it would be okay to talk about at dinner, because I would like it would have been if we were with you know, my boyfriend and your husband and we're out to eat and I were to say, like, you know, Kat, just thinking about your line of work and what you

Yeah, or like anything bad.

So instead of NBD, why don't we say ETO, Everything's okay.

Okay, I'm gonna send them all, gonna be the ETO MVD all good. Everything is fine, But I like talk about this later but not like a big deal. Later is just sort of which is something that I want to talk to you about but I don't want to forget. But a hunt IP talk about right now.

I think that this is probably more something I need to work on. It's like I'm jumping to like conclusions. Why am I still on edge? Yeah, Like I that there could have been so many scenarios my brain made up, but I made up this like worst case scenarios.

I saw so many memes that were very fitting to my therapy appointment yesterday. I guess once one popped up in my algorithm like other videos were popping up of Like, you know, trust the process is a common saying. I feel like I been saying it a lot lately myself. Trust the process, Trust the process. And have you seen the memes where it's like does the process? No, we are trusting it, And to me it's so funny and yeah, it's like, hello, I am trusting you process.

Why aren't you being so crazy?

Are you aware?

Yeah?

Because you're acting like you don't know that we're over here trying to trust you.

Did you talk about that in your therapy session the meme and talk about the meme?

No?

But when I left therapy, though, I felt like the process like heard me a little bit and I was like, okay, so you in the process are working. Process showed up, showed up with a little bit, and then I showed some trust. Something that my therapist did say to me, like point blank is like Amy, a lot of times you're talking to me and you you start off one way and sound very fearful, like I have a lot of fear, but then I work my way through it.

You know, they call yeah, they call that, and maybe this is not exactly what you're talking about, but you've heard the phrase play the tape through.

No I have not, Oh so tell me.

So that's a lot of times, specifically in recovery, but like any type of process in therapy, we can use this. But if somebody is worried about something, or if somebody is wanting to do something that they don't know is like it might be a little risky, We'll say play

With all the information?

Let me ask you this, okay, Catherine, Yes, next time you get a text message from somebody that's like, hey, I need to talk to you about something, maybe you could play the tape through.

Are you sitting there just thinking and waiting to see me.

I'm like, hm, cat should play the tape through.

I should play the tape here?

Should you see?

That is why therapist needs to go to therapy, because like, we have our own stuff and it's easy to dish it out, but sometimes we need to be able to sit and hear it.

Yeah. Well, I also kept wanting to go like big picture though too. I understand like playing the tape through just for the moment, but like I want to play the tape through and it be accurate, like I want to know what's happening. And then she brought me back to like, let's stop focusing on what the next six months look like and let's focus on what the next day looks like. Like break it down into bite sized pieces.

I don't know if you've wrout that.

How do you mean an elephant one by a time? That's right, because an elephant as a whole is very overwhelming, but if you break it down and eat it one bit at a time, you'll get there.

Eventually that's the next right thing.

The next right thing. So like, what's the next right thing I can do today or this minute? Like depending on how micro you need to go right, yeah, because it might be you could look at it it's a week if you want, because maybe you've got overwhelmed by the month of the year. So for you, maybe you go down to the week, but some people might need to go down to like the minute.

Yeah, I was gonna say hour, but minute also works.

And that's okay. Some tips that she walked me through and like getting there were like sometimes even just giving yourself little task to do to show you that you can do it, Like what's something you've been putting off?

Well, it also teaches you that you can do things.

Yeah, so like, is there an email you've been putting off and it's really not that big of a deal, Like, but you know you need to send the email. Sit down and get out your computer and make yourself send that email. And then you're like, all right, I sent an eave sent an email, yeah or whatever that next, right,

Yeah, but you and you decorated it.

And the lone people that knew She's like, but you need And then that showed me like, thank you Lord for the experts along the way that helped guide me, like I didn't have to do it alone, but yeah, also I did it. Yeah, And I need to remember that because I guess my big story that pops up a lot no matter what area is that I'm not capable. So and I feel like there's times where I've overcome it and then it will rear it's ugly little hey.

Well, I think also that what's coming up for me is when it comes to being capable, we can get lost in the all or nothing of that. Because how you were saying, like this is my house, I bought this house and they're like, well I needed a realtor.

Well yeah, but doesn't mean you weren't capable.

And I think I do this too, where I'm like, I it can be really hard on myself for not knowing how to do something and then therefore putting it off because it's overwhelming or needing extra help with something. And you know, I love to do things on my own, like, no matter what it is, whether it's a home project or whatever.

I'm like, I can do that. My nails.

I can't do that, though, but like, I love being able to do something on my own.

And something that I will always remember is when.

I started having my father in law do my taxes because he's a tax accountant, which was a risk because we weren't married. And I was like, I'll let this guy see my finances. I got really embarrassed because he was asking me questions and I was like, I don't know what you're asking me. And I used to keep track of all my finances for work on a like a word doc.

Well that's okay, I think you're gonna say a.

Napkin no on like a word doc. So I would just like always write everything out and so like I sent that to him and he was like, I can can't use this.

Don't you have Excel? And I was like, I don't really know how to use that.

So Patrick helped me put it all in Excel because word docs you can't like do control all the things and whatever it has. So I sent it to a Excel and I was like, I'm sorry, like I don't know anything about taxes, and he goes, that's okay, I don't know anything about being a therapist. That's why you're a therapist. And I'm a tax accountant. And I was like,

On my own. I don't have you all knowing.

Yeah, I love that. That's what I mean too about the the realtor part is like I thank you for people that came in, and also that I could trust some people that work with realtors or lenders that screw them over. So I was able to do it and I was able to find people to trust. And something else that fits in the vein of like, okay, one minute at a time, one hour at a time, one

You want to know something that's kind of depressing, but like a similar vein, it was very helpful to me, So it's not bad depressing. When I went through a really bad breakup, and if you've been through a really bad breakup, it feels like you physically feel sick, Like the pain is not just emotional, it is like physical. And in my head, it was the first one I had ever gone through, so in my head, I was like, how am I ever going to not feel this again?

Like I don't know how to.

Get out of this, And what I did is I looked for people who like had gone through breakups and then I was like, where are they now? And like there was one specific there was like a song I think it was a Johnny Swim song or something like that, and it was like so sad and so depressing. Then I was like, they're married and they have children and they're happy, and so that hope was like, Okay, I know people can do this. People don't stay in this forever.

Took you borrowed their story, borrowed their story, Yeah, to drink you up and get you moving and get you out there and get on the apps. Yeah, download hinge. I think about it. Without Hinge, you would not have met your husband.

Technically, well that's not true. You would have met your boyfriend. Yeah, well okay, what I sorry?

But you know I had that other guy I dated from Hinge, I wouldn't have had that experience.

And that brought us a lot of I did bring.

Us a lot of joy.

It was cool.

I still run into it and like he maybe, like you brought him to my rehearsal dinner, Like who knows, if he wasn't there, maybe something else would have happened, and we don't know if like it would have been the same.

You know, do you remember the speech I gave at your rehearsal dinner was so pretty perfect because we all met on Hinge, and so I was like, so it was only appropriate that I bring a guy I met on Hinge and this is our second date and our first date was only like a one an hour drink thing, like we met for a cocktail for one hour.

Yeah, but I really wanted you to bring him. Yeah you did also like what a good sport, And I thought that, Yeah.

I thought this is gonna be so fun. I'm gon end up marrying the guy that I brought to cats.

And then I can hear that speech at year.

Yeah I know, I really I mean not that I really thought we're gonna get married, but you know what, and then I had taken a trip with him, Well, we went to the US Open. Yeah, so anyway, not that this any of this matters. Like I don't even know why we're going down this memory lane. But we were with another couple and they were taking pictures and like we weren't like together together. So but also I was like, do we take a picture? And then so we took pictures of them, and then I remember I

But like, what do you think the message is that he got when you're like just in case?

Oh, come on, do you think he was thinking that deep?

No, you're right.

He probably was like, sure, I'll take you just in case, what like just in case we die. I don't know what he was thinking, and I don't know why I just give him that accent, but like I just like, should we take a pic, you know, just in case? And then I was like, here's my camera and so now somewhere in my camera roll, I have a just in case.

Pick because don't get rid of it.

If we ended up together, then like, yeah, we would have wanted to pick on that rock.

Or like what if he becomes like super famous, then you can be like we went to New York together once.

Yeah, so I have that just in case super famous for what.

I don't know.

I know people got famous for anything. Now, yeah, he could get a TikTok. I don't even he has social media. Let's be honest. He was using Facebook, remember, yes, I was like, not that that's bad any of our listeners that do it at all, because like Facebook's a thing, but like that was his primary upload.

I have an update on what.

I don't want to change the subject, but on the go for it. Okay, Facebook made me remember it. Speaking of doing one task at a time, Yesterday, I was on Facebook Marketplace because I'm looking for a bench for my entryway. So if you have, if you see anything, let me know. And I'm trying to Patina, so I'm trying to get something used.

And you know the bench in my injury way. You don't the cute, it's cute, I probably do well. I bought it on Facebook market Place.

Really, okay, I need to look at it after.

I need to never notice anything. I'm like, hey, do you notice that? And you're like what, Sorry, You're just kidding.

I'm not observant.

So I got some motivation out of I don't know where, because I went and checked to see if I made it into the Facebook group yet my subdivision Facebook.

Group, and I haven't. So I messaged the board of directors on Facebook.

Okay, so this is the next right step. Okay.

I don't know if they use that group anymore because the last post was from twenty twenty four, but it was like the next thing for me to be able to do. If they don't answer, then I'm going to look at who's on the board of Directors and directly message them.

But here's the thing.

I don't look at my Facebook messages or I think they're spam you know.

So I'm fraid they're not gonna Well.

You're gonna have to be intentional about checking your messages if you really want to be in this group.

No, I'm saying, if they get a message from me, are they even going I'm looking to see if they answered me, are they even going to open it? You know?

Oh? Well, I feel like if someone's when they're monitoring a group like that.

They haven't answered.

I said, Hi, I've been trying to join the neighborhood Facebook group since September when we moved in.

Can someone help me out? Smiley face. That's good.

You talk to any of your neighbors that are part of it.

Yes, My one neighbor that I knew before I moved in, her she doesn't have Facebook, but her husband dies and she said keeps saying I need to tell my husband to send them a.

Message, but I don't want to. I don't want to make a big deal about it because like, yeah, be cool. I'm trying to be cool. But I've just brought it up on this podcast for times.

Just you're moving forward, because the next thing after borrowing someone else's story, borrow your neighbors. Yeah, borrow hope that your neighbors in the group. Yeah, but like you're gonna still move forward without clarity. You have no idea if they're going to accept you, But you just keep moving forward. Because that's another thing that my therapist has had to drill into me, is that a lot of times I want to know what's happening, and I've had to surrender

Been.

My ex husband and I had a good conversation today that is a complete one eighty from where I was yesterday with something we have going on, and I'm like, what look at us? Like I just kept moving forward yesterday doing the next right thing, and then the next

I have an idea what I have human Well, you've said like I'm open to creative solutions. I feel like, yeah, this is a you've you came up with a creative solution.

Oh my gosh. That's when my Gaby Bernstein days, which I'm sure a lot of people say that, but a couple of years ago I was listening to a lot of her stuff and that was Oh, I did my sister and I did her twenty one day not meditate, yeah, maybe meditation challenge. I think it was, yeah, meditation, but manifestation maybe you know, I'll try it. Uh So I forgot about that and that was such a good thank you for reminding me of that. Oh good little nugget there.

Yeah, so your creative solution goggles?

Yes? Is that a cute enough name for you? Said, my creative solution cs I can either put on my CSGS or my FG's Yeah, girl, yeah girl. You know we like an acronym. So with my CSGS. Today, well, I feel so much better and it's like we were able to work together as a team. And this has nothing to do with me and Ben by the way. It's something we're having to work on together, but it's not our relationship. And I'm like, look at us, and this feels so much better and I feel good about it.

The Lord gave you the creative solution goggles. Yeah, like you accepted them. And this kind of reminds me of what we learned about from Courtney cook shout out that her positive attitude probably makes that food taste better, just like you having a different outlook allows you to see more opportunities.

Right, We did google that to fact check her taste buds, because that is something that, yeah, is very good theory of yours because I think, to quote you exactly, you're like, she could eat gravel and be like, hmmm, crunchy.

To put manaise on it, but then she would eat it.

She spirt it with mayonnaise. M yummy. Because yeah, she overall has a very positive demeanor and I love that, and I'm not always going to be that way, but yeah, I wonder if we're in a good mood or a bad mood, like it affecting our taste greats.

Speaking of have you seen the videos?

Won't do a whole podcast on her, but have you seen the videos of her eating, like showing you her pregnancy cravings.

I only saw one that she did with her daughter, like, which I thought was really cute because she had her daughter and she was like, Hey, this is what I was craving when you were in my belly.

Do you remember what it was?

Something like popcorn dipped in something else, dipped in something else.

Oh, that doesn't sound too bad. This one was like cottage cheese and pork rimes. Oh, and some kind of sauce. Maybe it was mayonnaise, Like you must have been in a really good you were having the pregnancy glow when you ate that?

Because what anyway, Yeah, LG's.

Cgg csgg fgese. You know what we need is we need a feeling things dictionary that has all our acronyms. Yes, yeah, that's the one that I can remember.

This is pretty much the only one. I even though we just came up with wtw oh yeah, wait to worry.

Yeah, and T B nope, n B D.

Yeah that's not hard I know, but we're gonna use it like s I B we literally made.

Yeah, we made that up. We'll put an asterisk on ones that we didn't trademark T A s A P.

BRP I K y k n k oh. I don't even know that one, if you know, you know?

I okay, why I know we should Well, no, we shouldn't. I don't know how interesting would be if we went through a list of all the like cool acronyms and if we knew what they were, because like, how often are you googling an acronym when your kids text you something?

Thankfully they don't really use tons of like.

Do you know t d l R t l d R.

T l d R No, I'm too.

Long didn't read, so people will like, no, no, no, it's not no, no, no, no, no, it's not bad.

It's actually helpful.

Like if somebody I think, I don't know, if somebody writes a really long post at the end, they'll be like t L D R and then they'll just give like the short version of it. Oh, do you know what f WW is? F ww fwww. No, No, think it's just f WW for what it's worth?

For what? What about the I? It's f I.

Don't think they put that in there.

F W i W.

Maybe maybe some people use that, some people don't.

Well, they need to keep it straight if they're gonna do real acronyms. I need every letter because there's no way I'm going to figure it out how our.

Dictionary will keep the eye. Anyway, just a little in case you didn't know, we.

Have an email from I believe you say it's Zoe Zoe.

How is it Zoe?

It's Zoe z O?

I E.

Zoe? Wow? And why language would that be?

Zo?

Zoe?

Zoe Zoe Zoe. Hi, Amy and kat I just finished listening to your episode about what you're watching and reading, and I wanted to tell you that one. I love Emily Henry books, so you made a good choice. If you end up liking her books, I suggest you check out Alie Hazelwood, Lucy Score, and Laura Gilmour. I think you'll love her Dream Harbor series. These are a few of my favorites. Two you said in your four books, said that one of them is called You and Me

You really only got three books.

I only got three books. Well, I mean I can give the fourth away to somebody else that maybe wants to read.

It's nice.

And then she was like, depending on which country it's for. I'm like, did I order them in English?

Wait? Yeah, because why would they change the English name on the English book if they changed the other.

I don't know. But then you know, you were like Hey, what's the link that you got the four pack on? And then I went to it and it was like no longer unavailable, no longer available, like I bought the last four pack.

I guess, So what link did you give me?

I gave you the link, but there's you can't buy anything from it.

Oh I linked that in our news.

I know.

I realized that after I was like, oh my gosh, yeah, no I didn't. It's nothing I noticed right away, but then I noticed like, oh, you can't even buy it, like I must have bought the last one, which then makes you think like did I really get books?

Have they come yet?

Or they're like, finally someone bought that four pack?

Wait? Has it come here?

Yeah, they've come, but they're still wrapped in their plastic because I haven't opened them yet because I'm reading The Nightingale. Oh yeah, pretty much done with that. And then once I finished The Nightingale, which is so good, I'm moving on to my other three books from Emily Henry and then thanks to Zoe here, I gotta check out Ali, Lucy and Laurie h Okay.

So, also, I wonder if that sold out right after the movie came out, because the people were probably buying it.

Oh good point, not because I certainly you scammed. Yeah, like you got scammed for the weed of bis.

Oh my gosh, can we talk about that?

Sure?

So somebody, can I tell you?

I Can I tell you something right now?

NBD?

Now can I tell it to you right now? So you don't have something? And it's really not that big deal, but like I don't I know what you're going to say.

I know what you're going to say.

They don't like when I asked for permission to talk about things because you want it to feel like I can talk about whatever I want.

That right there was more like girl, can we talk about that? Like girl talk?

You know?

Well, I thought we were going back to our old ways, and like during the fifth thing, when it was like my podcast and then you would be coming on as a guest, sometimes you'd be like, ooh, can we talk about this? But then when we joined forces and became one podcast together, sometimes you would still ask that, and I'll be like, stop, like you, it's just as much yours as it is mine, So take it wherever you want. Girl. If you want to talk about weed a bic, go for it.

But also, here's my thought too, because I do listen to podcasts that have like multiple co hosts, and something that does grind my gears is when a host is telling a story and then the other hosts like hi, or even when they're just interviewing, and when somebody hijack jack something and then like you lose track of where you're going because I interrupt you and I go over on a tangent.

Okay.

So sometimes when I ask for permission, it's because like I don't I have ADHD and I can't just let you finish, and I want to make sure I'm not derailing you because you might have you might be going somewhere you know.

Oh that makes sense, so you're being considerate.

And yeah, I'm always like they might allowed to talk.

Then my gears were grinding, and I was like, I got to tell you something right now, stop okay.

But that was more like we have to talk about this, like, girl, can we talk about that? Because we posted that weied debix video and we said like I think in the video you were like, yeah, you paid fourteen ninety nine for this, which I did, and then somebody commented that you can buy it for forty nine at al.

Aldi Aldi, how do you say it?

Aldi? And then somebody else said they got it for five dollars on Amazon, So I went.

And looked, and I checked.

I did pay fourteen ninety nine more than it, so fifteen something with tex in that same link, same exact link. Then was like on sale for five forty seven. I paid three times as much. And then there's this fancy button that Amazon has now where you can like click it and a little chatbot will come up and explain to you the price history. And it said that we debix can be anywhere from like fifteen dollars to five dollars average of for this it's the same box. Yeah, yeah,

Like you must have bought it when Oh, my boyfriend's calling. Oh hey, do you want to answer it?

No, I'm talking about Weeda bes. No, you can answer it.

No, what am I going to say?

Like somebody says funny things?

Oh? I just rejected him.

I wish my husband would call me. He's not at work.

Y'all don't call each other at work though, that's the thing. Okay, that's like the there are there's almost like there's two types of people in the world, those that like talk while they're at work and those that just don't. And Alex and I will call each other multiple times during the work day.

Yeah, does he not like at an office?

He has an office? Does he go to office? Where is he like calling you when he's on his way somewhere?

He has a stand up desk because sometimes I FaceTime and he's standing up.

And he can talk to you on the phone while he's at work, and nobody's like, why aren't you working?

He's the boss?

Okay? Is true? That's true. I think that's a difference.

I mean there's other so the way his company works, like, yes he's CEO, but there are other there's a company that owns their company and that so technically that guy's in the building too, so technically he answers to those guys. But like in his office, he's I mean, but okay.

I know that we know this.

When you just said that your boyfriend is the CEO, Like, do you get to go to the company Christmas party and be like I'm with the CEO?

No? His company Christmas party was in New York and I was like, well, oh am I going to go because I would love to go to New York. Well, first of all, it was on a weeknight and I have work, so I couldn't go anyway. But he's like, also, it's not plus one. So I was like, what, Yeah, what kind of Christmas party is that? That's what I said, lame.

Oh, well, I guest Patrick's isn't either.

They just do it like it's like after work and everybody gets together and it's whole thing. And I'm like, but I mean, you flew from Nashville to go to this party.

Wait, that's actually Patrick's companies too, like they have I think obviously in New York are somewhere where people will all come down for the party and it's just like one night after work and we're not invited. But for some reason, I'm like, if you're the CEO, then you can bring your whoever you want.

Yeah, but then at that party in New York, he's but it's almost like he's head of some parts. But then when he's there, there's people that are bigger fish.

Okay, you know it's still cool. You're that's cool. Yeah, that's really cool. So that's why he can call you during the day.

I guess.

So, so I've actually tested the waters because I'm like, I want to talk to him.

I would.

I don't like going ten hours without talking to my husband. And so I've called him before and he's just like, what do you need something like It's like he's he thinks that there's like a obviously there's an emergency, so why she's calling me?

So I don't want to scare him anymore?

Right, So, yeah, he's starting to be like who died?

Literally, I'm doing to him what I don't want people to do it. But also, now this has actually been really tough for us.

It's been tough for me. I don't think it's been tough for him. So his office is getting in a new office. So for the next couple of weeks he's working from home, and for the past couple of weeks, so.

I'm home and he's home, but I can't talk to him because he's working. Because he's working.

One time I tried to give him a glass of water and I walked in on a call, and I think I embarrassed him.

You're right, Wait a second, who cares?

Right?

Did they see?

Well?

I was in my robe and like had like my retainer in and.

Like I had like.

Yeah on you okay, but I opened the door.

I cracked the door and I was like hi, and he was he like threw his like headphones off.

He was like I'm on a call.

Like I startled him. I think he was like, I don't want you to interrupt me. So we're gonna have to figure out a code of like when can I we need a like a light on the door, like we know when somebody's recording.

Like on air. Yeah, yes, like I'm on a call, on a call, yeah.

Yes, speaking of did you you used to have like the beads hanging.

Down from your door when you're worse? Oh yeah? Did you ever have a doorbell on your room?

No?

I had that too. Yeah.

Did your dad install a doorbell? Well it was like, I mean he's a builder, so like that would.

Be really my dad didn't saw a doorbell. But you do know he took my door off the hinges.

I do you know that?

Yeah?

No, it was like you know those like closet lights that like just stick to the wall. Yeah, it was like that vibe but it made a sound cute. Yeah, yeah, anyway, that just needed to come out of my breath.

Yeah, should we get back to that.

It could be something cute. No, I mean I just had the email and I was thankful for that, and then that took us on the weed to bix and then you're but honestly, once I moved on to the email, like I was done with my therapy revelations from yesterday when because I was like, does the process even know we're trusting it? And now I know it doesn't. It doesn't, It doesn't.

Doesn't need, it doesn't need exactly.

You still have to trust the process. You have to do the next right thing. What's the next teeny tiny step. You have to borrow hope wherever you can get it. And then you don't have to know the full picture. You have to move forward without clarity.

I think that's the hardest one.

Those are the three things of trusting the process or like trusting that you can trust the process. But you can't just like trust the process.

You have to trust that you can.

You have to take action and those are little things you can do, right.

That's really helpful. I like that, Thank you.

There're little nuggets. Yeah, But anyway, therapy was so relieving.

You were relieved, and I was released.

It's worth every penny yesterday.

I see. That's the dream.

If somebody leaves your office thinking that, like almost like I would have paid double?

Would you go that far?

Mm?

Like I already paid a lot. I guess.

I mean, I suppose I'm my because we had some good revelations, like even I haven't teared up in therapy in a while, and I got choked up.

Here's a question.

But it had to do with my dad. So and I remember she was like, stay with that, stay with that. She's like, what's the what's coming up for you right now? Stay with it, don't shut it down. And I was like, I think it's for my dad, and maybe just some I was taking on what I believe to be because it's hard to know for sure because there was a

Like, yeah, I could go get a job, but I want you to.

Right, But but why like he had to work so hard. That's also what just just you know what grinds my gears. It's like it would have taught me something like it would have I would have had. Not that I don't I have a poor work ethic, but I just think I could have done that in high school and college.

You didn't have a job in high school and college.

I mean I was a nanny for a little bit in high school when I had part time, like my senior year, I only had half the day, and then I was a hostess for six weeks one summer, and then in college, no I mean I worked at this weight loss clinic one summer. I was toxic.

Ang I did not know you did it.

Oh my gosh, my job was too Wait.

That's not funny, but like also like, uh, yeah it is.

It is a little bit because like I should not like I a eating disorder, right, but I shouldn't.

Have been currently and when you were working there like I did when he was working there, such like now.

I mean I wasn't active active in it, but I definitely had a problem.

But you don't you think that's part of what drew you to go work.

There, Probably because I thought I'm gonna have access to all this diet knowledge. Yeah, absolutely, but like I was not, like I I wasn't qualified to talk to them about certain things, by what standards.

To talk to them about anything?

Well, correct, But I did have the I part of my duties.

Yeah, I was allowed to weigh.

And measure them, yeah, and then ask them what they ate. They were supposed to come in a wig like every thro three times a week or something, so you would ask them, Okay, what'd you eat the last two days? Because we would have a journal and jury of what they ate the last time they came in and they would feel like if they went up on the scale and they would be like, I don't know why I went up. And then I'd think, okay, well let's talk about what you ate, and then I wouldn't you'd like

All parts, what do you mean, like the bones are bones?

Wouldn't be but like like I don't.

Test the liver and the like the what is it called, like the giblets or something?

Is that that's chicken giblets.

Or giblets giblets, Yeah, something like that. So I guess I'm just clarifying that sometimes it was really guy would be writing it down and'd be like, well, I know why, maybe didn't. But I wasn't qualified to council on that I just wrote it down and then I moved on to the next person. But yeah, that was in college, and it probably only worked there a few months and

Yeah, and you're like, I could.

Have and it's like that that wasn't necessary. He should have been like, you're paying for your own gas, you're paying for your own insurance. Like here, learn how to be an adult. And then no, wonder I have a fear of like opening bills, like because I didn't really have to open bills. But then also I knew, she said, so much of what I struggle with is like such

That's like a lesson though of like sometimes this is not what you're putting down. Let me know, sometimes we think we're doing something that's really good for our kids.

And then you learned it humble like the humble pie.

Like you said, we learned like m it would have been better for me to have her get a job.

Well, that's why passive parenting is so dangerous in my opinion. It is certainly easier.

Yeah, but it is what so say passive parenting if somebody doesn't know what that is.

What do you mean by that, I'm not a parent.

Just it's easier to just let things slide slide? You don't. You don't take the initiative to course correct or to have consequences, to have boundaries, Like people thrive on boundaries. They're really helpful. At times, I had no curfew at my dad's house. I could have parties, we could drink.

Shut up, yeah you didn't. I don't think I knew this.

Oh your dad was like, come over to our house and drink, it's okay.

Uh.

Well, he would mostly be out of town, be he's like. I was like, well, I'm gonna have people over. And he knew that we drank. He just didn't want to deal with it. It was pat like, I'm sure.

He left me that you drank. What would happen.

Oh, no, I was in trouble.

So did they not talk to each other?

Of Like?

No, I would have parties at my dad's house. And I didn't live with my dad. I lived with my mom, so sometimes I would have to leave because I had curfew at my mom's house. People would stay at my dad's house.

Were you like a party girl in high school?

No? I wouldn't say major major party girl. But I think that you were cool, though I don't know. I didn't feel cool probably yeah, So I don't know what defines that. I felt very like I wanted to be.

Yeah.

So, but yeah, those are my friends. They were cool. And my best friend Andrea, she's actually coming to town next weekend, so I'm excited to see her. But there's a few of us. We all met when we were thirteen and we still are friends.

Is she going to bet Alex?

She is? Yeah, ble So Scott's great a Luke when and we went to the Bahamas? Or No, not the Bahamas? Where'd we go? Cayman Islands last summer. I'm in the airport in the Cayman's and I look up and I see Luke, which he's the other he was at all these parties too, and I was like, Luke, I hadn't seen him in years, and it's crazy to like see your friends from that long ago. I got a random airport in another country. Yeah, so that is just fun.

Yeah, okay, well fun story.

You were time, not bad you and your nickname was little Jesus.

Literally, but I I'm the one that got uninvited to parties because there was drinking, So like, you are the one hosting them?

Would you?

But but I hear in that is you would have let me come to your party even if I didn't drink.

Yeah, I I mean I probably didn't drink that night either, because I had to drive all the way back home to my mom's house. Yeah, and my mom and my dad didn't live near each other. Yeah, so it was Oh but I remember why one friend one night, she got busted for having the party. My mom caught me because one of my friends told her mom Hamsmin and then I with Amy, and she just assumed it was my mom's house, so she called my mom's landline to

She walked showed up at the party. Yeah, are you drinking?

Probably because I was staying there. Who knows, I don't know. And that was one time Jenna Bush. I went to high school with them. And this has nothing to do with like drinking. Did have a party? No, it's not to do with drinking, although she got busted underage drinking

No, age, you can kind of bounce back different if you did that.

Now, I don't think that.

Yeah, no, I think you so like, yeah we were we don't this No, if your kid's listening, No, we were stupid.

But sometimes you just need a couple.

Yeah, so there you are random, Yeah, jopped down memory lane. I had no idea we would do that, but there we are. Okay, anything else. This is a very diverse episode to talk about a lot of things, and we hope wherever you are, you are having the day you need to have. Bye Bye