Good.
All right, break it down.
If you ever have feelings that you just won'ts ay and Cat gotcha covin locking a brother, Ladies and folks, do you just follow ann the spirit where it's all the front and real stuff to the chill stuff and the am But Swayne, sometimes the best thing you can do it just stop you feel things. This is feeling things with Amy and Cat.
Happy Tuesday. Welcome to feeling things. I'm Amy and I'm Kat, And my feeling of the day is anticipation. I am full of anticipation because, let me tell you, in about two weeks or so, apparently I'm going to be a whole new person, whole new in what ways. Well, Marty, I'm already halfway there. Yeah, to this new person that I'm gonna feel like because I've started my hormone replacement therapy, which a lot of it I'm trying to do through food.
But we got my blood work back and my doctor was like, look, I can intervene with some other things that are just gonna help kickstart you and sort of put you to the front of the line and then you can maintain with food. But she's like, it's gonna take a minute, and we can be patient and you can do that, or I can put a yam based rice size pellet into your upper butt hip area and it'll slowly release plant based testosterone into your body.
But it's just like putting a little piece of a vegetable inside of.
Your I guess, so, I mean in layman's terms.
Yeah, it's a very saturated piece of vegetable.
It's slowly releasing. Well, I mean, I don't know that it's it's not a piece of vegetable. I do know that it is a yam based pellet. Do your own research. Do not listen to me on this. But I have done testosterone cream in the past, and I do think that it helped me. But I told her I didn't mind the cream, but she was like, look, they've come a long way with the pellets, the type of pellet that I use, and how I sort of engineer the pellet to work specifically for you and slow release, like
you're not going to get too much. She's had a bad experience with pellets, certain types of pellets in the past, but this particular pellet she's all about. And she's a guynecologist that also has a pharmaceutical background, So I like too that she knows a lot about anything she's prescribing for me. And I have the pellet in.
My butt right now, can you feel it like?
No? Well, I don't know because I say no just moving around and sitting.
No.
But I still have the bandage on it, and I get to remove the bandage tonight. So right now, if I rub my hand over it, I feel the big, thick, padded bandage.
Well, I mean, can you feel like it's haynes like sore or something like when you're sitting down on your butt? Does it kind of hurt?
No? No, it's not tender to the test. She did have to numb the area before inserting.
That's shocking to me because I did see the bandage in a This is not to scare anybody, but it looks like it would be painful, like.
There's some blood, just a little bit. And then she's just like, I want you to keep this vandage on for four days and no plates because she didn't want me doing squats while the pellet's still finding it's home. I guess because if I crossplat it could like move the pellet go somewhere else if they need the pellet to settle in right where we put it. So all I've been able to do is just walk, no squatting. And I was like, hey, don't have to tell me. Darn, I guess I can't good love your plot. I do
love my plates, but I welcome to the break. The break. Sometimes I feel like I have pilates pressure because I bought a package, and so I feel like I want to It's not I don't have pressure to work out for my well being.
I'm like, I got to get my money for you. Like, if I go four times a week, that means each class is this much money. Yes, done them.
Before, done the math, and it feels good. So I've got the pellet in my bottom that will hopefully get me up to a seventy. I need to be like, there's different ways to measure testosterone the way she's measuring mine. I have ten, and she would like to see most women, depending on who they are and their body type structure. I don't know heightweight, whatever, anywhere from seventy to two hundred, and I'm at ten.
Oh, so you could be at two hundred and no.
She doesn't want me to be at two hundred. I might grow a beard. I don't think she wants me at two hundred.
No, no, no, no, no. You might not know the answer to this, but age wise, is seventy based anything to do with your age or is it?
I think it's just normal female like to feel. When I say normal, it's what helps you feel your most normal. Because when you're low on testosterone, you are more fatigued. No low libido, brain fog.
So do you have low testosterone when you're pregnant?
I don't know, because I feel this. I think you are. You're growing a human in your body, so brain fog and fatigue would make sense. But I actually have never been pregnant, so I don't know what hormones are fluctuating. And let's be honest, even if I had been pregnant and probably wouldn't remember, Yeah, that's fair, I'd be like, it's one of those testosterone estrogen for gesturine. So I am just over the moon excited about what is in store for me once my testosterone gets up to at
least seventy. I mean, shoot, I might start feeling better if I hit fifty. Yeah, because I'm at ten. And then I will say when I did the cream and this was the different doctor. And the reason why I know people measure it differently is because I remember her telling me I was like at a three or something, and I don't know if it was the same measurement.
But then I was talking to my friend Gracie the other day and she was like, yeah, I'm at like a point like I had a decimol And I'm like, well, there's no way the measurement's the same because she would not have a point like. She wouldn't even be at a one. She's at like a point four out of seven. That can't be right.
We need a universal test, yeah, measurement.
Yeah, So that's where my tea is, my testosterone, my iron is really low, and my vitamin D might as well.
Not exist, which that I feel like is pretty common.
Very common. Apparently every woman is low in vitamin D, so get on that. And the thing is if I want my body to produce testosterone and naturally through food, so with iron, for example, I'm low on iron, so I need to be eating more beef and spinach. However, I believe with vitamin D the same with the iron and the testosterone. If you're lacking vitamin D, your body's not going to do all the things it needs to do to produce the iron and the testosterone.
So yeah, they all play a part.
So they all play a part. So my pellet is just jump starting me and then hopefully I can get my body. I keep it in my mind. I'm just going to invite you into my mind like right now, like just ready on the edge. I'm just ready. Maybe because she described it as like a car and there's four key things she's looking for, and three of the four of my tires are basically flat, So what we're metife. So I've got one working tire and then my vitamin D, my iron which is also attached to my thyroid and
my testosterone or flat tires. So I'm get hitting the road every day, hitting life, going out into the world with one working tire.
Think about how functional you are.
That's why I'm full of anticipation.
Yeah, wouldn't that be you're feeling one hundred percent. I feel like I was about to be like a superhuman and I could like lift a car or something.
But also in two weeks, if you feel like I'm the same, just don't keep it to yourself.
I won't say a word but also I wonder if you're gonna have this feeling of like, oh, I've been doing it this way for so long that I didn't need to because you know a lot of times people are high achieving because they don't have any other option inside their brain, right, Like a lot of people with ADHD feel that way. Like I had a doctor one time tell me like, well, if you have ADHD, how did you get good grades in school? Almost like saying I was like making stuff up and it's because emotionally
and mentally I didn't have a choice. So you just like go the extra seventeen thousand miles and run yourself into the ground when you realize that it didn't have to be that hard. So I wonder if you're going to have that feeling of like I've been doing this and it didn't need to feel that hard.
Very excited.
Yeah, Okay, well I'm excited too, and I'm going to encourage you in your new life journey no matter what I see happening.
Okay, my HRT.
So two weeks from now, we're going to check it ish too. Okay.
I would like to say, I've got to get some iron impulsions. So once the iron gets in me because I've already started taking my vitamin D thing, which is one capsule. I take it one day a week, So every Thursday, I'm gonna be taking my fifty thousand units of vitamin D. And then I also need to be getting sunlight as well. Yeah, carefully, carefully, responsibly when the UV rays are low.
So are you gonna not wear a hat when you go out? Like? W how do you do?
Not really know my plan yet, but I think I can responsibly get a little bit of sun. It's not like I have to go out there and peak hours, peak tanning hour, say, just be outside. I can go morning afternoon and just be out there for a little bit. Yeah, okay, again this is not We're not a medical podcast. Talk to your doctor. People are seeing are like, yeah, don't worry, we wouldn't take medical advice from you. All good.
I never thought it was.
We are mental health minded though. So what's your feeling of the day.
I'm feeling confused for two reasons actually, and both have to do with the Internet, because I've just learned on another level things are not always what they seem. One I tried to put wallpaper up in my powder room this weekend because TikTok convinced me that it was really simple and easy and I could do it on my own, and I have. Honestly, I have no words. But the people that are making peel and stick wallpaper content, Are you guys lying or am I stupid? It's what I want to know.
I don't know because I've never done it. I personally would never put myself in that situation. That sounds like a nightmare.
I mean, the last time I had wallpaper, I hired somebody because I was like, yeah, I can't do this. But then I kept seeing people do it and showing tips and tricks and it looked so easy. And then I started doing it and I was like, this is not for me, and this will ruin my marriage if we continue. So so what are you going to do? I'm going to call the lady that my dining room, which we want a wallpaper the nursery too, so we'll
have her come do both. But in the meantime, my powder room looks a hot mess because it has like one and a half panels of wallpaper. We ripped a hole in the wall. The yeah, it's a whole thing. So that's one reason I'm confused. The other reason I'm confused is I got hit with dry brushing content you're familiar with. That's yeah, and I've previously just like swiped past that, but like, for some reason it was a little interesting to me.
Maybe now that you're with child.
Yeah, And I think because maybe because I can't do my vibration plate.
Oh can you not do that while you're pregnant? I don't know.
I think.
Shake it around.
I don't think that would be good for her.
Wait, speaking of yeah, you know Courtney Cook on Instagram Courtney Cook Sweet Potatoes Girl.
No, but she was making eggs the.
Other day and she was because you know, she always has marinated eggs or whatever, but did you know she has twenty five chickens. Like her eggs come from her chickens. So she had this big basketful of eggs and she said she learned on TikTok that you take a spoon to the egg and you sort of crack the membrane or something. So before you put them in the water to boil, to make hard boiled eggs, you tap it with a spoon, tap tap, tap tap, And as you're
tapping it, it's making one swined like one one swin. Sorry, when you're tapping it, it's making one sound like tap tap tap, and then it'll go deep like. And then when you hear the deep, you know you cracked the membrane.
Why are we cracking the membrane?
I don't know, but it made me think you're vibrating your baby, baby, And I'm.
Like, oh, we don't want to we don't want to crack the memborine. We don't want to do that.
No, no, no, no no. So you can't do you can't release your limps that way. So you're curious about releasing it through dry brush here.
Yeah, that's where I'm I guess this is coming from. So I was watching videos and I'm not familiar with this. Again, So if anybody's listening to this and you're like, this feels sounds simple and stupid, that's because I am new to this club. I bought a dry rush for my face and for my body, and this morning I was so excited to do it. It hurt.
I don't think you're supposed to press hard. You're supposed to press hard.
At how hard are you?
Well?
I don't know that it should hurt.
Well and I was like kind of scratching. I think on my arm. That's like a little bit like there were some like red scratches. Maybe need to go back and watch the videos because I the face one was really soft.
Did they have you open up the Big six? Yeah?
I did the like whatever, But the face one felt really good and the face one felt like almost like a makeup a stiff makeup rush, you know. But the other one, it I was like, I can't, I can't go through with this. I couldn't finish it hurt, but like, okay, I'm doing it too hard.
Maybe you will because it is lighter to the touch than people would think. Even when you're opening up the Big six, you've got when you're working your lymphatic system, you want to open up like the exits on the highway. It's sort of like if you had a highway with no exits and you start to do something like dry brushing or getting on your vibration plate, it has nowhere to exit, It has nowhere to go, so it just
that can cause issues. So if you open up like under your like by your collarbone, under your ears, under your your under arms, which we've got a whole segment coming up later.
I just said armfit. Sorry again.
I mean, we have some listeners that are just as passionate as me when it comes to under arm and putting on deodorant in public. So we've got some fun voicemails coming up in a minute. But you're under arms and then your ab area you're growing or what would you call it as growing, and then behind your knees.
I didn't do the app because I was afraid to. I am being so anxious about.
My I think, touch your son, I know, but I was like, I.
Don't want to, Like maybe it just because I was taking my swfl like do it.
I know that I feel like the way you're talking to me, like I'm scared.
I'm scared to brush my stomach. But now it's making sense that like I was doing it way too hard that it's but in my head, I'm like, how is this doing anything if I'm not like putting pressure on my skin.
Yeah, I think that that's the misconception. Even with the vibration plate, I've heard from multiple experts keep it on a low level and don't do only ten to twenty minutes. Well, when I first got it, before I was seeking out help from people to know what they're talking about. I'm like, well, I need level ten and I'm going to do this for thirty minutes. It's counterproductive.
Yeah.
So, and even when you're opening the big six, like they say over and over, like it's not a hard pressure, like you feel like you might need to press hard to open it up, but you don't, like you just really need to tep tep tap.
Okay, well maybe that's the I'm going to try again.
Pump soft pump. Just you gotta be gentle.
Do you do the dry brushing?
No, I've done it in the years past, but oh it's been a long long time, like probably a decade since I've tried it. And I definitely didn't know about opening up my limp system before, so I probably wasn't even doing it properly.
The face one I'm probably gonna keep doing because it feels good.
It's so this sort of stuff can be overwhelming.
Yeah, Like it's just like another thing in my schedule. So I'm going to do when it feels appropriate and when I have the time. But I'm not going to get too stuck on it, and I'm going to work on being more gentle. But Why don't they just give you a softer brush.
I don't know.
Okay, all right, well, speaking of I was confused, I'd like to follow up on some of your confusion. About four or five weeks ago, you said you were confused, and you you talk about it later. Yeah, my feeling of the day was confused, Yes, and I feel like it's now later.
Yeah, the cow out of the bagh at least I talked about it on the Bobby Bone Show. My boyfriend and I broke up. My boyfriend and I broke up. We were both were just not in a great place. It wasn't terrible. We were both having similar feelings of that maybe we needed a break or a breakup, and that's what I couldn't really figure out. And then we
decided to break up. And now that cat's out of the bag, because well we talked about it on the Bobby Bone Show and now I can talk about it in more detail here, which I have something in my hands right now that led to well my confusion, Like, I mean, Kat.
Are you confused? K I have to say, when I saw it, it was confusing.
Oh the price tag is on the bottom. Oh no, yeah, it wasn't don't worry. It's not Unclaire, Okay, Yeah, was like that must have been unclearance.
It still could have been on a clearance shelf. We don't know.
Yeah, I don't know. I think that this to me, which I'll tell y'all what it is. I'm holding a coffee mug that was bought at a little store conveniently located next to a coffee shop that we had gone to, which makes me think we just got coffee and then he ran into the shop to grab a Valentine's gift really quick?
Was it the day? Was it Valentine's Day?
Yes, yeah, that day? And then so I saw him and there was nothing, which I think is an indicator that like, it's just not a priority. And I think we were both feeling blab and he had been traveling that week.
I get it. Well, clarify this. You saw him earlier and he didn't have anything for you. No, it was be a hike.
And then after the hike we went to get coffee. And then after coffee, I got in my car and left, and I guess he pretended to get in his car, and then he got out and must have gone in and bought the coffee.
Mug that I had to be clear.
I like coffee mugs. Yeah, okay, so, like I was thinking about it, I have some coffee mugs that I've had for years from friends. My friend Gracie got me this cute little a I love it. It's from Anthropology. I use it all the time.
You've gotten so cute. You got me four coffee mugs, yes, and they're my favorite.
Coffee mugs can be a great gift. Claire got me one with a piece of toast on it that talks about toast. You know how I went through my big toast. I still love toast, but I had a season where I was eating toast multiple times a day, all different types of toast salty sweet, Yeah, savory, salty and sweet at the same time. Like I was obsessed with toast. So she got me this toast smug that was really funny and cute. And then Claire also got me another mug that says cat person. It has got these little
cat heads on it. And then Ali fallon Once got me a mug and maybe Gracie was in on it with her too, but it's like these two little raccoons on a bike and they're it says born to Dilly DELI.
Like, that's so cute.
Yeah, anyway, I'm not anti coffee mug. Okay, this particular mug which I think he was maybe doing his best that he could in that moment for where we were in our relationship. This is Valentine's Day, not my birthday. The mug is pink. And then like, what do you call this font?
Cheogy font chewgee?
Well to find chew gee because.
This is a fund It reminds me of like early two thousands, Like you know how it used to be really popular to have art that had words on it, like written stuff like quotes and stuff something you would find. Well, I don't want to say, oh yeah nobody.
Someone might love this mug that and that is okay.
But it's obviously not your story.
My thing is my boyfriend whom I love and he loves me went into a store and thought she's gonna love this.
Like like, well did I think that? I don't know.
I don't know that he was in the place honestly to really try to get something that Even our conversation before we went to the coffee shop, our walk was not a great walk. Yeah, because now I have all these feelings because a handwritten note would have meant something to me, and we didn't have that exchange. So then I'm perplexed. But I get it if you're in sort
of this weird phase in your relationship. And I remember when I was filling out the his Valentine's Day card, I'm like, I don't really know what to say because in that moment, I wasn't feeling all the warm, fuzzy feelings that I normally would feel, so I sort of kept it pretty generic. So I get it, That's what I'm saying, Like, I get I totally understand how this smug happened.
Yes, yeah, I get it.
And this smug also led to me being like, we're done. It was a sort at this moment, we need a break or we're done. I think this is a breakup because I can tell he's done. It was almost like subconsciously his brain was like, this mug will show her you don't care, and I feel horrible. I haven't even gotten to really talk to him about the mug, and I hope that one day we can talk about the mug, but I don't know if there's a reason to if
we have a reason to talk about the mug. I'll bring up the mug because I couldn't have felt less known or seen when I was given the mug, because I'll now, i'll read to you what the mug says. This is Valentine's Day. Okay, you can't improve with age if you're already perfect. And it's again pink. It's got these blue swirly letters, and so I was like, it's Valentine's Day, I'm not turning sixty.
Like it doesn't make any sense.
No, And there was also some cute, pink, warm fuzzy socks. I have no issues with the socks. Love the socks. Give me a pair of fuzzy socks all day long. But it was almost like maybe they were a set. Was the socks come with the mug? I don't know.
I wonder like what kept him from just like going and picking up a bouquet of flowers from like a grocery store, like a lot of men do, Like would that have been as.
I don't know. I guess I have said over time that I'm not like the biggest flower person, but I'm trying. I'm trying to be or maybe a plant words, yeah, but I get that at that moment. I do have compassionate understanding for the fact that maybe words would be hard at that time, Like if you're at a rocky place in your relationship, it's hard to sit down and
profess your love for someone that you're not vibing with. Yeah, and I give grace for that part, because yeah, if I had like walked back to my car and there was maybe a single stem flower, like even in my windshield with a little note it was like a heart like have to being great something like that, you know, And and on our walk I had shared I don't want to get too much in the weeds of like
our very personal stuff. But like we've talked about this on this podcast multiple times, my primal question is am I wanted? And this mug did not fall into the category of me feeling wanted. I felt like it felt convenient, like I'm going to run into this little store right by the coffee shop and grab the smug. And now I feel a little bit catty talking about it here
with you. It's part of those moments where I'm having like regret, like if he were to hear this, but I would these are things I would want to say to him, and he didn't do anything wrong. I get why he bought this mug.
Well, it's also out of character for him.
Yes, I get the season or whatever you want to call it. The timing of our relationship. This mug makes sense, and he was doing the best that he could in that moment, and I think that's what it showed me. It showed me, Okay, this is where our relationship is right now.
It almost This is going to sound a little weird, but I kind of hear this is that you getting that gift, even though that's not something you would have ever wanted and you did not feel wanted by, it was a gift because it helped give you clarity.
Yes, like you said it, Yeah, a couple of weeks ago, you had that quote, what.
Was it someone once gave me a box full of darkness? That sounds I found out this too was a gift, which that wasn't a box full of darkness, but it was like you were like, oh, probably like oh dang it, what like this doesn't feel good? And then also having that experience is like, oh, this is clarity, Like this is he wasn't using his words, but because maybe he didn't want to acknowledge them.
Yeah, that he wanted a break too. Yeah, it's like last year for Valentine's Dates. Speaking of flowers, I did get this massive bouquet. I mean it was the largest bouquet of flowers that I maybe have ever received. And I got that gold heart necklace that I had I think originally sent him. Maybe he was asking for Christmas gift ideas and something or maybe my birthday. I don't know, but he he had it and he's ordered it and
surprised me with it. So I got the necklace. So yes, when you say this smug is out of character, and I would hope that that's what he would see too, And I share this as not to be this caddie at all. This smug was information, yes, and I shared this because oftentimes we are given information and it can be very helpful.
And in different ways. Information is not always words like that was. Yeah.
Yeah, I have yet to meet a friend in my life that isn't perplexed by of the mug. So again, it's not about that it's a coffee mug or that it's not the price. Words are free, and I can't acknowledge that for both of us during that time words would have been incredibly difficult. And I don't know what will happen from here, but that is where we are.
How do you feel like you've been since you guys broke up, Like, how would you characterize the journey?
It's been hard? Yeah, yeah, it's been hard. Something was just I don't know if it's gonna work. That's the best way I can put it, Like just the vibes weren't vibing as well as they were. And what's crazy is it was so easy for so long, and then we just kept hitting some little roadblocks, Which doesn't mean I think if if we were married, obviously we would really buckle up and commit and go to therapy and
figure it out. But we also have such busy lives, respectively, like between his kids and mine, and I don't know. I think we'll have to just well, we made the decision. I don't know. I keep talking about it as if well, if it is a break, then we'd have to make the decision to lean into that so we can get
some guidance and clarity on how to move forward. Because I'm not someone even though I am divorced, that divorce did not come lightly and I don't take relationships lightly, and I wouldn't end a relationship lightly, but it was easier to just Okay, let's go our separate ways here for now, because yeah, we weren't married, which is crazy because a few months before that we were talking marriage.
Well, we talked about you getting engaged on the podcast. I know I was sending your engage trip because I guess.
I mean, it is crazy how it can take a turn. And I'm also like, whoa, maybe we needed to just pump the brakes for a minute. And I've got some stuff I can focus on. My life as a way more controlled than it's ever been in terms of different people having different things going on that you know, can be really disruptive. I do have some stuff going on that I'm trying to tend to and maybe it's giving
me space to do that, which I need. And he's well aware of that situation and even gave me his thoughts on it the other day when I saw him. I've seen him a couple of times, even with the breakup, and that's been very normal and cool.
And also hard because and hard yeah, because I leave and I'm like, oh, okay, he's a good person, Yes, Yeah, he's amazing, which I think that's helpful for people to hear, because often you hear of these breakups that are toxic or it was very black and white and this one person hates the other person, and that's how it is. You don't hear as much people talking about the like, oh, we really loved each other and we had to make this hard decision and because there was this piece that wasn't fitting.
I know, it was like when it happened, we were we just hugged and then cried for a while. You were like, Okay, I guess this is really happening.
Yeah. And that's also so I think that there this is reminding me of I had a really bad breakup once and then the next guy I dated broke up with me in the kindest you know, I've never done the breaking up, I've told you that, but he broke up with me in the kindest, caring Like I remember, he came over and we sat in our bed and he just the things he said. I just will never forget. Where I was like, oh, somebody can break up with
me and still really think highly of me. And that's very helpful because I think a lot of times when people and relationships. One person person is asking, well, what's wrong with me? Or what do I not have or what did I do wrong? And so for you to have an experience where nobody did anything wrong.
Right, No, some of the stuff we were struggling through was git real concern type stuff I think, or frustrations I guess I don't know how to put it because I'm not gonna yeah. It's almost like yeah, for this little puzzle. Suddenly it's like, wait a second, what I thought this piece went here and it's not fitting and we're trying to force it, and should we try to force it because we don't have the bandwidth for that. We both have a lot going on.
And you shouldn't have to do that, Like I do think there will be a relationship where the pieces do just fit and they keep fitting for you.
Yeah, And I wouldn't say that it's our puzzles like out the window, I don't really know for sure.
And it's just in the box right now.
Yeah, it's in the box, but we'll see you know. That's That's what I've learned from this is I don't need to rush it. While we were on this trajectory, it's like it's okay that it's at a pause right now, at least for me to figure out or tend to some of the things in my life that need my attention, and I can focus on that and also myself and then still be present for things in his life as they come up or him mine, like with our kids, because we're still in communication with them, not a lot.
It's not excessive or inappropriate, just more like, hey, yeah, I'll come to that game or stuff like that.
You're handling this very well. I do. I've already said that to you, but I just feel like this is hard and like you said, and you're doing it.
Thank you.
You're approaching this in a very healthy way.
I'm trying. I have therapy on Thursday. I cannot wait.
Every day.
I'm like waiting for therapy. Which I know earlier I said the cats out of the bag because I talked about it on the Bobby Bone Show, which it's not going to be more long form there when I bring it up. But I got curious on where that statement cat the cats out of the bag? Do you know where that comes from? The cat's out of the back. Do you know where that comes from?
My cat?
I mean yeah, there's a cat involved, But the origin of it is from medieval marketplaces, I guess farmers and traders. They would be selling these young pigs in a burlap sack or a bag, and there was some dishonest traders that would try to cheat shoppers by putting a cat in there instead of a pig, and they would just take the sack and they wouldn't open the sack till they got home. When they opened up the sack, a
cat would come out instead of a little piglet. Oh, and they'd be like, let the cat out of the bag.
And then what do you do with the cat?
Well, I don't know if you can go back to the market and be like, you tricked.
Me, this is fraud, this is not a piglet.
And they'll probably be like, I don't know what you're talking about. You bought that bag fair and square.
I wonder why they wouldn't look in the bag.
Welly, I think they didn't had no reason maybe to not trust.
They're just like, why are the animals in a bag, I don't know.
A burlap sack like a pig. I know, you think maybe you'd look in and just check out what the piglet looked like, I don't evenway. I just keep saying piglet, But I'm imagining it had to be small, a young pig. That's probably why I'm saying pilet, pilet, it's a young pig.
Yeah, okay, well thanks for teaching us that.
Yeah, full of those things, you know, little stories, little tidbits, basically have them coming out of me. Yeah, we're speaking of the word basically. You know, I say that word a lot. Probably I misuse it. I say basically literally.
I don't think you miss used basically. Well, if you do, then I miss using it too.
Okay, let me be fair. I overuse it, Okay, okay, I use it when there's no need to use it.
Weasically do that with certain words.
Literally, just the word just I was just calling to say what I called to say. Oh, or really? You know the guy we like, Jefferson Fisher. He's a lawyer, speaker, author. I ordered his book, by the way, it's called The Next Conversation. I haven't read it yet because I'm still reading THEO of Golden.
I need to get that book.
Okay, it's really good. I'm on chapter twenty four.
How far are you?
I feel like I'm about halfway.
It's a lot of chapters.
Yeah, well, sometimes to be fair, they're short, like no, some are long, but then randomly, you know, chapter twenty will be a page.
Okay, not even I can do that.
I mean, how do they divide it up?
Like?
I mean, it's like it's the end of like a thought.
I know, but I feel like, well, they're like, how.
Do you divide chapters?
I know that, but some of them feel like they could flow together, and I'm like, and then there's just this one little page for this chapter.
Maybe they're book quota. They are like, you have to have five hundred pages and fifty seven chapters, and so you have to like maybe.
So if you want to sound more assertive, I saw this from him, and it's to stop using adverbs in your everyday vernacular, like words in an l y. And I'm like, well that would go. Now. My conversations are ruined because I use those words so much. But you're not going to sound assertive. If someone asked me a question, you say, oh, well, basically da da da instead of just saying d D.
That makes sense. I was gonna say, this is really hard, but in normal conversation with me and you, it's fine. But if I'm trying to sound assured of myself and assertive, then I want am strong in my convictions. I don't want to water it down.
Like he said, adverbs water down your speech.
So but that's also I think why sometimes I use them because I don't want it to sound too harsh.
You know.
Yeah, that's why even the world just like think about in emails like oh, hey, just reaching out ye, and it's like, well, you could just say hi, reaching out in regards to blah blah blah, Hey just checking in to see if you know, basically you were interested. Basically I was wondering you really wanted to do it, but I don't know if you're literally big video, it's literally not.
So shout out Jefferson Fisher because he had some good nuggets on Instagram that he was sharing from a podcast or something, and they kept popping up in my feed and that's what led to me ordering his book.
I feel like I would I want to read that book too. That's when you have to like, I can't audible that one. I have to read read it highlight highlight and like circle stuff and.
Have a resources yes, yeah, well all if well.
An audio at my own because I'm going to write in it.
Oh yeah, that's true. I was gonna say you can borrow mine, but now you're talking about and I want to keep it, marking it all up and using it as I'm sure that it would be a resource too for even some of your clients. My therapist has a lot of books in her office and you can like pull from it if you need.
I do that, and then I always I'm like, Catherine, you need to get a system, because sixty five percent of the time I never see those books again.
Mike D's wife, she let me borrow two books, and on the inside cover she got I guess she probably ordered on Amazon or somewhere. See how I'm unsure, so I don't know, and I say things like I guess she basically maybe went literally onto Amazons craziest.
I didn't register any of those words.
Okay, let me say this with assertiveness, assertiveness, but I'm guessing she went online and ordered these cute library card in certain thingies.
So assertive when you say thingiest in.
The book that I borrowed, as if she was checking it out to me, and I put my name, like it said, she says who she's checking it out to in the date, Okay, and then I'm going to give it back to her. But that makes me more inclined to give the books back to her because you's got a cute little library card in there.
Which I get. I love that. I should do that, but I need the card in my possession so I know who has the book.
Oh well, you can take a picture of it.
I'm not going to do that, okay. I just need a piece of paper that says this book and then the client's name. I think that would solve a lot.
And also, I believe Jefferson to clarify, he's talking about sounding assertive when you need to sound assertive. I don't want to sound assertive with my friends, so I will talk basically literally.
Literally literally whenever you want.
Yeah, basically, I do have habits that make you look unprofessional, though, so I could run through those, just so that y'all are in the know in case you do any of this.
I haven't looked at this, but I'm gonna, oh my gosh, what's the word assume, oh, brain fog. Yeah, I'm going to assume I have over half of these because I find it very hard for me to feel professional.
Okay, let me tell you what they are. Okay, and you just say check check Okay, talking too much? Check ooh you do at work?
Not at No, not not what I'm not what I'm being a therapist. I just mean, like, in general, I feel like I talk.
No habit's making you look unprofessional. So I would assume these are work related. Okay, Okay, okay, talking too much, responding late to messages.
Check, you're laughing because you do it too.
Same saying yes to everything. Uh no, good, You've got boundaries over sharing personal information. No, having a messy work space. Check what yours is not that messy?
Uh?
I wouldn't call it like organized them. Well, it's the stuff is shoved in drawers. Okay.
How about that complaining all the time, No always being late, no making excuses for everything.
No, okay, this made me feel really good about myself. We eliminated the.
Ning poor communication using words like bro, dude an lol, swearing I do.
That at work. It depends with the clan i'm with. If they are cursing, then I'm jumping in with so.
On The Madison, which is a show on Paramount. Plus, it's Tyler Sheridan's new show. He did Yellowstone and Lion Ass. Michelle Pfeiffer's in it. I've already completed the whole thing. I don't want to give too much away, but I will say there's a therapist in there and they drink during the sessions.
What.
Yeah, he's in it's in New York. Obvious, this is a TV show, so it's not real. But he went to Harvard, you know, has a.
Wait, how what do you mean he's drinking Like he's sending a glass of wine while he's sitting down with a client or whiskey. Knew it was gonna be whiskey. Is the client drinking?
Yes, He's like, here, we I normally don't do this, but it seems like you're someone where this is what we're going to need to do. And he busts out.
Yeah, I think you can like be turned in for that. I don't think that that's a ethical Okay, I thought there's no drinking. I will say people during COVID did try to drink during sessions because they were at home on zoom. Yeah, and if I saw that, I'd be like, we're not doing that.
I guess you probably weren't on Zoom. Were you on like a telehealth portal.
In the beginning. I think I used just FaceTime because it was like new to everybody, so I had to make make a waiver and have people sign that it was okay, and hippo laws were lenient during that time. Facetime's not hip. OUD never use that now, but they allowed us to do that because we had no other option.
So being too noisy, no, no poor hygiene, I hope not. Well, speaking of hygiene, we do have some fun messages from people. Well, I've got an email and then a couple of voicemails in regards to my deodorant situation where I cringe when people online put deodorant on, like and they're get ready with me videos or whatever.
Which I was shocked with the response we got because.
Even more than this, we're just sharing with y' all these few.
Yeah, I didn't know this was such a thing for people.
So this is from Jackie.
Hey there.
I never have emailed a podcast before, but you guys are so cute and so funny and so real. Love you.
Anyway, Amy.
I also cringe whenever someone is putting on deodorant in their posts. I'm like, do I need to see you putting on your deodorant? Can't something's just be a given? Do we need to see it? Ha ha, so funny you even brought it up. I thought I was the only one signed Jackie in Pittsburgh. Haha Pittsburgh, because during that episode, how we even started talking about the deondorant thing was I don't like the word arm pit. I prefer under arm.
I can't let you just said it.
Yeah, I'm cool, I'm cool, I'm asual, I can do it. So that's why she's also like, haha, Pittsburgh.
Which that is hilarious. Yeah.
And then we have a voicemail. This is from Sam who listens in Boston.
I'm laughing out loud. I'm listening to the latest episode when Amy is talking about how she's grossed out with people on camera or just in general putting on dedorant in their arms under arms, and I swear every time I listen to your podcast, I I think I can't believe they also think this way. I feel like I was the only one. Amy, You're not alone. I also get very gross out or just like shocked when I see you know, a vlogger or whomever put on deodorant
on camera. Even like when I change after the gym. At the gym, I always put deodorant on, like in the bathroom, not in front of people, because I feel it's such a vulnerable task. So yeah, I just wanted to share that you guys are not alone or Amy, You're not alone on that. Thanks so much, love the podcast. Sam calling from Boston.
Okay, Sam, thank you for that. Yes, it's not just in video, it's in person too, Like she's saying, even at the gym, she'll go into the bathroom stall to put her deodorant on. Because for me, let me explain it to you this way, this is what it feels like. I don't pee in front of people.
Well, you're if you were pe in front of people, you would be showing your private parts.
Well you know.
Serious ways you could maneuver to where you wouldn't really see the private parts, and you could have the camera, like.
You like, getting rid of bodily fluids feels very different than you putting on a little little sprits or a spray on your underarms. Nope, I don't. I'd like that. She used the word vulnerable, like it feels like a vulnerable task. I just don't have that experience. But now I'm wondering, like, I mean, I don't think that I regularly do this. I don't know that I ever put theodore on in front of people. But now I'm wondering, like, have I in the past, And did I make people comfortable?
Well?
In front of you?
I don't think so.
And you were like, oh, gross, Cat, I get out of here.
No, I don't think so. And we're close enough to where I don't know that it would bother me if it's you. But if I'm you know, at the gym or in a public place, I'm gonna yeah, go around the corner and do it well. Speaking of putting on your are in public, our next voicemail is from Gin. She's calling from Houston, and that's what she's talking about as a teacher.
Hi, Amy and Kat, this is Jin from Houston, and I am calling in regards to that Axila. Where neither arm pit or under arms bother me. I've used some booths. What does bother me is people putting on deodorant in front of you. I am a high school teacher and there are some times when students in class will lift up their shirt and apply theodorant in the classroom with
everyone visible. They're visible, so everyone could see myself included, and it just seems like you are interrupting an intimate moment. There's just something about it. So I'm totally with you on that. I don't understand how people do that in public. It does give me the creeps a little bit, So I'm just sharing that. I feel the same way. Love your energy, have the day you need to have. Bye.
Yeah, two thoughts here. One she moves from the word vulnerable to the word intimate. So now this is an intimact.
I know, Sam thought it was vulnerable and Jen is calling it intimate zee, which maybe that's what it is. Is we have it in a different category. Yeah, we don't have it as folks face lotion and whatnot, but I.
Have it as face lotion. Yeah. I wouldn't be putting face lotion on in the middle of class at school, and I wouldn't. It is interesting that these kids are just putting deodant on in the middle of class, like, well, why would they need to in the middle of class?
Well, I feel like they're just that's when they're thinking of it, and it may not be exactly always in the middle of class, but maybe at the start or the end when they're going to their next class.
My son is.
Fifteen, and while it's tricky because you want your teenagers to have good hygiene, yet I think he's over applying. He puts on so much all the time, and he's like, Mom, it's for the ladies. And he is addicted to this old spice.
I was going to ask, was it like old spice or axe or something old spice?
This one particular scent. I can't remember movies like Fiji or something, and it is so strong.
Wait, I've bought that like flavor shampoo for Patrick.
Before old spice shampoo or is it? Is it three and one where it's body wash, shamboo, a conditioner all in one.
It's definitely a three. He loves three and one.
Gotta love a good three.
And I think I got him really nice shampoo and conditioner one year for Christmas and he didn't use it, and he told me that he just wanted his head and shoulders two and mine. And I was like, I spent like forty dollars on this, and you want your five ninety nine bottle.
Yep, so I get it Jen from paston. I can see how that would bother me because there's probably a lot of kids that are doing it. Yeah, my son's putting it on all the time.
If I was a teacher in like math class, I'd be like, kids, now, it's not the time for your deodorant. Like I wouldn't be grossed out by it, but I would be like.
Why only she's grossed out. She feels like she's watching them do something like a more intimate moment. I wanted you to go. You need to go to the bathroom and put that on.
Yeah.
Yeah, Like it's not disruptive to her, Like, I don't picture the kid being like halfway through class wellerant. I think it's probably during, you know, like when class is rapping or beginning.
Yeah, like and she's like, oh, I shouldn't be And she's like, oh, I feel like I need.
To turn away. Oh wow, But I'm not alone.
This helps.
Thank y'all for sharing all of your thoughts, all of you who sent things in, because we had a lot of feedback. Sometimes I feel like we can talk about something that's really impactful and meaningful, and you know, really that was not change, and you know you expect to maybe get some feedback from that. Cricket's nothing. You talk about flying deodorant on Instagram.
People like I have something to say.
People are like, I thought I was alone, And it's not really anything I've ever shared before until it just naturally came up. I've never talked about Why would I, I know, but it's interesting when you say something that you've always had these thoughts about and you're like, I must be the only one, and then you learn you're not. Yeah, feels good, good alone.
I'm glad you're feeling that way.
Yeah. Well, thanks for the email and the voicemails. We normally shared those in couch Talks, but since we had talked about the Underarms and the Feeling Things episode last week, we thought we would share them here. But you can email us or call us. The email is hey, They're at Feeling Things podcast dot com. Yes, and the phone number is eight seven seven two O seven two O seven seven. And we hope whatever you're doing wherever you are right now, you are having the day you.
Need to have. Just wondering where you're going with that.
Sometimes I want to say, have the day you need to have. But I can't always set it up that way. I end up having to say having the day you need to have.
I want to say, you could just say, wherever you are, we hope that you okay.
Wherever you are, we hope you have the day you need to have. Bye.