AMY: How Angry Are You? (Mild, Medium, or Hot) + Things That Defeat ADHD Brains & More

Good. All right, break it down.

If you ever have feelings that you just won'ts ay and Cat got your cob and locking a brother Lady's and felts do you just follow in the spirit where it's all the front over real stuff to the chill stuff and the.

M but Swayne, sometimes the best thing you can do it just.

Stop you feel things. This is feeling things with Amy and Cat.

Happy Tuesday. Welcome to feeling things. I'm Amy, I'm Cat and out of the gate. We got the feeling of the day. Yeah, and I'm smiling as I say this feels weird. The feeling of the day, which I've sort of gotten over, is anger, because you're I woke up angry.

Yeah, okay, what kind of anger?

I don't know what? Like are there different types of anger? I mean, I guess I know that there's different feelings involved in that, but like anger is the one I'm touching on. Like it's like a spectrum, Like, yeah, what level of anger? Okay, let's do it like salsa? Like am I mild salsa? Or am I medium?

I'm hot? Okay?

It's like what would mild be.

Like frustrated, annoyed?

Okay, Yeah, I'm not so, I'm for sure mild.

Okay, what's medium? Mad, upset, pissed off?

Oh I don't like the feet word. You don't like that now, so that's fine, we'll roll with it. I'm definitely medium Okay, so so far Okay, now hot hot salsa.

That would be like enraged or I mean, there could be a little actual rage in there.

I don't feel like I'm raging furious. I'm furious. I'm like so frustrated and makes me furious. I'm perplexed. You know, we're just like feeling I'm confused and that leads to anger, Like I'm just frustrated?

Am I?

All of these salas A my mild medium hot, which would mean I'm hot?

Yeah, well you you're you have a you have a mild feeling, but to the hot level.

Does that make sense?

Yeah?

So it's like like.

On the spectrum of frustrated euro up here. Yeah.

I just woke up with this. I couldn't shake it. So I busted out a coping tool, which would be journaling, and I journaled for twelve minutes.

Did you time it?

Yeah?

Because I started journaling it and then twelve minutes later I was done.

I don't know if you said a timer for twelve.

I didn't actually set a timer, but like the clock, I knew what time was when I started, and I was like, oh wow, I just wrote for twelve straight minutes.

Were you like scribbling?

I tried to write as fast as possible because that's just very That's what's therapeutic for me, especially if I'm dumping things out and I just like let it flow. Like whatever was coming to my brain, I wrote it. It'd be actually be interesting now that I've gone the day and I'm a little more calm if I read what I wrote this morning, because I know that I was dumping a lot within that twelve minutes. I know that there's things I wrote down I wouldn't recognize.

Now, Wow, you don't think.

I think that there's sentences where I'd be like, huh, I read that. Yeah, I think that was very helpful for me. It helped me like lay out my thoughts and continue on with my morning with ease, because I didn't like waking up with that feeling. And then I sent you a text after at some point in the morning. I know that I texted you and you replied with this, You can do this. They suck. That's how I read it. You can do it. Is that a movie quote?

Yes, isn't that from water Boy?

Yeah?

Okay, so that's how I read it.

You can do this.

You can do this. They suck. You're a beautiful sunflower and they're an ugly weed that thinks they're a flower, but really they just kill everything around them. And I was like, oh my gosh, that's true.

It was helpful.

It was helpful because it just helps me understand the boundary I need, which is the gift of anger. So which when we started this podcast, we started with all the coreat feelings, and we know that one of the gifts of anger is perspective. It's information, and it helps us know where we need to have some boundaries and what we need to do. And so I was like, not mistake.

And I think because anger is a justice emotion and it shows us like how to care for ourselves well and care for others well, it could be helpful to feel that because that means that you care about yourself. You're like this, I deserve to be treated better depending on the situation.

My inner alarm was going off, like saying hot, hot, seek get the gualk chips, some more chips. Like that's how I feel like randomly have a salsa analogy to gauge our anger. Yeah, which I love now that. Yes, listeners, next time they're either eating salsa, they're gonna think, am I angry about anything? Or next time they're angry, they're gonna start craving chips and salsa because we've like put this in their mind.

Salsa is my anger.

Yeah, and then you'll be like maybe the remedies you go eat that salsa. Be like, I'm hot right now, so I'm gonna make myself eat hot, which I never buy hot, by the way, I always buy mild or medium.

I like mild. I don't like spice.

I don't get people who really like spicy food. But then you can't really even taste it because your mouth is so hot.

Yeah, and then you keep eating just to get rid of the hot. It keeps adding to the hot.

Yes, I don't get that.

I know that's your wedding. Yeah, I know, but sometimes it's just really good.

It's like almost a little bit of like self harmy.

Do you know you may not know this about me, because I don't know if you ever listen to this on the Bobby Bone Show. But that one time I lost a bet and I had to take the hottest shot in the world, and I almost died. You told me this, Okay, I don't know if I ever.

Wasn't it like you to eat the pep?

You do know it was a It was an alcoholic shot, like I don't know if it was tequila or what the actual alcohol was, but it was labeled the hottest shot in the world, and we ordered it off the internet. Who knows if it was safe or not. And none of us were prepared for what was about to happen, like and none of us throw up. I did not

Like, what was the remedy for this time? You didn't like drink milk.

They had to go get milk. See, they didn't even have that, so we weren't prepared. I wasn't either. I just thought, Okay, I'm gonna take the shot and it's gonna be hot and then we're gonna move on. Well, I took the shot and then it hit me, and what hit me was I might need to go to the hospital. What I was feeling were things I have never felt in my body before. And then I had goosebumps. Then I was in the bathroom. Then my face was burning.

Get the day off the next day.

No, I think I'm a champ, and I went back to work. But anyway, I wasn't that level of angry. At least we know that I wasn't hottest shot in the world for a second.

This is my question to that, Why are they making that? Because that means nobody can drink that and enjoy it. Who's buying and other than people who are pranking people, which that should be illegal.

Well, it's not just a prank. It's also like I want to take the hottest shot in the world. Like I knew what I was doing. I wasn't mean, I wasn't meaning pranked, but I guess what the people that are idiots like us?

Okay, okay, that's who they're marketing to.

Feel like they have the hottest chip in the world they have.

Like why, I just don't get that, like I'm novelty. Yeah, but how much could be making off of that? How many people are buying that?

I don't know I've met.

They're out of business, you know who some of those only fans people or supermodel people. I don't know who they are, but they'll be like I put my breath into a bottle and they sell it for money, or they or they pass gas in a bottle and they sell it, and they sell it you know, like yeah, people are making money.

And the most like a little different than.

Well, I know. It just made me think of bottling things up and selling it and making money, like if we could, Like I feel like, like, are we missing out an opportunity here?

Do you want to pass gas and a bottle and start selling them in bulk? Is there a market for that?

No?

I don't want to think about that, Like that's why.

I mean, first, that's an easy one. I know. Yes, are we missing out on an opportunity one hundred percent? Because we could probably.

Or like air from wherever or my or my baths like Sidney Sweeney just soap out of her bath water.

Yeah, why why don't we Well, I don't know anybody's buying my bath water personally.

But feeling things merch coming soon, people.

Are so excited and then it's like soap from our like dirty bathwater, our dishes, oh dishes. It could have to be because I don't I can't take a bath, so I can't.

Sell my bath water.

I love a good bath.

I don't like sitting in dirty water, but.

I shower before you shower before you take a bath.

But then you're sitting where you're dirty feet were. I just don't like it. I've accepted that it's probably just not for me.

It's not your thing. Yeah, okay, Well back to the anger. We went over the gift and I I just want to remind people of the impairment if you don't feel it, Because if I had woken up feeling angry and I just sort of suppressed it and didn't journal through it and then text a friend about it and get affirmation that I'm a beautiful sunflower and the other for a sense of weed. If you don't feel it, when you suppress anger, it doesn't disappear. It's still there, and then

To think about the feeling that's energy. It's going to find a way to come out one way or the other. You might as well use it in a way that's helpful for you.

And it can get you feeling really down, and you don't want to feel down, and then unfelt anger go sideways real quick. It's sort of like that shot, you know, and then.

You're unfelt anger as much like a Carolina Reaper pepper shot.

Yes, and you'll end up burns your nostrils in a trash can and vomiting for face on fire. And that's just really like, it's an unhealthy situation. And that's what I'm like, you know what, and dealt with anger?

What that does?

It turns pain, which sometimes feeling anger can be painful into suffering suffering. There's a difference thing a man, you were suffering, it sounds like.

Yeah, and so like why suffer? Just go ahead and feel the anger, lean into it. And that's what I did, and I feel better now. It's so much so that I really need to go back and see what I journaled. Yeah, I want to interesting And what I realized too when I looked at the dates of my journal I hadn't journaled in a while, and I was like, whoa, I need to get back into this because it did for me. It felt good. And that's why it's always important to.

The date with the dates.

You know you're good at that, you're good at journaling, which a lot, but I haven't been.

But I like, what has life been good. Is it like, do I only want to journal when things are a little more confusing, because I I'd rather I also want a journal on the good days.

Yeah, I was just.

Don't forget if anybody finds my journals when I die, burn that.

That's only if you're writing down all your affirmations.

But what I wrote this morning, we need to burn it twelve minutes of.

Well, speaking of feelings, I was feeling I had a lot of anxiety, let's say, not anger, so fear, a lot of stuff happening. And I saw this TikTok of this girl who was making a necklace much like the one that is hanging around your neck.

That is a dude, Oh me.

My original katvan Buren.

Yeah, okay, yeah, can we get a zoom in on the necklace?

Beautiful?

Yeah? Okay, well just imagine. But I saw this TikTok TikTok of this girl. We can't we can't get a zoom in on this.

Oh, I mean it's like a zoom but.

I could I get closer to the camera. Well, I saw this video of a girl who had made this necklace. It's a doop of the anthro ones, which I think they have a lot of places, but on anthropology they sell them for a high sticker item.

Sticker price, sticker price sticker price.

Anyway, so I was feeling anxious, and one thing I have learned is that for me, being creative is the antithesis of anxiety. For me, I think for a lot of people, it gets set energy out. Whis why I've gone through the hobbies, including painting manicures. Actually, don't zoom it on this one.

I broke an nail. What else have I recently?

Pottery, air dry and ceramic puzzles, puzzles. I almost got into airbrush t shirts, but I didn't. So anyway, I went and I got all the supplies to make these and it I literally sat in my kitchen table from probably nine am to three.

It was obviously that you didn't have any clients, let's hope no clients.

I did have things that needed to get done, right, but I think my brain was so discombobulated that I just needed an outlet to be able to just create something. Anyway, So now I have these beautiful necklaces that I'm giving away to everybody.

You have lots, but I am requesting one of your little teeny tiny beaded ones like this one's great and I love it, but I really want a multicolored teeny tiny one please.

So you like that one, but you mildly like that one, and you spicy hot salsa like the other one.

Yeah, okay, Like everything we do now is like related to salsa, which honestly does sound really good. Now, Like I could really go for some like a trio.

Do you know what a trio? Three?

The trio?

Okay? So salsa guak duh? Yeah, okay, sick, you know, sick.

But I wanted to bring that up because I think a lot of people who are I mean the world right now in general, there's a lot of stuff going on, and I can joke and laugh about how I start new hop every other week, and at the same time that is a coping skill for me that I've learned really works, and then I get to give people things.

Okay, So creativity is the opposite of anxiety? Is creativity the opposite of anger?

Well, if your anger brings you anxiety, it could help with that. But you can do a lot of I mean, journaling could be the opposite of that's creative.

Yeah, I I mean, you're.

Trying to see if that could work for you.

Yeah, I don't know. I'm trying to think if I need like to dive into some sort of hobby. Journaling isn't Yeah, writing is creative, but me, just.

Like you, weren't doing creative writing writing.

Down every thought that's coming into my brain so that I have like free flow, like like my pen didn't really leave the pad, which I got that from. Speaking of creativity, The Artist's Way, Yeah, that book where just start writing pay doing your morning pages.

So if you were to what's that's a creative thing that you've enjoyed?

Yeah, I need to you. A couple years ago, were trying to paint.

Yeah, and I was a huge puzzler, huge I was bird watching. But maybe I need to get into necklaces. Like honestly, your little board that you have that measures out with like the like that you got that on Amazon. I went to hobby lobby and.

I like to see the stuff.

Yeah, no, that's good because yeah, you never know when you're ordering it. Yeah, okay, why helping people if they want to figure out, like if they want to do it as well.

I don't know.

If you've got a hobby, send it in. Let us know, create abby, Like, what's your creative hobby?

Not too expensive?

I think that's the other thing is I went to hobby lobby and spent like sixty dollars and got enough stuff to make fifty necklaces.

Yeah, like you have gifts for all your friends for the next year.

Like this was three dollars, but this would be.

A really special birthday present. Yeah, Like, I mean think about it if with I know we're six months from Christmas, but it's still a good Like what if this year you did that, You went to hobby lobby and over the next few months months you start making gifts for the people in your life, and then boom, You've got a homemade, really cute, special Christmas gift that looks like it came from anthropology.

So if I'm using girl math correctly, I'm saving so much money. Yes, because this is now the gift everybody will receive it.

If you gave me this for Christmas, I would.

Be like, Okay, this is I show. It just came a little early Christmas. I let you open it early Merry Christmas, Christmas? What is it they typically do Christmas in July?

Can I have a back? I'll wrap it up.

But I think this makes you think of my ADHD which certain things I've really been working on is trying to be more prepared and being on time, so we're on time, on time, like to.

A place or like because remember that one time I gave you a birthday present, I think six months after your birthday.

Yeah, it say cat language cards and stuff.

That's okay, I don't know. I mean like on time physically to play places, like work stuff on time check, no problem. But like if my boyfriend and I are going somewhere, like last week, we went to this writer's round thing at this place that's in Franklin, Tennessee, which is right outside of Nashville, so cute. It's called the Red Wheel, and.

That's out of town where you went on your vacation.

Yeah, where we went on vacation. So sometimes going on vacation might be you know, driving fifteen minutes up the road to a restaurant. But his dad was a part of this opening night, And if you're in Franklin or in Nashville, it's like a summer series thing that's happening, so it'd have to be this this summer twenty twenty five podcasts are weird. What if someone's listening to this in twenty twenty seven, I'd be like, too late, Yes,

I think that they know that they know. Yea, they know.

We don't get the restclaimer that this was in the past, right, it also had a different name. We've evolved, so it was last week he was picking me up, and I'm getting to where I'm noticing my brain is my little things that I'm doing to try to work towards being on time with ease are working because I'm just naturally

Or were you late to that event? No?

I was on time, That's my point. Like, and I noticed what I did to set myself up for success to be on time. Like when he showed up here and I was ready to go, he was like, you're ready?

What? And it was like.

Prepared to He's prepared to wait? Which ironically or coincidentally, whichever word fits you pick At the Writer's Round, one of the songwriters wrote that song Waiting on a Woman. Now I can't sing what it is, but he's like, wait not. I think Brad Paisley ended up singing it, but this is the songwriter, wait, waiting on a Woman? I can't You don't not familiar? Yes, I believe Brad did record.

Is that ironic or coincidence?

That's why I said both, And you pick.

Ironic it's ironic? Isn't it a coincidence? Ironic?

Is it's ray on your wedding day? Is that ironic though it's a free ride when you've already paid.

It's good advice that you.

Just didn't to take, and who would have thought it? Figures it's I never knew the traffic jim when you're already late.

That's not ironic.

Oh, okay, we have When Varble and Don Samson wrote this for Brad Paisley, and When and Dawn were both there, so both of the songwriters are there and they sang it and it was funny because my boyfriend are sitting there and this is whole song about waiting on a woman. But it takes you through a timeline where he's like waiting to meet a woman, and then when he meets her, he's waiting on her to always be ready. But then he passes away first and he's in heaven waiting on

Didn't have to wait on that's ironic. So then okay, that's ironic.

Okay, yeah, so it's like then singing a song about waiting on a woman on the night that your boyfriend didn't have.

To wait on a woman, and if he did have to wait on you, it would be a coincidence because he didn't have to wait.

Then it's ironic.

There, Okay, right, I don't Okay, now it's like too much. But I use the Atlantis song a lot when I'm trying to figure out ironic.

I like, but I don't think her stuff is really ironic. Well, then why she put it in the song just because she wanted to make a song. I feel like she's so very she's smart, like she would make it work anyway. I nudged him during that song and I was like, you don't have to wait.

On me today, you don't have to wait on me today, and other things since then. I just maybe because I celebrated it and I want to not break my streak. I'm trying to stay the course and just get more places with ease. And I don't know there's something about it, because I don't know if it's just ADHD people or other people may have this too, Like the whole time blindness thing, but like there's things that just are difficult for me, and that's sometimes organizing what order in which

Yeah. And I think also even if you don't have ADHD, this is helpful because sometimes when people hear this, they're like, wait, that's hard for you. So it helps you have a little bit or compassion and empathy for somebody who's struggling to do something that seems kind of like a mundane task.

Yeah, because it's not like we're trying to do it on purpose. But I do have awareness of it. And so that's where it's tricky, which you've said before, sort of like therapy is.

The awareness is the booby trap of therapy. Yeah, the booby trap.

It's all a booby trap because then what you're aware, it's like, Okay, well I can continue to live life this way, or I can try to do something about it. Yeah, which I'm I'm personally not medicated, but for other people they may want to medicate. But I do neuro feedback,

I just can't change my oil so much.

So well, like physically you mean, just go get it changed, or you you can't actually change it yourself because of both, Well, but I don't want to change it myself.

Well, I'm both.

I have such a hard time when I get a little bit panics when I see the car engine light so much so. I think I've told the story on the podcast where I waited too long and my car broke down in the middle of a very busy intersection.

I had to get my car towed, no oil left.

Interesting though, but I think this is because I have ADHD with like not really a lot of anxiety. I think you have ADHD with a lot of a lot of anxiety. Like when we travel together, you want to get to the airport two hours early. I want to get there twenty minutes before boarding, like especially if I'm not checking a bag and I have TSSA free and you you like freak out over that, but like it's a owt you do.

I react normally to somebody, Okay.

Now you're like hyper ventilating.

Okay, but you lived too much on the edge, Like why would you put yourself in that situation? And remember when we were in New York, literally our flight was leaving in an hour and we hadn't even left the apartment, and I was trying to be so cool, and I think in the it was finally the uber that.

I was like, I'm god of freaking out over here, like.

Shaky, yeah, because why would you not just get there early so you could make sure.

I know, but that's part of my growth. And now I will meet you halfway. And I think knew me the last week or so would be able to get to the airport early, because why wouldn't I want to do that with ease. But my point back to the check engine light or something in the car, is like you get nervous with it, like I'm like, ugh, who cares, there's a light on? Like we'll figure that out later. But it just seems a little overwhell. It's like I don't want to deal with it, so I just I'm like, Okay,

You to minimize it, where I'm just like I avoid it.

Yeah, I minimize avoid it, and you anxiously avoid it or something.

I don't know.

It's different though, like his energy is different, but same, different but the same. What about returning things, because like I often.

You know that I hadn't returned things from Amazon for about like five years. It was a recent thing that I realized how easy it was to return things from Amazon.

Wait, you returned something to the Amazon?

No, I didn't. I have.

I used to have a box in my closet with things that needed to be returned that I didn't return.

It was like a joke from all my friends.

They're like, you'll never return this if you buy it off of Amazon, and I didn't.

I didn't realize it was so easy. Okay, it felt like a lot.

So I guess what I'm asking for Cody on is did you decide to return things from five years ago or you just started returning?

I just started. I think I gave most of that stuff to Goodwill. I think I sold some of it on Facebook marketplace.

Good for you. Yeah, I think just returning stuff, like especially from impulse purchases, can be very returning your aff to them all. Yeah. Like I bought a new collared workout shirt from Target for pickleball. I needed a caller shirt for where I was playing, and it was way too tight. And I keep saying, I'm gonna go to Target, I'm gonna go to Target. I'm gonna do Target, and guess what, I still have it and it's too tight, Like I'm not gonna be able to wear it, and

Okay, this is interesting again. If my gas light is on, I get anxious, Like there's some people that drive their car till zero.

Could never be me.

See, that's weird. That is total me. So have you ever run out of gas? I haven't in forever. No, I always to make it. But my car says now it goes from to like towards empty, and then it'll say please refuse like a little written note. And then when it gets to the note changes from please refuel to refuel immediately.

That's when you do it. I do it.

But you didn't answer my question. Have you ever run out of gas? Yes, okay, you've got to avoid it.

But it's been a long time. I just know I said it's been a long time.

That's then but no, so no or something like that.

Okay, well, that's just filler words. I realize sometimes I say butt and it doesn't even make sense, Like if I hear myself back and I'll be talking, like even during some of our episodes, like if I have to listen to something and I hear it back, I'm like, why did I just say butt?

Right there?

I say, so, that was probably me just saying but but anyway, but so but but but is a filler word for me.

Okay, so you haven't have gas, but now your car helps you. But here's the here's the thing. What if refill immediately happens while you're not close to a gas station.

I get yeah, I get that. I'm trying to be better at it. I mean, my son, he freaks out about the gas tank. And even last night we were driving and he was like, how much guess do you have? And I said I have half a tank and he was like, dad fills up around half a tank. And I was like, isn't that nice? Isn't your dad so prepared? I mean, a lot of the tank a wild well, a lot of people won't. They'll go between half a quarter of a tank and they are definitely getting gas. I have never been that way.

You know, what I really feel like a win is is when you fill up your gas. Like if I have to fill up my tank out, I be like, I'm gonna do it in the morning. When you actually do it for your morning self so and then you're not rushed to work.

That feels like I climbed a mountain. M h. I feel so proud of myself.

I got gas the other day and I got so bored doing it. I didn't fill all the way up. I think I got to half a tank.

You're like, this place is lame. I'm out of here, I know.

I was like, why I drove off and it only was it half a tank, and I was like, why am I this way?

All of those people go and fill up that half. You only filled up because.

I was over it. And I was like, what what is wrong with me? Because now I'm gonna have to come back even sooner and you're to come do this again. It's stupid, Like I do not be like me.

Stati didn't have good vibes.

I don't know, just don't be like me. Although I am a working Morgan progress maybe I'll maybe with just like now I'm gonna be ready when my boyfriend's coming to pick me up. I'm gonna turn over a new leaf and like start filling up it three quarters of a tank.

Imagine that too much? Then you're doing it like every other.

Day, okay, okay, grocery shopping with a plan. I always have like a list in my head and I'm like, okay, yeah, I'm pretty sure I have basil, but we're definitely out of paprika, and so I'll buy paprika and not get basil, and then I'll get home and I have the opposite. It's like literally the opposite, or like you know, when you're doing something and you have to like tell it to yourself. Like I was making cupcakes the other day and I was like, third a cup of oil, third a couple of Oh.

My god, third a cup of oil.

And then I go and I'm like, third a cup of oil, and I know it's a third a couple of oil, but I have to check the box a million times. But then of course I don't check the box for the full instructions because it's like mix all the wet and then add it to the dry, but I just throw it all in at the same time. And I was like, why did they want me to do like separate.

Overly check this one thing?

But then you totally disregard Yes, exactly speaking, I literally have to read the recipe seventeen times, but like you know that you know, but then at the same time you're like, did I make that up? Or like did I am? I seeing it backwards? Like is it correct? What would it be?

Like I always wanted to have a photographic memory.

Oh my gosh, amazing, we would rule the world, the world.

The world would be so induvsive, Oh my gosh, people would be in all of us.

Instead, I'm like digging the box out of the trash because I threw it away thinking I remember exactly what I need, and I'm like, okay, better go get those instructions out of the trash can again, and then I'm reading them and I'm like, why am I this way?

Literally like three eggs? Three eggs? Three eggs? Like I got it.

You throw it away and then you're like how many eggs? I think it was three, but like I can't be so sure. It might be two, but like that would be creazy.

And then did I put three? Ten? Thank god, there's three little yellow things floating in there are I wouldn't.

Know the amount of times I'm like did I put the baking soda in?

Or did I not put it in?

Like I'm not sure, and so I try to go in an order of the ingredients, but sometimes you get ahead of yourself.

Did I take my medication or did I not? Should I double up or go out more harmful to like not take it or have too much?

And then I told myself so many times, just get one of those pill boxes.

Then you'll always know if you've taken it or not.

And I'm like, okay, I'm gonna do that, and then I'll like say I'll do it later, and then later it never comes, and then I tell myself I'm gonna do it.

You know what, I think that pill boxes are like journals for ADHD people. You know how a lot of HD ADHD people have lots of journals. Yeah, like I need a new journal. I need a new planner for this, I need a new I have so many different pill box type containers. Yeah, because I have one.

Yeah, okay, because I've never bought one.

Oh really, I keep telling myself I'm gonna buy one, so then I don't forget if I'm taking my medication or not, or my vitamins or anything, and then I.

I never do it. Come up to my Amazon shop in my bathroom. Why didn't you return them because I wanted hard? No, you just wanted I wanted them all, just like I want all my journals. Did you see that super cute journal?

Your emotional support pill boxes? That's why I have so many water bottles.

Yeah, I'm not that way with water bottles, just because I don't really like drinking water, But so you.

Should get water bottles. Maybe that's what I'll get you for Christmas.

Yeah, do you see the super cute journal? I head out there at the five minute journal with flowers. It's really cute. Yeah, it makes me want us to make a journal one day. Maybe we will for Christmas, maybe we will TBD so grocery shopping with a plan that's hard for people, day AHD filling out any paperwork when I'm.

Talking about this, but the paperwork because I need to change my name. But I'm like, it sounds like so much work.

I think I'm getting to the point where maybe I could do it, like I have to adult and do it, but I also have help at times. Shandon's in the room, so I feel like I need to acknowledge it. And she definitely helps make a lot of my paperwork, so I feel like she's like, I know how you get it done.

You're like, I don't have a problem with that, And.

I'm actually pulled out everything. My kids are doing great, medical school forms, insurance.

I just got an urgent message that if I didn't feel something now, something would beat.

I didn't just text it on our you don't have to give me credit ever, haha.

Okay. But also for her to be like, oh, it's no problem for me.

I know I can't act like that, like I know that. I know that that's and I also see that as like a gift, and I also know that I can't always rely on that, Like I need to have agency over my life and I need to do things.

That's you saying, Okay, this is hard for me. I need help in this area.

So you ask me, and I'm to a place where in my life I have been able to have that. I didn't always have that, and I justly didn't do things like paperwork. It's like, Oh, I finally, how did you know you've made it well? Making appointments? Oh my gosh. I've been trying to make myself be in charge of this part of my life of like calling and doing things.

And are you calling or are you doing it online? That's a game changer.

I'm texting or calling.

If I have to call to make an appointment, probably not gonna happen.

I guess it's mostly by text.

If I can do it online, I think I'm good. But if I there's some places you go online, you send a message and then they call you to make the appointment, I'm out.

Yeah. Yeah, especially if you call me back at a time where I don't know. I'm in that mode. Where I can't. Like, there's some things where I can like check on my text messages and I'm like good. And there's other times texts come in and I'm like, I don't know what to do. I'm just not even gonna open it. And it's like if someone that I want to hear from and that I really enjoy and I

Which is just because I forget your birthday.

Yeah, because but you also know what it feels like. It feels horrible, like as the person that just.

Goes on it's so sweet. I'm like, I only know that you're saying this. It's because I've gotten your birthday wrong every time.

Yeah, it's like I met my match and your birthday.

Is still on the wrong day in my calendar right now, Yeah, that's myself I was going to change.

I think it's also more fun too that like every year, I'm going to look forward to seeing if it's you know that you get my birthday right, But I have empathy for people if they get it, like, of course do I want my birthday to be celebrated, like we all we do want to be remembered, and it feels good. And also if someone were to forget and be like, oh shoot, I am like, you know what been there? It's okay because I know when I've done that, it

I mean, then you're screwed. Manually put your birthday in the wrong day.

Okay, it's okay, I forgive you.

But that is nice that there's not pressure because if you forget something or something like that happens, there's not pressure for you to do everything perfectly because I'm like, oh, same.

Yeah, but we don't just it's not like you do. You're not just gonna be like, oh, I'm gonna keep living this way although every year, but you show up in other ways, like really awesome other ways, Like I think everyone has their gifts and strengths, and I just think.

Well, I'm always earlier on your birthday, so it's not like I forget your birthday.

Yeah, so just.

Gifts and strength, thank you.

Thank you, so returns, birthday cars, important documents, mailing stuff, getting them into an actual mailbox. It feels harder than you would think, harder than it should, quite honestly. And then canceling subscriptions we don't use, like.

That one is geared towards you. Yeah, how's your face? Fitness? Oh I cancel, canceled, cancel.

I haven't even been doing it.

You're not even doing exercises.

I mean sometimes I open up my limps, but.

Occasionally I'm like.

See, maybe that's like your hyperfixation is like I hyper fixate on all these different hobbies. You hyper fixate on all these different like things, like.

Really fitness as a hobby. It was, it was very time continued.

It's not a hobby. Why what do you do for fun?

I was yearning about Posta and the this muscle, I was, it's anatomy. It's not a hobby. I'm sorry Faceditness is not a hobby. It is jumping on a mini tramplate.

If you like to tramp.

I love to walk with my weight to best.

That's a hobby.

Is walking standing on my vibrating plate? Is that a hobby? Is walking standing on my vibrating clate?

What is that a hobby? What my vibrating clate? You know the plates that you stand on. Wait, you don't know about a vibrating plate. First of all, what a vibrating fight. It's like a ron thing.

And why you never told me about that? Hiding this from me?

You stand on it and it's shaking your whole body, it's opening up your lengths.

I've never heard of this. It reminds me of my great grandma had this exercise machine. No, it was like a little wooden square on a swivel, and you stood on it and you went like this. It's called the twisty turvy. And that was how they worked out. Is they just stood on their twisty turfy. Oh they did this.

Your gret grandma didn't have.

One of those. I saw My grandma did not. She bold and sat in her recliner smoked cigarettes. Okay, was her activity. I took this from my great grandma's house. I'm pretty sure when she passed away, and I think my mom still has it. If you would like to borrow it.

That could be a hobby. I twist.

Yeah. I guess my hobbies maybe different than here.

I'm not trying to hate on your hobbies. I don't think that's a hobby. I think that's just something that.

You do spend time doing.

Yeah, the hobby to like, what's the definition of an interest that brings you like joy and that you I mean, I guess that would fit.

Okay, I'll give you that. The vibrating plate isn't a hobby, but face fitness might be.

Okay, And you know, I shouldn't have reacted that way because if that really is.

What if I was like, what's your hobby? Skincare.

I just like, how much time can you spend?

Skincare is not but like face fitness would fall like, but some people might be really into like testing out different types of skincare and figuring out what works for them and then telling their friends and make up a hobby like you're how to do your eyes a fun way or makeup?

Yeah, you're right, I'm being a little judge. So if you have facebitness to be your hobby.

That, well it's not anymore. I quit.

Okay, So what's your next hobby going to be? Can't be vibrating plate. Let's see, I really love cleaning.

I love it. I've been really getting if I've been on my laundry gain like you would not.

Believe, like laundry is your new hobby.

Well, I've always loved laundry, but I am at peak laundry level where I rarely have.

Anything to do.

A dirty item come to my house, no like, and I'm I'm trying to make sure my kids are on it. And I'm like, if we've got laundry, we're getting done now. It's it probably doesn't make sense water wise. Are you like doing special things with the laundry? Or you just like like to no, I'm just like on it. It's like if if it's if it's in the wash and

Okay. Well, i have a doffe and I'm.

Not even going on vacation for like two more weeks, and I've already started organizing on a rack what I'm gonna pack? Who am I?

Okay, but that's not a hobby.

Well, but this is just norly I'm packing last minute. But I'm telling you, like, I don't know if it's my neural feedback or if it's just like my awareness and I'm trying to be more intentional.

Are you excited about your vacation? Maybe can I tell you the definition of hobby? This might help us narrow down what your next hobby is going to be an activity done regularly in one's leisure time for pleasure. Hobbies are not pursued with intention of making a profit. So that's why I'm not selling my jewelry. I'm just giving it away, right. However, is this done in your leisure time for pleasure? Is is laundry done in your leisure time for pleasure? Yeah?

I mean like I was like, and if that is satisfying to you.

It was satisfying.

Put it away. You have a certain like detergent that you love.

That's unscented, freeing clear because my dermatologists, I had that rash. Remember, Yeah, I'm brad that rash. I can't even use scented detergent. I can't even use fabric softener anymore. I use vinegar, and I can't even use dryer sheets. I use wool balls and I put a drop of vanilla essential oil on the balls.

Does it work yeah?

Okay, but it's it's taken me a minute to get used to and then the balls they get lost.

Okay. So are you satisfied with your hobby life?

No?

Okay, So let's we'll brainstorm a something for you to try.

Okay, i'd be. I want our listeners to email us their hobbies. Oh yeah, okay, great ideas like I'd like to horseback ride, but it's expensive hobby. Well, it's harder than you would think. I've been trying to find a place for my kids to go because they did equine therapy and I thought, oh, they would really enjoy doing that, and it's hard to track down a place with a horse to go ride. So you're right, it's not easy.

Have you seen those hobby horse things from Denay?

Oh?

No, but no, maybe day.

Hey she's got this character is Judy hobby horsing?

Judy does she jump around on a horse on a stick? Yes? Okay, that's a thing they have.

I don't know what you're talking about, but hobby horsing is a real hobby that people now do, and it's they have like horse competitions.

But you're just running around on the horse stick.

Okay, that's not me.

I'm not doing that. That would be easier than going to find a horse. I'm not doing that.

Okay, So send in a hobby, so then you can pick one that you're definitely going to do.

Yeah, y'all can email us your hobbies. Hey, they're at Feeling Things podcast dot com. And speaking of emails, we have an email at the day. This is just a very simple direct question that I thought we could address because you know, other people might be in this situation.

Maybe not.

It's kind of unique, but she said, Hey, hoping y'all can help a girl out recently matched with a man on a dating app. The thing is, we both have kids in a mutual activity and have never spoken. So I've been talking to him but he doesn't seem to recognize me in real life. Do I tell him or play dumb until we hopefully have a date? Thank you, smiley face.

Okay, So I'm curious what you would do. So this is somebody who mets him in a dating app. It sounds like her child is maybe on like the same soccer team as this person's child.

What would you do?

Well, I'm like, why hasn't he put two and two together? I would be like, do my pictures look like me?

Or maybe it's just that, like there is a bigger thing than a soccer team, Like, let's say they both go to the same gym, like gymnastics gym, that could be therebe hundreds of people there, So.

I guess I would probably say something in the app if we've been messaging, I'd be like, hey, do you have a kid that plays soccer?

Sports?

Basketball? And then I mean.

Like, I think that's an easy point of conversation and opener, right.

Like, hey, random, but I think it's weird. We've been chatting on here and you definitely saw me at the basketball game this weekend and didn't say anything.

That's awkward to me.

Okay, so what's she supposed to do?

That's what No. I'm saying, like, it's awkward to then see them and act like you don't know them.

You know, I'm glad we read this because I think this can bring a lot of something that's bringing her anxiety.

I don't think it's that big of a deal.

I think you'd say, hey, I think our kids are on the same rowing team or something like that, or go to the same.

Art class, or now I think our kids are the same hobby horse club. Are you at hobby horse thing the other day?

Yeah?

But I don't.

I mean, I guess don't play dumb, although don't remember remember my boyfriend he had seen me. This is a little bit different, but it's like, why didn't you say that you had ever met me before? Because because I didn't recognize him, But he met me at Whole Foods, like over a year before we ever went out, and on our first date, he never brought that up, and

Would you have thought it was weird? Maybe? Oh?

But then by the second date, I was already liking him. So he's like I waited till I knew like, okay, I think she's into me, so safe I better.

Tell you now. So it doesn't feel like he's like a stalker.

Yes, okay, because he came up to me like yeah, because what he said to me at Whole Foods is like, hey, my kids and I listen every day. You'll do great job with the show. Okay.

Yeah.

Well, then if we're out on our first date and then he brings that up, I'd be like, oh.

Yeah, I think your situation is a little different, just because it could come off that way. This is like, yeah, it's just bring it up because he either doesn't know or he doesn't know what to do either. Yeah. What if he's thinking the same thing and he's like, I'm glad you said something. I didn't know if I should say something or not.

Okay, So so that answers that. Yeah, so say something, say it in the app.

And if he thinks that's so weird that he's like, oh, I'm never speaking to you again, he's weird, Like, that's not a reason to not reply, right, Like you've dodged a bullet.

If that's the case, screw him, kidding, not yet, No, not like that, like that okay, and we'll wrap with a we did an email the date, so we'll do a voicemail of the day. This is from Shannon in Colorado. She is talking about it Talks episode from a while back where one of our listeners had had a supervisor say that she shouldn't do a certain part of her job because she's a woman, and this is her thoughts on that, because this has happened to her as well. Here is the voicemail.

Hi, Amy and Kat. My name is Shannon. I am from Colorado and I was just listening to the podcast in regards to the young lady who had a supervisor saying things about her and that she should not be doing work because she's a woman. I have had this situation happen as well, and I think I have come out of it by just asking the gentleman, so can you please elaborate on that and explain to me what part of my job you feel like I can do.

There you go.

That is from Shannon, and I like that. Just that can apply to if a man is saying that about you being a woman, or just any time you need clarity around something, to just pause and ask that simple question like.

Could you elaborate?

Elaborate? Can you further explain what you mean by X, y Z whatever they asked you? And then yes, it's the balls in their court and they have an opportunity to explain themselves.

I like her curiosity how she was like, it's really hard to assume what men's brains are thinking, so she really is asking versus making assumptions.

So thank you.

Love that advice. Thank you Shannon, and y'all can call and leave us voicemails anytime. Eight seven seven, two oh seven, two oh seven seven, So voicemails, emails. We're attainable, reachable.

Reachable, We're attainable. I guess we're both. Is that ironic or a coincidence?

You pick?

Okay, we have you had the day that you need to have? Follow us on Instagram Feeling Things podcast, right, Yeah, a fir change shit at Feeling Things podcast. Yes, yeah, it just felt weird. You know sometimes when you say something and it feels weird.

Yeah.

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Okay, bye bye