All right, break it down. If you ever have feelings that you just fons Amy and Cat gotcha, Cob and locking no brother ladies and fels do you just follow Ann the spirit where it's all the real stuff to the chill stuff and the m but Swayne, sometimes the best thing you can do it just stop you feel things.
This is Feeling Things with Amy and Kat.
Have you Tuesday Feeling Things? Formerly? I wanted to say formerly four Things with Amy Brown because someone someone might be tuning in right now and they're like, which tuning in? Is that totally a radio thing, like tuning into the dialtive But someone might be streaming us, downloading us at the moment and listening and they're like, wait, what is feeling things? Because I'm just trying to listen to four Things with Amy Brown. But welcome to Feeling Things, which
is formally four Things with Amy Brown. I'm Amy, I'm Kat, and today's episode one of Feeling Things. But it's episode six hundred and fifty. If we were still four things, that's crazy, so we could look at it that way, which I don't know how we're really going to count it because it's on the same feed and we have somewhere between. I thought it was twenty five million, but I got an update from our PR person because she was putting together a press release, and it said nearly
twenty seven million downloads. But if you're listening right now, and this is episode one of Feeling Things, and someone's actually listening, then we have one download and counting. So we're just excited that you're here. And if you have time, or when you have time, if you can subscribe, follow leave a review. That is very helpful, especially during this transition, this makeover, this rebrand, and we're going to get into
a lot of different things today. One thing specifically that is by request by Cat, which is about con artist, but it's mostly because you think I'm getting conned.
By your face fitness person. Right, We're going to go through a checklist and see it could be true.
I paid money officially thirty days ago.
And are you getting something out of it? Well, we'll go, we'll get into it.
We get when we go we get a con artist checklist. I'll tell you kind of an email I got today from them and I was like, oh, perfect timing. We're also going to go over core emotions, and today will be part one because Kat's the therapist here, so she knows the basics. Did you learn the eight core emotions in school or no?
Because there's not like an actual one eight feelings, eight emotions. If you look on the internet, you're going to get allion different answers. But there's a couple places that I've found, well I use what works for me that it splits them up into eight and then there's like sub sections, so we're going to go through all of those.
So eight core emotions coming up, and it may seem a little bit basic, but what's cool about our emotions? Which we're going to cover the first four today and then next Tuesday we'll do the other four. But feelings can be a gift or they can be an impairment. And so you might be like, oh, I don't need to know the core feelings or I already know them. Of course I've heard those before, but you may not know the gift that they give you, and you may
not know the impairment that they give you. So that's really what we're going to be going over.
Which that I feel like when you learn that, you're more apt to actually feel the uncomfortable stuff because you know that there's a gift in it, and sometimes it just feels like, oh the sucks, you know.
Yeah, I mean, and I want the gifts, like I'm going to chase the gifts, like now that I know there's gifts, like at the end of the tunnel, yeah, I'm gonna be like, Okay, let's just feel this faster.
Like last week when you hurt me, that gave me a.
Gift, well, I didn't know that I felt hurt. I felt hurt right, and then you were able to share that with me, and hurt is one of the first four that we're going to go over today. So we'll share that story. And I learned something too in that the faster you speak about it, the quicker it gets resolved deep I mean, quote me, quote me, which obviously
that is exactly what happens. But so many times we put things off or we don't want to bring it up because we don't want to be a burden, or we don't want to seem silly, or it's like, oh is it us, which there was some of it going on with you, and you were willing to address that one on one with your therapist, which I can respect.
I wanted to make sure that it wasn't just my stuff coming up before I brought it up to you, but then we brought it up pretty quickly.
Well, you didn't even need to bring it up to me because I brought it up to Yeah, we're giving away the whole story, Okay, we'll do it when we get into Hurt, and I do have a little side story about my daughter, Sashira. She's seventeen. And you know, we're starting to build like these segments, Like in a second, we'll do the feeling of the day, so every Tuesday episode, people will get a new feeling of the day that we're going to focus on and talk about in today's word.
Like I never really thought about how that was an actual feeling. I mean, i know I've used it like I feel, but I'm like, wait, that's a feeling, like where's the gift? So we'll go over that kind of second. But as we were building out, like you know, things we want to have, like in radio, we call them benchmarks, so core things, when you tune in, you're gonna get it. Like when Kat and I were doing the Fifth Thing, the bonus episode for the Fourth Things podcast, we had
a quote every episode. So now on the Tuesday episodes, you're gonna get a feeling of the day. And so I was going over some of that was to share, and she goes, can I have a segment on the podcast? And I was like, what would your segment be? And she goes, oh, I can talk about all kinds of things, but I really like to discuss about that time that you thought you knew.
That guy and you.
Were hanging out with that guy all the time, and I knew all along, Like I knew right away this is something's off, something's off, and how mom's gonna fall for anything.
And I was like, oh, just to share it, that'd be a good segment.
Well, I said, well, lucky for her, you're going over a con artist checklist. This will apply to anything, whether it's you know something you've signed up for, dating, a work relationship. You can spot the con artists with the list. But she really was easy. She knew to come on
and make a segment. Oh, she knew, and we talked about it whenever I was severing that relationship, which is a little backstory on that and I am not going to get into the whole thing because I had to shut it down and like to share that's not going to be a segment. But I was spending time with this one particular person and it turned out not to be a healthy situation.
It's a good way to put it.
And she was sixteen at the time, and she knew it, like she knew right away. She was, Oh, mom, I kinda told you that from why didn't the beginning?
I know, she's she's an adult, she can make an own decision.
She's like, I'm good at sniffing people out and figuring out those details. So she wanted to come on and share her thoughts about that. However, out of respect for other people involved, Like, I don't think it'd be fair for me to tell that entire story. Yeah, maybe I'll feel differently in like a year.
Yeah, it's too close right now. And it's also one of those things that the further away from it, the funnier it gets, you know. Yes, Oh wait another year, so I'll be even more funny.
I was thinking about that the other day. It's like, God, how quickly our lives turn, because now I'm in a completely different type of relationship, completely different type of person, you know, like he's employed, it's a car stuff like that. Okay, okay, feeling of the day, you ready for it? I'm ready. Okay, we don't have any like fun. The feeling of the day.
Like a little extra song. Here is the feeling of the day.
Okay, cat cat nailed it. Which, by the way, when I get into the feeling of the day, which is ugly, ugly is the feeling of the day. But Cat got to my house and I was running a little behind getting ready because I am drawing on my eyebrows right now because I had them lasered off and now they're red. The undertone is red like they're burnt off, like I have a little bit of hair. But then underneath where the microbladed, it's like a tattoo was lasered off and
the red part is left. So the red part is going to get removed in like seven weeks.
But it oh be red for seven weeks. Yeah, okay, And it's red well right now. Doesn't look bad because.
I put a layer of foundation over my brows and then I put powder, and then I put a little bronzer or something to give it a little sign of color because my foundation's a little pale. Probably need to upgrade that. And then I drew on my new brows. Well, I drew them on the first time and they were a little wonky, So then what do you do? I have to start over.
So did you watch a tutorial.
No, it took me a minute to figure out this concoction. Like I just kind of thought, well, I'm gonna draw over the red and then I realized if I wipe them out basically, and then I give myself more of a blank canvas.
But that's what a lot of people that I see on TikTok, that's what they do. And they have eyebrows, but they put foundation completely over them and make it look like they are bald, and then they start anew and they make their eyebrows look how they want ahead of the Well, some people just do this anyway, so maybe you're just on the makeup trends. Also, I think you need to shout out the lift and snatch because you're still using it and I cannot I can't describe
how real they look. My strokes, Your strokes, Your strokes are good. Yeah, it's a The brand is in y X Nicks. Is it called Nicks or in my ex I have no idea. I don't know because I think I always read that as NYC in my head.
Okay, well it's even though it's an x Nicks. Yeah, and lift and snatch is the brow like a pin and it creates these lifelike strokes. But you got to have a steady hand because so when I first started, I was a little nervous, shaky, But now I've gotten to where I'm like, yeah, you know, so, yeah, maybe I have maybe there's a future for me.
And is that why the feeling of the day ugly? Yeah?
Well, you know, we have our emotional barometer box and I was just flipping through some of them. When I came across ugly. I resonated and I was like, Okay, we're going to do this. So I dedicate this feeling of the day to my brows. Feeling ugly isn't about looks. It's about how we see ourselves when we're down. Our mood distorts our reflection, making us focus on flaws that aren't really there. Even the most beautiful people feel this way when that happens. We don't need a makeover. We
need kindness, love and perspective. And if we can't find that in ourselves, we can borrow it from someone who sees us clearly.
I love that you picked this. I think I've never seen these cards, so I never have read that and have looked at ugly as an actual emotion. But I do talk about, because I specialize in body image and eating disorders, is that when people see themselves in a mirror, they don't see what they look like, they see how
they're feeling. So I love this, And a lot of times when we look in the mirror, we were like, Oh, I need to lose weight, or I need to dye my hair, or I need a new wardrobe, when really it's what you're saying, it's I need to go do something nice for myself, and if I come back in like an hour, I might see something different. Yeah, it's crazy.
Try the dopamine dressing, Like, Yeah, instead of trying to force some outfit to make yourself fit into, like a trend or whatever's happening, or a color you thought you wanted to wear, Like, go to your closet and get a go to outfit that you know you feel good in and put that on and then go in the mirror and do what do they call it? The the super woman pose? You're talking about where you stand in the mirror.
What is that called power?
Post power post superwoman power?
I like superwoman better power.
Sometimes I when I'm doing my meditation.
Sums up yourself. You know how some people.
Sit well, and a lot of times I do. But I sit calmly with my palms up if I'm wanting to receive, and palms down if I'm wanting to feel grounded. And then other times I just stick my thumb straight in the air with my eyes closed. But I put my arms out really straight, and I'm trying to channel my thumbs out into the It's like a little antenna.
I thought you were trying to like give yourself a thumbs up.
No, oh, I don't try to receive the where I got the waves, But sometimes I do. I do it, and I think that that's my body saying like I need it, like I don't have it in me today, so like Lord, give it to me, Lord give it to me, you know, fill me up, give me the energy. And I picture it going like I have a visualization of it going like through my thumb all the way down my arm into my body.
I kind of did you learn that or you just.
I don't know where I learned it. I certainly didn't come. I mean, I don't know if it was over time in different meditations that I've done, if maybe you're random one on YouTube someone's like, now stick your thumbs in the air and.
You're like, okay, I'll do anything.
I mean, I definitely didn't call it an antenna or who knows. It could have been a yoga class at one point. Which part of this podcast flipping over from Four Things to Feeling Things is just the evolution of where we are and the direction my life is going. Meeting you, having you as now a full time host with me, and kind of what we want to share with others and come alongside people in their journey of
growing and therapy and whatnot. And Kat had a podcast called You Need Therapy, and she has set that aside and now here with us. So this is going to be like a mixture of what we were doing on Four Things and You Need Therapy and you'll see it. That's the plan now, but we may continue to evolve. But speaking of evolution, I was thinking back when I first started doing yoga, way way way, way way back
in the day in Austin. I went too this one class where they had gongs and they were laying there and then they served this little tea afterwards, and I'm like, I couldn't get the heck out of there fast enough. But that was your first experience, yeah, because it was this yoga studio sort of close to my mom's house. So I decided to go, and I was terrified, like
I thought they had a gong. I remember even going on the Bobby buoncher the next day and I'm like, I don't know where I went, guys, but it was crazy, like we were laying down and then we kind of doing and unison. Yeah, we did a flow practice, but then between the gong and the kool aid at the end, you can't go right. But that's what it felt to me. And now I'd be like, sign me up, Like where is this classic?
Nobody uses gongs anymore.
I'm like, I want to breathe in unison? Yeah, are we gonna chant?
Because it probably felt very different. So You're like, this is weird. I gotta get out. And now you've You've embraced so many different things.
So now I've evolved to where I stick my thumbs in the air and channel the energy. I've also evolved to where I'm doing face fitness in lua botox.
Yeah.
I think the last time I got injected was six six months ago.
Yeah, six months sober.
Six months clean from botox. I may go back to it. I'm not antiet at all, Like if somebody wants to get it, but for me, I wanted to know my new baseline. And so for the last three months, so January February March, I'm doing face fitness. The first two months I was doing free things on YouTube. The month of March I was doing.
A paid course. You dove right in.
And Kat thinks that I'm being conned.
Yeah, So we're going to go over a list of things that might indicate that you're being conned by somebody, and then we're going to keep your tally and based on your score, we're gonna vote. I'm gonna vote if you're my scam score, your scam score, we'll see if you got conned or not. But before we do that, I do want to say I don't know if I've said this before, but you doing the no botox is a big deal. I feel like because you've and I mean I'll pat myself on the back too because I'm
doing it. Too, But I have been getting botox for a couple of years, and you get used to your face looking a certain way, and so stopping doing that it is like you have to get used to that again. So I think it's a big deal that you're attempting this. Even if you go back to it, it's just, hey, I want to make sure that this is something I still want to.
Do, which I'll touch on the fact that the reason why I decided to get my brows lasered off, my micro bladed brows is because I stopped the botox and my forehead changed. So you happen to be listening for the first day. I've talked about this in previous episodes, but I'll just give you that tiny bit of information because you might be like, why would you get your brows micro bladed and then have them lasered off. Well,
nobody tells you. Nobody tells you when you go get a microbladed with botox that then when your forehead starts to shift because it's not frozen anymore, your brows can be wonky. And so that was happening to me. So I was like, I need a fresh start.
So thank you for spreading awareness. To that because people might be like, oh, I'm going to stop this too, and then they're like oh no now.
But it may not. Everybody's foreheads different.
I don't depending on where your wrinkles are, because I mine didn't move because I my it was my eleven wasn't as as now pronounced.
I can give you an exercise for that.
Okay, great, did you get that from your front?
So you take this hook and then you press like but you build it real good and you can even do a vibrating sensation and then you go all.
The way up.
But you've got to really get deep into the muscle, deep into.
The So before we go into this list, can you tell me where you found this person? Did she have like a credential or TikTok? Got it?
Yeah? I think she has uh sort of training in anatomy, in kinesiology. I don't know where she received her letters, but you know, like she has a certificate.
I'm sure, Okay, I haven't seen it. Okay, before we get into this, let's between a certificate and a degree.
But she also has one of these cute little skeletons and she knows all.
Of the the bone, like she'll.
Be like your muscle and I'm like, oh. And then my friend Claire was telling her the other day. I was like, you want to massage this? And then Claire said that. She goes, oh, the Claire is a I know she has degrees. But what I'm saying is Claire said it, and it's the exact thing. She confirmed it, which I don't know what. The reason why I don't know exactly how to say it is because she's.
Foreign, so you can say in the foreign language Claire.
Claire said it and it sounded similar, and I'm like, that's it. So yeah, she has an accent and her English isn't great, so sometimes she's like, you know what's this called? She's like, oh, your teeth or or you know what's that You need to get a pull your hair back with a hairband, stuff like that.
So it's in English. Yes, okay, yes, okay, yes.
Because when I was doing some free YouTube, I was having to read the subtitle trends to know what to do, which was a lot of work because I was like trying to like massage my face and read. I just want to be told. So she has who knows, maybe she has a million something on TikTok, she has over a million on Instagram, she's on YouTube with millions of views, and then she has a course. Okay, so the course is what I signed up for, so con artists checklist.
Let's go through it. And I have a affinity for this type of stuff. As you know, I'm very skeptical of everybody of everybody. But I learned that the hard way though, because I wanted to trust everybody, and then I got really into things and I'm like, oh my gosh, they're lying. And I will say I got a certificate for something back in the day, and as I'm getting the certificate, I was like, I could do this with
my eyes closed. So I kind of learned that you have to be aware of what certificate somebody has, you know, because I didn't learn anything in that course, and I could have been doing all kinds of things. Okay.
AnyWho, Yeah, I'll trust just about anybody. So which is I mean.
I'm not better that You're not worse, it's just different.
No, I mean I feel like you're probably missing out on a lot, which is back to Stashira's segment idea that she wanted where she's like mama fall for anything.
Probably a lot. Okay, Well, let's go through. This is just a little checklist of things that might signify that somebody is conning you or manipulating you.
Okay.
So I'm going to read them, and you're going to tell me yes or notice is fit? And so like, maybe why I'm going to read them and you're going to tell me yes or notice is fit? Okay, And so like maybe why does it seem too good to be true? Yes?
Because well, I mean, now that I think about it, but I think that I'm like, wow, you can really achieve these results by just massaging your face every day? Like I guess at the end of the day, it does seem too good to be true.
Like she's over promising, but it still could be possible. Okay. So it's not crazy. It's not like we'll make you look like you're seven. It's like we can make you look like you have botox by just these three simple Right.
This is where I struggle because I have my I want to give this a go, and I'm trying anything brain and like, I think it's possible, but also could it be too good to be true?
Yes?
So I'm just answering, honestly, okay, like at the end of the day, yes, okay, okay.
Are they promising guaranteed results with no risk?
No, they're not promising guaranteed results. Everybody's a different starting stage, is she said, in different ages?
And okay? Do they make you feel like you're broken or incomplete without using their thing that they're selling on the method? No? Okay?
Am I not getting called? So far?
You're doing pretty good. Is there a sense of urgent see or pressure to buy now or you're going to miss out on something? Yes? Okay, what's that? Yes? She said that it was sold out and you were got on a wait list and then all of a sudden you're in the file.
And then I got an email and it's like, oh, a spot opened up. It's all virtual, by the way, I don't know why it would fill up, you know what I mean?
Wait?
So, yeah, it's true, I know. But you know, maybe she good sales tectic.
Maybe she is.
Making sure that her inbox doesn't get overloaded with questions from her current students.
That probably is what it was. Yeah, that could be it.
But yes, there was definitely an urgency like get it now, and then the price slash.
Did you buy it before the price slashed.
Yes, but when you go no, no, no, sorry, I bought it with.
The price slash, but it's like it was ever that much money? Exactly?
Yeah, because I don't know, I because I never saw that page. But once I had access to the page because she had to send you a special link because now I'm special. So then I clicked on the link and it's said, you know, like nine hundred dollars, and then it had a big line through it and it was like, now only one hundred and ninety nine dollars. What a deal?
Like I just saved seven hundred dollars.
Wow, I was on a wait list. I made it in and now I got the special link and the special links the price is slashed. So yeah.
That reminds me of infomercials growing up, when they're like call the next five minutes and you can get this for like four ninety nine, and then you go to the grocery store and they're selling that same thing for that same price. It's like just to get you to buy it right then, smart business.
Whenever I think of an infomercial, did you ever see that one way back in the day with that guy that had the nut chopper, and then he would be chopping the nuts and be late at night. My mom and I don't know what we'd be watching late at night, but he would always come on and it'd be like, oh, yeah, my mom loved to buy stuff like that.
This is your mom.
Yeah, and he'd be like, you're gonna love my nuts and even be chopping it.
And this is also a perfect example of how you learn things from your environment, and so you are a product of your environment. Right now, we don't have infomercials. We have TikTok scammers. Okay, do they call themselves things like face healer or ageous oracle or just do they call themselves any kind of like self proclaimed guru.
No, but she definitely says that other methods, like if you're doing it this way, you're doing it wrong. But then I've seen other people say this is how I do it. So, but she doesn't have like a special guru name. But does she have like what are her like credentials? I don't know. Okay, I just know what's in her Instagram bio and I don't know that that's even.
Well, so this is this goes to those I don't know if she's real.
Honestly, sometimes I'm like, is this AAI?
I think what gets a lot of people now is anybody can call themselves any kind of like hell balistic coach or this type of heal or this whatever, and it sounds really fancy, but it's also something they just made up, Like I could you could call yourself anything. I could call myself anything and it could sound really good, versus somebody who's really doing that's probably just like an esthetician, you know. Yeah, Okay. Are they constantly posting testimonials that sound a little too dramatic?
Yeah, I mean some of the results are pretty dramatic. So I feel like they either they cherry pick like this was a good success story someone to highlight this, or it's being photoshopped or something maybe I don't know, yeah.
Or it's AI the whole thing.
Well, no other people have joined because I see them. I think I have a.
Whole group of friends in my face fitness Facebook grouping. Okay. Are they avoiding transparency about what actually is involved?
No, like you have to, They're pretty transparent. However, I don't know how they have the time and the day, like what I has been required of me the last thirty days. We don't have this time.
I thought I was just seven, like seven minutes a day.
No, the lesson is thirty minutes ish, she said. She tries to keep the lessons at twenty, but they always go over. So let's just call it what it is. They're thirty then, but before you start the thirty minute you have to do a two minute lymphatic drainage exercise which opens up your limbs. And so that's two minutes. So now we're at thirty two. Then if you want good results, she highly recommends the bonus exercises after that.
And so I'm like, this is every day. I used to do this on top of you know, go on a walk in the forest with the trees.
Is that part of it now?
Like, that's just another thing that I like to do because I want to be with nature and I want to have that hit of dope.
Can you do your drainage while you're on your walk?
Yeah, but you want to do your drainage right before you do your face fitness?
Okay? Do they discourage you from doing other things that could help?
I haven't caught on to that yet. If she has, I don't. I don't think she said, like, don't do now she says, like, if you want to do washer, if you want to put the oil on, she goes, but I don't think you need any of that. But a lot of people are like, oh, I love the oil and the quasha. But she she's like, there's a time and a place for.
That, okay. And then are they trying to become like your go to person like for that? So it could be like your friend, it could be like your like mentor your are they trying to become something?
I mean, I guess sometimes when she says stuff like that of like, okay, if you want to do that, but you know, like that's not good. You need to do what I'm doing.
So and then I also want to add, this is online, but if you wanted to like meet this person in person.
I don't know where. I don't even know where in the world she is, Like where, like, yeah, where in the world does she reside? I think I saw something the other day on TikTok about Miami. But then you know, TikTok's weird, Like I couldn't figure out that video because I don't even think it was herd that posted it. You know, people repost other people's things, so I don't know.
Okay, so your test is done and I'm going to be honest. You might not be getting scammed.
WHOA, okay, Okay, well then I'm just getting scammed on time because I just completed the thirty days and we get an email this morning like congratulations, you completed the thirty days, and now for the next thirty days.
She wants you to sign up for someone else.
No, this is included. Oh, this is included a gift from her.
She's giving you a gift.
The gift is for the next thirty days. Repeat it the entire thing from day one to day three, because now your hands are stronger, you know the techniques, so you can do it better. And I'm like, wait a second, wait, I have to do it again.
Well, you're gonna have to do it for the rest of it.
There's my certificate. I just don't in my thirty days like I want to.
You should be going to teach it now.
Yeah, but she said, we won't graduate until we do it again. Oh and then maybe our body will be ready. And what I have learned. Let me tell you, kat Let me let me tell you a lot of our wrinkles and what we're dealing with or sagging things in the front part of our skull, which would be our face. That's what we see, right. We have the part we don't see, which is the back of our school where our school meets our neck, the top of our our neck,
our shoulders. We spend more time massaging our trapezes, our skylt like all these things that you don't see. We spend so much time. And that's why she said, your hands are stronger because some of the massages you really have to get in there, and like your biceps tired, and like your arms are up. We do all these, like other things in these stretches, and sometimes a thirty
minute workout we won't even have touched our face. And then I feel like that's a waste, but she says it's not, because everything is playing a part and we can see that. It's when we're relaxed back here, this falls into place. When we're tight here, this SAgs.
I could see that.
So I'm not getting scamped.
Well you're not.
You're on board.
I could be.
I will send you the thirty days for just.
One hundred dollars.
I'll give you a deal.
Ninety nine, I get a special link. Yes. Yes. I also think that you kind of reverse your answer on some of these things, like you said it she hasn't promised. Does it seem too good to be true? And then you said that she is making you do a double thirty days. Yeah, like she's making it seem like it's something that's not she wants it probably to be like oh, by.
This, I'm just saying the results sometimes seem too good to be true, like we're not looking at other people's results, like is this for real?
Yeah?
And then yeah, you could be true, like we know at the time, like, dude, what it is you're could be true? Nobody has time for this.
But also this is I think a key that I don't know if this is happening or not. When you are getting scammed, there's usually always like what's next, Like she's making you do this thing again, but it doesn't sound like she's charging any more money.
No, it's a gift, okay, but I feel like that means.
Here's a free gift, So then you'll buy this other.
Thing thirty days from now. It'll be like, remember that free gift I gave you?
You owe me? Yeah, And then you're gonna feel guilty. So that's one thing I would have people look out for. If there is always something else and it keeps going and you have you need them. If somebody's not a scammer, they're gonna teach you the thing and then they're gonna let you go be free on your own versus like I need you to stay with me and stay in my tribe CULTI vibes.
You know, if I pack my bags and move to wherever in the world.
The next step is in person, and I have to go meet her this plane ticket to I don't know where. You just show up.
Yeah, okay, I will say my shoulders are more relaxed and my posta is a little bit better, I feel like. But I will say this checklist is good for anybody that's you know, when you're following certain people on Instagram.
It could be just influencers that you follow and they're talking about a particular product, and now there's there's I mean, the spectrum is it's all over the place, but there is one particular girl I started to follow a couple of months ago, and I may unfollow because I've started to realize I get hooked every single time, because I think she's really good about that too good to be true hook, and she gets me and like one thing, she's into face fitness, and well, I guess probably a
lot of people that pop up in my account now are face fitness because the algorithm, that's all it feeds me. So I won't even pin this directly on her, but so many people are like, I canceled my plastic surgery appointment, which who knows what her plastic surgery appointment was. Was it for botox? Because you can get botox at the plastic surgeon's office. So I don't know if she's claiming she's about to go get a facelift or something, but she said that was her hook. It's like, oh, someone
canceled an appointment because of this. I'm going to pause and watch, and then you know, she does like a little temple massage here and like a nasal limn and then it's like, oh, that's all you do every day for three minutes, and you were able to cancel your your appointment at the doctor for whatever it is you wanted to change. But that's an example of one thing
that I've seen. And then they're good at in anything they're trying to pitch, whether it's that you learn a product or whatever, and some people just that's their gifts, like they are really really good at it.
Yeah. Yeah, and you just have to be aware. And I think it's a different if it is taking resources away from you that you actually don't have, that's one thing, Like this is kind of harmless. I mean besides the time, right, but if you like had to sell your house because you had to afford this face fitness score, of course, right, that you're being scammed and also you need some we need help you in other ways.
Okay, well I think you concluded I'm currently not getting scammed at the moment, so yeah, we can high five on that and then move on to core emotions and speak Core Emotions Part one. Yeah, that's a ang.
I love talking about feelings first of all, so I could do this all day long, but I wanted to start. I think we both wanted to start with feelings because we're going to be obviously it's feelings things. We're going to be talking about them all the time and relating things back and learning how to identify my own feelings and learning how to like sit in my own feelings has transformed I think my relationships in my life in general, because we're getting these gifts. So I like to describe
feelings as guides or tools. So they're not good or bad. They're not right or wrong. If once you see this list, you're gonna look at it and you're gonna say, Catherine, there's only one good one. They're all the same, They're all.
They are not good or bad. Yeah, they all have an offering.
They all have an offering, and they all have an impairment if you choose not to feel them. And the visual I like to give people is feelings are very similar to the lights on the dashboard of your car. So if you're driving down the road, and this resonates with me a lot because I get so frustrated and I feel so inconvenienced when a light pops up. So I'm driving down the road and maybe a check engine or my my change your oil light or something pops
up on my car. All that is doing is saying, hey, there's something that you need to go look at or check or pay attention to. So it's a tool, right, that is, it's a guide that's leading you to what your car needs. Yes, if you have to change my oil. Probably inconvenient. I might it might like I don't know,
if I'm on a road trip, set me back an hour. However, if I don't get that oil changed and my oil is gone, but con guess what, my car is going to blow up and I'm not going to ever get to where I'm going, which I have had my car stop in the middle of the road one time because I had no oil and it was so inconvenient, and it led me from I was in a rush and I wanted to get to my full day of work
and I don't want to be late for my clients. And then because I didn't just get my oil change when I should have, I actually missed that whole day of work. So you're going to be forced to pay attention to it one way or another. Feelings are the same way, So you have a feeling it's just signaling, Hey, there's something that you need to pay attention to, that you want to look at, that you just want to care for.
Could be inconvenient, but also if you pay attention to it, you might get something that you're missing or needing.
I think one thing to keep in mind too, is people that grew up in a really dysfunctional environment. They learned not to feel, and so there's a lot of us walking around not me. I just mean humans that don't even know how to feel. And I guess I say not me because I don't like to put my home as like dysfunctional. But everybody had their own dysfunction, and I do think that my parents were emotionally unavailable.
Dysfunctional doesn't always mean like right, like creative and bad. It's really honestly, we're all paying attention. There's dysfunction in every system, right.
And that's why I had to rewind and sort of stop myself because I'm like a lot of us walking around because dysfunction.
I'm like, not me.
But then I was like, shoot, I don't want to discount that. Yeah, there was some dysfunction in my home, and I, as a parent, have created some dysfunction for my kids. And it doesn't mean that you're a bad parent or my parents were bad. Now, some people grew up in environment where, yeah, you'd probably classify their their upbringing as like, oh that was really rough. I had loving parents. They loved the best that they could, but
they also were very shut down themselves. So that's something I'm trying to undo generational trauma, Like whatever they had from their parents, they were just doing the best that they could. And I'm trying to offer my kids all the space to feel and we want to feel all the things and ask all the questions and dive in. And I'm excited about doing this for people that maybe are like me in their forties where they're trying to figure some stuff out that they didn't have access to early on.
Yeah, I think it is important to note that when we are in our dysfunction, most of the time, it's coming from a good place. I'm doing what I know, I'm doing what i'm taught to, doing what I think is right, and specifically with feelings, because a lot of them are uncomfortable to feel. Steering somebody away from them
probably feels like sometimes the right thing to do. And then another thing to note is that because feelings signify a need, that's why a lot of us shut them down because I don't want to have to need something, Because sometimes we're taught that we don't need to be needy or we don't need to draw attention to ourselves, especially women, so we shut those down and we're like, oh, that's I'm okay, I'm fine, when really that's gonna come
out a different way. These feelings are also like energy, So if I'm going to shut it down, I have to put that energy somewhere in my body, and to do that, I'm gonna have to displace something else. So something's gonna come out, and then that energy is still down there, and eventually you're gonna have to get that out because you're gonna have something else to put there.
But it's gonna be way more of an inconvenience, sort of like when, yeah, you break down on the side of the road, if you addressed it early on.
Yes, yes, And I say all this too. I am a therapist who goes to therapy myself, and I'm not perfect at this stuff. So when I talk about this stuff or teach it, it's also reminders for me and anybody who's listening. I would just want you to give yourself a lot of grace because, as you'll hear in some of the stories we tell, I still get stuck in this stuff as well because of just the way our world is.
Yeah. Okay, we'll especially get into that when we talk about hurt.
Yeah, but we're.
Gonna start with feeling one, which is lonely.
Yes, and I do want to shout out these little worksheets that we made. So we made our own feeling wheel that specifically talks about these eight emotions. And these feelings are not the like I said in the beginning, the right feelings. They're just the ones that I use. And you look like here.
We are exhibit A. But these are something that people can have access to for a limited time.
If you sign up in the next thirty seconds.
There's a weight list to get these and we'll send you a special link and then you can download them.
Give us your bank account number.
No, no, really, we should do a little thing. I mean, we're not going to, but what if we did a thing where it's like, this was five hundred dollars and we put a red line through. We're like zero, Now it's zero dollars. All you have to do is sign up for a newsletter.
We really should do that. I feel like that'd be funny.
I feel like an inside joke. If people even made it to this point in the.
Podcast, they're like, what, who would buy that for five hundred dollars? Like literally no, right?
So, but really. If you sign up for our newsletter, you will get the Feelings wheel, the Gifts of feelings, which is another wheel chart situation, and then sort of this flow chart, which I think is great, which really breaks down the gifts that you'll get from each feeling, and then the impairment want the impairment and the need and the need, which is so helpful because prop to
get in this another time. But I was on a phone call with my boyfriend today and I don't know, I'm realizing I don't know how to express my needs well because part of it feels selfish.
Yeah.
Yeah, so that's all I'll say about that. So that's something I'm working on too. And Kat's expert, she's the therapist. But I love that you said I'm a therapist that also goes to therapy, because I'd like to say I'm a normal, everyday human that's not a therapist that also goes to therapy.
So we're the same. Yeah, we're the same.
We're the same.
And I will say with the need, that's like a jumping off point because sometimes that's not always the exact need. So I would take that as like a I would take it with a grain of salt. I guess where this could be it or it could be a version of this, but it does help you start thinking about what it is. I don't want people to get too stuck on that part, because sometimes I might be like, that doesn't fit. Okay, So do you want to just get into it?
Yeah, Lovely, we're feeling one.
So we're starting with lonely. That need is to be known, and so that can be a version of a lot of different things, like being known can mean different things to different people. I might just want my friend to see me. I might want maybe in a there was an event, or you know what, I'll just get into this. I feel like in the situation we had, I was feeling a little lonely because I wanted to be more
a part of the production that we were creating. And so I felt like you were over there and I was over here, and I just wanted you to know more about what I could offer.
Oh, and that was lonely for you. Yeah, And we'll get into more of the in the weeds of that when we talk about the feeling of hurt. When I think of lonely, I think of a time when we first adopted the kids or I was going through certain things in my marriage where I didn't have community around that because these were situations that I had never encountered before, and I kind of felt like I was the only one.
I didn't know there were groups of people that would meet and gather like I've yeah, I'm like, shoot, what if I said? What if I not said? Over the years, because it's not just my story, So there's things that I went through there involving other people, and it's it's their story too, So that's why I'm careful with details
and what I say and what I don't say. But what I can say about that is I spent a lot of time alone in my closet crying, and that was before I found community in what I was going through in both situations, so as an adopted mom and as a wife, there were things. And once I found community on the internet.
Okay, you weren't scammed there first or Facebook, and then I was like, oh, this is a group, and then you know that was a group where you had to get invited in, so I was all nervous, you got a special link I got in, but then once I got in, and then I did meet them in person, so I realized there was a group of moms that were gathering right here in Nashville where it was a very safe space and you could say anything and there
was no judgment. And then in my marriage, I found another group where I got to go meet and I'm like, oh, and that gave me tools to get through that.
When people saw you you felt like they're.
Different Vergine and heard like I was like, oh, I'm not alone. And then now I'm still involved in those things. But now when I was calling some of those women feeling lost and alone and like can you help me, It's like now periodically I get a text or an email or phone call from other people are like, Hey, my friend is going through this right now. Can I give her your number? Or can this you know? My
coworker's cousin is going through this, can you? I mean, that's how distant, that's how desperate sometimes people are to find people that understand what they're going through, because sometimes you just don't know anybody, and it takes reaching out and asking others, hey do you know anybody, and then they might be like, oh, yeah, my neighbors, cousin, sisters, father in law's stepdaughter is exactly who you can call,
let me reach out to her. And so now I'm on the receiving end of that, where I was the one seeking that out and people were there for me. I'm able to now be like, oh, hey, here's what we did. This is what I can say. Can't say for sure that it will work for you, but this is a starting point, and then hopefully they feel less alone. And so that was the part where I felt very lonely, and then once I found the community. But it took me being proactive.
Well, it took you acknowledging and allowing yourself to feel the feeling. So if you didn't allow yourself to feel lonely, that that impairment would lead you to be apathetic, it would lead you to have distance, you wouldn't have as close as relationships. I think that would even affect your relationships that you already had. I for sure keep pulling back because you would keep feeling like different or people didn't understand, or you just would want to keep shutting
yourself down. And the only way to do that is to not be face to face with what you don't have, and then by feeling the feeling didn't feel very good. I'm sure those moments in your closet were excruciating, but that led you to intimacy and connection, which I think a gift. That's the gift. Yeah, we want.
The gift intimacy and connection with a little butt on it.
Yeah.
Okay, okay, So are we good? Feeling one check?
Feeling one check? We could do a whole episode probably on each of these, but lonely specifically, we really could.
Especially since especially since I just say that already because in my brain I say that out loud twice. Maybe actually, especially.
Since now you said it.
Your CD's not skipping well since the pandemic loneliness has been an epidemic of SS.
Yes, and I'm.
Sure we could spend a lot of time on it, but we can move on to feeling too. We'll come back, which will be hurt, Yeah, which is where Cat's going to share out.
I hurt her. I felt hurt, but you didn't do it to me.
I didn't do it to you, and I didn't mean to. Yeah, I didn't even know I was doing it.
So I like to say that nobody can make you feel anything. That's right. So as the tailings one oh one right, and the reason I believe that is because the same thing could have happened to ten other people, and not everybody would have felt the same thing. It's what is happening in the world is hitting my story and my stuff, and then I feel something about it.
So not trying to invalidate what I was feeling, I'm just really trying to that's helpful when you confront somebody about it, or I'm not like you did this to me, it's I felt this so hurt. That need is a lot of times just simply attention, attention to whatever it is came up, and I'll share the story, but first
I'll share the impairment and the gift. So if you are unaware and you don't let yourself actually acknowledge hurt, which I think we do a lot because when we're our feelings are hurt, I feel like people make that sound like weak or you're being dramatic or get over it. You know, that's the whole like put yourself up by your bootstraps and like keep going, like oh, if it's not broken, keep going kind of thing. And so when
we're unaware, that really leads to resentment. And what I do most of the time is I become passive aggressive, or I like stonewall. People all cut people out without even realizing it. So we don't want that.
However, few no, we don't, especially since we just launch podcasts. We can't be having that, And then our friendship is more important to me than the podcast.
So there's yeah, yeah, And if you are aware, it leads to healing, which obviously feels good, and it helps build courage. So the more I can actually confront somebody about an experience I had, the more courage I have to do that, because it's it is hard, it's vulnerable. You don't know how somebody is going to respond.
And I feel like sometimes in a romantic relationship, when we decid to actually let someone in and share a feeling or what we are feeling, I think it's important to say I am feeling this way, not to your partner. A lot of times in relationship could be like, well, you made me feel this way, so I'm glad you clarified that that nobody can make you feel a certain way.
But there is this fear of if there's not healthy communication, that it's your feelings won't be valid, that it'll be met with you're being dramatic, yeah, or you're overreacting, which.
That can happen, And I get the one. There are people that you confront, there's people that you don't. If you know somebody is going to probably not be receptive and you've already been through this, then there's more of a boundary of Okay, I need to find healing, but that healing might not always come from the person that I felt the hurt way.
So do you think that that's the case even if you're in a romantic relationship with someone, Well, if you're in.
A romantic relationship with somebody, I would say, let's talk about it. And if they are not able to validate your feelings consistently over and over and over again, then maybe you are not in a healthy relationship and you want to evaluate do I want to still be in this?
I think there's some people we can't avoid, like a boss, or like my parents, or just somebody who's in your life that you for one reason oother you can't it's not that easy to end that relationship, So evaluate that because you don't want to then put yourself in a position where that's going to feel even worse or that's going to kind of dig deeper a story you already have in your head.
So that's that just the side note of healing doesn't have to come from the person that hurt you. Yeah, okay, And in our case, yeah, we were able to resolve it pretty quickly, which I think was a good thing to experience early on in this endeavor because it was related to episode one, this very episode, except for you're not listening to the original episode that we did because we already recorded an entire episode one and it is trashed.
It's actually literally in the cat's trash box on her computer. It's in the trash, which is for the better.
Yeah. Do you want to share what happened to it?
Well, so I okay, will you share your part?
I'll share my part.
So I woke up two days after we recorded it. So we recorded it because we were trying to get way ahead because you know, we have video.
Now of everything.
Shout out go to our Instagram at Feelings Things podcast. Yeah, we're only five years behind on that, but we're going to consistently have video. I've dabbled in that with Four Things a little bit, but this is just part of our our big girl pants now. And we filmed it recorded it, and with social stuff, we were trying to get way ahead of schedule, and so I woke up two days after we recorded it and I just had this feeling. It's almost like I woke up even the
middle of the night of like something was off. I didn't like the way we did it. I didn't like the vibe and like the energy. I know that it's okay if we have a knee and we're leaning more therapy. And in the first episode, I was very clear on that this wasn't a therapy podcast. In fact, it was in our original podcast description you know Kat's a therapist and is like, this isn't a therapy podcast. Like I
felt the need to say that Kat's a therapist. She had a podcast for years, a successful podcast that a lot of people love, called you Need Therapy. And then she's setting that aside to come join me, which was something you wanted to do too. But we're joining together, and here I am being like, this isn't a therapy podcast, just so that everybody knows, over and over, and I think you were sitting there thinking like, why does she
keep saying this so much? Like this is this is like a sort of a slap to my face and like, I'm a therapist and I have a lot to offer and I would like for this to lean therapy. Well I knew we may lean therapy, but some reviews or comments that I've seen about me over the last four years or so dms comments on my Instagram reviews of the podcast, like on iTunes, oh this is leaning way to therapy for me, or Amy's just to therapy. I
can't listen to her anymore. Means stuff which I've evolved. Yeah, and so yeah, maybe I am leaning that way because of things that I'm learning and that I find interesting and stuff I have going on in my life. I just want to share. Like I'm not claiming to be the expert or anything. It just can be maybe like come alongside other people that are going through things. And when I read that about me, I thought, well, shoot,
I don't want to be put in that box. So bringing you on as a therapist, I think I had this well like it wasn't awareness awareness of it, but maybe just somewhere my subconscious of like, oh, Cat's a therapist. So I need to make sure that people know this isn't going to be a therapy podcast because then they're going to say more bad things about me. So it
is my own fear. And so I woke up two days after we recorded, I'm like, why am I worried about what any meaning mine and have said on iTunes reviews about me and how I am as a person now. And if they can't listen, that's fine. If they don't want to listen, that's okay. There are other people that may want this type of content. So we are a therapy podcast, mental health minded. Kat give me that we are mental health minded. So we're mental health minded. Cat's
a therapist. I don't even need to reiterate over and over how we're not a therapy podcast, because who cares. We're just going to be what we are and see where it goes. And some episodes may lean more therapy, some episodes may not. And we've got our couch Talks episodes on Thursday where people are going to be writing in and it may be questions they might ask a therapist or a friend, which sometimes your conversations with a friend is like therapy. So I just woke up with
this feeling of we need to redo this. I feel bad that I made at that way and it's okay to have a niche, and our niche is this, screw anybody else who doesn't like it. So then I called you and I'm like, hey, this is what I'm thinking about this, and you were literally on your way to therapy, I know, to just like rip me a new one
with your therapist. And you're in the car and you're like, oh my gosh, I can't believe you called and you're saying all this right now, because you were like, I've been trying to process how I'm going to talk through this with my therapist so I can figure out what I need from this. Because you left that recording like what am I even doing here? But I didn't know you felt that way, and so I by saying over and over this isn't a therapy podcast. That was hurting you, and so I'm sorry for that.
Thank you. That's my perspective. Yeah, and well, I think most of what you said is what happens. So we recorded this episode. I kept hearing the it's not a therapy podcast over and over and over again, and I think I you didn't realize how much you were saying it, and I clocked it every single time. So I was really.
I actually was really fearful and anxious that day recording because I didn't know how to be, because I was worried if I, like I feel today, I can talk as much as I want or as little as I want. I can share whatever I want, I can add things. But I was trying to like stay inside these imaginary bounds that had been created because we weren't a therapy podcast. But I also was trying to and I talked to
this about with my therapists before too. I have to maintain some professional boundaries for myself as well, because I want people who either, if you are my client, I want you to be able to listen to this just like you could listen to you need therapy. And I want to be congruent with how I show up as a therapist and how I show up here because this is public, and so I didn't. I was like, I feel like a dud, Like I can't be fun and I can't be smart, or I can't be like I didn't know how to be.
So for that one comment, isn't that interesting me saying that over and over dimmed your light?
Yeah?
And that's the last thing I would want to do, is dim your light, but it was my own insecurity of worrying about whomever.
Well, I also heard a lot of stuff that you said, and I filtered a lot of stuff, Like when I was like going back and recounting the conversation, I think I exaggerated things that happened because I was hearing them through. This is not a therapy podcast. So whenever you would like stop me, I was like, oh my god, it did something wrong right, like I just I felt. So I got a lot of emotions, so it wasn't just as you can see, you're feeling multiple emotions at once,
not just one. So I was going to go to my therapist. Well, and the next day was your birthday, so I said, well, I'm not going to talk about it with her. And I also had this feeling that I didn't like that. I was like, does she think I'm stupid? Like does she not know? I felt like does she not respect me? And that all started coming up and I was like why is this bothering me so much? So I knew I needed to process it. I knew that I didn't want to talk about it
on your birthday. But after your birthday party, I came home and I said to Patrick, I said, Amy's such a good friend, and it's because I was seeing you in a different light too. It was like this was not about work, and I was like, she does like me and think this about me and think this about me? So what was going on in me that I saw everything she was saying and doing through this filter and through this lens. So I knew part of it was
my own stuff. But still the timing was so weird because I even walked into my therapist's office and I said, Okay, I don't really know what my angle is now today because I was going to talk about this, but now I need to talk about this, and honestly thinking about this today too when I was driving to work. That experience was very helpful. I think for our relationship there was healing, But also does this make me emotional? I think that it allowed me to open up a place
that I need healing in my own life too. And again, somebody hurt, they're being hurt doesn't mean you did anything wrong. It almost is like you showed me a spot that I need to go back and address because I realized that a lot of my life I have survived on being smart and that's what I offered, Like that's what I was versus I was other things, but that was like what I was like, Well, if I have this, I'm okay and I want I went back and I started talking about all the things that I wish I
would have done as a kid. I was like, and I want to do these things, and I want to do these things, and one of them was like an improv class, And I was like, Amy's been trying to get me to do an improv class, Like she's trying to heal this part of me and I don't even know it. So it was very cool for me to be able to take that experience, really sit with it, use it as a tool. What is it that I need? There are things that I need that I had no idea.
I was still feeling pain from that had nothing to do with you.
Yeah, when I think that, that's the beauty of the experience. That's the gift of allowing yourself to feel the emotion and also us feeling safe enough to come to each other and both want to hear what the other person
has to say. Like I called you and woke up with this epiphany and I shared it, and then you were able to finally say, especially because you didn't want to bring it up on my birthday, like Okay, well you're not gonna believe this, but I'm about to go into my therapist, and you were able to share with me exactly and I held space for that.
You were really good at listening, which.
If I wasn't in a healthy place, who knows, Like if I could have held space for that, if I had a different filter that then I was taking what you were saying through. And that's what I think can happen when there's big disconnects and relationships. It's like everyone has their filter and it's like nobody's feeling seen or heard, and it's like oh, And so I was very thankful that we were able to come to a resolution and
heal that in such a timely manner. And I think that was a gift for us, especially starting this out because it's episode one.
And it's a gift for everybody else too. That episode was not good.
It wasn't like like it was pretty terrible, like people probably unsubscribe. So I think we were both just not ourselves because I was too busy trying to fit a mold that I think listeners would want of me and then trying to force you into that when you're like, hello, yeah.
I'm kat I am like that's part of who I am.
Went to grad school.
Don't tell me, Buddy's not a therapy podcast.
Oh yeah, and we're over that. Yeah, Okay, this is so the whatever you need it to be podcast.
So well, yeah, but we do have a niche, but we have a niche feelings in therapy, but there's a there's so many gifts in that. I think that is. I'm glad that happened because of the things that I'm getting in my own life, the things that we're able to gain from each other, like we're learning about each other.
And that, Well, something else you said to me that stood out of like you're like, I'm also trying to figure out like I always have the need to be right, and you're you were able to say this is even an issue in my own marriage of like the I always have to be right. So I just wanted to so I was, yeah, I think your awareness and be like, okay, yes,
when you have awareness, it's it's so beautiful. It can suck because you're like I hate that I am this way and people have to put up with me being this way, but you can work on it, Yeah, when you can work on it. Yeah, I wasn't saying you.
You can work on this part of you because you're not always right Cat, I'm really not. And I am glad you said that because I forgot that was one of the things I was going to go in and talk about of I need to be better at knowing when I really am in the right and when I am being stubborn and when I'm just used to people listening to me. Because I work by my I work for myself, so I haven't had a boss since I was twenty six. So I'm in this new partnership and I'm like, dang it is it? Am I not good
at working with people? And I'm married to somebody who's very agreeable, So I want there to be space for his voice. And so this was another opportunity for me to say, for me to feel like, what does it feel like when I really do feel like this is something that has happened, And what does it feel like when I'm just being my egos taking over ego? Yeah, we all have it, even though we don't want it. We need it to survive. But yeah. I like to say self awareness really is knowing that there's so much
stuff that you don't know. Yes, So the more self awareness I have, the more I know that, like I need a lot of help, which we'll get to because that's part of another feeling.
And you can find all the help you need here because we're a therapy podcast.
Just kidding me, You've got from one side of the spectrum to the other.
Now I'm being yeah, I'm joking, being silly. We just are who we are, and you are a therapist. I'm trying to figure out here with what do you think on time? Because I feel like we've should we keep going through the other two or should we we stop with her and then pick back up, pick back up next week.
With yeah yeah fear.
Yeah, we'll do to at a time, maybe two or three maybe yeah, yeah, let's do that because we've got stories. Because with Fear, I feel like I have a whole story about my boyfriend. Okay, you can get into.
That cliffhanger and China next time for the story about her boyfriend's.
We call it tease.
That's what we call tea.
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Yeah, we view all the details, which really doesn't matter, but I want to share it because it does matter. Why do we say things that sometimes we don't mean? It does matter. I think it's important when you recognize a fear, because that's one if you set aside, you will miss out on life. You will miss out on something. It could be unexpectedly fabulous.
And fear doesn't. Well, we're getting into it. Fear does not mean stop all the time. Sometimes it doesn't. Times it doesn't. So let's get let's pause, pause, because I'm gonna get ahead of myself.
Okay, So fear coming up next Tuesday. It'll be tuned be one of our core feelings and then uh feeling for which we get into that next week with fear is a little weird to me.
It's glad.
I never really I know it's a core feeling glad, but I don't know that I spend too much time with the word glad. So I'm glad we are.
It is like dressful, old person word. I feel like it's like gladness feels like it's from the nineteen twenties or something, you know, like who says.
I'm glad, Well, I say it when I Oh, I'm glad about that, but I don't ever be like I feel glad.
Yeah, well, we'll get into.
It and I can't wait to feel more glad.
I will say with the feelings wheel, when you guys see it, which I don't know, did we say that we're sending it to them. If we did, say we weren't kidding about that. We really will send it to you.
You have to do a sign up with these letter.
There's no tricks, yeah, and we'll send you all those things. But you'll see that there's eight core and then outside of the core feelings, they're what I like to call shades of the feelings. So with glad, there's so many that's the wrong one, that's gifts. Oh, these are gifts, so that one. Yeah, yeah, feelings. So if you look at glad, there's different shades of gladness. So you could use different what are other words on there?
Uh for glad? Yeah, excited, encouraged, happy, content, satisfaction, optimistic. It's a different shade of yellow though, and then an even lighter shade of it would.
Be I didn't organize them in the shades though. Oh okay, yeah, so, and that's not all encompassing. Those are just other words you could use because sometimes it's hard to come up with the word, and it's helpful to look at that. But even with like anger and fear and all of those, sometimes anger and fear and those words feel too heavy. But that's why we have all these different shades of the It's still the same core root, right, but it might be a more palatable or more fitting word.
Okay, So I think since we spent some time on hurt, we can wrap up with that one because I think it's a good way to look at it, Like although, dang, you just flat out we're feeling hurt. Yeah, like you've watched straight to that core, but the lighter shade of green is offended. I was sorry.
Sometimes it's counting, Yeah.
All your hard work disappointed because you're like, wait, I just left this and I came and I'm doing this with you, and now I don't even know my role, which also could feel rejected, is under there. So then you're feeling rejected because I'm shutting up shocked because you're like what what? That's another one so under hurt. It's despair, shock, betrayed, rejected, offended, disappointed, pain and then you were having your own pain.
So yeah, so that those words might just be more helpful if the other ones don't.
Yeah, I love the feelings. We all you did a great job. You so good so feeling things with Amy and Kat we have our own wheel, we have our gifts of feelings and then the feelings the feeling flow chart, which I love like this. I'm going to use my everyday life things in my relationship things with my kids where there's four columns impairment, feeling, need, and gift, and I'm going to be referencing this all the time.
And I do have to shout this out because copyright. The majority of this comes from this Feelings flow chart comes from Chip Dods, the Voice of the Heart, and he also uses those same eight core feelings so it aligns really well. So I don't want anybody think that I created that, that I have adapted from other people's work.
Yeah, you noted it on the PDF. I don't want to get suit and it is downloaded when you sign up for newsletter and then you get these files. It said this chart was adapted from Chip Dods The Voice of the Heart, and then shout out Lindsay Gibson for her she has a adult children of emotionally immature parents. That is me.
I have the book in my back, that's me. That book's really good to just help understand why we don't feel the these feelings as easily as we want.
Yeah, this is good stuff. What I'm saying is you're gonna want to sign up for a newsletter because if anything, you're just gonna get this, and this is gonna be something you can reference or you know, you can hit up. You know. I'm sure Chip has it somewhere somewhere. But is this color coordinated?
That's pretty.
The colors are pretty because Cat color coordinated it. So yeah, I guess that's that's it. That's a wrap on episode one. I mean, we encourage y'all to, yeah, follow us on socials. Feeling Things podcast is the handle Feeling Things podcasts. There's other Feeling Things accounts where the podcast one and when you'll see my face in Cat's face, so it should be pretty clear. And then we want to hear from you for couch talks or anything else. Do you want to share couch Talks will be our Q and a
episode which will be every Thursday. So coming up in a couple of days, we'll have our very first couch talks and the email for that is Hey there at Feelingthings podcast dot com. Kat originally thought it was Hello.
But yeah, sorry, let's see. I also got locked out of our email for like three weeks. I was silently panicking. But we're in.
We're in, we are in. We're reading your emails. So Hey, there at Feeling Things at podcast dot com. Thank you for being here, and.
We hope you have the day you need to have. Boom bye