Handel on the News

You're listening to Bill Handle on demand from kf I AM six Forty's.

The first Grand Theft Auto.

Will you play a character that you go and have sex with a hooker You're not happy with what her sexual proclivities were, and you beat her up. You beat up a hooker who has not put out the way you wanted to put out.

That's Grand Theft Auto. Cono. You know this is that true.

Know about beating hookers? Cono, you're from the.

Ie and now handle on the news, ladies and gentlemen.

Here's Bill Handle.

KFI AM six forty morning. Everybody handle morning, crew. It is a Taco Tuesday. It is May the day after Sinco Tobaio the sixth.

And let us say hello to one and all.

Will Cole Strever will start with you, Will I like I kind of like that shirt. Yeah, you look like a sort of a lesbian who has come to work and just put her clothes on, you know, flannel shirt, you know, stout boots. You know it's not.

A flannel shirt. It's a button up short.

It looks thank you so much.

I don't think I've ever heard that before.

It looked like, ah, it looked you know, you know, there's the lesbian costume. You know, the flannel, you know the stout shoes. Uh, you know, the very short nails. There, there's a whole look there, I've just defended every gay woman in the world.

I unders direct your calls to bill handle dot com. Yeah I know.

Uh yeah, well that happens to not be my email, and it never ever will be given out. I don't think I even have an email at KFI do I kneel? And do I have an email? I think it's just at Bill Handle show. And I think you read them all right, yes, okay, good one.

No one gets you help, but it presses delete all pretty much.

Yeah. Do we actually do you actually respond to any of them coming in?

No?

Okay, excellent, good morning Anne, Hello, and then Neil, good morning.

Good morning, Willie Wolf. You know I respond to some of the talkbacks sometimes.

Oh do you Yeah, okay.

If there's a question or something I can help with, I try to.

Inevitably, it's the same question, is he really a dick? And you always say yes.

I put about twelve calls on and then I just go and turn them all on at the same time and say he's sorry, and then hang.

Out do you know?

I asked Anne what the other day legitimately, and I said, you know, people do hate me around the building and she said.

Oh yeah.

And then I asked what the percentages are? Did you say, like fifty percent of the people who genuinely hate me around the building.

I think it's higher than that.

Yeah, do you think so high?

Yeah?

Okay, Wow, that's fantastic, Heather.

You don't know me well enough yet to hate me, do you?

No?

But I don't think I would anyway.

Oh yeah, he was on the fence.

Yeah.

Hey, I want to point something out before we get started with today. And of course there's tons of news and that is as as everyone knows. Neil has been helping me. First of all, talk about my new Big Green Egg because I went cooking. He has it and uses it all the time. It's this barbecue kind of thing.

Uh, it's what do they call it? A Komodo cooker like you cook Komota.

Dragons dragon exactly? Yeah, whatever the hell that kind of cooker is.

But it's the Big Green Egg.

Loving him learn all these times.

And so I tried the brisket first one a couple of days ago. The brisket it turned out to be a hockey pucket. It should be tender, tender, And then Neil said, try something easier, chicken.

So you know what I did yesterday, Neil?

What's that?

I went to Costco and bought a five dollar chicken and it was one of the best things. That's the best deal and it's one of the most delicious chickens I've ever had.

Did you cook? Did you cooked it yourself? Oh?

God, no, I just bought chicken. Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's fantastic.

Oh, you're going to do great.

So next time, what you do is you take it out of the plastic, you put it on the grill, you take a picture so you can post it on social media, and then you take it off and you eat it.

Oh it's a good idea. It's a good idea.

You will go.

How did he get that rotisseriy chicken on his big green egg?

Yes, that doesn't have a rotisseri So I am.

Making a chicken salad today. I can't wait now.

And we're about to start our our contest for you, you five of you plus a guest to join us, and I think it's June seventh, and we'll tell you how to do it June seven. Are getting very excited about that because we are giving away an evening at the Anaheim White House with all of us, and it's going to be pretty terrific stuff. I know, if you've never been to Anaheim White House, you're in for a huge treat as far as the food is concerned. And it'll be all of us there, Heather, They're not you,

Thank you.

All right, I like to change my answer from the top of the show if I can.

I thought, you see I'm working on each other.

Yeah, no, because you know will Is, we used to have people in airplanes and we don't anymore.

Well we actually we do, but that's it's a different model.

So Will Is now in the studio pretending he is in a plane.

Yes, moves his hand around.

And pretends he's in an airplane like you do with a two year role, and you're trying to feed him with a spoon.

We do pa that sounder that that makes it sound like there's some kind of helicopter.

Yeah, we should do or be honest and say Will Coleschreiber Kfi on the ground.

We can do that too.

There it is right there.

Yeah, that's the flying.

Yeah, I have flown many times on this show, but that has a lot to do with what I've ingested that morning. Okay, I think we're ready to go, don't you. Yeah, yes, let's do it.

By the way, Heather, as far as June seventh, I wasn't kidding.

Okay, thank you.

Let's let's do it.

Guys, it's time for handle on the news with Heather.

Who you probably won't be seeing June seventh.

Never get you know, Heather, Because I'm doing so much of it, I now am shamed into inviting you.

You know, well I'm not coming because I'm good. Thank goodness, you're off the hook.

Than It's like the you know I've told you about my elevator philosophy of life. Will you haven't heard it?

Have you?

And Heather?

You haven't heard of my elevator philosophy of life. Here it is, You're in an elevator. Someone is running as the doors are closing, is running to get on the elevator. You go, oh oh, and you start punching the panel, not the button, the panel so the doors continue to close or you punch the close button.

And here's what happens. Number one, no one gets in the.

Elevator to screw up your ride up to grab a floor before you want to get up there, and you get the credit for trying to open the door.

It's a win win. If they don't get on, they think you're helping them. It doesn't get better.

Okay, great analogy.

Okay, here it is. I'll let's do it, guys.

Time for handle on the news on this Taco Tuesday with Heather Brooker, Neil and Me lead Starry Fire. Yeah, there's some doings at the LA Fire Department, the union that represents the firefighters. The president, Freddie Escobar, has been suspended. Why because he's accused of spending two hundred and sixty five thousand dollars without receipts. Now at this point, is the accusation that he put that money in his pocket? I don't think so, but let me say the accusation

Is what the accusation is.

And then the former Treasurer Domingo Albaton also accused of spending hundreds of thousands of dollars without sharing receipts.

So big doings.

So they just do it dive investigation with Latin forensics.

You know, it could be that he just didn't have proper receipts. You know, the money was not.

Two hundred and fifty thousand, two hundred and sixty five thousand, maybe it was one purchase.

Yeah, it just says there's not proper documentation, doesn't say he did anything nefarious.

That's correct, all right.

The Trump administration announces yesterday they're going to be paying a thousand bucks for illegal immigrants who want to self undocumented immigrants who want to self deport. DHS Secretary Christy Noam says self deportation is quote the safest way to leave.

So I'm going to do this more at seven o'clock and how this program works and why it theoretically and it maybe save money and people. And the only issue is what kind of food do they get on the airplane?

All right?

That's how are they getting reimbursed?

Like?

How are we are? We just like the people who are how are they getting paid when they go on the app? Do they enter like their bank information and the government just like.

They get paid in cash. I don't think they im yuessing And I don't know the answer to that.

What else could they do?

They're being deported, they're leaving, they don't have uh, they have bank accounts.

But if we don't make good on it, we don't pay them, are they going to come back? Like there's no recourse for them if we don't pay them.

There probably isn't a recourse for them. But the optics it would not be terrific. Yeah, it all in vouchers for drinks on the baby.

Yeah it could be all right, let's move on.

Los Angeles County has declared a community wide outbreak of hepatitis A yay yeah hey el ay el, a very highly contagious viral disease cause problems with liver even death. And unfortunately this is not hitting the people you think it would. We have such a high homeless contingent here in LA that those are usually the folks that hit this. But now we're getting people who haven't traveled recently, who aren't homeless or use illicit drugs, which are common factors,

Yeah, how contagious as hepatitis A without transference of blood and stuff, I mean, just breathing in the same room.

I can't imagine.

It's very I can't either, I have to ask Jim.

At this point, it says it can be contracted by unknowingly ingesting contaminated food and drink and it you know, so if somebody has equal matter on their hands or a cut or anything like that at your you know, not to be too gross early in the morning, but it can be very contagious.

Is that part of your stand up routine?

By the ones? And then I got.

That's hilarious.

Good for you as a guy with the drum that goes good times, Good times. Ice House Saturday night. We'll see you there, all right. Trump's trade war with Canada. It's kind of, you know, kind of blowing up in his face, that's what they're saying. Anyway, Prime Minister Canadian Prime Minister Mark Carney is going to be visiting the

Yeah, the President said, we don't need Canada, as you know, so they're going to suffer more than we are.

And well, I mean, we may not need care Canada.

Unfortunately, thirty percent of all of our lumber used in the country is from Canada. You have steel, you have aluminum, you have energy, particularly the Northeast.

It's it's a hit. I mean, there's no question. For Canada it's a hit.

But for the United States it is being downplayed that it's not going to be that big a deal.

For us. Just wait, you'll see it's.

Going to be a big trade wars or a big deal across the board.

Everybody suffers three forty nine billion dollars now we got from Canada.

That's a lot of maple syrup. All right.

A seventy year old fella drove through Jennifer Anderson's closed fence, causing a big scare to the celebrity and our security team as they all the security guards rushed held the man prone until police arrived. This was in a bel air home, no reason. They think that it might have been an attempted burglary, but they haven't really given a whole lot of information. It's possible that the guy's love life was doa It could be.

And you know, she has a reputation for uh, very good. She has a reputation for living very moderately, you know that. So when they did the story, I first thought that somehow they mistook her house for a hotel and.

Nope, that was her house. There it is.

It got through the first level of motes and yeah, you know full not just a security guard, a secure team.

The friends money, Oh yeah, it's astronomical.

Imagine so well, even the.

Last few years.

The last few years, it was a million dollar an episode for each of them. And how many episodes did they do? Twenty two episodes each per season, So there's twenty two million dollars per year. Yeah, yeah, yeah, And well it depends on whether they own syndication rights or not or part of the syndication.

And I guess is yeah, they probably.

Did million and partly Andiston gets twenty million annually right now for syndication, just syndication.

Frienends, not on their movies or anything.

Handle you should do a sitcom called No Friends.

That's very good. That's actually very good. Okay, that may be line de jure, that could be not bad.

That's young all right. So Israel launched an airstrike in Yemen last night, just one day after a hooty attack on Tel Aviv over the weekend. The group fired a ballistic missile in the area of Ben Garyon airport. And they're ramping up their attacks over there, just ahead of Trump's visits. So some getting a little getting even more dangerous, more scary over there.

You know, I don't know why anybody goes up against Israel. So they shoot a ballistic missile, it lands on airport grounds, doesn't hit the runway or any buildings or anything. And Israel was unable to shoot it down. And now what happens, Well, Israel comes back and hits dozens of who they targets, buildings, camps, killing a bunch of people. You know, Okay, go up against Israel. Hey, Hamas did a great job, didn't that. Boy were they clever? And what they did? October seventh,

Neil, don't fly into Newark, man, what a mess. Tons of delays, but some scary stuff. So air traffic controllers lost communication with aircraft at Newark Liberty International Airport in New Jersey. Hundreds of delays for more than a week, and some of them are making special government leave for traumatic situations to recover from stress. So you've got like a complete breakdown. They couldn't see here or talk to

So yeah, that's a big story.

I'm doing that at seven to twenty because there's a lot of spins on this one, one of them being a new national holiday Don't Talk to the Planes day. But that was only out maybe thirty seconds or a minute, But that in itself.

Seconds or a minute when it comes to airtime.

With people with people with the planes landing and taking off.

Yeah, that's a little bit. That is a little bit. That's a little bit tough.

All right. So jockey Junior Alvarado is facing fines for excessive use of the whip in the Kentucky Derby. Apparently you cannot use the crop more than six times, and he used it at least seven times, so he is facing some fines there.

You know, I know people that would look at the story in a whole different way with a whips.

I kind of feel like you were going to go there, and then I'm like, nah, okay, he went there. Yeah, I went there, set up a tent and all of that. President Trump still Monday, you.

Know, one strike, you know it's and he said, you know I wasn't paying attention. Yeah, I mean, this is the Kentucky Derby. I'm ahead of everybody. And he's accused of one whipping too much, one use of the whip too many from six to seven, and he's going to get nailed ten percent of his earnings. And he picked up thirty one thousand, and so that would be he would pay thirty one thousand out of the three hundred and ten thousand dollars.

That's not a bad dollar.

For winning the Kentucky Derby. Yeah, but it's also pretty rarefied air.

But also you would think that he's you know, because he's a professional. You would know you'd be in control and know how do you would think?

So, Yeah, that's the exact thought I had, Heather, was your a professional?

That's what you do? Yeah?

Now did with a horse naing and basically in horse language asking for more.

It doesn't say in this article. I'll look into that, all right.

President Trump said yesterday he had nothing to do with that depiction of him as the pope that was shared on the White House social media. I don't know about that, he said, I had nothing to do with it. And it's funny because you got to love the way he looks at things. He said, hey, come on, Because people were asking the media's asking him about, you know, the cath Licks and all that stuff, and he said they

Yeah, that's the thing that's fun The Catholics loved that, you know. In reality is I think it was more of a joke than anything else. And do I think he posted it, Who the hell knows. But it's almost like, well, the Catholics loved it, like Mormons loved the Book of Mormon. Uh they which which uh, the the play, the musical.

Excellent, by the way, the Book of Mormon.

Yeah, it's it's absolutely spectacular and it's it is good. And Mormons, all the Mormons that I've ever talked to, really do like it because it is funny. Uh, it is not done with any malice whatsoever.

Yeah, Yeah, it's just wonderful. Trump.

You know, he's looked at a little bit differently among various groups. And the funny I'll tell you what was funny, not so much that was put up. You know, I think it was more of a joke even with him. It's the Catholics loved it. And if you see what's happening in Italy and around the world. The reaction is just insane.

If you look at social media.

Yeah people are upset. Yeah, well it's me. Secretary of Defense Pete Hegseth has ordered significant cuts through the highest ranks of the US military. He signed a memo that was well, it basically says he must reduce the number of four star generals and admirals by at least twenty percent. So he is they're cutting back over there.

Oh yeah, they're cleaning it up. I mean they're sweeping it up, not necessarily cleaning it up. And the DEI and the story goes beyond that, and that is that you have minorities, A disproportionate number of women have been fired. The chief of staff is have was fired who happens to be African American. And there is obviously an allegation of racism involved. And here is I think why I

And that's the tough one.

And it was one of those situations where I once went to a very high end doctor and I remember what I had some It was a heart thing, and I went to a cardiologist who happened to be African American, and we just started talking. I always asked, where'd you go to medical school? I always ask the doctors, and I say, do you speak Spanish when you were in medical school in Guadalajara. I do that as a matter

All right, well, Trump is in the news again. Trump administration unveiled news steps to target federal funding to have it university. They announced with yesterday they're cutting off all new federal research grants.

Big move from.

The administration, their latest effort to demand political policy changes from the elite university. This is a major clash going on there, they say, and they being The Education Secretary of Linda McMahon, says that Harvard is in consistent violations of its own legal duties in every way. She said, Harvard has failed to abide by its legal obligations. It's ethical and fiduciary duties, it's transparency responsibilities, and any semblance of academic rigor.

So now that gets interesting because I don't know what that means any of that. It's pretty vague, and I guess according to the Trump administration, it's one of those will decide what academic rigor is, and if you don't make it on our level, we're cutting off all the funding.

Harvard is not backing down.

And the two big issues, I mean, this is all crap ola, but the two big issues DEI programs and the other one anti semitism, allowing anti semitism on campus and allowing professors to basically propound anti semitism and so Harvard is saying, Nope, you're not going to tell us what to do. In terms of funding, they're saying the government saying, no funding, no money. And Harvard gets a fortune ten times more than almost any other school in terms of grants, and so Harvard is just won't back down.

So what's the DEI stuff? Is that a federal law now that you can't do that and are no, No, Well, you know what you can't do is discriminate. And what the administration is.

Saying, by definition DEI is discriminating effectively against white people. That if you are pushing programs that give women, minorities, gay people, any kind of preference, which de programs do, by definition, the administration is saying, this is racistem We're not going to let it happen. The rest of it is kind of crap ol. You're not meeting rigorous standards. Really, Harvard not meeting rigorous academic standards.

Give me a break. It's it's all that. And they're suing. I mean, Harvard is suing.

They're saying, you're discriminating against us because the administration not only once the DEI program has disappear, but also once all of its academic uh uh, it's uh uh, it's what sort of I'm looking for requirements overseen by the government. The government is saying. The administration is saying, we want you to report to us and we will tell you what's appropriate and what's not.

Harvard's saying, not a chance, no way.

What did the Department of Education do if not look at the curriculum of schools?

Because I don't think the Department of Education can look.

At the curriculum of schools.

What do they do the launch program?

Not really they do in federal they do in federal programs. But these are you know, these are medical grants. These are research grants. And the Department of Education, as long as it's around, is saying we don't like you with the DEI programs. You don't let's let us oversee your educational process.

We're gonna cut off medical.

Research grants which have nothing to do with what is going on in the teaching area. All right, guys, we are done Feenne and coming up.

You don't go back.

You don't want Heather to do storyline? I know I was.

Waiting for it. This is the banger at the end of the show. We need to kick her.

Now go ahead, all right, go ahead, all.

Right, listen. I know you're all excited. Rihanna is having another baby. And she made the reveal and made the announcement last night at the met Gala in New York. She was dressed in a Mark Jacob's pinstripe and revealed her baby bumps. So congratulations to Rihanna.

Thank you. Jeez. I feel better.

Hey, and let's change the show and do every segment until the end of the show on Rihanna. On Rihanna revealing her third pregnancy, I think it's that big a deal.

Okay, good, I've got some more information. It was a Trump cleansing of the palette. Yeah, there you go.

Thank you.

I love it.

All right, we're done, guys, now we're done. This is KFI AM sixty. You've been listening to The Bill Handle Show. Catch My Show Monday through Friday six am to nine am, and anytime on demand on the iHeartRadio app.