Handel on the News

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Right.

Oh god, the thought of a stuffed dead dog that you loved walking around via a remote control is beyond, I mean beyond delicious. And now handle on the news, ladies and gentlemen. Here's Bill Handle. Good morning everybody, Friday, December thirteenth, Friday the thirteenth, and we're going to talk a little bit about that throughout the show. Yes, and

He was not loved or hugged as a child.

I was of glass I was. No, it has to be mirror sharks. I was. I was hugged too hard as a child. My father was arrested for that because it went beyond hugging.

In any case, you know, someone left a message, some young lady left a message on the talk back yesterday that she hated me because I was mean to you.

And I'm like, uh yeah. I asked Anne yesterday in her travails and her meeting people, how many people actually think I'm as big a dick as I as I come off? Yeah? Pretty much everyone.

You're actually very generous and kind. Now filtered, you just are unfiltered. You kind of says, old, it's it's all.

No, it's not just unfiltered. I mean there's a deep seated hatred of you and the world around me and me. You know, I'm a basically your self loathing jew. You know, it's just that simple.

You are the seven year old boy with the big forehead that walks up to people and go you're fat.

Yeah, And can I describe this morning what we talked about the Christmas tree? Is that inappropriate?

It?

How we?

Anne asked me, Uh, do I have a Christmas tree coming up? And now that yeah, I did. Yeah. Now I'm with a shiksa goddess of love here. Well not particularly, but it's visually very strong. So yeah, I got a Christmas tree and we're doing a honka thing also, so uh sort of hit both. And what I want to do is, instead of a little angel on top of the tree, is to uh put a crucifix uh of you know, doing the you know, Jesus being crucified, and then a little model of the juice selling nails right

I can't hear you over the popping crackling of the fire.

That's what I said.

He's going to burn. He's going to n.

Okay, all right, anyway, enough of me, Enough of me to talking about how great I am. All Right, this self aggrandizing.

You are going to be burning, and it's going to be so loud in hell that Jesus is going to stomp on the floor and go keep it down down there. Oh, that's allowed you will be all right?

Fair enough, all right, let me say good morning to everybody, because it's a Friday, the thirteenth. We're going to have great fun we do on Friday first Cono. Good morning. Hey God, everybody's wearing like shirts that have written things on them. I can't see what that says.

Just an astros and give to me an astros.

Okay, and Amy, you're that's so funny? Amy you're wearing is right? What go ahead?

Amy? Yeah?

I'm wearing a Disney hoodie that Anne gave me for Christmas last year.

So the both one of my Christmas gifts. Why are there trying to remind me? This is what I got last year?

What am I getting this year?

Maybe that's it?

And Neil has got all of you and got Neil that too. Jeez.

This is a shirt that Ann had nothing to do with because I wasn't on the show last year. This spirit Halloween shirt.

Oh okay. And Anne, you're just wearing your normal green thing that you wear.

Oh no, she's wearing the bra I got her.

Oh okay, excellent.

A it's a a sweater?

Yeah?

What is it?

Why is it a thing you ever seen? You know they do. I'm thinking of doing bras for conjoined Jews so they can wear to you know, to a synagogue and they're together with the brass yamaka. It's never mind, it's a visual too. I have no idea where you're going.

I totally visualized that. I'm sorry, but I understand Bill. After thirty years conjoined Jews wearing a bra as yamakas. That's actually funny. Oh thank you. I think that's what threw the curveball.

Okay, one other thing I have to before we start the news, and I sent this to ConA. I'm going to play it for you. Justin Wersham, who was our kono. A couple of years ago or three years ago, is there was a news story about one of those stools that you sit on in the shower, and it was well, it had to do with a man who was sitting on one of those and had some real physical problems because there were holes in the stools too, I guess

Jordi Sad Norway bought one of these stools that you put in the shower. These plans take stools from Ikia and if you look at a picture of the stools, it has fairly large holes around the stool on top. Well, what ended up happening is one of his testicular parts got stuck in one of the holes when the hot water caused the ball to expand.

Yeah, to address that, they released a PSA.

I found it on the internet.

If you guys want to hear it.

Sure would like to encourage caution and using the Marias stool aka meatball calendar. If used in the shower, it is possible for one or more of your meatballs to descend through the hole.

Extra caution if you have an extra sad sack of meatballs like Bill handle you Aikia caring for your meatballs since nineteen forty three.

I lost Oh my god, I al Calander.

Yeah, I absolutely lost it. This was We've done some fun stuff on this show.

He's a very funny man.

Yeah, Justin is a very funny guy. Okay, so you know what, we have a fair amount of news to pick up on this Friday, and.

You would such the last.

Yeah, we wouldn't know that for ten minutes. What the hell, It's Friday. So let's have a rip roaring good time. All right, let's do it. Time for Handle on the News with Amy Neil and me. Lead story. Well, the Franklin fire is still going on, but it's all relatively good news. Containment now reaches thirty thirty percent, only four thousand acres, but it's Malibu and Malibu has a history of fires and the homes are all a trillion dollars.

Did you mention it was his birthday? No?

I didn't. I asked him how much, you know, I asked him how much he got when he was doing the Dick Van Dyke show, what he was being paid? She did, of course, I did seven hundred and fifty bucks a week. He just told you, flat out, flat out. I always asked that was probably a lot of money back then, Well it was. I sent a million dollars an episode.

Like the Friends stars.

Yeah, but in those days, the stars of shows had no power whatsoever. They were straight out employees. I wonder what had no say in anything?

What was a season back then? Now it's like twenty.

A season back then was twenty. But this was only his first year, and then of course it went out blah blah because it was just a brand new show, and people got nothing for brand new shows. It was I think twenty two, twenty four. No, I think it was thirty something episodes per season.

Wow.

Yeah, it was crazy. Amy.

Amazon is, as Bill would say, taking a knee for Trump or kissing the ring.

Yep.

Amazon's planning to donate a million dollars to President elect Trump's inauguration. Jeff Bezos, the founder, is expected to visit with Trump in person in the next few days. Meta confirmed on Wednesday that it had donated a million dollars to the inaugural fund, just two weeks after CEO Mark Zuckerberg met with Trump privately at mar A Lago.

Yeah, that's you're businessmen.

Yeah, they have to. And by the way, it's not just kissing the ring and bending the knee. It's also getting it where the sun don't shine.

Listen, it's business. It is business.

Remember when Trump was first running and everybody was like, you donated to the Democrats, and he goes, I'm a businessman, right right, It's true because I donated to everybody, and the people that.

He hated he ripped into. As long as they say I now believe in Trump, he believes in them.

You know, the minute someone is a Republican and then becomes an independent, the news always refers to them as former Republican. No one ever refers to Trump as former Democrat, and he was a Democrat for a long time.

That's right, he was a registered Democrat in the seventies. That's correct.

It's I don't know, yeah, it just is what it is, all right. Over draft fees, we all hate them, and this is one of the things that I like that the Biden administration is doing. The Consumer Financial Protection Bureau has finalized this rule. It's going to curb excessive overdraft fees. So they're going to make it like five bucks, cap it at five bucks rather than the thirty five dollars that is typical. And they say this is a potential saving savings to customers as much as five billion dollars.

YEP. I find it kind of interesting interesting that it's happening right now at the end of a Biden administration and through an Obama administration of eight years that Biden was Vice president, and you go really the last month of the Biden administration, you've got the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau, which by the way, is controlled by the Federal by the Feds the executive Branch, but it has been it is absolutely a shanda, a shame to the biggest level

Let the resignations begin the first. First of all, we had the FBI director announced that he is going to step down, and now the head of the FAA has also announced he is going to resign before President elect Trump takes office. The head of the FAA has been under a lot of taking a lot of heat since Boeing blew a panel off. And then also they are working with antiquated equipment. They have a shortage of air traffic controllers, while you know, consumer demand is very high.

I don't know how political is this going to be. Is this one of those positions where it's going to go to a loyalist And I don't know because usually in this case, for example, Whittaker has a long history of aviation and administration, has been the field most of his life. So I don't know. Are we going to get a loyalist who's an entire credentials are that he was once on an airplane and therefore he's head of the FAA.

Now he likes making paper airplanes.

I'm not no accusations here, mind you, but this is one of those things where you know, I don't think that in many cases, President Trump really cares. I think he's going to leave it up to the experts on this one. If he does name someone, I'm just guessing here.

Have we heard any rumblings like we had heard he wanted to replace the FBI director?

But no, no, no, this came out of the blue. So maybe the guy just doesn't like that came out of the wild, blue yonder.

Okay, Yeah, there's some people. If they were going to come and be my boss, I'd probably tap out. Yeah, I'm gone, all.

Right, I can yeah, I can agree that. Okay, shut up, all right.

The family of Hannah Kobayashi, a strange story, recently found safe after being reported missing in Los Angeles last month. The family is doing the right thing. They're offering a refund of those who donated to an online fundraiser during the search. They got up to so over eight hundred donors raised more than forty seven.

Hey, and I have a question. You are that's true? How much does go fundme take percentage wise? Good?

Quick?

Any idea and I'll tell you why I asked that.

Because you might be able to pay the fees too.

That's what I'm talking about. Do they refund the fees that go fundme takes when money goes in?

It's a two point nine percent? How much two point nine percent plus thirty cents per donation?

Okay? So are they thirty cents? Okay? So three percent? That's that's not the end of the world. That's fifteen hundred dollars.

But and then thirty cents times two.

Hundred and forty bucks, right, Yeah, I mean it's not the end of the world. But you know, good for them for coming to the table on that one.

As you say, a weird story.

Hey, and now that.

We know she's okay, we can say that. Every time I hear this story, I think of Star Trek. Why why the Kobayashi marud the test that nobody could fit, that nobody could beat and Kirk beat it. Oh, it was at all of the Star Trek movies.

Wow, I had no idea you were that much of a Star Trek nerd. That's great.

Beat me on that one. Yeah, I already think of hot dog eating contests.

Also very strong. Yeah, and hot dog eating contest won by a guy who weighs one hundred and thirty pounds soaking wet.

Yeah, so I guess that overshadowed. But that's a good pull, Amy, Well, good for you. All right, this is depressing.

More than two hundred and thirty three thousand bottles of an antidepressant have been recalled by public health officials. The US Food and Drug Administration classified capsules of deloxetine, sold by Rising Pharmaceuticals is a Class two risk, the risk level in the FBA FDA's second most severe level, as they say it could temporarily or medically reversible adverse health consequences.

Yeah, risk of cancer with an antidepressants. First time I heard that. So if you take this and you get cancer, you really don't care.

Like, oh me, oh my, what about who else? Let's see handle your on antidepressants?

Oh yeah, heavy ones, any heavy else? Lamictol? I take it? Oh cono on antidepressants.

Wow, all the guys. Oh yeah, and don't to us.

I remember my kids were in school and Barbara needed she was she needed some help in that regard, and we're going to go to school and tell her. And Marjorie said, we can't tell the school. I oh, you have to tell the school. Yeah, but it'll be in the file that you know. It's horrible. She has antidepressants. We can't let them know. I go, you have to

She went to the doctor. The doctor said, well, maybe a new dad might help.

Yeah. Well even the doctor was on antidepressants. Okay, let's move on.

Take some of mine, all right, Stanley the Big Cup Craze, their mugs are everywhere. Now this is a particular one of their particular styles. D only issue a recall a two point six million of these popular drink wears switchback and trigger action stainless steel travel mugs. So they've got

You gets don't play hockey if you have a Stanley Is that not Stanley cup?

Oh?

Come on, it was a stretch, A stretch I'm allowed. They can't all work. Matter of fact, very few of them work.

Some of them work, very few, occasionally.

Beefing up the bennies. The Senate is pushing to vote on legislation that would provide full social security benefits to millions of people, setting up potential passage in the final days of the lame Duck Congress. So it's called the Social Security Fairness Act, and it would eliminate policies that limit social Security payouts to about two point eight million people.

Yeah, there are certain parts of social Security that sort of miss. It's really complicated stuff. And so this one they're going ahead and I just I guess plugging the hole. And they've been asked about this a lot of people in the millions that have been pushing for this for a very long time because they're screwed. You asked them out of Social Security benefits. By the way, that of course adds to the trillions of dollars of deficit that we're going to have.

All Right, Canada says, you're a boot to feel my wrath. Canada could retaliate against President elect Donald Trump, who is threatening tariffs, and they say we're going to shut down energy flows to the United States. So now you're looking at what's that New York State, Wisconsin.

The whole Northeast gets most of his power from Canada. If this thing, if these tariffs tariffs go through, there's gonna be retaliatory tariffs and we're going to be in a full scale trade war. And if you don't think that's going to affect our prices.

Are we just going to annex them? I'm just going to say, Okay, there's a lot of people that would love to be members of the big states of the United States.

You got people in Newfoundland which are called New Fees Labrador, which that's those guys are all well, you can say they're never mind. I was going to do another one of those that you were going to ask A bad joke. Yeah, yeah, another bad joke. But the point is it's going to be a full scale trade war if President elect Trump goes ahead and pops in those those terrorists, which you can't I mean, he can wake up in the morning, goes I think we're gonna throw thirty percent tariff on

It's a negotiating tast Yeah.

And we'll see, we'll see. I certainly Biden doesn't do this.

Like your tariffed. You you're tariffed, all right, let's go ahead.

And you know, I can't even say Biden anymore as any kind of relevancy when it comes to US policy because there's just not a lot of relevancy at all. I don't know how much. There has been very status.

Uck what there has never been a lamer duck, well said, Well said till the.

Evil Empires stepping up its attacks. Russia launched a new widespread attack on Ukraine's energy infrastructure overnight. The country has implemented emergency power outages. They don't know exactly how much damage has been done yesterday, but they're asking people to stay in shelters. Streets in the capital city of Kiev remained largely empty this morning, as Ukraine's air force warned of the threat of ballistic and cruise missiles that could be targeting parts of the country any day now.

If Russia wins the war, it'll be because of this taking out the power infrastructure of Ukraine, because they'll basically be lighting all of Ukraine with either torches or campfires. It's just battery.

What's the reality bill of Russia taking over Ukraine as it pertains to the US Russia.

If Russia wins, it won't be Ukraine, all of Ukraine. It'll simply be the eastern part of Ukraine, which Putin said has always been part of Russia. And it was for many years back and forth. It's the don Bass area of Ukraine, and that's the way it's going to go.

Why is that strategic for them?

Because it's not a question so much a strategic First of all, it's another buffer against NATO if that part becomes Russia. But more importantly, Putin thinks and believes in his heart and soul, and we're going back to the time when he was a KGB officer, right, and he went into the KGB and he entered politics or entered service that he truly believes Ukraine is part of Russia. It's the heart of Russia actually where Russia actually started back in the Middle Ages.

Why didnt care about it?

Why do we care about it? Because again, the buffer and the philosophy, if he's willing to take that, does he then take poland does he then take uh other?

Get it?

That's it, that's the fear. That's the fear. And Ukraine is a democracy and Russia is not, and it's just another superpower coming in and just grabbing land. It's akin to what happened in World War Two nineteen thirty eight with Hitler taking over Czechoslovakia, where the Western power. Just let him take it here, just go ahead and take it. And look what happened. And they're comparing their comparing Putin to to Hitler, and it's and Putin wants a greater Russia.

No, I get I get it, and that's what I thought. I just don't know why there's so much push pushbacks, pushback from people here in the United States.

Because it is a democracy, and at some point you stand up for it. Now a lot of people say it's not worth it, But who knows.

If he's bigger and badder, it would be it'd be a problem.

Yeah, that's and that's the fear. There's going to be a problem.

All right. So surprising, this is news. More than one hundred million dollars in marijuana weighing ninety thousand pounds was seized from San Bernardino County. Con No, you're from the county, not the city. You're out there in San burdu.

This is the county. I don't think it's okay wherever the hell that is?

No, that's not a topic like a home pass. Oh is it the first thy right there?

How did they figure one hundred million dollars worth? Because ninety thousand pounds is a wholesale h if they if they figured it out, well, this was valued. If they valued it at at per joint, at an individual joint price, it's probably in the billions and billions of dollars. If you have ninety thousand pounds of the stuff and you're selling it a joint at a time, you know at what level of distribution? I don't know, but anything.

Watching Kono do the math, Yeah.

I'm doing the math.

A lot of pounds sells it a joint? They don't.

It's only it's only eleven hundred eleven dollars per pound? Then did I do the math backwards?

That is, so eleven hundred dollars a pound pot goes for a lot more than that a pound. It depends on that, I guess, depends on the quality. I don't even know. It's been so long since I smoke pot.

That's a bargain basement.

Yeah, I guess it's I guess it's wholesale. I guess it's wholesale. Wholesale at the distribution level, cutting out the middleman.

There were three thousand trash bags filled with weed stack twelve feet high in the building.

Yeah that's a lot. Okay.

California is cracking down on not only marijuana but also people parking. It's called the daylighting Law. It's been in effect for a while, but they've been issuing warnings, but starting on January first, they're going to stop issuing warnings and start issuing tickets to vehicle owners caught breaking the law. It's anyone who parks within twenty feet of any crosswalk or fifteen feet of a crosswalk that has extended curbs.

This is it's one of those things where you're pulling out and there's a car parked so close to you you can't see it, especially if it's a big SUV pulling out of a driveway right and you look and there's the car blocking the view and you don't see cars coming, So the chances of you getting t boned are pretty high. You ever noticed that as you pull out of a driveway and you can't see I mean, you're scared and you go, yeah, that you do it inch by inch?

What that's what this has to do with.

No, No, this is even worse because this is for a crosswalks where people can't see. I mean, frankly, I'm not much of a pedestrians. So if someone you know, is hit and flies forty feet in the air, but if I'm pulling out of a driveway and I can't see something, they have to change that. It's the law. They have to change that.

I was actually in your car with you one day when you drove over someone. We're at some event. You drove over someone's foot.

Oh I do remember that. Yeah, yeah, and I remember I pointed the finger at you, screaming he did it, he did it?

And I said, I'm.

I think, by the way, that's a true story. I did actually run over someone. They weren't hurt or anything, but still I don't know if I actually ran over that person's foot, but certainly it looked like part of the tire built it. Bump thump. Yeah, all right, guys, we're done. This is KFI A M sixty. You've been listening to the Bill Handle show. Catch My show Monday through Friday, six am to nine am. And anytime on demand on the iHeartRadio app.