Handel on the News

You're listening to a wake up call on demand from KFI AM six fortys.

I first spoke on a microphone nineteen eighty five. So what is that? Is that thirty seven years? I'm sorry? Is it thirty nine years now? Nineteen eighty five? To oh, yeah, yeah, thirty nine years? Good God. I think I'm gonna go in the other room and collapse. You know, I'm gonna take a break and change my diaper.

Okay, and now handle on the news, ladies and gentlemen.

Here's Bill handle. Okay. It is a Thursday morning, almost into the week, August eighth, and we've got well, first of all, I want to say hello. Let's start with Neil. Good morning, Neil, Neil, Neil. Oh, Neil's not here today, all right, Neil's at Disneyland, and he's probably how many rides? Ay, you're a Disneyland person considering, so how many rides can you actually get?

Depending on how good you are planning, you can get a good ten or twelve minutes?

Oh come on, yeah, ten or twelve.

There's so much more to do.

And see that's true, that's true. You know I went to Disneyland within a couple of years after it opened. Did I tell you the story of Disneyland and Marjorie No, Okay, Disneyland opened up in nineteen fifty five, and you know, Marjorie's one hundred and fifty years old, so they would and it's an amazing story, the Wonderful World of disney It was originally the Disneyland Show, and it was ABC.

I love it, Yeah.

And we try to get We tried to get the archives of that commercial. And in those days they didn't keep much. They had the kinescopes, which is the process they use for broadcasting. Uh, and it just it in terms of keeping in terms of keeping records, in other words, that we go on TV and a film camera would actually film that commercial on television and that's how they recorded and kept archives. And so in any case, so we're still looking for that commercial.

That would be fun to have it wouldn't Somebody's got it.

And here we are, I don't know how many years later, and every time Marjorie goes to Disneyland and sees the hippopotamus. She grabs a leg of who's ever seen.

That's okay, I do the same thing.

Yeah, you know what, I lost my clock here on my computer. I can't. I can't believe I do that.

You know, how do you lose the clock?

Because it's on the computer and I press buttons and I tried to get the newspapers and the zoom at the same time, and every time I press anything ive nine, Yeah, thanks, I'll figure it out.

No, it's not it's six nine.

Yeah, I know, you know. I lost it again. I can't believe I lost it. I'm not going to press a damn thing all right while I'm looking. Hello Cono, Hello Bill, okay, hello what I'm trying to find the clock and I just I can't do it.

Maybe she could just get you a digital clock that's not on.

I'm looking, but the digital clocks are so big. Oh no, I just lost you guys. Come on, Oh like, come on, guys, for god's sake, where's digital clock? I don't jeez, I don't see it. So you're you know you're gonna until I figure it out. Let me take my watch up.

Well, we can hear you. That's all we really need.

Yeah know when I can see you. But the three things that I desperately need is I need Obviously I have to see you. I need my clock. Those are the two things. And then my newspapers because I read the newspapers, which I did not this morning. I have the New York Times, the LA Times, of Wall Street journals. So by the end of the show, I'm done with them. So I have some idea of what the world's about.

You know who has bigger problems than you? Who Taylor Swift?

Oh yeah, we're going to talk about Taylor Swift's. I mean end of the world stuff too is here. You know, World War three is about to explode. We know that the Eastern Seaboard is about to go underwater, and you know, get thousands of people that are drowned. But that's nothing compared to the Taylor Swift. Uh. The Taylor Swift concerts, three of them that have to uh that have been

Crying suicide.

No, it's it's it's beyond loving her. It's well into mental illness. I mean there is. Yeah, but the Beatles fan were teenage girls. If you remember that, and that was it, you know. I mean I was a big Beatles fan. But you know, was I going to kill myself? No? No, although I have to tell you if it's a question between a Beatles fan, a Beatles show, and a Costco burrito, it's pretty close. Okay, Oh there it is. Clock.

Hold on, hold on, Hold on, ladies and gentlemen, we're back in business.

Okay, clock, okay, hold on clock almost as I'll do it now. It's a timer in five minutes. Damn. Okay, let's move on.

Stuck in space, NASA officials say that the two astronauts who took a ride on the Boeing Star Line are up to the International Space Station and we're supposed to be there for a month. Well they've been there for like two months now because they got up there on June sixth, and now NASA is saying they might not be able to return until February of twenty twenty five.

That's if they have to catch a ride on a SpaceX crew.

Direct, you're gonna have to actually get an elon musk ride. Boy, that's not embarrassing for either NASA and more importantly, that's not embarrassing for Boeing. I'll tell you what. They're scared to death. Those astronauts get on the board that spacecraft start going back to Earth and the door blows off, and NASA is saying, ain't gonna happen on our watch. So thank you to Boweing.

Yeah, yeah, back off Arrowhead. So Arrowhead or the company has been pulling water out of the San Bernardino Mountains since nineteen o six. There are springs up in the mountains and Arrowheads been bottling that water and selling it.

Well. Now the federal government is saying.

And they've decided not to renew a permit the US for a service is denied Blue Tritons permit to extract water after environmental activists claim that the removal of the water is harming wildlife.

Now look at this, what a business model this is. Can you imagine any manufacturing or service provider where you pay nothing for the base product. Let's say your auto company, your manufacturing cars, you pay nothing for the metal or the electronics, or the steering wheel or the wheels. This is arrowhead. They pay nothing for the water, or virtually nothing. I can't even imagine how much they don't pay to the FEDS for the water. And so the natural spring water,

But think how high their water bills must be.

You know what, don't know how expensive water is when they sell it to you in a bottle for three bucks a bottle.

All right, another day, another attack on Metro. A man has been arrested after he allegedly attacked a woman at a Metro station in Pasadena. Happened on the A Lines Allen station about five forty yesterday yesterday morning. According to witnesses, the guy punched the woman, knocked her to the ground, dragged her onto the dirt, kicked her onto the tracks, and then dragged her out onto the two ten freeway and then he ran off.

And now they've arrested him.

Okay. You know what we have to do amy is sort of change the way we approach news, and that is, I think, at a given time every day, you do the today's metro attack report, and you simply do the report as to how many people were attacked on metro and what happened and if anybody died. Good news is no one died today, And it's uh, every day. When's the last time we didn't do a.

Metro attack yesterday? Although the attack happened yesterday.

Okay, so we missed the timing. Okay, but it was a metro attack yesterday, and it's early. It's only six twenty two or six twenty three, where I think it's what six twenty one. We're on this minute delay business. In case I say something wrong and you say something.

Wrong, Oh, don't look me into that.

It's the broadcasting a little inside baseball. I thought i'd share with everything. I share everything with everybody.

I know.

I've gotten such grief from management over the years, saying you have to share everything. I go, Yeah, of course I do. Well if people are if they deign to listen, and they're kind enough to listen, all right, you know what I'll share what's going on? Okay, let's continue on.

Okay, wait, there's more speaking of Metro.

Oh yeah, so down in Long Beach then or over in Long Beach, a man has been shot by police. This happened near Fifth Street and Pacific Avenue at the Metro station, and witnesses say a man was walking near the station and was seen taking a gun out of his backpack and putting it in his waistband. Officers confronted him. There was some sort of confrontation there, and then police shot him.

This is actually good news for the police department because they can shut down their firing ranges for practice and just send their the practice teams to the Metro and here you go, and you're going to get some really good practice. It's pretty crazy. It really is the same. Would anybody go on Metro? I mean I would not

I didn't realize it had always been that.

Way, like, oh, yeah, no, it's from day one.

There was an issue with that dare up in the Bay Area, the Bay Area Rapid Transit system that was really really nice when it opened, Like my mom used to drop us off and we'd go and ride the bar all day like because that's what it was clean and it was fast and it was fun.

And well, if you fly into Oakland, you fly into SFO San Francisco International or which is way south of the city, or you can go to Oakland across the Bay and it's the same ride. And flying into Oakland is a lot cheaper, always has been than into San Francisco. And then you would get on the Metro and the problem is when you got on the Metro station which was about a mile away from the airport or a mile and a half. You had to get on a bus and then you had to get off the bus

Yeah.

So, speaking of the death part, would you want to know if you are going to die? No, Well, the family of a French explorer who died in that submersible implosion, remember it was going down to see the Titanic and it imploded. The family has filed a more than fifty million dollar lawsuit saying the crew experienced terror and mental anguish before the disaster, and accused the subs operator of gross negligence.

Yeah, now that's interesting. The lawsuit for wrongful death may work or not work, but this is emotional distress that they're also really suing for, and I think it's quite a lawsuit. The lawsuit says the crew may well have heard fiber the carbon fiber's crackling noise grow more intense as the water pressure pressed on the titan's hole. They could have heard it. Okay, not necessarily hurt it, but they could have. And I get those questions all the time on handle on the law. I could have been

Ain't gonna fly, Okay, Debbie's not done yet.

Tropical Storm Debbie has made its second landfall in the US.

It happened early this morning.

This time it came on to shore in South Carolina with fifty mile an hour winds, torrential rains spawning tornadoes, and they're expecting some pretty severe flooding and it's crawling along in about five miles per hour.

It was a.

Category one hurricane on Monday when I first came ashore in Florida. It's lost some power since then, but it's dumped more than a foot of rain over parts of Florida, Georgia, and South Carolina.

It's killed at least five people.

Yeah, it's a bad one. It's about well. We knew it was going to be a bad one, and we didn't know early on where it was going to go, because originally I thought maybe it was going to go into the Gulf Midway, where we could have said, Debbie does Dallas, and unfortunately we are not a I would have loved for that to have happened.

It was looking good for a while.

Then the Dow dipped again, So the Dow Jones Industrial Average was trading up is more than four hundred points yesterday, looking like we were going to have another day of rallying after that one thousand point loss on Tuesday or on Monday actually, but nope, it fell, so it ended up down two hundred and thirty four points yesterday.

So it looks like we are right there on the precipice of the recession, or at least the y mcdownturn sore. The happening. We don't know, and then we kind of saying we're gonna have a soft landing, which we have not had. I mean, this economy has been roaring.

Uh.

And this also means if there's this much of a slow down, if the stocks drop dramatically and stay there, even though it's there in the stock market is insanely high, it's still up for the year.

It's still up over thirty nine thousand.

I know. It's I mean, it's nuts, it really is. And then we'll see ah an interest rate drop by the Feds, probably September when the next meet or in an emergency they can do it immediately, but that's not going to happen.

So it was a year ago today that Lahina was almost wiped completely off the map.

Remember the flames, oh yeah.

Started on Maui and just tore through Lahina and basically destroyed this small historic town.

But researchers are saying.

That they are optim mystic because the reefs, coral reefs, are recovering from the impacts of the wildfire.

And that big tree is it a banyon tree?

What's the yes, the big it is it's a Banyan tree in the middle of town or the middle of the historic here.

It's growing and it's beautiful.

Yeah, Lahina started in the eighteen hundreds as a whaling town and the history of it it's incredible and a lot of those buildings that date back to those days. I mean, you talk about history, it's absolutely great. Anybody read James Mitchener's Hawaii, which is a phenomenal book, all thousand pages of it, and it is based Lahaina is a huge part of it. Also, I don't know if you ever been to Molokai, the leper colony. Oh, that's a lot of fun going there.

You can are there still?

Yeah, yeah, there's still there are still lepers there. Yeah, yeah there or last I went, I don't know if they stay. If you stay there, you know, the lepers who stay there, you sort of have to have leprosy is it's paid for all paid for by the government. The government gives them a stipend and it's they're supported one hundred percent by the government. But you have to live there. And today leprosy is completely controlled. You know,

Okay, let's see the war rages on in Ukraine. Russian forces are battling Ukrainian troops for a third day after they smashed through the Russian border in the Kursk region. So it was one of the biggest Ukrainian attacks on Russia in the two year war. About a thousand Ukrainian troops rammed through the Russian border early on the morning of August sixth, with tanks and armored vehicles and covered by swarms of drones and artillery from this from the sky.

Yeah, Vladimir Putin calls it a major provocation, as if the attack on Ukraine was not a major provocation. Right.

I just think it's amazing how they spin these things and things that we're going to believe it.

It's absolutely crazy and it's and I'll tell you what I sort of didn't understand and why Putin didn't do this. Usually when a country attacks a neighboring country, much like what the Nazis did and other countries, it's because they're there to liberate the people in that country, because they're under the In this case, it would be the Ukrainian government is treating the Russians on the eastern part of Ukraine, that is with the border with Russia and treating him.

Amy, Costco's cracking down on membership moochers.

So you've probably seen it. You may have even tried it us talking about to me or to the audience, to the audience.

Using somebody else's card to get into Costco. Okay, well, Costco's cracking down on that. So they're doing it in a kinder, gentler way. But instead of like calling you out for it, they're just having you scan the Costco card before you go into the store.

Yeah, today, yesterday, It's exactly what happened to me. Exactly. They put it in a couple of days ago. And there's the scanning and you put your card up and it scans. Although there are people right there at this point, standing membership people, and as you walk in, they point to the scanner and go here, scan here, as if you're a special needs customer. Yeah, I know what a scanner looks like, Thank you very much, but they still

Easy, easy, psy yep.

So much for athletes treating their bodies as temples. An Australian Olympic hockey field player or Olympic field hockey player, has been arrested for buying cocaine in Paris. He's been taken into custody then released, and he put out a statement and said I would like to apologize for what has occurred. I made a terrible mistake and take full responsibility.

Yeah, he made a mistake. Of the good news is he did it in Paris and not in Russia. So yeah, I wonder if he would do, you know, having, you know, having dabbled in the world of cocaine just before I went into drug rehab years ago, I would guess he would do better on coke, nice buzzy high.

Okay, Okay, just saying Zell's under investigation. Apparently there's some problems with all this money going back and forth, and so the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau is investigating major US banks for how they're handling customer funds on the so called peer to peer payment platform called Zell.

YEP.

It involves JP, Morgan, Chase, Bank of America, and Wells Farga.

And at seven o'clock top of the hour, I'm doing this story because there is a lot here and a lot of people use Zel, including me. I use Zel, I do too.

I haven't heard it. I've never had any fraud.

But now, before you do it, have you noticed that now the screen pops up and you're supposed to like say, yes, I read all these warnings.

Yes, it lets you do it.

Yeah. And you have to be pretty dumb to get scammed. I mean, you know, there are a couple of rules that you follow, and they're not that hard to follow, and the chances of you get he scammed or minuscule. But it's the numbers of the amount of money that's transferred on Zell is so enormous that even a tiny little fraction is a very big, big, big number. And that's coming up the top of the hour.

The Wild and Crazy Guy doesn't want to be Tim Walls. So Lourene Michaels from Saturday Night Live apparently called Steve Martin and said, Hey, Steve, do you want to impersonate Tim Walls? Who is the new vice presidential Canada or will be when it's official. And Steve Martin said, nah, thanks, but no thanks, he said, he said he turned it down because he's not an impressionist, and he said he

And he doesn't look like him particularly, he's lot thinner. It's just because he wears glasses and he has white hair, and I guess that's Tim Wallas occasionally does that. But I think you're going to well, I hold that back. If Donald Trump gets elected, you are going to see Alec Baldwin coming back as Donald Trump on SNL. However, my guess is he won't. They will not bring him back for fear that he would shoot one of the camera people.

Okay, moving on to happier things. The governor has pronounced or proclaimed that today is California Panda Day. Because the giant pandas are making their public debut at the San Diego Zoo today.

Love it, that's sweet.

It is sweet.

They haven't been here for a while. These are the first it's the first new set of pandas to come to the US in twenty one years. Remember we had like a little tiff with China and they said, okay, give us our pandacea.

Well, yeah, they're on loan. China does not give pandas to anybody. They loan them, They actually lease them. And these what mu gu Guy panda is one of them. And then if there are orange pandas. By the way, did you know that, actually they're called the orange chicken pandas, but no, they really are orange pandas. Now people will wait five hours in line to go see the pandas.

Oh yeah, the lines are gonna be I mean.

They're going to be enormous. And I would never wait five hours. Now, I'm gonna give you a little hint. And I know, you know I'm being obnoxious here, I'm you know, being self arrandizing. If you ever go to the Beijing Zoo, if you ever ever have a chance to go to China, you want to go to the panda exhibit because there they have hot and cold running pandas. There are pandas all over the place. They roll around.

You'd never get sick of it.

And I wanted you to know that. I was like, is there really an orange chicken panda?

So I look a no, look orange pandas.

There are orange pandas. There's not orange chicken pandas.

Well, well, they know they nose e chickens. So it's fair to.

Say that when I googled it, I got Panda Express and orange chicken Pop.

Well, okay, that's some orange. The orange pandas don't eat bamboo, okay.

But the pandas here eat like forty pounds of bamboo a day.

Yeah.

And the zeo says they've got eight different varieties, so the pandas will have different bamboos to choose from.

It's like choosing from column A collum b or you go to panda, you go to PF chains and you can choose on the menu. It's a there's a there's a thing there. This is KF. I am six forty live everywhere on the iHeartRadio app. You've been listening to the Bill Handle Show. Catch My Show Monday through Friday, six am to nine am, and anytime on demand on the iHeartRadio app.