Today, we're talking about fear, what it is, how and why it manifests its disguises, and what to do about it. I believe that if each person had less stress and fear in their lives, our world would be more harmonious. That's certainly true for me. To me, fear is definitely a stress and a source of what could be wrong in our world called what does not feel good and causes myself and others to be mean, and unkind. I know when I'm fearful, my body gets stressed and
I react. My emotions are off kilter, and I don't communicate well. I don't make great choices, and I don't behave or act in a way that produces the results I seek or want. And frankly, it makes others not feel good. Fears start manifesting in our minds and bodies, when we first figure out we are out of alignment with who we are, with our needs, or are dealing with what we think is an unresolvable problem, are dealing with pain or are
acknowledged or coddled. When we were young, and then had pain, and we don't know how to navigate that pain, when we're young and we carry that forward, as an adult, we don't know how to deal or process with that pain and fear. And frankly, when we're out of alignment, when our needs are not getting met, when we're dealing with problems that just don't align, with who we are and what we need, fear starts manifesting in the mind and then translates,
into the body. When we first feel out of alignment or, m there's an unresolvable problem. Fear shows up in many, many different disguises. They can be blocks. They can be a trigger that results in an emotional, or a reaction that we're not fully aware of as to why. Or it also can show up in that situation. When you're stuck, you don't know how to move forward, you don't see a path, there's confusion, and it just doesn't feel good. Like, we don't know what to do or say or feel in that moment.
Could also happen when we're triggered based on a past based experience. We made a decision or choice never to have that in our lives again. And then we see or experience something that's, similar. It feels like, looks like, tastes like. Oh, snap. limiting beliefs. Ah, get created in that space of. That memory of pain or, experiences that don't align with our higher good. It also shows up when we have a lack of forward movement. so it can have a really strong false hold
on us. And I think, for me, I think it's rooted in the mind where memory gets planted and then, the memory recall happens. And then my brain takes it, tries to process it, analyze it, and then starts to work to protect me from experiencing that again. And so what happens for me is my reaction and response to it, is so stressful, it becomes damaging to my body and the health of my mind and my well being.
I see this in my clients time and time again, and I love and feel very honored to be a resource to them to help, process fear when it shows up in a logical, calming way. Before you ask, yes, I also have coaches that I work with when it shows up to process really quickly. But I also have other tools, to, help you, with recognizing fear when it shows up and, understanding a way to process it in a more rational, less reactive
way. I do think that, in my life, all the talk or solutions or books, things that I've read, studies, psychology, et cetera, about fear really has not been helpful to me, or for my clients in day to day living, when fear shows up. Now, I'm not talking about the type of fear, of our safety. Walking to the parking deck, to your car, for example, and it's a dark night and you're hearing weird noises and you're uncomfortable. That's not the type of fear I'm talking about.
The brain and our minds and our bodies are very well equipped if we listen to pay attention to those signals, and to respond accordingly to restore safety. fear is very real. I mean, I don't prescribe to the whole false evidence appearing real thing. I think it's a very real thing for people when
they're going through it. It can be really debilitating and extremely difficult to navigate because anxiety sets in, and we just get confused and stuck and can't see a path out, and all we want to do is get out. Right. So what I feel has helped me is unpacking fear to its core with each situation. and I do that through my quiz. Now, just to clarify, I'm not talking about, fears that are so debilitating that, they are causing us to be stuck for extended periods of
time. I'm talking about fears that create disruptions in a day or during a week, the ones that have such a stronghold on us, that are longer in duration, that, are stuck with us for a long time and, that we can't transcend those aren't the types I'm talking about. I'm talking about that temporary sense of fear that results in a reaction or a limiting, belief or self protection mode. So I want to start with
what this word means. And it really, fear is defined as a strong emotion caused by great worry about something dangerous, painful, or unknown that is happening or might happen. That really struck me when I looked at the definition or this particular definition of fear. And what really stuck out for me is the fear of the unknown, of something that might happen. And for me, just this
week, fear gave me a nice visit. It was a professional related experience where I got triggered dealing with a personality style that I've had trouble with in the past and could not create a different experience with that type style. And I didn't get my needs met and did not in the moment, seeing them getting met. So it got triggered just this
week. And this definition of fear around something unknown that might happen again really struck home for me because this situation that happened, it was a personality style conflict and communication style conflict. I immediately had a memory of past based experiences with this style, and I had collapsed or think that I'm never going to be able to work with that style or be with that style, which isn't true, right? But we collapse that based on the memory. So,
we give fear a lot of power. A lot of power. And I know I did, too. So that memory got triggered, and then my brain went into this cycle of not being able to sleep, overanalyzing it, trying to process it, but really trying to get my emotions back into balance so I could see clearly. And thankfully, I had the tools that I also give to my clients to do that. And then I needed to allow myself several days to process it
all. The first tool is the be stress free superpower quiz, which you can take@drdar.com. Drdar.com. And that quiz is, knowledge that I've gained through Dr. William Glasser's work on choice theory and reality therapy. And that gave me my knowledge about what I call a superpower and my kryptonite. For those of you who don't know what kryptonite is, kryptonite hails from the superhero world and is the one thing that makes Superman weak and, quite frankly, unable to function in a Superman way.
So I know my superpower, and I know my kryptonite as I go about my life. And I am very diligent about aligning myself and my life and everything in it with my superpower so when fear shows up for me, my kryptonite shows up, too. And it's not a good feeling to go through. And honestly, it's not really nice for others to experience it either. But because I know my kryptonite and I have this tool, I know what to do to get through it. I highly recommend this quiz because I use it in, my
life on a daily basis. And it's a wonderful way to be aware of fears, limiting beliefs and what's not working in your life. But it's so much more than that as well. I just want to focus on fear today because that's what we're talking about. So it really gives you the knowing of what to do to restore your superpower when fear shows up. Fear
is also a stronghold on the status quo. You know, that fear, of the uncertain, of something that might happen, the might happen part creates the space for us to choose the status quo, choose where we are now. Staying in a situation that is, we know is not ultimately great for us, and being stuck and not having our dreams realized and fulfilled. Fear is also something that can hinder relationships with people, money,
and more. It can also manifest as belief systems that don't serve your highest good or your desires that we hold on to for dear life. And I've had an opportunity this week to really take a look at this, ah, particular fear, and it's really about fear of not having freedom in my life, in a particular aspect of my life. And I'm really looking at those belief systems right now. The result of the fear is we go into self protect and self preservation mode when fear shows up, which results
in closing our hearts and minds. I know that happened for me, and I was able to communicate that. I just needed time to see if I could shift. Our memory kicks in, like I said before, and when we experience something or someone again that looks like, feels like, is like, that experience is exactly the same as our experience, as what our minds say, and then we react or respond by saying, no, not going to
do that again, or react in other ways. And I know my mind goes into protect mode, and I can feel my body closing and my heart closing. My brain, with my design, is here to really process information and data and to receive information from my body and surroundings. And the other magical, really magical power of my brain and mind is to leverage it to create a life I love, that loves me back through the power of my thoughts. And this week, again, I went into fear mode, and my thoughts
weren't serving me. And I really needed to work through and unpack everything that had happened. moment by moment, my feeling associated with it and where that originated from. It didn't take long once I allowed the emotion to pass through. And it's really, got triggered by me, my mind making up that I no longer have freedom, that I can't talk freely, that I can't, be myself, et cetera, in a specific professional based relationship.
So you see how we can get really shut down and it can affect our functions, it can affect our livelihood, it can affect, our work life, it can affect, I mean, just add in a lot more stress and a lot more worry. I think we also get comfortable with what we know and what is known, even if it's not healthy, does not feel good, or is not aligned with our highest good or desires. We get comfortable with those beliefs, attitudes, thoughts, feelings and past pain. So our minds and egos then take
on protecting us from those experiencing. Says, just in case it happens again and we know to walk away or we choose to stay in it if we're already in it at the time. As I said before, it results in closing hearts and not allowing love to be present or be loved, or even to be loving in our worlds. That truly is a false protection, and I definitely experienced that this week. Hearts and love need no
protection. When fear takes over, though, we forget about our hearts and our love, and we've given all that power back to our minds rather than our heart. It's really pretty spectacular that this situation happened this week when I knew I was going to be talking about fear this week.
So when I and you consciously give power to our hearts, then our wisdom, our inner wisdom and awareness will inform us when to pay attention, when to say no, when to stay, when to go, and so much more through your superpower and your knowing, your kryptonite. The awareness is so amazing. And I'm so grateful that I have access to this tool to use every day in my life. And I honestly will not and do not, give any tools to my clients and in my courses and programs and systems unless I use them
in my own life. I am a big walk, my talk gal. I'm also human, so there are times where I don't. And I have people in my life that let me know and bring it to my awareness, your body and your heart. Please know this is the pathway to all of your inner wisdom, grace and brilliance. I invite you to allow it. I invite you to allow the power of love and open your heart to connect and receive it. Even when fear is present. Just visualize opening your heart so that you can transcend that fear. You can
become more aware about that fear. You can unpack it. what I mean by unpacking it is looking at the situation that got tricked, where the fear happened, and look at it moment by moment. What was the thing that happened? What's the next thing? What's the next thing? What's the next thing? How did I feel and what did I do? And that's how you
unpack. When it comes to fear, the other thing, we can do also is feeding ourselves, our minds, hearts, and soul messages and information that is of a high vibration and is highly resonant. I, really feel that's what we're also craving. And when we get stuck in a fear mode, in whatever form it takes, I've actually noticed this, that I do this. I will watch negative news more often, or, I'll just attract more of the non positive things, as I'm going through that fear, which
is not helpful, right. It's not going to help me transcend that fear. And so I just go silent and read and, cry a lot and process a lot and just allow myself and my body the time to talk. And if people want to talk to me about it, I will ask them to just wait because I am emotional right now, and I'm still processing it all. So I am learning actively with you to love fear instead of resist it, instead of trying to, push it down and just ignore it or avoid it or, quite
frankly, just keeping it in place. I'm really learning to love as I step through the fear to the other side of love. That's another way to unpack it. Today, I invite you to take this step in your life in honor and love of your fears. And I'm joining you with this take the be stressfree quiz@drdar.com. You will learn your superpower, and your kryptonite, and you'll learn what they are from your stressfree quiz results
and all the emails that I'll send to you. Receiving, that I will send to you explaining your quiz results to you along with some examples. When something or someone does not feel aligned, you feel stuck or you feel fearful, then turn to your superpower and your kryptonite. The secrets are there a lot of times what happens. And for me this week when a fear got triggered, two of my superpowers were weakened. And really, you have a top one
and a secondary one. So I revisited those and was able to unpack my fear, get clear about what I needed to ask for and what I could co create with this individual and another individual and not be stuck when fear shows up. We're stuck in. It's my way or the highway. And I know that. And I also know in the relationship work that I do, that that does not work. In relationships, we've got to find common ground. We've got to find ways to, connect and align.
And as a last, last resort, if that cannot happen, then it's time to walk away or make different choices. Which brings me to, this step for you. Ask yourself what choices you can make to restore your superpower and release the kryptonite. Some of this may sound really confusing, and may not make sense, and it's because you haven't taken the be stress free quiz yet. You will learn what your kryptonite is and what your superpower is and learn about how to use it in your life.