Today I'm talking about nagging thoughts, feelings, and memories that's stick around and pop up when we least expect it or even want it. The time has come. The pain is not serving me. The pain is keeping me stuck. The memories of the bullies, jerks, power hungry takers and the experiences that went with them. the memories of parents or other role models or even people at work, coworkers, friends, you name it. Anybody that said or did anything
that did not feel good to you. Those things are no longer serving me or you. Today is the day to move on. Today is the day to say no more to the memories that, no longer serve you. Today is the day to say I am free. Today is the day to see it and feel it differently. What if? What if we can shift from shit to shine by contemplating these things? What if they were there to cause transformation by ruffling feathers, causing disruption, creating resistance, and pushing their agenda or power?
What if they were the messenger to us, saying our time in that experience was complete? What if they were saying they believed in you by taking away all that you had worked to build, by criticizing you or asking you to do more with less or
even making you wrong? What if the judgment comparing discrimination complaints that you experienced was actually the path for you to embrace your own gifts and your own unique talents because they were shining a light on them, to bring them to your awareness, to bring them to a place where you acknowledge and appreciated those talents and gifts. What if those experiences freed you up to do something else? Perhaps something bigger, better, and
more aligned. Consider the what ifs from a transformational perspective, from a perspective that helps you see it differently. What's freedom? Freedom is one of the relationship superpowers. If you don't know what your relationship superpower is, I invite you to go and take the quiz@drdar.com to learn yours. I have learned through many years fighting does not serve my highest
good. Whenever I stood up and I fought, which is standing against something, my energy would get zapped, my health would get affected, and frankly, the outcome wasn't a collaborative outcome that really worked out for me and frankly, worked out for everyone else. For me, the peaceful way is the path towards mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual
wellness. I have also learned that pushing others, when we're in that space, of pushing against something that does not serve my highest good or that of others, for me, having conversations and meaningful dialogues to arrive at a collaborative approach does serve my highest good as well as theirs. It's not always possible. But when it is, magic can happen. And when it isn't, you get really clear that it's time to make a different
choice. It's time to move on. I have learned that pushing myself does not serve my highest good. For me, choosing aligned actions with my relationship superpower and then fulfilling them when inspired does serve my highest good. I have learned that when something does not feel good, I'm not to do anything with it. I'm just to be patient and wait for that moment to pass so that I can process it, and think about it and feel about it with a different viewpoint or a different, more open,
grounded, and centered perspective. For me, being the observer in the moment is the key to transformation. The moment when things don't feel good, those do pass. Those moments pass the times I chose to stand up, fight, take actions, or do anything. In the moment when things didn't feel good and when they transpired, they didn't serve my highest good. And frankly, they didn't turn
out well for me or anyone else. For me, waiting while observing to see how everything lands, then checking in for alignment with my superpower and alignment to what does feel good for me and what does or does not serve my highest good and that of others works. When things or situations don't feel good, I check in with my relationship superpower, and I find ways to satisfy that need in my superpower in other ways until things calm
down. For example, when love and belonging is not present, human beings can push, push, push, and try to find love and belonging in the current moment. And it may not be present because we're dealing with other people, situations and dynamics. And it doesn't mean that we're not loved or we don't belong. It could just mean that this is not the right time, right place, or right moment with these individuals to feel love and
belonging. So the key in this example is to draw memories and feelings from, places and spaces where you are loved, where you do feel belonging, so that you can calmly be in the space or calmly exit the space or calmly make other choices that are in alignment for you. I have learned that when I feel threatened or unsafe, I must make a choice to restore my safety and survival needs for me. Only I can make choices to restore or reconnect my safety and survival need, regardless of
what others are doing or saying. When we get triggered in a relationship or in a meeting or in any situation, it is the fight or flight response that's showing up. It is a primal, programmed response. And when we react from that fight or flight primal, way, it doesn't usually turn out well. Today we are in modern times, and we've got to let that moment pass or identify what we need for ourselves in order to restore safety
and survival. This is really important, because what I think the modern human does is we stay in it and we go into paralysis, and then we feel bad about ourselves and others and those survival and safety needs. And the triggers are really important. They are signposts and guideposts. But we've got to really look at it from a place, of what is it going to take for me to restore my survival or safety need? What is going on in this moment that I feel like I need to leave? Is it a real threat?
And if it is a real threat, like your physical, emotional well being is really being threatened by another human being, it's time to exit. If it's not and it just feels that way in the moment, there are other ways to look at it. Ultimately, I and you are accountable for our own safety and survival needs. We can certainly partner with others and collaborate.
For example, if we're going on a hiking trip, having conversations with the people that we're going with, and identifying who's going to be accountable and responsible for different safety and survival needs, that's an important conversation to have in our personal lives. Talking about things that trigger our safety and survival needs with our loved ones is really important so that they understand what your triggers are and what your needs are. And then you can create community and collaboration
in finding ways to get those needs met. But not talking about them not collaborating and not being aware of what yours are makes it very difficult and challenging for when they do get triggered, and it creates a space for not being clear when you do get triggered, and then that fight or flight takes over. I have learned also that holding on to what others did that did not feel good or did not serve my highest good or that of others is really a recipe for me to be
unwell. All of this has been a process for me, for letting go. But what I've found is my left brain has hung onto the memory, and so has my body, and I need to make an active choice to change the program that's running in my head and in my cellular memory. It is time for me to release. There's no more reflection needed. There's no more retrospection needed. There's no more lessons from those past events needed. There is nothing for me to learn.
It is done. It is complete. It is time to say goodbye, adios and sayonara to what happened and to all those who participated in it. It is time to release the cellular memory. When the memory shows up again, simply say goodbye. That is all there is to do. That is all there is that's required or necessary to program a new story for you. A story that serves your highest good in this moment going forward, say goodbye to the thought and associated emotion. The situation has
passed. It is in the past. The memory and thought are just stuck in the head and the emotion in the body and saying goodbye when they show up will result in letting them and it go. My invitation to you and me is to be free, divine being. Be free of the mental chains and cellular memories that don't serve your or my highest good. Say goodbye when they show up and they will show up less and less until they no longer are present for you. Say goodbye to release with love
and grace. This is going to be a transition to reprogram. It's what's necessary to create living from a place of possibility. It will open your eyes and heart to other ways of seeing, doing, being and living one that is more honoring, respectful and loving. There won't be any more competing or fighting. There will be more peace, joy, ease, freedom, time and fulfillment for you in your head, body
and heart. There's also mental, emotional, physical and spiritual wellness available to you as you honor your path, ways, values and needs as you nurture your nature and find your new space and place. As you be free and say goodbye. Your one step, just as a reminder to release undesired thoughts, feelings and memories, is to simply say goodbye. When that undesired or joyless thought, feeling or memory pops into your awareness, say
goodbye. Thank you for listening and giving me the precious gift of your time and presence.