Welcome. Welcome to The Best 5 Minute Wine Podcast with Forrest Kelly. Hey, Forrest, I've got a great idea for St. Patrick's Day. It's not gonna require you to drink wine out of a leprechaun's shoe, because that would actually be an improvement over some of your ideas. Oh. That's the way to start the show off. Okay. All right. If you want to do it, let's. Let's hear your idea. If we have to do this, we'll start with a boring white wine. Okay?
Something light, something dark, like a sauvignon blanc. The kind of wine that pair with disappointment. Step one, add the green the wrong way first. Now, any normal person would just use green food coloring, right? But no, let's complicate it first. Let's throw in some spinach. Cause what health, right? Oh, look, now we have a salad floating in our wine. This is going well. Absolutely. Step two. Or better yet, let's crush up some green Skittles.
Because why should beer have all the artificial fun? Who needs dignity when you can have candy flavored regret? You're putting spinach in your sauvignon and Skittles. Okay? This is going really well. The magical transformation. All right, let's do it. Right. A few drops of green food coloring. Boom. Now it looks like a science experiment gone wrong. Perfect for celebrating a holiday where people drink things they'll regret later. You got that? Give it a fancy, misleading name.
We can't just call it green wine. No, no. We have to make it sound classy. Of course. How about Emerald Elixir of Desperation? Okay. Or Shamrock Sauvignon now with Extra Poor Life Ch. Step 5, Taste Test and instant regret. Ah, yes. Just as I expected. This tastes like white wine with a bad attitude. But, hey, at least it's green. Pairing recommendations. This fine, artificially enhanced wine pairs well with overcooked corned beef. Bad decisions and calling in sick to work on Tuesday.
Make sure you have a safe St. Patrick's Day and drink responsibly. As they say, this is Sour Grapes. Pouring grumpy wisdom one glass at a time. The Best 5 Minute Wine Podcast.