All right.
So the other night, well, I shouldn't say. The other night was last night. I was unpacking a lamp. You know, got a new lamp man, one new lamp. I don't know if you guys have seen the show Lampman. It's very Christmas story. It's like land Man, but it's about a guy that got a lamp. And the base of that thing was incredibly heavy, and they didn't give good directions on the box as to what side you should cut open first, And that forty five pound base smashed into my foot.
No, you just opened it and dropped it on your feet.
Well I was, It just fell it didn't It fell sideways out of the side styrofoam like I was over the box cutting it. Yeah, And you know they should say, you know, there's a sticker on there that says heavy, but it should say this side up, so you know which way to cut and then pull the thing out of it. And so I was using a blade to cut the box open, and then that forty five pound base smashed into my foot on a bit, I made that sound, and then because of my reaction, I then
sliced my thumb with the blade. Oh no, so I had broken foot and bloody finger all going on at the same time, and then their nap just SNA.
Radio show broke and bloody fingers. Those are the worst Bond villains.
So Bloody Finger, it's you, and then my nap just snacked right off.
Okay, so are you sewing a box company? No, I'm assuming myself just for being a dumb ass. I'm coming Fox Sports one. Oh, okay, go ahead. No. I was like, what kind of blade was it? Blade? Runner?
Bro?
Did you have a switchblade on it? He popped it out? You know those? Actually, I would like to say it was a box cutter, Darvin or something.
I was just using the scissors. See that's why I cut, because I was holding the scissors like that, just on the edge of the thumb.
Yeah.
No, but yeah, earlier my finger just started bleeding. What hurt worse? But is it your foot hurt worse or your hand? So the hand didn't really hurt. It was just an inconvenience. So there's blood going everywhere. But I thought I broke my foot until I wiggled it, and then I was able to wiggle it, It's like all right, it didn't break. And then I was like, wait, does this thing swell in? I can't tell. And then the whole time I'm trying that cool in front of my daughter's boyfriend.
Oh, where does the lamp go in your house?
It's going like it's lamp's great, dude's starting lamp like the living room playing time. Yeah, dude, it is the new It is the new foundation of the entire house.
Okay, okay, so it's the VIP of that house.
Yes, but now every time you see it, you're gonna know that you dropped it on your foot. Yeah, that'll happen. That'll happen. But it's great to get that light where we needed it. Hey, you could have killed a dog. What if Bill ghost busting s Murray your dog was right beneath it.
Uh, he didn't really hang out that close to him. He wants his distance. But right now it's time for this juice moves. Hot goss, come.
Stay on top in the hot shovel.
Lots of prayers to skins, body parts, golden gloves were last night on CBS.
Nikki Glazer was your host. Here's how she started off the evening.
I gotta say this feels like I finally made it. You know, I'm in a room full of producers at the Beverly Hilton Hotel.
And this time all of.
My clothes are on, So yeah, it was worth it. Wicked, queer night, bitch. These are not just words Ben Affleck yells after he orgasms. These are some of the movies dominated tonight. The Bear, the Penguin, Baby Reindeer. These are not just things found in RFK freezer.
These are off to a good start.
Yeah I missed the beginning. That was really good.
He was good.
Okay, So Zendia is in the crowd showing off a beautiful engagement rate has little Tom Holland proposed.
Zenda's Here's andda. You were incredible in Dune. Oh my god, I woke up for all of your scenes.
You are so good.
And Challengers Girl, Oh my god, it was so good.
I mean that.
Movie was more sexually charged than Diddy's Credit Card. I mean seriously.
Oh no, no, I know, I'm sorry.
I'm upset to the after party is not gonna be as good this year, but.
We have to move on.
I know, Stanley Tucci Freakoff just doesn't have the same ring to it. But no baby oil this year, just lots of olive oil.
Okay, wow, are you guys aware of the Tucci show that he does?
Yes, where he tours Italy? It's very strange. In general, he's strange. But Timothy Shallomet is here?
Where is Timothy shallow?
Can I just say?
You have the most gorgeous eyelashes on your upper lip? I think this is just such good luck, Timothy. You're just so great at playing these like beloved eccentrics, Dylan, Willie Wonka.
Who's next, Adam Sandler?
Actually, your name sounds like something Adam Sandler would.
Say, shadow me, shadow.
Me, Sailor.
Sailor's here at Sailor? Can I get a shallow.
Bay yow to you?
So that was really good? I think I'm gay now. I watched Wicked over the weekend. How was it? It's really good? I bet it is. We have Wicked jokes.
I like did not know much about Wicked going into this year because I had friends in high school. But I loved Everyone loved Wicked. I loved Wicked, My boyfriend loved Wicked. My boyfriend's boyfriend really loved Wicked.
It was so much fun.
It's some theaters had issues with the musicals, you know, at Wicked Some people complained that the movie was ruined by people singing you know and then joker too. Some people complained that the movie was ruined by the images on the screen and sounds that accompanied them. But I'm sorry joker too. Where's their table?
Oh they're not here. That's right. Beautiful, fantastic. She's so good. She is really good.
Don't you think, though, that you can do that at the Golden Globes not the Oscars.
Yeah, well she could. She's known for that Golden Globe.
I don't think the Golden Globe or the Oscars whatever have her, is my point, because they're too stuffy. They're stuffy in the Golden Globes.
Is the fun?
Hey look, George Clooney got drunk. It's like drinking. Yeah. Nicole Kidman.
Nicole Kidman is here.
Oh my gosh.
Nominated for Baby Girl.
Really, he's so good. I love that movie.
That movie. I give it two fingers up. It's so good. This is your twentieth Golden Globe nomination, I mean incredible. Thank you so much for all of your hard work, and thank you to Keith Urban for playing guitar around the house so much that she wants to leave and make eighteen movies a year, keeps strubbing your cookie koala.
A kookie kuwala, and he's just sitting there.
I god, oh my god, getting drilled for no reason here.
Well, there's a lot of drilling in Baby Girl. Yep, yep uh.
I really think this is gonna be a very memorable evening and and maybe not even in the way that you think. I predict five years from now, when when you're watching old clips of this show on YouTube, you'll see someone in one of the crowd shots and you'll go, oh my god, that was before.
They caught that guy like he knows, you know.
But or she It could be a woman, you know. I think one hundred percent of the time it's a man, but it could be a woman. It won't be it never is kind of like best director, all right.
Yeah.
So I read a big article on her in her preparation for this, and she has a team of ten producers, including her boyfriend writers. I'm ten writers, including her boyfriend. And she worked twenty nine days in December doing multiple sets, so multiple sets twenty nine days of December. One was Christmas Day and one was a night that she was
just sick and didn't perform. And she was in Hollywood or in la and doing all these shows testing out all these jokes, and her boyfriend would sit in the back and on his phone would just type good, bad, needs to be better, like little notes on each joke. And she worked her ass off on this and about she was getting tired of all these jokes, but then you know, in the moment she would make them good.
And it was a really good article to see, like what goes into this, or at least someone who like what I like about Nikki as she cares, she gives a crap and she works hard at it, and so we'll just go mell it in and just read what's on the prompter. And uh, yeah, I thought it was good. She's great with one presenter that I wanted to play for you. Usually I didn't. I don't really think these
are that funny. They do to too many bits. But Seth Rogan and Catherine O'Hara came out and the premise of the bit is they've wanted a lot of things in Canada that you guys my test that I know about.
We're actually both much more acclaimed for our Canadian work. It's stuff you guys haven't heard of. But actually Catherine one, not one, but two Golden Antlers for her work as Mama Morissets in the Alanis Morisset Story.
Thank you.
What about you and your brave, brave golden Antler win your turn as young Ryan? Yes, in Gostling, Yeah, the Ryan Gossling unauthorized biopic.
But none of these are compared to your gilded Gretzky winning role in an Otter's Tale, the story of a woman who rescued an Otter's cub and nursed it back to heuse with her own breast milk. And ever since I was a child, I've wondered how you shot those scenes with that otter painfully?
Yes, and I lost half a nipple, But that led to a lot of fun, very hard R rated comedies.
Yes, the moose Knuckles trilogy.
Oh my god, Moose Nuckles two was a massive.
Hip Oh yes, Moose Knuckles two deep one Canada's Most Illustrious Adult Film Award.
Actually, wait, you won the Beaver.
We won the Beaver. It actually we swept the beavers that year. It is it was a Beaver multi Beaver winning film.
Yes, that's pretty good. Oh, Forever's good movies. Uh, your Best Drama winner was The Brutalist. The Brutalist is a three hour and thirty minute movie starring Adrian Brody. This movie has a fifteen minute intermission in the film, like if you go watch the theaters, you have a fifteen minute break.
The trailer Ford is so good. I was like, man, I think I'm crying watching the trailer.
Took seven years to make it. It looks everyone says it's great.
Yeah, what about Really it's about a immigrant cost Yeah, it's an immigrant architect. Yeah, like he was a brilliant architect in Europe and then he comes to American and he's shoveling coal and then a very wealthy guy discovers him and pulls him into the social scene and and so it's like, I mean, it's one of those very sort of America can tails about immigration and about you know. The old world best musical or comedy movie was Amelia pres I don't know.
My wife saw it on Netflix said it was terrible, but I heard of it. Yeah, so TV shows, I guess your TV winner drama was Showgun. Of course, comedy was Hacks.
Yeah seen Showgun. I quit It was on FX A lot of people love it.
I quit after it was like, uh, you know the it's a remake of the Showgun from the eighties with Richard Chamberlain. They remade it, and when when Fargo was on with John Hamm, they were running.
Promos for it just incessantly. It was on NonStop. I remember seeing commercials. I don't never actually watched.
The most money FX has ever spent on a single show was for Showgun.
Uh.
There's just a scene where a guy jumped off a boat. It's I just don't want to watch it anymore. It's hard to explain if.
Guy jumped off you were like them out. Why would people have been jumping off boats for years in the ocean in the middle of the ocean, yea life jacket on? What do you mean and then jump in to save someone? No, no, just for fun. They're going for a swim. I was confusing.
Did you know that butterflies they studied them across the Atlantic Ocean only took eight.
Days to go from one side of the next.
Can you imagine it'd be like to be a caterpillar and before that you're a caterpillar, and then all of a sudden they're tracking me flying across the ocean eight days to get get across the Atlantic for a butterfly.
There is your golden closery cap. What just happened? I don't know, I'm not sure. I think we all just had simultaneous strokes.
Yeah, that was crazy. It's like or we're all doing acid right now. That was the weirdest thing I've ever experienced. He's laying down right now. Yeah, you know how you got there's you get challenged to say things in broadcasts. Maybe he's being challenged to say things on the show, yeah by Nicky Glazier.
Yeah, there you have it.
Yeah, there is a Caterpillar report by Kevin Turner coming up next. Let's go around the sports, and how about this Mike McCarthy could be going to a new team.
We talk about that next