Ben Higgins and Ashley I bring you Infamous.
Sometimes roses are red flags. This is part two of our conversation with Sydney on Infamous, Because sometimes roses are red flags. I think the redeeming moments typically from the show with characters like yourself, I don't think i'd put you in a villain category. I think you had villainous moments, maybe just towards one person. And I think I was a statement I made when we were watching the show. I think the Maria thing felt odd and off and not nice. A lot of times.
It looks like I crushed on her. I think it looks like I was in love with her.
Yeah, that's cool too, Well, that's fine, that would be a great storyline on the show, and just trying to make those storylines before. I think the redeeming moment that we need to hear from you, if there is one, and if there's not, then that's fine, and you just continue on with what you're doing. You look back on this experience you've you've lived in your learned what have you taken from it now personally for you as a human outside of the show.
I mean, obviously it's taken a lot of time, and the experience was so intense, but I feel like I've just had I was like forced to do so much inner work and like reflecting and like setting boundaries and just figuring out like who I want to be as a person and like who like how I want to treat other people. Yeah, and I'm just like I think
that I was. I also was so frustrated, like I found like myself to be like just having all this pain, and now like looking back on it, I can like really look at other people's persuh, like how they see things, like especially like Maria, and just like look at it from clarity and peace and just feel like, you know, we're all just humans living on this earth. Like and I don't know's that's kind of where I'm out with it.
I mean, I know after the show is really hard, and that is never a desire of any especially Ashley myself, maybe some other people out there. The hope is that
this doesn't continue on forever. But the hope is that you do learn something from this experience, no matter if you have a good experience, a bad experience, or somewhere in between, that you walk off of this somewhat new and you've been able to reflect and watch yourself on national television for a few weeks and then go, you know what, I like that about myself or Hey, that felt like it wasn't a good decision that I made at the time, and I need to kind of do
some introspection to figure out where that decision was coming from in my life. It sounds like you have, you know, done a lot of introspection since the show, and you've done a lot of thinking about this experience. So how does it make you feel now as you look back knowing this was your time on the show and knowing that this could have gone a lot differently but it didn't. How does it make you feel now being the person that you are?
So again, I do think that I wish I handled a lot of things differently.
I wish that I came from a little bit more understanding instead of like thinking that there was malicious intent behind her, And I wish that.
It was never about the drama. But I if I was to do it again, to be honest, I probably would stem from the same, like being a good friend and sticking up for a friend, like because that's how I saw how it was playing out. I do think that you know, I wouldn't, you know, call Maria bitch and all those things. But like, yeah, I think if I was to do it all again, I would just try to completely avoid the drama altogether. I think that the where all stand was so stupid, like it didn't
even really matter, so I probably wouldn't even addressed it. Honestly.
It's a great segue into this clip that I want to play now, Ashley go fine. Maria was just recently on Jia Judae's podcast, Let's play this clip and kind of hear what you think after.
Listening, you either loved me or hated me. It was there was no in between. Yeah, but so I love to hear that now. It was very obvious, even from a viewer standpoint though, to see that you were being attacked. Well, I mean, and it's so crazy. Actually, I was getting coffee today and a girl came up to me and she was like, kid, be honest, was it real? Like did it like Housewives?
You know what I mean?
And I'm like, you know, what's so funny. It's like, as a viewer of the show, sometimes I'm like, there's just no way these fights are so dumb. There's no there's something's like off until I went on the show, and then I realized, oh my god, there are just people out there that you know. But here's the thing about Sydney, I like appreciate her now, like looking back, I can really because we needed that. That like made the show in ways.
It kind of made the season iconic.
That's what I mean.
I needed, Like, I mean, I wasn't gonna start drawing, but I was okay to like it happen and yeah.
So what's your take on that?
Yeah, so I've heard that old Sydney would be like, all right, well that's a backhanded compliment, but like, knowing who she is, that that is her complimenting me now, like because she does like me now and I understand where she's coming from. I I never wanted to go into that experience trying to start drama, though I can see how that. I can see how in like that environment, emotions run high, things unfold and there's it's not it's
not fully of like what we expected. I mean, I was reacting in real time, trying to advocate for myself and process everything as it happened. Looking back, I recognized that there were moments where I could have handled things differently, and that's things like I was saying, like I reflected.
On a lot but said, like I hear this, and I'm like, come on, girl. In the words of Latia, come on now, come on, now, come on, because she said I wasn't going to start drama, but it happened. Like I just think that Maria's personality, it could be like I could have hang would like to hang out with her. Truly, she seems fun, but she also seems like someone who's probably prone to some drama being around her.
Yeah, I mean, like again, like it's just goes back to like how we communicate so differently. Like I would hear that and like old Sydney would be offended and be like that's a bat candid compliment, you know, But like now I'm just like, you know, I've had to just set that free, you know, just like it is it's just who she is, and like, yeah, it's like, you know, this is my year of growth, you know.
It's just like I just have to let like she's just Maria's Maria and like I don't think she meant any harm behind it.
Sydney, You're winning. This is what I wanted you to do during this show. This is exactly what I wanted you to come up with when you're being filmed for these weeks, is to at some point say, hey, I don't see the world the way she does. She doesn't see the world the way I do, and as a result, I'm just not entering into it. I am going to stay back and let this stuff play out. So you're doing it now, I'm just luty. You didn't do it, then, no.
Just what is in your face? You can't stop yourself.
I'm to be honest with you. There were so many moments I did. There were so many moments I believe it just didn't fit into character that I was supposed to be.
One of the most annoying things that I received in a very very small amount that you received in a very large amount, was people would say.
Your friend's me is a liar, like she is a liar.
First off, people aren't crazy because they say it like fact, as if what they see on TV is true fact, there's no other context, and they truly know the person through and through right. But the liar thing was very annoying to me and to you because because I truly still don't think you were lying.
No, And that's that was what honestly hurt me the most was to people, Yeah, call me a liar, and like, I'm just gonna say this, like, there was not a single thing that I lied about. I did not lie about a single thing, whether it was I saw it for myself or it was told by me by production, there is not a thing that I lied about. And I think people need to know that just because you
didn't see something doesn't mean it didn't happen. Like we were filmed from the second we wake up to the second we go to bed, and like, it's not going to fit into one episode. So and it also doesn't pen to the storyline too, but so it's yeah, but being called a liar, I was like, yeah, that al was got hurt.
It's a big comment, Sydney for this, you know, as we process the changing of the guard for the Bachelor franchise and a new team of producers and editors and video and camera coming in and the old one is coming out, the ones that you were most familiar with, and we kind of break down these stories of the behind the scenes to try to make sense of It's a big comment and it's a true comment. Now I
don't know your specific situation. I don't I wasn't there, but for you to say you didn't lie about anything and that everything was either said to you by somebody else, or you saw it for yourself or a producer said it to you. Yeah, is bringing to light a lot of the things that maybe allow this drama to unfold and allows you know, this chaos to happen and for people to hear things and then stand up and say things.
I think, Sidney, as we have processed this whole conversation and you saying, hey, you're proud that you stood up. You know, in your life, you still want to be the friend to stand up, you know for your friends. That's a great friend. I want that kind of friend. I think most people do. I also think for you to admit that they got you, that you were naive, and that they they that you didn't stop it, that you let it keep going, and that it's not editing.
The Pigros.
You could have said no, and you could have said that's not what I'm going to do.
Ben.
Ben really loves to do this.
Ben is you know, he's a prince character and you and I are by nature going we can't hold everything back.
Many Yeah, I couldn't do it.
It wouldn't be being true to myself if I held it back.
Yeah, I'm a very I'm an mpath like I just it's just who I am.
I admit not everybody sees it like I do, and that's fine.
Yeah, yeah, I.
Don't blame you. I'm just saying I wish your story would have been different. And so that's where my question comes here, Sidney, as we close up with you, your story should have been, could have been different. That's not the person that you want to be in your daily life. And Maria doesn't haunt your dreams. I'm not I'm assuming here. I'm guessing she's not on your mind all the time.
I'm guessing you have moved on from this. For anybody listening, is there anything else that you'd want people to know that we haven't asked you or touched on that would help make not this situation come to light and turn the table on Maria. We haven't done that. What we've done is highlight the mistakes made and some of the reasons why it looked the way it looked. Is there anything else that you'd want somebody to know? That we haven't asked you.
Like, you know, I think that it's not so black and white. I don't think that like moving forward, that there ever is a real true villain. I think that, I know. I mean, like Maria' is like, oh what you see is like what the drama was like, not how I perceived everything. Like my truth is so different. So everybody's truth in reality to the situation is different. And that's just life. So it's just like that on
the show. And I mean I had to just work on this entire year being okay with the world not knowing, so like I do. I feel like there is so much I could go on and on and on and on about like like production and this and that, and I just don't think that there really is a need
for it. I mean I will say this, I will say one thing that that sometimes I mean when I like have like people come to my store and they'll like ask for a photo and stuff, and they'll be like, wait, you're actually so nice, like and I'm just like, well, I mean it's just the power of I know, we hate it editing, but I would say this, like, uh, there was a group date and I got up and it looks like I walked away alone. But let's just say I wasn't the case.
What do you mean tell us everyone followed me.
Out because they were all on the same page as me, kind of thing. I think.
I had moments, I had moments where I can relate to this completely. Like I just wish that I could have told everyone and be like, you don't understand, like there was a reason why there was nobody else talking because everybody was agreeing with me.
Yeah, yeah, I mean there were so many times where it wasn't even just me. But I mean, at the same time, it's just like I've done so much work being okay with that, like just being okay with me myself, knowing my truth in my reality of it, you know, and like also I have I have, you know, like I did make mistakes and I take full accountability for, you know, things I've said on the show that I did, I don't mean, but it definitely was the result of things that no one ever saw.
This was supposed to be the closing question, but I guess you brought up a question now from your response. If what I think you were saying was there was a group date that you got up and walked away from and the show made it seem like you walked alone. But what you're saying is that everybody walked with you because they were fed up with the situation at hand.
So my question off of that is, then if that was true, how come no other cast members have said that or stood up for you in that moment after it looked so differently?
Well, I mean, we're all tied to the NDA, and there was a lot of people unfortunately that you know, switched up would come women tell all, which was like super shocking and unfortunate, But at the same time, it's just like that's what they just they didn't want to have to dive into it, you know, like they weren't involved, and I don't expect them to, you know, put themselves
in hole that they weren't even in. And it was kind of just like the way that it looked at the end of the day was me and Maria and they were off the hook, and I honestly they they took the smart route by not getting involved at the end of the day, Like does it suck, Yeah, it does suck. You know, people feeling like I felt like pretty alone after it when it's just like there were so many people that like had my back and and stuck up for me during the season even though we
didn't see it. But yeah, I just I mean, it's unfortunate, but at the same time, like, I don't blame.
Them for not You know what's interesting is that they didn't let you do any interviews at all since the show. You haven't been able to speak on any platform until now, which you know, the contract lasts a year from like your last appearance date.
Yeah, why do you think that is?
Because I just think that it well also too, you're technically not allowed to talk about what didn't air, and then that's really all that I had, like to back me up. But at the same time, I just don't think that I was meant to be liked. I was not, Like my perspective was not meant to be shared. It just doesn't didn't fit the mold of like the character that I was supposed to be. I don't know what do you think about that, Ash?
I think it's interesting because they pretty much let everybody talk these days on a podcast, especially their own Warner Brother one. But it always seems like somebody turns up on a really big podcast after that as well, and you were just never on the docket to be able to be talked to, and when we would inquire, even months after you were on the show, they still wouldn't let you.
Yeah, I know. But to be honest, like, I don't even think it would have done me any good because I was still upset and like confused and yeah, in sight, but maybe, I mean maybe it would have given people a little bit better of an understanding of like who I am at the slightest.
But I agree with you, I agree with you. I think it probably would have been bad. I think you probably would have been too defensive and it just wasn't the time for that. Now, did you look forward to possibly having an opportunity in Bachelor and Paradise to kind of clear your name?
Yeah, No, definitely I was looking forward to that. I was like, this could be a great opportunity for people to finally get to know me. And I feel like I feel and I'm ready, like I'm so ready to find my person. I like I've been ready even went on the show, like genuinely looking for that.
That's not going to happen.
It looks like, well, it's a mistake you not going on Paradise.
No, I'm not not her mistake.
That's a big mistake.
Yeah, it's unfortunate, but like I said, everything happens for a reason. Yeah, and uh yeah, I don't know. It might be good. I've might just be opening wounds again as well. Yeah, but yeah, it's just really unfortunate about like just not getting that opportunity and then hearing who is going on and then you know, I just feel like I, I don't know, deserved a second chance.
We all deserved second chances. Sidney and I hate I think. I think the perfect person for Paradise is somebody and this isn't what I wish on anybody. I think one of the many perfect people to go on Paradise is somebody that says they went on the show, they did their best. The show knows what they did to them.
Now.
I don't know if this new Bachelor and Paradise crew has any idea of what your experience was actually like on the show. I think there's very few, and I don't think many of those people still work on the show anymore. But anybody comes off of it and said the show made them feel alone is somebody that I said, I say as a fan of viewer, a former contestant.
Paradise is the place for you, and it is a mistake that you aren't going because if this show made you feel alone, the show has a lot of issues, but one of the things the show has always done, at least in the few last few years, it's allowed the redemption story to happen in Paradise, which always becomes a very beautiful moment for you and for us fans. So it is a mistake that they haven't had you there.
And I will say that it's something that is unfortunate that you will not be on the beaches to get your redemption story that no matter what you deserve, because this was not great for you. The show did not like help you find love or really you know, increase your self talk or make you feel any better. And that's why I want you in Paradise.
Yeah, I think about it too, And I also I mean, there are people that there are a like few people that can you continue on to Paradise that know my situation, and one of them that I'm that I've been speaking to. But I'll be honest too, I think like I wasn't very proactively wanting to go on also because I wassident, because I was so hurt and upset and kind of like like, how could you know they do some of
the things that they do to me? But but yeah, I just think that's like, that's I just had so much growth and I was like, I don't know if I even want to risk that again, you know.
Sydney, thank you for coming on the show with us. Thank you for sharing your side. Thank you for being so nervous to talk to me. Goodness, am so scary. It makes me feel good about myself. I'm going to tell my wife that somebody was scary. I thought I was scary. She'll laugh. Sidney, thank you for sharing your side. We hope, I mean, I know Ashley is going to keep close with you, but I just I hope the
best for you. I hope the lessons learned help your life, and I hope the moments of growth continue for all of us here. So thanks for listening to Infamous. Sidney, thank you for being a part of it.
Thanks Sydney, and I've Been Ben, I've been Ashley.
Bye.
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