Snakes on a Plane

On the Bechdecast, the questions asked if movies have women and them, are all their discussions just boyfriends and husbands, or do they have individualism? The patriarchy? Zeph and Best start changing with the Bechdel Cast.

Hey, Jamie, Hey Caitlin, I have had it with these motherfucking snakes on this motherfucking podcast.

I wish I had a snake really like that. No, I'm not kidding. I have a snake tank.

Oh that's right.

Yeah. I went through my snake face and then I just it turns out I'm afraid of snakes.

I too, am afraid of snakes. I would not want one as a pet personally.

Friend of the show, Maggie Maye, this is gonna be a loose episode, but it's also gonna be a very serious episode.

It's so serious.

Don't underestimate how much text there is to discuss. Maggie may Fish front of the show has a snake, yes, and her snake outgrew the tank, which is a terrifying prospect. IUSSI believe your snake is named Jeff. That's in which I think is very cute.

That's hilarious.

Jeff a snake and she was like, hey, you know, Jeff outgrew the tank. If you want, if you want the old tank, and so I still have the tank. I still but now it's like I have two cats and adult you know, like, am I really gonna add a snake into the mix? It just feels like a lot.

I mean, it's not a big apartment. According to the movie where watching we're discussing today might be dangerous, it might be a little scary.

I was honestly, Okay, first of all, welcome to the Bechdel Cast. This is uh, this is in like sort of for like content warning, and just like I just want everyone to sort of prepare themselves for like a sort of serious episode today.

Yeah, there's a lot of like just upsetting things to discuss. There's a lot it's yeah, things are gonna be a little grim yeah today.

And it's it's gonna be you know, it's not gonna feel good. But I think it's a conversation that I mean, I don't know, maybe it's over correction to apologize, but I feel like we've been avoiding this conversation in a way that is irresponsible to our listener base, who like, we appreciate and we care about you so much, and like you've been asking us to sort of speak to this, and we were just like trying to get the words together.

And it's, yeah, we we should not have been silent on this matter, this matter being discussing the movie Snakes on a Plane two.

Thousand and six. I'm like, I don't I'm like, how long? How long do we keep it up?

I don't know.

I genuinely don't know.

Sorry, Oh, I should not be laughing. He sound like you're truk serious.

It's not funny.

It's not funny.

So I guess to open with an apology, and it came from a place of kind of I agree with the criticism that said that it was coming from a place of fear and avoidance on our point, but in our defense, I think it was also like, yeah, when people started asking us to comment on this, I don't think we knew ourselves well enough to really be able to intelligently say, like, if we had done this, even you know, three or four years ago, I wouldn't have been able to see the shades of gray in the text.

Maybe even three or four months ago. Like there's been a lot of growth recently on our parts. I don't even know.

If we could have seen the snakes three or four of months ago, the movie would have been really confusing if we saw the.

Movie is called Snakes on a Plane, but I don't see right. But now we know what is there, and what's there is snakes on a plane, and certainly.

More than one.

There's plural snakes a lot.

I was genuinely shocked to find that there were four hundred and fifty real snakes on set.

Because to me, they're all cgi.

I saw one shot of a I was like, oh, that's a snake, and then the rest were yeah, like, you know whatever. My final animation project in college of a snake going hasasa. That's this, Uh, of course this movie.

Look, you asked for it, Well, that's the other thing, Like, this is our number one request. Yes, this is at the top of our request list. I think every listener at one point has requested, nay demanded, we do this movie.

I agree, and I think, and it's honestly, I mean, for those wondering, in case it's not obvious, this is part of the reason we like the show even exists.

I approached Jamie like, yeah, eight and a half nine years ago whatever, and I was like, yeah, it's really important to me. Like we're not going to be ready to do it for a long time, but it's like having having the foresight to know that like this needs to be discussed through an intersectional feminist lens, and that we have to just sort of build up, build up our brand, yeah, build up our knowledge, and get to a point where we can discuss this movie.

And I was kind of like, honestly taken aback at the time, where you know, you led the conversation by being like, I have not heard anyone talk about intersectional feminism in which is wild because we didn't even really use that term then, but yeah, intersectional feminism in the movie Snakes on a plane, right, And I was like, okay, okay, well we should try to talk about it. And then you said well and then you put your hand on mine, which was was you didn't ask for consent. But it

Well, Jamie not, you know, we were viving the signals, were there were signals you're vibing.

We were look, I'm not I'm not calling you. I loved it. I loved it.

For a second.

Thank you, But yeah, you put your hand on mine and you said, well, I don't think we're going to be ready to talk about snakes on a plane for at least eight years. And I was kind of taken aback because that's a big commitment. But yeah, you know, I don't regret a second of it. I think that we needed every single second to get to where we are now, so that we I mean, honestly, I think we could have taken even longer, but it was just you know, our inboxes are overflowing. They're like now more

And the other thing about it too is that like, because this whole podcast has been leading up to this, there's like really not much reason for us to go on. So this will be our last episode.

Yeah, and so if you've been a listener for you know, the better part of a decade now, like we're so grateful for your support for your patients with us as we continue to grow to a point where we could finally have this discussion, and.

We're grateful and were snake ful. That was not a very good joke, but again, this is a very serious episode.

I think it's you need levity in an episode like this, That's true, true, I feel like I'm on the verge of tears. But you know, for old times sake, if you're a first time listener, this is the perfect episode of this show to start with.

This is the Bechdel caste sorry again, sorry to laugh.

It's a response to fear. It's exactly wild that people aren't laughing more in the movies. Snakes up way, I think I do mean that. But the Bechdel Cast it's a show where we look at your favorite movies, you know, using the Bechdel test as a jumping off point for discussion. Kaitlyn, I mean just as a sendoff, would like the folks at home know what that is.

Yeah, I don't modify it a little bit for the sake of this episode. So the Bechdel tests, there are many versions of it. For this episode in particular, do to snakes hiss at each other about something other than another snake, and it has to be a really significant like hiss for it to pass. Yeah.

Yeah, And I felt like, you know, by that matric, and shockingly by even more conventional metrics. This movie does pass the Bechdel's House and more than once, which was frankly.

Shocking, so shocking.

But I do I feel ready to I just feel ready. I feel ready to jump in.

Well, what's your what's your relationship with this movie? Jamie?

Nothing. I have no history of this movie. I remember that it came out on my birthday when I was in middle school. WHOA, yeah, it just came out on August eighteenth.

Yeah, it did.

It came out on my birthday in middle school, and I remember wanting to see it, but unfortunately I was in middle school and I could not go see it. And I just remember, I don't know if I like held it against the movie, but I never saw it. Like I was just like, fuck this movie. I'm thirteen,

I think the movie Troy WHOA Okay came out on my birthday, but I might be full of shit. Let me see Troy release date. Oh it was closed. It was May fourteenth, Okay, two thousand and four. There you go, so a few days off, but it's like it came out.

The week and you just remember, especially when you're too young to see the movie. This was the ultimate example of this for me, because you know, did The Master of Disguise come out at least close to my birthday? Yes, but I was the Targe audience and so I could go. But Snake's on a Plane, Yeah, I just had never seen it.

And well, I think another reason you were avoiding it probably is because it is such a heavy text and you.

Could sense that from the marketing, and so I think, you know, probably you know, I love my parents, They were great parents, and I think they were probably like, she's not ready, And honestly, at that time they may not have been ready to see I mean fair what took place. I will say, this is my first experience

Brag.

But you know where whenever something happened, you would just be like what, like, you know, would you say you were taken?

Aback?

I was taken in?

Were you snaken a back?

I was? I was snaken in? I was snaken the back? I was snaken to another place?

Can you snake me higher?

You win?

You win, you win, that's you win. Remember that Creed song I do.

Uh wow, now we're really in two thousand and six. Yeah, but like watching this at home on Peacock at one am is how this movie is best watched outside of in a full theater. In two thousand and six, I had the best time watching this damn movie.

I'm so glad to hear that. Because I was watching it, I was like, oh no, I I might owe Jamie an apology for insisting not necessary do this. But I was only doing it because because all the listeners again demanded we we cover this. It had nothing to do with my personal no desire to cover this.

No, absolutely not, and I but no, no, no, you know I think that it's it was brave of you to because I took some convincing. But I'm just I'm so glad that we finally took the leap. What's your history with Snakes a Plane?

I saw this movie in theaters jealous in two thousand and six. I went with my best friend at and oh boy, we we just had quite a time, and we had an even better time. I think with the credits song the.

Wait tell me more, basically just.

That we would play it all the time, okay, and kind of your I Frankensteed, Yeah, it might be. I watched the video to the Cobra Starship song Oh my God, that was written for this movie, and the song is called Snakes on a Plane parentheses bring it. I think I should know because I listened to it. I don't know, but I just thought it was the best song of two thousand and six, and I watched the music video on repeat. I also had like a crush everybody in the video.

Wait, what was the music video? Like I this is Uh, I'm out of my depth here.

Oh my god, I have not seen the to you to make sure they start.

Playing music video? Should I pull it up?

Yeah? Maybe it is. Basically I watch it's four members of Cobra Starship.

Uh, and what was their big was their big hit? Good Girls Go Bad? Or Am I thinking of a different I make them good?

Literally only know about this band in relation to this song.

I'm right. Oh, I kind of hate that. I'm right. They Yeah, they did Good Girls Go Bad?

Okay, Okay, the music video is just the members of the ban because I think there's been various members of this musical group. The Ones featured in the music video is Gabe Support of William Beckett of the Academy, is Traviy McCoy of Jim Class Here.

Oh, Travy McCoy. Yeah, sorry, I love Taving McCoy.

And then Maya iverson of the sounds. Not familiar with that group, but anyway, it's like this amalgamation of different musicians from different other bands.

And then I'm oh, so it's Cobra Starship is a supergroup. I guess I didn't. I don't know anything about it.

I don't know anything about it either.

I just knew they were on like the Gossip Girl sidetrack or something. Okay, so I'm watching it on mute right now. Yeah, I'm getting the side part vibes, the side part vibes, the wallet chains. Yeah, everyone's killing it. Wow. I love young Travy McCoy. I don't know anything about him from the last fifteen years. Hopefully he is in a bad person, but you know, with two thousand and six, we just don't know.

We just simply we just don't know. Anyway. Wait, this music video is fun and the song slaps so hard.

All the outfits are so ugly. Everyone, I mean It's so wild looking back to it, because like, just this whole decade is just full of some of the most rancid, bizarro ways you could possibly dress up a person. I look at pictures of myself in high school, and I was like, why do I look older than I currently am? Like I was wearing you know, like sensible vests, but also like a push up bra that was like lying

It was a confusing time. Yeah, and all this to say, I saw this, I would call it a cinematic masterpiece in theaters and I really just felt the weight of it. And I've been carrying that weight around for and it's time to following nineteen years.

It's time to you know, release.

Really, this episode's gonna be very cathartic. It's gonna finally give me that chance to release, to release the venom that has been coursing through my veins from this movie for nineteen years.

Which in the movie I associate with Venom. Is that horrible Eminem song that he did for the credits of the movie Venom, a movie I haven't seen, but I think that the end like like you with this song, the end credit song by Eminem to Veminem is so funny because it is eighty percent him being He goes like venim meim met him, met him, and that's like most of the song.

I need to listen to this.

It just cracks me up. It was on the radio for forty five seconds because it was like one of the most annoying because you know, and it's like an Eminem He's like, look out because I'm gonna hit you. Look out because I am scary. And then wait, the most half assed song I've ever heard in my life is great.

Okay, consider this Eminem vmin M Venomon.

Vanomenamminemm venomin m Yeah, venomenon.

Pretty cool.

All right, we can end the show now we figured it out.

Goodbye.

So okay, you have a kind of beautiful connection with this movie, I would say, so it does seem like you and JT. Artist snakes in a plane as me and my friend Jake are to I Frankenstein in a way. I mean, have you rewatched it very much?

No? This that was my only time seeing it.

Okay, so I guess that's the difference. That's maybe the difference since I've seen I forgot Sam probably twenty ten. Yeah, okay, but this, I mean, I'm excited to talk about the history of this movie, but it is such a dense text that I feel like, you know, we should probably just get into it. Get into it. Yeah. This movie was also originally called Venom.

It was, and then it got changed to some like clunky title like Pacific Airways Flight one twenty one, and then Samuel L. Jackson demanded that they change it back to Snakes on a Plane because that was the working title, which was like, I love that, surely going to get changed, and then he was like, no, you motherfuckers, change it back to snakes on a Plane.

And it's also Samuel Jackson's uh not fault accomplishment that this movie is are not PG. Thirteen because he's like, there cannot be a single there can't be just one fuck in this movie. Because I need to say this line I love like I because the way I'd seen this movie framed in I don't even know. I mean, I can't even single out a specific moment, but it's like, oh, this is like a fun, campy kind of flop moment for Sam Jackson. But when I heard him talk about it,

I don't know what you mean, because it's the best movie ever made.

But they all think they're in Citizen Kane, and they are. It's what I'm saying, Yes, yes, yes, exactly.

Okay, let's take a quick break, a quick snake break. Ooh scary, and we'll be right back. Okay, we're back from our snake break, and here is the recap of snakes on a plane. We open in Hawaii. There's a dude riding around on a motocross bike and he comes upon a man who's hanging upside down from a tree. He's all bloodied, and some bad guy, including a famous mobster, named Eddie kim Okay.

I already have so much to say because this first scene, I was already like, this is gonna be so such an awesome movie to watch because it is the first ten minutes well, I don't even know. The first five minutes of this movie is just.

Motocross, motocross and surfing. Yeah.

Yeah, And you're like, and I guess the sort of question is who is that. I was like, if this is Sam Jackson, I'm gonna freak out. But it wasn't him. It's actually some guy who I will refer to throughout the episode as not James Marston, because to me, it is very clear that that was the vibe they were

Have read the script and he's like, this is actually too good. I will not do it justice and I should just step away.

I should give it to some Australian guy, which is what happened. Yeah, but yeah, I don't know who can account for what happened. I love that part of the reason Sam Jackson did this movie is because he did not read the script.

You agreed to it based on the title.

He did based on the title and the director who did not end up directing it, So he kind of got hoodwinked into doing this. But okay, the first scene, the amount of expositional dialogue, which is like one of my favorite things to see in a B movie. I watched the first the opening scene twice because, first of all, this Australian actor Nathan Phillips. I don't know anything about him.

I hope you know.

I'm sure he's a nice guy. I'm not even sure he's a nice guy, but he's a you know whatever. I don't know a thing about him. But consistently throughout this movie, I don't know if they this actor has difficulty looking scared, but he never seems scared enough for me. Like he sees a horrific like a guy falls from a bridge and he goes like that is it, And that's about like the peak of fear that this performance has.

Also, this thing with Eddie Kim played by an actor named Brian Lawson. By the way, he was great.

I loved every second of him.

Amazing. In this world, Eddie Kim is the most famous person. He is like a list celebrity. Everyone knows who this mobster is. He is world renowned. Anytime someone says, oh, yeah, I'm testifying against Eddie Kim, they're like, oh my god, I know exactly who that is, and that's so scary.

The two celebrities in this world are Eddie Kim and three G's Three G's Yeah, not three G's, poor three G's. I like the actor who had to play him. I mean, yeah, yes, the germophobic rapper three G's, which is a fun concept. But we'll circle back to.

Three G's get there. For now, we're on Eddie Kim. He shows up to kill mister Prosecutor, who I guess was like trying to take down Eddie Kim and his associates.

But then again, Eddie Kim was raised by a single mom.

Yeah right, okay, So Eddiekim kills the prosecutor. The motocross dude his name is Sean played by Nathan Phillips. He witnesses this, and so he bails by running away on his very noisy motorcycle that all the other mobsters notice. So they the minions, Sorry is how I should address them. Eddie Kim's minions go looking for Sean and they're about to break into his apartment, and.

He was again is really failing to look appropriately afraid of what's happening to him. He's just again like I kept I kept putting the movie because I was watching it with Grant last night, and I kept putting the movie on mute and try to like score this guy's performance because if you put it on mute and you just make the hand like that's that's what he's evoking. Yeah, there's literally armed hitman at his door, and he's like ah, oh no, oh no, doesn't move away from the door,

It's interesting. Yeah, So he does try to eventually like get out of his apartment when who appears but FBI agent Neville Flynn played by Samuel L. Jackson, and we're like, yes, he rescues Sean and brings him in for questioning and tells Sean that he needs to fly to LA to testify against Eddie Kim so that they can throw him in jail. And Sean's like, I don't know, sounds dangerous. There might be snakes on the plane from Hawaii to LA.

And they're like, hmm, no, that would never happen.

That would never in a million years.

Yeah.

So we cut to the Honolulu airport. Several passengers are waiting to board a plane that may or may not have snakes on it. Passengers include a rapper named three G's.

This reminded me so much of have you I forget? I'm gonna make us do it for my birthday month if I remember. But have you seen Old.

Old No? I still have not.

There's a I would say worst written famous rapper character in that movie.

Sure.

The character's name is mid Size Sedan. Oh my gosh, I remember, yes, And he is not a rapper with germophobia. He's a rapper with hemophilia. And so you can see how like cinema INFLUENCEDS cinema. And I just thought that that would be an important thing to point out. But I was, you know, just a really broadly poorly written rap character by the least cool man, and I mean

He wrote a song that seems to be about making that bootygo thump.

Oh, booty go thump.

Of course, bootygo thump, and I respect him for it.

I just you can just like hear the two like. I was actually surprised that the men who wrote this movie were younger than I thought. They're in their early thirties. I was like, then, why does this dialogue so like they? When three gus is introduced, and also Keenan Thompson is one of his longtime friends Slash Security detail, they call him like the Howard Hughes of rap, and I'm like, who is that line for? I don't like that's that line is for a very old man, Like why are

Here's my theory. The Keenan Thompson character whose name is Troy, I believe his favorite movie is The Aviator. So he's just like watching The Aviator right and left. He knows all about Howard Hughes, and he's he's just making references to that whenever he can.

Oh, I mean that is true, he is the Aviator. But like I was trying to learn about the screenwriters of this movie, one is quite easy to learn about Sebastian Gutierres, who would have been He's written movies too, mostly not loved movies like gothaka Snake's claim. In any case, he was fairly young. I mean he was in his like And also he's married to Carla Guzino, who is amazing Wait.

From Spy Kids. Yes, wait, Also I just realized, so The Aviator, Yeah, Keenan Thompson.

He's not in that right, No, no, no, but okay.

His whole thing is that later he flies the plane.

I was gonna say, I thought that was what you were saying, That that was I planned and payoff that he knows about aviation. But then the twist is he actually doesn't.

He doesn't. We'll get there, but no, the joke I was trying to make is that The Aviator is about Howard Hughes. So that's why he's like dropping that specific reference. Yeah, you know, that's why this text is so deep and heavy and difficult to talk about.

We can't pretend to have the answers. No, but Sebastian Gutierrez he is a Venezuelan writer director and he was in his early thirties when this came out. Like, the Howard Hughes line is not clocking for me from him. The other writer is John Heffernan, but it's hard. I know that he passed away in twenty seventeen, but I don't know when he was born. And this is the only movie he ever worked on. Wow, which is kind

Time anyways, That's how long it takes to write a masterpiece. In any case, We've met three g's, the rapper and his entourage to bodyguards, one of whom is Keenan Thompson, one of whom is another guy we meet them. We meet Mercedes played by Rachel Blanchard, who I recognize Flight to the Concords.

I recognize her from Peep Show. Okay, she's uh yeah, she is above this. But I have to feel like the comedy actors, the comedy character actors we see in this, I feel like I have to be in on the joke, especially David ken Love, and he really makes a meal of the.

Part of Rick Oh yeah.

Yeah.

His whole character is he loves to sexually harass the flight attendants.

And that is literally his Nevertheless, he persisted moments where he's on the verge of death, but he's like, but even on the verge of death, I can still sexually harass my coworker and you're like, wow, question.

Yeah, So he's there. Mercedes is there with her little dog.

Which because there was I'm so sorry there, but I feel like every horror movie during this era had a Paris Hilton insert parody character, and that is yes, yeah.

She's there with her dog. There's a very rude British man. He'll get his come upance, don't you worry.

Julian Margley's zionist piece of shit is in the chat as well, but she's brunette, so she's gonna make it right.

She's one of the flight attendants along with Tiffany. There is a queer coded flight attendant, a man named Ken, and then there's also an older woman named Grace. Those are all the flight attendants. We also meet the co pilot Rick played by David Keckner. There's a couple on their honeymoon. There's a different couple who are very horny for each other. There's a young mother with a baby. There are two kids, brothers who are flying alone without their parents, and I.

Love that they go out of their way to be like and not just any parents. A soldier, You're.

Like, Okay, who was on the plane? How was he allowed to be on the plane? And then I guess he got off before the flight took off.

Like, I think that a lot of the a lot of I mean this movie, being on a plane is very inconsistent, I think because there's scenes that literally look ripped off from Titanic, people trying to get up a staircase, which planes famously don't usually have.

There I think are some like really fancy ones that have like the first class. I've never been on a plane like that.

I was like, I had to google it. I was like, is this made up? But like I really. Something I thought was interesting about this movie is that once you know how long it was in development, it makes sense because clearly some plots of this are about plane travel ostensibly before nine to eleven, and many are about after

You have Lost toys.

I see those, you know those? My niece loves them, like little Fisher Price little People toys. They made a collector's Lost set and it's literally just baby Lost.

Uh huh, it's cute.

I have Baby Hurley here, Baby Jack, Baby Kate, and of course baby John Locke, my favorite character. Anyways, this was a very popular I was trying to like contextualize

I don't remember that character Unlost having a baby.

He was important Aaron Aaron the baby and then the others stole erin and then Dominic Monaghan had to go save the baby.

Oh, because he had a crush on Claire. Is that her name on Clare?

Yeah, that's how she said her name. She's Australian, right she was?

Okay? Was she the one who was like the sister to the Ian summerholder character or is that a different pairing of people.

No, that's the other blonde. This is the thing talking about of me? No, No, this is a This is a and it's nothing against the actors. But this is like, oh my god, watching movies from really most times. But the number of blondes in this movie is quite staggering, and also the like horror movie tropes associated with the blondes,

That's the tiffanyru You're being validated.

By a man. Tiffany, I'm assuming anyone over forty will die. But but then the first woman who dies is the blondest, most skimpily clad, horny person on the planet. Yeah, so they're like, we need to find the blondest woman alive and then kill her, kill her via a nipple butt. It was just wild. Anyways, what's happening in the movie? I just I'll tell you. He is a very rich text.

It's so rich. So we've met most of the cast. Meanwhile, in the cargo hold, there is a man, a bad boy, a minion of famous mobster Eddie Kim, and he's spraying this box of lays, not the.

Chips, the flower.

Necklasts, the flower, yes exactly, And he's saying, these pheromones are gonna make these guys go crazy. And we're like, these guys, do you mean the snakes that are on the plane and he and that's what he means. Yeah. The flight starts boarding with Sean and Agent Flynn and another FBI guy, agent Sanders. I think I couldn't figure out who that was.

All I know about him is that, like he is Sam Jackson's friend, and he's also divorced, and that is what bonds them as adult man. Like they're like, we're both.

Divorced, they're both bad partner.

I die for him. You're like, okay, whatever, maybe that's not that make friends. I don't know, no idea.

So the three of them are the only people in first class since like whatever, Sean has to be protected or something, and so everyone else has to be moved to coach. They've all been given a lay that was riddled with snake pheromones, even though those lays were in the cargo hole. But now when they're being given them, like as they board the plane, they're in the airport.

Yeah, uh so there's some This is not going to pass a basic snuff test of logic, which is fine for a B movie, but the specific examples are very funny.

Yeah, if B movie stands for beautiful, brilliant.

Beautiful movie movie. My favorite bizarro plot hole is mid plane crash in two thousands six. Sam Jackson is able to send a high resolution photo via email from his slip phone. Yeah, I love movie.

That was awesome. Yeah it was great. Okay, So the flight takes off and after a short while, a mechanism is triggered in the cargo hold once the plane reaches an altitude of thirty five thousand feet. So I reminded me of speed where oh the bus goes fifty miles an hour that you know, triggers the bomb whatever.

So this triggers the snakes.

This one triggers the snakes, and so a whole slew of snakes on the plane starts slithering out from somewhere. Meanwhile, back in the cabin of the plane, everyone is horny. We got three G's and Mercedes flirting. We've got the horny couple going into the bathroom to have sex, something that the flight attendants think is awesome. They're like, who you go.

Girl, which I was like, I uh, you know, I've never worked as a flight attendant. I have one friend who's a flight attendant. But that would have been like a weird text descent to be like, do you guys love when people?

I think I think they don't love it at all.

I would I think it's safe to assume, absolutely not.

And I think it's probably illegal to have sex in the bathroom of all plane.

Sure, But also I'm thinking, if I'm a flight attendant, I'm like, unless it's posing a danger, I'm not going to file a report, Like just please.

Get out of the bathroom. I don't know what I would do in that situation, but you know, suffice it to say that these flight attendants love so.

The Mile High Club. If you're if your goal is to join the Mile High Club, like you know, grow up, grow yeah, get a you know, dream bige, come on, okay, so grow up, get them Okay.

So everyone's horny and they're releasing pheromones of their own. Yeah, I don't know if it affects the snakes are not.

But also as a young Taylor Kitsch is the guy who I who's that didn't recognize? Well, thankfully I had a man in the house to tell me he was in Friday Night Lights, which I never would have known, and he was also in a True Detective season two. I mean, he's a pretty famous actor, but this is like I think one of his early roles as like he was also in John Tucker Must Die.

This year.

I think he had had to sort of serve in the trenches of himbo roles before he got real actor roles.

I see, okay, and.

Good for him, But do I care?

No? No, Okay, So we got all these CGI snakes slithering through the plane. We are seeing things sometimes through their green snake eye vision, which which.

I did not fact check, but it literally looks like, oh does snakes look like a snake vision? Like also looking through a gun like it like like infrared a sniper like. Maybe I didn't look it up because I assumed the movie didn't look it up.

So I don't know the movie didn't look up anything. Yeah, I think, yeah, Okay, So there's like an enormous number of snakes slithering throughout the plane. No one notices that they're right there, They're under their feet, they're in their purses, they're going up a lady's dress.

Well, in their defense, the snakes are computer giants. So the actors made, you know, I think the actors I made to be looking about like they're doing a bad job when they in fact were just never told where the CGI snakes are going to be, right, I fully believe there's full sequences where they're like, just be asleep

Anyways, Yes, So then a snake who's on the plane attacks the horny couple that are having sex in the bathroom. Another snake on the plane comes out of a toilet of a different bathroom and bites a man's penis.

Now, this is I've seen a lot of criticism around this food and I don't know where to fall on it, Like where this is like one of the first movies that was really influenced by Internet humor. But I see, I personally find out to be a stretch because B movies have always been kind of influenced by lowest common denominator kind of oh for sure. So I wasn't bothered by it, but I did. The early kills in this

Did not notice that I think he did.

And then he jumps on and then he says, fucking bitch, get off my dick. Is what he says to the snake that's killing He.

Says the snake who is biting his dick off. Maybe contrary to popular belief, I think that when a man says hi, big boy to his penis that passes the Bechdel test.

I see, the only time I would be saying hi, big boy is when I'm walking into Bob's Big Boy in Burbank, California. I'm passing the statue and I say hi, big boy because that's his name. Yeah, but I did wonder. I was like, Wow, you know cis masculinity is so twisted. Yeah, any any any listeners say, hi, big boy, will they pee? And if not, you know, let us know if it's fun, Hi big boy. No, how's my big boy?

Which is even weird, how's my big boy?

Initiating our conversation. Yeah, that was never answered because that Penis was not long for this world. Usually I've assumed that Penis would answer, Yeah, the early kills I thought were the best, the kills they sort of got, except for one that we'll come back to. The British guy.

Oh sure, yes, yes, yes, that was good. Yeah. Okay, so the snakes are attacking, but it's like little by little at first. Here we also see some snakes bite some of the wiring. Yeah, which causes a bunch of like electrical failures on the plane, which like sort of doesn't really do any or didn't do anything. That was clear to me because every time the plane starts crashing, it's because the pilot is dead.

Right, But then that has always resolved by like when someone would it's a big me laugh and not to be overly didatic because it's.

The B movie.

But without fail, anytime the plane was crashing, it would be resolved by someone who knew how to fly a plane, be like put autopilot back on, and I was like, surely they're in touch with base camp or whatever. I'm like, why didn't they just say do that if that is gonna solve Like even when David character almost comes back from the dead, he literally like just put auto pilot on? Why don't they just do that? Like how do Sam

One might think you know.

That the minions can land a plane better than these guys. Think about that.

I do reference that later in my notes. Yeahk god, thank god, Fret not Jamie. Okay, good, Okay, So the snakes, the snakes are emerging. The pilot, not David Keckner, because I think he's like the co pilot, the mister official pilot who is an actor who I recognize from exactly one scene from Josie and the Pussycats. Oh, he's the guy who I think he might be FBI, but he like comes in to pretend to bust escentially.

Have no fucking clue who was who in this thing? Like I also was like, I again, this is I don't know, but I was surprised that the FBI was, Like I thought you had to be subtle about that, you know, I didn't know you were like, we're the FBI, clear first class. I'm like, does it is? I thought that that would introduce like a safety vulnerability.

Right, shouldn't they be more covert? Remindminds me of that that part in point break where Keanu's character who's supposed to be undercover is like loudly introducing himself with his like full real name, is like not being covert at all.

I'm just like, no, Like it's you know, and we're supposed to believe this is the government agency that has gotten away with killing MLK for half a century. I don't think so, Like you gotta be a little better

That, right, there's another Oh my gosh, I forgot it's Kate.

Yeah.

Wow, Okay, there's a movie. Is it Midnight Run? I always get this movie confuse with another movie. I think it is Midnight Run, where like the whole premise of that is. I think it's Robert de Niro's he's the agent and Charles Grodin is the like criminal or whatever under custody. And I don't remember what else happens in that movie. It's been a really long time since I've seen it. But yeah, there's whole movies with this premise anyway. Okay, So the pilot he's in chosing the Pussycats as well.

Snake really make you wait for that line, They really do.

But honestly, when it happens.

It's worth it. Oh it's worth it, You're like, and that is why Sam Jackson is a movie star.

Yeah, precisely. Okay, So a snake bites the pilot and he dies, and the crew is like, darn well, let's keep petting to La. We're over halfway.

There that Okay, yes, I have I have notes on just the bizarre. I'm like, they must have shot this absurdly out of order. I'm wondering how many script changes happened because the lack of reaction. There's a David Kector read that just cracked me up. Wait where is it? I have so many notes? Oh yeah, he first, like the David. I think it's Rick, who's like I've worked with him for decades.

Yeah, a decade.

And then and then just is soullessly may day, may day, may day, he has suffered a fatal heart attack. We're gonna keep flying. You're just like, okay. And then there's like just these matter of matter of fact readings that made me laugh so much. Eddie somehow managed to fill the plane with poisonous snakes. And you're like, yeah, sure, because we haven't even gotten to Bobby Canavale. No, Bobby Canavale, the poor an addict.

Oh is he? I didn't know that about him.

That's for a while, the only thing we know about him is they're like, what are you doing watching his character? Not his Oh I don't. I don't know anything about it. Sorry, I mean his character Loves is not catching astray from me. I don't know a thing about him. Love just working it. Tanya, Oh, sure, he's in it for about one minute. But yeah, his character. I was like, he also seems everyone's kind of in on.

The joke here, I hope.

So he later says the line that's gonna leave a mark. I'm like, he can't think this is going to be a career to finding you know.

You never know. Okay, so let's see the pilots dead. Just then tons of snakes on the plane attack all at once. A bunch of people get bitten and die immediately. These are mostly like extras who we haven't really met. We don't know them. Yes, but one of the little boys we do know gets bitten. One of three G's bodyguards gets bitten, the one who isn't Keenan Thompson on the.

Ass ass introduced homophobic two thousand and six.

Side plot, Yes exactly. Let's see the woman with the baby gets knocked unconscious. There's a part where the flight attendant, Grace, she's the older one who's like about to retire, kind of sacrifices herself to save the young woman's baby. Because old women.

Are disposable and must die for the young. I really loved Grace was a fun character. They did her dirty, I know.

Meanwhile, Flynn is like zapping the snakes with his taser. He's got so many weapons wand board. You know he's FBI, but he brought all his weapons on the plane into the cabin.

Again, very like pre nine to eleven plot point there.

Right, Eventually, the survivors who didn't die from this like initial burst.

Of attacks, mostly blonde women.

Lots of blonde women, they managed to kind of like barricade themselves into one area of the plane and block the snakes using a bunch of luggage.

I really, I mean again, you know, he couldn't have known, but it is very bone chilling, saying like his first suggestion being like we need to build a wall. You're like that line is going to age extraordinarily poorly. Yeah, and also the fact that he's an FBI agent with a million weapons and that's his best idea. But whatever, it seems to work.

It takes them forever to get the idea to go upstairs into first class.

But then it's like Titanic, like it's the end of the tame. They're like, ah, they cannot get upstairs in an orderly fashion. The stairs break. It's like, it's ridiculous.

It's awesome.

Yeah, all right.

It's around this time when the other FBI agent Sanders dies from a snake bite. Also, he declares earlier his fear of snakes. Yeah, so this is an especially bad trip for him, and then he dies.

I love those moments in horror movies. We also get a similar moment with Grace where they're like he was my best friend. You're like okay. Like same with David Kackner and the Pilot, You're like, well, I'm sorry, I feel nothing at all, Like I don't know who this person is.

Because the movie treats Agent Sanders death like it's this deeply tragic moment that the audience is going to have to like really pause and contemplate. But we're like, who is who the fuck is this guy? Again? I don't know him?

The three deaths, I think we were supposed to feel a way about where like the Pilot, the Partner and Grace, and Grace was the only one and that was strictly on the performance where I thought that was a very charming performance, what a cool lady too bad she.

Died, So okay. Then Samuel L. Jackson uses the airplane telephone to call his FBI buddy on the ground, this is Harris, and tell him that famous mobster Eddie Kim put all of these snakes on the plane in order to bring the plane down to kill Sean so that he can't testify against him in court.

Amazing plan, to which again Bobby cana Valley has like absurdly no reaction to, Like He's like, oh God, that sucks. I paused his scene because we're told a bunch of like Bobby canna Valley's stock character information where they're like he's addicted to poor and he hates his children.

And hates his children.

I paused his office to be like, what are we supposed to be alread to hear? He has like a bunch of bobbleheads of I think one was George W. Bush. I think he had the Declarty of Independence framed in his office. I'm like, what am I supposed to be

Yeah, I see it, I see it. That guy's about to show up, but yeah, before that happens, the young mother knows how to suck venom out of a snake bite. Oh my god, so she does this for that little boy who got bitten.

Which of course has made a sex joke.

Oh my gosh, austing three gs entourage see her administering like medical care to a child, and they're like, child hubba hubba a wooga, I want her to suck me like that.

Meanwhile, this same character has refused help from a man he thinks is gay, because fellas, is it gay to survive a snake bite? Like just really ridiculous two thousand and six nonsense going on, truly.

So meanwhile, Bobby Kinavale gets to work on finding a snake expert. This guy, doctor Stephen Price aka VI expert to k who figures out that there must be something provoking the snakes to cause them to be so aggressive, a pheromone perhaps, And I feel like.

He's like I felt Jurassic Parky a little bit.

Kind of well because there's such an emphasis on like female reptiles, because he's like, well, female snakes emit a pheromone and it makes the males very aggressive. So it's like, okay, great, blame everything.

On creat the girl snakes somehow became women's fault, and we got there. Yeah, I think there's a concept of I feel like it almost ties into like, and this is again very cis normative, but there are so many sis men who write these kinds of movies, of like the gigantic number of pussy monsters we see in horror movies, and and just using pheromones, like female pheromones as a weapon also just feels very like seems like more of a you prob that we see pop up in specifically genre movies a lot.

Sure, it's like, take the idea of the fem fatal, apply it to snakes on a plane. Come on, bam, you've got.

A movie at very least oh single woman fights a snake. Everyone else needs a boyfriend, but Claire evil Zionus. Claire does fight a snake and then I we'll get to the love story.

Because I was.

Baffled by that. I was like, oh, I did not see that coming. I was not into I was not into it.

Yeah. I have a whole spiel on that as well. Yeah, okay, So so the snake expert is figuring different things out and they need to find a way to show this expert what kinds of snakes are on board so he can figure out what like types of anti venom to get.

And also I'm like, I honestly I could I couldn't tell you, but I'm like, I was unclear if the power on the plane was even working at that point.

I think it wasn't. I think that the snakes had chewed through the electricity.

I really loved that plot hole. I thought that plot hole was iconic. No no accounting for it. Ten out of ten amazing.

Then the flight attendant Claire discovers that the co pilot Rick, this is the David Keckner character, is incapacitated and no one's flying the plane and it's nose diving into the ocean. So Claire and agent Flynn have to step in and try to pull the plane back up. Allah that scene from Minions to.

Exactly as Minions did it better Manian had more chemistry with each other.

Oh, let's be honest, seriously. Yeah, okay. So meanwhile the barricade of like just suitcases stacked on each other.

Amazing plan, good job.

You won't believe it, but it falls apart.

Your tax dollars at work everybody.

And all the snakes are coming through and attacking people again, including like the honeymoon couple. That mean British guy feeds Mercedes little dog to the snakes, but the he gets like.

Mary Kate, I think like Twins. I was like, it's just so two thousand and six, it's exhaustive. The I loved the rich guy death where the snake I mean, because it had been a while since we'd had a good snake death at that true thought. It was mostly just like Oi Oi Oi and then we get the rich guy's swallowed whole via his head awesome.

By what I would call a big boy snake.

Yeah, how's my big boy? Well, well he's he's hungry and he's eating the mean man. I do appreciate that he gets like instant karma killed, yes, because he like feeds the dog to the snakes. But then he immediately gets eaten by very satisfying something boa constrictor.

I don't fucking I was like, could that have even happened? I literally do not know, and I none of my business.

Yeah, we're not scientists. Yeah, okay, So then everyone finally goes upstairs to first class again unclear why they didn't think of this earlier because that seems like a pretty good idea.

And empty for like an hour.

Yeah, then David Keector comes back to life and starts piloting the plane again. He's like, oh, I'm fine.

Yeah, He's like, I'm fine, and then he's like, sure, you don't want to take your top off, babe, and she's like, Rick, you're still yourself and he's like but then like he puts the plane on auto pilot. Why don't they just keep doing that? I don't know, I you know, viewed as camp. That is an amazing moment in the movie. I wonder so ridiculous.

I wonder if autopilot is sort of like cruise control on a car. I don't know what autopilot does. Any listeners, you know.

I don't know, and including if Keenan Thompson listening, well he is, and he's anything like this character. If he doesn't, he doesn't know either, so he.

Doesn't, okay. In the meantime, on the ground, Bobby Canavale and the snake expert discover that most of the snakes on the plane are indigenous to other continents, which means that nearby hospitals wouldn't have the anti venom for those snakes, and there's only one person nearby who would have what they need, so they head to that guy's house in the desert. Back on the plane, this is when Grace, the flight attendant dies, So it's.

Sad and there's all a lot of very like Hokey. We learned this about Claire. It's her last flight before she becomes a lawyer, and Grace is like it was I just had to do one last flight from Honolulu to la I'm like for what But anyways, she dies.

It reminded me of Captain E. J. Smith on the Titanic that was his last.

It's a classic. I mean, it's a good trope to be like, you know or whatever though, like it's my last case and that's.

Before I retire, Before I retire.

That's like basically what Grace is doing. But then she gets snaked. Sad but true, and then we learn that Tiffany and her were really good friends. Question Mark. We do not see that. I would have it would have made more sense if the like male flight attendant was grieving her because we only see them together, but we don't really get to see how he feels about it.

Yeah, okay. We also see a moment where three G's goes berserk and he's like waving a gun around, but he calms down and he apologizes. Also, the air conditioning has stopped working on the.

Plane, which is why he becomes so as homicides. I think it's like implied that they're maybe running out of air, and he's a germophobe, so like he wants fresh air. But he's like, I'm gonna kill someone if I don't get fresh air. You're like three gees sir.

Yeah, yeah, it's really goofy, and I would say it's extremely goofy.

In fact, I agree.

Okay, so the air conditioning isn't working, so Samuel L. Jackson has to go down into the cargo hold to reset the breakers, which, if you're if you're wiring has been chewed through by snakes. I don't know how. It's not like that they tripped the breaker. Resetting the breaker wouldn't do anything.

Oh, I hadn't even thought about that. Well, in this world it does. And this is also the moment where it becomes like clear that he and Claire are vibing climbing. It wasn't work because she was like, no, let me go with you. I was like, what, Like, I know, I thought it was more of a like a paternal thing, but apparently it's a fucky thing.

I did not sense that it was supposed to be romantic until the very end when they're like, let's get dinner later.

I have to believe that was added because it was just like the no. I mean, you know, Sam Jackson handsome, charming man, but it just like there was nothing planted that made that make sense. The age gap felt very weird. I was like, I don't believe this for a second.

Who knows. Any Way, Samuel L. Jackson goes to find the breakers in a scene that feels very similar to a scene in Jurassic Park where Samuel L. Jackson has to go and reset the breakers.

Oh my god, and it's also Samuel Jackson.

It's also him.

Wow.

Although in Jurassic Park he dies doing this via being attacked by reptiles, and in Snakes on a Plane he lives and the reptiles don't kill him.

That didn't even occur to me. So that was a moment that that was for the fans.

That yeah, I think so. I wonder if that was supposed to be an homage, but I don't know. Anyway. Back on the ground, Bobby Canavale goes to the like snake smuggler dude to get all the I don't know if they even get the anti venoms from him, but they just get a list they.

Get literally, he's like, I need a list of the snakes on the plane. You're like what, And then the guy's like, I swear, here's the list, and he's like all right, thank you, and then he's fine, Like it just was I loved it. I loved it the Bobby Canivale sections, and they gave him so many goofy lines in this sequence where they're like, what are you doing, He's like, my job, and then and then he like shoots the guy or whatever. He's like, that's good to

Yeah, sorry, it's not doing it for me either. But anyway, now that they have this list of snakes, they're like, whow, everything's gonna be a okay, and so everyone kind of just like breathe a sigh of relief. The sun is coming up because by the way, this has been a red eye flight the whole time, right, But then they realize that the co pilot, David Keckner, died again and

Almost kills everybody and then goes to a safe area with Keenan Thompson like, he just leaves everyone for dead, including children, including a baby. Right, you couldn't have brought a couple. You could have brought the kids with you into the cockpit. They're like, no, best of Yeah.

They don't have the strength to hang on. Best of luck in there, right, because what they do is they literally shoot holes in the plane with Samuel L. Jackson's FBI gun, which makes all the snakes go flying out. Everyone has to hang on for dear life. And then Keenan Thompson successfully lands the plane, even though we find out that the quote unquote flight experience he has has all been via playing video games on PlayStation two.

And this is kind of a fun moment. Keenan seems to be having a good time. I hope so, because otherwise was he doing here and yeah, they land the plane just like the Minions did in sam Panpisco.

That's so true, Jamie.

Thanks. Remember when I said that at our show in San Francisco and it got less than nothing. It was like just a black hole of reaction. If you're at that show, you should have laughed. Do you really let me down in that moment? That that didn't feel good? And I think about it often.

I'm sorry. I I think I reacted you.

Oh you you laugh. I was like woooo yeah, which almost emphasized how no one else was laughing because he said woo. But I needed I needed to do in that moment you were there.

I really tried to be there for you.

I know.

Okay, Well, they don't land in San pan Pisco in this movie. They Oh how would the Minion say Los Angeles? Oh?

I feel like they'd be like how so true?

So true, And that's where they land the plane. Various first responders are there to administer anti venom, and the survivors, you know, they safely get off the plane. But just as Sean remember him, No, he's about to get off the plane, but a snake bites him on the chest. So Samuel al Jackson shoots the snakes slash Sean's chest, which is fine because Sean was wearing a bulletproof vest the whole time.

And then he's now he's Tiffany's boyfriend.

Right. There's a bunch of like forced hetero romances at the very end, including a huge, big twist that Ken, the flight attendant who the movie kept implying was probably gay, has a beautiful girlfriend and he's straight after all.

And everyone, like all of his coworkers are like whoa. But it was implied that they knew each other quite well. I'm like, right, did they not know that he was in like long term relationship? Also, like this is way beside the boy But how did she get down to the tarmac? Like that's a good that's a pre nine to eleven thing. Yeah, yes, whatever, yeah whatever, you know, that's not what this is about.

No, And then the movie ends with Sean and Samuel Willow Jackson surfing together in BALI question mark because that's what Sean had been talking about wanting to do. The end.

Yay, I loved it. I guess let's take it. We've been taken a break in an hour and a half, we've.

Been recording for so long already and we haven't even started. But yeah, it's time for another snake break.

And we're back. We're back from the snake break. How is your savait? How's my big boy?

Your big boy if you mean me?

Hm?

Great? Oh good? How's my big boy?

I'm doing okay, I'm I'm so. I'm like, we've talked.

A lot about something.

Movie. I don't yeah, I've like it's like we're even to begin, Like, is this movie massages? Yes? Is this movie racist?

Yes?

Is this movie homophobic? Yes?

Is this movie agist yes? Yes? Is this movie fat phobic? Yes? Yes?

I can't really think of a single subversion.

That happens, no, nor I yeah. Most attempts at jokes in this movie are at the expense of a marginalized group.

I think that the most extreme, the most frustrating example of that to me, was the single woman of color, yeah who. We don't know what her nationality is, but she's the only woman of color. She's over forty, so we're already like, this isn't going to end well for her. She's not extremely thin, and so's she's made out to be an alcoholic, you know, knowing that you're watching a snake slasher a movie. You're like, this woman is going to be made to die in a very humiliating way,

Even before that, So when she's like boarding the plane, three G's fat shames her, right and then also fat shames his friend Keenan Thompson and like talks about the baby that they would make together, like it's just disgusting, and then yeah, she sits down, she takes out a flask and starts drinking from it. She's characterized as being so oblivious that she doesn't notice that a snake is

And they really drag it out too, like they it's multiple beats. We never learn anything about her. There might be an implication that she's native Hawaiian. I'm not totally sure. I just like any negative trope you could associate with any number of marginalized groups is present in this I think unnamed character because she's also traveling alone.

Correct.

I don't even know what else to say. I mean, that was like one of the things about this movie that I was like, this is like deeply gross.

Yeah, for sure.

And then outside of Sam Jackson, the only black characters that we get to know are a like very broadly written rapper and his two security guards. And so I think, I mean, I don't know, Sam Jackson makes one reference to race, not that I was like, I want this movie to have more commentary about race, Like, you know, I don't really that's not the job of Snakes on a plane right now. But Sam Jackson is just playing the stock FBI character he if nothing else, is not

Well, the snake expert really clearly lays this out, Jamie, where some of the snakes will kill you within minutes, others within hours, and even others you can recover from a venomous snake bite with just a good night's sleep.

It's almost like whatever the script requires can be possible. But he gets bitten on his ass, yes, and then there's this big homophobic beat of Ken, who's referred to on scholarly journal Wikipedia as an eccentric flight attendant, which I guess is that writer's way of saying queer coded. But in any case, you know, venom needs to be sucked out of a bite, but he's.

Like, no home like it. You know, if a man can't do it, that would be.

Too gay only for that character, that same character to like like hama and ahamadahamana over like you mentioned earlier, women sucking the venom out of a child snake bite, so you know, very bad broad riding.

Yes, yep, correct. I would say the way that Hawaii is depicted in the movie, it's only for a few minutes, but all we see is like touristy people doing touristy stuff. There are, from what I could tell, no depictions of Native Hawaiians or their community or culture, not that we know of. Yeah, so it's just like a few shots of like tourists surfing and then we get on a plane with snakes on it. But yeah, shit like that.

Loves every second it's It's so it's frustrating because it's nothing we haven't talked about on this show, but it is just like it feels like everything everything happens that could possibly happen, and I feel like, at least Keenan, I think Keenan's character gets a little more characterization strictly because it's Keenan. That was my theory because Keenan was

I mean in a different context that could be iconic, but is here not out not so much.

I also think the way that Asian actors were depicted was not great.

Especially with like Eddie Kim and his his minions.

Right, which is it's like, I mean, I honestly have just a wild dearth of information about Like, I just have no interest in crime movies, mafia movies. I know that, you know mafia movies. There's you know, people of all nationalities can be in gangs whatever. For me, what was clicking more was that whenever you would cut to Eddie Kim outside of crime activity, he was like doing karate.

It bizarre, definitely. David Kickner's character also makes that gross joke that's both racist and disparaging of sex workers. Oh maybe I missed that one that I won't repeat.

Blink and you'd miss an offensive thing happening in this movie. I mean, also, we've touched on this to some extent, but just the again, the very horror movie tropy approach to women. The only women of color, and I can't even say we get to know because she is mostly mocked in order to be established, and then is slowly killed in the most humiliating way they can think of. Yes, the rest of the women are blonde in different shades of blond, and they are killed or not killed in

Who gets damseled and then has to be saved by the kickboxing tournament.

Guys her boyfriend. Like every blonde who isn't killed is damseled at some point. I think the only one we see fight back is Claire, who is interestingly the only white brunette woman, which is just like so over the top ridiculous. It's also implied that she's the only woman with any ambitions outside of this, because we find out she's about to become a lawyer we know nothing about, which of course doesn't come back, but we know doesn't we're just told that.

Pay off in any way or anything.

But all of the other blonde women she's surrounded by appear to have either no backstory whatsoever outside of being horny or privileged or being a mother. So just all of these very stock character tropy things. I wanted to just take a quick moment to remind if you were not aware of Juliana Margulis, I just like, is just a very vile You can feel free to look up Juliana Margalise zionist comments if you would like your day absolutely ruined. Very unpleasant to see her pop up in

Like completely went over my head?

What did you think about that? I was just so not into it.

I do think it's worth pointing out that so the end, as we have hinted at, there are several hetero romances that are just wedged in at the very end. One is between Sean and the flight attendant named Tiffany. They kiss for some reason, and then he's like, yeah, i'll definitely see you later. Let's let's go out. I'll take

It reminds me of I think we talked about this originally in Bad Boys, which I know is not a two thousand Smivie either.

That are men in Black Men and Black Will Smith movies.

Yeah, where it's you know, I think that at first glance, it's like, oh, wow, this movie showed restraint, not really leaning into it. But then there is the racialized aspect to it. Yeah, I collecked that as well, and I'm not saying that that is not happening here. I very much believe that it could be. I just also but even story wise, it's hinted at so late in the movie between two characters who are objectively not vibing that.

I was like, you know what, I think they just like took they were they were using Speed as a playbook totally, and they were like, Okay, Keanu, he's the cop character. There's gonna be someone on the vehicle, whether it be a bus or a plane, who is gonna sort of emerge as the like prominent helper woman for Speed. It's Sandra Bullock's.

Character prominent helper woman. And then yeah, Juliana Markleys is kind of like CVS brand Sandra Bullock and I'm in many ways.

Yeah right, and then so she emerges as that character and the movie snakes on a plane, so it's like, well, yeah, of course she and the protagonists have to get together at the end. But they did nothing to earn that, Like, yeah, any moments that they were supposed to be vibing, I didn't pick up on it all, and it's also completely unnecessary, like the fact that it happens in speed I don't even mind because I'm like, sure, I'll look at Sandra Bullock and Kanu kiss and they have chemistry.

I think it is like it and it's clearly established early in the movie that they're attracted to each other, Right, Yeah, that's important, like like that is established.

Still unnecessary narratively.

But you know, totally, but at least you believe that the movie was building towards that this happened so abruptly that I wouldn't be surprised to hear that that happened in reshoots or like it was a studio note something like that, because it just felt I thought about that conversation that we had around blockbuster movies being historically hostile to interracial kisses, which it just feels like one of many problems with that attempted relationship because it's also so

I don't know, great question, Yeah, we don't know. Here's another some other questions I have, Okay, uh, okay. Samuel L. Jackson is describing a snake at one point to the snake expert, and he says it's brownish on top and green on the bottom. Meanwhile, the snake he's describing is so visibly blue and purple. There's no green, there's no brown. I don't know what I.

Didn't notice that. That's so funny. That's really great.

That was just a little question I had. What was happening there? Another question? Okay, So the young mother with a baby who removes the venom from the little boy's arm. She's explaining how to do it. She's like, yeah, you swish olive oil in your mouth to steal it from the poison, and then you suck the poison out. But then she just takes a gulp of the olive oil and swallows it. You'd imagine that she would swish it around and then spit it back out.

Like she just said she was going to do. But she k that's the mother's vistom or.

Something exactly exactly. There's a moment where three g's he tries to breathe the oxygen out of like the oxygen masks that drop down from the overhead thing, but it's not working because they're like, oh, oxygen isn't flowing because of whatever, like the snake bit the electricity, and so

The rules of the plane are so all over the place because there's so many times where, for the bulk of this movie, the plane is actively crashing, but if you watch the scene, the examples of there being even vague turbulence just happens kind of whenever. But there's other things where it seems like it's totally fine and we're having full dialogue scenes and the snakes are the problem. There's like very rarely snakes and turbulence I'm imagining because

But Jamie, the movie is called Snakes on a Plane.

It has to be and Sam Jackson would not let that be changed. I know that had to have been this. What are your other questions I have? I only have answers.

That was thank you so much. That was basically it. Oh, the the flight attendant Ken putting a snake in a microwave and says, who's your daddy now, bitch?

Oh yeah, basically presses like I loved that. And it seems like he pressed the snake button on the microwave and the snake exploded. I was like, wow, that really was perfectly timed. How could he have known what microwave button would be like exactly three and a half seconds, enough time to explode the snake.

I did not notice there was a button labeled snake until I watched these like a few minutes of the Cinema Sins video for this movie. But in another movie, that would have been a hilarious joke.

But that's not what this movie is. That's my guess is that was a reshoot thing. Because what I think is, I don't know, this isn't like a part of me is like, would this be a fen six minute because the way that like internet culture influenced this at different moments feels like weird things like the sporks joke feels very two thousand and six internet culture to me, of like random much sporks like sporks, bacon mustache, like just all this fucking dorky hot topic bullshit from that period

Right, because it had a budget of thirty three million dollars production budget, which high honestly, it grossed sixty two millions, so it like more or less doubled its budget. But that was only the production budget. I bet they spent so much on marketing that this movie would actually be considered a big flop.

Kind of yeah, or like at least a wash, because it just feels I don't know. I was curious because this comes at an interesting point in Sam Jackson's career, right where I feel like Sam Jackson for basically his entire career has been a supporting actor, which I think is the unfortunate fate of many prominent peace people of color, where you know, it can be very challenging to get a you know, band or role. This I was curious. I was like, was this supposed to be his big thing?

Impressed that you know his character's name from those movies, Jamie.

I I remember, weirdly he was. He made one of the bigger impressions to me because his saber was purple and I liked that, and so I remember what his name was. Boring character though it's so boring because he was just in all the Senate scenes. I'm like, this is so boring. Anyways, So I was curious, why did sam Jackson do this movie the way he explains it. And I've seen this in print and in an interview, and I do believe him. He basically is like, it's

Yeah, yeah, no. I I was curious about that too, and I was just like, all right, either he just has a po our person who's insisting that he defend his choice to be this movie, or he really believes that. I'm not sure, but either way, I was so delighted to see him in the movie.

I always I also like, do appreciate I mean, this movie is you know, not to drop the bit of the episode. This movie's dogshit right, but like it's but it's fun and it's campy, And I always appreciate when an actor stands by I've like, as I think, as I as I'm mature, I appreciate when an actor stands by their can't be performance. But also who cares? I want to do something you pointed out to me that I didn't realize when we were talking before, was this

It's the same. The critics score on Rotten Tomatoes is sixty nine percent, meaning of course that sixty nine percent of critics gave this a positive of review, which is so much higher than I thought. And it's a rare movie that has a higher critics score than audience score, because the audience score on Rotten Tomatoes is forty nine percent, meaning that only about like half the people polled or who said anything about it thought that it was good.

I it's weird. I mean, it just feels so like you would have to be in two thousand and six to understand why. I don't know, because it's like at the precipice of so many weird cultural changes that feel very kind of like hokey now in a way that it was like there's early Internet culture stuff going on, there's like still some oh something that I felt very

Back, and he's like, give me the snake manifest.

This literally the snake manifest And the guy's like it's right over there, Like it's right over there, like yeah.

He's keeping it easily accessible in case this scene happens.

Just absolute nonsense. Bibe. Yeah, I don't know, do you have anything else to say. It passes the Paxel test, if you can believe it. I a couple of.

Times famously, as per usual, forgot to pay attention.

So I was, I was paying attention. It passes between Claire and Tiffany, it passes between I believe, it passes between Claire and Grace.

It passes.

I mean it passes between a number of I mean, if we're you know, sometimes it's women talking about snakes. You know that's a pressing issue. Yeah, genderless icon the CGI snakes.

Yeah, I was.

Really blown away that. I was like, there couldn't have been more than three snakes on side. There were four hundred and fifty. Where were they were they? Where the hell were these snakes? I only saw computer snakes. I saw one real snake.

Then it makes you wonder about the ethics of that.

I couldn't.

I didn't do further research into it.

But like many things with this movie, safe to say probably not good.

Right, So yeah, I didn't really have a whole lot else. I did want to do more research about, like would snakes behave this way? I feel like we need like a like Creature Future podcast. I'm just on this movie to be a help. But yeah, I have to imagine that a lot of the way that snake behavior was depicted was inaccurate. A lot of how you know, like airplane travel was depicted.

That I feel like we can safely say that's I don't think at any point in history how that's worked.

Yeah, So a nipple scale where we rate the movie on a scale of zero to five nipples based on examine the movie through an intersectional feminist lens. I would give this a slithery, slimy zero nipples. Didn't really do anything good and it did everything wrong.

I would say, Yeah, I was gonna say, I do want to just like thank our listeners one more time for being so patient and waiting, you know, eight and a half full years for this episode.

Yeah, that you've been begging for.

Yeah, we hope this met your standards, but please do not spare us with your criticisms.

We can finally handle it.

We're finally in a place where we can accept the feedback. And with that, I'm going to give this zero nip. It is like such a wildly but I would love to see this movie.

In a theater with you specifically.

I think that would be so much fun.

Maybe they'll re release it in twenty twenty six for the twentieth anniversary.

It sounds honestly, and and if Sam Jackson still like stands by it, ish, let's just do it like why why not?

Yeah?

I just uh, I had the best time watching this movie.

It was awful. I'm so glad you're glad to hear it, and listeners, thank you for your support, thank you for indulging us. I guess I guess we shouldn't end the podcast. I guess we should keep going yea, actually and do more episodes.

We should do. We should go surfing and bali and just figure out what happens next. Yeah, yeah, happy a proof ofs take a happy aprof.

Did we get you? We got your asses? Didn't we? We bit your ass?

We bit your asses? No HOMEO likes so ridiculous.

If you want to support us even further, you can subscribe to are Matreon at patreon dot com slash Bechdel Cast, where we we released two episodes every month centering on a brilliant genius theme and you get access to that plus the back catalog of I Don't Know. Somewhere around one hundred and seventy hundred and eighty bonus episodes. Yeah, and it's all for five dollars a month.

Truly. The sky's the limit. And we've got serious ones, we've got silly ones, we've got we've got we run the damn gamut and that is the best way to directly support the show. So if you're a fan of the show, we would appreciate it. And uh, with that, let's get off this motherfucking plane. No, what if you shot me? And I'm like, don't worry, I'm good. That's so. I do like that trope in movies where it's like the last, you know, the last, like, oh, no, jump, I love it.

I do think that we should get off the motherfucking podcast and say goodbye.

Let's get off this motherfucking podcast just for today.

Yeah, bye bye. The Bechdel Cast is a production of iHeartMedia, hosted by Caitlin Derante and Jamie Loftis, produced by Sophie Lichterman, edited by mo La Boord. Our theme song was composed by Mike Kaplan with vocals by Katherine Volskrosenski. Our logo in merch is designed by Jamie Loftis and a special thanks to Aristotle Acevedo. For more information about the podcast, please visit link tree Slash Bechdel Cast