Lara Croft: Tomb Raider with Dani Fernandez

Is there like an auto play? The app I use for my podcast does not auto play, but I have to assume that there are like some auto playing podcast apps right that would just like to the next one in your listing. Yeah, they're like, have you ever heard of these broads? Anyways, now they're talking about spoiler alert. Welcome to Never Not Funny with Jimmy Pardo. I'm Jimmy Park. Can we do it? We're talking about tomb Raider. We should do an episode of Never Not Funny an Pardo? Yeah,

hear that, Jimmy and find us on your podcast. Yeah, or we'll just do or we'll do a cover of an episode and he's already done where you'll be Jimmy Pardo and then I'll be the guest Jimmy Pardo. If you could email us what your favorite episode of Never Not Funny with Jimmy Pardo is and then let us know, and then we'll transcribe it and then perform it and

then release it as an episode of our podcast. How come it's okay for like bands to do covers of songs, but podcasts can't do covers of other podcast comedians do it around Halloween at like sticker treat and stuff. True, It's like I did a Maria Bamford joke this year. It was very cathartic and fun. Yeah, you're like, oh, I get to do stuff that's better than what I can write. I think that's probably how bands feel when they're like, let us let us cut cross song that's

way beyond our personal competence. Yeah. Sure, so, Jimmy Pardo, reach out, let us know if you want us to do a cover of an episode of Never Not Funny with Jimmy Parto. I think that that is funny, that that is that is the podcast you pulled out of your asses, Like you know we've got to cover. I don't know why I thought of that, but hey, let me tie it back into our podcast. We just did not pass the Bechdel test because we were talking about

a man, Jimmy Pardo. Jimmy Pardo. But I would say that also unless there's other parties that I don't know about. I'm never Not Funny with Jimmy Parto. No episode of Never Not Funny with Jimmy Pardo would pass the Bechtel test until he gets the two of us on it and we don't talk to him. We can ignore him,

and we talked to each other. Part O help us on your podcast, but please be silent, okay anyway, So if you don't already know the Bechtel cast, we talked about the portrayal of women in movies using the Bechdel test. It's just a really just a jumping off point, a way to start the conversation. We talked about so much more. But the Becktel test requires that a movie has two female characters who speak to each other about something other

than a man. There's a second Jimmy Parto podcast called called Playing Games with Jimmy pro I've never heard of that one, but I feel like maybe I should. I'll add it to my list. What if we were getting money from Jimmy Pardo around the back end to be like, yeah, just bring Jimmy Parto up at some point is fine. Yeah. I'm suspicious of everything and everyone now and I think

everything is a secret advertisement. But sometimes you really are just talking about just accidentally started talking about Jimmy Parto. Every time we say Jimmy Pardo, Jimmy Parter gives us twenty do So thank you, Jimmy Pardo. We love you, Jimmy part Alright anyway, so yeah, so sorry, We're here to talk about a specific movie, as we always are. We have a guest to help us. She's the host at hyper Rpg and she's a co host of the

podcast Nerdificent on How Stuff Works. Thanks for having Danny Fernande. I am enjoying my Celsius sparkling wild berry that you can catch at any Whole Foods near you. You heard, Jimmy part loves that. Ship loves it so hyper Rpg, which is like a Twitch channel, they don't care if we have drinks and stuff on while we're podcasting and whatnot. And I always have Celsis and I'm just waiting for them to because it's an energy drink and I need it.

It's a healthy in quotes, energy drink, and I'm always just waiting for them to just send me packs Mike's Hard Lemonade. Right, I'm actively sabotaging my body when I'm doing product, and they still they followed us on Twitter and then they dropped the ball. Well, I think it's now on us to reach out to them. Okay, fine, let's do it. Okay, let's loop in direct message us Mike's Hard Lemonade, Jimmy, Let's make something happen playing games with Jimmy Pardo. So anyway, thank you for joining us.

We are here to talk about Laura Croft tomb Rat. Yes, so you first saw this movie when last night I thought this morning, yeah, I saw last night when you had emailed me and we're like, are you would you

be down to talk about Laura Croft? I was like, yeah, sure, finally watch it and see when it's I mean, I had the video game when I was Actually I didn't have the video game I it was one of the ones that my brothers and I would rent from Blockbuster because one of those I had something similar, which was Charrok Dinosaur Hunter, which that was the like hunting game that I would play, but I didn't have Laura Croft and we also had Golden Eye for our entry before.

But you did play the Tomb Writer video games? Yeah, yeah, what was it like? I mean, it was like had similar scenes from what she did in this I haven't played it in like two decades, so I don't really remember, but she had no she had some of the same like flips and some of the same action sequences from this movie. But it wasn't it was something that like we would beg my mom to rent for like seven dollars like once a month or something. So it wasn't

one of the ones I grew up with. I grew up with playing Diddykong racing, so I was a racing person. I up with Barbie Detective on PC. Yeah. Yeah. She would go to a carnival and just stare at people and eventually you'd figure it out. Okay, it's usually at the clown. Yeah. I think looking back, I'm sure my mom was like, I don't need my young boys to be like having I'm sure that they were having a thought with what my mom is extremely Catholic, so I'm sure when she saw Laura Cross she was like, Oh,

we're gonna she's fully video game girl. Oh yeah, yeah. She actually is a thirty six double D, which they made Angelina. They didn't even they made her like a thirty six D because they were like, we can't make it anymore. So people start, yeah, frightfully huge. I would love it if she used her tips to knock people out. That would be so into it that robot. Guys, you know who loves doom Writer. Jimmy part I does want to make more money from Jimmy Parto. Yea thousands of

dollars by now, Jimmy Parto is ragging up up. He didn't give us the problem with Jimmy Parto. He did not give us a cap of how many times we could say it. So when we say it in unison and actually it's hundred dollars, it's crazy. And if we sing it, he's in trouble. I saw tumb Writer this morning. It's weird. It's like one of those movies where it came out in oh one and so it's like something

I've been familiar. I wasn't old enough to see it when it came out for sure, And I also just like didn't grow up with video games in really any way, so I just was peripherally aware of it my whole life.

I do know that I've seen some sort of like you know, and I feel like we come up across this a lot in our podcast is like sort of like corporate feminist articles about like nine reasons why a Laura Croft is a feminist icon when you're just like yours, like probably I'm going to hazard a guess and say it's a no. But I had seen a lot about it, but I didn't know. I didn't know this was a movie about the Illuminati. Pretty blatant opening, yeah, like a

pretty pretty like hardcore education and Illuminati base. I really was not familiar with that term until I think Jay Z referenced it, you know, maybe five years ago. I didn't know it was a thing so illuminati before it was hot. Well, I was reading Bragg, the Da Vinci Code and the whatever other Angels, Yes, bitch, and Illuminati is prominently featured in those narratives, so I already knew about it there. I knew. I I do remember I did read that was like one of those things that

you would just everyone. You had to read it, whether you felt attached to it in anyway. We had like a family copy of the da Vinci Code had to get her. I got it like last It was dirty. It was covered in you know, like cheeto dust, and I was like, oh, I guess I've got to read the da Vinci Code now. And then that horrible movie came out where Alfred Millina isn't it? Is he really Bina? Isn't it? Yeah? And the priest whips himself and you're like, oh, wow,

that's all I remember about the movie. Alfred Billina, isn't it? Priest weeps himself? Tom Hanks uh in it? No? Or is that Angels? Indean? I think? And he plays he's in both. He plays the guy whose name will never know? Dan Brown probably yeah. Dan Brown was like, what if I was cool? Robert Langley? Is that it? I don't know? And you literally knew the whole time, And he just said, I don't know. I do that all the time, or

I might not even be in right now. And then I name an extremely specific fact like where was he last night? Was he had this address? I'm just hazarding a guess. Sure, I was going to say I didn't see this movie when it came out. I think I was telling K this came out the same year as nine eleven, and I just was like, I'm I'm busy. There was other things going on, what time of year,

and so I didn't see this. I also, it was a time when I was like, I was in middle school and my family had moved me to Texas, and so I just was not I don't know, I was not watching a woman like kicking ass and some paroids. This was this was pre nine eleven. It was June, okay, so it was Yeah. I wouldn't have seen it in theaters anyways, but I didn't catch it at the Blockbuster

because of nine eleven. So it's so interesting. We have done sort of a weird amount of movies that came out right before, and I left Shrek being the most prominent of like, wow, truly the last stand of innocence. We got Shrek and then the whole fucking world fell Apart draw your conclusions, but yeah, yeah, I I didn't

see this movie when KY. Also didn't see Shrek when it came out because my parents were But I did see the Master of Disguise when it came out, So it's not that we had good taste, it's just that we had twenty dollars. When we had twenty dollars, Yeah, like if we had disposable income that month, then we

would see whatever garbage pile was currently in theaters. I first saw lower Craft Tumbat not when it came out either, but I think shortly after that, so I didn't see in the theater, but I want to say I probably saw it within the next year of it being out, but I only saw that once, so I didn't remember it that well, except for the only thing that I remember is her being in a towel and the scene in the movie taking it off and then you're seeing her.

That was the one thing I remember about it until I rewatched it the other day. I think that speaks to a lot about what this movie, what message it's sending before we dive into because this is like, this is sort of like an interesting thing for us in a number of ways where I think we figured out before we started that this is the first video game to movie adaptation we've done on the podcast that we can think of. It's also actually played Heather's the video

game a lot. So that was well. I played the great gad. If you guys want to have a silent Hill, you can talk about Silent Hill. Silent Hill would be a really interesting one. I haven't seen the nurses are like murders. That game terrified me. But yeah, silent Hill, Silent Hill, that would be an interest. Yeah. Woof, it's rough, it's really rough. But this is the first video game

adaptation that I think we've done on the show. And it's also there's a number of scenes in this movie that I would be interested to see the script for this movie because there's the first scene of this movie, and then I'll let you get into the recap. The first scene of this movie, I think on paper would look pretty much fine. Where the first scene in this movie, Larcroft is fighting a robot. There's a bunch of fancy you know, she wins, you know, it's it's an action scene,

and she wins. But then every other part of the movie makes it so that she's like a sexual object from the way it's filmed. The way this movie treats her body in frame is extremely you know, objectified. There's also and I feel like this is kind of a carryover from video games, and literally anyone correct me, because

I don't know a lot about video games. But there's so many like action sequences in this movie where you hear it almost sounds like the same three like vocal reactions over and over where she's like ah ah, she's making fight sex is mid orgasm both and like how she's vocalizing things and what she looks like and her face look content like she just orgasm. And then the I don't know if the cost I mean the costumes sort of is built into the adaptation, but it's like,

you know, certainly not. She's not really protected in any way that we can see. So it was just like from the get go, it's like, Okay, here is in theory a character that looks capable on paper, and the movie is actively basically working against it, which I think

is something that we see in Transformers as well. Angelina Jolie actually didn't want to wear the shorts, she said that, but then she knew that it would make the fans happy, so she wore the little tiny shorts, the lower cropt shorts, but you can see she switched out of them a couple of times. Yeah. When pants, Yeah, it's like whenever she's got sensible pants, and I was like, she still looks hot, like it's not it's not like she looks like ship now like Angela and Jelli can wear cargo pants.

She's also wearing like these this weird like gravity reversing bro throughout the entire movie, where like it just like to heaven. Yeah, it's Illuminati to the light. Okay, So I'll do the recap and then we have a lot to talk about after that. So Laura Craft to is about Laura Craft. She is a rich lady Laura or Laura Laura, Lara, Laura, Laura Craft. It's that was where's mines like Spanish Laura Croft La. I'm just gonna say Laura Laura. I don't know, it'll go. I'll say whatever. Craft.

There's a very there's a transatlantic vague accent that continues through this movie. We don't know, we don't know. So Lara Croft has an ancient tomb in her house and she's fighting a robot in it. So we learned, Okay, she's like she does stuff with tombs. Maybe she's even a tomb writer, dare we say? Dare we say? So

we meet her and established that fact about her. Meanwhile, there's this guy named Manfred and he and his Illuminati friends are looking for again classic they're looking for a key that when put in a certain place at a certain time, in that certain time being the alignment of all nine planets, which is also known as a total solar eclipse. I thought you were going to say a total lie. Total line has very strong videas about the planet.

That scene was so crazy of just like there's a lot of parts in this movie that you're like, Oh, that's fucking lazy, but that's oh my gosh, is like a row of old white men in ornate chairs, and they're like, this is the exposition for the scene. The planets five thousand years, one week. It must happen now.

I was like, who are you, Like, what is this? Yeah, so this event only happens once every five thousand years, and if they put the key in the right place at the right time, they'll find this triangle artifact things that will enable them to control time. The stakes are high and everyone wants this. Who's the actor playing the bad guy. His name is Ian's Something. He's from. He's in Game of Thrones. He hangs out with the dragon his name is whatever, denarest targarian. There you go again,

you did it again? Whatever. I don't know. Her name is Robert Langley. I love that. Angelina Jolie was British, British and quotes whatever that acts it was. But Daniel Craig was American. Why doing the worst American accent I've ever heard. He was all over the place. I hope they were just trolling each other, like seeing how awful they could do it. They're like, let's see if anyone notices if we do the worst job. It's not okay, Sorry, it's not Robert Langley's Robert Langdon. So I didn't even

know Rogdon wasn't Langdon. Yeah, well I was by making fun of you, thank you so much. So back to she has a dead dad and she really misses classic classic love when the daddy's dead. So she's all like, Daddy, I miss you. Meanwhile, the planetary alignment starts happening, and she finds this clock in her house that apparently her dad left behind, and it starts taking and inside of it is the key that's going to unlock the location of the triangle that controls time. So of course Daniel

Craig shows up. He and her are like kind of rival tomb raiders, but there's also maybe some like sexual tension there, we don't know. So then some bad guys come and steal the key. She figures out some information that her dad left behind again about where to go and find a triangle, because the triangle was broken into two pieces and they have to find both pieces and

reunite them. So could I just talk about that plot for a second, because Okay, so she has one piece and they won't work unless you have both pieces, but yet she wants to destroy them. Like I was reading in the trivia and it was like goof, you know how, like sometimes in IMDb it will be like movie Goof, but it was the entire plot. It was like a movie Goof. She's trying to combine the two pieces, but she wants to destroy them so no one can get

their hands on time right to make change. They're like, she could have just destroyed the first one and end up movie and that's it and nobody would have access to be able to control time. She could have just destroyed it this but instead she's like, we have to go find this other Plevie Goof is the whole plot feels so dumb I did that did not even occur to me. Yeah, this movie could have been twenty minutes short her and it should have been a minute shorter.

It could have been like a whole hour shorter, like once she finds the first piece, so they go to Cambodia and I find the first piece, But yeah, she could have just been like destroyed it and then nobody would have been able to funk with time exactly. Well, but yeah, it's when they made a second one. So it's the second one about the alumni to like, No,

I just watched it for the first time last night. Yes, um, it's about they find this orb which allows them to find Pandora's Box, which inside of it is like I guess I don't even know for something about who knows it's down this hell. Watching this movie made me want to watch National Treasure Yet, where the major plot point is daylight saving. Still. I saw that movie and I was like eleven, and I was like, this is fucking dumb.

They're like, no, actually we have forty five minutes more because Benjamin Franklin and Ben It was just like, are you fucking kidding me? That's how we're getting out of the add movie. This movie made me want to watch Writers of the Lost Dark, which you talk about later on, but I'll get there. So they find the first half of the triangle in Cambodia, and then they go to like Siberia somewhere in Russia. They go and find the

other half of the triangle. They reunite it. There's all the bad guys they illuminatties there and then she is the first one to like unite the two halves together, and she's able to talk to her dad for like two to seconds and then he's like her dad, you know, it's so funny. It looks kind of good. And I was like, yeah, but in the picture of him, it did it Like I saw on her desk. There was like a picture of him, and I was like, there's no way that man would have someone this hot. And

then I was like, oh, that's her real dad. I was like, oh, that's her real dad. He looked like kind of like no, I don't know. I I think if John Void is like so old that he couldn't look. But I guess, you know, two one, he looked fine, Well, he's in your treasure. I think the first movie I saw him in as a young man was Midnight Cowboy, where he goes and basically he's a sex worker in New York City. He looks like in so many movies though, Where It Holes is another movie where John John boyit

looks like trash the whole time. I guess I'm more familiar with his character actor later days. He's very good in holes. I love holes. I love holes. Okay, that's quite right. So basically, she gets to reunite with her dad for like a few moments in this weird like spacetime thing that happens because she has the triangle. But then she's like, you're right, I have to like destroy it because it can't fall into the wrong hands. Blah blah blah. So then she destroys the triangle and that's

pretty much the end of the movie. She staves the day and everything's fine. Now that is the story of Laura. I want to stay with with the spinning sun planet thing that was happening in the end, just the first guy that got crushed for no reason that he literally could have just jumped off of it and he just like his spine was snapped. It was like so many scenes like where I was like, this is so dumb, Like I get that it's supposed to be high stakes,

but it didn't feel high stakes at all. I genuinely did gasp when Daniel Craig got knife, but she didn't. She didn't feel ship. She didn't she didn't react at all, and then she just jumped into the pool. I was like, what is the move here? He's he died? He like you saw him die and then get hit by a second thing there. I love that scene with her, with with watching the man get knife and she stood there emotionless. I love them, like do you guys like each other?

Like what? This might be a good transition into one of the talking points I have, which is that she doesn't really have a personality as a character to like she doesn't react. We don't see her really reacting too

much of anything. We don't see any glimpses of her having a personality, Like she's just sort of like, yeah, I'm interested to talk about that because it's I think some of it is like lazy, awful screenwriting, where really the only thing we know about out her is that she misses Daddy and that's why she does what she does in life, and that's her central motivation for literally

everything is Daddy, which is like fuck fine. And then the other thing is I'm like curious about Like adapting a video game character must be kind of challenging because you're playing as her right in the day game, So there's like an avatar basically, right, and there's so many like protagonists avatars that I feel like are kind of hollow in terms of personality because you're supposed to be plugging yourself in. But if you're adapting dating, you gotta

day something, try harder. You can't just be like, let's make the clothes tighter and hope no one notice, right, Yeah, that's because that's I mean, I would love to play a game where we go around the room and try to describe her personality, because I mean, she had an attitude. My kind of a saucy minx is the best way I could describe, I think. But even then, like I feel like there's just there's just not much there. So you have a protect with like no personality who's just

sort of going through the motions of the story. I mean, feel free to disagree with you. I think that she I like the fact that she didn't give a shit about anyone, Like she wants what she wants and she doesn't care about anyone around her. So I did like that aspect of it and probably related to it, where like men are telling her what to do and she's like, no, no, I'm not gonna do it, no thanks. So I did

like that. I did realize that she actually I don't think, and I'm sure someone can correct me if I'm wrong. I don't think she speaks to a single other woman. She speaks to a little girl, but she doesn't speak to a single other woman, which is insane. There were no women. It's crazy in the whole movie. I remember how we don't exist in this planet. In this video game, there's one the crazy Verston movie version of New York

where only white people are there. It's like the crazy like this is like the action movie world where there's exactly one woman and she's very hot. That's just so yeah, like a parallel universe, and it's crazy because it's like, I don't you know if we saw if any of us saw the movie when it came out, that probably wouldn't register as like, oh, there is not another moment because we're so used to seeing movies almost entirely populated by men, so we're like, yeah, this is just how

movies are. I also like the fact that she didn't really have a love interest. You know, she kissed not really Daniel Craig, like she's trying to save his life and a sense can you give someone mouth to mouth underwater in the movies? I'm like, aren't you pushing carbon dioxide and his mouth and not oxygen? Are you killing him? I was also I was like, is this mouth to mouth or are they kissing? Like I did not goodbye? No, But yeah, So I like the fact that they didn't.

I thought that that was semi progressive for two thousand and one, that she didn't have some guy she was fawning over. I also made note of that, and I appreciated that there wasn't some like romantic subplot. Yeah, but yeah, I guess maybe I didn't mind her action sequences. Actually like that a lot. I know that they did make her heavily sexual well, and obviously by pattying her tits so much that I do wish that she was able to use them in combat, But I understand maybe this

new one weaponize the tits. Yeah, yeah, like one thing that they do at the beginning and the end, because the last also the last mini sequence of the movie. I also was just like, whoa, what is happening here? Something that happens at the beginning of the end of the movie where it's some one of the guys who like lives at her house and is one of her servants. You know, she comes down, she's nude, and she's walking around nude in front of her employees, which is like

is this ethical? But whatever, she's walking around nude and he's like, you know, you're not being much of a lady or whatever, like we need you to be a lady, and then she's like yeah, yeah, yeah, And then a lady should be modest, and she's like a lady should be modest. She's like yeah. She's like sometimes it feels good to be bad, and you're just like whatever, right, And then that comes back at the end. We're in the last scene of the movie. She is dressed like

quote unquote late Sunday brunch. Yeah, like she has a sun hat and a white dress and she goes down and the same guy is like, oh, she's a lady, which nothing in the movie would really lead you to be like and now she's a lady, but she randomly is. And then she goes down pays homage to her actual daddy's grave, and then goes back upstairs and they're like, time to fight another rope. They take a picture of her because she's a lady, right, and then they're like,

time to fight another robot. I'm like, is this just First of all, I would hazard to guess the scene is just bad and stupid, but the subtext of it is like you can be forced into a role you don't want and fight a robot Like that wrung a little hollow for me. I'm like, oh, I can also shoot people in a sun hat, can do it in a dress. Looks like it was from Forever one. It

was not address I don't know. I did notice that the screenplay it was build like a woman was build at the top, and then it was like two male writers underneath, so like three people wrote this, but they made sure to put the woman first, like it's her fault. We've got yeah, yeah, i'ven thinking that, Yeah, let's implicate her in this screenwriting crime. We've got three story by credits,

which are Sarah B. Cooper, Mike Werb and Michael. And then we've got a writing credit for the adaptation from Simon West, who was also the director of the movie. And then we've got two screenplayed by credits from Patrick Massett and John So this Ma and Jimmy as the end. As most movies, if you stay to the end of the credits, will think, I mean, well, so this is an example of a movie with a female protagonist but

made almost entirely by men. So it's gonna be coming from a man's first active in terms of like writer, director, and all of that stuff, except for one story by

credit from a woman. But men are largely responsible for crafting the story of Craft and we see hints of that all throughout the movie, especially, I mean we already touched on this, but like Laura Croft's character is its hyper sexualized, like from minute one, even like you said, the scene where she's fighting the robot in the verious first sequence, on paper, that's probably a fine scene, but when we see it realized on screen, you see her in her outfit, which is this tiny little tank top

and her giant pointy boobs that like, if you're doing that, you would be wearing a sport s bra you're not going to be wearing this like bra that like makes your I don't know, sorry to body a big women, but like it just is so unpractical that the tiny tiny shorts that she's wearing like these giant combat boots, and then like just the framing of how the framing male gaze, shots of her hips, shots of her ass.

Like there's a point where like she's sitting on the ground and then she spreads her legs and then like the robot like hand comes down and smashes in between

her legs. Just to even like make the male gaze thing more egregious, there's a number of action scenes where Laura Croft, I mean she is doing things once you know that whole scene where she's just like on a log and everyone's like, whoa, she's on that swing and the swing dog has to poke something and then the illuminatis released wasn't totally true what's happening there, But she's on the log and there, but there's like action scenes where she's surrounded by men who are just kind of

watching literally the male gaze. I'm just like, well, where it's that action thing that we come up with again and again we'll reference that mixed me use the article again where it's like, anytime a woman does something that implies that she's capable in an action way, cut to a shot of a man being like, what she can do? The thing like that? That shot happens for I some times in this totally well also because I mean, her

choreography is like sexualized. Also, like she's doing a lot of like flips and like you wouldn't see a male action hero fight the same way as you see her, Like men are just like flipping around and like being all like willowy and writhing the way that she is, and a lot of her fight choreography. So I feel like there's this idea in Hollywood that action movies are for men, and men aren't gonna want to see an action movie that's starring a woman unless she's hyper sexualized

and she like looks like a supermodel basically. So that was this idea that this movie for sure perpetuates, one that sends a message to women that's basically like, oh, if you want to do anything physical, you have to look like your mid orgasm. Sorry, you have to be as hell. But I feel like she's I mean, aside from this character Angelina Jolie herself is hyper sexualized most of her roles, especially at this time, but then in general, her action in Mr. And Mrs Smith it's all sexual branded.

That's like a heavily sexual tension where she met her husband that was someone else's husband. But sorry, Jennifer, that's okay, life happened. They're hanging out again. Are they really good for them? You know whatever? But yeah, I mean, I don't know. I want to know how she felt about it. Yeah, that would be an interesting conversation, is like how she felt, because I feel she probably was okay with a lot

of it, But I don't know. I guess I'm making that assumption because she seems to have taken a lot

of roles like that. That's true. Well, I mean not to say that it's irrelevant how she feels about it, but I think more importantly just the fact that we're seeing, like we're making all these movies geared towards usually young, impressionable audiences, and they're like hyper sexualized portrayals of women where it's like, oh, like, look at how like I saw the Drumanji reboot movie, and I think there is a few illusions that I think are direct references to

Lata Croft tomb Writer, really, where whenever the one character ends up in the Avatar that Karen Gillen plays, she ends up in this very similar outfit. Short shorts, big boots, and then like a tiny tank top and she's getting like bitten by mosquitoes and stuff like that. She's like, what, like what is this outfit? Like are you kidding me?

Like this is so impractical? I think that's and then her skill, her special skill in the in the game Drumanji, is that she's great at dance fighting, which I think is an allusion to either this movie or just this type of movie where the female action star is like this, like I said, like a willowy, super agile. So that's okay. So that brings me to another thing that I another scene that I was just like, what the funk are

we looking at right here? When she is like in her pajamas, these like billowing, flowy pajamas, they are purposefully not buttoned the whole way, and then she's attached to this like bungee cord set up and she's just like kind of bunging around her living room. And then I'm like, okay, what is this for what is she doing? Is this exercise? Is this maybe to help with her I loved that whatever that was. That was like I want, I want to do that. It looks fun, but like is it

serving the story at all? No? But then I was like, Okay, maybe it's helping with her agility. And then it got me thinking that female action stars like this have to be agile, like that's their thing, so like they can't be like their male counterparts. They're male action stars. They can be like tough and brutish and just like kind of sloppy, and they don't have to be these like super graceful, super agile. They're like dirty, gritty, Yeah, exactly,

not manicured. But a female action star has to still be And maybe I think this is like changing a little bit in the Hollywood landscape. But for sure, at this time, like it was just like, well, no one's gonna want to see this unless is like perfectly flipping around and like being super delicate and agile. This is

a lot of like Bush era ship. Yeah of like and and it does feel ultimately a little bit like I hope that some women got something empowering out of this movie, but Ultimately, it just feels kind of counterproductive totally, Like this is the sort of thing that any number of crummy ex boyfriends I've had would point to and be like, what do you mean There's no representation in movies feminist icon right, So so ultimately I do feel like it is it kind of like gives crummy dude

something to point to to be like, what what do you mean? Like women are underrepresented. Here's this woman who has never existed. Well yeah, well so the video game I mean was obviously I made with the intent of young men, you know, wanting, well, why would a young guy want to play a woman? Well, we're going to make her with huge tits and then that might be fun for them to play with. But it was also kind of fired by James Bond, and I think if

they had approached it more in that way. Not saying that she's the same as that character, but I agree that so much of her is shot from the male gaze, and James Bond is able to sleep with like multiple women, and we see his body and things like that. But yet it's not in a demeaning way. It's in a power power Yes, Wow, look how fucking cool he is what's the things I noticed with this? Okay, there is a totally Kuko bananas Angelina Jolie shower scene and that's

from the video game. Yes, yeah, who in their life has ever flipped their hair in the shower? But my favorite thing this is like the us in movies all the time where the hot protagonist stares into their shower spot. This looks so uncomfortable. Who's looking into their like washed me daddy, Like it's so fucking weird my eyes. Yeah, that shower scene is from SO and I think it might be a tiny bit more graphic in the video game,

and so they toned it down. And the only thing that they could show in this was her side boob. But she does have killer side crap. Mine is so not as perky compared to that. I've got a weird texture to the side. It's the whole thing. You've got to arrange it just so. Yeah, the shower scene did make me laugh out like l O L. Well, yeah, I mean it's her a close up of her head, but she's like again mid orgasm where she's just like throwing her head back and like staring into hot water,

writhing around in the shower. No one showers like that. You spend yourselone there. I would say, if you had video footage of anyone showering alone, it would be some of the most humbling thing you ever see. I'm like, oh, sudsing with their pubes makes sense, not fun to watch, but makes sense. Being crying. She does that bumbling despot like horrible. She does that thing where she has her head down and then she flips it up and all her hair comes flipping, and I've never done in my life.

No one ever held the purpose be you'd make a mess, right, So that scene happens, and then she steps out of the shower and she's in this tiny little towel, which and she's not a lady, right yes, so her get out of the bathroom per her. Her butler is named Hilary, but he's a man and progressive. I'm a cycon, remember Ashley Parker, Angel of Otez. Progressive and a three name to boo. Yeah, I love a good three name. So she comes into the shower, she's in this tiny towel.

The butler holds up a dress in this para right heeled, and she's like, no dresses and heels for me, and he's like, I'm only trying to turn you into a lady, and she flings her towel off, and that's when you see the famous side boob and then and then he does the whole thing where we talked about where he's like, I'm just trying to he's like, a ladies should be modest, and she's like, yes, a lady should be implying she's not a lady. She's not like the other girls. She's

a little bit different. She wears combat boots and she drives a jeep and she fights robots. Fine, if you're not conforming to this like standard. But then she's also agreeing that, yes, ladies should be a certain way. I mean, this is dumb. This is of like a throwaway moment, but it's just like I feel like the movie's trying to comment on like gender and gender roles, but like it doesn't. You don't get to do that and then

also sexualize your main character in an insane way. But the reason I brought up the shower scenes because we do later and I was sort of like, I don't

know what I would call that. We do get it, not quite as agreed, just but we do get adower scene and uh and a little bit of commentary on his full frontal, which I think is the only other time we see a shot of just still a woman when he answers the door and then a woman is straight up horrified at whatever gnar old situation Daniel Craig has going on, because I've never like, who would see Daniel Craig nude and be like, oh, like, what was terrified?

What did she see down there? It was? It was I mean, I just think just opening the door on a naked man is gonna shock anyone who's not I mean, but are you going to be are you screaming hat off and running away? You'd be like, okay, when you're not expecting a penis, I would probably scream. You know, you know, we've all had the unexpected penis, so so I would probably. I think it's not that unusual of

a reaction for her. But the point is so that in that scene, yeah, you do see like a good chunk of his naked body pretty much everything besides Dick in the scene, but he's not framed in the same way Angela Jolie is, where she's just like writhing around and like I'm having an orgasm in the shower. So the way men and women are framed in this movie

and many many action movies is very differently. And I actually wanted to go back to Danny something that you were kind of touching on, which is that Danny just took a swig of Celsius Celsius sparkling wildberry. Get it at Vitamin Shop, g n C Whole Foods and Airjan and Jenny Carters refrigerator. On your way there. They're on an episode of Playing Games with Jimmy Carter. There's only

six episodes. He needs your support. Yeah, so I think you can make the argument that men are also to some degree sexualized in action movies, like male action heroes are different. Yeah. Well, I mean I'm gonna just sort of like play devils advocate here and say that they're often like very muscular, very macho, sort of this like ideal standard of masculinity you see there, like glistening muscles a lot of the time. But it's it is not the same. I think they're sexy, they're not sexualized. I

think they're sexy because they're bachelor's. If we're talking about Bruce Wayne or Clark Kent to them. It's like they have to be muscular for their job because they're saving the world, but they're not shown in a way that is hyper sexualized the way that women are. And I also think that both male and female action heroes of this era, at least they're sexualized in different ways, but

for the same audience. There it's both for men. The way that Laura Craft is sexualized is for a male audience and and the same way that James Bond would be sexualized in a different way for that same male audience. Yeah, it's basically like, Oh, here's this like ideal that I want to strive to be when it's a male action hero, and then when it's a female action hero, it's still like, oh, here's this woman I want to conquer and make my conquest and not actually like identify with even though she's

the hero. Story. Yeah, I think that male superheroes are kind of more what I see as like athletes, where athletes are sexy, they have great bodies, but they're not as hyper sexualized the way that I think female superhero are.

Superheroes are quotes because I feel like most of the women in this era, we're not really seen as superheroes as much as like Catwoman, Poison Ivy things like that were like villains ish where they're super sexual totally to the point where they're basically like handicapped, just like Catwoman is so horny she can't really she cannot do anything well.

And and here's the thing, though, is that they use the superheroes themselves, Like if we're talking about let's say Bruce Wayne Batman, like they don't use their sexuality as you know what I mean, Like they're so women are using their sexuality as weapon. So that is showing how they're different as far as how they're written and their purpose, which doesn't necessarily happen that much in this movie. But in The Tomb Writer's sequel, there's a scene where she

like is basically seducing Gerard Butler. They kiss, and then it's basically to distract him so that she can handcuff him to like a railing so that he doesn't run off and do something stupid. There is a perfect example of like women using like women action heroes using their

sexuality as like a weapon. Almost there's a scene that's like sort of like that again, It's like I feel like Laura both doesn't have much of an interest in a romantic conquest, and also it's just kind of an underwritten character in general, so it's hard to know what she feels a lot of the time. But there's a scene where she's with Manfred Powell, feminist icon Manfred Powell, and he's based there in a cave of some sorty

he's threatening to kill her, but it's very set. It's like there's one scene where it's particularly sexy where he's like, I'm going to kill you and she's like, I don't know what to believe. And then he's like I knew you're daddy, and she's like what, And that's when he's like he was in the Illuminati and she's like, no, he couldn't be. That's the other thing I wanted her. Even her voice is like this, like sultry like, but that's also angel but she doesn't have to talk like that.

I've seen her in other movies where she's not being all like, hello, this is I'm Lara Kraft. But that's like but I think that's like a conversation of because to me, I don't know, it doesn't bother me as much because I feel like I feel really conflicted. Like if I were in a superhero movie, I would want to be sexy as fuck. I want to like crush someone with my ass, but like also people respect me. Like I feel like we're in an air where like, yeah, I want to be able to do what the guys do.

I want to be James Bond and fucking like Fux some guy and be like Sia, you know, and like hop into my helicopter and leave him a basket or whatever a Rod does to the women days, leave him a basket or whatever. Like I want to do that. So I want to be as sexually progressive as the men. But then I want to be respected. And that's that's an issue where people still respect people like James Bond or Bruce Wayne who Fox Chicks and then leaves, but yet we're not respected as as women much of the time.

There's no way they could have done that with wonder woman, you know what I mean, and showing her in that way where she's just like sucking a bunch of guys. I mean, they could have, but it would have been received. Yeah, she has to be extremely classy. She has to be like a mother essentially, she's like the mother of Earth in a way that her counterparts in the Justice League are not where Jason Momoa and Bruce Wayne and people like that, where they're kind of like yeah, chicks, you

know whatever, and she has to be like super classy. Well, I think so we might get there. It's too early right now in the Hollywood landscape to have a like a female action sorthing like that, right, but so I think, like, I think we just need to. Yeah, I like an

action hero, a superhero who's a woman. I think can be sexy without being sexualized the way we were talking about how they frame male action heroes where they're like the buff Like you've got your John mcclean's and your James Bonds and you're like all the superheroes who are like muscular and sexy, but they're not framed in a way that's hyper sexualizing them. So I think, like we just it's not hard to do that with women either. Like we have Jessica Jones, who I feel like it

is a very conflict did you know? It shows her dealing with mental illness and alcoholism and things like that. So we do have her, and she's she I'd like the fact that she's not one dimensional, and she's not very sexualized, even though she does have sex. She has sex with Luke Cage that they show, but and probably

other people. So I will say that they are working towards that where we do have flawed female characters that don't have to be, you know, as classy and put together as Diana Prince, but not enough, not enough, not yet. And I do think that I do think that the cinemamatography of this movie works against its protagonist totally quite a bit. And I looked it up. You're not gonna

be shocked. Man was the cinematographer for this movie. Also has done die Hard, with a Vengeance, The Incredible Hulk, the most recent Why Uh, and then Clash of the Titans. So it's like this, this is not even a cinematographer who doesn't know what cinematography on an action movie should look like. But because it's a female protagonist, there are times where there is action happening, but we're looking at an ass. It's just like, it's great that the ass

is there. It's not even that I don't want to see the ass. But when someone's getting stabbed, show me the person getting fucking stabbed. That's just how a movie should look. Well, I think it goes back to the fact that there's an assumption I think still that only men like action movies, So if there is going to be a female hero, then they're going to have to cater to that male audience. But that's like, first of all ludicrous because guess what, I'm a woman and I

love action movies. So the fact that like there's this assumption that like, oh, well, we can't have like a female action star. That's just like, you know, a normal woman who we aren't showing her ass and tit's the entire movie, like we have to cater to this male audience. With the new one that's coming out with Alicia, and I noticed that they didn't bump up her tips to thirty six double D, so that's progress. I mean they let her have her her body, her body. It's very

much about her own body. Um, which is fine, you know either way, But I mean, like they let her, yeah, have her body, is what I meant. So if you have thirty six double ds, I'm very jealous, and I think you should be in a superhero movie. But I don't know if that's the only representation. I was watching the trailers, and it seems as though the framing in the cinematography and stuff like that doesn't seem to be as through the lens of the male gaze as much,

or maybe not even at all. It's going to be hard to tell exactly until you see the whole movie, but to me, it seems as though it's a little bit more respectful of its female heron, which is then

I hope it is. That would be awesome. She also looks like she's like five too, so I'm like, she's so scrappy, yeah, and I just want to see her like, yeah, like using like a shard of glass to stab someone in the in the neck or something, which is like what, Yeah, what I want to see, Like I hate that there's that whole stupid like dance fighting thing that has to happen in this two thousand one tomb rater, which is what I think what that Jumanji references to, where she's

like she's good at dance fighting because she has to be super dancy and sexy and her fight choreography, where like I think this new tomb Writer is we're going to see her be a bit more scrappy and sloppy because like, I think this one is setting up that she's not already an adventurer. Like she finds information from that her dead dad left behind, so she doesn't have a dead but like she's like, we're gonna go on it,

like she hasn't she's not yet an adventure seeker. So I think it's going to be like a like a made hero type of story. That's cool. Yeah, I didn't mind how like Lada was set up in this movie where it's like, oh, she's already done ship. She has what she's doing. I'm not exactly sure what she's done or why, but it's clear she's done ship. She's got bungee cords in her house, she's shooting robots and sex stuff. I was like, Okay, she's got some sort of established something.

But actually I have a good point about that. Get ready brag? Okay, So Laura Croft Tomb Writer is very similar in story structure to Writers of the Lost Arc, the first Indiana Jones movie. I'll just kind of go quickly through the main story beats of both, and that they both have an opening sequence where we meet the hero and learn that they do shit in tombs because they are archaeologists. I guess we for sure know that about Indiana Jones. We're not so sure about what Laura

crofts credentials are. They both have a bad guy who has their hearts set on acquiring an artifact that will allow them to wield tremendous supernatural power. We see the hero get their hands on a round medallion type object that will lead them to said artifact, and that they Medalian adjacent Medalia adjacent, and then they seek to The hero seeks to destroy it so that the bad guys can't get their hands on it and abuse this power.

The hero and the bad guys both travel to a different country to use the medallion key thing to figure out where the artifact is, and then the bad guys exploit the locals to do a lot of the heavy lifting in terms of trying to figure out where this

thing is. Happens in both movies. Then the round key medallion thing has to be in a certain place at a certain time to show them where the artifact is, and then the hero and the bad guys come in contact with each other, they find either all or part of the artifact, depending on which movie we're talking about. There's some scary things that happen to the hero that they have to fight off, either snakes or statues that

come to life. Um, we forgot about that. And then finally, in both movies, the hero and the bad guys travel to a second location, either to perform a ritual with with the artifact or to find the other half of the artifact, and then basically they both end with the hero either destroying or getting the artifact away from the bad guys and them saving the day and winning. So

very similar movies in terms of storage structure. However, there's well, there's a few key differences, and that Indiana Jones is not hyper sexualized the way that is there. Indiana Jones is a good movie. And Indiana Jones is able to find stuff or figure out a lot of this stuff for himself, either because he like already has the knowledge to get him to the next step, or he just does the work himself to figure out the next clue

or to find the next thing. Whereas Laura Croft gets a lot of help and it's usually from men because she's never met a woman before. She never I think that would be interesting, that would be kind of how I would judge her characters, how she treats other women. Yeah, so would she be one of the people that's like, I'm not like the other girls, you know? Yeah guy girl? Yeah, yeah, I mean she does. She doesn't even well, don't you

don't know, she's never met a woman, but we don't know. Yeah, we don't know if she would be all like these dudes. She might not even know that other women have Well, she knows that she had a mom because she never met her mom. Yeah, she's her dad and her mom are dead, but she does not give a funk about her dead mom. She only cares about her dead dad. And I guess you could argue like she didn't know

her she didn't remember her mom. But even so, like her dad, it seems died when she was a child, and I understand like still being hung up about it, but it's basically her main character trait. And this is like, what else is about? Why don't you care about knowing anything about your dead mom? I returned. There's a few other movies that we have come across where there's a young female protagonist where that is the main the family

of the opera. The main thing we know about Christine Die is that her dad died and it's because of that she actively self sabotages her own life and ends up making out with Gerard Butler, who looks like shit. And now and there's there's another one. I'll all of my Disney movies are dead, mom, but um, I have to please or save my dad, which is Beauty and the Beast, the Little Burmaid, Aladdin, and that kind of

brings me to the climactic scene of this movie. It is I thought, great that at no point in this movie that I could identify like Laura is never damseled. She always does save herself, sometimes with help. She's never met a woman before. That's all interesting, and she even has to she ends up saving Daniel Craig, right, and there's that that that reverse that was like, okay, that

that is good. That is to an extent progressive. But all the steaks in the climactic scene for Laura are connected to two male characters, which are her dad and Daniel Craig, who gets straight up knife and she feels nothing where she's like and then she just like she didn't gasp. She was just like, oh, maybe she knows that she's going to be able to reverse time and

save him. I think she just was like, you, motherfucker, I gotta do this thing well because the climactic scene she goes into whatever the time whole thing, John Void's there, and instead of we could have had some sort of satisfying character driven moment where we get to know Laura a little better because we don't really know her that well, but instead of her discovering it for herself, John Voight literally livers the lesson to her in the time whole

and it's like, you know, some stupid turn of phrase with like you can't steal time, you have to give back time. And then she's like, but Daddy know, and he's like, but Daddy yes, And then they touch fingers and then it's over. And so she's told what the lesson is and then goes back and and executes what

she was told by Bye bye Daddy. But it was that was just like one of those little moments where'm like, oh, that's a big missed opportunity where we could have had a moment of seeing her work through an emotional thing, which we haven't seen her do the entire movie. Instead, Daddy does it for her and then she goes back.

That's the thing. Anything she learns about the key clock thing, anything she learns about anything else is really information delivered to her or left for her by her dad, or she has to go and consult like one of her dad's old friends. Like you often don't really see her figuring it out for herself. Like she is an active character and that she does drive the story forward. She is making decisions that steer the direction the story takes.

But unlike, like I said, Indiana Jones, who already has a lot of this knowledge or is just more active and that he is finding things out for himself, She's getting a lot of the information necessary to push the story forward through someone else. Someone else is giving it to her or helping her in a way that like, I think a male counterpart action hero would not need

that much help, So that's frustrating. I don't like when female protagonists are robbed of Catharsis because men can't write movies. Bugs me a lot of them. Yeah, can I just say that there's a character named Bryce, which is Lara Croft's kind of technology. I liked, I kind of liked him.

I like him in Paddington too. I'm I'm glad that he skipped this one also, Um, Aristotle gets mentioned in this movie where one of the characters is like, Oh, this thing that only happens every five thousand years, blah blah blah, even predate. So shout out to ast Aristotle. Yea, and our other producer, Jimmy Pardo. Can I just say shout out to Jimmy partout because he does owe us a lot of money? Um? Does anyone have any other final thoughts about Lara Craft tumb Rader. What a classic film.

It's timeless, feminist text for sure, feminist masterpiece. Couldn't be not possible without Jimmy Parto. I think that's all I had. I think that's all I had as well. One last thing I wanted to mention is I like how this is one of those movies that anything could only really happen because the character is excessively wealthy, like Bruce Wayne, like Tony Stark, where like they just have a bunch of gadgets and wealth and that enables them to like go on with the adventures you need to go on.

The one laugh line for me in this movie, there was like that one part where like the ups guy shows up and her whole house is a mess because she's shot. She killed like twenty people the night before, and she has that line where she's just like I woke up this morning and I just hated it everything. That's like, that's kind of funny. I wrote that down because I feel like that's one of the few times in the entire movie where you see a glimpse of

her having a personality, like she had a joke. Other than that, she's just so like, I don't know, stiff and just I mean, maybe that's her personality, but it's just kind of boring to watch her because she's not fun really to see her interacting with people. Like I said, she's kind of a little saucy, and like you said, she's like defiant and that like sometimes men try to get her to do a thing and she's like, no nothings.

But other than that, she barely has a personality. And that's why did they go through that weird thing of making her dress like a late at the end. What was that commenting on? What was that for? I don't know. Yeah, I guess it was something that they wanted to see because she's always been I imagine that they kind of are her caretakers in the same way that Alfred is to Bruce Wayne because her dad died, so maybe her

butlers were her caretaker daddies. Daddies were so many daddies were her like caretakers, and they were like, you're always dirty, running off, you know, shooting things, like you're not doing anything lady like. So she wore a son hat for the daddies. I don't I don't know that that part. I was like, but but at the end, it is nice.

There's so many movies with male and female protagonists where they'll go out of the way at the end to be like and don't worry they ended up together, because I was expecting Daniel Craig to be in that last scene of like, I mean, I made you an egg or whatever, you know, Like he could have very easily been shoehorn into that, and I kind of appreciate that he wasn't the same because I don't really care if they ended up together. Yeah, I don't think she cared either.

I don't know if she may sense or mattered. It seems like they like from the second they meet, and I'm like, oh, these people have weird sex every couple of years, and that's okay. Let's figure out whether or not the movie passes the Bechtel tests. No, there's one scene that's a contender, and it's when they're in Russia trying to find the other half of the triangle and they're trying to buy these dogs from the locals and

a young girl comes up to her. They speak Russian with no subtitles, so we don't know what they're talking about. And that little girl also does not have a name, and also might not even be a real girl because then she like Lara around and the little girl's actually a jasmine flower and she always think it was just jasmine I think, But no, that scene didn't because they were talking about her dad. We can assume. But it's in again, it's in a different language. And that's two

different girls you're talking about. I was talking. You're talking about the one where the little girl is sitting she's like sitting down and and yeah, they say something to each other and then she picks she like points to the flower. Right. There's another scene when they're trying to buy the dogs that is subtitled and she says, you're making a mistake. Yeah, at least on my TV, it was in Russian. Or whatever, and it said, you're making a mistake by going back to find him, and she said,

who are you? Who are you talking about? She said your father? Okay, so that definitely, and we don't know their names. And then the other little girl that she interacts with in Cambodia, I think I don't think they actually speak like she she just points. Yeah, so there's not even exchange of that. Such an easy thing to do. But but there were no women allowed in this movie, so it was it was a whole I guess that makes me feel good that there are no women in

the Illuminati. That's true. It's just all men. Yeah. Gosh, well, this is certainly a movie that was released there around it Actually I think did really well. I was reading and it said it was like the highest gross same movie with a female protagonist since Aliens. I mean it did, yeah, especially when you account for international box office. I think it at least doubled its budget. So it did well

and a lot of people went to see it. But it's just that, as we've already discussed, a very convenient form of quote unquote empowerment. Right, Oh, I'll play Devil's advocate one more, try to pass the back to the test. If an unnamed woman screams at Daniel Craig, does that interaction pass well? Her in the penis his penis is actually identifies as a woman. Yeah, exposed penis. Yeah, but no, I do not think the movie passes the backtel tests, which it would have been very easy as you have

a female protagonist. You could have just seen she could have had a woman character who lives in the house with her and helps out. Like there were several opportunities for lazy opportunit. Whatever, we wash our hands of it, we hope, we hope for the best for the reboot. Indeed, So with that, let's rate the movie on our nipple scale. We have a scale of zero to five nipples where we rate the movie based on its portrayal of women. I think I'm going to give it like a one

and a half or two. I'll stick with one and a half. This movie had a lot of potential. I think on paper it was probably a much better version than we see on screen because it's a female action hero kicking ass and saving the world. Again, when you talk about how very rarely do we see women get to save the day, like steaks are usually pretty low when a woman is the protagonist of a movie. So the usually the thing at steak is is she gonna get married? Yeah? Is it? Is it? Boy gotta love

her back? So it's I always like it to see when it's like a woman starring in the movie and the stakes are high and that she's saving the day, but because she is hyper sexualized in a way that male action heroes aren't, because she needs a lot of help and she isn't as active as she could be, and that a lot of information gets handed to her rather than her seeking it out herself. Just the fact that there are no other women in the entire fucking

movie the big thing. It's like where I'm gonna say, they literally go across the globe and still no women this version of the world. Angelina Jilia is the only woman. And also there is a rogue woman who will show up and scream at Daniel Craig. There's also there's there's a scene where she goes into an auction that's happening to talk to someone and she sits down and she accidentally bids on something, and it's a hilarious joke that we all just laugh and we've all been there, We've

all been. There's an extremely relatable there's another woman who's also bidding, So that's another woman we do see in the movie, So congratulations, feministize was the same woman, and she's just wearing a different disguise each time, like when she just has a mustache, and then another she has like a top hat, so like ask good or like some absurd scarf memoirs. Sorry, that was a Paddington two

referenced Wait who are you giving your nipples? Um? One of them goes to Lara because I think she could have been a really great character that could have represented women really well. But because this movie was made by men four male audience, adapted from a game that was targeted towards young boys, it's just catering toward a very male audience and therefore it ends up being bad. So I feel like she there's a lot of potential. She

deserved a lot more. So Laura gets one of them, and then my half nipple goes to Bryce because he was in Paddington too. I'm going to give it one and a half as well. There's like a number of breakdowns for why this movie doesn't work for me, Like it sucks because there are scenes that I could clearly see working on paper, and then the active sabotage that takes place is in the cinematography and in the editing

and in the costume design. The costume design where it's just like a signal to me of just like, oh, we need more women working behind the scenes, and this wouldn't be fucking happening because it is a you know, vastly male dominated beyond the scene crew. And then there's other parts where it's like, well, there is a writing breakdown because there is only one female character. So it doesn't do it doesn't bode well. I'll give one of my nipples to to Laura as well, because I think

she deserved better. Hopefully she'll get better in the reboot. Cautiously optimistic, but we saw what happen with flatliners. She can't you can't you never know. Uh, And I'll give my I'll give my half nippy to Daniel Craig, but when his nippy is stabbed, Okay has stabbed Nippy? Cool? Yeah, I just wanted to clarify that, Like, I do feel like you can be a superhero and be sexy and also have huge tits. I think all those things can happen, but I think it was the way that she was

shown and portrayed in this un whatever. Yeah, yeah, I'm afraid I might have come office on perhaps body shamy to Angelina Jolie because of her ginomous but I mean, but they pad them to be even bigger. That's what we're seeing is like, dude, we know you did that for the dude, like you you that's the way that she was made in this game, and instead with Alicia

they're kind of keeping that her normal body. And so it's just like, you know, when you don't let a woman have her own like they didn't do that for Wonder Woman. Is what I'm saying, Like, when you're changing a sexual part of a woman so that men will be more interested in it, I think is what we're saying exactly right where it's Angelina and Julie is that

she doesn't need assistance today looking very hot. But yeah, it's all I mean it totally, and just in the same way that in Transformers you see Megan Fox and it's like, yeah, she's beautiful, that's not the issue. The issue is the way that we see her because we're seeing her through a male lens and in crops or you're dressing them in a way that's unrealistic for fighting crime, you know, Like that's that's something that I do like about.

So they have Captain Marvel is another one that's coming out with Bree Larson, and like they just released some of her armor and it looks like she's going into battle, you know what I mean, it's not like a crop top and like this tiny little where she's still hot, like shocking. Yeah, yeah, I love that scene in a Wonder Woman where she puts on the glasses and at a candy's like and suddenly she's not the hottest woman

you have ever seen in your life. Like they're still gonna be fucking gorgeous as ship there millionaire movie model actresses. So uh yeah. But I think what we mean is when you're altering the way a woman looks so that a man will be more interested in the movie, and that's highlighting those features of her body. Yeah, pretty much exclusively to cater to a male gaze. That is what I have a problem with, not her body, And that's like just that's how a lot of nineties comic book

women were drawn with tiny, tiny snatched waist. Yeah, yeah, and it's just like showing women with with all body sizes would be a lot nicer to me, especially if you have superpowers. You don't actually have to be super tiny. If you have superpowers, you can do you know, right, So honestly, if you can be But that shouldn't be

the only representation of a superhero woman is. But yeah, I guess I would give it two nippies, one to Laura Croft because I did think that some of her action sequences were kind of badass and she was good with guns. Appreciate. And then my other I'm gonna give it to you know what. I liked all of the Husky Dogs the dogs scene at the end where she burst out of the tune with the Husky dogs. That

was very exciting. Yeah, that was actually really cool. I liked that she looked badass when she was in that scene, So I'm going to give it to that scene. Yeah. Well, Danny, thank you so much for being here. Thank you. Well, would you like how can people follow you? What would you like to play? Yeah, I'm I'm at Miss Danny Fernandez tweet a lot about superhero stuff, so you can follow me on there and also anime, which that's a

whole another thing about representation of women. Um, but some of the ones I'm into have really you know, they have women as genius scientists and things like that, so I love that as well. I am a host over at hyper RPG, so you can if you're on Twitch, you can check out that. And then my co host, Iffy Wadaway and I have a new podcast coming out called Nerdificent where we tackle different issues and nerd culture,

and that's going to be on how stuff works. So yeah, oh wait, I did want to say one more thing. I want to take my nipple back from Daniel Craig and give it to Jimmy part thinking, oh yes, he says obviously he's never not fine, he's always playing games. You can follow the back to cast on all the platforms. You can tweet at us, you can rate and review

us on iTunes. You can subscribe to our Patreon. It's five dollars a month and you get to bonus episodes every month and it helps us on it helps you out, um. And you can get our march on our website dot com slash which so many and you can listen to Never Not Find Me with Jimmy part. You can do that as well. Check out if you want, the New Tune Writer movie and tweet at us about your thoughts on it. We're gonna see it, I'm gonna see it. Yeah, totally all right, by bye,