Lee's Chunky / 4.18 Debra Makes Something Good

Good morning students and faculty of Lynbrook University. As you know, each week you are required to watch an episode of Everybody Loves Raymond. This week's episode is season four, episode 18. Debra makes something good, uh, for once Debra makes a good meal, but it drives Marie crazy. We recommend watching this show as soon as possible in order to prepare for what you are about to hear. Also, announcements. Our weekly meeting of the chess dating team is, uh, meeting this Thursday.

Woo. That was a good one. That was like my favorite. That was a great time, uh, thing that we did in the town hall. That was hilarious. Do you guys remember, Alex, do you remember when you were the mayor of Lynbrook? Obviously. Of

course. I remember that was like a whole season. I know.

And that's what we've been talking about, but I just, I like to set the scene. Remember you were the mayor of Linbrook and back in the town hall, and this was hilarious.

Hey Alex. We got the bill from your, uh, from your bribe from the casinos, they that are taking over the retirement home. Mm-hmm. Uh, they say Mrs. Henderson is not leaving and she has a gun. Should I send in the cops to take care of her?

Alex, do you, I see you eyeing the gun. You wanna do this one? You want to go bus her? You wanna go bust Mrs. Anderson?

Yeah, I, I've been itching to play some Russian roulette. Anyway. That was great. That was one of my favorite, that was

misadventures that we had. Yeah, that really, that was just like a normal day. I know. Yeah. But it's the little things like do you remember the time also where Alex, this is the family, um, whose son died in the war. Okay. And they were so mad at you. That was, remember the, remember the grandma? She was like, I never thought I'd outlive my grandson. That was hilarious. I can't, I can't believe

it. You were a terrible

person. Thank you for coming to The Hague. Um, we normally don't let alleged war criminals. We normally don't let them do five minutes of standup. Um, I don't know if you're familiar with what we do here, but Did you need more standup? I have like a half hour of material. Uh, no. We're, we're giving you the light. We real, we really need to get to the human rights violations. Okay. I have a half hour of material for

that too. The human lefts violations. Belgium. Belgium, please don't please. Oh, I'm sorry. Sorry. Yeah, no, please. My apologies. My apologies. Yeah, we, we, we apologize for the Congo.

Do a little bit of it. Do one one bit. Do one bit. Right now you're talking to Belgium or I am never talking to you Belgium.

Sorry, sorry.

Okay. I have one, but it's not very acceptable in today's climate if that's okay.

Hey, you are being accused of crimes against humanity. It can't be that bad.

And it was, it was so bad. I can't believe you said that.

Uh, yeah. No, that's, yeah. I'm not allowed back there anymore. Ha ha.

No, you got kicked out of the Hague. Do you know how hard that is? It was impressive. It was

pretty like, you know, the United States is not a signatory to the Rome, uh, convention that, you know, established the international criminal court, but we gave you up like the United States gave you up to the international criminal court, which they never do in a heartbeat. And

you guys remember that time when that old guy cut me in line at the deli?

Oh. Take him out.

Yeah, that sandwich was good. Uh, they forgot

your

mayo though,

didn't they?

Yeah. Like it's a funny thing. I, I would've been the 100th customer of the day if I didn't do that. So lesson learned. Mike, you look like you're remembering something.

I am. I'm remembering. Oh yeah. What? Remember that time, remember the time the Mayor Rockville Center really needed to get to that meeting.

You want me to raise the bridge between Lynbrook and Rockville Center? It's not a draw bridge you want? What do you want us to do, Mr. Mayor?

No, I said draw a bridge. I'm playing Pictionary and Mike is being a. Fucking dumbass. I

don't get it. Is it a penis? What the hell is that? Chris Christie took a big interest in it though. It was pretty, pretty crazy.

Yeah, it's crazy that Chris Christie was trying to get between Brook and Rockville Center and he was, he was very mad. Remember that other time we ran into

Kris Christie, though?

Uh, yeah. I like, uh, uh, Turkey on provolone.

Take 'em out.

Oh, I'm the hundred customer.

Hi. I'm the hundred customer. I want a i I want a Turkey club.

Okay. Okay. Here you go, Mr. Mayor.

Thank you. Uh, that is sir. Mayor, take him out.

Uh, will you accept this rose? The mayor would like to take you out. Uh, sure. Uh, I do fuck on the first date though. Is that gonna be a problem? Okay. And I

do, I mean, you're not really my type of fuck it. I have to warn you,

it's a foot long.

Like you're gonna be doing the

fucking, and that's, that's a normal Tuesday. And they had it on the front page that the mayor's atop. Like we all know that. We all know that. Ah, ah, Alex, I'm s You were a, uh, you were a hell of a mayor and I mean, like, you put this town through hell. Like through

hell yeah. Okay. First of all, I resent that. I think I'm just, I was like a pretty, like on scale of like all politicians ever. I'd say I was pretty comfortably in the middle.

Oh, and remember that time. Is this Alex? This is Carlos danger.

Ooh, Carlos. Danger. Do you

want to see my foot long? Am

I the 100th customer? Unfortunately,

yes. Take him out.

That was the best. You busted Anthony Wiener. I can. I mean, what a, what a time. Alex is the mayor. So much shit happened. Speaking of

which, uh, I

have to

go to class where I am. Uh. Noticeably not in charge, which is a bummer. Uh, I'm gonna go do that. You guys keep laughing about all the misfortune I caused in the past, okay? It makes me happy. Have

a good time, Alex. Enjoy your class. Mike. Remember, remember second, nine 11.

Oh, thank God I was, I couldn't believe it. Nine 11 too. They missed. They

missed. I missed World Trade Center and hit. Al-Qaeda back, baby. Uh, we follow Alex across campus. He walks from the dorm up the great staircase, across the Great Lawn, and into Peter Boyle Memorial Auditorium, where very large classes taking place. Uh, I guess

I'll, I'll sneak you in the back.

Alright, students, I'm sick. Uh, quiet down. Um, this is intro to Chemistry and, uh, hey.

Said quiet.

Oh,

thank you young man in the back. I appreciate that. So today, uh, intro to chemistry, we're gonna be talking about the periodic table of elements and uh, we're just gonna go through 'em one by one. I'm gonna read the stats, um, and that's it. And then you're gonna go home, okay? And, you know, hold questions until the end. Oh, alright. All right. Yeah, number. Okay, number one with a bullet. Carbon. We're talking about carbon. Ugh. Why am I even in this?

What about, what about lithium?

I said hold question till the end.

Oh, sorry. Can you not listen? Geez. Okay. Carbon. Oh, dude, I just, number

one atomic map. The symbol is C. It will fade out carbon C number one.

Hey, Hey. I thought

carbon was

number eight.

Hey, can I copy off you? Hey, I forgot my notebook are, are you talking to me? Yeah, I'm sitting next to you, aren't I? I'm touching your leg. Aren't I sitting? Yeah, I guess

so. Yeah, it's kind of sitting. These are nice jeans. What are these? Diesel?

Nah, regular.

Yeah,

unleaded.

Yeah. No, that's, uh, that's funny. That's funny. Yeah. I'm really just uncomfortable. Now look, I'm, I'm trying to take notes, you know.

Hey, hey, hey. Hey, hey,

what's up?

Can I, can I copy off of him copying off of you? Why are you copy? Do you mind if I just, this is a lecture if I just, just pay attention.

Uh uh, Tyler, I'm gonna just take a picture of his notes. Okay? I'm gonna hold my, do you mind if I hold my phone above your notes and just record the whole time? I'm saying no, I'm using four KI am saying, are these sheets?

I'm saying no way. Unlimited.

Unlimited.

Now I think Alex closes his notebook. Hey. Hey, we, what the hell? What the hell, man? Come on, man. First of all, don't I wanna say, first of all, I wanna say I'm very appreciative that you would choose me to copy notes off of. Secondly, I feel like I don't understand your motive here. Uh, frankly, this is not, it's not like a test, you know, he's got it all on the screen.

But we, we cheat. That's, that's what we do. We cheat on school. Um, yeah, because, uh, anyone who doesn't cheat we got is a fucking loser, so, yeah. Yeah. Listen man, well let me,

let me give you a lesson my friend, friends, we're not friends, that's the point.

Oh, cheating. I thought we, I thought we had something going with these cheat cheating gets you

nowhere in life. I, I didn't cheat. And you know where it got me? It got me into the office of the mayor and then I did cheat and then it got me here. Buddy buddy. Hey, listen, I'm here with you. Stop. Stop izing.

Yeah. I'll tell you this. If you open your notebooks right now, I will personally give you $100,000. If you open your notebook

right now, that's a lie. I can tell it. I will double it. No, right here,

you see, uh, the Tyler takes, uh, reaches into his back pocket, takes out a huge stack of a hundred dollars bills and smacks it on the table. Yeah, my

be offering me

fire

ants,

bro. You know, I see his hundred and I raise it. 200, 300 right there on the table. Open your goddamn notebook. Open your guys, you

open my notebook, buddy. I'll give you buddy. Buddy. Open your, open

your meeting. Five star buddy. I'll your leg man. You're barking. I'm touching his, I'm

touching both of his legs down. You're touching his leg. I'll touch his leg minus somewhere else.

Camera pulls way back to see that these guys are screaming at Alex's face. E everyone is looking at the three of us neon. Okay. Number 13, I think. Hold on. Lemme check that.

Go on, gimme the look. Gimme the, gimme the God.

He's just saying number. Gimme the look. I will give you 500 American for your notebook for also to the jeans. I I want the jeans now.

I'll suck your dick.

I'll give you the jeans. But the note copying is just more just gonna ignore him.

Offering to suck your dick. Good, good. I'm, I have an advantage. Okay.

I, I'm sorry. Just I get that offer twice a day. Oh, uh, what, so you got one more to go then?

Yeah.

Uh, no, I'm actually too over the norm. Wait a second.

Holy shit, dude.

Yeah. It's been a long day. My, my friend Mike was feeling a little frisky this morning. Uh, regardless. Uh, it's a no from me dog. Uh, like final offer.

Final offer.

Okay.

I will give you 10% of my company. For

what company do you have?

Okay. So it's, you know, sponges. This is a sponge. Yeah. That you put on the bottom of your shoes and you can mop the floor with it.

Teacher, they're trying to tea, cheat.

Wait. No. No, we're not. No, we're not. We not. Does this mean you're out?

I will buy your product with hard work, hard earned American cash. I don't accept from shady deals. You know, there's many things. I am nothing shady, but what I am not is a cheater and I'm not involved in risky trades as of today. And I am just all around a standup guy who is gonna make sure that you guys get your McMuffins. Here you go. I don't like muffins too bad. Eat 'em of the

come variety of Why is theirum on this muffin?

Uh, you remember when someone told me they wanted to suck my dad?

That was the muffin.

That was the muffin man.

Oh, joking. You do know the muffin. Wait, you know the muffin man. Oh, the muffin man knows me. You fucked the muffin man in the alley on dreary lane, right? We're talk, we're getting off topic. So listen. Open your goddamn notebook. Let us cheat on you and hey, don't fucking snitch on us, okay? We've been doing this a long time. What? Don't fucking snitch on us. I have

snitched on you twice already. I don't think the professor heard

have a third.

I don't. Don't need to. People in this room, they are all looking at you. He up. Look, there's a guy I don't care about to your right. There's a guy on the other side of you who is literally sliding his notebook towards you. Hey, hey buddy.

Fuck off. I don't want your notebook. I want his notebook. Yeah, this shit

this. Why do you want my notebook Store brand? What's so special about my notes? It's Mead five

star. That's quality Notebook. Okay. That's name brand Mead. Also, his jeans are made of renewable resources. Yeah. Look at this guy with his fucking paper jeans. That's true. There's our stupid jeans. Wait, he's right. Wait, wait, wait, wait. Hold on. Tyler, he's writing his notes on his jeans. That's the best of both worlds. You know what, dude? Fuck you, buddy. Hey, hold on. Alex, shut the fuck up. Don't snitch. By the way, don't tell anyone we tried to cheat on you, okay?

I knew you were gonna say Dick, because again, I received that threat three times a day. Listen, uh, you're an interesting

fella. Hold, hold your fucking and a fart, smeller. Hold your fucking horses. We are going to, what's your name, friend. I'm Bobby. Bobby. I'll give you 500 American for your jeans. I'm gonna start, Bobby, take off your pants. I'm gonna pay attention again. Hydrogen is hydrogen. One of the good

ones.

I'm serious. Take off your pants.

Alex opens his notebook, but like tilted so they can't see it. And he's not even taking notes. He's just playing tic tac toe with himself.

And finally, uh, xenon, xenon. One of the noble gases. Now I know I went outta order there. Everyone on the test.

Professor, I have a question.

Yeah, sure.

You said there were questions out there, but what? Yeah, first of all. Uh, you said the first element was carbon, isn't it like hydrogen? And also you didn't name any stats. You just listed the names of the things. I I don't know what we were supposed to get from this lecture. Actually,

let me tell you. I, I was about to say, I did them out of order. The test is going to be, you have to put them in order and list all the stats. Oh. I have provided you with the names of the elements that you need to learn and I will not help you any more than that. You have the textbook? Yes. In the back.

Hey professor, what about on the stadium? You gonna tell us about that?

Look, I made a lot of movies. Okay. Terminator. Avatar, of course. Avatar the way of water? Yes. Is it? If this is about my sub submersible, I swear to God I said I'm not gonna answer that. I'm not gonna answer any Titanic questions. Oh my God, I didn't really, is that M Night Shalon? Here's the twist. Okay, this is biology, so you all just wasted three hours. I'm out. Goodbye. Don't follow me.

That's so smart. 'cause now if we watch the lecture over again, it's gonna be totally different. It's gonna make so much sense. It's gonna make so, so much more sense. Wow. I guess all these notes were, no, we're completely useless now, but I'm still not gonna show 'em to you. What?

But hey, what the fuck? Wait, are you taking some kind of principled stand or something and just like, not cheating, even though like it's not even that important that, that you're like low stakes, taking a principled stand.

Who I are. What are you? Some kind of good person or something?

Oh, we went different directions, Tyler.

Well, I mean, we

we're not locked in Max. I'm sorry.

Trust me. Not all virgins are good people. I know. Wait,

you're friends with Mike K, right?

Yeah. He's a virgin. Hard, hard agree. Yeah.

Yeah. No, that doesn't terrible. We tried to take Terrible. Take that guy's pants and you'll never believe what happened. Hey buddy.

Hey. Hey. What's up? Give us your pants. Give us your pants.

What? This is my friend Carl. My name is Max. All right. I wasn't in the last scene. Nice to

meet you, max. Um, he wasn't in the I scene,

but he's part of my little gang. Yeah, I'm here. I don't,

I wasn't in the last scene. I don't, I don't understand. Um, he's onto this. Give us your fucking pants. Let's, we're gonna take his pants. I would like to leave now. Actively. Take your pants. Take your pants off. No, I don't want take my pants. Hey, stop, grab. What are doing? What do you, whatcha you doing? Oh, whoa.

Oh, it's, did you just. Did you

just come? I'm sorry. I don't, I don't get touched a lot. I guess he is not a virgin.

No, that doesn't, no, that doesn't count. The genes don't count. Mike, the forgive me father. The genes don't count. What? Yeah, the genes don't, this doesn't count as premarital sex. The genes don't count. Oh, here's the bases. Okay. There are three bases. Yeah. Think of it like the Father, son, holy Ghost. Okay.

That seems incredibly disrespectful. Well, the thing is, it's make this comparison. It's three bases.

One. Person, you know it's tripartite that, that also t. See there are three bases

living inside of you.

Who the fuck are you?

Sorry he's cheating off of

me. We have a test later. I'm copying his notes. Sorry. This is my first confessional. Does he

also have the seal of confession? Because like that's the only reason I'm talking to you. No, we're taking, I'm also not wearing pants. We're taking, neither am I. We're wearing those. Wait, think you're not wearing pants. Oh, we're wearing

those sexy priest robes.

You got this France? No, that, that's okay. You're supposed to wear stuff under that. I wanna, that's, that's pretty sure. It's

Scotland rules, buddy.

It's not Scotland. Scotland. No. Look, the point is, Mike,

if you were wearing one of these, it would've counted jeans. No, definitely not. Your chunky Lee's, by the way, Lee's chunky fit not, does not count as sex.

So I just wanna make it clear. In this confessional, we do have the black screen between us. Yes. How do you,

how are you able to see my, my, my Lees? They make a very distinctive sound. Mike, is this a, it's kind of a slosh, so I'm good. Yeah, I mean, for this, you have not sinned in this with this, this is not a sin ever. Yeah.

For, for the record, I know this is the Catholic church and we're bad with reporting these kinds of things, but this feels very, this doesn't count. Nope. This is not,

that Don't call Spotlight. This is not that.

Okay.

Are you sure? Pretty sure happens all the time. You know what? Just to be safe, I'm gonna reassign us to another parish. Um, but yeah. Good, good flag. But, all right. I liked you Father Jeff. I love you too, Mike. I mean, shit. Fuck. I didn't say anything. Now I'm, now it's all, it's a slippery slope. It's all falling apart. Now why don't you come into this side of the, well, let's just get it over with into this side of the Bye professional. So that's what happened when we met Mike.

Alright. We, yeah, that sounds about right. I feel like he should have mentioned that, but I mean, I feel like things like that happen to him all the time.

Hey, can I have my, Hey, can I have my pants back? Shut the fuck up. Bobby. Tyler stabs Bobby in the dick. Strong.

Strong. You. You guys are very violent.

What? You seem to have a problem. Are you not aware of us? We are generalized sort of bad, bad boys. We're bad boys. We cheat on tests. Sounds like you're

bad at being bad boys. Well, look the, and I would know I was the baddest boy. I caused nine 11 too. Oh, I heard about that. That was me. I lost my father in that.

How'd you do that? They missed when the plane crashed into Catalpa, you know, and it kind of scooped it out. Catalpa Avenue. Uhhuh. Keep going. My dad was playing. He was. You ever seen like a movie for like an air bud where a kid is like playing hockey by themselves in the street because they don't have any friends? That's what my dad was doing. 'cause he didn't have any friends. So he was playing street hockey with himself and he finally scored and that's when the plane hit him.

You betrayed the little gangs of linbrook, you're gonna get fucked one day. We're gonna fuck you up.

I get fucked every day. Queen.

We follow Alex out of Peter Boyle auditorium, uh, into the um, uh, Andy Kindler memorial. Um, pagoda. Adam and Mike are laying on a picnic blanket, uh, eating sandwiches in the sun. This is idyllic.

Oh, hey Alex. Oh, hi guys. Hey Alex. Hey. What a beautiful, sunny day it is, isn't it?

Yeah. Hey, Alex. Hey, Alex, I got a question for you. What's up? What's up? Have you given any more thought to me? Sucking your dick. It turns out that when you're wearing jeans, it doesn't count.

Yeah. Apparently these are really nice jeans on me. Yeah, no, they're great. Right? Yeah. I'm like, double, double my daily quota today. You know, Mike, um, I'm gonna respectfully pass because again, I couldn't make fun of you for being a virgin. If I give you any leeway on this

No, it doesn't count if I'm wearing jeans

and I No, don't think that was the lesson. That's not the lesson you should have taken away.

No, no. That's it. I don't think that was, it's in the Bible. No. If you're wearing jeans, it's fine.

Hey, Jesus. Question from the back. Yeah. Um, yeah,

absolutely. What are genes. You, you will learn in do time. Oh. Oh, okay. There, there's going, there's gonna be someone from the tribe of Levi and he's going to you, he's gonna make something real quick.

Wait, Levi, that guy from the, the, the prequel to this?

Yeah. Yeah. He's back. The prequel you mean? You mean history? Yeah. No, like the Levis are re they're over there. There's a group called the Levis, and you know they're gonna Wait.

I, I'm confused. When does Mr. Abercrombie and Mr. Fitch come in? Yeah. What

are these? No, those guys are demons. Put them You should, you should get rid of those guys. We're only talking strictly Levis and leads. I had a

vision that, um, I was supposed to invent something called Lee Chunkies. Do you, can you help me with that? Jesus. What does that mean? Yeah, there tho those are the things that are gonna make some weird noises, right? Uh, yeah. I think God was telling me that they were supposed to slosh. Is that normal?

Yeah. Yeah. Listen, we gotta, we gotta stop to premarital sex somehow, so we Is that out? Oh, is that what it's for? Oh yeah.

Okay, I will work on that. Jesus, I love you. Goodbye.

Thank you. Anyway,

back

to the fishes.

Alex, how was your class?

Uh, boring as hell. Uh, the another, another twist ending with, uh, you know, the class didn't even matter. Oh,

professor Shalon.

Yep. Um, and then, uh, these two guys wouldn't leave me alone. They were being real dick bags kinda reminded me of Mike.

Oh yeah. Those guys tried to, tried to stab me.

I'm trying to join them. I think those guys are really cool. They're bad boys. They cheat in class. They slash tires. They smoke cigarettes. Yeah. Alex, you would, Adam. None

of that stuff is cool. What? That's not cool.

You wait. I don't know. The feels right up your alley, Alex, you're kind of famously like you will lie and cheat and steal to get whatever you want. And like stand

power and like, I mean. Tyler is Tyler Cook. He's like Tim Cook's son. He's he's loaded. Yeah. He's, uh, yeah. Did he not offer you like a lot of money to like cheat off you?

Uh, a little bit, but you know, like it's, it's the, it's the manner of, uh, you know, it's, it's the upholding of the principle principles. Alex, did you, and, and again, his principles, he got principles, his strategy made no sense. This was not a test. He could just, could have looked forward to take the, I don't understand his logic here, but that's besides the point. It was wrong of him to ask to copy my notes.

Alex, did you, did you do something good?

Wait, and you didn't like, you didn't like tell on them, right? Well, I, no, but I tried to. You tried to tell on you tried to snitch. Yeah.

And look, I, I don't even have stitches.

Oh my God. But Alex, remember what you did to all of the, you know, quote unquote whistleblowers from the town hall? Yeah. I gave them stitches. We see a montage of yakkety sacks under it of like, you know, various methods of execution. Actually, we cut back.

Yeah. Oh my god. You, you id the terrible That one guy that's, no, that was Vlad the Impaler. Vlad the impaler is what I'm thinking of you,

Vlad, the impaled. That guy.

Yeah. A guy got killed. So I draw the line at test cheaters. I'm not a monster.

Alex, this is huge for you. I, I freaking love this. This is great. This is good.

Yeah. No, I'm, this is so good. I'm weirdly proud of you. I know we've kind of like, you know, we've become so desensitized to all the crime and corruption that you've committed over the years, but I like this new, this new Alex with

principles moral Alex. Yeah.

I don't know what you guys are talking about. Just the same old me.

Yeah. You keep thinking that, bud. This is awesome. Yeah, this is great. Know you, pat yourself on the back.

I don't know what you're talking about. Nothing's changed. Oh, shit. Uh, yeah. I'm late for my volunteering hours. I gotta go

volunteering. Uh, uh, Mike, I'm, I'm gonna go follow Alex. Uh, and, and you know, maybe like, see if I can learn some things from him. I don't know. He's just so cool. Oh my God. Principal. I, I don't know. Hey, Alex, wait up.

Wow. Adam follows this. Alex, uh, I'm gonna, I'm gonna go do my own thing. I guess I got a solo adventure. I guess I'm gonna like. Go back to the dorm and hang out. Off go.

A cool and stylish young woman approaches. Mike. Hey.

Hey, hey. Oh, hey. Hey. How you

doing? Sorry, it's, I I seemed like you couldn't hear me over your, are those Lee Chunkies? Yeah, they are. You like them? You look good. Have you ever thought about modeling?

I, no. No one's ever shown an interest in, you know, looking at me, so I waist down. At least

You look good. Do I? Here's a, my business card. Thank you, Shelly. Yeah, I'll, I'll give you a call. Gimme a call and then come by. There's a, um. A couple pictures I want to take of you.

Yeah. Okay, great. You, I got nothing going on. That's, yeah, definitely.

Yeah, sure. I don't know why you're, like, nagging yourself in front of

me. You wanna go now? I, I don't, I just, I'm not used to people giving me compliments.

Oh no. Okay. It's fine. I mean, you're coming across as little, a little desperate. Um, but that's okay. You look so good in those jeans. I'm willing to overlook your obvious personal flaws.

Oh, I appreciate that.

Let's go to my basement.

We don't have anything in common. Alright.

So, so Alex, um, do you think that, uh, we should use this type of mulch for the trees or use this one? I, I just think planting these trees, we gotta make 'em look good, you know? Right. That's what you think, right? Oh yeah. Absolutely. I mean, look,

this mulch kinda like, like, look, this, this mulch comes from, uh. From a more environmentally questionable location. Look, you see how like it has like all these like little ingredient lists on it. You know how mulch has ingredients listed on it? Yeah.

And looking at the nutrition facts right now. Wow. You're so smart, Alex, to always look for the details and like understand things. Yeah. You wanna

go with the organic manu like manure that just the only ingredient should be cow shit.

So not mulch, manure.

Yeah.

Got it. Okay.

To be honest, I didn't realize they were different things. Let me

go ask Denise if they have any manure on the, on the truck, but if they don't I will go. Um, if you want, I will go and get a cow and you know, make it shit.

Look my friend, I. Would be more than happy to, uh, ask milk that cow

myself, Alex, that is such a great phrase that you just coined. I, that is so cool. That's so, you're so funny. Alex, I think you're great. Thanks.

Hey, gentlemen, what's going on here, Denise, how you doing, Alex? Hey, what's up?

Alex needs manure right now.

Oh, Alex Adam's been telling me so much about you. This is the, uh, this is the nanny, nanny no good goodie two shoes that you, uh, were telling me about. No,

no, no. That was the old Alex. This is the new Alex who's super cool and principled and has things he believes in instead of just being like an amoral agent of chaos.

Are you sure? Because I read your Twitter account and you, you tweeted out, no, no, I'm deleting all. Oh my God. I'm

deleting all of those. Don't worry. I'm deleting all of them.

I, I've, I've, I've, I've seen them all already. I just, what? Sorry. What is you were means what?

I don't see any cow shit in your hands. Denise. Alex needs cow shit right now. Okay? So I need you to go and get some for it. I need you to move it.

That's hilarious, Alex. No, that's fucking offensive. How the fuck you come to my mulch farm and you insult me like this? Back off. Kidding me, Denise, back off. No, you know what? No, you know what? You were right, Adam, Alex, it's a piece of shit. Wow. And Denise walks by, take her out and another

Adam. We don't do that anymore. That was wrong.

Oh my God. He shot Denise. Oh my God. Oh my God.

Look, I will clean up this mess, but just let you, I'm just letting you know I don't approve. Take that guy out too, just so as he saw. Alright. Damn. Here, take this back. We're gonna take out the batteries and the sim card. We're gonna break this in half. We're gonna grab the cow, we're gonna grab the manure. We're gonna plant the trees 'cause that's what we came here to do. Then we're gonna go home, craft an alibi. Just, uh, you know, we were helping Mike stay a virgin. That's our alibi.

That's wrong. Wow. This is a completely new leaf for you. I, I'm learning so much about, you know, you've been my role model for the longest time and, um, I'm learning, oh

God, have, you've been learning from me. I've

been learning exclusively from you. That's why I've steadily been getting worse over the past four seasons. Wow. That makes me upset. But now, now that you've turned over a new leaf, I have a newfound respect and admiration for you. And, um, I kind of think, do you wanna adopt me? Can you please adopt? Please. We cut back to Mike. Just, just like this. Just like as out. Yeah. No, that's perfect. That's perfect. Ass out. Legs up. Do the, yeah. Yes. Handstand. Exactly.

Shelly. I gotta be honest. This is great. I appreciate this. This is not as professional studio as I would anticipate.

Well, I'm just getting started as a modeling agent, you know? Oh, okay. Sure. I only have a lamp. I don't have the big fancy lights, but I think you look damn good in a warm incandescent. Tough. Well, I mean, that's what all the ladies tell me, so I believe it. As long as you're wearing those Lee Chunkies. Whew. You really are into the Lee Chunkies. Huh? Shelly? Very much so. Mike. Why don't we lose the shirt? The shirt? Yeah, take your shirt off.

But what's, what's the problem with my shirt? There's, there's nothing wrong with your shirt, Mike. It says, it says name the triangles and then there's various triangles, and then on the line it says Jeffrey and Timothy. It's, it's common. It's, it's come. It's funny, it's funny. I like my shirt. It's funny, right? 'cause you want it to be is OES or obtuse or something like that. But it says Jeffrey, shut up.

That's not funny. That's

really funny.

Mike, what I want you to do is take your shirt off. We're gonna take some sexy, black and white Calvin Klein styles except wearing jeans. And I think this is, we're just gonna send these in and I think I can get you on the Times Square billboard,

Shelly, I gotta be honest, the last time I took my shirt off in front of somebody. They screamed out my eyes and they, they, they plucked their eyes out of their skull. Are you sure you can handle it?

What are the mechanics of that? Like they

use like a fork

and

like, no. Fully, fully hand into eyeball. Fully hand.

Yeah.

Yeah.

No, they were not happy with

it.

You know what, Mike, if you take your shirt off, I think I will be putting fully hand into something else. Oh, that's Leon. My assistant, oh,

sorry.

Don't mind me. I'll just be quiet in the corner. Okay. He's just behind the, you know, he's taking the, the film. He's just filming. Okay. I'm taking stills. He's taking video.

Mike slowly takes his shirt off. Uh, a great blinding light passes through as Mike lifts

his shirt. It, um, you know, refracts the light. It's kinda like, uh, the, um, arc of the covenant.

That's exactly what I was gonna, it's Raiders of the most arc.

We pan over to Leon behind the camera and his face melts and he is just a, oh

God, I killed

Leon and Shelly's kind of like mesmerized by it. So Mike, I understand your last priest was not, um, totally professional, but I want you to just trust that not all Catholic priests are like that. We are not all dirt bags are gonna screw you over, you

know? No, of course I wouldn't. You're, you're a, a wide group of people. It only makes sense that you would have a variety of

individuals in there. Are you, are you calling me fat? What? Are you calling me fat? I didn't, you said I'm wide. No. Okay. Jesus curse. You're the Ark of the Covenant now. Fuck you get outta here. No, no. Um, we cut back to the basement. Uh, the entire, like the walls of the basement have been stripped of all paint. And like stu, it's completely desolate. Um, oh my God, Mike, I can't believe that is incredible.

Can I, can I put my funny math t-shirt back on?

Mike, you're never putting your funny math t-shirt on again.

I, I murdered a man. I don't think this is a good idea. Put your leg

up on the chair. But I, okay. Alright. Big Slosh from the Chunkies. Alex and Adam are at Lynbrook Town Hall at the, um, like name change office. Um, and as we pass in front of the town hall, you know, Lynbrook has, uh, its own kind of time. It has its times triangle, um, where there's a giant billboard, a giant billboard with Mike. Um, but it's only from the waist down. Hmm. Does that look familiar to you, Alex?

You know. I kind of feel like I've seen that like small dick before. Like, it, it, it looks like my, like my 2:00 AM sleep paralysis demon. You know, when I wake up in the middle of the night and I turn over and I look and I see exactly that standing at the edge of my bed. Yeah.

And that's like a nightmare. And that's not real. Like no one's actually standing. That's not real. I've learned that. Like one of your roommates, my

therapist has explained it to me. So there is nothing in the planet earth that could possibly actually look like that.

Okay. Let's go inside. Um, this is great. Yeah. Okay. Thank you so much for this. You know, I lost my parents in nine 11 too, so I think it's, it's gonna really complete me to, uh, totally freak accident.

Yeah. I, you know, it, it's an honor. It's the greatest honor of, of my week to, uh, to name you, uh, Adam, Jr.

That is so kind. Changing my last name to junior. Yep.

Adoption office. How can I help you?

I, this man wants to become my son. I don't know why and I'm not asking questions. It's

because he's turned over a new leaf and I admire him now.

That's wonderful. Can I get the name of the adoptee? The adopter

dad and son?

No, that's not, no, I need like your social security numbers. I need, unless you want to legally changed your name. Look, look. It's fine. Dad, son. We can do that. Nothing's permanent. I got one guy that comes in here every week and just changes his last name by lettuce. It's not, it's not that Dave. It's not permanent.

Yeah, I know that guy.

Um, you know, yeah. Oh, that guy's a fucking nutcase.

I saw his fucking nutcase out on that billboard. I mean, his pants. Oh God.

Is that him?

Listen, I want, yeah, I'm, I'm listening. My name is, what's your name by the way,

Roz? You don't have to ask the name of everyone we meet Adam.

I,

you know, son, if we're gonna do this. Alex, you gotta learn to be a little more personable.

Alex. I'm not really, um, I don't respond well to that type of criticism. So like, okay. Sorry. We're just testing the lines. Just don't, no, I mean, like, don't like reprimand me in front of Roz. It's like she is, you know, a professional. She's doing her job and, uh, I don't really appreciate you talking down to me like that.

Gentlemen, I'm holding up the line. Are you becoming a family or not? You gotta make a choice here.

Nope. What changed my mind? Nope. What happened? Alex was an asshole to me.

I do agree that guy was an asshole to you, which is the most bodily thing. But now you've wasted my time. You've wasted your time and the family behind you, you wasted their time as well. Wait, wait. So I'm, we

came to this realization, wait, Roz, did we, do we screw something up at Linbrook Town Hall? What do you mean? This is deja vu. This is, this is, uh, this is ringing a bell for me. I mean, the

previous, previous mayoral administration really screwed up everything. They were really bad at record keeping.

Well, I heard they had, he had bad assistance. Um, you know, I learned something today.

Oh,

good.

Good for you. Can I get the next in

line? What I learned was. That the, that the fox from Zootopia was right. If the world's only ever gonna see a conniving asshole, you might as well just be that.

I don't know. You, you just told it up a lie. So I learned my

lesson.

I How did you get that? Self-improvement

is for suckers.

That's not at all what I'm gonna saying. I'm gonna tell you

what Roz, I'm

just saying. I wanted to like come up. I'm going into my lunch break here. You know I, yeah.

Oh, take her out.

What?

Great character growth. Goodnight everyone. I'm going home. Come on, son. No,

no, no. I said come on. You just reminded me that I do not wanna be your son. I'm sitting right here on this curb in Times Triangle. And I'm not moving until you get the fuck outta here and leave me alone. Um, hi, um, my name is Shelly Shell Lee. Um, this is my new husband, Mike. And, um, hi. We're here to change his name and because when we got married in a, uh, kind of unorthodox way, I, the only way for us to do that is for me to adopt him. So he would like to be Mike Lee.

Oh, our name change person just got assassinated. We don't really have the ability to, Hey, I'm here.

Here, I'm here. I'm your replacement. I got, sorry. Alright. Alright. Hi, I'm Baz.

Hi Baz. Um, hi. Hi Baz. My name's Shell. I don't know if you recognize me. I'm the heirs to the Lee Fortune. No. This sexy hunk of man and walking advertisement for my products, um, is my new husband. I would like to adopt him and legally change his name to Mike Lee.

I don't have a, uh, paperwork or ID or anything.

Oh, I know you, you're in here every other week. Yeah. We have your stuff on file.

Oh,

boop Mike. What about as soon

as this gets processed? Oh, here's

your punch card. You get a free sandwich.

Oh, yay. Hey, I got a sandwich. Foot long. It's a foot. It's a foot

long. It's a foot long. Great. We've

come full circle,

Mike. As soon as this gets processed, you and I are gonna have sex. Shelly reaches down oh cups, Mike in the dick through the jeans.

Father. Is it still okay if it's over the jeans? What do you mean? Okay, Mike, it's like, is the sin. Were you married? She says we were, but I didn't, I didn't sign anything. Mike. I might be in a deeply problematic relationship, but I don't really, I don't really know how I got myself into this. After you cursed me with the arc of the covenant, I actually killed a few guys. And, uh, then I, okay, you don't, you're

oversharing, or I don't need to know this. Why, why are you, oh, you, why are you telling me all of this stuff?

I mean, it's confession. I thought that you might, you know, like the point is to say, wait, wait, sorry. Is this

the, this is the Catholic church. Yeah. Catholic church. Shit. Oh shit. I'm a rabbi. I gotta go.

Oh, wait, wait. Don't, don't tell anybody. No.

I'm so excited to be giving expert testimony here at The Hague. Um, but first I gotta tell you about this guy. Okay? So he is these fucking huge genes. Okay? I love this one. I love this one. Belgium, shut the fuck up.

No, I don't. No, but, but it's fun. I'm sorry.

So anyway, this guy's got these huge jeans and this tiny dick. No, don't give him the light yet. Don't give him the light yet. This is good stuff. Give him 30 As, uh, as, uh, what's her name? Shell, uh, cups his dick, Mike Manix and runs out of the town hall. Mike runs out of the double doors at the entrance to town hall and runs past Adam, uh, in Times Triangle. Mike. Hey, hey, hey. Oh, check this out. This is really cool. The billboard up there. And that's you, right? Oh,

no. Yeah, that's me.

What's super cool about it, it looks like it's just a picture, but it's actually a video and there's a countdown on the belt and I think he's gonna lift his shirt. He's reaching down real slow, like to lift his shirt. Adam, I

need you to look away real

quick. Oh look, it's going down. Okay, everybody, everybody gather around 3, 2, 1.

Mike tackles Adam.

So Mike grabs Adam and they turn away so that they're very Indiana Jones. Um, as all of the, and for some reason I guess the Nazis were in town and they all completely, so Alex, they're calling it 9 11 3, but it's good this time. Isn't that crazy?

Wow, that's amazing. And it's all because of Mike, you did amazing.

Mike's, what is wrong with you? Again? We don't have time to get into it, but man, I

got cursed by a think a rabbi pretending to be a con confess, which is weird. He was confused, but it's weird because I don't think rabbis do confession. So it's uh, it's, it's strange. Oh God, I really have to, shit. Oh, this, this is gotta be the

bathroom, right? There's two stalls. Okay,

here we go. Father, forgive me for I have sinned.

Uh, yeah, man. Crazy day. I thought Alex was a good guy. And then I remembered that Alex was a bad guy and I kinda lost interest in him. Mike had a whole thing.

I think I'm technically married to my adopted mother. That's on brand for you. Yeah.

That, that feels right. And you have to, you said you have to wear those jeans all the time now. Forever.

Yeah. No, that was part of the contract that I unwittingly signed. I don't know how I got forced into this.

Sounds like you were hoisted by her own pitard yet again. Michael.

Mike did. I think I know what happened. Did somebody give you a compliment? Yeah. Okay. That'll do it. That'll, that'll take it out. Yep. So what did we all, this is a long day. We kind of, we, Alex and I went to a mulch farm to plant trees, which doesn't seem like a charity thing after all, but, um, and then some other stuff happened and now we're here.

I don't know. What did you learn, Mike? I learned to not take my shirt off.

It's a good lesson. Good, good lesson.

Good. Alex, learn anything? Uh, I kinda already gave my big spiel, uh, earlier, but uh, overall I'm just going to stop trying. Um, that's kind of what I learned. I. And until someone tells me otherwise, I'm gonna keep moving forward with full confidence.

Alright, so let's, uh, go ahead and record the podcast then. Welcome back to the Barone Zone. We're talking about season four, episode 18. Debra makes something good. Uh, de makes something, I mean, it's right there in the title, guys. A cla another classic episode, don't you think? This is, yeah. I'll give a fun fact. This is the eighth highest rated episode on IMDB number eight out of 210, and the only one that's in the top 10 before season five. Really? Oh, really?

I did think this was a phenomenal episode. I thought that I really enjoyed it. Yeah. The, the scene with the five, uh, main characters in the kitchen. And the, the sauce all over Raymond's pan pants and all that stuff. I fully thought that that was just working at its absolute best. I loved it. I thought it was, it felt like a comedy troupe at its at its highest performance, very strong ensemble work.

Um, no, I, I'm not saying that either. I actually didn't think it was very, like, there were very few laughs um. I think what people are probably responding to is what you're talking about, of like the tightness of the ensemble. The like premise of this episode, uh, is very strong, I think of like, for sure. You know, we have established over almost five seasons that Deborah is a terrible cook, therefore we flop, you know, flip that and ev everything kind of unravels from their world, so.

This is another one where we talked about towards the beginning of this podcast, how, like even at the beginning, even a couple episodes in, they started doing work that like rewarded routine viewing of the, uh, show. This is one that would never land, I think in the first season because it's just, you've established the character so much. The moment when. Frank suggested, uh, Hey Marie, you should get this recipe from Deborah. The crowd goes just,

yeah. Like, yeah. The crowd, the crowd understands what's coming. Yeah. This crowd was, this crowd knows throughout this cast.

Yeah. Without, but like before Marie even really got a chance to react, they knew that that was not gonna fly. Yeah. You would never get that in the first season of anything. And I thought that that was a testament to how well the characters had been established throughout the first four and a half seasons. Mm-hmm. I think so

Alex, overall thoughts on the episode?

Uh, yeah, it's, it, it was enjoyable. I liked how simple the premise is. It really shows the, i, I think the strength of these characters where you can put them in just like a simple situation. I think, again, the Barone formula is basically unchanged here. Um, but I, I, again, I'm not really getting tired of it yet. I, I think it fits Yeah, nicely. Uh, you know, you see where the episode's going a million miles away.

Yeah. I was surprised how Ray's trajectory in this episode changed of. Like it is definitely a left turn from like, oh, Ray is excited that Deborah is making something good, and how does that affect his life, not the direction that they did go. Uh, of Ray is excited that Deborah made something good, but it's undercut. When she finds out that he's been making fun of her cooking for years.

Yeah. So I also will say even the synopsis of this episode, which is just Deborah makes a good meal and it drives Marie crazy. Doesn't really get the full picture. No. This is much more, this is, this kind of turns into an analysis of what are wife jokes and why are they like accepted than it is. Uh, anything else?

This is really building on, I think from Hacked, do the sort of theme of race, kind of maladaptive, toxic masculinity traits of um, sort of getting, trying to get along with other men and make connections with other men. Mm-hmm. For Ray seems to, he's internalized that it is. You do that by putting women down basically. Yeah. This, this continuous

introspective has been appreciated by the show or by me from the show.

This is, I think, why the show gets praised for being like very grounded. Um, because instead of doing a wacky and they do wacky episodes, but centering their relationship and their dynamic in it mm-hmm. Is much more grounded and Yeah. I, I, I like Yeah. Yeah. Treats them

like full characters. I like that. It always comes back to the characters. They just like, they give you them a new situation and then they basically, the entire episode is always, usually written, like, how do they respond to this? Yeah. Yeah. Um, I, I do love that Ray's first response to trying some of Deborah's food and it being insane is him just running over to his parents' house to be like, yeah, you guys try, you guys gotta try this.

So let's, let's break it down. Cold, open. Debra made Braul, um, which is essentially any, it's, it's vague, but it's braised. Italian meat of, of some kind, uh, in sauce. Um, and I'm sure anyone, Hey, we want engagement. Email us with your Brazo recipe. Um, but do a baroni

where we taste test them.

That's good. You know, podcast, podcast. That's actually not a bad idea. I like that. Cooking podcast is, is mouth sounds people love. Mouth sounds. Mm-hmm. What if we stop doing this show and just we pivot into a SMR? I think we'd somehow lose money. I'd say it's

about time I, I feel like we'd lose like 20 people and gain a couple thousand.

I think it would make us more popular. I think people wouldn't like the improv.

That seems to be an ongoing theme. We got

two Mike outside of the church and he's shit himself again. Oh God. No. I shit myself. Oh no. God uh. Hey, father Jeff. Father Jeff. I shit myself. It's not a sin. No, I shit myself too. You shit Myself too. I also shit myself. I'm good. I'm just, I'm walking past, hey shit. We're here on Catalpa. Yeah. Shit. Myself on my shit. Myself on Catalpa. Mike shits himself. Mike shits himself. We see Mike shit himself. It's awesome.

Goes everywhere.

The reviews are, the reviews of this podcast are all love the mouth sounds, what the fuck are they trying to do? Who this for? What is shit for this for?

Um, yes. So Deborah made bra. Joel Ray is hesitant to try it, but he likes it. Debra's thrill, she smacks his ass. And then, yeah, as soon as Deborah goes to help Allie, uh, Ray looks around and then goes out the back door with his plate over to Frank and Marie's assets. Hey, uh, can, can I

say I, I think Ray really fucked up here. Uh, like this is just like, this is just like the most like. Concrete example to me about how positive reinforcement does not work on Ray at all. Dude's wife slaps his ass because he complimented her cooking and then he's like, the next day he is like, Hmm, I think I'm gonna shit on my wife some more. It's like, dude, you just learned the secret. Yeah.

I also just think he went over to Frank and Marie to like be like, Hey, Debra did something good. Now don't get me wrong, that's not actually what he said, but that was at least the, the, that's kind of the vibe. He was like, yeah, it wouldn't have been a big

deal if he was, if, if, if he was always, he, if he always enjoyed her cooking or was always respecting of her cooking. Right.

This is notable, suck it, you know, is kind of the energy that he goes over there with. Mm-hmm. Right, right. Um. Frank Marine Robert are playing Clue, uh, plug

for clue. Product placement. Maybe

Frank, I'd like to call on Mrs. Peacock with the lead pipe. Um, I'm surprised that Frank saying tough crap Peacock doesn't make like the peacock sizzle reel ads. You know, they have like the office where it's like, oh man, this is great. And like, stuff like, oh wow, peacock's awesome. Why don't they have Frank like, you know, uh, man, peacock should, I don't know. It's kind of a double negative, but like, oh man, I hope Peacock sucks. And then Frank is like, tough crap. Peacock. I don't know.

Okay. Okay. Okay. Uh, what if, what if they're like, uh, they, they, they're like, Hey, uh.

I guess we're, we're re we're realizing why it hasn't been included in the peacock siz yet. Well, I mean

it, how about, it's like other o other streaming services are like soft cocaine, but tough crack peacock.

What if they just clipped out Peacock. Kept out Peacock.

What if they just crap? What if it's, I'd like to call on Peacock with the peacock.

What's your, Hey Frank, what's your favorite streaming service? Peacock. Peacock.

But yeah, the episode's good.

Yes, the episode is good. Yeah, that's the point.

Uh, okay, so he brings the brazo over Frank. Everyone's hesitant to try it. Robert does it because he's filled with antibiotics from the bull going on three episodes of continuity that, Hey, I love it. I love the art. That wasn't even the only call out. I know. Yeah. Uh, and we had Marie being like, this is good practice for Robert when he becomes a police officer again. Um, but Frank, a lot of candle stick murders. Frank

can, good

Frank tries the EO and makes this, um, what can only be described as orgasmic moaning. And, uh, he is, he falls in love with it basically. Um, I liked Robert's line, so Deborah can now cook the missing color and the Raymond Rainbow, and then Ray, like putting his hands over his head, like, uh,

Garvin, here's a question for you guys. When he said the missing color in the Raymond Rainbow, what color did you imagine was just added? Oh, that's interest. I had a very specific color that just for some reason popped into my head.

I guess my first instinct is red. I don't know if that's 'cause of the literation. 'cause the color of the sauce. Yeah. Right. Oh, well I was just thinking Raymond Rainbow Red, but Oh, Alex, what is this? Uh uh, for

me it just was green for some reason. I don't know. I don't have even like any logical explanation, but just I heard that and just I saw in my head just a rainbow, get like a little greed stripe.

That's beautiful. That's a great, wow. That's a quick visualization too. Wow.

Yeah. And Mike, you have dog vision, so you can only see yellow and blue in a rainbow,

or, that's right. I can only see yellow and blue, but it looks pretty anyway, so I like it. That's nice. And

the shades of

gray. Yeah. Gray.

Oh, gray

g ray. That's, that's the one. The gray, the the gray grain bone. The gray grain bone. Anyway, let's get back to the actual episodes. So yes. So yeah, basically they all start obsessing over this, right? And then Marie said they, Frank says to Marie, the line we talked about earlier of Marie, you should ask Debra how to make this. And Marie, you could see murder pass over her eyes.

The audience, this audience is keyed up. They popped off at this. We got the big O. Um, and then there's some later scenes where they have some very strong reactions. Um, Marie tries the bra, Jo tosses the fork down on the clue board. Amazing. Walks away, storms

out. Amazing performance by Doris Roberts here, just like I loved it.

E Ex everything what, what you needed to see because like, you know, the joke is that it's good. So the delivery has to be, mm-hmm. Excellent.

Yeah, it was awesome. Um, Frank, this food has magical powers. I should wear it around my neck. Um, you know, vampire joke. Loved it. Okay. Then we have Andy entering the kitchen. Deborah offers him this eo, which he's making again. Um, hey, when you find something that works, you stick with it. Um, can I just throw something

out here for a second? Yeah, yeah, yeah. How common is it for people's friends to unannounced walk into the room without their, like, walk into the house? No. Knock a nok, knock of their friend, but the friend there, no Knock Andy isn't there. No, knock Andy friend's not there. Wait, like, don't get me wrong. Alex and I are very close. I don't think I would ever walk into his house without knocking.

No. I text Mike here and then I wait for him to open the door and come out to the car and get me and walk me back to his home.

Yeah. No, I have to escort him. Well, which is fair. 'cause he will get lost if I don't do that.

That's true. I'm sorry. I was under the impression that you two lived in the set. You know, like the boy meets world setup where his backyard runs into your backyard, there's some fence, Adam, that's DM and you give him advice. We're getting there.

We, yeah. No, we're not that, that there was, so when we were growing up, there were two backyards in between. But what we would do is, I do remember, I would look out the window and Alex had a trampoline and he would bounce on the trampoline and we'd yell at each other, Hey, come over. And that would be, that would be how we hung out.

Yeah. I feel so bad for your neighbors. Good times. Yeah, I know. You should be. It was annoying.

Yeah, we were, we were bad neighbors. We were terrible. Um, oh, we had fun. This was of course, before we all shared a, a dorm together. Of course. Yeah. Yeah. This is in the past. Yeah. We were

kids. Did you ever, Mike, it sounds like you were doing a lot of looking out your window. What, what, yeah. Which of your neighbor's windows was parallel, like was visible from your window? A and B? Did you ever see them doing anything interesting in there?

I don't remember their last name, but I remember they, that was neither of the questions. They, I remember one of the kids was named Max. And I remember looking at my window. I remember that kid during a birthday party that I was not invited to, and

that's very on brand. I remember that birthday party. That was fun.

Wait,

this was last week

or? Yeah, this was, no, no, no. This was, this was a while ago, but I remember, I remember looking out, the window just happened to be watching, just hanging out, watching Wistfully, imagining this, a fight broke out between the kid and his parents. And it was very awkward and so awkward that I felt it from that window.

Wait, this was in their window or was in the backyard and you could see? No, it was

in their backyard. And I was like looking out to see if Alex was on the trampoline. No, he was at the party, but, but um, you see this shit?

Yeah, it's crazy. We're talking to each other, like over the party.

That's, that's typically how we would do it, but we did do it that time and, uh, yeah. It's so

bad

for your

neighbors.

Yeah. Would your neighbors, what kind of activities would they do in their yards besides birthday parties that you would wistfully look out at?

So the adults were boring because the only time I ever saw the adults outside was when they were like mowing the lawn or doing lawn care and, which is a waste tip of a yard if you ask me. Uh, but there's,

what do you mean

if the only thing that this, that the purpose of the yard is for is to Oh, rake Is to rake and mow the lawn. Then you're thought you're not using it.

Right. Thought you were, I thought you were anti mowing. Go on.

I am anti mowing because it kills the biodiversity of the, of, of, uh, suburban populace. But that's a different scope. You, you are covered in

butterflies right now? Yes. Got it. Go on. I keep

them. In my chunky jeans. Um,

and you're trying to get enough to lift you off the ground and you fly through the air, right?

Um, I feel like I must be getting close 'cause I can't fit that many more in here.

You got about 700 or Yeah, we're cl we're, we're approaching a thousand.

That's good. Yeah, that's good. Go on. Oh, I just remember there on the other side of my, uh, house, there was this, there was another kid that was a little younger than me, but occasionally when I was wistfully looking out my window, we would lock eyes and we'd yell at each other, let's have a ball war. And that would mean we'd run outside, grab a bunch of baseballs and footballs and just throw 'em at each other. It was a good time. I

remember that kid. I took part in one of those. Yeah. Yeah. It was fun. I was over one day. How

many casualties in the ball war? Just one, uh, two windows. Two Windows two. All right, let's get back to the episode. Okay. Andy comes into the kitchen. I, the purpose as we find out, is he's dropping stats off for Ray Baseball stats, but Debra offers him the bra. He doesn't want to eat it. 'cause Debra's bad at cooking. He claims he's in training for a running thing. And when Kosher, he's in a Jewish marathon. I thought that was funny. That is funny.

Yeah. You know, Adam, I'm glad I'll let you finish because that was very important. Yeah, go on. I wanna say, uh, obviously Ray was being a piece of shit, saying that stuff, but also Andy Classic bad friend,

and Andy was a bad friend. Andy not a good dude, dude. What

if, what if Andy was being a good friend to Deborah in that moment? Clearly wasn't. They have rapport.

He wasn't. No, you, you can you keep your mouth shut about all that? I don't

know. Look in, in, in my opinion, I mean, the biggest mistake Ray made was just like, when, when you're with someone, you don't, you never say anything about them that you would not say to their face. And in that sense, Frank is absolutely correct. Yeah, I think so. Um, I feel like anything you would say about your significant other, you could say directly to them, um.

Yeah, I think, and I, I think if you have, uh, an issue at home, the way to work it out is to communicate and, um, not, you know, badmouth them to your friends so that you can, uh, gain acceptance among your men, men friends.

So obviously, obviously this is for idealized relatively good relationships. This is, it's kind of hard to do in a very toxic one. Oh, well, Ray is of course a coward. Yeah. I'm not implying that, um, that Raymond has any excuse whatsoever. I'm saying. I I just mean to say that sometimes in certain relationship situations, some communications can be, can be tough.

How's your, you got your, what is your situation again? It's complicated with

Michelle. Yeah. Um, she forged my signature on the marriage document and also the adoption document. So, um, what's there to explain? She's his

mommy wife owner. Just to be clear, it was a pet adoption document, right? It wasn't a human one.

I would hope so. 'cause otherwise she just thinks my signature is a paw print,

which to be fair, pretty close. It is pretty close. Because you got when that dog murdered all those people.

Yeah, I got booked for it. Got booked for it. You actually

stood trial, right? But you were acquitted?

Yeah, that's why I had to change my name from Mike Bow. Wow.

That was the second time you were a bee. 'cause I think it was Bucatini at some point. It was what? You don't remember when you, you were no Italian?

I don't remember that either. To be fair.

You used to be, I found some old photographs of you from like the war and, uh, it said Mike Braul on it. Was that your name at one point? Would you Uh, it, they all start.

I, I I was stuck on b for a while here.

Your name, because I saw in those photographs, you, you used to like work for Mussolini, right?

He, he was a good guy. He had the trains on time.

Yeah, you were, you were on trains. I was,

I was the train conductor. Anyway,

anyway, um, the, so by the way, this, this scene made the Wikipedia page for Tell Me Something. Good. Ray Romano's character sings a variation of the song while eating his wife's braul in, uh, the, everybody loves Ray Roman. That's four episode eight. That's actually funny.

Uh, yes it is. I will, I will say that I loved, uh, I loved Deborah's way of cutting him off too by just pouring the sauce on him. Yeah, that got a big applause break, and I think it deserved it. I thought that was very, very funny.

Right on the dick,

right on the dick.

Now can I point out a, um, IMDB for you? Um, about that? Yeah. Leading into the next scene, of course. Um, but under goofs, somebody says Deborah gets angry and pours sauce into Ray's lap, leaves the kitchen, Marie comes over. Ray reenters the room, still with sauce stains on his pants. However, when Marie makes Ray take his pants off to wash them, his boxer shorts underneath are completely clean. Yes, the tomato sauce should, should, should have soaked through and stained them as well.

Lee's chunkies. You

can, you can attest. Mm-hmm. Nothing. And I mean, nothing gets through Lee's Chunkies. Nothing does. Nothing. Right? Because you got shot right over the weekend.

The bullets bounced right off. I'm attributing it to the butterflies in the pants, but, uh, it could just be And how many of them did you lose in this incident? I only lost about

20. They're good.

They're

good butterflies. That's, they're resilient. Um, so I, I think, what do you think about that? I should, should raise box? Oh no, the person's completely right. The person's is

completely right. Yeah, no, like the, like the thick sauce goes through the pan. I don't think that they're made to be sauce repellent pants, so I don't think Yeah, no,

no. I don't know. I mean, you get some pants with a, a thick coating, so, okay. Kills the song, pour sauce all over his dick. Um, she confronts him for making fun of her at work and the audience feels very sorry for Ray when he stands up and he's got sauce all over his pants. There were a few people in the mix going Aw. Which I don't think is justified. I mean, I don't feel bad for Ray in this scene. He's badmouthing Deborah and, you know, talking shit about her.

No Debra's entirely in the right this entire episode. Yeah, I think that, I

don't think any of of us would disagree with that. Yeah, the audience gets won. Uh, won over though later when Ray takes these pants off. Oh, I mean, this audience is horny for Raymond.

They're whooping and yelling and cat calling and holler and it's crazy.

He's wearing those revealing knee length boxer shorts. Mm-hmm. And they cannot handle it. And you can see

everything through those imprints.

So, but no sauce. I, so here's, here's what bothered me though. Okay. So first of all, at this point, Frank comes over bringing flowers. Great bit. Frank is just in love with Deborah because of her, her beil love woke up thinking about it. I loved this bit. Here's what upset. Very good bit. Raymond leaves the room because he got sauce all over himself, right? So, or Deborah got sauce on him. He leaves the room pants in a way. He got sauce all over himself, right?

the shirt off first before he takes the pants off. Even though the pants are, and this is, I think your point, even though the pants are in a much more dire situation, correct, Ray is So it must just be like automatic for him that shirt off, then pants off. Because in a normal situation, I don't think most people take the pants off first. I don't know. Unless they're gonna wear the same shirt. Mm-hmm. Intentionally.

Maybe. Maybe. Sure. I don't really think about it like that though.

How do you think about it Alex?

I mean like I feel like I take my pants off first

and then you take your shirt off.

Yeah. But I think that's just 'cause pants are tight. Yeah, no,

he fully poo bears it as soon as he gets home to the dorm. Little red shirt

that goes down to my belly button. Nothing on else. I got a bucket full of honey. Oh, father,

save that for the asthma reel.

Uh, yeah. Alex doing poo bear A SMR for five hours? We would, that would, honestly, that would do

numbers.

That would do so much better than the baroni. So. So Frank says, anyone who can make bra Jo like that deserves a whole hillside of heavenly scented marigolds and daffodils. Amazing line. Um, Frank being very kind to her, she reveals that the secret to the her bril is she uses currents instead of raisins. And because I'm still not fully, uh, appraised of what Brizo is, uh, I am not sure where the fruits are coming into it, but it sounds exciting. I don't know.

Yeah, I, I was picturing something else, but yeah, a little bit of like occurrence. Little bit of sweet there. That's weird.

Yeah. Mm-hmm. Marie enters the room, ominously Frank. He thought she was taking a bath. It's very tense. Uh, and then she reveals that Frank drew her the bath. I love this move from Frank. He's so obsessed with this braul that he draws his wife a bath for the first time in decades so he can sneak out of the house and go and get some bra, visit his daughter-in-law. Marie says to Deborah, what have I done that you feel the need to destroy me? An iconic Marie line, for sure. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

I call bullshit

on

this. Marie would've acted this way no matter what. Deborah cooked if it was good. Yeah,

I don't know. Uh, probably, probably. But I bet it stung. It seems to have stung extra with the um. The bridge.

Sure.

Did. We, we already saw Marie's meatballs, right? Where she teaches Debra how to make meatballs and then sabotages her by giving her the wrong spice, I believe. Did, yes. Yeah. So I mean, that just, that is definitely evidence for what you're saying, Alex, that she does not want Deborah to cook because then, you know, that's something that she doesn't do for Raymond place to eat food.

yeah, I, I will say that I, I also, when he, he said 64, I was like, that doesn't seem right.

Well, people looked older back then, too. That's true. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Famously, uh, what's his face? Uh, Wilford Brimley was like 40 when he looked like that, you know? Mm-hmm. Wow. And Mike, how old are you again? Old

enough.

Hm.

Nice. Damn right. He is. He wanted to suck my dick earlier. I know. You better be old enough.

Marie claims she doesn't cook anymore. Classic Marie Overreaction. It's on par with, well, why don't I just kill myself? Um, Deborah demands to know of Robert how much Ray makes fun of her cooking. Uh, and Robert Dodges the question, but the Marie Gleefully. Leans in and says all the time, he makes fun of it all the time. Yeah, Ray, that's not true. That's not completely true.

I I don't have a lot to chime in on during the scene besides, like, chef's kiss, the, the ensemble comedy work here is phenomenal. Yeah. The writing is phenomenal. Ray's delivery of that line is so good. The way that he says it, like he caught himself mid-sentence saying, I gotta throw today on the end is so, so freaking great. I, I, this is, this is a great scene. Absolutely. It's really

good. That's like the best, this scene is the best part of the episode for sure. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Um. Ray says wife jokes. That's all. It's something you do when you're with the guys. Frank. I never, first of all, if I have something to say to your mother, I say it to her face. Second of all, those are not jokes. Um, which is a good, that's a good frank burn I feel like. I mean, he delivered it. Well, it's a good one. Agains, and

this is what I was talking about earlier where I do think he is right in a sense here where it's, you shouldn't keep anything from your significant other. If you say something about them, you should be able to say it to their face. I do not think you should sit, talk about your loved ones as Frank does, but I do think you should be able to say whatever you would normally say about them to their face.

I think so, and I think, I think we're meant to take away from Frank's roasts that, um, speaking of eo, I don't actually know if it's roasted or not, but Frank's roast we're supposed to take away that it's like a thing that they do that like they, you know, this is banter for them. Um, I don't know how convincingly that's sold every time. We do know that they still fuck three times a week. So clearly there's some, so they like each other. They got something going on. There's

some passion there.

Robert says, I've often found that men use the wife joke to form bonds and share common experiences as he, this is true and profound as he sits in the sauce. Um. Did I just sit in sauce? I was afraid I popped a stitch.

Also a great line. Yeah. Very funny that

Marie makes him take off his pants too. Yeah. Um, I would've loved a third beat of that joke with we do with Frank taking his pants off. But I think, I don't know, I wasn't crazy about the way that they did the third beat, but I dunno.

Of Raymond trying to get on. Yeah.

Yeah. How about you take or you wanna take your pants off? Um, so in this Deante, after everyone leaves, they kick him out. Um, de asks, hi, Debra asks Ray why he has to make wife, wife jokes. And he says he turns it, of course, as Raymond does, turns it back on her that, uh, she makes fun of him to Amy and Linda. But in fact she says she does the opposite. Linda thinks you have a master's. Degree, degree, master's degree. Um, that was funny. He says, that's who I am. I make fun of my wife.

him.

He really does. He lets his guard down a little bit, says he uses wife jokes to justify why Deborah, who is the good one, who, you know, clearly settled for him. Why she likes him, or why she's with him because she has flaws. Like not being able to cook. I don't know if I agree with that. Oh no, I don't.

It's entire, it's entire bullshit. Yeah.

Uh, but it makes sense as a rationale for Ray's character because of how insecure we know he is. So. Uh, it's just, yeah, that's not gonna help him on the barometer, I can tell you that much. But it does make sense. Deborah doesn't care what the other guys think about their relationship or about her. She cares what Ray thinks. Ray agrees to stop making the jokes. Uh, and then we get the sort of, they resolve this and he says, you wanna take your pants off?

it's, it's weird that it ended like that, like that kind of ended

with a fizzle, didn't it? Yeah.

Yeah. I, it, I have to tough to land this plane. I had to say, I have to say, I, I so felt like she was like, oh, you promised, like, I was so sure Ray was gonna end on a joke, and I'm so happy he didn't.

Yeah. It seemed like we got a, a sincere promise to give it an air of

like sincerity to it. Yeah. That I

really

liked.

I think it was, is just maybe too sharp a transition from Sure. The yelling about, you know, that's who I am. I make fun of the wife a little to the sincerity. Like, I feel like there needed to be like a, mm-hmm. I dunno. But, uh, that's a fair critique. Yeah. It was good though. I think for this week we know that Ray will stop making jokes about Deborah. Yeah. Hot clothes though. Marie and Frank's kitchen, this is clearly a different day.

Uh, ha ha ha. What? Yeah,

that was good. She says, what did Deborah make? And Frank says, very defeated. Lasagna. It's over. It's over. It's over. Then they have this like very romantic, like I'm romantic as in like passionate, uh, bearing of the soul where Frank is like, I learned a man needs more than Bra Jo. He needs chicken, veal, eggplant, a Parmesan. It didn't seem like they were putting a little extra Italian on these, a little bit eggplant Parmesan.

No, I felt like this was like a, uh, like I, I almost got like a goodfellas kind of vibe to, it was like kind of

sopranos, like, it was like, yeah, that's what

I'm going for. Yeah.

It was a little heightened. Um, when they don't normally, especially Frank, I feel like, doesn't normally have like any kind of Italian American accent. Um, but then, uh, Maria's like manicotti, which of course in the Italian American accent, uh, is man got. Um, and then he's like, oh yeah, baby. And then they, they fuck, I assume they have good old sex for the third time that week. Yeah. Yeah.

Oh, this was, this was a phenomenal button. Yeah. I thought this was a great button on the, on the episode. Uh, kept the return to status quo. Sure. But acknowledged everything. It wrapped up that frank arc in a natural way. I was, I was here for it.

Absolutely.

I think everyone kind of got their emotional arc wrapped up. I, uh, except Robert, we, we will never know, um, about pants, I guess About his pants. Yeah. We won't know. Hopefully they get jeans now. Robert was wearing, hold on. Robert was wearing jeans. He was, so do you think his boxer shorts were covered in sauce or should have been? 'cause a gene, actually, as you well know, Mike, a gene is a durable material

repellent. I think that his pa his boxers would've been fine. His stitching actually, no, his stitching probably would've been fine too.

Let's pivot, barometer, uh, Alex, where is Ray coming in for you as a husband, son, brother, father, um, diner and a comedian, I guess. Uh, I guess he was kind of funny.

Um, look, I think realistically. Ray again, I, I'd say he only made one mistake this episode that then compounded into him making a million other smaller mistakes. Again, it's hard to judge him on stuff like this because stuff like this keeps happening. And yet at the end of each episode I'm like, well, he is learned his lesson now. Um, and I gotta stop kind of thinking like that.

I think that's fair. Yeah.

Mike, I'm gonna give him a three. I I won't bury the lead on this one. He, uh, I think that, don't get me wrong, he appreciated his wife's cooking. He, when he was home, when he was home, he, uh, he said all the right things. He made her feel good. But also, man, I don't know. I feel like, look, life jokes are never okay, but especially to like, you finally have something good. You have a as shitty a friend as Andy, and you're gonna talk shit about your wife's good cooking.

I'm actually going to go lower than that. I'm gonna give him a 2.5. I find it difficult to identify anything redeeming about Ray in this episode. Mm-hmm. He receives his wife's cooking, he takes it over to his parents' house to gloat or to remark on the wonder of, wow, Deborah did something good. Um, and then goes and gives his opposite opinion. The bra is good. He says it's roadkill at work to gain the sort of, you know, dysfunctional respect of his male colleagues, um, by shitting on his wife.

Mm-hmm. Well, on someone's dick.

Yeah. And you know, actually I guess the only good thing he did was give Frank A. Little, like a little boost. So that's where the 2.5 is coming from, is him giving Frank, you know, something to get excited about for the day. Um, but everyone else, he really does not do well. Four. He fucks pretty much everyone over in some way and commits to change, but I don't think he's really gonna change. So I, I cannot give him more than 2.5. Mike, 2.5, 3.5 and three.

France this out to an average of three for this episode of everybody lives. Raymond.

Got it. Well that's another one in the books. You know, Ray has actually been doing pretty well recently and yeah, it's about time we

had a tanky one.

He completely tanked. Totally fucked. He completely tanked. But that's it for this week. We'll be talking about season four, episode 19, next time, whatever that's called. Before we say goodbye. Is there any, Hmm, Mike, I know you've been doing a lot of like, soul searching and Yeah. Alex, I know you've also been on a bit of a spiritual journey, um, just in the past week or so. So I don't know, do either of you have anything, uh, inspirational that you wanna share with the listeners?

Yeah, of course. Um, you know, uh, upon this, uh, week of reflecting and just, uh, kind of engaging, I, I've been looking to those, uh, who, uh, are, uh, marginalized in our society, uh, who, who are really treated poorly, uh, people in the LGBT community, the, um, uh, minorities, um, people who are, uh, less like, like, like who struggle with, uh, discrimination.

That's good. That's great, Alex. Okay, good. We got that clean. Um, I wasn't actually listening. Well, should I repeat myself? No, no, no, no. I'll just, I'll send you this transcript right now. I'll just listen back. I'll just listen back. Okay. Okay, Mike, we'll do yours now. Um, and we'll just leave a little bit of room tone so we can get it clean, Mike? Mm-hmm. Yeah. What do you have that you'd like to share with the listeners this week?

Well, I'd like to acknowledge, actually something that I think, uh, we don't get enough acknowledgement about, and that's white men. I would love to talk specifically about white men, something created by white men, for white men, and for everybody.

Mike, I'm gonna stop you. Just because look, I know our listenership. I know they're white losers like us. Yeah,

of course.

I am worried that what you are about to say violates the content policy of Oh, okay. Most major podcast platforms. Oh,

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Let's rephrase this. Okay.

Okay. Just, just I know you've got a bunch in the tank. Right, right, right. Recalibrate. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. I'm glad that that's your spiritual journey that you've been on this week. Is thinking about white

then don't get enough attention. I mean okay. But I understand. I understand. Okay. Okay. Okay. So I just, so fine. If people who listen to Third Eye Blind and, and wear sunscreen, you know, well that group of people, um, if they. Need some inspiration. I suggest they start listening to the Barona Sonus. 'cause that's worked for me. It's worked for me as you know, I, I, I am one that I think is, uh, is great. The Baroni Sonus, of course, is, uh, this, I'm sorry. Great service. I'm sorry. Sorry.

Uh, and I'll You are one that you think is great. What does that mean?

Yeah, correct. Uh, okay. I, what, what I mean is I, I, this has worked for me. I think this service is great. It's called the Baroni Zones. It's, you pay one time, you pay anything you want. And, uh, you get lifetime access to, uh, some great new podcasts. One new episode of, uh, with the Barone Boys every single month. And, uh, yeah, it's, it's, it's phenomenal. We have some great, uh, content out there playing scruples play, uh, reviewing King of Queens, the nanny.

At a wedding. At a wedding, yeah. I've seen clips of them, but then it's very unpleasant. Okay. So you know, with some editing, Alex, I think Mike's is really gonna play this week and I will cut out the stuff about

white people. I'm gonna take this as a win 'cause you had to stop and think about it for a sec.

This is, and I know that, you know, it's been a while since we've used one of yours. I haven't exactly been tracking it, but I, I feel like Mike's gotten the last couple maybe, but just this time, I think with some editing. Mike's is probably gonna play better. I think we, I think I'll just use Mike's and delete yours and throw it away. I understand. And again, I didn't hear it so I don't know what the context was.

And you know what? I think the population of people that think General SOS chicken is just too spicy is gonna really appreciate Adam. There are plenty of people, people in our

society who just didn't hear what I said, you know? Well, no one's gonna hear expecting to be someone who didn't hear it.

Alex, no one's going to hear any of this because I'm gonna cut it all out except for Mike's great inspirational message edited. So that's great, Mike. I think that's really gonna help our listeners in their busy weeks. Join us next time for the next episode of The Barone Zone. And I think there's only one last thing to say, which is our classic sign off. Everybody

loves Raymond and we love

you.