They called me.
Broadcasting live from Atlanta, Georgia. This is the Ball Alert Show. I go by the name of Ferrari Simmons, my co host. You know, BT is out being famous with Bow Wow in New York. But I got some good friends that pulled up. Do y'all dream to build that yond? Saander's my bad in the building. Make sure I say it right. Chanelle and Nicole Scott? What's up, lady? How y'all doing? Now?
You pulled up relationship matters? You got some cards you're from, play some games we're from talking about We're gonna talk about some stuff today.
Yeah, we're gonna talk about sex and we're gonna talk about navigating past pain and trauma.
Okay, just a little bit, okay, Yeah? Now when when? When? When I got a call they said, oh yeah, Deandrean's come on the show. I was like cool, But then they was like, she's bringing somebody to I was like, who the hell you finna bring? And now we're talking about you. I get the whole press release and I'm reading through it. I really want to get right into it. What exactly do you do? Are you a relationship expert coach? Are you a therapist.
So I like to talk about relationships.
I would consider myself to be a conversationalist or a thought leader. Other people may say a relationship expert. I have experiential knowledge, I have personal experiences that I can speak from, and I spend a lot of time in this space.
Okay, now, how did you meet this young lady here? Wow? You really want to get into It's a nice combo. I like it, like so uh.
As everyone knows.
Deandra had something play out on social media, and it was because I do relationship talk, and you know, I spent a lot of time in this space. It was very triggering to me, and so I wanted to connect with her and maybe.
Work on a couple of projects.
Right. I really focus on the whole idea of operating in purpose because I truly believe that when you operate in purpose, a lot of the stuff that we go through in relationships it has no effect. When you know who you are, when you know who your what your identity is, then you're like, Okay, so you don't like me, or you're mistreating me, then I'm gonna move around. We're not gonna stay we not We're not gonna stick around. We're not gonna overstay all welcome, We're gonna move forward.
And so I wanted to connect with her to work on some things. She's working on a journal about pre and what.
Is it pre postpartum, pre and post partum.
Yes, yes, I definitely want to talk about that. Now you are engaged to a good friend of mine, Jack Queese. I've been knowing this guy since you were like seventeen years old, and uh, whoa, whoa was that?
What?
We gotta start drinking water for a friend down?
I think she's thirsty.
Okay, okay, well, I pay attention to it. I pay attention to okay. Cool. And some stuff did play out on social media? Do you care to give us a small summary of what happened?
I mean, I feel like everyone.
Knows what for the people that may not know, I.
Just I just honestly feel like people were giving a platform to say how they feel and I wasn't given a platform to say how I feel. So that's kind of why I said the stuff that I said, you know, on social media, which.
Which tends to when you say things on social media, people take it all the way to tea.
You know that they misinterpret my stuff they do it, I will say, though I probably shouldn't have done that, but I don't regret what I said because that is how I felt at the time. But I do take you know, responsibility and accountability for I shouldn't have handled it that way. Wow, what about?
It's just something that feels good when I hear the opposite sex say I take accountability and responsibility. Wow.
Yeah, But I just you know, the reason why, like I said, I felt like I did it is because I wasn't given the opportunity to say how I feel. And it honestly just started, you know. I just people read the comments. Someone asked where was your fiance? So I thought the need to respond, like so that's kind of how it's started from there, and then just going forward, it's just like different stuff that I've heard. I've seen stuff that has you know, in the past, stuff just
like how I said before, just how she moves. I just feel like as women we should support one another, especially knowing the situation that he is in now, you know, becoming a family man. If you're his real friend, then you should be happy and accept the person that he chooses, you know, to live his life with instead of you. Don't even want to meet me. You can't even address me by my name. You say all his women, all this kind of stuff. That's just kind of like you're
not a girl's girl. Like like I said on my other interview, I went to her, approached her and introduced myself, and she didn't want to meet me, like he had to be like dage. She's saying, you know what I'm saying. So that's the whole thing that I just don't really like the image that's getting viewed of me when I've actually tried to do it the right way. So it's like, if y'all are going to say this, how my daddy say, put it on the table, Let's tell the true truth.
I was learned to put stuff on the table, say the truth, and it is what it is. So that's the whole thing with that.
When you put things on the table. How was it received on your fiance side? What was his response?
It wasn't good. But you know we've talked about between us, like why it wasn't good, it.
Wasn't good, or you didn't like what he say? What he said?
I mean, well I feel like that it wasn't good. I didn't like what he said, But once we talked about it, it's like, I won't say I'm more understanding, but it's just like it's certain things that you know, he kind of got to make sure to make sure that this project goes through. And that's all I'm gonna say.
Okay, shout out to my wife Tanisha. She just had a baby not too long ago. I mean it's actually over a year. But I was telling her I was an interview. She was like, you know what, you should ask her about this, And I'm gonna ask you, now, how is postpartum? And do men take that for granted?
It's real? It's I didn't really think it was that real because I was like, oh, I have a lot of help, you know, I don't think I'll be going through it. Baby. It hit me hard. It hit me very hard. Still, I had so much help and I still have so much help, And it's still thoughts that I'm like, why do I think like this? Even in the very beginning, I'm like, I feel like I should be happier me having a new baby. Why do I
feel like this different emotions that I had. It's very real, and no one really tells you how to deal with it. No one tells you, like a lot of stuff you will feel it is not real. No one tells you that a lot of thoughts you will think about it's not real. Just this is your emotions and your hormones trying to get back in tech. So you feel things. I felt things one hundred times more, stuff that I probably wouldn't even care about. It's like it stays in
my mind, you know what I'm saying. And I've never been that type of person, so it's very real. And like I said, I had all the help, so it doesn't matter the help you have, it's still I could have someone you know, helping me with my child, and it's still the thoughts that I have about just done lost my identity me being a new mom? Should I be happier? Like I don't lost myself? Do is what I ever become the person I was, you know before?
Which I realized I never will like that, DeAndre before Snow is gone, and I have to be okay with that and start to live in my new person as a mother. You know what I'm saying. But it definitely is a lot, and I think one of the biggest things is just for a new mom that's never had any kids, just you know, losing your identity and trying to regain it as a mother.
What are some things that you did or happened that you got through it or are you still dealing with it now?
I feel like I'm still dealing with it, but it's on the lower end. I feel like when I did have that in the beginning, and when everyone's say my crash out or whatever, I.
Do feel maybe I just call it a moment.
Yeah, my moment, because I'm like, I don't yet my moment. I feel like that was probably that month was probably the highest peak because I really couldn't control my emotions. And I've always been the type that worked on myself mentally, so I've always been able to control myself. But it's like postpartum. I don't know what's going on. So a lot of things that I have done to help it, I feel like, is like Chanelle said, finding something to do,
walking in my purpose, praying to God. I'm a journaler. That's why if a journal come alout, writing down my thoughts, writing down my stuff that I feel like no one will understand, but I can write it out, you know, give it to God. Pray about it and just really just do more things to where I'm just not sitting around taking care of my child having an idle mind, because that's when it gets you have too much time to think about, too much negativity.
With someone like yourself to have as a dad that is extremely popular, that takes so much public criticism. Did you call him or talk to him about any things like that? You give you some advice?
Yeah, you know, my dad always gives me advice. My dad knows me, so he's.
Always, Oh, somebody won't you, somebody won't you? Oh, what's up? Dog? What's up?
Man?
Fascinated? They I'm good with babies. I got five. Wow, I don't even get me started.
But yeah, you know, my daddy knows me. So when I did have my moment, he was like, I knew it was coming sooner or later. But you can't do that. You have to you know, you have to go about it like this. You can't just go off when you're mad like that, you know, Deandra. So we talked about it. He told me different ways to you know, handle stuff when I'm provoked, and just how to just kind of like walk away and just I need to just you know, get more back to me.
Now, are you practicing these things that he told you?
I'm practicing me because it's a lot of stuff I wanted to stay on social media that I haven't lately, So I would definitely say I'm practicing these things.
And are you and jack Ueeze in a good space right now?
You know, we're working on it, and I'm like I said before, I'm gonna let God take control and we're gonna see. We're gonna see what is what we see?
Now, you guys gonna be good? Man. Okay, I'm ready. I'm ready. Come on, let's play.
Okay, so we'll go start light.
Start light. Yeah, what's the difference in colors? What's the blue color and the purple color?
So the purple is dealing with sex. The conversation started on sex and relationships.
My daddy might see this, and.
Then it's a little bit deeper hell and journey navigating past pain and trauma.
Okay, I've been in therapy, so I'm good. Oh lord, Okay, we're gonna go blue. Yeah, Okay, can my wife be mad? I gotta read this.
Yeah.
Have you sought professional help or therapy to address your past pain or trauma, and how has your that experience been for you. This is great because I just graduated from weekly therapy to once a month. I have had a lot of like personal trauma that I feel like guarded me from trusting people one hundred percent. I still don't even take it all the way to one hundred percent. But I had really bad trust issues. I had bad temper, Okay, So I just understood that I had to channel my energy.
But I didn't close a lot of things that were kind of still open and passed relationships, friendships. A couple of my good friends passed away. One of them was murdered, so I never really got over it and then talking it out, crying it out. You know, I think as men like you just taught not to be emotional or cry. So in this therapy session, I was crying and I just kept getting mad every time I cried. Wow, So
I kept saying damn, like what's going on. So by the time I graduated through it, I ain't trying to get too deep. But I graduated through it. I was learning how to channel my emotions and my temper. And that's what I did. I did seek professional help. It's the best thing ever happened to me?
Okay, and I would ask in a situation like this, how does that play out in your relationship?
It plays out and everything, because now when my wife and I have a moment, I'm not saying things I shouldn't say. I'm not saying things that I don't mean in that I don't mean in the heat of an argument. I'm just taking a little breather because I'm over here, like you know, I really do love you. This is a ridiculous argument. Were gonna be cool in twenty minutes. So you know that has helped me that way, because now we went from little small moments to I barely
even have an issue with my wife. Yeah, she truly is my best friend. So yeah, it helps, man, it helps. But you gotta want to you gotta want to grow too, damn man. Man, Dad, I try to get too deep too early.
Man, because a lot of black men don't believe.
I didn't believe until a long time. To me a long time, just like.
Just giving you your flowers, because it takes a lot to really go to therapy and even like you said, continue doing the work.
Look, I got multiple baby mamas that used to be a bad I don't say a bad guy. I was outside and I never I kept realizing it's the same argument with a different person. It's me. Yeah, So I went and got help. So I know I have a platform, so I got to say it as much as possible per platform, because when I do say these things, people do DM me and say, hey, bro, I appreciate you saying that on that particular episode, I went and got help, so I appreciate that, yeah, for sure.
So that's the epitome of what it is that I do, having you articulate that and allowing other people who have similar experiences as you do hear you say that that you just planted a seed.
I just couldn't. I didn't. It took me so long to mentally articulate myself to be able to receive it too, because I just I'm just trying to get money, Like we just think, I get money, you know girls and go to the crib and just repeat and just get some money and some girls. You know. That's literally all I thought in my head. I didn't think legacy, family, I didn't think that deep into who I am and leaving a legacy for people to say, Okay, wow, that
what he did when he was here meant something. Yeah, and he touched a lot of people. So I I really didn't pay attention to it until I was at an age where I don't even think it was an age thing. I think I was at a moment in my life while I was ready to receive it. So I don't know. I think men we all mature differently. Some men never really mature fully to say, Okay, I'm cool with receiving this type of advice or mentorship or dealing with conflict. You know, a lot of men issues
are conflict resolution. It's just dumb arguments that lead to death that has nothing to do with it. Could have just been a quick conversation. Absolutely, If you really look at what we argue about as men, it's like the dumbest stuff ever. Yeah, it's like streets and neighborhoods and yeah, you looked at me wrong, and now I'll shoot you and your dad, and it's the cycle continues. There's literally stuff like that.
So yeah, all right, so let's do something a little lighter.
Yeah, let's go lighter man. Now, let's let bro the hell I feel I feel like I'm getting interviewed.
What are your views on the importance of sex and a romantic relationship.
Damn, go ahead this one.
It's not that bad my views are. You know, how important is it? It's important, but I will say that it's very important. I also will say that when you love someone and the chemistry is there, I feel like the other stuff is gonna, you know, be there as well. It's no way you're weird about. Especially if you have chemistry, then you know the sex is gonna be great because y'all have that type of chemistry.
Oh so you're saying you and Jack have great sex? Is that what you're saying? That's how, that's how, that's how the baby got here.
Well, y'all know how the baby got It's like I feel like, I mean, y'all should know the answer to that. We want to hear you say it, but it's like, I'm scared because my family might watch this.
Oh my god, I.
Know, but I don't want to talk about it. But I mean, shoot, y'all know what that nigga talk about sing about? Yeah, I know what's going on.
Okay, everything on top.
But yeah, so I just want to say it is it is very important because I have had a relationship like I said before, in the past where we had no sexual chemistry. It even got to the point where I felt bad for not you know, like having sex with him. And I was like, you know what, you can have sex with someone else if you will WHOA Because I was like, you know, I know you're a man, I know you have needs, but it's just it's not there for me, Like it's not there for me. But
so then you're in the relationship though. I mean, the thing is he treated me so good.
She's not talking about Jack Quice. Guys, definitely not you know what I'm saying.
Definitely not talking about him. But I was like, God, please let it in. Oh wow, Like, please do something where its naturally where I don't have to like you know, break him and stuff like that. And to what you pray for, a god will do. So God let it in. Something natural happen where we ended, and you know, it was what it was. It wasn't ended on super horrible terms. It was what it was.
So my turn, I'm going purple. I'm going purple. Do you have any boundaries or limits when it comes to sexual activities? I definitely got some boundaries for sure, Like what I don't you know I don't like you know, I mean, I mean I feel like I feel like, don't touch my butt. Okay, well I don't touch don't touch like, don't touch back there. You know what I'm saying. I would just like to say I have great sexual
chemistry with my wife. I've been with her for a long I love the way she smelled, taste all types of man. Savannah one time for Tanisa five years, six years this year. But again, she's the first woman I really said. I was like, wow, like I okay, this is this is when someone says my person right. I didn't know what that felt like until I met her.
Talk about that.
I just was I was outside a lot. You know, baby mama's child supports all type of shit. I'm good, but I just say that to say, you know, when I met her, I was like, wow, okay, one of my grooms men is back there, Jay Rock. I cried when I was saying the vows, like I was perfectly fine until I had to talk. You know what I'm saying. He was getting married, So like, you know, she cool. I feel like we have great chem street and everything. I can literally sit down and talk to her for
an hour straight person. I don't want to embarrass. I don't want to make her feel sad. I don't want her to I don't want to hear her feelings. You know what I'm saying.
Again, Yeah, say it again.
You know I'm not I'm not an R and B group singer. Man, Okay, I don't have a female audience.
I just want to hear what I didn't hear it.
You'll get into that, man, say that because you don't want to what I want.
Her her feelings.
But again, you know that's beautiful.
But don't don't do that.
I don't want to because I'm just saying.
I'm just Jacquice has a female audience. That's a completely different thing. When he hit the stage, I got that. I got that part. But I do know that that thing it's like a sometimes it's a thing that you guys gotta I feel like you just guys gotta have a nice, open, broad conversation about everything. I think everything that'd be on table, y'all gotta put everything on the table. Have y'all had that conversation yet? Everything on the table?
I mean I feel like I do. I'm very honest people, I've said that in many of my interviews. I'm too honest. Okay, So, like my daddy taught us, put it out on the table, So I've done that from the very beginning.
You think he does that? Is he guarded a little bit?
I don't know.
Okay.
I feel like I thought he did it, but now I honestly don't know.
Okay, Okay, but yeah, is your turn friend, Yes, ma'am, Yes, ma'am.
Prior to you, meaning your wife, did you consider or think about that's gonna make her sad? Like I want to know what was it that made the light.
Bulb clicked in my head when I said, oh why really? You know what I'm saying, like like she's my she's my lady. And then I kind of just I don't know, I just got soft for her. I don't, I don't. I'm not. I'm very aggressive, like I don't give a fucke person, you know, very hardcore, don't care about nobody feelings type thing, because in this industry you kind of have to be hard body like that, because that's just
how it is. But I went when I met her, you know, I mean one time we had a conversation, I was like, man, you heard my feelings. I don't even think I ever said that before to somebody, you know, when we was just talking about something. She kind of aggressive too, though, like she like she from my th She on the east side. She don't play. Said go in the middle.
Let's see what you got. How do you envision navigating potential challenges that may arise in our relationship due to our reprospective past pain and trauma?
Mm hm. We said that at the same time.
Come on, man, oh this is a deep one.
Is there anything that has transpired in your previous relationship that you find showing up in your current relationship?
Who I wish he could get this card? Honestly, No, okay, I've my past relationships were yeah. No, not really, not not on my end.
So you can honestly say that everything that you you've experienced in this current relationship was brought on by this current relationship, like this is new.
I won't even just say the relationship. I will say because in this relationship, it's been a whirlwind of emotions. I was pregnant, you know, emotions changed.
Then it's no proposed.
Yeah, no, it's not a secret. Everything I went through in the beginning, which was very you know, traumatic to me being pregnant, going through everything, new proposal, new move, new baby. It's like, I feel like I went through so many life changes that it probably affected my mentality and my emotions as well. So I won't just say just the relationship, but yes, I have definitely been differently in this relationship and experience things differently than any of the relationship I've been in.
I like this game. Is this for me? The crib? Okay, so you have to participate. You to participate, miss, I want you to do.
We need the guru answers. The purple is not really.
Yeah, fine, just because I'm single and have been for a while. Okay, all right, Can you share with me any significant experiences of pain or trauma from your past that have shaped who you are today?
Absolutely?
I think over time I have experienced a tremendous amount of rejection and that has shaped That's very honest how I approach relationships. You know, sometimes I have to do self talk and say, Okay, that wasn't personal.
They're not rejecting you, they're not ignoring you.
But maybe it's just your hyper sensitive to certain experiences because of past.
Pain and trauma.
I have this complex about not being chosen like you, Why did you choose her and not me?
And I have had that happen.
That's like a pattern in my life any significant relationship, there was always another female involved.
Always. Oh wow, rejection is protection. I learned that because I used to think like that too in the past and as time when now, Oh, God has protecting me from this because it would have went a whole different ways. So rejection is protection sometimes I.
Have God has blessed me to be able to see how some of those scenarios and those people over time have turned out, and he was protecting you because I'm like, this situation didn't age well to day as well, and I probably would want a divorce, you know by now. So I'm able to see that now, But for a long time I always personalize it or internalize it and made it about me. He didn't want me and what could I change about me?
So wow, I appreciate you guys, Miss Chanelle, Nicole, Scott Dean and just Sander's pulling up on the ball or show before we go, Shadure NFL Draft. What team you want him to go to? They say he's top five. What team do you not want? Him to go to.
Top two and not number two. I don't really have a team. I just so proud of him for the way he works hard and his worth ethic and it's like, he's really done this thing right. You know, you always have my dad to lead you, but you gotta want it as well for sure. So he's done this thing right. So I'm just proud of him where ever team he goes, Like, I just you know, want him to go where he would like to go. That's the best fit for him, And I'm just proud of him matter where he goes.
Shout out to your family, man. You guys are very supportive of everybody, man the whole. I'm gonna be sad to see everything dismantled a little bit because I mean, when goes, is DeAndre I mean he's mister Junior going with him? Or is he staying with dad?
We're gonna have to see.
Yeah, it's Deion Sanders junr Is going with dad or with his brother.
We're gonna have to see.
And I know you're gonna support everybody.
I mean, I'm gonna support your door and Shilow. This is really huge.
Oh yeah, Shiloh too. So Sharlow's working out, yes, okay, okay.
Okay, Shadow's definitely working out. He's you know, Headache gang all day.
Yeah yeah, okay, so yeah, I.
Mean I support both of them. I'm still gonna support my daddy as well. I'll still be at the Colorado Gang.
Okay, Okay, I just have to split my time in between that. I like that new quarterback you got though.
Oh yeah, yeah yeah, I like that.
Okay, any shout outs, any last words, I do something called the mental health check in. But hell, we just did.
We did.
That's real. Yeah, I don't go to do nothing really. Yeah.
Mom's how y'all feeling with postpartum?
Thank you for addressing that. That's a big deal.
You know know you're not alone for sure. Moms out there.
Follow You can follow me at Chanella Colescott and all social media platforms of.
Course follow me. They're already following her. Ball. You guys got to come back together. This was cool, Yes, that was This was cool, and we went viral first. She was our first viral interview back in twenty twenty three. I don't want to talk about it because I want because we was. It is everywhere, man, everywhere. But you know, you are a family of the show, and miss Scott you are now family to show as well. We can do this live now on our own way right here,
a hearty. We got a whole lounge and there we could do this live too, and we can have a whole little yeah yeah yeah, let's put that on this calendar that for summertime or something. Yeah, after the draft. So having ball alert, peace, Oliver al al al a