As the massive Trixie and Katya Tour starts its journey to a destination filled with tears, sweat, and a ton of dirty underwear, we revisit the low-stress times of 2021 where we gathered in a small studio to chat about Cheesecake Factory's Skinnylicious Menu, wigs in movies, and our unadulterated love of Panda Express's orange chicken. This episode begs the question, "Will Trixie and Katya survive a months-long live tour together?" Follow Trixie: @TrixieMattel Follow Katya: @Katya_Zamo To watch ...
Mar 29, 2022•54 min•Ep. 73
As the sun sets and twilight arrives, the ghosts of magic hour appear on the horizon. Your callused hands work furiously to finish attaching the buttons to a new pair of slacks that hide your tiny calves while simultaneously accentuating the hills and valleys where the boys reside. As you take a break to demand that the lotion be placed into the basket, you place your new face on top of your own, marveling at the gentle beauty and the exquisite cheekbones. Your breath is momentarily lost as you ...
Mar 22, 2022•1 hr 8 min•Ep. 72
As the sun rises over a stark, barren desert landscape, you open stained hotel blinds and squint your eyes as they adjust to the sudden brightness beyond the glass pane. You catch a slight whiff of your heinous morning breath, careless about its effect on others as it's been nine days since you last saw another human being. The difference between day and night has begun to blur, as time has ceased to exist. Has this Christopher Nolan movie been on for two hours? Four hours? Six hours? Does it ev...
Mar 08, 2022•58 min•Ep. 71
There are times in life when it seems as if the entire world is against you. Nothing is going right, everything feels a bit off, and you just want to crawl into a hole and disappear. In those times of despair, don't fret, honey. Everything you need to live your most glorious life is neatly and efficiently contained in today's episode of Bald. From serial-killer dating tips to useless trivia to cleaning advice for gentleman's relish stains, the following hour of audio will brighten your smile, yo...
Feb 22, 2022•53 min•Ep. 70
The steady advance of technology marches on, continuous and unceasing. In 1900, less than 10% of families owned a stove, a phone, or had electricity. Fast forward 122 years, and through the real-life miracles of latex, hair implants, and 3D scanning, sex dolls are ready to take their rightful place at the throne of humankind. Let us be the first to give a warm welcome to our squishy, clammy overlords. Follow Trixie: @TrixieMattel Follow Katya: @Katya_Zamo To watch our podcast on YouTube: http://...
Feb 08, 2022•47 min•Ep. 69
The low hum of The Macarena wafts into your one-bedroom apartment, the source of the 90s earworm a vague mystery. Dusk is slowly dawning on the other side of the thin, sun-rotted curtains. Murder She Wrote is just concluding on The Hallmark Channel as you turn off a dusty lamp and grab a chilled Ensure from your mostly-empty refrigerator. After your wig is safely ensconced on a styrofoam bust on the vanity, you struggle to open your blood-pressure pills with arthritic fingers made all the more s...
Jan 25, 2022•53 min•Ep. 68
The sun is beginning to set behind a rusty white sign made of corrugated metal on top of a barren hill. A crisp breeze meanders through the "HOLLY", past the "WOOD", and down through the fetid streets of Tinseltown, carrying with it the scent of concealer, latex, sadness, and the sudden realization that Los Angeles is built upon an inherently-ridiculous foundation of misplaced hopes and dreams. It is within this setting that makeup artist, model, and visual chameleon Alexis Stone joins Trixie an...
Jan 11, 2022•59 min•Ep. 67
With the season 14 premiere of RuPaul's Drag Race only days away, Trixie and Katya take a stroll down memory lane to discuss the highlights, the lowlights, and everything in-between from the entire history of Drag Race. All from the comfort of a balcony at dusk. Don't miss the season premiere on Friday, January 7th at 8/7c only on VH1! Follow Trixie: @TrixieMattel Follow Katya: @Katya_Zamo Big thank you to @Phoebe_Bing_Bong for the exhaustive RuPaul's Drag Race research! To listen to our podcast...
Jan 05, 2022•51 min•Ep. 66
As 2021 comes to a not-so-glorious close, let us reflect upon the things that matter most to us in a world filled with death, destruction, and chaos: reupholstered couches, scathing movie reviews, and the solemn act of cancelling otherwise-amazing New Years Eve plans in favor of binging TV whilst wearing a popcorn-dispensing hat. From all of us here at the Bald & Beautiful headquarters, Happy New Years you filthy troglodytes. Believe it or not, we'll see you in 2022. Follow Trixie: @TrixieMa...
Dec 28, 2021•49 min•Ep. 65
'Twas four days before Christmas, and all through the club, not a single bear was stirring, not even a cub. The fishnets were hung, by the faux fireplace with care, in the hopes that Trixie and Katya, would magically sprout thick, luscious hair. They were comfy and nestled, all snug in their beds, whilst questions of "Who would play her?" danced through their heads. When out on the boulevard, there arose such a clatter, it was their crazy neighbor Andre, dressed like the Mad Hatter. He yelled up...
Dec 21, 2021•51 min•Ep. 64
The fragrant garland has been lovingly hung, a faint scent of Douglas fir is carried on the breeze, and a nip is clearly in the air. As the decorative gourds from Thanksgiving slowly decay in a rusty dumpster next to the backdoor of a shady Thai restaurant, it's impossible to ignore: the holiday season is upon us. And what better season than the winter solstice celebration to discuss the best local Sniffies stairwells & parking garages, memorable visible p*nis lines, and the definition of "t...
Dec 14, 2021•54 min•Ep. 63
From music stardom as a teenager to a Grammy win with Santana to numerous appearances on TV and Film, Michelle Branch has been an icon of rock and pop music for more than two decades. This week, the insanely talented singer and songwriter joins Trixie to discuss her illustrious career, her family life, and everything in between. Follow Michelle: @MichelleBranch Follow Trixie: @TrixieMattel Follow Katya: @Katya_Zamo To listen to our podcast on YouTube: http://bit.ly/TrixieKatyaYT Don’t forget to ...
Dec 07, 2021•1 hr 5 min•Ep. 62
The city is silent. The streets are empty. As a grizzled gay ghoul sits alone in a dimly-lit apartment, his belly warmed from a 12-year-old Scotch, he looks down at his crotch. It might be the booze or that ill-advised 2am bean burrito, but his little friend down south begins speaking. He strains his ears to hear what the little guy is saying: "Come closer. Put on some headphones. Henceforth, you will be known as DJ Crypto Meth." Follow Trixie: @TrixieMattel Follow Katya: @Katya_Zamo To listen t...
Nov 30, 2021•47 min•Ep. 61
As trees across the nation cease the production of chlorophyll and we celebrate the slow, agonizing death of leaves, let us pause for a moment and reflect on the little things we mistakenly deem important in our tiny, inconsequential, ultimately meaningless lives: random voicemails from 2019, Wife Swap marathons, and the image of Lady Gaga eating a cannoli whilst dripping mascarpone all over her Oscar statue. Follow Trixie: @TrixieMattel Follow Katya: @Katya_Zamo To listen to our podcast on YouT...
Nov 23, 2021•46 min•Ep. 60
Close the sashes, draw the curtains, light some candles, and let's welcome the one, the only, Guillermo from What We Do in the Shadows, Harvey Guillén! Listen as Trixie and Katya fan-girl the f**k out in an amazing interview which covers everything from Harvey's magical audition story to the show's countless running gags to the ever-expanding set & costume design in subsequent seasons. If you've ever seen this shockingly funny show, today's episode will hit you like a migraine of joy with a ...
Nov 16, 2021•1 hr 3 min•Ep. 59
As Trixie continues her convalescence in a rustic chalet in the heart of the Swiss Alps, Katya joins her for an education on the health benefits of red wine and fondue when consumed at high altitudes. Eventually, the two touch upon such weighty topics as thermometer technology, hetero-societal wedding norms, micro-penis charities, and the perils of porn fasts. Follow Trixie: @TrixieMattel Follow Katya: @Katya_Zamo To listen to our podcast on YouTube: http://bit.ly/TrixieKatyaYT Don’t forget to s...
Nov 09, 2021•42 min•Ep. 58
Fresh off a semi-successful back-alley appendix surgery in the frigid Midwest, Trixie joins Katya to talk about her end-of-life epiphany: from here on out, it's goodwill, love, and charity forever! Or, in reality, they talk about painful diarrhea, airplane breakfasts, and yeast infections. Either way, here's some brand-spanking-new Bald content for you filthy peasants. Follow Trixie: @TrixieMattel Follow Katya: @Katya_Zamo To listen to our podcast on YouTube: http://bit.ly/TrixieKatyaYT Don’t fo...
Nov 02, 2021•41 min•Ep. 57
This week's episode is a special occasion, you filthy animals. So trim your nose hair, shave your shoulders, and slather on some Drakkar Noir to cover up your disgusting musk. Trixie and Katya explore such weighty topics as traveling toddlers, murderous maladies, and automotive intercourse. So dim the lamps, light the jack-o-lantern, and settle in to experience the most terrifying tales of mung-diving you'll hear this entire Halloween season. Follow Trixie: @TrixieMattel Follow Katya: @Katya_Zam...
Oct 26, 2021•53 min•Ep. 56
As Fall finally arrives and brings with it the deaths of millions upon millions of poor, innocent leaves, let's take a moment to reflect on the comedic genius that is Macy Rodamn's Caitlyn Jenner impersonation. As the Bald creative team puts the finishing touches on the next great American novel, we revisit the time that artist, singer, actor, and IGTV Hall of Famer Macy Rodman joined the girls in the studio to discuss her Caitlyn Jenner Impersonation, Lana Del Rey-fueled Twitter Mobs, and the a...
Oct 19, 2021•1 hr 11 min•Ep. 55
As the Bald & the Beautiful creative team engages in To-The-Death team-building exercises in a volcano off the shores of North Africa, we'd like to revisit one of our favorite episodes with editor, producer, & creator of the legendary internet phenomenon Jiz, Jeff Maccubbin! Extraordinarily erudite topics are discussed, such as POV porn, inserting birds into UNHhhh, and the shortcomings of our public school system. Also cum. Lots and lots of talk about cum. Follow Jeff: @EvilJeff Follow ...
Oct 12, 2021•1 hr•Ep. 54
As we plan a few forthcoming Bald projects to satiate you filthy heathens, we re-visit one of our favorite episodes with the peerless, legendary, incomparable queen of TikTok, Brittany Broski (aka "Kombucha Girl"). She joins Trixie and Katya to talk about her intoxicating vanilla musk scent, the perils of meme culture, her stellar cosmeceuticals skills, and the secret magic of Dave & Buster's. Follow Brittany: @Brittany_Broski Follow Trixie: @TrixieMattel Follow Katya: @Katya_Zamo To watch t...
Oct 05, 2021•1 hr 4 min•Ep. 53
From rubber genitalia in a parking lot to refried bean-induced gastrointestinal distress to broom closets stuffed with depressed backup dancers, today's episode is a life-lesson in how to turn off your AM radio, sit down in a quiet room with saltines and warm milk, and thank whatever heathen god you happen to worship for your blessed life. And if you don't believe you lead a blessed life, you will after experiencing the unadulterated joy that is slowly consuming crispy saltines and room-temperat...
Sep 28, 2021•57 min•Ep. 52
Times, friends, they are a changin'. From a full-throated endorsement of the Cheesecake Factory's Skinnylicious Menu to an erudite debate about wigs in film to a profession of unadulterated love towards Panda Express's orange chicken, this week's episode begs the question, "Should Trixie and Katya spend less time together?" Follow Trixie: @TrixieMattel Follow Katya: @Katya_Zamo To watch the podcast on YouTube: http://bit.ly/TrixieKatyaYT Don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast for free wherever...
Sep 21, 2021•54 min•Ep. 51
From the reproductive F.U.B.A.R. that is Texas to the epic grunts and fiery topspin of female tennis players to Trixie's unseating of Diplo as the world's most famous DJ, today's episode is chock-full of life lessons and inspirational teachings to help you be a better, loving human being. Or it's 45 minutes of two queens talking about sex, drugs, and polygamy. You'll have to listen to find out. Follow Trixie: @TrixieMattel Follow Katya: @Katya_Zamo To watch the podcast on YouTube: http://bit.ly/...
Sep 14, 2021•55 min•Ep. 50
From the lows of making an unfortunate calendar-based Twitter faux pas to the highs of a stupendous, scintillating, splendiferous Violet Chachki performance, today's episode is a shining beacon of light upon a hilltop surround by the dreck that is the contemporary podcast oeuvre. Put down that dollar-store frozen burrito, slap on some deodorant, and try to pretend that you're a civilized human being for forty-five minutes instead of a rancid sack of flesh and hair. Also, Happy Labor Day, you hea...
Sep 07, 2021•51 min•Ep. 49
Put some extra ice in that Arnold Palmer, unwrap a refreshing York Peppermint Patty, and crank up that air conditioning, you sweaty hogs. Rejoice as we celebrate the swamp-ass-laden zenith of summer! Amidst crappy news of hurricanes and political turmoil, we take a fantastical trip down memory lane to discuss disco music, swimming pool self-abuse, gift-giving etiquette, and the sheer brilliance of 90's music videos. Follow Trixie: @TrixieMattel Follow Katya: @Katya_Zamo To watch the podcast on Y...
Aug 31, 2021•1 hr•Ep. 48
If you're the type of person who enjoys a Nicolas Cage-style treasure hunt through the dark, seedy depths of pop culture, today's episode is going to arouse you. From cinematic trash to genetically-perfect Hollywood specimens to the phenomenon of Ryan Murphy market-saturation, nothing is safe from the critical gaze of Trixie and Katya. Follow Trixie: @TrixieMattel Follow Katya: @Katya_Zamo To watch the podcast on YouTube: http://bit.ly/TrixieKatyaYT Don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast for f...
Aug 24, 2021•58 min•Ep. 47
It's time to pop open that Boku juice box you've been saving since the 1996 Summer Olympics and let that adult-oriented fruit juice blend wash over you in an orgasm of black cherry and white grape. Today, Trixie and Katya hold center stage to talk about the benefits of gymnastics leotards, confronting one's own mortality, and C.S.I. Miami sex. Follow Trixie: @TrixieMattel Follow Katya: @Katya_Zamo To watch the podcast on YouTube: http://bit.ly/TrixieKatyaYT Don’t forget to subscribe to the podca...
Aug 17, 2021•56 min•Ep. 46
It's time to put on your fancy underwear and start chilling that box wine, because the co-editors of UNHhhh, Jeff Maccubbin & Ronald Hill, join the girls in the studio to talk about the best porn scenarios, flesh-eating rockabilly chicks, and the dirty secrets to UNHhhh's brilliance. (hint: it involves dark magic and doughnuts) Follow Jeff: @EvilJeff Follow Ron: @ArtOfWot Follow Trixie: @TrixieMattel Follow Katya: @Katya_Zamo To check out UNHhhh: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gAynLsuMD30&a...
Aug 10, 2021•1 hr 10 min•Ep. 45
Trixie and Katya are joined this week by none other than comedians, actors, and hosts of A Woman's Smile podcast, Patti Harrison and River Ramirez. Sit down, relax, and let the auditory waves wash over your soul as this quartet of excellence cover topics ranging from masturbatory-themed podcasts, serial-killer wombs, and lubrication derived from all-American natural resources. Follow River Ramirez: @PileOfTears Follow Patti Harrison: @Party_Harderson Follow Trixie: @TrixieMattel Follow Katya: @K...
Aug 03, 2021•1 hr 7 min•Ep. 44
