My guest, Anthony Eaton lost his partner to cancer only 5 weeks before this episode recording. With the loss being so fresh, Anthony demonstrates inspiring courage as he shares about their life together, 4 years of caregiving, and finally saying goodbye. Anthony shares some golden nuggets of wisdom for caregivers and for those who have experienced the loss of a loved one. He brings such a fresh and admirable perspective and attitude about such a difficult time in his life. Anthony is a writer an...
May 17, 2022•53 min•Season 2022Ep. 20
Terry McHale shares his story of having highly religious parents and how unauthentically he lived his young life in order to survive. Being who he really was...was anything but safe. Even though he was well liked and respected in school, there was a painful emptiness because he was not able to be himself. That emptiness led him to attempt suicide, while in college. This turned out to be a defining moment in his life and the road from shame to authenticity has been a long and challenging journey....
May 10, 2022•55 min•Season 2022Ep. 19
Craig Brucato shares his story of the years that he spent in the closet, denying who he really was and how it lead him down a path of drug addiction and destructive behaviors. He also shares how he found redemption and his way to a happy and fulfilling life, filled with a great career, loving children and grandchildren, and a healthy relationship. Craig works for a corporate beauty company and is a coach. Craig's Profile Be a Guest Follow on Facebook Maddox's Links Mailing List Signup Rate &...
May 03, 2022•1 hr•Season 2022Ep. 18
If abandonment issues have been a part of your life, Tim shares his wisdom in how he took responsibility for healing and moving past the pain. He also speaks of how authenticity and vulnerability played a pivotal role in his resilience and overall journey to fulfillment. There's some worthwhile conversation on control issues and what causes our need for control. At age 73, Tim is still learning and growing and he clearly proves that you are never too old and it is never too late to go for the li...
Apr 26, 2022•47 min•Season 2022Ep. 17
My guest, Brian George, shares that the messages he received while growing up were so strong that he truly believed he could never be his authentic self... he would die pretending to be someone other than who he was. This caused him to live with deep depression, anxiety, and a profound desire to end his life... end his pain. This went on from high school until his early 50s. It was an affair with another man that opened his eyes and helped him realize that he could no longer deny who he was. Fro...
Apr 19, 2022•1 hr 7 min•Season 2022Ep. 16
Whether you are a parent or not, this story will inspire you, warm your heart, and leave you in awe. My guest, Brian Gorman, gets a call one day from a high school student that was being thrown out of his home, with nowhere to go. Brian had had a brief experience with this young man two years earlier when he agreed to be interviewed by Brandon for a school project. Now, two years later, Brian is confronted with making a snap decision to either help the young man or walk away. His level of integr...
Apr 12, 2022•54 min•Season 2022Ep. 15
Jonathan Rivera shares his experience with the more subtle aspects of racism. His big challenge is around frequently feeling like he is excluded in social settings. It's glaringly obvious when he is only one of a couple of men of color in a room filled with white gay men, who don't acknowledge him and treat his as if he is invisible. He talks about his journey from victimhood to learning to take responsibility for his part in these situations. Our dialog explores many options of how he can take ...
Apr 05, 2022•1 hr 14 min•Season 2022Ep. 14
If you have experienced rape or sexual assault, this is your episode. My guest, Michael Ward, was raped and later sexually assaulted by the same perpetrator. A few years later, he endured sexual assault again, this time from a man he was in relationship with. With no real support from family of other gay friends, these experiences caused Michael to take a long hard look at his life and the choices he was making. At one point, he considered taking his own life. Instead, he got creative in ways to...
Mar 29, 2022•51 min•Season 2022Ep. 13
Jimmy Allen brings such authenticity and vulnerability to this episode as he shares his painful experience of discovering he had a skin disease called Vitiligo. This disease causes loss of skin color in patches and is most commonly found is people of color. He recounts his journey from denial, resistance, and desperation to self-love and self-acceptance. His heartfelt way of telling his story was so emotionally charged that I could feel it. If you have ANYTHING about yourself that you are strugg...
Mar 22, 2022•1 hr 16 min•Season 2022Ep. 12
Guest, Pedro Dorta and I take a deep dive into social masks and how they completely block any chance of emotional intimacy. We also discuss how delusional we are to think that others don't see through our masks. Like attracts like, so when you show up wearing a mask, you will attract others that are wearing a mask. It you want hints into lowering the mask and experiencing more connectedness, stay tuned. Pedro is a graphic artist, website creator, and a coach in training. Pedro's Profile Be a Gue...
Mar 15, 2022•53 min•Season 2022Ep. 11
Britt East tells his dark story of a deeply codependent relationship and having no family or community to rely on when his partner betrayed him by having sex with a minor. After horrific police brutality and an arrest, Britt's life was left in shambles. The saga does have a happy ending and a treasure trove of golden nuggets of wisdom in all that Britt shares. If you want to be inspired by Britt's courage and resilience, this episode is for you. Britt's Profile Britt's Website Britt's Book: A Ga...
Mar 08, 2022•1 hr 12 min•Season 2022Ep. 10
If you have ever struggled with approval issues, I hope you hang with me for this episode. My guest, Warren shares his story of emotional abandonment, a lack of belonging, being date raped and how it set him up to be an extreme people pleaser. For many years, he actually used money to buy people's love, attention, and approval. He talked about how out of alignment he was with his core values and just how bad it had to get before he asked for legitimate professional help. He had his "phoenix risi...
Mar 01, 2022•1 hr 1 min•Season 2022Ep. 9
If you would like to have a better understanding of Authenticity, this Fireside Chat With Maddox is for you. My guests, Ed S, Randy Woodring, and Britt East and I take a deep dive into what it means to be an authentic gay man. We each delve into questions such as... In the past, what has stood in your way of being authentic? What does NOT being authentic cost you? How do you know when you are actually authentic? What do you gain by showing up authentically? The conversation was deep, very connec...
Feb 26, 2022•1 hr 11 min0
If you have ever felt like you were on "the outside, looking in", you'll gain value from this episode, so stay tuned! Ed shares life growing up as a Jehovah's Witness and how their rules kept him cut off from the outside world. When he made the decision to leave the religion at age 27, he suddenly found himself alone, with no support system whatsoever. With no sense of belonging and feeling very emotionally numb, Ed set out to find himself and his tribe. A challenging and courageous 14 year jour...
Feb 22, 2022•1 hr 5 min•Season 2022Ep. 8
Grant Miller shares his experience in two separate relationships with narcissists, saying that he obviously didn't learn his lesson with the first one. He details what a narcissist looks like and the many ways that they behave. He recounts what this experience cost him and what he gained, once it was all said and done. If this wasn't enough, he then went through a battle with colon cancer. He speaks of his journey into self-love and self-care, from codependent to interdependent. Grant learned to...
Feb 15, 2022•1 hr 3 min•Season 2022Ep. 7
If you have ever struggled with masculinity or shame issues, you'll want to give this episode a listen. My guest, Travis Stock, shares his struggle with all the early messages he received about masculinity and how much shame was associated with his own masculinity. He relates how all the coping mechanisms that he created as a child that were put in place to keep him safe, were the same coping mechanisms that held him back as an adult. He unpacks his journey of dismantling these coping mechanisms...
Feb 08, 2022•1 hr 12 min•Season 2022Ep. 6
Brent gets really real as he shares his childhood trauma with his dysfunctional family and how it eventually led to serious drug abuse and addiction. He tells vivid details of how his drug use went for being a means of coping and fitting in to the cool crowd to taking a dark turn for the worst. Contemplating suicide on many occasions and finally hitting rock bottom when another drug user stole his car, many of his personal possessions, and left him in the middle of the Nevada desert on a cold No...
Feb 01, 2022•1 hr 2 min•Season 2022Ep. 5
Guest, Taurean L Washington and Maddox talk about the intersection where gay meets racism. Taurean shares some painful experiences and how he has learned to navigate racism in a healthy and respectful manner. Taurean’s warmth, friendliness, and playfulness shine throughout the episode. He examples beautiful authenticity. Taurean is a sign language expert, an interpreter, and a dance instructor. Taurean's Profile Be a Guest Follow on Facebook Maddox's Links Mailing List Signup Rate & Review...
Jan 25, 2022•1 hr 3 min•Season 2022Ep. 4
John shares his heart wrenching story of the fear that prevented him from coming out until later in life and how that process took over 30 years before he could say that he was completely out of the closet. If you or someone you know is struggling with the coming out process, this episode is filled with meaningful insights and golden nuggets of wisdom. John also shares a story of his police arrest and how he chose to champion himself in a manner that changed his life for the better. John is an e...
Jan 16, 2022•49 min•Season 2022Ep. 3
Bryan Kosarek shares harsh life events that separated him from his authentic self when he was 8 years old. He tells his story of awareness, growth, and evolution to find his way back to living in alignment with his core values, passion, and purpose. We each share our own experience with "mid-life crisis", only to find out that we languaged a similar experience in a very different way. Bryan courageously demonstrates the power of vulnerability. If you have ever struggled with finding your purpose...
Jan 10, 2022•1 hr 4 min•Season 2022Ep. 2
Host, Coach Maddox, introduces his co-host for this episode, Ed Salamanca. In their open and honest dialog, Maddox reveals some aspects of his own quest to be an authentic gay man. He also shares the mission of the podcast and what it is going to look like. The range of topics will be broad, but everything will circle back to more fully becoming an authentic gay man. When we become our authentic self, a world of meaningful relationships and other opportunities are available to us that were not t...
Jan 03, 2022•55 min•Season 2022Ep. 1
You're listening to The Authentic Gay Man Podcast . I'm your host, Maddox. And, just so you know, Maddox is my last name and what I go by. The purpose of this podcast is to support gay men in becoming more authentically who they really are, so they can reap the rewards of having deeper and more meaningful friendships with other gay men. If you're anything like me, the idea of deeper and more meaningful friendships really appeals. In each episode, I engage in an intimate conversation with my gues...
Jan 01, 2022•2 min0
