Bleep!

From your friends at PBSQ.

Hey everyone, Arthur Reed here with a question for you podcast listeners. You know how sometimes you hear stuff you Want to hear? Like what people say. You're out! Arthur, you missed a ball. You lost a game. Boo. Or something your sister might say. Um, Arthur's eating ice cream after you told him not Or something your mom might say. Put that ice cream back in the freezer, young man. In order not to hear those things, wouldn't it be great if there was a machine that could bleep him out?

I mean, there is a bleeper for TV shows and podcasts. Though that bleeper is for words you're not supposed to say. Like the word DW heard in a gift shop a few days ago. Look Arthur, isn't that a pretty glass bird? It is. Mom would love that. I'm gonna get her for her birthday. How about for my birthday? You'd break it in two seconds, DW. Here, hold the mic while I go by the bird. Okay, but hurry up because waiting for you is boring. I told you to watch your leg!

I say what I want! It's a free country! Ooh, this kid's fighting with his mom. That's not boring. That's interesting. I'm warning you, Liam. Stop with a sass. I'm warning you, Liam. Stop with a sass. Okay, you're grounded. You can forget about that concert. What? You can't do that! I can. And I have. Well, that's just Liam! Oh, look what you made me do! Arthur, Arthur, Arthur! Hang on, DW, I'm almost done. Thank you.

Arthur, Arthur, Arthur! Stop pulling my sleeve. What? Okay, so this kid said a word and it made his mom drop a plate on the ground. What was the word? It sounded like wait. You'd better put down your shopping bag. I don't want you to drop Mom's bird. I'm not gonna drop the bird. At least go stand on the grass, so if you do drop it, it won't smash into a zillion pieces. Okay, I'm on the grass. Go ahead. Okay. So the word was way.

Does anyone else have something that might fall and break? We're alone on the street, EW. Come on, I wanna go home. Okay, so the word was DW! You dropped the bag! I told you! Is the bird broken? Oh no. You it's fine. DW, you can never say that word again. Never, not ever, never. Why? Because it makes people drop stuff? No, because if you say it in front of mom or dad or any grown-up, their heads will explode.

Really? No, not really. But it will make them super upset. Cause it's that bad. Why is it so bad? What does it mean? I can't tell you. It's just the worst word ever. Wow, if Arthur can't tell me, who can? Hmm.

It's the next day podcast people. I brought the mic to school because I know just who to ask. The Tibble twins. The loudest, meaniest kids in my class. Ready, Tommy and Timmy? Is the mic on? This is Tommy Tibble, world's greatest kid, reporting live from recess. So the word I need to know about. The word you're never supposed to say is... She said it. My ear. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. He's kidding DW. You never heard that word before? They say it on TV all the time. You mean I can say it?

I can say not in front of grown-ups. Especially not a teacher. That's what Arthur said. Why can't you say it in front of grown-ups? Because it's a swear. What does that mean? It means grown-ups hate it. But why? It turns them into zombies. Like this. Hey Tommy! I love to have my own zombie. Then try it! Try it on Miss Morgan! Do it! You mean just go right up to our teacher and say it? I'll give you a dollar if you do. Yeah. I don't know if I trust you, Timmy. Maybe I should

That's my mom. Bye. Scaredy cat. You don't deserve to know that word. Hey hun, how is school? Okay, I guess. Is something wrong? Well, I kind of want to ask you a question. Only I can't. I don't want to accidentally turn you into a zombie. I wouldn't want that either. I'd miss being your mom. I need to find something out. Only I don't know how to find it out. Because I can't ask you or dad. Well you could ask Arthur or a friend you trust. A friend I trust, like Visita Molina.

Podcast people, I'm taking the mic over to Visita's house. If I can get her to say the word to her parents, then I can see if they turn into zombies. Hey Visita! Hi DW! I was wondering if you ever heard the word No one can tell me what it means! Or what it does. Hmm. I never heard it before. Maybe you could ask your mom or dad. Sure, I'll go ask right now. Woohoo! Okay, so I'm gonna watch from this bush in case a bunch of zombies start coming.

W, where are you? Mom wants you to set the table for dinner. I'm at Visita's. I'm kind of busy right now. So Visita's on the porch talking with her brother. Yeah. But he's not turning into a Now Mr. Molina is coming. He's walking down the steps all weird. Just like a zombie. Oh, wait. He has a cast on his foot. That's why he's walking weird. Ouch. DW! Mom says you have to come home now. No. I can't! I'm busy! Do you really want me to tell mom you're too busy to set the table? Sure! Thanks!

So now Mrs. Bolina's coming up. Putting plates on the picnic table No Don't go inside I can't see you if you're inside Wait, wait. She came back out. She's putting food on the table, food and napkins. DW Reed, come home, please. In a minute. Hey, mama, what happens if I stay... Sorry. Was that a battle? What on earth are you doing in that bush, DW? I heard it from DW. She's over there. Oh no, oh no, oh no, oh no! Oh You're a Winifred Reid! Hey podcast listeners, it's me, Arthur.

The mic went out because the minute DW said that word, in front of Mom and Mrs. Melina, her worst fears came true. Thunder roared down from the sky, and all over town grown-ups dropped their dinner, their computers. into zombies. Actually none of that happened. What did happen is DW dropped the mic, then Visita's mom talked to our mom, and DW had to apologize and go to her room.

It's not fair, podcast people! I'm stuck in my room and mom's never letting me out. Are you ready to come down for dinner, DW? I'm innocent, Mom! This is all Arthur's fault! How is it Arthur's fault? Everything is Arthur's fault! Actually, this is more the Tibbles fault. They told me the word turned grown-ups into zombies, and I just had to know if it was true. Well, I guess that's something you would want to know.

Because I didn't want to turn you or dad into zombies. You thought you'd get Vicita to test it on her parents. Was that nice, DW? Was that Not exactly. I can assure you that words don't turn people into zombies ever. Then why is the word so bad? Because most people are offended by it. It's as simple as that. What does offended mean? Offended means hurt, upset. Especially when someone Vesita's age or yours uses.

Like that. Even if it's by accident? Well, most people say that word on purpose. And by saying it, they're kind of saying, I want to hurt your feelings. This is big stuff, Mom. Huge. Are you ready for some dinner? Yes. So so hungry. Bye podcast people. The end.

It wasn't quite the end though. What's really weird about this story is that I never say that bleep word. Never until mom's birthday when I was wrapping her birthday. Uh where'd I put the tape? Arthur, Arthur, Arthur! DW! You made me drop mom's bird! Arthur Oh I know, I know. I shouldn't have said that word. But why'd you yell so loud? Because Dad said to tell you that mom's ready to open her presents and cut the cake. Great. Only now her presence broke.

I saved up my allowance for a polylocket doll. You could have it for another bird if you want. As long as you never say that word again. Really? Wow, that's so nice of you. I am nice. Pretty much perfect, in fact. Yeah, I wouldn't go with that. Dear DW D. G. asks, Dear DW, is it harder being the younger kid? The middle kid or the older kid? It's harder being me, because Arthur is always bossing me around and saying he wants to watch Bionic Bunny and Baby Kate just goo-goos all the time.

And once I had to change her stinky diaper. Ugh No one ever listens to me and I'm the smartest. They're listening to you now. About time. Question two is from Mia S. Dear DW, if you had a million dollars, what would you do with it? Is that a lot of money or a little? It's a lot of money! A galaxy of money! Goody! Then I'd buy ice cream and the Merry Mookow farm set complete with Country Kitchenette and Grain Silo. Would I still have money left over?

Definitely. Yes. Then I would buy my mom a new hairbrush. Because I accidentally lost hers. Only don't tell. That's it for now. Send your questions to me. DRDW. See you later, Elevator! And that's the show podcast nation. If you liked it, ask your grown-up to subscribe so you don't miss any new episodes. You can listen to all our podcasts.

And more at PBSKids.org. The Arthur Podcast is produced for PBS Kids by GBH Kids in partnership with Hothead Creative Studios and distributed by PBS Kids and PRX. Thanks for listening. Support for this podcast and the following message for parents comes from IKEA. As a parent, you child proof everything, well, almost everything. You may not have thought about one thing, and that's securing your dressers and chests to the wall. It helps avoid dangerous tip-over accidents.

The curate from IKEA, working to create safer homes together. From PRX.