¶ Connecting Through Casual Conversations
Well , hi there , welcome to another episode , and this one is quite special because you're listening to the Before we Hit Record Monday segment and I got here , dallas Travers , and basically , if you're a coach who serves everyday people and you need to you need to know her , especially like her ripple effect system that teaches the exact steps for attracting paying
clients , building your list daily and then scaling your business with a course , so you never have to ask again what should I do today ?
She's the host of a top rated podcast called Coaches on a Mission and basically , if you're a values driven coach or you want to have some values , you should listen , because she talks about having freedom and confidence and the impact that comes with being a prosperous coach and having a prosperous coaching business .
And she's also the founder of the Hive , which is a one-stop mentorship program for coaches who want to turn this coaching thing into a life they love . And if you're watching the YouTube channel right now , you can see dallas so patiently smiling as I muddle my way through her intro .
I'm actually sitting here looking at myself and I look like a floating head . My sweater is the exact same color as the wall behind me , so it's just a bit of chameleon action going on like I'm happy to have you here because this is one of the first .
This is the first official . Before we hit record and you kind of just joined the studio and we started to have small talk , which is always so good and we never hit record . So we hit record and now we get to , now we get to connect .
So small talk .
Yeah , right , I guess I'm pretty random , and so we're going to start out with something a little more random , which is how did you get to have such good copy ?
We'll get back to getting to know you in a moment , but I'm looking at your website and I know like in the next episode , that's where we're going to do the more typical expert guest episode and , yeah , talk about the things that you're a specialist in .
I really am curious to ask you , then , about what unscalable marketing is and how it gets such high ROI for your business . But first , randomly , your when I went to it and I read it you have no idea what I'm going to say , but I went and it said say bye-bye Coors Graveyard , say hello the Hive , and I'm like I like this lady .
Did you write your copy on yourself ? I wish I could no .
Actually , I don't wish I could say I did . So . Let's give a huge shout out to Christina Torres . Her website is runandtellthatco . I'm a great copywriter I really am but I feel like it's really hard to write your own copy .
I don't know if you have that experience , but , christina , we did an overhaul I don't know like nine months ago to the site and that is all her .
Cool .
I like it yeah .
So as I get to know you , as you get to know me too , I find it kind of interesting that . Did you DM me or did I DM you on Instagram ?
You made the first move .
I did .
Yeah , that was all you .
Hopefully it wasn't like too creepy or salesy or whatever . No , not was all you . Hopefully it wasn't like too creepy or salesy or whatever , no , not at all .
I feel like it was probably through Brenna McGowan that we started to become aware of each other . Does that feel true to you too ?
Yeah .
Yeah , yeah , brenna's fantastic .
So some person who you never met and you . Let me ask you a bunch of questions about your funnel , because I wanted to do an episode about it , that's right .
Yeah right , you know it's interesting because so we're recording this in February of 2024 . This year I really made two promises to myself . One was every day . I'm just going to ask the question . I wonder how good I could feel today . So I'm doing a lot of random stuff for my health and energy . I'm happy to share .
But the other one is like what can I say yes to ? So you showing up in my DM saying , hey , I want to analyze your funnel , I'm just really saying yes this year to as many things that feel aligned without worrying too much first .
So it was great timing all right , I just googled it . I'm thinking that movie where jim carrey like doesn't he just say yes to everything and the whole movie is just everything that unfolds . Or is that another actor ?
it could be . I'm not too . I'm not . I'm not too much of a jim car fan . I'm not anti-Jim Carrey , but I haven't seen many of his movies .
That's okay . I mean , if you were anti-Jim Carrey , this is where you could make your stand .
Yeah right , this is the place it's interesting , though , like we have these episodes and we talk and you know , back in my day people used to like sit down for coffee and get to know you and then , after they know you and felt comfortable with you , then they're thinking of making a decision to like do business with you or get to know you further .
You know , and I guess this Monday was just this Monday segment was just birthed out of a desire for me to get to know the other folks who I like rub shoulders with on Instagram or in mixer minds Cause like I'm just down here in Mexico , lonely , like doing my online business thing behind three monitors , and like I need to get out a little bit .
So here we are .
Yeah , no , I can relate to that . So , I live in Portland , oregon , and my office is in the attic . It's cute , right , it's like a very nice attic , but I'm still like up in the attic every day and I don't know if you feel this way .
But my work , I get so much engagement with the members of my community , with colleagues , that I can almost fool myself into thinking I am making connection , into thinking I am making connection , but it's a different kind of connection than sitting across the table having coffee or just chatting without an agenda for sure .
Yeah , chatting without an agenda . That might be like the subheader for Monday's segment , for like today's episode . Maybe I have to change it . I thought I was going to stick with before we hit record , but it might be chatting without an agenda too .
I don't know , know , I think before we hit record is yeah , I would listen to that . I want to know , like , what are people saying before ? It's like the hot mic sessions , almost right . What are people saying when they don't , when they're not showing up to deliver ? Yeah , yeah right .
Well , I mean , you are delivering
¶ Podcast Host and Experimental Theater
. I feel like you have quite a bit of experience being on a podcast , obviously because you're the host of your own podcast . What is that ? Is it in your background ? It does look cool . Is that the ladder to get down from your attic , or is it just ?
Oh my God , no , it's a little yeah .
It's just like a little piece of art there , right yeah , zoom back in the just kind of into the pandemic days where you would like spin your computer around and show like what everything looks like just off camera . It looks immaculate off camera too .
So can I ask you a question ? I have two questions .
Yeah , no , we're getting to know each other . Cool , let's do it . You can ask me a question if you want .
So you mentioned I'm not going to get get the word right , but you called yourself either quirky or weird or random you called yourself random , so I want to know , like , what is something that makes you random in convert ?
so my wife is always saying that , even after 14 years , like she still doesn't know what's going to come out of my mouth oh my god , I'm pretty reserved when it comes to , you know , presenting myself in the online business space on social media , but like in real life , I'm pretty , I'm very random , so that that makes me random .
Like it's it's still like 14 years later . 14 years later we've been married 14 years , almost 15 , and frequently maybe at least like two , three times a week , like the stuff I say she'll like spit food out of her mouth or spray , like whatever she's drinking . Like it's just random and funny .
So that's what makes me random I got it I got it yeah , I have a .
My husband is similar . He has the weirdest sense of humor . Husband is similar . He has the weirdest sense of humor I've ever ever seen and I get it , so I love it . But most I would say maybe 80% of people do not get his humor , so then he's just a weird guy sounds like maybe we have something in common . I'd have to see his humor .
Yeah , so how long you guys been married ? 13 ?
you said no we've been together since 2003 . So what is that ? We're coming on 21 years together , married for 17 .
Okay . Those are some successful stats .
Yeah , right , we have a nine-year-old daughter . Oh , yay , yeah , so we're just , yeah , nine-year-old daughter , two dogs . But yeah , you know , and the thing for me , when I think about my husband , I like him more than I love him Like . I love him like crazy . But you got to really like your partner , right ? Like ?
Spending time with them and he's just my buddy , Like he's a lot of things , but we really authentically enjoy time together .
Yay , well , that's good . Like I think every relationship is different , but like the ones where you just like spending time with your spouse , that just it's a blessing . I really do feel like that .
Yeah , yeah , agreed , but he's at home too , yeah , or does he go off to business or off to work no , my husband's a stay-at-home dad , so yeah , yeah so he's home .
He also , when we met , he was an actor Really In Los Angeles , yep , and so my husband is half Korean and he was just like this is getting more and more intriguing . I know right Way before his time . So as an actor , he would often be told like what are you ? Literally people would say that to his face what are you ?
So there's a whole conversation there and then they would say , like I don't know .
I don't know where to put you . I can't cast you because they couldn't . This mixed ethnicity . Anyhow , he sounds like he's around my age . Maybe was born somewhere in the eighties or late seventies .
No , no , I was born in 77 . He was born in 74 . So he's 53 . Is that right Anyhow ? But long story short , we moved to Portland and he's been acting . He's teaching acting .
He's been in a number of way more projects up here than in Los Angeles , and so that has been so incredible to see him like singing his song right and really living his purpose in an unexpected way , and it just really inspires me so much . It's really cool .
That is really cool . I'm picturing like him teaching a really cool memorable class at a university . Maybe I'm pulling scenes from like Dead Poets Society .
Yeah , so it's experimental theater , so he kind of rolls around on the floor really , because I don't know what experimental theater actually is yeah . So we went and saw a production that he was in my daughter she's eight at the time , and the whole time and we went with a friend and at the end our , our friend , an adult . She said I did not get that .
I'm like , yeah , me neither . It's just wacky experimental theater . So yeah , but yeah , so that's my husband . Now everyone knows way more about my husband than I think this is the most I've ever talked about him in like a business arena ever . Yeah .
And hopefully he'll never hear this .
I don't know if he wants to be talking about him .
But well , hopefully the love of your life will be okay with you talking about , but everybody has . You haven't shared anything like scandalous .
I mean , basically he told me with what he does , like he was tiktok famous before there was tiktok if there was back then , and that's there you go , that's funny yeah so yeah , so born and raised in Portland or the area .
No , I'm Canadian .
Okay , there's the accent . I didn't want to jump to that , but okay , all right .
Immigrated as a kid to the US , and then I spent 20 years in Los Angeles . My first business was actually I was a like a marketing coach for actors , which is how I met my husband . He was a client , if you really want to get scandalous , so there's a whole story there , but yeah . And then we've been up in Portland for six years now .
We moved up here just to kind of have more , more nature in our lives and more cold and more rain . Yeah , it's been a good move for us . I think I it's been the hardest for me to adjust , but my daughter and my husband are both really thriving up here , so I'm just cold all the time . So I want to live .
I want to live where you live so I was talking to .
so we met in a mixer mind , like the listeners listening and like how do you guys know each other Other than me sliding into your DMs ? Then we found out that we actually were in the same mixer mind , which is this awesome concept about people who just want to collab .
And here we are , like exchanging ideas , kind of like a mastermind , but also collaborating on purpose , which I feel like is amazing , Don't you ?
Oh , totally .
Yeah .
And to have an environment where the culture and the shared agreement is . We are all here to collaborate and to leverage our relationships and connections with each other to move our missions forward .
I think a lot of times in the online space we can just make that way more complicated than it needs to be , because it's like , well , I got to get to know them first and let me have a coffee chat and then , like , we insert all these extra steps when really what we both know we want to do is collaborate .
So Linda's so smart for putting that together she really is genius .
Like I looked at her business and I was like wow , and then I started tallying up the numbers because it's not like an expensive thing to join . But there's like 100 people in there and I was like this is a good revenue stream for just helping people . I almost said hook up , meet up , all right . So okay , so where exactly in oregon ? You ?
I'm in Portland .
Okay , so I got it right , yeah , cool .
Yeah , and I do feel qualified to stay and talk about the weather , because I did spend the first 27 years of my life , grew up in Tacoma , so just up across the river into the other state , and then I went to college in Seattle and was there for like 10 years .
So Where'd you go , uw .
UW wait same same really , what year did you graduate ? I graduated in 98 okay , so you beat me by just a little bit .
I graduated in 04 oh , I bet you by quite a bit . We weren't there , we didn't overlap , but well , that's not quite a bit .
Maybe back a , I think .
I'm trying to be old today . That's the second reference I've made .
I'm not going to let you , I'm not going to let you . Yeah , no , I finished high school in 99 , went straight to UW . So , hold on . You immigrated , you said , to the States as a kid .
Yep , yep and grew up in Ferndale , washington . If you are from Tacoma , maybe you've heard of Ferndale .
I don't think so or .
Bellingham , have you heard ?
of .
Bellingham , yeah sure .
Bellingham , marysville , warm Lake , no something Anyway . Ferndale .
Yeah , yeah , ferndale , oh , all right .
Cool . And what age did you immigrate at ? Because , 10 .
Oh , I was young , I was a 10 year old .
How do you still have an accent if you immigrated at 10 ?
Do I have an accent ?
A slight one . My wife is from Michigan and so I ask people if they have like when I hear the accent , and usually somebody will say , oh no , I'm not from Michigan , I'm from Canada . You know , just up North Toronto nearby .
Yeah , it's similar .
I don't know Canadians are really nice , so maybe I'm nice and this is how nice people talk . I have no idea we're going to go with that one . I like , I like , I like that one . Um , yeah , no , something intriguing .
That is not related at all to online business , but when I was in university , one of the things I did is worked with this organization called Bayouz . Have you heard of them ?
No , it's like friendship , international friendship through university students that trust I'm butchering what it stands for , but basically it was an on-campus club where international students could basically go and gather and congregate right and make friends on purpose , like with a bunch of folks who were on campus and not international students but regular students and just
wanted to go meet people from different countries . And I guess their whole existence , the whole premise was you know , you go and you study abroad somewhere , you're new , like , but why did you go there ?
Usually to like , immerse yourself in the culture or for language reasons , or like you're at a university and want to test into it eventually , like you're doing undergrad , but you want to do overgrad , upper grad , there , there , and so the reason I brought this up was because there were Canadians in , I guess , the cohort of international students that came in that
year and that was the first time that , like I had studied in France before and come back , and so that's why I was there , because I wanted to meet people from all over the world but , I remember sitting down at like tables and , like you know , over games and just having doing the college student meet new friends thing , and I remember people telling me who
were from Canada that yeah , although yes , the language is the same , like they're like , actually the culture is really different
¶ Family Dynamics and Belonging
. And because you know , lots of themes about connecting and relating and kind of plugging in came up and I was intrigued . That was like the first time that I had deep conversations with folks who , let's say , could have been from , like the UK or Australia or , in this specific case , canada .
So do you remember any of this kind of cross-cultural assimilation going on ? That was difficult , that was intriguing , that was a bit mysterious when you immigrated at 10? .
That's such a good question . I think as a 10-year-old I was pretty adaptable .
Okay , yeah .
I can remember my dad being so stressed out about his accent , really wanting to lose his accent quickly , so that was a thing . We would practice not saying a at the end of every sentence . He was really and I want I should ask him why that was but he was very concerned about sounding Canadian .
But I think , as I'm hearing myself say this , I think for him and this is a core value for me belonging really matters and that is a part of Canadian culture . I think belonging is a higher priority , is a high priority in Canadian culture . So maybe he yeah , we would just really practice talking American .
And there are certain words that are just slightly different , like a garbage disposal . We called it a garburator .
For real Okay .
Yeah , a colored liquid paper , so whiteout was called liquid paper .
Okay , all right .
And colored pencils were called pencil crayons . So every once in a while I would say a word and people would be like what ?
are you ?
talking about ? Yeah , but I think in general in our family he was so concerned with belonging . But all the kids , I think you just kind of slide into school .
I don't know . I feel like at that age we really just want to belong too , because that's basically pre-teen . What is 10 ? I used to be a teacher .
Fourth grade . Fourth grade .
Yeah , yeah , yeah . I feel like many of the kids in my fourth grade class back in China were pretty self-conscious , if not evolving into being very self-conscious of themselves and how they related with everyone else .
Yeah , well , I think developmentally , nine and 10 years old kids really go through this evolution . Where I've been doing a lot of research , they experience this developmentally where they feel separate from in a time where what they need is to feel togetherness . So a lot of parents think so behavioral issues will kind of come up .
But it's just these kids developing and making their way in the world . But a lot of parents think there's a big problem to solve here because it can be different . I was saying to my husband I'm like , oh , our kid , she just got like the latest , greatest Mac and we are operating on MS-DOS .
We need to upgrade our operating system big time because she is yeah's . I don't know how that came up , but we're just . This is what happens before you hit record right .
Yeah , this is what happens . Like it's all cool details . Does it get easier ? I have a seven-year-old daughter so that's my main question does it get easier ?
it gets harder and better . Okay , yeah .
Yeah .
And then I have friends with teenagers , right , but I don't know . I don't know For me . I have one job with my daughter and that is for her to know without a doubt that , no matter what , I trust her and she can therefore come to me with anything . If that's all we get out of this , I have succeeded as a parent .
That's really important to me and that requires work . You know we also don't do television in our house . We're a screen-free family .
I believe in that .
Yeah , and that's a lot of commitment too , so does it get easier ? I mean , it's just such a moving target , right , but it gets deeper maybe that's the word .
it gets , it gets deeper so I'm thinking about the dynamics in my family , like , where I fulfill a very typical role of I guess it used to be typical of like the husband going away to work , except for I disappear upstairs , right .
Yeah .
And my wife handles more of like the day to day , just living . I feel like I'm very privileged . You know I get to be up here and just deal with business and work stuff , but that kind of pales in comparison to my two kids .
I feel like they're literally trying to pull my wife's brains and like out in multiple directions all the time , you know , and yet she raises these two little people and I just have so much like respect for her . How are the dynamics in your family and like how are the dynamics in your family and like are they ? Are they completely flipped , kind of flipped ?
or are you doing ?
like both running the successful business and , at the same time , like I don't know , doing all the shuttling of your daughter to after school activities , if she has those , and like yeah yeah our family dynamic is definitely non-traditional .
Okay , thank God for Andrew , cause he , he does a lot of the all , of almost all of the shuttling , right . He's the , he's the school bus driver , which is he's out of town this week . So I'm the school bus driver and that is a huge responsibility . Yeah , but you know , I also do a lot .
It's not a 50 50 split , right , because I I'm just going to be so gendered and stereotypical in what I'd say next , so forgive me for that , but no I'm a I'm a mom , right , and there are certain things that moms just do better .
I I will agree .
Yeah , but we make it work we make it work for sure .
Cool , that's really cool .
¶ Rooting Into Values in Business
So this one is kind of more headed towards business and the next episode that we're going to record , or after this session , but you , the listener , get to hear this two days later or even a week later , like you , the listener , get to hear this two days later or even a week later , but you talk about values .
That's one thing I noticed when I read your bio , because I'm only just meeting you for real , for real , in real , virtual life . I'm here from Mexico , all the way up there to Oregon , but you mentioned values and I'm scrolling up in this document , which is literally a document .
I don't know if anybody who hasn't recorded a podcast knows how you do it , but you have a guest on the podcast and they submit a bio and what they want to talk about and their favorite flavor of jelly bean , which was not a question , but right on the spot what's your favorite flavor of jelly bean ?
Oh , I love gummy candies , jelly beans not so much , but like Swedish fish , Okay . Anytime , anytime , all the time .
Cool , that is . My wife's favorite candy is those red Swedish fish . So , I'm quite familiar with those . See , that's what I'm talking about , random , like I'm here and jelly beans pop into my mind and out of my mouth , it went but you talk about values .
And I'm very curious , like how do you feel like , since you're known as , like a value-driven business mentor , like where did that come from ?
wow , I don't know if I can answer that . I don't know that there was a point of origin . Okay , but here's what I can tell you . I think for a lot , especially the entrepreneurs I serve who are coaches , this work . A lot of coaches coach because of their own lived experience . So it's hard to differentiate me , the human , from my business .
And when I understand what matters most to me and live in that place , when I make any sort of decision in my life or in my work , the decision is obvious . It's not easy . Often it's not the easy route , but it's the obvious route .
And when I lean into my values , I am so confident and rooted in how I'm showing up as a mom , how I'm showing up as a coach , how I'm here with you today , so it just makes the path so clear and obvious and also deep and fulfilling .
So , especially in the online space , where there's there's no shortage of strategies , right , so many things that we could try or business models to , to copy it's loud .
Yeah .
So really rooting into your values is the thing that quiets the noise . And you know I've been in business for a long time 23 years and I so not online business .
Then you had another business , oh I had like a brick and mortar but I was still I was still coaching , right , yeah , and I think I have staying power because I lead with my values , your values , and it kind of doesn't matter what they are right , but they , they will not , they will always do right by you okay , staying power because you lead with your values
.
Is that like a people like to work with value-based entrepreneurs ? Is that like , when life gets tough , like your values guide you through ? Like how is that ? How has that been ?
for you ? Again , it's not . I don't want people to think it's funny . I'll tell you this story . Sure , yeah , the first time I ever did like a values assessment .
Have you ever done something like that , where it's a page with maybe 60 different things that might matter to you , ranging from green living right to integrity or just a a whole bunch of values , and you pick your top five . So I was at this seminar sitting next to someone and I was looking at her sheet .
So I'm picking my values and she's picking hers , and they were very different . I would put hers in the category of being noble , right , Like she had family and generosity and caring these soft , noble values . My values were things like ambition and autonomy . I judged myself right away .
I thought , oh , I am a I'm a selfish asshole because I care about ambition and money and autonomy , and she's a kind , loving person because she , because of the values she chose .
I just really felt that Right but then you know , as I'm having this conversation with myself , I realized if I don't first of all admit to myself and then embrace what's true for me , I can't live into any of these values on this list . So it's not about like people , like values-driven entrepreneurs .
It's not like having what your values are is way less important than understanding and accepting what they are . And when you can do that , you move through rough patches with grace and ease . When you mess up , you know how to course correct . So values are , they're just such a valuable valuable . They're a necessary compass .
This is where we're going to finish the episode . Okay , because that there's just points where you need to end , and that was a very good point .
¶ Exploring Values and Business Strategies
In the next one , I want to go deeper into the values that you have and how you coach other people to be led by their values in online business so that they can have what you said staying power , I think , and also I do want to know about the . I'm looking at my notes again , but you wrote how the unscalable activities often bring an incredibly high ROI .
You just got a combination of really intriguing ideas . So , with that , thank you for being and allowing yourself just to like , hang out and get to know and share things that you might not have ever shared before . On this , before we hit record segment .
Thanks for having me . This is really fun .
Absolutely . We're going to hop into the other studio All right , let's do it , but thanks for listening and thanks for having me .
This is really fun , absolutely we're gonna hop into the other studio and all right , let's do it , but thanks for listening and thanks for watching , and until you uh see me or hear me again , be blessed and goodbye .