Time for Fan Mail Friday, where we'll be answering your questions and dropping some knowledge and feedback to help you kick the weekend off right. Let's cut to it! In this episode: If you believe weird things, one of them might be in thinking it's a good idea to visit a psychic with your significant other for a preview of the future. You had a bad breakup. Months later, when your ex joins your co-ed softball team and those familiar feelings of affection reignite, is it better to let the other pe...
Aug 12, 2016•21 min
Dacher Keltner is a professor of psychology at University of California in Berkeley, one of the world's foremost scientists specializing in the study of power, and author of The Power Paradox: How We Gain and Lose Influence. The Cheat Sheet: You don't have to be Machiavellian to appreciate that Niccolo Machiavelli was the OG power scientist. The imbalance of power is the greatest threat to society (just after climate change). Powerlessness can literally be lethal. Learn how we can increase our p...
Aug 11, 2016•46 min
Sebastian Junger (@sebastianjunger) is a journalist, filmmaker, and bestselling author; he joins us to discuss his latest book Tribe: On Homecoming and Belonging and his experiences covering war for the past 20 years. The Cheat Sheet: Why do some people get addicted to war and recall times of crisis with fondness? Does an affluent society free of hardship and danger deprive its citizens of an intrinsic need to be useful? Are war journalists armed, and do they contribute to group defense in the f...
Aug 09, 2016•47 min
Welcome to the 13th episode of Minisode Monday! We keep finding so many useful tactics and tips that we want to share with you, but they don't fit into the format of a regular show -- hence, Minisode Monday. Presence: Bringing Your Boldest Self to Your Biggest Challenges author and recent guest Amy Cuddy joins us to talk about something a lot of us experience: Imposter Syndrome. The Cheat Sheet: Do you ever feel like you don't belong where you are? That you don't deserve what you have? That ever...
Aug 08, 2016•8 min
Time for Fan Mail Friday, where we'll be answering your questions and dropping some knowledge and feedback to help you kick the weekend off right. Let's cut to it! In this episode: What news sources do we trust to keep us informed about current events? If you're still in college, is a long distance relationship a worthwhile pursuit -- or will it just hold you back from achieving other goals? Is there such a thing as too much personal development? Can someone really become unknowingly deficient i...
Aug 05, 2016•21 min
Amy Cuddy (@amyjccuddy) is a social psychologist, TED Talk speaker, and author of Presence: Bringing Your Boldest Self to Your Biggest Challenges. The Cheat Sheet: What is presence, and why do the charismatic seem to have it in abundance while so many of us struggle to find it regularly in ourselves? Presence is a renewable resource -- not a permanent state. Confident body language begets confidence and presence. Arrogance isn't a proxy for confidence -- why inauthenticity undermines trust, how ...
Aug 04, 2016•53 min
Bob Burg (@BobBurg) is the co-author of The Go-Giver: A Little Story About a Powerful Business Idea, a parable with dynamic business principles and life lessons that we can all apply with great effect. The Cheat Sheet: Why the world isn't dog-eat-dog. The Five Laws of Stratospheric Success -- how they apply to your business and personal life. How we add value without giving away the bank and hurting our own business or interests. How we give without being obsessed with the results. As the old ad...
Aug 02, 2016•55 min
Welcome to the 12th episode of Minisode Monday! We keep finding so many useful tactics and tips that we want to share with you, but they don't fit into the format of a regular show -- hence, Minisode Monday. We take on roles when interacting with others. But are we in control of the roles we play, or do they come about by default or inaction? Let's find out here! The Cheat Sheet: When interacting with others, we all play roles. Sometimes these roles complement each other, and sometimes they clas...
Aug 01, 2016•3 min
Time for Fan Mail Friday, where we'll be answering your questions and dropping some knowledge and feedback to help you kick the weekend off right. Let's cut to it -- as an added bonus, Gabriel Mizrahi joins us! In this episode: What can you do to keep a good relationship with a family member who doesn't support your goals while not letting their negativity derail your ambition? How do you convince your boss that his convoluted approach to a project could be better streamlined without causing ins...
Jul 29, 2016•37 min
Chris Voss (@VossNegotiation) is a former FBI hostage negotiator and author of Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as If Your Life Depended on It. He joins the show to discuss how we can be more effective negotiators by using hostage negotiation techniques. The Cheat Sheet: The principles behind negotiation and emotional persuasion. Three types of negotiators you'll encounter -- The Analyst, The Assertive, and The Accommodator -- and how to size them up. How to influence how people size you ...
Jul 28, 2016•59 min
Carmen Simon (@areyoumemorable) is a cognitive scientist specializing in neuroscience research and how we can use memory to have a positive impact on other people's decisions. She is the author of Impossible to Ignore: Creating Memorable Content to Influence Decisions. The Cheat Sheet: How to stay on people's minds. How to influence other people's memory. Why being remembered in the future is more important than being remembered in the past. When forgetting is actually better than remembering. H...
Jul 26, 2016•49 min
Welcome to the 11th episode of Minisode Monday! We keep finding so many useful tactics and tips that we want to share with you, but they don't fit into the format of a regular show -- hence, Minisode Monday. Under New Management: How Leading Organizations Are Upending Business as Usual author and recent guest David Burkus joins us to talk about how to tell if your network is too dense, what this really means, and how you can remedy the situation. The Cheat Sheet: While you may be influenced most...
Jul 25, 2016•4 min
Time for Fan Mail Friday, where we'll be answering your questions and dropping some knowledge and feedback to help you kick the weekend off right. Let's cut to it! In this episode: Are you an introvert who leaves the party early because you need time away from people to recharge? Or are you just really ambitious and ready to move on to more invigorating projects than clubbing? It could be both... Five years into your marriage-tracked relationship and you've both agreed to save your virginity unt...
Jul 22, 2016•21 min
David Burkus (@davidburkus) makes it easier for good ideas to leave the ivory tower of academia and get adopted by the people in the corner office who need it. He is the author of Under New Management: How Leading Organizations Are Upending Business as Usual. The Cheat Sheet: Why are smaller companies with limited resources better poised than giant corporations to work with potentially game-changing experimental policies? You may be the average of the five people you spend the most time with, bu...
Jul 21, 2016•40 min
Michael Shermer (@michaelshermer) is the founder of Skeptic magazine and several books on the nature of belief. He's the Director of The Skeptics Society, a non-profit dedicated to the promotion of science, reason, and critical thinking. He joins us to discuss why people believe weird things. The Cheat Sheet: How do beliefs form in our brains and persist even when we know they're wrong? Why do skeptics (and restaurant owners) scowl at the mention of Uri Geller? Why are smart people even more sus...
Jul 19, 2016•1 hr 3 min
Welcome to the 10th episode of Minisode Monday! We keep finding so many useful tactics and tips that we want to share with you, but they don't fit into the format of a regular show -- hence, Minisode Monday. Ego Is the Enemy author and recent guest Ryan Holiday joins us to talk about keeping our own egos in check when we're dealing with people who we -- for whatever reason -- can't stand. The Cheat Sheet: What does Always Love by Nada Surf have to teach us about the uneven relationship between t...
Jul 18, 2016•5 min
Time for Fan Mail Friday, where we'll be answering your questions and dropping some knowledge and feedback to help you kick the weekend off right. Let's cut to it! In this episode: If your significant other voices negative opinions about people who have plastic surgery, should you tell them you had a nose job six years ago? How do you learn to trust your instincts to become a better judge of character? How can someone highlight the unconscious conditioning at the root of their problems to ask th...
Jul 15, 2016•20 min
Jo Marchant (@JoMarchant) is a science journalist and author -- her new book is Cure: A Journey into the Science of Mind over Body. The Cheat Sheet: Understand the power of placebos. Learn how your immune system can be trained. Find out why stress kills and how to beat it. Realize the importance of social relationships and how to boost them. Does believing in God make you live longer? And so much more... Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com/podcast-episodes/jo-marchant-cure-episode-530/ HELP U...
Jul 14, 2016•56 min
Jonah Berger (@j1berger) has spent over 15 years studying how social influence works and how it drives products and ideas to catch on. He's a marketing professor and author; his new book is Invisible Influence: The Hidden Forces that Shape Behavior. The Cheat Sheet: We like to believe we're so special that our choices are driven by personal preferences and opinions; the fact of the matter: other people have an influence over almost everything we do. Rather than seeing influence as negative and m...
Jul 12, 2016•49 min
Welcome to the ninth episode of Minisode Monday! We keep finding so many useful tactics and tips that we want to share with you, but they don't fit into the format of a regular show -- hence, Minisode Monday. If You're so Smart, Why Aren't You Happy? author and recent guest Raj Raghunathan joins us to talk about when we should go with our gut instinct to make a decision and when we should turn it over to our mind. The Cheat Sheet: Many smart and successful people think you can arrive at a better...
Jul 11, 2016•10 min
Time for Fan Mail Friday, where we'll be answering your questions and dropping some knowledge and feedback to help you kick the weekend off right. Let's cut to it! In this episode: A lonely expat wonders if he's really cut out for living abroad, but worries about reverse culture shock if he returns home. Will the social problems he faces now just follow him wherever he decides to go? Are you conceited if accepting praise and accolades makes you feel awkward? A wife, mother, and psychology honors...
Jul 08, 2016•20 min
Michelle Lederman (@mtlederman) rejoins the show to discuss her recent book Nail the Interview, Land the Job: A Step-by-Step Guide for What to Do Before, During and After the Interview. The Cheat Sheet: Learn how to prepare for a job interview. Understand why you're better off presenting your best, authentic self during a job interview instead of trying to come off as the person you think the potential employer is looking for. Learn how to present your best self. Learn how to handle tricky quest...
Jul 07, 2016•55 min
Welcome to the eighth episode of Minisode Monday! We keep finding so many useful tactics and tips that we want to share with you, but they don't fit into the format of a regular show -- hence, Minisode Monday. Originals: How Non-Conformists Move the World author and recent guest Adam Grant joins us to talk about how we can argue against ourselves in order to make our arguments more convincing. The Cheat Sheet: We can lead with our weaknesses, not just our strengths. Adam tells us how serial entr...
Jul 04, 2016•5 min
Time for Fan Mail Friday, where we'll be answering your questions and dropping some knowledge and feedback to help you kick the weekend off right. Let's cut to it! In this episode: In the thick of it, high school seems like a waste of time when you've got bigger dreams for your future. But how bright is that future for a high school dropout? A listener offers additional sage advice to an answer we gave in Fan Mail Friday 67 regarding the balance of self-improvement and family drama. Why isn't Jo...
Jul 01, 2016•24 min
Angela Duckworth (@angeladuckw) is a professor of psychology at the University of Pennsylvania, founder of the non-profit Character Lab, and author of Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance. The Cheat Sheet: Why we shouldn't label others as talented. Why our potential is one thing -- and what we do with it is another. How to focus on high-level goals. When to give up -- and when to be stubborn. How to grow our grit and perseverance. And so much more... Show notes at http://theartofcharm.com...
Jun 30, 2016•58 min
Jason McCarthy (@GORUCK) teaches lessons focused on problem solving and rapport building related to "Charming the Snake," a way of life for Green Berets that works in war, business, and love. The Cheat Sheet: What does GORUCK mean? Where does the term "charming the snake" originate? Why is it more efficacious to charm the metaphorical snake rather than kill it? What are the stages of rapport building that are important for charming the snake? It's not really possible to overcommunicate. And so m...
Jun 28, 2016•44 min
Welcome to the seventh episode of Minisode Monday! If You're so Smart, Why Aren't You Happy? author and recent guest Raj Raghunathan joins us to talk about the benefits of kindness and giving. Here's what's up today: The Cheat Sheet: Kindness and giving are good for us. Pessimists can point to numerous reasons that humans seem to be programmed for selfishness and greed, but research suggests we're equally (if not more so) hard-wired for generosity. A study with non-socialized toddlers found a co...
Jun 27, 2016•9 min
Time for Fan Mail Friday, where we'll be answering your questions and dropping some knowledge and feedback to help you kick the weekend off right. Let's cut to it! In this episode: Is it fair to assess someone's character and integrity from a small incident that appears to be inconsequential? When does a benevolent Band of Brothers (as discussed in Episode 460 with Stephen Mansfield: Building a Band of Brothers) become a corrupt Old Boys Network? Where do we stand on "the power of positive think...
Jun 24, 2016•20 min
Amy Herman (@AmyHermanAOP) helps people from across the professional spectrum enhance their observation and perception skills by learning to look at works of art in her Art of Perception course. Her new book, Visual Intelligence: Sharpen Your Perception, Change Your Life is available now. The Cheat Sheet: Discover why Amy discourages use of the words "obviously," "clearly," "always," and "never." The Four As: assess, analyze, articulate, act. Learn the difference between short-term situational a...
Jun 23, 2016•58 min
General Michael Hayden (@GenMhayden) is a retired United States Air Force general, former Director of the NSA and CIA, and author of Playing to the Edge: American Intelligence in the Age of Terror. The Cheat Sheet: How does an intelligence agent view cognition, cognitive bias, and psychology differently from a policy maker? What is The Unpleasant Fact an intelligence agent brings to the briefing table? General Hayden gives us a rare glimpse of working for two very different presidents and convey...
Jun 21, 2016•1 hr 15 min
