Welcome to Fan Mail Friday #39! No jibber-jabber, just a short show where we answer Art of Charm listener mail and give out mini-lessons for the weekend!In this episode:When you don't feel like you have enough time or energy for dating, take a cue from Charlie Hoehn and just remember to save room in your life for fun, first and foremost.What do you do when you want to see your talented and passionate friend prosper, but they can't seem to break out of a perpetual cycle of despair and procrastina...
Dec 04, 2015•17 min
Jesse Itzler (@the100MileMan) is a powerhouse of boundless energy with a rigid discipline for time management who has never missed a day of work in 25 years. Still, he hired a Navy SEAL to help him up his routine's game and then wrote a book about it -- efficient!The Cheat Sheet:Loyalty is a rare quality in business today; Jesse tells a story about a now-famous former intern to demonstrate why it's still important.You can achieve more than you believe -- when you think you're done, you're only 4...
Dec 02, 2015•53 min
Adrienne Dorison (@adriennedorison) ditched over $45,000 in student debt in less than six months; follow her advice here and achieve your own financial freedom.The Cheat Sheet:Your beliefs about debt -- and your credit score -- don't (and shouldn't) define who you are.Having an attitude toward consumer debt as a normalized facet of modern living makes a lot of us suckers.Why is talking about sex less taboo than talking about money?Learn why creating an emotional attachment to money by using cash...
Nov 30, 2015•53 min
Welcome to Fan Mail Friday #38! No jibber-jabber, just a short show where we answer Art of Charm listener mail and give out mini-lessons for the weekend!In this episode:Is it possible to get out of the friend zone when you've been there since the game began?In science, we must remember that correlation does not imply causation.Here's why you shouldn't get testy when someone you're hitting on "tests" you.We usually talk about good habits to cultivate; here are some bad habits to avoid.Even good a...
Nov 27, 2015•27 min
Bobby Umar (@raehanbobby) believes we can change the world by recognizing the power of connection originating within and embracing our own leadership. He specializes in turning lost leaders into thought leaders.The Cheat Sheet:How does someone become a "top tweeter" like Bobby Umar?What is a "lost" leader?If you don't like what you're doing now, how do you figure out a direction you will like?Vulnerability can be an empowering and inspiring way to connect with people.Why should every single pers...
Nov 25, 2015•44 min
Jeff Goins (@Jeff Goins) transitioned into his own dream job as a full-time writer; now he helps others overcome common myths and misconceptions about the journey so they can find and answer their own callings.The Cheat Sheet:Everyone has a calling -- how do we use our own life lessons to identify and follow that calling?Discovering what you were meant to do will probably surprise you.Why does fear so often keep us from taking risks?We're born knowing how to dance, but we learn shame.Learn how t...
Nov 23, 2015•50 min
Welcome to Fan Mail Friday #37! No jibber-jabber, just a short show where we answer Art of Charm listener mail and give out mini-lessons for the weekend!In this episode:How does a fixer successfully date a complainer?What do you do to rekindle the spark in a 15-year marriage?In order to be at maximum productivity, when is the right time to wake up every day?How does someone with severe hearing loss communicate with confidence in the dating world?Does the phenomenon of "bed death" necessarily sig...
Nov 20, 2015•15 min
Dr. Chris Donaghue (@ChrisDonaghue) is one of only a few hundred people in the entire world certified as a sex therapist, so you'll want to hear what he has to say about the myths of sexual dysfunctions, accepting your desires (even if they don't align with societal expectations), and how to develop healthy sex and dating habits.The Cheat Sheet:Cultures that embrace sexuality have lower rates of teen pregnancy and STDs, and pornography-tolerant societies have lower rates of sex crimes.What const...
Nov 18, 2015•48 min
Anese Cavanaugh (@anesecavanaugh) knows what it takes to make "busy" beautiful. She helps people and companies unlock leadership potential, create meaningful impact, and enjoy themselves while doing it.The Cheat Sheet:Is the way you're "showing up" helping you create the impact you want?Contrary to popular belief, it's not merely the leaders who set a company's culture -- it's every single person in that company (from the CEO to the janitor).What is the IEP Method?Can you stand to have a presenc...
Nov 16, 2015•1 hr
Welcome to Fan Mail Friday #36! No jibber-jabber, just a short show where we answer Art of Charm listener mail and give out mini-lessons for the weekend!In this episode:We get listener feedback about how to deal with someone who laughs awkwardly at inappropriate times (from FMF 35).Are you blind to the attraction signals that potential romantic partners are trying to throw your way? We talk about how to pick up on them extensively in the AoC Toolbox, but here's some short-form advice in the mean...
Nov 13, 2015•14 min
Stephen Mansfield (@MansfieldWrites) strives to inspire men to form a Band of Brothers around themselves to help them perfect noble manhood in their lives.The Cheat Sheet:Learn why most men in contemporary society don't have a best friend.Why does Stephen believe that men need an older brother figure?What is a Free Fire Zone?Discover why assembling a Band of Brothers keeps a man on course to become great.Learn how to build this Band of Brothers.And so much more...Show notes at http://theartofcha...
Nov 11, 2015•45 min
Dr. Duana Welch (@duanawelch) is known for applying social science to real-life relationship issues and is the author of Love Factually: 10 Proven Steps from I Wish to I Do, the only book that applies science to your love life from before you meet until you commit.The Cheat Sheet:Learn the four Attachment Styles and what they say about you and your relationships: Secure, Anxious/Ambivalent, Avoidant/Dismissive, and Avoidant/Fearful. How can you change your attachment style if you want to, and wh...
Nov 09, 2015•58 min
Welcome to Fan Mail Friday #35! No jibber-jabber, just a short show where we answer Art of Charm listener mail and give out mini-lessons for the weekend!In this episode:What is the function of self-deprecation when striking up a new acquaintance, and how can you make people comfortable enough that they don't put themselves down while still valuing yourself enough not to do it, too?It's great that you're making positive strides toward changing your own life for the better, but how can you draw ou...
Nov 06, 2015•16 min
Bob Arno (@bambivalent) is a professional pickpocket who uses his powers for good. How? Find out in this episode of The Art of Charm!The Cheat Sheet:How does someone without a criminal background become a pickpocket?What are the psychological differences between a mugger and a pickpocket?Why do pickpockets tend to spot law enforcement before law enforcement spots pickpockets?What kind of shoes should you wear if you don't want to get marked as a target for pickpockets?How should you behave if yo...
Nov 04, 2015•1 hr 8 min
Hugh Culver (@HughCulver) teaches us how we can think better, plan smarter, and act now on what really matters by developing Hero Habits.The Cheat Sheet:The first secret of success is to learn failure is temporary.Which pain are you more willing to endure: the pain of discipline, or the pain of regret?Habits are not created in 21 days -- habits are created with rewards.Modifying good habits to suit certain situations is better than abandoning them. Example: Hugh has a workout that he does when h...
Nov 02, 2015•38 min
Welcome to Fan Mail Friday #34! No jibber-jabber, just a short show where we answer Art of Charm listener mail and give out mini-lessons for the weekend!In this episode:How do you deal with an overwhelming sense of envy that springs up whenever you encounter someone with more talent, better looks, or some other perk of an imagined "good life" that you feel you'll never experience? (Depending on your situation, therapy might be one way to address it.)A besieged Syrian under fire loves his country...
Oct 30, 2015•18 min
Lewis Howes (@LewisHowes) discusses his new book, The School of Greatness, and its framework for achieving real, sustainable, and repeatable success.The Cheat Sheet:What is a lifestyle entrepreneur?While interviewing successful people, Lewis Howes found eight common themes that they tend to share -- he calls them The Eight Principles of Greatness.Greatness looks different to everyone, but it's rare that anyone ever achieves it by accident.What is your dream? Are you striving to realize it, or ar...
Oct 28, 2015•55 min
Kimberly Seltzer (@SeltzerKimberly) gives us her five-step process for finding a therapist who is right for you.The Cheat Sheet:We all need help from time to time; there's absolutely no shame in seeking therapy -- just as there's no shame in consulting a tutor if you need help getting through trigonometry or organic chemistry class.Finding a therapist is like finding a dentist or any other professional who will have a meaningful impact on your life. You want to make sure you have a comfortable r...
Oct 27, 2015•23 min
Alex Kouts (@akouts) returns to The Art of Charm to talk about how to get hired at a startup (and if the startup life might -- or might not -- be a good fit for you).The Cheat Sheet:What is a startup?How does a startup find a sustainable product/market fit?What kind of person chooses the potentially unstable startup life over the safer options their parents keep nagging them to consider?The startup life is not a get rich quick scheme -- if you choose it, you'll probably work harder than you ever...
Oct 26, 2015•1 hr
Welcome to Fan Mail Friday #33! No jibber-jabber, just a short show where we answer Art of Charm listener mail and give out mini-lessons for the weekend!In this episode:Sometimes your partner will complain just to vent about something that's bothering them, and other times they want legitimate solutions to their problems. How do you tell one from the other?Emotional conditioning can be a powerful force. A listener with a PhD in psychology chimes in about some advice we gave in Fan Mail Friday #3...
Oct 23, 2015•22 min
Mark Manson (@iammarkmanson) is the author of Models: Attract Women Through Honesty, and he blogs to an audience of millions about psychology and personal development.The Cheat Sheet:Love is not enough; people prioritize love over other more important values, such as self-respect, trust, and boundaries.The relationship scorecard is toxic habit 1, where people feel as though they are always "owed" things by their partner.Boundaries basics: taking responsibility for your own thoughts/emotions and ...
Oct 21, 2015•1 hr 3 min
Zachary Stockill (@zfstockill) shows us how overcoming retroactive jealousy and possessiveness is as easy as learning to let go.The Cheat Sheet:All jealousy is related to insecurity in some way.How should we deal with the complex cultural politics of social media in 2015 as they relate to retroactive jealousy?What are your values?Jealousy and possessiveness often cause us to stay in unhealthy relationships for far too long.Is it fair to judge our partners based on their past? Or is the present a...
Oct 19, 2015•32 min
Welcome to Fan Mail Friday #32! No jibber-jabber, just a short show where we answer Art of Charm listener mail and give out mini-lessons for the weekend!In this episode:While it might not be the end of the tunnel, it's good that you're seeing the light -- just make sure it's the right light.How do you practice genuine gratitude without coming across as a kiss-ass -- especially in the workplace?25-year-old virgins aren't as uncommon as you may think. (But if you're among them and you don't want t...
Oct 16, 2015•19 min
Neil Strauss tells The Truth about past transgressions in his latest book, but it's more than just a head-cleaning confession -- it's an exploration of options most people probably haven't considered."Nobody's making you do anything. You have complete freedom of choice at all times. You just have to accept the consequences of that choice." -Neil StraussThe Cheat Sheet:We may look up to -- and even envy -- the rich and famous without realizing that fame just amplifies the flaws people already hav...
Oct 14, 2015•1 hr 4 min
If you can learn to tell a good story, you can captivate any audience -- whether as a public speaker, while interviewing for a job, or when you're on a date. "If there's one big piece of advice that I have -- albeit I have a lot of them -- it's: make sure that you are driven to tell the story that you're telling." -Amy Port The Cheat Sheet: Even the best, most personal story can be lost in the hands of a bad storyteller. (04:26) A good story is sculpted around Aristotle's three-act structure: ex...
Oct 12, 2015•54 min
Welcome to Fan Mail Friday #31! No jibber-jabber, just a short show where we answer Art of Charm listener mail and give out mini-lessons for the weekend!In this episode:How do you learn to trust yourself and your instincts (especially when it comes to money)?A doctor brings a medical perspective to some advice we gave a listener in a difficult relationship back in Fan Mail Friday #27.Do phrases like "staying at home" and "left at home" make it sound like the person raising the kids and maintaini...
Oct 09, 2015•20 min
Every interaction is a performance -- whether you're speaking up in a meeting, pitching a client, negotiating a raise, or walking into a job interview. Michael Port tells us how to steal the show."There's a benefit to being chameleon-like." -Michael PortThe Cheat Sheet:At its core, a good performance is genuine. (08:10)How do we separate our desire for validation from a desire to get results? (14:58)An authentic performance requires clear objectives (20:50)Avoid talking in absolutes (it invalida...
Oct 07, 2015•1 hr 2 min
By recognizing in our own behavior what keeps us from being resilient against life's obstacles, we're empowered to stop the cycle and focus on what it takes to become mentally stronger."Every time you take your eyes off of your own goals and you start resenting somebody else, it's another minute that you didn't spend working towards whatever it is you want to achieve." -Amy MorinThe Cheat Sheet:How do mental health and mental strength differ? (08:37)Being mentally strong is more about self-aware...
Oct 05, 2015•43 min
Welcome to Fan Mail Friday #30! No jibber-jabber, just a short show where we answer Art of Charm listener mail and give out mini-lessons for the weekend!In this episode:Contrary to popular belief, a lot of intelligence agents have trouble pulling off the smooth James Bond routine when trying to genuinely interact with people in real life.Sometimes, being embarrassed by and hating your "old self" just means you've made progress. Still, don't be so hard on your old self -- he or she made the choic...
Oct 02, 2015•14 min
Do you think of people who pursue their passions and make good money doing it as lucky? Chances are that Gary Vaynerchuk works a lot harder than you."Let me just clarify one thing -- I'm not lucky!" -Gary VaynerchukThe Cheat Sheet:How did a kid from the Cold War era communist Soviet Union manage to escape in the late '70s and become one of the hardest-working capitalists alive today? (06:03)For all of its flaws, the US is still a better place to seize opportunity than most of the rest of the wor...
Sep 30, 2015•1 hr 7 min
