Mental models and frameworks guide the way we make decisions in everyday life -- but what are they, where do we get them, and how can we make sure we're not sticking with outdated defaults? The Cheat Sheet: Mental models are our beliefs about ourselves, the world, and everything in it. Our mental models are made up of past experiences, misunderstandings, incomplete facts, and intuitive perceptions -- as a result, every mental model has shortcomings. Our mental models influence our actions, and o...
Mar 17, 2018•1 hr 4 min
In order to welcome high value people into our lives, we have to make sure we're leading with value ourselves. Here's what we can do to make it happen. The Cheat Sheet: Even the highest value people have bad days where they exhibit low value behaviors. How do we know when this is an exception and not a rule? How we can use the 80/20 principle to make sure we're not judging ourselves or others too harshly. Why honesty makes a great gauge for sorting out high value from low value people. How we ca...
Mar 07, 2018•1 hr 8 min
Your heroes and role models are probably what most would consider high value people. Listen to this episode of The Art of Charm to learn how to soar to their inspirational ranks rather than sinking to the selfish temptations of low value living. The Cheat Sheet: Discover why high value people who give get more from their relationships than low value people who only know how to take. Understand why showing a little genuine attention, appreciation, and acceptance to someone can have a giant impact...
Feb 28, 2018•1 hr 6 min
Do you unknowingly exhibit low value behaviors that keep you from connecting with others? Check out this episode of The Art of Charm to identify and renounce these low value behaviors for good. The Cheat Sheet: What does it mean to be a high value individual? How can we identify and eliminate our own low value behaviors? What high value behaviors can we nurture in the stead of low value behaviors? How can we spread our high value to others? What science supports the benefits -- to ourselves and ...
Feb 20, 2018•59 min
John Heffron (@JohnHeffron) is a comedian who emerged victorious from the second season of NBC's Last Comic Standing, has appeared in numerous comedy specials, and just released his latest album, The Laughs You Deserve from the '70s, '80s, '90s, and Today. The Cheat Sheet: Learn how John Heffron uses psychology to read a crowd in real time. Understand how to apply John's comedy-honed skills when you're speaking to a crowd or an individual. Discover different ways to anchor and connect various ty...
Feb 01, 2018•56 min
Eric Thomas (@ericthomasbtc) is a motivational speaker, YouTube personality, podcaster, pastor, director of Breathe University, and author of several books, including The Secret to Success: When You Want to Succeed as Bad as You Want to Breathe. "Don't allow the options in your community to be the only options you explore." -Eric Thomas The Cheat Sheet: How Eric Thomas went from homeless to PhD to become one of the world's top motivational speakers. How and why to get out of our psychological bu...
Jan 30, 2018•1 hr 3 min
Allan Pease (@AllanPease) is an Australian body language expert and co-author of 18 bestselling books on communication who once taught Vladimir Putin how to read western body language. The Cheat Sheet: Find out how Allan Pease began building his expertise in body language from the tender age of five. While the science might still be in deliberation, what does business say about power poses? How did Allan wind up being the guy who Vladimir Putin called to teach him western body language? Learn to...
Jan 25, 2018•1 hr
Leo Babauta (@zen_habits) of Zen Habits shares how he's modified his own behavior to conquer bad habits and create good ones. The Cheat Sheet: Find out how an overweight smoker resigned to living in Guam broke a laundry list of bad habits to move to California, work his dream job, and run ultramarathons. Learn how to make daily forays into discomfort that have you welcoming adversity like an old friend instead of something to be avoided. Why self-evaluation that makes you feel good is a habit th...
Jan 23, 2018•1 hr 19 min
Time for Fan Mail Friday, where we'll be answering your questions and dropping some knowledge and feedback to help you kick the weekend off right. Let's cut to it! In this episode: How do you build a closer, stronger relationship with a parent who's always seemed distant? How do you distance yourself from a terrible stepparent? Are all your friends really self-absorbed? What is the value of networking for teachers? How does a stressed-out high school student who aspires to be a neurosurgeon deal...
Jan 19, 2018•55 min
Lewis Howes (@LewisHowes) rejoins us to discuss his latest book, The Mask of Masculinity: How Men Can Embrace Vulnerability, Create Strong Relationships, and Live Their Fullest Lives. "We aren't able to fully heal until we start sharing the things we're most ashamed of, the things we're most afraid of, and the things we're most insecure about." -Lewis Howes The Cheat Sheet: What masks do we wear when we're not being our genuine selves, and what compels us to put them on in the first place? How d...
Jan 18, 2018•53 min
Paul Gilmartin (@mentalpod) is the host and producer of The Mental Illness Happy Hour Podcast, known for his brutal honesty, authenticity, and transparency. The Cheat Sheet: How addiction works as a frame of mind and what a support group offers an addict on the road to recovery. Why shaming ourselves into becoming better people is a terrible strategy for self improvement. Why someone living a seemingly successful life envied by others might have suicidal thoughts multiple times a day. The ripple...
Jan 16, 2018•57 min
Time for Fan Mail Friday, where we'll be answering your questions and dropping some knowledge and feedback to help you kick the weekend off right. Let's cut to it! In this episode: How feasible is online dating for someone in the public eye? How do you stay engaged in conversation without seeming like you are working really hard for it? What do you do when you're skilled at helping people overcome their social anxiety but not so skilled at helping yourself? What's someone with a high IQ got to d...
Jan 12, 2018•40 min
Akshay Nanavati (@fearvanalife) was on the brink of suicide, but overcame drug addiction, alcoholism, and PTSD from fighting in Iraq with the US Marines. He is the author of Fearvana: The Revolutionary Science of How to Turn Fear Into Health, Wealth, and Happiness. The Cheat Sheet: Why might a Marine veteran be thankful for falling in with the wrong crowd and dabbling with drugs and alcohol at an early age? What is a worthy struggle, and how can enduring hardship with others be a bonding experie...
Jan 11, 2018•1 hr 5 min
David DeSteno (@daviddesteno) is a professor of psychology at Northeastern University and author of Emotional Success: The Power of Gratitude, Compassion, and Pride. The Cheat Sheet: Why is delaying gratification so hard and why is it important? Why willpower runs counter to our evolutionary programming and often fails. Why developing prosocial emotions -- gratitude, compassion, and pride -- is a superior strategy for self control. Why reason is biased and allows us to rationalize giving into te...
Jan 09, 2018•54 min
Time for Fan Mail Friday, where we'll be answering your questions and dropping some knowledge and feedback to help you kick the weekend off right. Let's cut to it! In this episode: What's your first step when you suspect child abuse is going on in your cousin's family? Where's the line drawn between real science and pseudoscience? Should you expect sobriety to interfere with your dating options? How do you get closer to relatives you've known your whole life but don't really know much about? Is ...
Jan 05, 2018•46 min
Celeste Headlee (@CelesteHeadlee) is the host of On Second Thought at Georgia Public Broadcasting in Atlanta and has been a host and correspondent for NPR and PRI since 2006. She is the author of We Need to Talk: How to Have Conversations That Matter. "The attempt to change somebody's mind is the death of good conversation." -Celeste Headlee The Cheat Sheet: Learn why listening in the right way is the key to improving what you have to say. Explore ways to correct the bad advice you've picked up ...
Jan 04, 2018•1 hr 5 min
Time for Fan Mail Friday, where we'll be answering your questions and dropping some knowledge and feedback to help you kick the weekend off right. In this episode: What's wrong with eating pumpkin pie for breakfast? Are long distance, lack of communication, recurring patterns of behavior, and disempowering beliefs good enough reasons to break up with someone and stay broken up with someone? Sometimes living in the city and commuting to a job in the suburbs isn't the worst idea. How can you overc...
Dec 29, 2017•1 hr 4 min
Steve Sims (@SteveDSims1) is the CEO and founder of Bluefish, an exclusive, members-only luxury concierge service for VIP and executive clients, and the author of Bluefishing: The Art of Making Things Happen. The Cheat Sheet: What's the chug test and how can it help us trust our stomachs more than our heads when it comes to character assessment? Find out why knowing how to network well and build relationships will get you further than an unlimited bank account every time. Understand how we can g...
Dec 28, 2017•56 min
Christopher Lochhead (@lochhead) is a former entrepreneur, retired Silicon Valley three-time public company CMO, category designer, host of the Legends & Losers Podcast, and co-author of Play Bigger: How Pirates, Dreamers, and Innovators Create and Dominate Markets. "People remember different in a way they don't remember better." -Christopher Lochhead The Cheat Sheet: Entrepreneurship is at an all-time low. Why? Every legendary product, service, or brand exists because an innovator got produ...
Dec 26, 2017•53 min
Time for Fan Mail Friday, where we'll be answering your questions and dropping some knowledge and feedback to help you kick the weekend off right. In this episode: What can you do to ensure the TSA won't steal from your luggage? How do you make sure a dating app conversation or first date doesn't just become a string of one-sided interview questions? How do you keep track of -- and prune -- an extensive network without becoming exhausted? What can you do to repair friendships that fell by the wa...
Dec 22, 2017•50 min
Ulrich Boser (@ulrichboser) is a senior fellow at the Center for American Progress and the author of Learn Better: Mastering the Skills for Success in Life, Business, and School, or, How to Become an Expert in Just about Anything. The Cheat Sheet: What's the number one misconception about learning? What's the thing that most people forget about learning? Learn the one trick that makes everyone learn better. Understand how learning ties in with our emotions. What is the single most underrated lea...
Dec 21, 2017•53 min
Michele Rigby Assad (@michelerigassad) is an international security consultant, trainer, and author of the book Breaking Cover: My Secret Life in the CIA and What it Taught Me About What's Worth Fighting For. The Cheat Sheet: Is working undercover for the CIA as exciting as it looks in the movies? How does an isolated Florida girl grow up to be a CIA operative in the Arab world? What goes into gathering intelligence from terrorist sources, and what motivates them to cooperate with the CIA? How d...
Dec 19, 2017•1 hr 14 min
Time for Fan Mail Friday, where we'll be answering your questions and dropping some knowledge and feedback to help you kick the weekend off right. We're trying to keep this a little lighter than last week's episode because we don't have Linda Carroll on deck to help us with the heavy lifting. But you should give it a listen here if you missed out because she was amazing, as always. But this is now, and here we are! In this episode: Moving to a new town to make a fresh start? We've all been there...
Dec 15, 2017•42 min
Meg Jay (@drmegjay) is a clinical psychologist specializing in adult development and the author of Supernormal: The Untold Story of Adversity and Resilience. The Cheat Sheet: 75 percent of us have grown up dealing with some form of adversity. Being supernormal is having a better-than-average outcome after coping with this adversity. Resilience is resistance to adversity -- not immunity. What are the health risks of being too resilient? Some people get so good at dealing with adversity that they ...
Dec 14, 2017•50 min
Kevin Harrington (@HarringtonKevin) is the innovator who invented infomercials, one of the original "sharks" on ABC's Shark Tank, and the co-author of Put A Shark In Your Tank. "If a guy named 'Chubby' walks into your office with a fitness product, you should definitely walk and run the other way!" -Kevin Harrington The Cheat Sheet: What starter businesses could work for an aspiring entrepreneur today? What's the difference between providing a service and providing a product? What sport seems co...
Dec 12, 2017•59 min
Time for Fan Mail Friday, where we'll be answering your questions and dropping some knowledge and feedback to help you kick the weekend off right. As an added bonus, therapist and Love Cycles author Linda Carroll joins us -- and if you haven't caught her on the show before, make sure to check out episodes 480, 512, 580, and 640! Let's cut to it! In this episode: When we feel obligated to help someone -- especially a long-lost family member in dire straits -- the trick might begin in understandin...
Dec 08, 2017•57 min
Susan David (@susandavid_phd) is a psychologist on faculty at Harvard Medical School, co-founder and co-director of the Institute of Coaching at McLean Hospital, CEO of Evidence Based Psychology, and author of Emotional Agility: Get Unstuck, Embrace Change, and Thrive in Work and Life. "Discomfort is the price of admission to a meaningful life." -Susan David The Cheat Sheet: What is emotional agility? What's wrong with trying to force ourselves to be happy all the time? Is our society misguided ...
Dec 07, 2017•1 hr
Justin Ramsdell is a clinical psychologist and an assistant professor of forensic psychology at George Mason University. His current work focuses on law enforcement interactions with individuals with severe mental illnesses, crisis de-escalation, and the psychology of victim experiences. "If somebody tells you that something works for everything, then it probably works for nothing." -Dr. Justin Ramsdell The Cheat Sheet: Understand what the Daubert Standard is, how it factors into scientific expe...
Dec 05, 2017•56 min
Time for Fan Mail Friday, where we'll be answering your questions and dropping some knowledge and feedback to help you kick the weekend off right. If you're new to The Art of Charm Podcast, this isn't a great place to start. Most of our content is more in-depth and longer format. Listen to recent guests A.J. Jacobs and Kevin Rose for a better idea of our regular programming. Also make sure to check out our Best Of picks or the Fundamentals Toolbox episodes. There, we've got the fundamentals of b...
Dec 01, 2017•47 min
Being stuck isn't a barrier to greatness; it's part of greatness. Here are nine things you can do right now to get un-stuck and on your way to greatness. The Cheat Sheet: Losing momentum happens to everyone, no matter the task at hand. Consider it a temporary setback rather than a permanent condition. Understand what you can do to prevent being overwhelmed. Know how to ask for help and gain perspective by helping others. Don't underestimate the power of moving your body. Learn how to change your...
Nov 30, 2017•29 min
