20/01/2026

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Residential mortgage lending act. Conditions and restrictions may apply. You're listening to Tuesday's episode of The Archers from BBC Radio 4.

Brad? Yeah. Are you getting up? No. You okay? Yeah. I brought you a cup of tea? Thanks. So you're not going into uni then? I don't think so. The thing is What? You don't really seem ill to me. Well, I am. I think you're faking. Why do you say that? Well'cause it takes one to know one. And I was always trying to get out of school and you weren't'cause you were this brain box and I was well not. You're just as clever as me, you know. Yeah.

Yeah I do know that actually, I do know that now. Didn't used to, but anyway we're getting off the point here. So you didn't go in yesterday and you're not going in today and something's up. So what is it? Hi Fallon. Hi, Jazza. Who's Kenton about? Er, should be. I'm still having to get an answer about their floodlights. Oh, right. If we don't have them, it messes up all the timings, you see. Er, yeah, of course. Well, have you tried calling him?

Aye, went straight to voicemail. Well, he might still be in bed, Chazer. Really? Well, I mean it's only just gone eight. Well, I'm sure he'll call you later. Oh look who it is. Hey. Ah Harrison. How are you? Yeah, I'm I'm not bad, my mate, how are you? Ah oh good oh could can't you complain? Oh good stuff. What are you doing here? Well I I asked my boss if I could have a couple of days off and he said yeah. Just like that? Yep, yeah, pretty much.

You're only here a couple of days, are you? Yeah, yeah, that's right. That's a shame. Well, it's best I could do, mate. Nah, I know it's good. It's ri it's really good. I only meant you're going to miss all the fun on Sunday. Ah, Jazza. What about something on Sunday? Buns night, and you're harassing buns. It's true, I am. Oh, you said.

Firstly seeing you here. Hey, alright. Ah, Kenton. Did you manage to get the floodlights sorted? Floodlights? Oh, you're obsessed. I know, sorry, but I just think it'd be dead cool. Really make the event, you know, the atmosphere, everything. Uh well Good job I've got them then. Fantastic Brad. Yeah. Well you talk to me. Well I can't. That's the thing, I can't. What do you mean you can't? I mean it's not my stuff to tell you. What's not your stuff? Can you stop being so weird and mysterious?

Sorry, I I'm not trying to be weird and mysterious. Whatever it is, we can work it out, okay? Like I'm sure it's not as bad as you think. It never is. It definitely is. Well what are you gonna do then? Just stay in bed for the rest of your life. Okay, okay. If if I tell you you have to promise not to tell anyone. Yeah, okay. Yeah, I promise. I'm in love with Amber. Is that it? Wow. 'Cause I already knew that. How? What I guessed. You guessed?

Sorry. Does everyone just know? No, no, no, no, of course not. Is it like written across my face or something? I mean you do light up when you see her. Do not. Oh you do? And you talk about her all the time. I really don't think I do. And when you talk about her you look incredibly happy. Don't say that. But I'm not sure anyone else has noticed. That's not good. That's not good, Joseph. Sorry. Do you think George is in there? No, why would he? He's too wrapped up in himself. We did suspect us.

Did he? But he suspected us when there was nothing to suspect. And now there is? Yeah. No. Sort of not really. Okay, okay, so well how does she feel? Like how does Amber feel about you? Honestly I I think she feels the same. W has she said that? Pretty much. I know Yeah, I know. Have you like No, no, no, no, no. I mean we've kissed. That's all. We kissed on a night that George got bottled and we both feel terrible about it.

I mean I'm supposed to be George's best man. Well you didn't do it on purpose, did you? Well I didn't kiss her by accident. No, I mean didn't plan to fall in love with her, that's what I mean. Yeah. No, I didn't. So well what happens now then? Nothing. Nothing? She's staying with George. She's staying with him? Yeah. Why would she do that?

Can I help with anything? In the kitchen. Yeah, why not? Um you could do yourself a bacon sandwich? No. I mean I'm head of the kitchen, so yeah. Okay, great, yeah, stop it. I mean I'd make it for you, but I need to get the bread and um bacon's in the fridge. Mm-hmm. Well you could make one for Kenton too. Sure he won't say no. Yeah, yeah, all right, okay. What time do you leave this morning? Oh 5am. 5am? Yeah, that's why I didn't message you. I didn't want to work you.

Uh is this the right one, love? Uh yeah. Great idea falling in love. Oh there's a pan on the hub. Oh it's uh. You must be knackered. No, j j I'm fine actually, yeah, I'm I'm really fine. I'm sorry I can't take the day off. Of course you can't. I'm I'm not asking you to. No, I know, but it it would have been nice. Um thank you for your message, by the way. Yeah, it was um it was lovely. I meant it everything I said. Yeah, I know you did. Good.

So I'm frying this bacon. I'm not grilling it. Is that okay? Yeah. Old school. Oil's there. Uh-huh. Ah, this day is turning out so much better than I thought it would. I'm sorry I didn't caught you. It's okay. I just needed a bit of space. I get it, I do. I you I really hurt you and I'm really sorry. Well I'm sorry. I I'm sorry that my behaviour was so appalling that you actually believed, you know, I might be capable of

You know. Well, we're both really sorry about everything and that's good, isn't it? Yeah. I think so. I mean that night I did have to get myself away from him, from George, just to make sure I didn't punch him, frankly, but

I won't ever do something so violent as to lamp someone with your bottle. Oh, I know, I know. I I I don't know what I was thinking. And and I wouldn't leave anyone lying on the path, his head cut over. I mean I I just wouldn't do that. Please, can we just forget that I ever thought any of that? I mean I know we can. I just I can't bear thinking about it. Oh I think your oil's burn in. Oh oh sorry, sorry. I don't want to start off the smoke alarm, sorry. So um

You didn't report me then. Report ya. Yeah, for y you know deleting the footage. Of course I didn't report you. Well it's just that you said y y you said you should technically you should report me. That's true. That is We we could call it quits if you like. Oh, that'd be good. Yeah, that'd be great. So we're roping this area up for the keyber tossing.

Um I think we need everyone further back. Really? Well yeah,'cause I don't get sued when someone gets hit by a caber. Nobody's gonna get hit by a caber. No, they're not,'cause we're gonna have everyone a lot further back. This is gonna be great. I just hope it doesn't chuck it down. Joy's manically checking the weather forecast. No problem. I'd be very Scottish, you know. Yeah.

Rex is all fired up about it. Is he? Yeah. Reckons he's in with a chance of winning. Well it's good to hear somebody taking the competition so seriously because I've had a lot of Mickey taking and I don't think Embody realizes this is going to be a genuine physical challenge. I mean keeper tossing isn't it for the faint hearted, is it? Well, no, no, that's true.

I just couldn't believe it when she said it. Yeah, my stomach, you know, like w when you're on a roller coaster. Brad, yeah, I'm so sorry. What am I gonna do? And she's like she's having this baby. Well I think so, yeah. I think so. She seems pretty sure about it. Right. She's committed to George and that's that.

And what does George say? He must be like he must be like freaking out. Well he doesn't know. What? She hasn't told him yet. But that is mad. I mean she has literally just found out. But she told you. I know. Yeah, I know. She told you before she told him. Yeah. あ、あ、あ、あ、あ、あ、あ、あ、あ

No, what are you talking about? Just we just kissed, Chelsea, that's all. Okay, sorry, I just I didn't know if maybe you were lying about that bit'cause like you felt bad or something. No, no, it really was just a kiss. Sorry. It's all right. So does he still not know then? I don't know. I mean she might have told him by now. She probably has. I'm sure she has, but she hasn't messaged me and told me that she's told him.

But then why would she? Okay. Okay, look listen, you cannot be involved in this situation. I know. I know I can. I'm I'm stepping back. Mm-hmm. Stepping right back. We've agreed, me and Amber, we've agreed. But now Now I just w I don't wanna get out of bed. Brad. I just wanna hide, you know, sleep.

Just not see anyone. Yeah, well that's not gonna work, is it? Just for today? But you already had yesterday. So? Like you've got this whole brilliant life ahead of you, Brad. You've got your course, you've got You've got that brilliant brain. You've got all of us who who love you to bits and you're free. Amber and George have got a lot to deal with, you know, like earning money and and raising a kid. I wouldn't want that and I wouldn't want it for you either. Oh, I love her. I really love her.

I believe you. But it's not just like some crush or something. And and she feels the same. She feels the same as me. Yeah, yeah, I've got no doubt that she does. And I would be better for her than George. But would she be better for you? Then who? Well I don't know,'cause I haven't met them. But honestly, I I can't imagine feeling this way about anyone else. Of course you can't, right now.

Do you think I'm a terrible person? Yeah. What? No, I'm kidding. Of course you're not a terrible person. You're amazing. And George is lucky to have you as a cousin and a friend. Oh yeah. So lucky. Oh, I meant to be cutting Amber's hair tomorrow. Are you? Oh do you mind? Why would I mind? I dunno. Just seems almost sort of disloyal. Don't be stupid. I won't say anything, obviously.

What exactly did you end up doing on New Year's Eve? Ah stayed out late. Not lightweight like you. Who were you with? Mm my mates. Why? Dunno, I just realise I never asked you. Well, the George thing sort of took over. Yeah. Yeah it did. Why don't I make us some breakfast? I'm not really hungry.

No. No, you're not doing that. You're not staying in bed and being all depressed. Right, get in the shower, get dressed, and come downstairs and making us coffee and like a proper breakfast, scrambled eggs or something. You need protein and you go into uni. And you're gonna be alright. And one day you're gonna look back on all of this and you're gonna be absolutely fine. Yeah. Yeah? Do you promise? I promise. Every idea starts with a problem. Morby Parker's was simple. Glasses are too expensive.

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