01/05/2026

You're listening to Friday's episode of The Archers from BBC Radio 4.

Honestly, every day at something else, I'd known how involved being chair was going to be.

What are you looking for, David?

I woke up to an email from Ros. The Home and Garden Committee are falling out over the layout of the marquee.

If it's your phone, it's just sex.

Where?

Buy the bread pin.

Trade stand bookings are down. The person who normally supervises the car parking is meant to be having an operation.

You're looking straight at it!

Oh I'm beginning to wish I hadn't asked George and Amber to come up with ideas for marketing. Just getting the show on as usual is a daunting enough job. That's true. Right, I better get off. I'm going to see them now.

Okay.

Can I get a kiss?

Еще! Класс!

Oh god, sorry, I forgot.

That's okay.

Mae'n hynny'n hynny'n hynny'n hynny'n hynny'n hynny'n hynny'n hynny'n hynny'n hynny'n hynny

Still quite sore. Well I'll see you later.

Ruth. I'm sure Josh will get back to you soon. You know he doesn't have much access to the internet where he is.

Now you better go for your meeting. I hope it's not too much of a waste of time.

How about custard creams? Everybody likes them.

No, George, put them back. If we're going to convince David to let us run the Borchester Show's social media strategy, then we need to offer him refreshments that shout modern countryside. Maybe the village shop was a mistake. We should have gone to Underwoods Local instead.

You know, I'm actually starting to get butterflies.

Yeah.

Why? You were great when we rehearsed the pitch.

Yeah, but this could be like a massive game changer. My business ain't been going nowhere. And if it meant you could give up your job at Borchester Farm Supplies and start making content for other people as well as your own stuff.

Let's not get ahead of ourselves, hey?

No, but seriously. This could be the break we'd been waiting for. And after going for the scan yesterday, seeing George Jr. there on the screen.

Why would you stop? The baby could just as well be a sheep.

No na you saw the picture we got printed.

It could be anything. It's it's just a little grey blob.

Yeah, right.

Anyway, why do you care so much? We said we didn't want to know.

Only missing it don't matter to me what it is, boy or girl, I'm even more determined to do than proud. What are you doing? Not here, babe. Jim might see.

Oh biscuits with Borsetshire honey, that's perfect. Let's buy those.

Adam darling Have a moment. I was planning to give you a bell.

Is it important? I have a video conference with our agronomist in fifteen minutes. I thought I'd quickly post this parcel. Oh well. Sorry, sorry. It's just a really busy morning. Um maybe ring me later.

Brian told me about him reneging on his promise to leave you the farm.

Right. Well uh That's his prerogative, isn't it? As he went to great pains to make clear it's his land. He can do what he wants with it.

I'm so sorry. I told him he ought to be ashamed of himself. It's an absolutely disgraceful way for him to treat you.

Yeah, well, doesn't make much sense to me either. We'd had a long talk about the future of the farm, where he saw Mai and Rory's place on it. I I don't know what happened to change his mind.

Here, I'll hold the door.

No, no, I was just talking to Adam.

Oh.

Bye.

How are you?

We're fine, thank you.

Good. Excuse us for not stopping, but we need to get home.

Yeah, we've got an important business meeting. Uh great to see you though.

Have a good one! Strength.

I know. Um, listen, why don't you come over to the cottage in an hour or so? My meeting with Connor shouldn't take long. Why don't we talk then?

Here's your cortado, David.

Sorry, Cortard.

Made with coffee from a local artisan roastery.

You want a biscuit?

Oh thank you very much. I've got to say, I hadn't expected you to go to all this effort. I mean I feel a bit bad for you know, turning up in my tatty old jeans and a fleet.

Oh no, not at all, David. You're the blueprint.

Yeah, you're like proper reel.

Mm-hmm.

Which is kind of at the heart of our social media strategy. It's not about pretending the Borchester show is anything other than what it is. It's about getting Gen Z who wouldn't normally consider going to an agricultural show to see why it's flat.

Right. Um okay. Well um I think that sounds co

Okay. So shall I carry on then?

Please.

So, for the equestrian events, we thought about creating hype reels. Maybe go somewhere like the stables and edit together snippets of young riders getting excited about all the different events.

Or maybe a transformation video where a horse goes from being muddy in a field to groomed and ready for competition in like twenty seconds.

Yeah, I like the sound of both of those.

And we could do similar things for the children's art classes and the craft competition.

You said you liked the idea of Chris making a horseshoe. Well, we could make other ASMR videos of wood turning or hurdle making.

And of course we can also use whatever content we make to signpost important information, like the closing dates for the livestock classes.

Remember my videos of Bartleby Talking? We could maybe do that with one of your hairfruits. Some of them videos got like ten, fifteen thousand heads. Woo!

This all sounds amazing. Yeah?

So have we got the job?

No no no no it's fine. It's a fair question. Um there is one thing though. Do you remember me saying about using the show to promote farming more generally? What you're suggesting is great fun. Um I'm just not sure how it's Well, championing what we do to non rural people.

W w w w well with things like the h the hype reels, they're all about getting people excited.

Yep. For the show. But it's not necessarily about extolling the virtues of the countryside.

How about some amazing aerial footage? Beautiful, sweeping eight K vistas of Borsetshire farms, real scroll stopping stuff. No.

That could be good.

But George, isn't there a problem with your drone? You said it had developed a vibration.

It has.

So don't you need to buy a new one?

Yeah, but if David's gonna pay us, I don't suppose you could give us the money up front.

Oh, I'm sorry, I wish I could, but our treasurer has already told me that the show only pays once the work's been done. Although it's a shame I do love the idea. Oh

Well w well never mind. We can always come up with something else.

No, i it's fine. We can still do it. David wants the drone footage.

You sure? I mean I don't want to force you into spending money you haven't got.

Seriously, David, don't sweat it. We'll get a drone.

Ruth, I'm back. You won't believe it. The meeting went so much better than I expected. Hej då!

Yeah.

I'm here.

Uh admittedly I didn't understand half the jargon George and Amber were using, but hey, as long as they know what they're talking about.

I guess.

Although now they're doing the social media for I really do need to think up a slogan for the show. Bruce, you okay?

Yeah.

Oh.

Bless him, it's only six there. You hadn't even had breakfast.

Well what did he say?

He said if I do decide to get tested No quiere saber el resultado.

But that's impossible, isn't it? I mean, if you have got the Bracker gene variant, which I'm not saying you haven't

No, but if I do, one of the first things that'll happen is he'll be offered a test. I mean maybe we can stop it somehow.

Maybe, but if you need to have preventative treatment then Why doesn't he want to know? asked

He said there's no point. There's nothing you can do about it anyway.

That's not true. He can make sure he looks after himself. Get checked regularly.

I'm just telling you what job Sorry. And I can understand. He doesn't want to spend his life worrying he might get cancer. It doesn't help me make a decision though.

Well look you're seeing Azra next week, aren't you?

Chews.

Well, hopefully, talking it through with a doctor will make things clearer. Let's try not to worry about it until then.

I'm sorry, I've been a bit snappy. It's bad enough going through it yourself. But the thought of any of the kids

I know. Doesn't bear thinking about... Let's see what the doc says. And then we'll take it from there.

So, what shall we crack on with first? I could message Uncle Chris, see when he's free to do the video. Yeah.

Yeah, I guess.

Yeah. I reckon we can get it edited and uploaded pretty sharpish.

Why did you say that to David about buying a drone? Isn't the one you wanted like well over a thousand pounds? You said there was no way you could afford it.

No.

So how are you gonna pay for it? You're not thinking of using the baby money, are you? We have been saving that up for the nursery.

Of course I ain't.

Then what? Are you gonna borrow it from somewhere? Are you gonna ask your dad? Are you gonna ask Oliver?

Please.

Don't do anything Dorothy.

I ain't going to. Look, I think I know where to get the money, but I want to be certain first. Please don't worry though, babe. If I do get it, it won't be because I've done anything dodgy. I'll have earned it fair and square. Promise.

Oh I I'm not too early, am I?

Oh no, I finished the meeting ten minutes ago. Can I y get you a drink or anything? No.

No, no thank you. I really do just want to talk to you about Brian.

Seems I never talk about anyone else.

Yes, I know. And I'm not going to try to defend him. You know how much your mother hated it when the two of you were at loggerheads, though.

Why don't you sit down?

Brian knows what he did was wrong, but

He still did it. He still dangled the farm in front of me and then whipped it away again.

I know, but he didn't do it to hurt you.

I don't know why he did. To be perfectly honest, I've given up trying to work out what he has against me. Maybe it's because I'm not really his son.

Oh no, Adam, of course. Don't be ridiculous, darling. He got over that a long time ago.

Like I say, yeah. What I do know is Brian is never going to do right by me. Never has done.

Darling, honestly.

He was an idiot to believe he'd choose me as his success.

I realise Brian's been behaving oddly recently, but it really has got nothing to do with you.

What has it got to do with then? But you you don't think he's losing his faculties, do you? Alice said you thought he was fine.

Of course he isn't, but he is very stressed.

About what?

Well lo lots of things, you know. Miranda. He was expecting to start a brand new life with her.

So why didn't he? What's stopping him?

Adam.

He could be living with her now. He couldn't. Of course he could. Moving back into home farm is all he's ever wanted.

Couldn't leave Rory.

W Rory? Why does everyone keep mentioning Rory? No, seriously, what am I missing? He's not a little boy.

You you you're not missing anything.

ले ले ले ले

Forget I said anything.

No what is it? What's going on with Rory? Tell me.

Look, all I'm trying to say is that you shouldn't be too hard on Brian. He's not being as callous as he seems.