The AMPire Diaries Episode 35: “The Rager” | “The Five” Alright, AMPies. You’ve waited patiently—well, maybe not “patiently,” but you have waited—and now the latest episode of The AMPire Diaries is here. This week, your favorite Vampire Diaries rewatch-slash-first-time watch (and mostly spoiler-free) combination podcast is continuing on our Vampire Diaries Season 4 journey with “The Rager” (Season 4, Episode 3) and “The Five” (Season 4, Episode 4). That means we’re talking: - Does Tyler Lockwood...
Mar 12, 2021•3 hr 32 min
The AMPire Diaries Episode 34: “Growing Pains” | “Memorial” AMPies, we are in Season 4 of The Vampire Diaries now. Please clap. And guess what? We recorded these episodes—“Growing Pains” (Season 4, Episode 1) and “Memorial” (Season 4, Episode 2)—during one of those “fun” Los Angeles heatwaves, so please bear with us as you listen to the heat seep into our brains in real time. So, what are our soup brains talking this week? Well... - "Heightened." - The "jacked little boy" image that haunts Morga...
Feb 27, 2021•3 hr 1 min
The AMPire Diaries Episode 33: “Before Sunset” | “The Departed” (feat. Michael Chasin) AMPies, it is here. We finally have a new (and of course, quite long) episode for you. And what do you know? It’s the Season 3 finale! *airhorn sound* Finally, we are discussing—with the help of resident boy, Michael Chasin (@MichaelChasin)—“Before Sunset” (Season 3, Episode 21) and “The Departed” (Season 3, Episode 22). But what exactly are we talking? Look, it’s a long episode that’s been a long time coming:...
Feb 12, 2021•3 hr 40 min
The AMPire Diaries Episode 32: “Heart of Darkness” | “Do Not Go Gentle” AMPies, we have a new (very long) episode for you!!! And we are discussing (at length) “Heart of Darkness” (Season 3, Episode 19) and “Do Not Gentle” (Season 3, Episode 20). More specifically, here’s what we’re talking: - The worst thing a white woman can say over and over again. (Spoiler alert: It’s “sisters.”) - Jill's true Klaus feelings. - The one-seasons ABC series Selfie. - Our desire to have Rebekah attend a high scho...
Jan 30, 2021•3 hr 36 min
The AMPire Diaries: Legacies Episode 1: “We're Not Worthy” (PATREON PREVIEW) ***SPOILER WARNING*** This is a spoiler-filled discussion of Legacies Season 3, Episode 1, “We’re Not Worthy.” We discuss spoilers from the entire runs of The Vampire Diaries, The Originals, and Legacies. Long story short: This is NOT a Jill-safe episode. Nor are these Jill-safe notes. Leave if you must! “Only AMPies can pull the sword from the stone.” AMPies, Legacies has returned for its third season, and your AMPie Q...
Jan 23, 2021•1 hr 16 min
The AMPire Diaries Episode 31: “Break On Through” | “The Murder of One” Happy New Year, AMPies: We are back, BABY! New Year, new us? Nah, not really. But we do have a new episode of The AMPire Diaries for you and a new Patreon. You know you love it. Especially since we’re discussing “Break On Through” (Season 3, Episode 17) and “The Murder of One” (Season 3, Episode 18). Here is what we’re talking to kick off 2021: - The lack of crows in “The Murder of One.” - Finn’s great taste in women. - Morg...
Jan 23, 2021•3 hr 2 min
The AMPire Diaries Episode 30: “All My Children” | “1912” (feat. Michael Chasin) Happy holidays, sisters… er… AMPies! As promised, The second of two new AMPire Diaries episodes is finally here. Now—with the help of our resident boy, Michael Chasin (@MichaelChasin)—we’re discussing “All My Children” (Season 3, Episode 15) and “1912” (Season 3, Episode 16). And guess what we’re talking: - Sage and being horny for Sage. You were all warned. - Esther Mikaelson saying "sister." - Elijah, man. - Mysti...
Dec 24, 2020•2 hr 55 min
The AMPire Diaries Episode 29: “Bringing Out The Dead” | “Dangerous Liaisons” Happy holidays, AMPies! The first of two new AMPire Diaries episodes is finally here. First up, we’re discussing “Bringing Out The Dead” (Season 3, Episode 13) and “Dangerous Liaisons” (Season 3, Episode 14). And guess what we’re talking: - "Bringing Out The Dead" unofficial tile, which is "Bros Before Hos." - Klaus’ coffin haircuts, or “coffin cuts.” - How you spell “liaison.” - The fact that Caroline still can't chan...
Dec 24, 2020•3 hr 16 min
The AMPire Diaries Episode 28: “Our Town” | “The Ties That Bind” AMPies, we’ve done done it now. We’ve broken the 3-hour-mark seal. Finally. Thanks a bunch, 15-minute intro (that was, of course, cut down from 30 minutes). And thanks a bunch to the episode we’re discussing this week, which are “Our Town” (Season 3, Episode 11) and “The Ties That Bind” (Season 3, Episode 12). We’re talking: - Karate Morgan. - The Gilbert ring possibly running low on batteries. - Those flimsy ass hybrids. - Coffin ...
Dec 10, 2020•3 hr 8 min
The AMPire Diaries Episode 27: “Homecoming” | “The New Deal” Oh, AMPies. It’s that time again—time for a new episode. And this week, it’s all about “Homecoming” (Season 3, Episode 9—not a decade dance) and “New Deal” (Season 3, Episode 10). So here is what we’re talking, baby: - For Morgan's sake, please don't cancel Katherine Pierce. - My Morning Jacket. - Quentin Tarantino. - Why LaToya can't watch the classic television series E.R. - “Daddy D.” - Team Dummy. - Who should kiss Bonnie? (Spoiler...
Dec 04, 2020•2 hr 59 min
Happy Thanksgiving, AMPies! Now a little over a month after we recorded this, our second-ever mailbag episode, it is finally here for your listening consumption. As always, this is an overly-long chaotic discussion about all things Vampire Diaries… and other things. ***AUDIO WARNING*** None of us sound great on this episode, audio-wise—for reasons LaToya and Jill still don’t quite understand—but Morgan especially doesn’t sound great—for reasons we all understand and have since fixed. I (LaToya) ...
Nov 26, 2020•2 hr 12 min
The AMPire Diaries Episode 26: “Ghost World” | “Ordinary People” AMPies, assuming you even read these show notes (and you should, as they are great), I (hi, it’s LaToya) need to let you know that I am so exhausted—as you can probably tell from the fact that I am dropping this episode at 3 a.m. on a Friday night/Saturday morning. So I’m just gonna get right to it. This week’s episode is all about “Ghost World” (Season 3, Episode 7) and “Ordinary People” (Season 3, Episode 8) , and here is what we...
Nov 21, 2020•2 hr 50 min
The AMPire Diaries Episode 25: “The Reckoning” | “Smells Like Teen Spirit” (feat. Michael Chasin) AMPies, we know you know what time it is. Finally, we’ve reached Morgan’s favorite episode of the series, and finally, we’ve reached senior year for our friends at Mystic Falls High School. And we did both with the help of our resident boy, Michael Chasin (@MichaelChasin). Yes, this week is “The Reckoning” (Season 3, Episode 5) and “Smells Like Teen Spirit” (Season 3, Episode 6) , so why not take a ...
Nov 11, 2020•2 hr 38 min
The AMPire Diaries Episode 24: “The End of the Affair” | “Disturbing Behavior” AMPies, the time has finally come on this Vampire Diaries rewatch-slash-first-time watch (and mostly spoiler-free) combination podcast. We have finally gotten to the point in our recordings where we’ll be lucky if we don’t cross the three-hour threshold. And the crazy part? Not even our most bits! We really talk about the show this podcast is about! Guess “The End of the Affair” (Season 3, Episode 3) and “Disturbing B...
Nov 06, 2020•2 hr 51 min
The AMPire Diaries Episode 23: “The Birthday” | “The Hybrid” And now, AMPies, we are on to the next when it comes to The Vampire Diaries. That’s right: It’s the Season 3 premiere, so we are moving along on this Vampire Diaries rewatch-slash-first-time watch (and mostly spoiler-free) combination podcast, with “The Birthday” (Season 3, Episode 1) and “The Hybrid” (Season 3, Episode 2). Now, I bet you’re wondering what we’re talking about this week. Well... - Our podcast being fake news. (Sorry.) -...
Oct 28, 2020•2 hr 25 min
The AMPire Diaries Episode 22: “The Sun Also Rises” | “As I Lay Dying” AMPies, it’s here: It’s the Season 2 finale of The Vampire Diaries (and The AMPire Diaries… duh). Yes, we are moving along on this Vampire Diaries rewatch-slash-first-time watch (and mostly spoiler-free) combination podcast, with “The Sun Also Rises” (Season 2, Episode 21) and “As I Lay Dying” (Season 2, Episode 22). Tears for years, y’all. But also some patented AMPie Queen stupidity. So, what are we talking this week? - The...
Oct 13, 2020•2 hr 11 min
BONUS: The White Male Canon (Episode 21 Bonus Clip) With no boy around to rein us in, your AMPie Queens become misandrists during this particular bonus clip. Don’t worry, though: It all ends up circling back to The Vampire Diaries, which is actually impressive for a bonus clip. Especially one that comes for Citizen Kane the way that this one does.
Oct 07, 2020•6 min
BONUS: Teenage Bounty Hunters: The Game Show (Episode 21 Bonus Clip) Well, we recorded this clip during a glorious time when Netflix hadn’t yet canceled Teenage Bounty Hunters, which is why you can hear joy in our voices during this. You (and Jill) should definitely still watch the show though. And Morgan’s going to tell you why! SPOILER WARNING: We do a little spoilage for the series once it comes to Morgan’s ace in the hole. So, you’ve been warned.
Oct 07, 2020•8 min
The AMPire Diaries Episode 21: “Klaus” | “The Last Day” After celebrating Morgan’s birth, we are finally moving along on this Vampire Diaries rewatch-slash-first-time watch (and mostly spoiler-free) combination podcast, AMPies, with “Klaus” (Season 2, Episode 19) and “The Last Day” (Season 2, Episode 20). Klaus is finally, truly here, and in the past, we thought he would overtake Tyler as Jill’s “guy!” We were wrong… and you can hear that here! But what else are we talking this week? - Has Jill ...
Oct 07, 2020•2 hr 22 min
BONUS: Jeremy (But Not The One You're Thinking Of) (Episode 20 Bonus Clip) AMPies, if you have listened to this week’s AMPire Diaries episode, then you know that Morgan had to cut out her rant about the band Pearl Jam. But don’t worry: That rant is now here, in b-b-b-bonus clip form. So please listen as Morgan takes a firm stance against Pearl Jam, Eddie Vedder, and the song “Jeremy”... while defending The Vampire Diaries’ Jeremy in the process?!? Also, listen as Morgan makes LaToya start crying...
Sep 22, 2020•4 min
The AMPire Diaries Episode 20: “Know Thy Enemy” | “The Last Dance” 🎵Oh, where oh where can my baby be?🎵 AMPies! It is time to move along on this Vampire Diaries rewatch-slash-first-time watch (and mostly spoiler-free) combination podcast, so this week, we’re talking “Know Thy Enemy” (Season 2, Episode 17) and “The Last Dance” (Season 2, Episode 18). Which means we’ve finally met Klaus. Sort of. It’s a whole thing. As is the big mistake—HUGE—Morgan makes during this episode. What are we talking...
Sep 22, 2020•2 hr 15 min
BONUS: Vibe Check (Episode 19 Bonus Clip) Just when you thought you couldn’t get enough of The AMPire Diaries, The AMPire Diaries decided to give you another b-b-b-bonus clip! And this time, we’re doing a vibe check. Specifically, a vibe check on how Jill is feeling about the show so far, but we also talk about how Morgan and LaToya are currently feeling at this point in their rewatch. Because here’s the thing: While we’re reaching the end of The Vampire Diaries Season 2 in our release schedule,...
Sep 16, 2020•7 min
The AMPire Diaries Episode 19: “The Dinner Party” | “The House Guest” (feat. Michael Chasin) Hey yo, AMPies! As we move along on this Vampire Diaries rewatch-slash-first-time watch (and mostly spoiler-free) combination podcast, we’re talking “The Dinner Party” (Season 2, Episode 15—LaToya’s favorite episode) and “The House Guest” (Season 2, Episode 16). And we’re doing it… with a boy. That’s right, friend of the show and resident boy Michael Chasin (@MichaelChasin) is back. (Which, of course, me...
Sep 16, 2020•2 hr 16 min
BONUS: The VirtNet Diaries (Episode 18 Bonus Clip) Just when you thought you couldn’t get enough of The AMPire Diaries, The AMPire Diaries decided to give you a b-b-b-bonus clip! Because Episode 18 (covering “Daddy Issues” and “Crying Wolf”) just wasn’t long enough. In that episode, Morgan brought up a book series from James Dashner, author of the Maze Runner book series. Well, in this bonus clip, Morgan does a deep dive into these books, while LaToya and Jill… well, they just listen. We know, w...
Sep 09, 2020•3 min
The AMPire Diaries Episode 18: “Daddy Issues” | “Crying Wolf” AMPies! Moving along on this Vampire Diaries rewatch-slash-first-time watch (and mostly spoiler-free) combination podcast, we’re talking about “Daddy Issues” (Season 2, Episode 13) and “Crying Wolf” (Season 2, Episode 14). And when we say we’re talking, we mean we’re talking a lot about: - Does Jules… um… Does Jules wanna get wolfy with Tyler? - “Bad Plan Steve.” - Television's Stephen Amell (AKA “Mr. Arrow”). - Morgan's stance on see...
Sep 09, 2020•2 hr 17 min
The AMPire Diaries Episode 17: “By the Light of the Moon” | “The Descent” Hey, hey, hey, AMPies! Moving along on this Vampire Diaries rewatch-slash-first-time watch (and mostly spoiler-free) combination podcast, we’re talking about “By the Light of the Moon” (Season 2, Episode 11) and “The Descent” (Season 2, Episode 12). We get quite rowdy in this episode, and this week, we’re talking: - Jill’s #1 boy, Tyler Lockwood. - The years in which cast members were born. - Jill’s #1 boy, Tyler Lockwood....
Sep 01, 2020•1 hr 53 min
The AMPire Diaries Episode 16: “Katerina” | “The Sacrifice” Dear AMPies: LET MEN HAVE CHEST HAIR! Wait. Sorry. That demand was for The CW. Let’s try this again… Dear AMPies: LET’S GET THIS D. What “D,” exactly? Well, that’s up for interpretation, according to this episode of The AMPire Diaries. And Moving along on this Vampire Diaries rewatch-slash-first-time watch (and mostly spoiler-free) combination podcast, we’re talking “Katerina” (Season 2, Episode 9) and “The Sacrifice” (Season 2, Episode...
Aug 21, 2020•2 hr 8 min
Hello, AMPies! This week in this horny Vampire Diaries rewatch-slash-first-time watch (and mostly spoiler-free) combination podcast, we’re dropping two new episodes! First up is this, our first-ever mailbag episode, with questions, comments, and concerns from our beautiful AMPies. As always, this is an overly-long chaotic discussion about all things Vampire Diaries. (Later today, you’ll get also get the highly-anticipated 16th episode of The AMPire Diaries, covering “Katerina” and “The Sacrifice...
Aug 19, 2020•1 hr 14 min
The AMPire Diaries Episode 15: “Masquerade” | “Rose” (feat. Michael Chasin) Let’s go, AMPies. Moving along on this Vampire Diaries rewatch-slash-first-time watch (and mostly spoiler-free) combination podcast, we’re talking “Masquerade” (Season 2, Episode 7) and “Rose” (Season 2, Episode 8). And we’re doing so with The AMPire Diaries’ resident boy, Michael Chasin (@MichaelChasin), making his official return to the podcast. Yes, he brings “Boy Corner” back. This week, we’re talking: - The Trevino ...
Aug 04, 2020•2 hr 19 min
The AMPire Diaries Episode 14: “Kill or Be Killed” | “Plan B” AMPies, we’re moving along on this Vampire Diaries rewatch-slash-first-time watch (and mostly spoiler-free) combination podcast to talk about “Kill or Be Killed” (Season 2, Episode 5) and “Plan B” (Season 2, Episode 6). Two episodes that absolutely rock… and roll. What, exactly do we talk about in this week’s episode? A lot of things, but most importantly, this is officially the episode where Jill declares her undying love to her boy ...
Jul 29, 2020•2 hr 10 min
