Last year, we had a powerful conversation with author Sam Jolman about his book The Sex Talk You Never Got—one of our most-listened-to episodes of the year. Now, Sam returns to share more about the book's impact and to dive deeper into its themes. This time, he and Dan explore the biblical story of Amnon and Tamar in 2 Samuel 13, a tragic account of lust, power, and sexual violence that resonates deeply with age-old struggles of the human heart. Sam unpacks how a man's sexuality is shaped not on...
Apr 04, 2025•53 min
In part two of this conversation, Dan and Rachael continue their exploration by addressing the profound link between shame, food, and sex. Shame is often leveraged by evil around our core needs for nourishment and intimacy to isolate and create deeper wounds, making it difficult to engage these areas with openness. Dan emphasizes, "Knowing your story's vulnerability to how you have been harmed, but also how you've used food and sex," is crucial. Rather than allowing shame to silence or control u...
Mar 28, 2025•40 min
Both food and sex are vital for sustaining life yet are often fraught with complex emotions and struggles. In the first of a two-part conversation, Dan and Rachael invite you to explore these deeply personal topics with curiosity and compassion. While we've previously discussed shame, food, and sex as separate issues, today we're diving into their powerful connection—and why it matters. Both food and sex are not just about survival; they can also offer comfort, pleasure, and a sense of belonging...
Mar 21, 2025•39 min
We're thrilled to welcome back Pastor James A. White, who challenges us to think deeply about the stories we've been told — and the ones we haven't. Who decides which stories get remembered and which are forgotten? How has a Western lens shaped our understanding of the gospel? And what can happen when we truly honor the origin stories of everyone — individual cultures, histories, and experiences? Pastor White believes that our past holds the key to both understanding the present and shaping a be...
Mar 14, 2025•54 min
We're continuing our conversation with Rev. Dr. David Rice about confronting Christian nationalism—a topic we're diving into because of the ways that it can deeply affect our faith, our communities, and how we engage with one another in this shifting cultural and political landscape. In our last episode, David shared his personal story—how his upbringing, ministry experiences, and cultural shifts shaped his understanding of faith and politics. We explored the unique challenges pastors face in ad...
Mar 07, 2025•45 min
Christian nationalism is a growing issue in the U.S., raising important questions about the relationship between faith and politics. How does our faith shape the way we engage with political issues? And are our political allegiances influencing our faith in ways we may not realize? While we're certainly not a news or political network, this is a timely and necessary conversation. Power—both religious and political—can be used to bring about justice and healing, but it can also be wielded in ways...
Feb 28, 2025•47 min
In this episode, Rachael Clinton Chen welcomes back Dr. J. Derek McNeil, President and Provost of The Seattle School of Theology and Psychology, for a thoughtful conversation about navigating today's fragmented world with hope, kindness, and connection. They explore how uncertainty, institutional distrust, and cultural polarization have left many feeling unmoored. As people of faith, we are called to love God and our neighbors—but how do we do this in a world that feels so divided? Regardless of...
Feb 21, 2025•46 min
Valentine's Day is often wrapped in commercialized romance, but what if love is more than sentimentality? In this episode, Dr. Dan Allender and Rachael Clinton Chen explore an aspect of love that we all need—kindness. But not the shallow, conflict-avoidant "niceness" we often mistake for kindness. Instead, they dive into the disruptive, provocative nature of true kindness—kindness that challenges, disrupts old patterns, and calls us into deeper growth. Kindness asks us to receive care and, somet...
Feb 14, 2025•42 min
At the Allender Center, we love stories—and this week, we're honored to hear from Charlie Peacock as he shares his own. His brand-new memoir, "Roots and Rhythm: A Life in Music," offers a deep dive into the journey that shaped his legendary career. A Grammy Award-winning music producer whose work has shaped the sound of multiple generations, Charlie opens up about his journey through music, his creative process, and the stories behind his life — and the stories he's chosen to tell in his memoir....
Feb 07, 2025•47 min
Healing isn't about "fixing" yourself or completing a checklist. It's about stepping into the fullness of who you were created to be. It's about reclaiming the parts of you that trauma, disappointment, or systems of injustice have tried to diminish. As Dan puts it: "Healing can't take over our lives in the sense that you do nothing but heal. But there is something about love—love of your own body and what it can bring others when you are healthier." Your healing matters because you matter—your s...
Jan 31, 2025•46 min
Have you ever wondered what we mean when we say "your story" and why it matters? In this special episode, Adam Young, Cathy Loerzel, and Dan Allender sit down together to unpack the basics. Whether you're new to this conversation or you've been on the journey for a while, this is a perfect place to start—or to revisit the foundation of story work. We're thrilled to co-release this episode with The Place We Find Ourselves Podcast. Grab a cup of coffee, find a cozy spot, and join us as we explore ...
Jan 24, 2025•33 min
To celebrate the forthcoming release of The Deep-Rooted Marriage, co-authored by Dan Allender and Steve Call, Dan and Becky Allender reflect on their own marriage story — its unique dynamics, the challenges they've faced, and the redemptive journey they've walked together. They open up about how their family-of-origin stories shaped their relationship in ways they didn't initially realize and the intentional work it took to build new, healthier ways of connecting, particularly over the past deca...
Jan 17, 2025•46 min
Becky Allender sits down with Rachael Clinton Chen for a one-on-one conversation. Becky reflects on how she and Dan have experienced profound transformation in their marriage, particularly since the Allender Center was founded in 2011. It was during this time that they began practicing the fundamentals of story engagement within their own relationship—a journey that not only changed their lives but also inspired the Marriage offerings at the Allender Center. No matter what season you're in—wheth...
Jan 10, 2025•35 min
As we think about the upcoming year, we know that hope can feel elusive. Weighed down by uncertainty, exhaustion, and a world filled with division and stress, it's easy to wonder if hope is even worth holding onto. Hope carries heartache. Longing for something better can feel vulnerable, especially when past disappointments and cynicism weigh heavy on our hearts. It can feel safer to let go of hope than to risk the ache of unfulfilled desire. But as Dan Allender shares, hope isn't passive or naï...
Jan 03, 2025•44 min
As we near the close of the year, Dan and Becky Allender are continuing a podcast tradition: sitting down to reflect on their experiences and inviting you, our listeners, to join them in this meaningful practice. Dan and Becky share their own reflections—what they've learned, what they're grieving, and what they're celebrating—as they prepare to transition into a new season. They've also shared a few practical ways you can reflect on your year: Scroll through your photo gallery. Notice the momen...
Dec 27, 2024•43 min
With Christmas just around the corner, it's easy to get lost in the comforts of gifts, gatherings, and familiar holiday carols. Yet in today's podcast, Dan and Rachael remind us that the true celebration of Christmas means embracing the profound disruption Jesus brought to the world—a call to love, bless, and challenge the status quo, even in a world often defined by hatred and division. This conversation invites us to see Christmas as more than a season of comfort. It's a time of transformation...
Dec 13, 2024•45 min
As we continue through the season of Advent, this week's episode of the Allender Center Podcast invites you to linger in the profound mystery of light and darkness found in John 1. Dan and Rachael reflect on the richness of this passage, offering insights into the paradox of the light that reveals all yet remains unseen by many. "In him was life, and that life was the light of all mankind. The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it." (John 1:4-5) Through their convers...
Dec 06, 2024•35 min
As we enter the season of Advent, Dan and Rachael invite us to reflect on the opening of John's Gospel: "In the beginning was the Word…" From there, they move to John's closing declaration: "Jesus did many other things as well. If every one of them were written down, I suppose that even the whole world would not have room for the books that would be written." Through this framework, they delve into the meaning and weight of the Word — and of words themselves. Words are not just for speaking, but...
Nov 29, 2024•37 min
When confronting spiritual abuse, it can feel more straightforward to focus on a specific person or leader who may have caused harm. But it's also important to address the systems and cultural contexts that, in their most obvious forms, promote abuse—and in their more subtle forms, allow it to happen or refuse to confront it. In this episode, Dan and Rachael dive into the painful realities of spiritual abuse and the systems that uphold it. They explore how cultural powers—such as patriarchy, whi...
Nov 22, 2024•38 min
Abuse of any kind involves a setup and a breach of trust – and spiritual abuse is no exception. Whether it stems from personal relationships or institutional settings, spiritual abuse can deeply disrupt our sense of attachment and connection, leaving lasting wounds. These wounds may have their roots in early developmental trauma, making spiritual abuse feel like an echo of past harm. It's not just about the betrayal of spiritual abuse in the more recent past—whether during teen years, college ex...
Nov 15, 2024•43 min
In this episode of the Allender Center Podcast, Dan and Rachael open up about navigating uncertain times with faith and intentionality. They recorded this conversation before the results of the U.S. Presidential election were announced so that, no matter the outcome, they could focus on what it means to act justly, love mercy, and walk humbly in today's world. As they examine both the cultural landscape and the state of their own hearts, we invite you to listen and join them in reflecting on wha...
Nov 08, 2024•34 min
This week, we're checking in with you, dear listeners, in a candid and vulnerable episode. Days before the U.S. Presidential Election, Dan and Rachael share the emotional weight they're carrying, touching on the intense anxiety, anger, and grief of this turbulent season and honestly acknowledging, "We're not doing well." Together, they explore practices that help them stay grounded and find hope. We hope that this conversation possibly helps you navigate similar feelings in uncertain times, or, ...
Nov 01, 2024•37 min
In this episode, we invite you to take a deep breath and find some grounding through the power of poetry. Whether you're navigating stress or simply feeling a bit unsteady, poetry — reading it, writing it, or even the act of writing any thoughts by hand — can offer profound moments of calm and connection. We're thrilled to be joined once again by Sue Cunningham, an Allender Center facilitator and licensed therapist. Sue wears many hats — poet, life and soul coach, spiritual director — and now, p...
Oct 25, 2024•48 min
Dr. J.P. Kang joins Dan and Rachael this week to introduce The Seattle School's brand new Certificate in Scripture and Society. From the beginning, J.P. makes it clear—this isn't just another Bible study course. As he explains, "It's not the way that they've approached scripture in a previous church setting or perhaps faith-based educational institution. I think that what I'm trying to do is help students become better readers, both of the text and of their context, of themselves." This transfor...
Oct 18, 2024•33 min
On this week's episode of The Allender Center Podcast, licensed therapist, professor, and author Chuck DeGroat returns to discuss his latest book, "Healing What's Within: Coming Home to Yourself—and to God—When You're Wounded, Weary, and Wandering." In this deeply personal and insightful conversation, Chuck explores the profound journey of healing from trauma, especially when it's caused by circumstances beyond our control. After the release of his previous book, "When Narcissism Comes to Church...
Oct 11, 2024•46 min
Just as it's important to understand our own stories to make sense of our lives today, it's also crucial to examine the stories within the church's history to better understand how they are playing out in the present. That's why we're excited to welcome back author, professor, and church historian The Rev. Dr. Jennifer Powell McNutt as she explores the life of a woman who played a significant role in the ministry, burial, and resurrection of Jesus: Mary Magdalene. For too long, the church has mi...
Oct 04, 2024•45 min
In this episode, Nancy opens up about her personal journey through childhood sexual abuse, revealing how it led her to take on an investigative journalism project that would dramatically alter both her career and her life. As the lead journalist, Nancy exposed the deep-rooted culture of enabling and covering up sexual abuse at one of the largest Christian camps in the U.S. In the process of confronting her own past, Nancy also faced significant opposition, particularly from Christians who defend...
Sep 27, 2024•27 min
Join us for a compelling two-part conversation with author, ghostwriter, and investigative journalist Nancy French. In this episode, Nancy shares some of her story - from growing up in the impoverished foothills of the Appalachian Mountains to meeting her now-husband, journalist David French, and spontaneously moving to New York and beginning her career as ghostwriter for numerous books by conservative political leaders, including five that hit the New York Times bestselling list. Stay tuned for...
Sep 27, 2024•26 min
In this episode, Rachael Clinton Chen and her husband Michael Chen dive into the importance of parenting with kindness—not just toward children, but toward ourselves. Whether you're a parent, grandparent, or caregiver, it's common for past traumas to resurface when you're feeling overwhelmed or stretched thin. Rachael and Michael openly discuss the joys and challenges they've faced in their new marriage, blending families, raising young children, and navigating a pandemic, all of which have both...
Sep 20, 2024•36 min
Dan opens today's episode with this principle: "All harm came in relationship; all healing equally requires a relationship." If you've been with us for a while, you'll understand that healing from abuse is not something we do alone. We need the presence and kindness of others to truly heal and flourish. Yet, when we've been abused, it can feel so challenging to trust again, especially when trauma leaves us feeling isolated and hypervigilant. In this episode, Dan and Rachael explore how finding s...
Sep 13, 2024•48 min
