"Everyone's disciplined for what they love," states Dr. Dan Allender. The quest for becoming "more disciplined" prompts questions about motivation. Is it fueled by a higher purpose or overshadowed by shame and guilt? Does discipline revolve around self-control or simply a desire for control? What are the costs of being disciplined - and what goodness results from it? In their discussion, Dan and Rachael dive into these questions and more. They explore the complexities of discipline, the signific...
Feb 10, 2024•40 min
This week, Dr. J. Derek McNeil, the president of The Seattle School of Theology and Psychology , engages in a candid dialogue with Dr. Dan Allender, exploring the multifaceted challenges of leading in today's turbulent times. Whether you hold a formal leadership role or not, this conversation speaks to the universal nature of leadership. Whether as a parent, grandparent, or friend, each of us has a level of influence on others and grapples with the burden of providing guidance amid uncertainty. ...
Feb 02, 2024•41 min
Join Dan and Rachael as they continue last week's discussion about spiritual abuse. This week, they shift their focus to the healing process, exploring the challenges of naming and reconciling our experiences with spiritual abuse, particularly the difficulty in trusting others with our stories. Spiritual abuse casts a shadow, creating a landscape of distrust, fragmentation, and isolation, often cutting us off from the very thing that can help us heal - one another. Drawing from years of conducti...
Jan 26, 2024•37 min
As we prepare for our upcoming Story Workshop for Spiritual Abuse & Healing , Dan and Rachael return to discuss to the insidious issue of spiritual abuse and the broken systems that perpetuate this type of harm. As many systems around us are crumbling, we hear story after story about overt abuse and misuse of power in high-profile churches and ministries. We also know that spiritual abuse can manifest across a spectrum, with some individuals perpetrating harm knowingly, while others may unkn...
Jan 19, 2024•38 min
Containment is both something that we need to receive and it's something that we can provide for others in our roles as parents, spouses, friends, and members of a greater community - particularly during challenging times. Containment is not about control or maintaining the status quo; instead, it involves creating a safe space for others to express emotions and navigate difficulties. The concept of containment is closely tied to attunement, which means being aware of others' needs and understan...
Jan 12, 2024•42 min
As we step into 2024, the global landscape presents us with profound challenges – from conflicts in Palestine and Israel to widespread war, economic disparities, and political divisions. Add to this mix the heightened levels of anxiety and rage permeating our society, all unfolding against the backdrop of an election year here in the U.S. In the midst of this complexity, how do we navigate our growing personal and collective anxiety, and can it be an opportunity for us to live more fully accordi...
Jan 05, 2024•45 min
It's become an annual tradition for Dan and Becky Allender to reflect on their year on the podcast, and today, we get to hear their personal reflections on 2023. They discuss the loss of dear friends this year, the fragility of life, the heartache of crises happening around the world, and the impact of disappointment on some of their personal plans and dreams. In the midst of grief, they also express gratitude for the goodness they have experienced this year. As we listen, themes of simplicity, ...
Dec 29, 2023•37 min
As you anticipate and prepare for your holiday feast, we invite you to pull up a seat at our table to discuss the rich sensuality of the aromas, flavors, and sounds that are embedded in the festive season. Joining us for this discussion is Lauren Peiser, the Manager of Partnerships at The Seattle School of Theology & Psychology. Today, however, we affectionately dub her our "resident gastronomist" on account of her passion for the enjoyment of good food and drink. This conversation not only ...
Dec 22, 2023•48 min
Looking for a good book to curl up with this winter? Dan and Rachael both highly recommend the new book by today's guest, Blaine Eldredge: "The Paradise King." The book is a unique exploration of Jesus through the Old Testament and into the New, blending historical fiction with a deep engagement with the biblical text. Blaine joins us today to discuss the inspiration behind the book, sharing a personal journey marked by challenges and loss. The book and our discussion serve as an open invitation...
Dec 15, 2023•47 min
You have a story and that story matters. Your story in your family of origin significantly affects the way you think, feel, and act in the world today. This is why Dan Allender says, "It is time to listen to your story." What if healing begins by listening to your story? By reflecting on—and engaging—the experiences in your growing-up years, you can better understand why your brain has been shaped in the way that it has. These are the topics that Dan Allender, Cathy Loerzel, and Adam Young explo...
Dec 11, 2023•40 min
What's the best present you've ever gotten? And what's the present you were the most proud to give? Join Dan and Rachael in today's episode as they explore the nuances of gift-giving during the Christmas season. They share insights into their personal approaches to selecting and presenting gifts for their loved ones, while also navigating the complexities of holiday expectations, addressing grief and heartache that can come up, and emphasizing the importance of self-honoring. The conversation ex...
Dec 08, 2023•41 min
As they anticipate the upcoming Advent season, Dan and Rachael take a moment to look back, sharing their distinct perspectives on Christmas and delving into memories from their childhood associated with the holiday. Whether it's a genuine love for the rituals and traditions or a more somber reflection grounded in challenging past experiences, we're exploring the diverse emotional landscapes that the season can evoke. We invite you to listen as we discuss the role of nostalgia, memory, and locati...
Dec 01, 2023•36 min
As we approach a holiday season that's highly focused on food, we're thrilled to be joined by Diane Summers, MS, RDN, CEDS-S, CD, a highly experienced and nationally registered dietitian specializing in the treatment of eating disorders, for an insightful exploration of the multifaceted issue of food insecurity. Drawing on her 19 years of expertise, Diane delves into two essential frameworks through which to understand this critical topic. The first framework begins with a stark reality: 12.8% (...
Nov 17, 2023•48 min
Have you ever wondered if you or a loved one may have adult ADHD? It's estimated that more than 8 million Americans, nearly 5% of the population, are living with this condition – many without even realizing it, as reported by WebMD. While ADHD is a neurodevelopmental condition present from birth, it often goes undiagnosed until adulthood. This topic is gaining increasing awareness, and an adult diagnosis can lead to newfound self-awareness, helping individuals shed years of shame and confusion. ...
Nov 10, 2023•46 min
Trauma is inevitable in a fallen world. It can range from small "t" traumas to capital "T" traumas, but the common thread is the violation of your dignity as a human being. If trauma is inevitable, this means we are all encountering stories of trauma every day - in our own lives and in the lives of those around us. So what are we to do when someone we love or care for is hurting? You might find yourself saying, "I'm so sorry to hear that," but often, it feels like you're not doing enough to trul...
Nov 03, 2023•28 min
How can we become more capable of repairing our relationships with ourselves, others, and with God? In this episode, Dan and Rachael dive into the concept of repair in both personal and larger societal contexts. They stress the importance of humility in our repair process, introducing the concept of "epistemic humility" as a way to express love by making space for others. It's a curious approach that acknowledges the limitations of our perspective, which is shaped by our unique experiences. The ...
Oct 27, 2023•44 min
We're so pleased to be joined by therapist and author Aundi Kolber, known for her acclaimed works "Try Softer" and, most recently, "Strong Like Water." As a licensed professional counselor specializing in trauma- and body-centered therapies, Aundi's expertise is deeply informed by her personal journey of healing from complex childhood trauma. Aundi candidly shares her personal journey of healing, from confronting the profound extent of her past trauma and discovering healing methods that nurture...
Oct 20, 2023•49 min
When it comes to telling the truth, we grapple with a fundamental tension— we're living in a fallen world as imperfect beings, yet we also recognize and long for the beauty of truth. When it comes to relationships, especially close ones, this tension can become even more complex. The fear of potential consequences often competes with our desire to be honest and authentic. Navigating this path can be tricky. There's a fine line between being authentic and being cruel. What's needed is a generous ...
Oct 13, 2023•34 min
Ever wondered why we sometimes keep the truth hidden, even from those we love most? Today, we're exploring the intricacies of truth and deceit with questions like: Why do we resort to little white lies? What drives us to withhold the truth? Is keeping a secret ever an act of love? And how do we navigate the weight of truth when it feels unbearable? The humbling reality is that none of us can handle the unfiltered truth all the time and we all have the capacity for deception. How does recognizing...
Oct 06, 2023•39 min
Join us for an all-new episode of the Allender Center Podcast as we sit down with our dear friend Matthias Roberts, author of the upcoming book "Holy Runaways: Rediscovering Faith After Being Burned by Religion." Matthias, a queer psychotherapist specializing in religious and spiritual trauma, brings a unique perspective to the conversation. His book is a beacon of hope for those who have felt ignored, oppressed, or rejected by their religious communities and churches. It offers a clear path for...
Sep 29, 2023•48 min
Welcome to a very special episode of the Allender Center Podcast! We can hardly believe it, but today marks a monumental milestone – our 500th episode! 🎉 Join your hosts, Dan and Rachael, as they come together to celebrate this incredible journey with you, our listeners, and to answer some of your questions about the inner workings of the conversations that happen here on the Allender Center Podcast. As a heartfelt thank you for your support, we're doing something extra special: Head over to th...
Sep 22, 2023•52 min
When we examine the far-reaching impact of spiritual abuse, it becomes evident that it transcends isolated incidents, permeating a broader culture, system, and ideology that inflict harm. In this week's episode, Rachael engages in a thought-provoking conversation with Joel Kiekintveld, a pastor and Adjunct Professor at The Seattle School, shedding light on the intricate dynamics of systems and cultures that foster spiritually abusive environments. Joel recently hosted Season 4 of Transforming En...
Sep 15, 2023•48 min
In a time when divisions seem to define us, can we still foster meaningful conversations capable of driving real change? In anticipation of the upcoming virtual summit, "Seattle School Connect 2023: Discourse," we're exploring the intricacies and challenges of engaging in discourse with Dr. J. Derek McNeil, President and Provost of The Seattle School of Theology & Psychology. Discourse isn't simply having a conversation; it's a transformative dialogue that can impact and change us. In this e...
Sep 08, 2023•49 min
We're back with Curt Thompson, MD, to talk about hope. Have you ever wondered how to summon hope when everything seems bleak? Is hope a fleeting notion or something we can truly cultivate? Hope, like faith and love, is not just an abstraction, but a skill we can nurture. It's a profound practice that finds its home in both our minds and bodies. Curt shares: "The things that I pay attention to on purpose, I remember. And what I remember becomes my anticipated future. Hope is a function of the min...
Sep 01, 2023•36 min
This week, we have the privilege of welcoming psychiatrist, speaker and author, Curt Thompson, MD, to the Allender Center Podcast. Curt skillfully guides us through a journey into the roots of shame within the human experience. He explores its emergence even before the infamous act of consuming the forbidden fruit, noting that the serpent's temptation, often overlooked as an act of violence, effectively exploits and manipulates shame. This manipulation resonates through time, manifesting in ways...
Aug 25, 2023•46 min
Let's talk about gaslighting — a manipulation tactic that seeks to distort reality and erode one's sense of self. In this episode, Dan and Rachael dissect the mechanics of gaslighting, from its manifestation in personal relationships to its insidious presence within larger structures and societal frameworks. Gaslighting operates in the shadows, a subtle and insidious act that can be challenging to spot and break free from. Our hope is that this conversation will not only help you identify instan...
Aug 18, 2023•43 min
When trauma occurs, how can you respond effectively in those critical moments? Tragedy is an inevitable part of life, and having immediate tools to respond can help mitigate compounding trauma. Join Dr. Dan Allender and Rachael Clinton Chen as they offer a practical framework for engaging with traumatic experiences. They present a 3-step process to help you respond: sitting down, grounding yourself with both feet on the floor, and focusing on your breath. This is not about resolving trauma, but ...
Aug 11, 2023•44 min
Join Rachael and Dan in this podcast episode along with Jill Dyer, Facilitator Care Coordinator at the Allender Center, to delve into the transformative power of prayer as a part of the healing journey and connecting with God and ourselves amidst harm and trauma. We understand that the thought of prayer can evoke different reactions. While it may bring comfort to some, it could also trigger further trauma and avoidance for others. With this in mind, this discussion explores various forms of pray...
Aug 04, 2023•47 min
This week's bonus episode was recorded with philosopher, professor, and author, Dr. Esther Lightcap Meek, as she was entering into her role as the inaugural Senior Scholar at The Seattle School in late 2022. Joined by hosts Dr. Dan Allender and Dr. Chelle Stearns, this discussion centers around the importance of valuing and delighting in the real. Epistemology is "the theory of knowledge," or how we know what we know. Esther argues that knowing is not about acquiring power or control over things...
Jul 28, 2023•49 min
We are thrilled to have Marcie Alvis Walker, the creator of the popular Instagram feed "Black Coffee With White Friends" and the author of the compelling memoir "Everybody Come Alive: A Memoir in Essays," as our special guest on this week's episode of the Allender Center Podcast. Hosting this insightful conversation are Rachael Clinton Chen and Linda Royster from the Allender Center. Marcie shares a bit about her process of writing her debut book, in which she beautifully shares her unique stori...
Jul 21, 2023•55 min
