"We all have something to offer and we all have something to learn from each other in all of our various stages of life and relationships." -Beau Denton As the month of conversations about marriage draws to a close, Dan and Becky invite Beau Denton and Ashley Wright on the podcast to talk about how single people and married people can relate better together. Beau was a former Content Creator for The Seattle School and played an integral role in synthesizing podcast episodes, and Ashley serves as...
Sep 25, 2020•28 min
Dan and Becky Allender invite Paul and Sara Steinke into a conversation about creating and living rituals in marriage, particularly in this era of COVID-19. Paul is the Vice President of Students and Alumni at The Seattle School and Sara is a private practitioner, yoga instructor, and poet. Throughout the episode, they talk about the presence of ritual in their relationships, the specific kinds of rituals they practice to enhance and grow their marriage, and the difference between creating a rit...
Sep 18, 2020•36 min
This week on the podcast, Dan and Becky Allender talk about triggers in marriage with their good friends Dr. Steve and Lisa Call. You may recognize Steve and Lisa from the new Marriage Online Course.What follows is both a humorous and deeply insightful conversation. Triggers can undermine a marriage relationship as a couple often does not have language or context to understand what provoked their partner, or how to engage one another after someone is triggered. Resources: Purchase a bundle of ou...
Sep 11, 2020•29 min
"Can you be faithful with the small?" -Dr. Dan Allender As we enter a fall that is full of complexity, we're going to be having conversations over the next few weeks on the topic of marriage. Before we dive in, however, we want to emphasize that this is a series for everyone—whether you are single, about to be married, just married, or have been married for a long time. Today, you'll hear Dr. Dan Allender and his wife, Becky Allender, talk about the elements of disruption they have been experien...
Sep 05, 2020•33 min
Today we're revisiting a conversation that Dr. Dan Allender had a few years ago with Dr. Chelle Stearns, Associate Professor of Theology at The Seattle School, exploring her ongoing work of developing a theology of abuse. She believes that as a theologian, an artist, and a witness of other artists, she is called—and we are called—to hold together immense sorrow and stunning beauty. Ultimately, Chelle invites us to wrestle with how we address trauma in view of the embodied life of Christ, and how...
Aug 28, 2020•43 min
This week, we're re-sharing the second half of a series Rachael Clinton Chen and Dr. Dan Allender recorded last year on the particulars of spiritual abuse . Throughout their conversation, you'll hear them discuss the effects that spiritual abuse has on our bodies, including dissociation and shame. Because spiritually abusive leaders rarely stop with mind control, they work to create a system in which they can control every aspect—including the bodies—of the people under their authority. Rachael ...
Aug 21, 2020•48 min
Last year, Rachael Clinton Chen and Dr. Dan Allender dove into a series on the dynamics of spiritual abuse and forms of trauma that can emerge in situations of spiritual abuse. This week, we're sharing with you their conversation about some of the particulars of spiritual abuse including mind control, dogmatism, suspicion, and loyalty. One of the first categories you'll hear them unpack is mind control, including the implications and consequences of abusive mind control which distorts desire for...
Aug 14, 2020•42 min
Dr. Dan Allender and Rachael Clinton Chen welcome back former podcast guest Jimmy McGee, President and CEO of The Impact Movement, to have a conversation about the final two qualities of a well-lived story: curiosity and commitment. According to Dan, Jimmy is one of the most curious people (and voracious readers) that he knows. As they talk with one another about these two qualities of a well-lived story, you'll hear how Jimmy came to be so deeply curious and his commitments to wholeness and for...
Aug 07, 2020•42 min
As our hosts, Dr. Dan Allender and Rachael Clinton Chen, continue to explore the qualities of a well-lived story, they invite friend of The Allender Center Danielle Castielljo to engage the topic of courage. Danielle is a writer, mother, and recent graduate of both The Seattle School's MACP graduate program and The Allender Center's Certificate in Narrative Focused Trauma Care Level I and II. Through their conversation, you'll hear many stories from Danielle's life, including her courageous jour...
Jul 31, 2020•34 min
"Kindness is disruptive for our good." Dr. Dan Allender and Rachael Clinton Chen begin to explore the qualities of a well-lived story , beginning with kindness, in a conversation with their spouses Becky Allender and Rev. Michael S. Chen. They talk about how both Becky and Michael embody kindness, and throughout the episode, you'll hear how stories of both hope and heartache impact how they extend kindness to their spouses and those around them. Resources: Learn more about and apply to Virtual S...
Jul 24, 2020•41 min
What draws you to a human being? This week, Dr. Dan Allender and Rachael Clinton Chen begin a new series on the podcast about what makes up the various qualities of and what it means to live a well-lived story. Our own stories are not enough to guide us into living well—we need other people, pictures of, and examples who reveal the very qualities that our stories are meant to reveal. In this episode, you'll hear Dan and Rachael discuss the characteristics of a well-lived story worth emulating an...
Jul 17, 2020•31 min
Today on the podcast, Dr. Dan Allender and Rachael Clinton Chen have a conversation with special guest Sarah Bessey, an author, writer, and self-described recovering know it all. She is the author of Jesus Feminist , Out of Sorts: Making Peace with an Evolving Faith , and Miracles and Other Reasonable Things . Throughout the episode, you'll hear more about her most recent book, her own story and engagement with trauma, and the ways in which she embodies faith, hope, and love while holding the te...
Jul 10, 2020•44 min
In this brief episode, Dr. Dan Allender and Rachael Clinton Chen take an intentional pause from our regular rhythms on the podcast. We hope that for each of our listeners this holiday weekend holds moments of not only rest, but also reflection on our collective story as a nation. Stay tuned as we pick back up next week for a conversation with a very special guest and dive deeper into what it means to have a well-lived story throughout the summer. Resources: Explore our brand-new online course, T...
Jul 03, 2020•6 min
In this episode of the podcast, Dr. Dan Allender and Rachael Clinton Chen continue to address themes and topics related to listener questions . Today, Dan and Rachael take on the question: How do I engage the relational debris of trauma? Whether you are on a healing journey yourself or are supporting a spouse, family, or friends, our hosts talk about how you can engage both the beauty and brokenness of stories of harm when you are not sure either how to receive or be a good support. Throughout t...
Jun 26, 2020•32 min
A few months ago, we sent out a call for topics or questions our listeners would like to hear our hosts, Dr. Dan Allender and Rachael Clinton Chen, cover on the podcast. We were overwhelmed with gratitude at the number of responses received, and are privileged to be able to hold the vulnerable, honest questions that have been entrusted to us. Due to the volume of questions, we looked for patterns and themes in the questions. Today, Dan and Rachael take on a topic brought to us by many of our lis...
Jun 19, 2020•36 min
Rachael Cinton Chen and Dr. Dan Allender are joined by Jimmy McGee, President and CEO of The Impact Movement, and Dr. J. Derek McNeil, President of The Seattle School, to talk about the partnership between The Impact Movement and The Allender Center. The mission of The Impact Movement is "to impact spiritual leaders who impact the world, to engage college students and marketplace professionals [...] and to serve and work in cooperation with and in support of the African American church." Questio...
Jun 12, 2020•40 min
"It matters who gets to tell the story. If it's only left to one person, one group of people, it will be a biased telling—whether intentionally or unintentionally." Dr. Dan Allender and Rachael Clinton Chen have an honest conversation with Wendell Moss, a Teaching Staff member, and Linda Royster, a Core Facilitator, about the current and generational impact of racial trauma, and the infectious nature of white supremacy within the United States, organizations and teams such as our own, and the Ch...
Jun 06, 2020•54 min
Continuing to talk about the impact of the pandemic on relationships, Dr. Dan Allender and Rachael Clinton Chen invite Dr. Steve Call into a conversation about the impact of covid-19 on marriage. We do not approach this topic lightly—we know there is much heartache and brokenness in many homes. Marriage itself is full of complexity and possibility. We hope you hear encouragement, vulnerability, and playfulness as Steve invites us to hear how tension and conflict is created, how increased exposur...
May 29, 2020•31 min
"There are broken parts in every one of us that need a good parent." Dr. Dan Allender Rachael Clinton Chen and Dr. Dan Allender have a conversation with Meredith Dancause—a pastor, writer, and parenting expert—about the complexity of being a parent during a pandemic. Not only parenting young children, but how to be a good parent to ourselves. With both humor and honesty, Meredith speaks to positive discipline and grace, the unique opportunity this season affords us, and the need to pause and be ...
May 22, 2020•32 min
In this episode of the podcast, Dr. Dan Allender and Rachael Clinton Chen talk with Heather Stringer about her creative process of stepping into a moment in someone's story in order to create a ritual. Heather invites us to pause, gather a few items, and participate in a special ritual to account for the past few days and to ask: How do I need to move toward myself during this time? Resources: Visit Heather Stringer's website to learn more about her practice of ritual-making....
May 15, 2020•28 min
Dr. Dan Allender and Rachael Clinton Chen invite Heather Stringer, a facilitator at The Allender Center, therapist, and ritual-maker, to begin a conversation about the importance of ritual and routine in a season of traumatic disruption. What does the loss of our previously held routines mean for each of us, and how can creating rituals become life-giving during this time? Resources: Read a blog post by Heather Stringer about tuning into our bodies. Listen to an episode of Makers and Mystics: Ri...
May 08, 2020•26 min
In their final conversation, Dr. Dan Allender, Diane Summers, RDN, CEDRD-S, CD, and Matt Tiemeyer, LHMC, explore ways we can heal our relationship with food and our bodies. No matter where we are in our journey with food or disordered eating, it is never too late to "turn back to kindness." Resources: Matt Tiemeyer practices at Blue Harbor Counseling Diane Summers practices at Hope Nutrition Therapy Center Follow Covid19 Eating Support on Instagram for around the clock community care meal suppor...
May 01, 2020•31 min
"We are all too willing to turn over our awareness around our bodies to something outside of ourselves, whether its praise or shame of some kind." Picking up their conversation from the first episode, Dr. Dan Allender, Diane Summers,RDN, CEDRD-S, CD, and Matt Tiemeyer, LMHC, continue talking about the connection between desire, shame, and food. Not only are we at war with food, we are also at war with shame in regards to our relationship with our bodies and how we relate to the people around us....
Apr 24, 2020•29 min
"Why are we at war with food?" Dr. Dan Allender hosts two guests, Matt Tiemeyer, LMHC, and Diane Summers, RDN, CEDRD-S, CD , to begin a three-part conversation about the war many of us wage against food and our bodies. In this strange space we find ourselves, food and how we nourish our bodies can become a way of gaining control, particularly for those with stories of harm. Throughout their conversation, you'll hear how Matt and Diane entered the world of eating disorder treatment, the impact of...
Apr 17, 2020•28 min
Rachael Clinton Chen and Dr. Dan Allender have a poignant conversation about making space for the tension and grief of Holy Saturday. In the protestant Christian tradition, the movement from Good Friday to Easter Sunday often bypasses Saturday—the day Jesus "spent time before the face of evil itself." How then do we engage the reality of Holy Saturday, to sit well in the space between the despair of Friday and the joy of Sunday? Resources: Read Psalm 22 Read Romans 8...
Apr 10, 2020•24 min
We find ourselves in the midst of a collective trauma that both exposes, overwhelms, and compounds past traumas. In this new reality, as we come upon the end of the Lenten season, "how do we live as though the resurrection is more true than death?" Rachael Clinton Chen offers words of grounding and hope as she invites us into a different kind of preparation for Holy Week. Resources: Read Psalm 23 Listen to voices from the Asian American Christian Collaborative...
Apr 03, 2020•23 min
Do I believe God is still good even in the midst of profound suffering I don't understand?" Our world continues to change in monumental ways. In this episode, Rachael Clinton Chen and Dr. Dan Allender engage the implications and anxieties brought about by Covid-19, but also turn our attention to the goodness, power, and protection of God. Resources: Read Psalm 91 Veritas Virtual Forum: Coronavirus and Quarantine...
Mar 27, 2020•32 min
In their final conversation about authority, Rachael Clinton Chen and Dr. Dan Allender return to complex waters to discuss mutual submission, what good authority looks like, and what it means for us to submit to those in authority. Oftentimes words like submission are difficult to hear because they have been misused by those in positions of authority. So, how do we reclaim similar words and phrases, especially those found in scripture, that have been so often used to create chaos? Resources: Lis...
Mar 20, 2020•25 min
What does it mean to be a Christian in a moment like this? How then, shall we live? Rachael Clinton Chen and Dr. Dan Allender continue to talk about the impact of Covid-19 and the rapid ways our world continues to change, even in the few days following our first episode. Throughout their conversation you'll hear words of hope, encouragement, and some practical ways to help us connect with our bodies and engage the realities of trauma. "Can we honor that we're all in trauma, as a nation, as a fam...
Mar 19, 2020•31 min
In light of recent, world-altering events, Dan and Rachael sat down to check in with each other and have an honest conversation about the impact of COVID-19. A global pandemic cannot help but bring issues of trauma to the surface. Though we are not trying to resolve all that is unfolding in your own circumstances, we do want to be present and offer encouragement in the midst of these uncertain times. Resources: Love in the Time of Coronavirus by Andy Crouch Listen to a podcast episode on Scapego...
Mar 17, 2020•31 min
