Finding Balance with Mark Metze

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Welcome back to the Agile Within . I am your host , mark Metz , and today I want to talk about something that I've been thinking about a lot lately Finding balance . So often in life we get caught up in extremes .

We go all in on one side or the other and before we know it , we're either burning ourselves out or missing the bigger picture , and I found this to be especially true as a servant leader . Picture an old-timey scale , you know the kind used to measure gold .

Often I feel like I'm trying to find equilibrium only to add too much weight to one side , sending it crashing to the ground , and in my effort to correct it , I add too much weight to the other side and soon enough that side hits the floor too .

It's this constant back and forth , trying to find that perfect middle ground , and more often than not I find myself off balance . This happens especially in my role as a servant leader .

There have been times when I've leaned so hard into the servant part that I ended up doing too much Scheduling meetings , taking minutes , handling small tasks that in the moment felt like they were helping , but over time I realized I was becoming a bottleneck . The team didn't actually need me to do those things . They needed me to teach and mentor .

Other times I swung too far in the other direction , stepping too much into the quote-unquote leadership role making decisions for the team , assigning tasks or inserting my own opinions before really listening . Again , this wasn't the right balance . The magic I've found is somewhere in between . It's a delicate balancing act and , honestly , I don't always get it right .

But maybe that's the point . Maybe there is no perfect balance . Maybe it's about experimenting , adjusting and learning along the way . That's what I tell my teams , and yet I still struggle with it myself . It makes me feel like a hypocrite sometimes , but I've learned to acknowledge that , because if I don't , I start spiraling into self-doubt and negativity .

So today I want to talk about how can we find that middle ground , whether it's in leadership , work or just in life in general . So how do we find that middle ground , that sweet spot , if you will ?

Well , I'm going to give you five steps that have helped me in my journey . Perhaps they'll help you as well . Number one listen between the lines . Finding balance starts with awareness , but here's the tricky part Sometimes the most important signals aren't the ones you hear directly . It takes careful observation to notice what's not being said .

The invisible cues , the body language , hesitation , patterns of behavior . Those can tell you just as much as words . But and this is key if you don't validate those observations , you might be making incorrect assumptions , and that can honestly do more harm than good . So when you think you've picked up on something , ask , don't assume . Check in with your team .

Give them space to confirm or correct what you're seeing . Number two ask the right questions the right way . Another way to find balance is through asking good questions , but how you ask them really matters .

One thing I've learned is that when I ask probing questions , people sometimes misinterpret them as commands in disguise , like I'm subtly telling them what to do . To avoid that , I've started using a phrase I'm asking , I'm not telling . Try it Seriously . Next time you're in a conversation , throw that out there , see if it changes the tone .

For me , it helps reframe the discussion so that your team knows that you're genuinely curious , not issuing directives and what's really cool . Over time , I've found that when I use this phrase enough , my team members start using it too , and it creates a culture where people feel safe to ask those tough questions without fear of stepping on each other's toes .

Number three seek multiple perspectives . One of the biggest lessons I've learned is that balance isn't something you figure out on your own . It comes from seeing through different lenses . That's why I make it a point to ask for feedback in both team settings and in one-on-one conversations , and you know what the responses I get are often drastically different .

In a group , people may hold back or just follow the loudest voice , but in a one-on-one setting , they open up in ways that they wouldn't otherwise . This practice has given me invaluable insights and has shown vulnerability , something that helps build trust Now , at the same time , remember you don't have to take every piece of advice as gospel .

It's a balancing act Listen , consider and then decide what makes the most sense . Number four frame everything as an experiment . Here's something that's helped me a lot treating everything as an experiment .

If you approach leadership decisions and even personal growth with a mindset that some experiments succeed , some fail , it takes the pressure of getting it perfect the first time . Rarely do we nail it right away , not the first time , not even the second or the third , and that's okay .

There's a saying that's really stuck with me Sometimes you win , sometimes you learn . I've repeated this to myself so many times that I literally catch myself whispering it under my breath , because it's true , if you're experimenting and learning , you're always moving forward , and that's a win in itself . Number five keep pushing forward . It's about momentum .

And , finally , don't stop . Finding balance isn't about arriving at a perfect formula . It's about continuous progress . Keep making small adjustments , keep improving . For me , this mindset is best captured by a song from one of my favorite 80s hair metal bands Tesla .

Decades before the car company , they wrote the song Getting Better , and the lyrics that inspire me most go like this Been a change in the scene . If you know what I mean , good things are coming my way Now . I'm living my life and I'm doing it right , sun shining every day . That's the attitude I strive for . It's not about being perfect .

It's about getting better every single

day . If you're interested , I'll leave a link to the song in the show notes . While it's definitely 80s hair metal , tesla has been called the thinking's man hair band , so who knows , maybe you'll find some inspiration in it too . So , as we wrap up , finding balance isn't about getting it perfect . It's about constantly adjusting .

It's about listening , asking , experimenting and keeping up the momentum . And , honestly , you're going to mess up . I mess up , but the worst thing you can do is to let that stop you from trying . So take a step forward , try something new . Keep getting better

. Thanks for listening to the Agile Within . If you enjoyed this episode . Please be sure and subscribe , leave a review and check out the show notes for that Tesla song . Until next time , keep evolving , keep improving and , as always , we're in this together . We'll see you next time . Thanks for joining us for another episode of the Agile Within .

If you haven't already , please join our LinkedIn page to stay in touch . Just search for the Agile Within and please spread the word with your friends and colleagues . Until next time . This has been your host , mark Metz .