"Weak Dudes"

Live from the Export Beer Garden Studio and brought to you by Export Ultra. This is the Agenda Podcast for Wednesday, the twenty first of August.

The Agenda Podcast, the home of sporting nonsense and clap trap, brought to you by Export a Vulture.

Good morning.

He's sitting top a very flattid microphone there.

Yeah, I mean, would it kill you guys? Heared a spanner. Everything's flaccid in here. Everything, every mic is flopping, every camera is tilting.

Every morning we come in here and we have to adjust everything from where it was yesterday despite no one having touched it, just because we're running on the smell of an oily rag. There's never been a studio that would benefit more from a bit of spanner.

Word, is there a like are these some kind of budget Mike stands? Or is this the best?

Is this the best you can buy that for the lot as soon as you screw them once they stripped the screw.

For the longest time, we didn't even have Mike stands. It was like one of them was, you know, the conductors of an orchestra, the little thing they have does that?

You know?

I think we had like a we're a small child in there holding the microphones for a while.

Yeah, what's up with that?

I just saw this footage of Berlin nineteen twenty something like some child, you know, chimney sweeps heating off to work, oh like about four years old, and like, you know how back then it's no matter how old you were.

You wore like a suit and.

A camp doesn't matter if you're a Chimney sweep whatever you went off good.

Yeah, waistcoat? Yeah.

I mean, is at time, with these difficult economic times, to just get kids out of school to hold Mike's stands?

I think the clearest example of this is that you know, children nowadays, because they don't work. What's the most popular game in the world. It's Minecraft.

That's show that you want to work. Kids want to work.

They yearned for the mines and what are they doing. They're building forts. If they get away from Minecraft, then they'll build a.

Couch for it.

Yeah, so they actually they actually want to get into the construction industry.

And who are we to hold them back?

But is there a rising tide of kids playing Chimney sweep games?

No?

No, although I gave up dead Red redemption, yeah, because I was just working for my fucking gang.

I was working. I was working two jobs. I was like, one day just struck me on, well these guys are doing shit. Yeah, I'm working my ass off and it's not even real.

I spent forty hours out in the bush just getting possum furs to sell back in town for fucking three dollars. What am I doing in this game?

Yeah? I was fishing. Yeah, yeah, I was fearying people backing town. I was doing a courier horse courier job for a while.

Bullshit, you're paying hundreds of dollars for the privilege as well. Yeah, it is ridiculous. And kids call it grinding. I've just got a lot of grind to do. They go like, what do you got to do tonight? You said, you kid, I've got some grinding to do in this game. So I just got to get through some stuff. I was like, well, fuck, they've really got you. How about your grind the skids off the toiletvel That is a good point. I saw meme last night. I was talking about Grand theft ato.

There is the game of life that we can play. There's also the Game of the Life, the board game, which isn't that's a pretty good game.

I've only played that once, and I played with Chris Kean another friend of ours, Sam wasted like the day after first of January, like after New Year's anyway, we all blacked out playing the game. We woke up the next morning and had to have a like count back to see who it actually won.

Turns out i'd want, Oh, really, that's awesome.

Did you go to college or did you just go straight into the workforce.

I went straight into the workforce and that worked out for you.

Yeah. I was like, I'm going to the University of Life. And how many kids did you have in the backseat? You've got to have all of them before you can finish, don't you.

Ah?

Yeah, I guess you have four kids? Is it four? Yeah? Three? Or four in the back of the car? Yeah? Whatever it was. We had a boundary count, but a traditional view of the game of life.

It's like this is where you have to have to have a successful life. And they made an updated version betweenty twenty four, like a Woe version of that.

They would be a minefield, the whole thing, the whole thing would be a minefield.

I didn't want to go into it here on this podcast.

Yeah.

Anyway, yesterday we had a big photo shoot for a big TV show that's coming up.

Yeah. Has that been announced? That show? Yes?

Yeah, there's a press release out The ACC does Game of two Halves?

Yeah, so you were me and isn't it? Yep? Gelane's not it. Jilane is not in it.

What what's he done recently?

Yeah? Anyway, I don't know why he's not in it, but he's not. He's not. But Michayla Blide isn't it? Oh my god? So we met.

Yes, So we did the photo shoot yesterday. Laura McGoldrick was there, MICHAELA. Blyde was there. She brought her gold medal with her, because yeah, why the funk wouldn't.

You, He'd bring it everywhere, one of her two gold medals. She didn't bring the other one.

That's a good point, the new shiny one from Paris. We got to hold it just as heavy as you'd think they'd be very heavy.

It's got a bit of the Eiffel Tower in it.

She said, yeah, so they've got a bit of iron steel the Eiffel Tower they took for some maintenance and that's coated with gold.

Had to look at the front head to look at the back.

What I quite liked was the the lanyard thing that it's on was quite worn out. It was like quite dirty. She's obviously been wearing it absolutely everywhere she went.

Yeah, because I held it. Yes, Did you put it around your neck? Yes?

Ah, because I was wondering if you were allowed to put it around your neck like that? What the protocol is on old middle if you haven't earned it. Although I said to Mkayley, you remember I said we earned this because they're all New Zealanders.

Agreed.

She agreed, She said, she said well, and you said, well, she's done on the line, share of the work. And I said, but we've all, we all, it's all, it's all of our gold medal. Yeah, and that's why she wouldn't let me leave with it.

That's what she said as well.

She said, look, yeah, I did all the hard work, all the like sacrifices that I made, but this is this is ours.

She scored more tries in the tournament.

Me, well, that's just a you know, you weren't allowed to play.

Yeah, it's location by us.

Yeah, but yeah, I know I got a photo with it around my neck. I think I'm going to get the rings tattooed now now that I've had the gold medal around my neck. You know, isn't how it works? Yeah? Yeah, once you can hold the gold, once you can feel the steal, tickle that nickel, baby, you get that little patriotic holding it.

Actually, I just about cried.

Yeah, I was trying to hold together in front of her. But yeah, sort of TV show is starting in September.

We filmed that.

But because you know, I haven't done I've been on the odd bullshit TV show here and there, and coincidentally they've all shut down almost immediately after I was a guessed on any of them. But it's interesting to me learning how the whole TV thing worked, and it made me think, like, how did Back of.

The Y work because it aired every week? Yeah, but when you.

Watch those episodes, that didn't seem like something you could just like whip up from week to week.

Yeah.

Well it started off that TV show I made as a sort of Wainsweld situation with me and my mate Chris shooting it and has lounge and going off and shooting stunts, and every week we put it up on Triangle Television.

What was Triangle Television? It was like a.

Just a community television show, a channel where mostly there was just weird stuff on it, like religious programming and stuff. But you could buy a half hour slot for five hundred dollars a week. So I'd work a job and we'd we'd get sponsors and we'd have our show on paying five hundred dollars a week. We'd shoot that week to week and we just had it was like this.

Then he'd go outside.

I'd run them over in a car, and then we'd come back and talk about it. And it got quite popular in a wayns were kind of way, but then we went to TV. Kind of when we went to TV and Z, it kind of had to be better than that. So we shot them all and they were supposed to sort of come out just as we were shooting them. But then wind got news got out that the most offensive and disgusting show of all time had

Like check this out, this is coming out.

Oh yeah yeah, and that went round and then there were questions in parliament that what's the state broadcaster doing broadcasting this? Because my sign off at the end was I've been Danny Parker, see you counts next week, which was quite confronting for for you know, two thousand and two twenty twenty four are probably raising a couple. So but there were questions asked in parliament. So we shot at all and then they were like tv Z said, we're not this is never going to air.

Who was the prime minister then? Was that Jenny Shipley? Did she have to field that?

Actually no, I think it was.

Was it Alen Clark?

Yeah, because it only got on TV in the end because a guy that was sort of an extra on the show Has Auntie was the Minister of Broadcasting so his mum rang up and said, hey, bloody Belinda, he's not on bloody TV. And he was going to be on TV and it was going to sort of shit out and then so she just she just rang up TVZ.

Put it on. It's bloody nephew's my nephew's TV show. Put it on.

And so so it went to year. So but this show, we're making Game of two Halves. You know, there's not as many stunts in it. Hopefully there's not as much fire in it. I mean we're probably not jumping a car through the set and I hope not. And it has to be topical for sports, doesn't it.

Yeah, so that's will be recorded. I think it's livesh.

Yeah, more live than put out at a different moment. Yeah, interesting, here it goes. I'm looking forward to the rising tide of people that go, fuck you, you're ruining the legacy of Game of Two Halves.

Yeah, I'm interested to see that. Let's just go down the line of who was on Game of Two Halves. Matthew Ridge yep, Tony Veitch yep, Martin Devlin yep, Alice mark Ellis and then also Mike King.

Yeah. Wow, that's quite a gallery of individuals, isn't it. That is a sixty six percent cancelation rate.

That is what that is. So yes, it's going to be different. But don't say that we're besmirching the good name of Game of two Halves, you know.

Yeah, we've only had one member canceled so.

Far, and he prehemptively got canceled so he won't be on the sharp. Yeah, he politely got canceled in advance.

Look, guy, don't want to save us all a little bit of it here on. We know which way this is going. Prehemptively canceled myself.

Yeah, So we went out to the Rabbit Warren that was that is sky out there.

I found it funny.

I went into the changing room there and there's a whole James mcconey corner of a wardrobe.

Have you've seen that? Wow, mccaroney's got his own mccony wardrobe. He's been out there for a long time, James McConney, isn't it. Yeah he has.

Yeah, he's actually also been in Paris for a long time now.

Yeah, he's still not back.

They could be back over there for another couple of weeks.

Really off for the Paralympics. No, no, no, I think he's coming.

I think he's just sort of he was when we got over there for the Rugby Will Cup. He'd been there for about five years. He was like finding an.

Explorer that was lost. He picked up an accent.

Yeah, he was speaking to the locals, Is you know, translating for us? Yeah, getting around on the old tube there.

Oh, James McCarney.

Yes, But anyway, I really enjoyed the photo shoot. You said it was quite fun to humiliate ourselves in front of different people this time, and then also obviously to feel the steal that is the gold middle. Yeah, a highlight of my day. Hey, the greatest New Zealander of all time. Debate rages on, But this is actually the last round, last matchup of the first round.

What happened with Richard Hadley v Daniel Vittoria? Heard you and Jeremy talking about it yesterday.

Yeah, this one, I think this one actually was closer than like a few of the landslides that had been before. Richard Hedley did take it out in the end.

Yeah.

I mean Richard Eddley's getting to the point where he's so long ago now that people might not realize how important he was from New Zealand cricket. The concept of us being good at cricket was sort of created with Richard Hadley.

Yeah, and I actually do think that people recognizes that because you know, I never saw him play, but I do, you know, because he's still around.

Everything's named after him.

Yeah, he like, I would have voted for him, despite the fact that Daniel Vittoria was my favorite cricketer growing up until I realized that my name rhymed with Mattia maraa Lutheran, and then all of a sudden, Mania May Lutheran was terrorizing backyards around South Canterbury. But yeah, so I would have. I probably would have voted for Pedals as well. It was funny talking to jerrys today. He is tragically the biggest Headley fan. Yeah.

Yeah, And I was listening to the podcast, was at the gym, and and I was, I know everything that Jerry is going to say next.

Because he he's.

So gone through unrequested, gone through both that dinner, that lunch we were sitting beside Richard Henley and Joaka Yunis and also the like like he brings it up in conversation, like it's like non equitors. Yeah, yeah, yeah, like it's just you'll be talking about like like, oh, sure, should we get some lunch. I had lunch with Richard Hadley and I was it was actually very generous of Stephen Flemy because he placed me between It's like, okay, mate, we know where this is bloody going.

Yeah, Jerry, what's your opinion on what's going on in Palestine? What's funny you say that because last year for seven Sharp I went down when Richard Hadley was selling his house. And but despite that, they're still such good yarns. They're fantastic. It's like when you just it's any dude that's really into a thing and it doesn't matter whether you give a shit about that thing or not. Yeah, if the

Oh wow, how are obos made? I don't have times going to there's the weird read the top a.

So it's got a little squeaky thing that you shove in the obo yep, and then you've got all the bits attached to it.

Well and Funnily enough, depending on where the bits are, the different holes that you cover with the bits of metal, they'll use a different material underneath the holes. So up the top you're going to have rubber and things like that. Further down you live wood. Right down the bottom you might have a little bit of metal there. Who's the person that plays the obo instead of the saxophone?

You've got the opportunity to do play Baker Street or you know, or keele us whisper and it's shopping mall and you go obo like blowing down something.

You were right there, Yeah, you're right there.

You could have been you know, you know Mad Max three Beyond Thunderdome. Yeah, you could be Tina Turners Bloody Saxophone. You could be playing the saxophone solo from Simply the Best. But you're playing the Obo. And what's the most famous OBO song?

Could not tell you? Watch this whole documentary, how long?

I've told the story many times before, desperately hung over the pair of us, and right at the end we're like, sweet, now we know how it's made fire that fucking thing up, and then they cut to credits. We never heard a single note out of the Obo it did my head and to this day, I'm still upset about it. You say, right, why is the saxophone sexy in Obo is not?

Yeah, I don't know. I think sex phone just cuts through.

Yeah, absolutely cuts through, and you know, like cuts through like a guitar solo does on a eighties single.

Yeah, reach out Obo players. But yeah, Richard Hadley did beat Daan to Tory overall. And then today is the last matchup of the first round and it is Constable Keith featuring Sniff versus Herald the Giraffe. Do you have a dog in this fight? Or giraffe?

Constable Keith? And this is my primarily because Snuff is such a good puppet. He've always been a big fan of Sniff, A big fan of Snuff. You love Sniff, I love Snuff. Stuff still traveling around the schools? Is Consortable Keith and Snuff still in operation.

No they're not. They're retired. But you don't have to retire Snuff. Snuff can keep going. He just gets a new Constable.

You know. That's a good But he was already texting to him when he's going around anyway, what.

Matter of Sniff wasn't real? When I yeah, and I always confused.

We had like just the local cop used to come in and talk to us about like stranger danger and things like that, and I was just assumed he was Constable Keith and I was a kid. But then someone was just like, what the fuck could Constable Keith being waymitty.

I got done dirty by cop that came around to our school because it was like, what do you do with this? And I said, that's a zebra crossing. You have to you can cross on the ball butt and he goes, I think us five, And he goes, I think you're old enough to call them a pedestrian crossing. Oh, not a zebra crossing. I was like, mate, if it helps me remember, yeah, I mean I'm five, I can move to Let me live with zebra crossing for a few more years, but there has to be pedestrian crossing.

I'm going back to calling it zebra crossing now. I remember one year the cops had come down from like Timori or wherever to show us a little demonstration that they've been taking around the schools. But they didn't warn us what they were about to do, and so we

Ah. They didn't tell us that that's what they were going to do.

So there was all these school because it was like, oh my god, what the fuck is ethnic? First of all, who's he that just knocked something off the side of me there? And then singing of all, why was he being ripped the bits by a dog? And then he had to come over and explain to us, like, oh, yeah, this is actually and this is how we trained the dogs and whatever.

I was let out of a school assembly once because we've been talked to by a cop. And he brought out his handcuffs to show the thing. Oh, and I put up my hand and I said, can you cuff mister Lets the principal? Yeah, miss Lets, but the calf's on the principal for a whole laugh.

Yeah, and the school laughed. It was got a good joke. It was a room laugh.

Calf the mister Watson's name, And then I got bloody collared and taken out by a teacher. Oh so that's descent. I don't know, it's just a bit of jocularity, but I think for me, I just remember being so excited whenever I'd see the Harold school Bush. Yeah right, there was just something so cool about it. I keep going it was like sitting in a movie theater.

Yeah.

Yeah. It was also like a day or a half day off school. Yeah, so interesting to see how that goes. I'm tem Harold. Yeah, your team Constable Keath snuff. Yeah, more sniff than Constable Keith. I'm not because I've got anything gainst Constable Keith. It's just because you love sniff. I was just really snuff focused on don't hear a weird Cunstable Keith still arkwad sniff focus can be of

To take out of if I could. Yeah, okay cool.

Top ranked tennis player Yannick Cinner has tested positive twice for an anabolic steroid in March, but will not be suspended because the International Tennis Integrity Agency determined the band performance enhance that entered his system unintentionally through a massage from his physiotherapist.

So its physiotherapists massively on the antabolic sterois and they just came through the fingers.

Sinner said his test results happened because as fitness trainer purchased an over the counter spray AH to give to Sinner's physiotherapist to try to cut on the physiotherapist's finger. The physiotherapist then treated sinnate while not wearing gloves.

Wow, that has convoluted.

They these excuses become more and more convoluted every time you hear them.

Done that. Yeah, and your last name sinner. So is there because there's there's.

Something there's a word for, I can't remember it where your your name can actually manifest behavior in you. Oh really yeah, I'd have to look into it more.

But isn't it like a bush. Heath is where the word heathen comes from.

It's a heath is like the areas that are around villages that were just sort of rubbish.

Oh so outside the parish is the heath. Yeah, so like you like you've got a village and then just a heath.

Yeah, and so that the people that didn't have people that the heath didn't have tribes. There were just people that raided villages. They were sort of like I guess you call philistines. Yeah, yeah, so they were heathens. Like if you were heathen, it meant that you had no home and you just basically attacked anyone that came near you, kind of like Tuscan raiders from Star Wars. Yeah, the heath, Yeah, they'll be back and the stronger numbers yeah kind of thing. Yeah, yeah,

Nah, screw you.

I was around at Mum's house. I was in the bathroom. I thought they were aspirin. They turned out to be steroids.

Because what I don't understand is it never happens outside of this context. It only ever happens to professional athletes. No one's ever like, yeah, I bought some over the counter supplements and then I.

Got way too jacked. You know what I mean. You don't accidentally get better.

You're like at work man, you get your performance review and they go, you are really killing it. Yeah, well I accidentally came across some steroids in Mun's bathroom.

And then yeah, that's just not how it works. But I just love that there's always some sort of like, ah, I had a curry at a restaurant that I've never been to before, a googly corma if you will.

But you know, you can take steroids, You can take all these things because you're not a professional athlete. Have you ever thought about that just getting in super enhanced. I know they've got their nt enhance games coming up yep, where people are going to be allowed to take steroids and such. And in fact, in that movie chorus that was interesting, you know, like when he was like, well, how fast can I actually go if I take if I get on the drugs at Lance Armstrong was on.

That's austhistic and he couldn't do it. He didn't get that much faster.

Actually no, but he did uncover an entire Russian plot out the back end of it.

You'd be gutted when you But would you ever.

Consider just taking steroids to just get absolutely freaking jacked?

I allegedly reportedly may or may not have known some people who knew some people who got on the steroids back in the day, and for some reason they were they were injecting each other in the ass with this with these steroids. Allegedly reportedly, Yeah, they'd go down this river bed to do it, right. I was like, why not just do it at home? It's not like is it actually illegal or is it just the legal and competition?

Yeah, I mean maybe it's illegal in the way that you have to get it signed off at you know, like if you're competing, Yeah, yeah, you no, No, but I mean, like in like over the counter, it's right, you know, it's not it's not you know, it's on the shelves by Yeah. I was going to say, it's like, yeah, no one's going to tiss you if you just walk into the local pub more jack than anyone.

Else, you know.

Yeah, And I was like, why did you go allegedly? Why did you guys go down to the river bed? And why not just do it in your room at your flat? He goes, well, where would you have tonight?

Yeah?

Yeah, And why do they have to be in the ass, Like it sounds like sounds like someone's taking someone down the river bed to inject them in the ass.

They can't do it in the arm. It has to be in the ass. What he goes doing down there steroids stewards. But yeah, no, yeah, that's that's a good idea. But doesn't it like ruin your body otherwise, you know what I mean, Like, yeah, you're going to be mean at that.

Yeah, but you get terrible winky shunkage. Yeah.

I think I think I think Adam's nodding his head, So I think there's a lot of people Adam knows. I think it's a lot a lot of because you're going to get some kind of profect Like I'm not going to let I'm not going to lean into winkie French Shrunkagesia gives me a gold medal if.

You know what I mean. Yeah, yeah, that's right, Like I'm not the.

Rewards for me getting jacked aren't good enough to risk the winky shrunkage?

Is there an inverse steroids that would waste away all of your muscles? They give you a real hog, like the opposite of anabolic steroi. We're just like, jeez, he is withering away. He can barely lift a spoone.

He looks terrible, but a shower Jesus Christ.

What I'm hearing is it's got lungs. But yeah, anyway, he's been done with the steroids. He's got a bit of Winki shrivilege going on there, just on the wires obviously. The last game this weekend, Tima Putter. Bailey's son has Aaron Clark. He's been playing for the Titans for about five six years and he's coming to the Warriors next year. Ye yeah, that's about the reaction I had as well. Oh sweet, Yeah, this isn't gonna shift the needle for us.

I like that.

Yeah, it's one of the you know, one of the weavy signings. That's the direction that the club wants to go into. Are you are you out for the Shawnee j Sam celebration. I am. It's going to be myself and Tony Lyle, Tony sweet little Lyle. Yeah, we'll be commentating live from the box next door to the away coach, which is Cameron Sirealdo for the Bulldogs. We apparently have

Yeah. Right, so you can flick it off her on.

So a couple of weeks ago, the last game they did out there, the coach one of the lights off so that when the cameras zoomed in on him, the reflection would stop them from being able to be seen. Ah right, yes, So the acc team had to commentate in the dark.

But I might just flick the lights on. I think, flick them on, do it? I mean, what's the best moment to do it? Like, so he's upset, yes, and then you.

Also turn the lights off.

Yes, so you time it perfectly so he looks down and you go boom and the lights I think you go. Stoney's on scene, yeah, Stone cold knock on Yeah from the Bulldogs.

Yep. You can hear them blowing up.

You see the camera come up, bam on and he's camera serato just throwing his toys.

I can't believe I've forgot.

And what's the Canterbury coach tiever record last year? Tree Barrett no main coach. No, he's just been signed up again for the rob Pinny. He he would have loved to have that light off.

Yes, he was.

Upset with how long they were lingering on him. They're lingering on him and you see his arm reach up. He just flicks the light off, even.

The shut off. Yeah yeah. Bus and cricket news as well. There is a new T twenty world record. It is for the most runs scored all conceded, I guess and over some war's and.

Forgive me here.

This is quite a long Someone name Darius Visser has broken the Idea ODI record for the most runs in an over.

He scored thirty nine.

This record has been broken about three times in the last six months, it seems. This was in an ODI look can we call it an odeo? It was between Somemour and Vanuatu. The over went vustly six six, six one, but a no because it was a no ball six dot ball.

Fuel thank you for getting that. The overs coming back on track dot.

Ball, no ball six and also a no ball and then another six wow to finish on thirty nine.

Did you see the wicket they're playing on? Though?

It's like one of those artificial right, you know, European League ones, the kind of thing you see down in the domain in Auckland or anywhere people are playing last man's stands spray painted outfield. But can you imagine that? Because I've been carted around in an ACC game. I think I went for twenty four and that's just embarrassing

People back in the mangroves your ball again, it's.

Like and then you just go and then you just go, look, I'm gonna try and bowl it away from the person.

Yeah. And then there's a wide and so now you've got to do it again. Yeah, then again, and then and then you.

Turn to the umpire and you're like, how many to companies like two.

Ow yeah, and then and then you realize okay, well and then you maybe your bowl and noble and you go, well, I just let's finish the open. Just gonna one bounce and through to the keeper. And then of course you just sit it up again. It gets whackah. But there's a great picture here of the two players, yes, the Vanauatuan who got absolutely smoked. Yes, and Darius Visser someone. Yes, he's they're happy together, like he's there. You know you

Up, and the van and gentleman's wearing a backpack in the photos. He's out of it, very grass. He was trying to leave. He's trying to leave.

So actually this photo is under jurious. Yeah it is, say thirty nine runs. I mean it is beata ball technically, I mean anything's beatable with the number of no balls.

Either does.

But I can't say. Having said that, I said that the last two times it was broken in the last few months, So I don't know. But I think what this is and you're going to see a lot of it over the next few years. These are teams trying to qualify for the Olympics, right because someone and Van haven't had like a proud history of cricket, but all of a sudden, now that it's at the Olympics, it's like shit, someone's got to qualify the Oceania field behind us.

Who's it going to be?

Of course, yeah, I presume that's how it works. Actually don't know. All right, let's take a quick break. When we come back, I've got a half back sports idea for you, and then I want to debut a brand new segment as well, exciting.

Half ba sports idea.

I've been going to the gym quite a bit lately. If you can probably tell just to look at me, do you reckon?

You could get with your just to go back and she's going back before the break, but you reckon you back yourself to not get hit by for six sexes by someone international.

No, you don't know, all right, I don't.

Just after my performance at the de Luxe Trade's Living, I don't think I could do it.

You gotta look, you gotta wicke it. I gotta work out, but endless wrongings.

I gotta work it from the endless onslaught of wrongings because you were chirping and the whole time being like, surely he's not gonna b five consecutive wrong And I was like kind of talking to you as like very wrongs in a row. Yeah, I can't believe it. Four wrong, five wrongs. And then I eventually got the guy out.

But he didn't know is that you can only bowl a right and I only have the wrong.

But the thing is how I know I would get Carter is because Hamish or James, I don't know. Marshall was the next man up after I took that work at smashed me straight off there. So I was like, but so I bowled it, he smashed it and before it even cleared the boundary, he goes, fuck was that a wrong?

It was still in the air. I was like, yeah, sort of.

Anyway, my halfback sports idea for today, I've been going to the gym quite a bit. Yeah, it's by the way, people at home probably get the gym too. At the gym I go to, there is a woman's only area, and I know there are women only gyms as well, and I understand why because like, on the one hand, there are a lot of creepy dudes around at the gym.

I had this experience of the gym that's kind of similar that yesterday because there was this real skinny kid basically at my gym, and he was taking so long on on what I was about to lift. What was it, not that it matters. I think it was the seeded rose. And then I came over and he's skinny, little guy, and I was judging him for just spending so much

And then I get up. I clean the thing down to a bit clean.

And then the next next guy that sits down and goes as I'm walking away, he goes.

Shit, man, you're really fucking lifting something that's right. Yeah, that does one hundred percent an unethical life at at the gym. When you finished crank that motherfucker up for the next guy to frut. Wow, Wow, that guy would not have picked that. Look look at that piece of shit. Yeah, that's more than he weighs. For sure, there's no way he could have been doing that. Yeah, but wouldn't it be great to work out in the world where you didn't have to do that?

Yeah?

Yeah, where everyone else is just as much of a limp that pass of shit as you are.

What about a bonus VIP area that's absolutely top secret and the weights are way lighter.

Oh, but the same numbers written on it, same numbers.

So people are looking from the other side in that VIP area and you have to get in there. It's its top secret situation, and they're looking over they go, Jesus Christ, my night is fucking pumping some tin.

He has the strength to wait ratio of an ant look at him? Four hundred kilos.

Mean like, meanwhile, two of the weight it's a polystyrene.

Yeah, one of them's hollow but filled with helium. So it's actually I'm actually pulling it down off the ceiling. You just want to go to the gym hardercent focused on not bettering yourself, but it's pressing, pressing strangers.

Making life easier for yourself.

Yeah, but yeah, that's my that's my half bake sports idea. Not just women only areas, but weak dudes as well. They should have their own area too because it's curves. Is the woman's only gym?

Yeah? Right? Posse or something.

Limp week week yeah, weeks weeks weeks the gym. All right, brand new segment that I wanted to debut today, and we have a sting for it. We'll put this in in post production.

I can't wait to hear it. Check out the magic of this thing. It's time for an agenda master beat.

Yeah that was a good thing. Eh, that's great like that. As I said, this is matt he the mass debate. Oh yes, it's It's something that I would love.

Yeah, thank you.

It is something that I would like to debate with you today. I'd presumably have different answers. I don't think we'll be against each other. But the master debate today is you get one million dollars for every year that you take off the end of your life. How many years would you take off your life?

Wow? A couple of.

Caveats first, as you don't know when you're going to die. Yeah, that's true, so you might take ten million dollars and just drop dead.

Yeah, you can't have so it's kind of like one of those insurance things. You can't have a pre existing condition. No, no, no, no, no, yeah, right, I guess that doesn't really matter, No, but it does percent as years because I'm older than you, so I've got less left, so each one of mine will be a bigger deal to me kind of. Although equally I could say, well I've had a good run. Yeah, but yeah, well yes, but I don't. You're not going to take off, you know, but how good.

Is ninety to one hundred? That terrible? Terrible?

I mean you're still around, but yeah, it's the quality of life ninety to one hundred. Although my dad's eighty and he's in great condition, he's he's living his best life.

So you also don't know that.

But also once you give away that, see, because the thing is having that money will take that time off your life anyway, because you're just going to go hard, right.

So that's a great point. I don't thought about that.

Yeah, so you suddenly take ten years off your life. Taking ten years off your life for ten million dollars will take ten years off your life.

So I'm actually taking twenty. You gotta be careful not to take twenty. Yeah, that's right.

Yeah, it depends how the magic works. It would be exponential as well. Yeah, five years would take five years off, ten years would take like twenty. If you took twenty years off, you.

I'd like to know. I mean, they say, you got eighty, you're going to go out at eighty.

Yeah, I don't think i'll make adie, but yeah.

And then and then you go, okay, well I'll give up five and go out at seventy five.

I'll probably give up ten, go out at seventy.

Yeah.

Yeah, But I mean, as you say, it's difficult if you don't know exactly, because you're like, I'll give up five, and they go, well, you're done, because you're were going to do your schedule for a.

Heart attack in four years. I was scheduled for a heart attack thirty eight. So now I'm just out of youd just see it. I think five for me. I was crunching a few numbers this morning, and that's what happened in the Twilight Zone. The devil comes and offers you that, Yeah, I'll give you ten million dollars for every year that you take off the end of your life and you go, sweet, I'll be one hundred million dollars.

Wow, Actually, funny enough, you just dropped head, right then where'd you pencil do in for next? And then they hand you the money and you're like plant. You go back to your house and you're playing with the money, and then you just dropped head and then you go all right, I see that's good. Is the Twilight Twilight Zone still going? Anyone listening? We make that episode? We made that episode is a good one.

TVNZ we'll get another idea for a TV show, and we don't sign off by calling your own counts.

Yeah.

Yeah, Like I said a resident numbers guy at the ACC, I was crunching the numbers, if you put five million dollars into a term deposit, I think you'd get somewhere in the neighborhood two hundred.

And fifty K a year as a salary, right.

I presume you'd get your eyeballs gouged out by tax at that point. But that's that's a good starting point. I feel like that's fine five years. Those last five years would have sucked anyway.

Yeah.

For me, I don't think I'll make it to eighty. So yeah, even if I did, you take that down to seventy five. Yeah, fine, what are you going for? So I've settled on five.

I reckon five. It's about right. I'm gonna go five as well. Yeah. Ten's a lot, Seven's not round. No, it's gonna be around. I mean you could just do you could just do a cowardly one.

Yeah, and you know powerful mortgage.

That'd be pretty boring, pretty all right. So we're both settled on five. I think that's Yeah, it's been about the consensus. I think Joe Jerry settled on that as well.

And yeah, I mean the best thing is you make it to one hundred and like shit, you're going to be the oldest person in the world.

I would hate it.

No, if I made it to one hundred, I'd be like, fuck, I could have taken like twenty here.

Yeah, we're saying, yeah, yeah, you'd be still a glass half empty guy.

Yeah, really on your eighty first birthday, like grandad, what are you upset? So I'm still going I'm supposed to. I couldn't take I could have taken more money. Yeah, every year I'm losing money here every year.

I love is now costing me a million dollars. That's what you need to understand, kids, Yeah, casting us, Yeah.

A million dollars.

So yeah five, all right, let us know on the old voicemail function what you think where you would settle on on the mass debate? How many for every If you've got a million dollars for every year taking off your life, how long would you take off your life?

We're not to sing on the head for today.

And we'll be back tomorrow for a Thursday episode of the Gender podcast give them a Taste of Kiwi.

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