Live from the Export Beer Gun Studio and brought to us always by Export Ultra, the beer for here. This is the Agenda Podcast for Wednesday, the sixteenth of October.
The Agenda Podcast, the home of Sporting Nonsense and clap Trap, brought to you by Export Ultra.
And we're running the Three Man Weave this morning. G Lane and Matt Heath joins.
Us for a Wednesday.
It's great to be here, our team fantastic. It's great to have you back down here.
Yeah.
I hope you've followed in the footsteps of the great Layton Smith and you've taken your dump down on the ground floor with us before you head out to the rarefied ear of ZB.
Well.
People don't know how the things used to go down at the Cook Street office when I first started radio Lateton Smith. You didn't like to go on on on the around z B. He didn't want to soil his own nest. Yeah, come down with that newspaper under his arm, Come out of the elevator, go straight into our toilets. Yeah, absolutely destroy them, and then head back up the elevator to get on with this day.
Yeah. A newspaper's a statement of intent.
I mean he wasn't.
He wasn't there for he was there for a good time, not a short time.
Yeah, so he would just sit down and get through the classifieds everything.
I mean, it's the ultimate insult to music radio.
It was also old school. It was herold when it was a broadsheet. You know, it was the huge one. It was, so.
He's you might see a like a spy, an old cold war spy with a glass.
It was that one of those big ones. You could hid your whole face behind me. I see the newspaper. I've always found the newspaper very difficult to read from a functional standpoint. My day when his struggles with the broadsheet newspaper, Well, there are any Sundays now these days, which and.
You're shift shipping a lot that you're never going to read, Like in terms of efficiency and newspapers, you might want to read the sport, but there's a whole lot of stuff at the front. I'm not going to even look at it.
But you're paying for it, paying for all of it, I think.
And then and then there's the classified ads and the magazines you want those, all the magazines that come farting out of it when you pick it up. What about in London on a on a of a Sunday or a Saturday.
Jesus, I came with CDs, the newspaper with all these freak multiple CDs would fall out.
Do they still run the tabloids over there? Because that blew me away. When I went over to England and you saw Teddies on the third page, Teddies on the third page, and I was like, I was on the two three.
I was like, really okay, yeah, you go over there and.
You're gonna be I'm gonna be reading these sophisticated newspapers. I'll be the Observer, the Telegraph, I'll be the Guardian, and then two days then you're on the Sun.
And the headlines that they put on, the salacious headlines.
It's too juicy.
It's like trying to eat the proper newspapers is trying to eat a salad when someone's offering you a burger, a juicy, juicy, greasy burger, and some for a case, yeah, a.
CAFC and then the salad. Yeah, you know what's good for you. You can't help yourself. It's just it's always like I bonk my cousin and now my mum.
You know, yeah, and then it's like inflation could be a tip to go up by two basis points twenty basis points. You're like, what was that thing about the hasn't it I sleep with my dog? Is that okay?
Yeah?
I cheated on my cousin with my dog. It's so Yeah.
People say social media is bad now, and then we're getting our brains rotted by on the internet, and brains have been being rotted for forever.
Our brains are gone, they were gone years ago.
They don't even that, And I reckon those tabloids are worse for athletes, mental health and what happens on social media?
Yeah, because that was way.
Worse and you knew that everyone was watching it is when you get a DM you just got it. Meanwhile, they're like, you know, Sonny Bell's done so and so on a toilet with David Warner's future wife. Yeah, you know, it's like Jesus, that's so much worse. Yeah, they'll still be talking about it on podcasts ten years later, especially for Davy Warner. That whole thing, what rough, what going forward? What is in the maxim mentioned?
What's fighting up?
The listeners on news dogs zi'db this week.
Not my Dodger's chat. I'll tell you what me talking about. I know you throw it out there.
I can only be me. And look, I've boord the ship out of people on Hodaki and the A c C.
With podcast, this very podcast, and I'm going to stop.
I'm not going to stop. But yeah, currently the National League Championship Series between the Mets and the Dodgers. First game, we absolutely smoked them. Second game, they absolutely smoked us. So there you go.
They're not loving that on ZI. But I tell you what it doesn't. It doesn't excite people Dodgers cham what excites are the most.
I was talking you say that had the lines really going because they're kind of it's quite a male audience. So I was talking about boys trips and I was saying, I was saying the protocol. I was saying, a great time is when a when a stag doo runs into the hen's party, especially if you're one of the single guys.
Oh yeah, yeah you're not.
So we're not doing the cross at the streams cross party in a but it's also but random hen's parties a corresponding I think the corresponding hen can be an advantage for the for the groom because because because it can stop him spending his whole marriage and with a sense of.
Shame explaining what's happened.
But I'm saying, if you're a hanger on a stag d you maybe third or fourth mate back and and it crosses path with the hen patty, then that's a good time to be middle of them. And that got eight hundred and eighty ten. They've got the cause.
Go did it?
Yeah?
I met my wife that way and a lot of you're not on hurdaching now shut up.
I heard I heard Jerry on there spoke in the book, Yeah, which was good. It gave you a bit of advice around from Sheeryl Wells. Yeah, lady Sheryl gave you a bit of advice she.
Wells when I was enjoying enjoying my shame. But she says, let some more woman on. Yeah, and I let anyone.
And he rightly said, eighty you welcome on, lady ryl put your money with your mouth.
Doesn't come on?
We need we need guess what about on stagger the guy who gets way too excited and particularly where I know this go the.
Father Oh, the fathers are a problem. On stag, do they. Yeah, they have to keep their cool well, and you can't be having Yeah.
It's it's a tough one because something you know, a lot of people, a lot of the guys won't know the dad. They won't know how he likes to get down, They don't know what he knows about them. Yeah, but I have heard stories of, for example, the bachelor being stripped down and put had a like a collar or a leash put around him, and then each of the members of the stag who were taking turns peddling him.
And then once the game was over, they turned around and the father was back and there for another and it was like, all right.
Yeah, you know that he will, Yeah, he'll peddle you.
The doctor lay, oh yeah, he got stuck into me right, No, I was talking about someone else.
But they're having at yours as well. I mean that's good. I mean that's good behavior from the dad. But the dad can't get too feverishly into it.
He can't be the hit of the pack.
The dad, the father in law, father in law can't get a hit of the pack.
Do you know that the other most dangerous you got them their pole position, The other most dangerous p at a stagdoo and wedding is the last person to get married.
So you know two months earlier, if you mate Dave got married.
He's been through all that stress, he's been through the stagg, He's gone through his wedding, and he targets the next function.
He's avengeful.
Yeah, he's got a lot of vengeful and so he's come out of his stressful wedding, has come out of punishment for his mates and everything, and he's the next weddings two weeks later.
The staggdoo, he is.
He's smarting from a couple of speeches at the wedding.
You're the ones you've got to worry about.
They are coming in and eyeing you up because because you you know, you absolutely bankrupted him, you know, on the top shelf at the wedding.
Yeah, I did this to a good friend of everyone's here, Jason win Stanley who's radio here down at range. Yeah, and it was costing him a fortune. And he had been at my wedding yelling at me your past laying.
So I was it great, great eccent.
So I was at his and I remember seeing him and he had hawks Bay pills there and everything that was quite good craft beer on tap. And I saw him the other side of the room and he was getting punished, and I opened the beer and I was out in the garden and I was just tipping it into the garden and looking at him, and then I was getting another one and tipping it into the garden and you can see him going.
Oh boy, Craigie range reding that out. That's bankrupting. That's basically as the red goes down, your bank balance goes down.
Admittedly, at that wedding, no one, no one was on the dance floor except me and another gentleman called Paul Flynn, who ended up sharing barstools and throwing them through our legs. Then we put a stack of barstools up like a tower, and then I covered it and covered the dance floor and beer, and I slid Paul Flin across the dance fell and knocked down all the chairs.
Another type of person you don't want at your wedding, or stag do as a glay.
It's a spirit specific type of person.
You don't want a glay.
You're right though, because as an unmarried man, I am aware of keeping my head down that stag those because you know yours is coming, so you can't because that's the other thing. If you're the first dude to bust out a shock collar or something and you haven't had yours yet, Yeah, you just know it's all coming back to haunt you.
What I did to Dave get I'm gonna say his name, but what we David Gibson, No, let's say lose another the ruggy player, Dave Gibson, not the muso Daryl Gibson.
No Dave. Anyway, let's not worry about it.
Let's not give us name.
What we did to him should never be done to wasn't good. There was a lot of hot pizzas strapped to him with with with gaffer tape, and then anyway he ended up. He didn't know that we were putting him live on television, on a live TV show, so he got unwrapped.
Anyway, it wasn't good. Everyone lost their way.
I think if men spend too much time together in a pack, this is the acc happens with us as well. Things get feverish. Yeah, things get out of control. Well that's way crossing swords or the hints. But it can be quite good, Yeah, Logan O'Connor.
We put a shot collar on him crossing streams down there in Central Otaga. There were no hensters to be seen, none in Central Otaga to cross swords with, but we and then made him harvest honey from a live bee hive for the with a shot collar on. He came back and everyone was hiding the remote for the shot collar, and it just drove him mad because he didn't know
who was shocking him. In the end, he found Jared Graham with the thing in his hair and fucking clocked him, just clean clocked him three afternoon.
It's not good when the when the groom starts crying, no, you've gone too far. You know.
When I had a couple of walk offs, I've had a couple of I've had a couple of stag walk offs.
Yeah, well, it's such a fine line because I don't I'm not one of the ones who's like, let's get this guy so wasted he can't remember anything. But I know that a lot of people are. I'm like, this needs to be a good time. I had to fail
at the last stagg do I went to. We went to the wy Medi Rodeo and I tried to get the stag into the radio and to the Yeah, I at least wanted because I was trying to explain to the guy at the radio, I just want him to think you're going to let a beast out into the arena with him.
You don't have to, but I just need a moment of him thinking you're about to release a ball into the pen.
He's just the sniff of pure terror.
Yeah, And he was like, you know, we're pretty severely under the microscope here as a radio association.
We don't want to. We don't want to.
We don't want to be the news. We don't want to be on the front page of the paper tomorrow.
We don't want some half us podcasts to getting his mate into the fucking rodeo, because.
We've got a bit on point that's such a good point.
Last night we went to the launch of the Great New Zealand Teoff YEP, which for those who don't understand how it works, lay well, it's.
What it is.
Is a one hundred and ninety golf clubs around New Zealand have donated at least two tea times for free to the Great New Zealand Teoff and they put them up for auction. There is golf courses all around New zeal Like some actually some pretty mean golf courses as well. In there you've got Kinlock Golf Course in Topaur, which is Jack Nicholson design Jack Nicholas. Which one's that Jack Nicholas. Anyway, there's some great courses. So one hundred ninety courses donated it.
You go on, you just bid whatever you want and it's alive for three weeks. Every single dollar goes to the November Foundation. And when when you buy your tea time you've got a week to redeem it in the great New zeal On tee off at the end of November for one week.
Because last year it all happened on the exact same time, yes, that same day. But they've opened it up a little bit now. But you can go.
You can get some great little courses. It's these country courses. There's big city courses. Heaps down the Rustly down in christ Church. There is Jack's Point in Queenstown to today, yeah, and there's Royal Auckland, there's the Grange. There's some amazing courses. Anyway, it's all donated. It's all for a good cause and
to get on there. Anyone who bids as well goes in the drawer to when you and three mates to play at Tiado thinks and you get to stay the night, you get to have dinner and get to be hosted by the ACC and November teams as well.
Out there. That's a pretty mean prize. Yeah, it is a pretty mean prize. And also my next question who who from?
They?
Who from? Is going to go on that? They'll need you'll need people from the a c. Yeah, yeah, you had a few people. Yeah, we will play golf. Probably would need to come out.
But for the details to get onto to bid for anything, text t t ee to three two three six. You'll see all the courses on there. It's easy as it's Gala bid. It's the vollet have got behind it. It's the Valet Great New Zealand Tea off the Great New Zealand Golf brand, a local golf brand who are competing with the big dogs of the world, which is which is awesome to see as you were involved. Alternate commentary. We're involved. We're involved. Last year for the inaugural year.
They have seventy five grand last year, which is a pretty good start. So aiming for one hundred grand this year. So if you're into golf. If you're into golf, it is a great excuse also because you get three mates together to if you tell you your other half charity, I'm doing this charity thing. Yeah, I've got to do
this charity golf thing this weekend. And if you, if you look at it, you can actually have a whole weekend if you, you could probably get four rounds in in some like regional courses and just go on a roady. And it's for charity. I'm doing this for I have to do this for charity. It's about men's health. I don't want to. I'd rather be at home. I'd rather be at home. But I've got to catch up with with Maniah and Matt and Jerry. We haven't seen each other for at least a couple of days, and we
need to talk through a few things. Man I's going through some things. You know, I can't talk to you about it, but yeah, he wants to keep it secret. Matt, you know he's going through some things as well which we can only and yeah and when.
When and look, he just needs a really massive hangover in two days of drinking just to deal with it.
That's the only way to deal with way to deal with it. And so we're at the launch last night, and the launch was at a driving range. There was Dan Carter was there, Dezzy was there, Dizzy as they call him, and so we were doing the long drive competition. I didn't really know what I was in for when we went out there. I thought I knew it was the launch.
The thing.
He goes, right, this is obviously fundraiser long.
Drive competition, amazing prizes up for golden Eddy desk, Dan Carter, limited edition boots signed as well, signed, all sorts of stuff, vollet stuff as you were anyway, all that for grabs. He goes one hundred bucks five golf balls. You hate your five balls, You go on the chance to win, sending the woman a bit of a tight financial spot at the moment. I don't know if I've got one
hundred dollars the thing. But then he starts walking around the room with the f POS machine and I'm like, fuck, if Dan Carter walks up to me with a so much, I'm a hundred bucks. So I'm now going to have to go back and tell them, yeah, look, we're at a hundred bucks.
I'm sorry.
I know I told you I had to work late last night, but we're actually at one hundred bucks.
So I got it. I got embroiled in this dance where I was just sort of he got me, he cornered me. He got me. And you can't say no to Dan Carter. Dan Carter thrust the f pox machine in your face.
I mean you're going to stay away from Dan Carter? Yeah, I mean.
The worst thing was it was for the longest drive, and then the guys in the bays next to us, one of them was from His name was Josh Ferness, and there was another guy out from Windross.
He's from.
And they.
Were heading drives three hundred plus.
It was heading the back net and at one stage I said, had it harder, you pussy, and he did, and he hit it three and twenty and then he dropped it off the tee and started hitting it off the carpet the same distance. And then I said, you can't go on the longest drive because I've just paid one hundred bucks, and and then he goes, okay, I'll hit it right handed because he was left handed, and he hit it further than I had it. I was like right, fuck you guys. Yeah, and so Dizzy made
two divisions. He made the three hundred plus guys do their own thing. They just won a pack of tea, so that was the hackers, and then the hackers had their own one way.
They won the golden boots.
So that's that's more. Yeah, anticipation trophies. I get it. You're lowering the standards getting.
A good tip around the slices.
Yeah.
Yeah, they were pushed that bottom man rather than really pro used my son that one because he was hitting it now and he was like, it was like he was playing a flick off the legs.
I was trying to explain it to him and then I was like, no, obviously still swing. Yeah, he was just.
A much to work on for t to three two three six. Get involved. It's a great cause, Ollie who runs it. It's a great New Zealander and it's all for a good course.
And you're going to play golf the next few weeks anyway, so might as well be for this. All right, quick break and we'll come back and maybe talk some sport.
A gentleman.
The black Caps, if you can believe this, they're playing a game of cricket today. Yeah, five o'clock. It kicks off pissing with rain in India against it, is it?
Yeah?
I think that's why I got sent a message with the picture of the rain pissing down and our favorite Indian town Bangalore.
Bangalore. No, well, back of my hand, m Yeah it's pussing down specially Rettz Bangalore. Yeah, it's about it. And the bar next to it.
Was this.
The poll was this.
Yeah.
Swimming was the in the pool, in the infinity pool, it was He was.
Like a crocodile sneaking up on its prey.
Yeah. Gelane was the sickest man. Gelane was so stuff with snot for the whole time we were over there.
It was just gross. It was gross. I shouldn't have been flying. How did you end up in the same pool as Coli?
Well I didn't. I didn't organize that. I just went down for a swim in the pool with massive hangover and he was playing for the Reyal challenges being a law at that time. They're kind of stuck in their hotel and is the flashiest hotel and so we're in the same hotel. They can't really leave, so they're just floating around, you know, and even even it can be a bit stressful for them to go down to the
restaurant because people handle them. But so I got up quite early raging king over and went down for a swim, and there was it was Coalie taking pictures of himself under a fountain, yeah, with his girlfriend, with his girlfriend. Yeah, he was doing some kind of Instagram shoot. Yeah, it was.
So I started up about as close I could get, and the I urinated in the water and then in.
This swim off.
So you've passed on Coli.
Hopefully some of it got on him. No offence that big fan, big fan, But that was the only way I could really. I think most of them got on yourself. It's all over me. But you know, how do you show respect without invading their privacy, you know, going up and asking for a picture or a signature or something. Just swim past and just just spraying.
Drag drag punts a bunch of urine on them. That was after we destroyed for Torre's room as well.
Yeah, that was that was disrespectful. Yeah, it wasn't so much.
A room as a top floor of apartment was a suite. That was I've never seen a sweet, this big. It had multiple rooms. I reckon the toilet was the size of this room. Here the shower area and yeah where there was a lot of disrespect being shown.
Yeah, there was so much disrespect, mainly by Tim Southing.
It's a different world over there, how famous those dudes are and we don't realize it.
Well, I don't think you get it.
You get a taste of it because we were just white faces that left the hotel and we were getting mobbed like we were cricket players. Oh really, and da jury got confused for Ed Sheeran having to be touring at the same time.
But I've seen that heaven.
But it was It's crazy to get just take getting followed and people filming you.
But like we just really you just some guys, although maybe they knew that you had passed on Colie.
Yeah, they wanted to get some of that that, you know, that's as close to the living of the Merjo. Yeah.
Yeah. How many people do you think of pissed on rat Cully?
Yeah? Well, to be fair as well, I don't know who.
I mean, you don't know what he's what he likes. I don't know what he likes. No, it could be people.
Yeah, that's true. Actually, I don't think it is. I don't know.
Colie's to himself. There's no way he would allow he Look, let's just say it was a real to be in a pool with them. Yeah, yeah, it should.
We clip this thing about Heath passing on Colie, I reckon the gang bus.
That's a great idea. Yeah, that's a great idea. That's going to go well. To be fair, it's not true. No, I was going to win in the pool anyway.
Yeah, well it's too late because I think that we clipped that. But when you say you pissed on rat Coley, I think that'll.
Just you guy. I think you guys said that I did. I just said that I was in the pool and people getting out. I had a trible hang him.
It's not true.
But in the interests of bump our numbers up, just for the clip, can you say I pissed on for it at college?
I don't.
I don't think I'm that dumb. I might get that dumb, but I don't think I'm not quite that.
Just for the video, just said that we got this film. Hey man, have you pissed on vert College?
Didn't you?
Yeah?
The front Ye five pm today. But I got things wrong yesterday talking about the White ferns. I see they're going to play England a sure thing in the semi England being knocked.
Out upset and England got knocked out by Sri Lanka.
Yeah, Wendy's are now playing the White fans in the semi.
Great news.
Great news because we were England's bunny recently and so and I think you got to say, look, did we did we make our away in there? Ordered Pakistan just drop so many catches that they sent us through. They were like the a c C eleven the amount of catches they we dropping.
They dropped eight. And that's why not professional sports paper. We dropped eleven, and we dropped eleven and no one's proud of that that eleven. But Pakistan national woman's cricket team dropped eight catches.
You see the catchers, Yeah, they were the easiest catchers. I there was some difficult catches in the accleven one running forward over the head, carry.
On running forward, so it went over your head, appeared that you never could have caught it.
And those ones that weren't even counted and drops, No, it was a shock that was it was not, It was not, It wasn't pretty white.
We didn't take a single catch?
Could I just say that?
Know?
We didn't, And I actually think the actual numbers closer to fifteen, and I know that Joel Harrison was responsible for at least eight. But what should also be recorded as drop catchers, as the ones that would have been caught by anyone in their twenties that we didn't even run for.
Be considered a drop catch too. Well, we never even got near.
When you got like three dudes just running over it with like they've got just been shot in the hamstring.
Oh my god, Lee Baker.
At one point I went over and red carded into the commentary Caravut because I was like, your hamstring is clearly off the bone right now.
People are doing really, really rough stuff. It's a challenging games like running slowly to get the ball that's already been hit for four.
Lee Baker looked like Ned Brockman off the back of sixteen hundred kilometers.
It's just held together by tape.
He did have a fizzing off the wicket though he did, oh mate, when he was darting in with the speed dealer, get it in there.
But yeah, so I don't know, we wear no chance again, Cindya, are we?
No? I mean the drawer actually, because that's why the drawer was such short. I was maybe TB looked at the weather forecast, but like I said, still India at two thirty. Yeah, it's not a bad punt or black Caps at fourteen. That's I wouldn't That's that's a brave man.
Wow.
Yeah, that ten dollars on India to win and then one dollar on us to win and cover yourself.
Yeah. But the issue here, the issue of the drawer.
Yeah, that's how I just found out. That's how heaps of money laundering goes. You put money on both sides, Yeah, and you get the money back, but now it's been so you lose half of it and keep half of it, and now it comes out clean out of Las Vegas.
Yeah. That's why the TAIRB is so particular about a lot of the bits that we played. That's why we actually have to physically place the bits and all the chicks and balances that are in there, because people lauded them and I am I'll openly admit I've I've laundered my own money through gambling in the past. So I was running a thing where anytime I would head on the pokes or something at the casino, I would go and buy a golf club with that. Yeah, because of
my missus mind. She's like, you won that money, that's your money. But what she didn't realize was was actually spending all of our money, putting it into the machine first, so that we're actually way worse off. But I was laundering our money through the Pokeys to buy myself golf clubs.
That's the wind bias, isn't it. Everyone celebrates the wind. Had to work out and how mutually put it on.
How much you've won, that's right, but that was no longer money that we had worked very hard for it with money that.
I yeah, yeah, because it had been loaded into sometimes victory. That's right.
I'm buying second here and golf clubs essence for twice the price. It was my gambling addiction. I saw a story that really caught my eye. Used today. Nigeria's football players returned to the country after boycotting the Africa Cup of Nations qualifier and Libya, where they were stranded overnight at the airport for nineteen hours. They were claiming that
it was mind games. So they're saying, wow, Nigeria flew to Libya to play, to play them, Libya got They got stuck in the airport for nineteen hours ahead of the game. Didn't In the end, they were like, buggert, We're not going to play. Do you think this was genuine skullduggery? Skullduggery.
I wouldn't be surprised. That kind of shit goes on all the time.
You remember that all whites went over to Central America to play a qualifier for the World Cup and outside their hotel room it was chili.
Wasn't it.
Something They basically Brazil.
They were in their hotel room and the hotel was surrounded by fans letting off fireworks.
Kaliko was flying over here.
They didn't get a wink of sleep, because that's how much it means them to qualify for the World Cup. They're like, fuck, we don't care. Whatever ways possible. Nigeria's a good football.
Team, Yeah, very good. Libya not so much. I can't imagine. Yeah, this is so you stuck them in the airport for eleven hours. It was it a visa or so.
You guys were waiting there, we'll see you soonah, and just walked away for nineteen hours.
Nineteen hours.
So it mustn't have been there nineteen hours nineteen hours. It was that they've been therefore so a whole day.
But like they returned dancing and singing. That's weird. I don't know why that was in this So they were dancing and singing when they return, but they hammered. Did they just get on the hammer? Fuck? I'll tell you what. If I'm stuck in an airport for nineteen minutes, I'm on the hammer.
That's what happened. They'll spun this around. White Wash Investigations has come involved with us. Really, the Diigerian team got hammered on the way to Libya, hammered at the airport, turned around, got on a flight back home, and that's why they're singing and dancing through the airport.
You hear about this shit all the time, these sort of mind games. There'll be a fire drill in the middle of at like three am, some burnt toast and then all of a sudden, he runs out in the lobby. Yeah,
I reckon, that's exactly what's going on here. Just quickly a Minnesota horticulture teacher remained the raigning champion on Monday of an annual pumpkin waying contest in northern California, whereas massive gords have won the top prize of four years in a road travers ole Ginger, he made himself a pumpkin that weighed one and twenty.
One kilograms the year A ton A ton. Wow, a kilogram that weighs a ton.
That's a lot of pump a pumpkin back.
Yeah, there's a lot of that be ittable, do you think wow?
But as my aunt Patty used to say, to sell one my uncle with his giant tomatoes, just like they're watery. They're bag but they're watery. Even when he went on and went on a ward at the gift, throw on a bone like okay, when what was the biggest bloody tomato you've grown? Right, Auntie, pet actually sounds miserable selling they're watery, and well, the thing wasn't who can grow the driest tomato so you can grow the biggest.
We had a pit pumpkin called Mike the pumpkin. I don't know what it was called Mike by someone else. I didn't name it after myself. But it was about a twenty kg pumpkin and it lived. It lived on the bar in the flat. And the idea was when you're drinking, you'd slapped Mike as you're drinking, like you know the rhythm of the music. And Mike started going out to the pub with us and would bring Mike with us and put them on and he came to a very unsticky end at Guardis and where he fell
off the back of the stool and cracked open. And Mike had been around for months and when Mike cracked open, basically people were dry reaching or all over Guardians and had to have a ceremonial like it was like a burial at sea into the into the leaf because everyone just had to go and just throw it into the leaf like some.
Great pub.
So Mike have be coman an rop an.
Rope of Mike Ropeta Gardis And just a final remindert you you can get rewarded for your sports binge watching with the snack Cheney Sports Scholarship takes chip to three, two, three, six to go and the draw to win the Ultimate acc Price pack plus some chunky, crunchy crispy brass kittled fried corrugated snacker cheney chips.
We'll take a break, come back with yours please.
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Four bits of feedback to get through today. First call it yours please?
Yeah, good a fellas just the South and deliving in prayerth YEA love to chat about New Zealand invading and Tactica, but leave us Shirley behind fucking useless and they hate a hard day's work.
So yeah, hello and fucking tiger.
All right, okay, driven to Targo.
So to catch you up, path, we were planning an invasion of Antarctica because we feel like sort of like the last unclaimed territory, and also we're probably not ambitious enough as a country, you know, we need to have some sort of expansion plan. So we're gonna invade Antarctica. And people were texting and pledging or calling in pledging different things for the invasion of Antarctica. There was a guy on the West coast at a couple of haglands that were free to go. Lane is going to bring
his dog, Jeremy cattle. Jeremy has a super outback, but he's also going to have to bring Tulsi because he doesn't know how to put the chains on. Oh yeah, yeah, so the party's getting quite big. We said we're going to have to bring a couple of Australians because they need to mine it. But that callers saying been Assies because they're lazy.
Yeah yeah, I mean all the good mining done in Australia is by New Zealand. Yeah, that's good.
True. Actually, we should just actually get all the all the West Coast miners, all the miners that are living in Australia, and just send them to Antarctica, any of the places that have just shut down. The good stuff under the ground there, I think. So yeah, some real good stuff.
I think. Are they're hiding something? There's something going on.
There's no rather reason why a bunch of scientists are sitting there just pretending like nothing's going on.
Did you that story a while ago where a guy arrived at Scott Base, fired up his tender and then he got a match, and then put on us his jacket and and then drove over to Macmurdo. Really better than a lot of people people in big cities getting nothing. But this guy's got a tender match and down in Scott Base. It's just it's just going to be a repeat though, wasn't it.
I got another match? Yeah, this pool is really smart. I've got to I've got all do that on my watch. Oh you've got another call here, you're the.
Seeuth Canterby losses him and I are had. So what he needs is something to distract him. He has to diversify his sports portfolio. He needs to find some other things to support so when the main one goes wrong he can be distracted. Personally, I'm like Matt Heath. I've got the Dodgers on watching. You can look overseas. There's so much round ball going on. You can just pick any minor team in any minor league anywhere in the world, and that could distract you. Just an idea.
All right, it's a good point. Auckland f C.
Oh yeahc Oakland f C debut game this weekend. Yes again, long for the pre match Lily World.
I met Ali Williams Yesterday's actually gonna be in the podcast tomorrow. He's in full promo mode at the moment.
I mean I even saw him on the breakdown pushing football. Yeah, I heard of.
How's the ticket sales gone? For that first one.
Good.
I believe it's almost sold out.
So I got twenty They head sold twenty thousand yesterday and there are the capacity is twenty.
Five twenty five at Mounts Matters the ramp.
And you know, I keep saying that I'm going to let off a flair and I've found out I'm in the corporate box this weekend. So I'm going to let off the world's first corporate flap that corporate box as well.
Yeah, I think you are. I'm not.
I'm going to go hang out in the port. That's where the flaps should be. Get supporters down on the south stand.
I'm going there. I might little flair off at Fritz as Wiener's in the cubicle the toilet. How are your Dodgers going?
And by the way, do they do they give you some solos from you know, the other teams you support that the black Caps are the black Caps.
They do. But it's a rough season for the Dodgers. Got no pitching, you know, they've had so many injuries in the pitching. But they've got a great they've got a great offense. So they've just got a score. They've just got a hit. So many runs and Freddy Freeman can't run, but he's still betting, so he has to basically just smoke it. But you've got shohe Tan who's just phenomenal that gives you. But but yeah, no pitching and so so in the first game we put eight
on them, nine on them on the Mets. In the second game they put seven on us and we've got nothing. So it's like it's real feastial femine. Either our guys go, we get screwed.
But does it work to save your own mental health for supporting another team like the Dodgers?
But I was because on Saturday when the Dodgers got through to the National League Championship Series, I, me and Cass celebrated so hard that we turned it into a loss. Yeah, so we met MEETI when out the game of Somebody. Really we were down at the pubs celebrating, just the two of us with Dodger's hats on. No one cares. And then the next day I thought to myself, I've really gone out of my way to pick a team that's got nothing to do with me. Now I live
and die for it. Now I've got a vaulting hangover. I can't remember how I got home, and all for a team that's got absolutely nothing to do with me. You've just got it so as I've grabbed something out of nowhere, you know, just stabbed yourself with it.
Did you guys get your tattoos? You're going to get tattoos, weren't you?
You and Cass Dodge's tattoo?
Yeah? Is that what it was?
Yeah?
Yeah, but it got complicated because we've had a trip to go over to Los Angeles and then there was things got complicated around some illnesses and the family, so we didn't go. So we were going to get it done, and then I was rejected at a tattoo place on Sunset for being too drunk.
Yes, it's a blood alcohol issue, isn't it. Yeah, blood runs.
Yeah, yeah, yeah yeah.
Hippattis some keep me coming dog is tatter on my forehead. All right, we got We'll go.
To one more, one more cally Hey.
Fellas, we've seriously been missing some cassowary chat over the last few weeks. So I reckon in training for Mania taking on a cassowary. You know, we're into a bit of a magpie swooping season. I want to see you out there taking on some magpies bare handed.
This up, let's do it sweepy anyway, fuck the magpies.
Yeah, that's sweepy season with the megpies, so sweeping boys will be headed for you.
That's you've been swooped by a magpie. At school, it was the one thing at school that everyone was terrified at. Megpies.
Yeah, just coming at you from the trees like squawking as they come at you as well. And when you think about it, I mean it's just a bird. You could just knock it out with one punch.
This is what I'm so.
They're coming get from behind. They know your eyes. That's why, if you're smart, you get some of those goggly eyes from from a two dollars shop.
And yeah, yeah, I've seen dudes that work in India with his tigers in the bush don't wear masks on the back of their head to put the tiger off from attacking them.
Yeah, they always behind.
Yeah, weeks with the magpie as well, but some kids have them on in Australia, they'll have like on the back of the helmet. They have it on the back of their bike helmet.
Goggle. Sweet people he's not going to do much damage. No, but it'll skip out of a kid. How good is that that?
That footage from that sort of kids league game and Ossie a few years ago. Oh no, the poor bugger.
Running around the fields just tagging. Oh no, the poor little bugger. Just one player. He's stagging and running. Good.
This kid looks like it's interested in my eggs. It's like in the middle of a f football field.
Oh, the poor bugger. This is a story around my family.
My dad got out of the shower one day, the towel and win to grab something off the clothesline, and it started getting swooped by a bird.
And so he's running back inside.
Who was inside saw that happening was absolutely not You're not bringing that bird and shut him out.
So now he's doing laps of the house and a towel while he's being swooped by a megpie.
Yeah all right, I'm gonna have to get out there and not start knocking out us a couple of megpies.
Real honor and privilege to have you back and again this week. Will see you next week.
So good, so good, thank you, thank you mate.
And just one more thing before I go guess what's happening to me at four thirty this afternoon. Directed My son is taking me out to the pub to buy me a beer. Oh, that's a big that's so excited. He's got a passport.
He's ready and he's good.
We're gonna sit down and he's going to go up to the pub, the bar, and he's going to buy his old man a beer. Is eighteen years old.
That is a great life achievement for you.
Birthday, my eighteenth birthday, I went out and I bought a pack of cigarettes, a lot of take out, a box of beer, and rinted the porno.
Ah did you. I'm sure I don't know where Charlie is right now, but.
I know he's not always. And Joyette, we'll see you guys tomorrow. All right.
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