"The ACC Ruins Rugby. Again..."

Live from the Export Beer Gardens studio and brought to you by Export Ultra, the beer for Here. This is the Agenda Podcast for Monday, the fifteenth of July.

The Agenda Podcast, the home of sporting nonsense and clap Trap, brought to you by Next Sport of Vulture.

Good morning, Lane, live from school holiday. Hell, how are you getting on?

Yeah?

Not too bad? And I like it's both a.

Little bit of school holidays how and also I'm unwitness protection. Yeah, after the weekend's commentary, but we'll get to that a bit later.

Yeah, we will.

We got to start with the freshest sporting news of the day. It is not, in fact coming home. Unfortunately, Spain have denied England a first major title since nineteen sixty six. Were they clinical two one win in the Euro twenty twenty four final in Berlin. We went down to normal taps to watch that one. I didn't realize. I mean, I know we've been saying it this whole tournament that everyone here is on England. I didn't realize just how much, because when England scored, the taps erupted.

And yeah, it's that's what happens. Everyone just gets in all of a sudden, everyone finds their English roots. I mean, look at mad Heath, for example, all of a sudden he's talking like an East End Londoner.

But not now.

Obviously he's got a lisp in. He's all Spanish. He's he's fully lisping up. But I'm pretty pretty good at actually, and I because our hunch was two nil to Spain, and I was in the office and I'm going to blame Joe jury here when I said I'm going to split the bonus bet fifty on two to one, fifty on two nil, and he said, don't be a pussy put at two nil.

Well, I think it's just hard for people to follow along when you're splitting one bed into two.

Yeah, I know. But Spain.

Yeah, as predicted, they took it out. English heart's broken again. The social media has been lit up with grown men crying that's great stuff.

The funniest as how entitled they've become. As the tournament's gone on, they keep.

That's what that's what they do. I know that's what the English do.

Because as a casual follower of in fact not even a casual follower of the round ball, I was always like, oh, England must be really good at it because they're constantly talking about it. It's like they actually haven't won shit for a long long time.

Spain.

That's the fourth euro Championship and third since two thousand and eight.

Why were England so keen, so sure they were going to win this?

Now?

They always get to such high hopes. I was in England every single year. I was in England for two European Championships and a World Cup, I think and heartbreak every time.

I mean one of them.

They didn't even qualify for the euro finals.

When I was there.

They got knocked out in Italy and they absolutely right had roamed down down and I was in a campground in Rome and all the English supporters came back to the campground, a whole lot of them just co it in blood. They've been throwing rocks at the police all night. Great stuff like that.

So hey great. Also, I mean I'm a great twenty four.

Hours for Spanish sports as well, because Alcoholath he took out Wimbledon, Sea and then on the Sale GP which is on right now. It's a race to the playoff. There's the two million dollar playoff that's happening. He's on qualified, Australia qualified, and there's two more races left this morning and it's between France and Spain, and France just sht

Yeah, what a great weekend to be in Espanol. And I see Leehart fresh from Croatia all weekend. He's now in Barcelona somehow.

What is going on? What contur is he on?

I don't know, because last week he was in Mexico and he was supposed to be on doing the Snacker CHINGI halftime show with me and so we had to do it from me in the studio, him in Mexico. Then this weekend just being he was in Croatia and now I see on his Instagram story this morning he's sucking in Spain.

What is going on? Is on some sort of chip junkets? I don't know.

Maybe he's opening up sales channels, Snacker Chaney snails channels. I mean, look, if you can crack Europe and even England, they love their crisps over the terrible walkers.

Yeah, the terrible chips. They're horrible chips.

It's just slightly salted. Everything's lightly salted.

Yeah, the terrible terrible chips over there in the UK.

I find despite the fact that, as you say, they love their chips, yeah, they're crisps.

Rather, they have walkers and layers they have there and they're just kind of wafer than bits of bullshit. Wait till they wait till they get a snacker Chany down in their face. I mean, like, if he can crack that, then I can imagine we'll all be on Leehot's Leehart Souper yacht.

Going around Croatia. Imagine that.

Jesus Christ, I.

Would absolutely love that we could do that. I'm firing a skipper. I'm not letting him skipper the buck mett Woods his skipper's license. Still, I hire a skipper.

Bring him over with Oh but coincidentally, this weekend we're playing Fiji. The All Blacks will get to that michially but myself and met Wood on the cour for that one. Before we get to an air break, though, I wanted to address this is the biggest news across the weekend. It's not sporting related, but we had to address it. Trump survived an assassination attempt by mere millimeters.

On the weekend.

History has been altered by just a matter of inches.

Out of a sliding doors moment, isn't it? Because was he saying that he looked, he turned his head to read some chart that was on his auto Q and that's what saved him, because if he hadn't moved his head to the left, he would have got his brains blown out.

Yeah, it was like it's like if it was in a movie and you were watching a film about it and you were like, oh, there was an assassination attempt, but it just clipped his ear.

He'd be like, oh, ohshit, But no, it happened in real life. And how balling?

How balling is it that they took him to the ground and he got up and just raised his first with blood coming down his face. He can't script that photo anymore. Like imagine the Americans are going to like the rodnecks. They're going to love him even more. What if you think of him? That photo is absolutely iconic.

And look, personally, I can't go to the bloke, but we as an ACC and you as Warriors fans should be pro Trump because we're andy Biden. Because he opened the door for this eighteenth NRAL team to be in Pabla, New Guinea and non in christ Shot. So that was when we jumped ship and got on Trump and all of a sudden, Yeah, that photo of him with his hand up, blood all over his face, it's one of

They're like, he's up there, he's up there, And eventually they turned around gotherius and blew his head off.

Yeah, it was my only thing for that guy. I believe him initially, like I don't think he was lying. He was wearing a stupid advisor with the fake here in the interview, It's like, you couldn't have taken the hat off. This is gonna be one of the most important pieces of evidence when this thing goes to I mean, I don't ever go to trial. They blew their guy's head off, so they're probably never know. They won't see

But also that.

May have contributed to the fact the Secret.

Service like ignored them.

Yeah, he's a guy in a comedy hat and comedy wig up there saying someone's got a gun.

I mean, like, come on, I wouldn't believe. I wouldn't have believed it.

No, I would have gone, shut up, Shut the fuck up, shut up, take the.

Head off, and they they us know what's going on. I bet there is. Yeah, it's just out of control. I can't believe.

Look, selfishly, it would have been way funnier, or not funnier, but more exciting, No funnier if I had a hat or what if a chance?

Totally what I mean, that two year old not a bad shot though, he's up to one hundred and twenty meters away. Yeah, that's a that's a ball and shot from that far away, and to miss by that that little amount. I mean obviously some innocent people got got waxed as well, because obviously a few of his straight shots went into the crowd. But yeah, crazy times, crazy.

As wild times. I don't know, like, would you if you were a Trump, would you show like when's your.

Next He will be straight back on the horse. You watch this is. This has played right into his hands. He's gonna love this is. This is the next few months is going to be a hell of a ride. You sleepy, Joe is going to be hope, he confused. He'll probably convince himself that he got shot at some stage. No, it's going to be a wild few months before this election, that's foricial.

I did see he's like a fake tweet from Joe Biden saying that he hopes for a speedy recovery for President Reagan.

But it would have been worse if it President Kennedy.

Yeah, the long line of long list of presidents have almost been assassinated or have been assassinated. I honestly thought we were going to see one get added to that when that was going. Yeah, but anyway, let's take a quick break. We'll come back and we'll break down the all black scat.

Well.

On Saturday afternoon, Lane, me, you and a few of the other a sec faithful went down to the Postman's League. Over on the North Shore, Rudor's band fired up. There was some delightful I've described them as generous drink specials going on. Yes out there only a grand total of two people yelled Fox South Canterbury at me.

That's not bad.

I mean that's quite a high percentage because not many people turned up. No for two people to say that, there's quite a lot. But you know you got up on stage and seeing angels, which was nice. Yeah, I'm entered on the video of that. A lot more kids in the crowd than I remember. Yes, yeah you really you're a big hit with the under fives.

Yeah I was.

There was a kid with the tambourine there. It was really helping me out. And then at a certain point I think because mum showed up with the basket of chips and you put the tambourine down, I beg that buddy tambourine back up.

Against Postman's League. Submit a little bit of a disappointing turnout from the shore, you know, not as not as hectic as Dunedin. It was never so I think nor Sure need to step up a little bit there on the on the pregame front. Yeah, so yeah, we'll probably won't be going here back there in a hurry, let's be honest. But the bus ride in you you went to the game, yep, you managed to avoid giving live updates. That was panded onto Finn Kenny.

Yes, Smash, I only got my tickets very late doors so it was probably for the best as well. Sorry, mass to sneak onto the field at one point. I don't know how he did that.

How did he do that?

I don't know, but I was sitting up in the nosebleeds watching the game actually managed to hit away three league multi there on many faye were also to score, which was also my league in our three way Yes, and he did score.

I missed the try itself.

So men, the misses were following along this three league multi which was us to win under fifty one and a half points. Man need to score. We scored, and so I was like, there's my chance to go to the loo.

Yeah.

Before I even came back, they had scored, no come back and my missus pointing at the field, he's god, he's good.

It's a good shore. It happens so quickly.

Yeah, and they every time he scored, they responded quickly, and that the try before halftime was a gutting one as well. But he let's celebrate the victories because our sports book three way, for the first time in four months has come off.

Yeah.

I had Mark Teller to score, you had the Spice Channel to score, and Carl's horse came in as well. Yeah multi yeah, mult time came in. So we won a cool was it thirteen hundred.

Thirteen hundred bucks off that one?

Yep?

And on top of that, for the sportsbook listeners, every one of those horses came in the top four. One of them did come forth. But if you like, we did multi all of those up with a top four finish. It was only paying like three or four dollars.

Oh, I stuck my whole kiding on it. I stuck seventy five bucks on it. So I came away with one hundred and ninety.

Yeah, so it's it came in.

It was, It was good, and it couldn't have happened at a bit of time because that guy sent in a voicemail last week saying that he listens to the Thursday and Friday episodes on a Monday and it makes him realize how shit punter as we are.

Well, I hope you're enjoying you Monday today.

Mate, let's hear it from now because yeah, but we filled the kiddie.

Yeah it was.

It was an interesting game, wasn't it? Because I felt like the All Blacks if they just got two or three wide. I think Raser mentioned this in the postmatch. He just says, we had them out wide once we could get the ball out wide, but they just struggled to get that one or two kind of phases together and create that space out wide. And I got example was that the break from Body Barrett that put Mark

Yeah, my my messages and Lauren from out in the office was sitting next to me and as soon as he came on, they're both going, who's he who's this guy?

We've never seen this guy before? Who is it?

So Corty's that's my I hadn't identified him as a hot guy of note, but apparently he's.

A hot guy from note? How many like I guess meters wise? How far away are you from that.

They showed him on the screen?

Ah okay, right, yeah, okay, fair enough, that.

Was how that was how they saw it. But yeah, I agree with you. Corty's had a great debut. I thought the Bowden Barrett grabbed that game by the scruff of the neck and said, I am still the best rugby player in this country. And my question for you is, and I said this last week, I felt like he was going to start. I feel like it's it's it's a full gone conclusion. Now he has to start in the next All Blacks game. But who does he start for? Does he start at ten or does he start at fifteen?

Do you think I think at fifteen? I think I think you need to keep on with McKenzie. I think the check he's peedifetter, he gets a good play and he'll do well. But I think Bowden will slipping at fifteen. Keith McKenny at ten I think that's that's the way that goes.

Yeah, it was just too dominant a performance, and you were like, certain came on. I think, well, yeah, he came on with thirty minutes left to go, came on at about the fifty minute marks, Like, shit, we could have done with him for those first fifteen minutes.

You know.

Yeah, they try the try saving tackle at the end as well. He had like about two hundred and forty kgs of ford just on his chest, which would have crushed a mere mortal. And he's had a great interview afterwards. He said like I don't know much about the obstruction rule, but I knew it'd held him up over the line, So yeah, he's finished there too. There was about five or six minutes of deliberations about whether that scored it.

Yeah, that's right, it was. It was.

It was quite tense and quite a weird sort of situation. I was it was real squeaky one time, because it was like you felt like they were going to hit the penalty and then there's no extra time, is there in a dismatch like that.

It's just game.

No, it's just game. There's no there's no golden point or anything like that. Hey, did I mean myself? And James mccaroney commentated that Yes, And I believe there was an elder gentleman who called News Talk z B the next day to talk to Piney who said he couldn't quite work out his sky box and it was stuck on Sky Sport nine.

Yep, we've got the audio, listened to it. Yep, here we go, Gabriel, thanks for holding mate.

Good a pooney. We watched the game on Sky nine Sports, and we've only just gotten a new box for us, so we weren't sure exactly how to work it. But I got it going for this Sky nine Sports. I thought it was a great game.

We won.

We're moving in the right direction. But I wonder if anybody else notice or heard the commentary that was on nine Sports. Some crowd called commentary collective alternative commentary collective. Now, these guys were total idiots. They had assume that thing going that was about third form from what I remember,

Yes I do, Gabriel, Yes I do. In fact, they're in the same building as us. Yes, they're in the same building as us. Are they're in a quiet taste. They're not for everybody, as you've pointed out. If you would prefer a different kind of commentary, Channel fifty one I think is probably where you need to go. But yeah, the Alternative Commentary Collective, they have a very big audience, a very big audience, and yeah, we're proud to have

Good to chat to your.

Mate, You good on your piney. But saying that you actually have to when you've got a skybox, you actually have to do a lot to get to us. You've got to go to Skysport nine and you've got to put your adult codin so Gabriel. I don't know what he did to put his adult codin, whether he ever knew it, but surely that would have raised red flags that it wasn't the normal commentary. So good on you, Gabriel. At least he kind of at least he listened and got all the nicknames.

Yeah, it was obviously an active participant because he remembered more slightly misremembered most of the nicknames. But you're right, it's my favorite piece of feedback that we get as the alternative commentary collective is just shut up and commentate the game.

Normally.

That's on the other one.

They have that the clue is in the name. The name. Yeah, so he obviously had no idea.

And I think what I'm picking up here from Gabriel is that it was a real battle for him to even get on to Skysport Night.

And I think once he saw the All Blacks he was just like, I'm not I'm just leaving it where. He just got it working. He just got it working for that game. Yeah, just he'd been.

Working on that for weeks.

Yeah, he finally got to go and I'm not bloody changing it.

Then his wife's like, well this is bloody terrible. We can't be listening to this.

And then I just love the way that he was so because can you imagine how angry he was listening to the game like throughout the game, how passed off he must have been that the next day. This came in at about lunchtime on Sunday, so the next morning he got up and he would have just been I just can't bloody believe what I heard last not on the sky Sport nine. Have you heard did you hear? Have you ever heard anything like it?

Have I hear that?

Bloody Jason Byn on the radio. I'll be wringing him and telling him all about it.

This is not good enough, A great stuff. That's that.

We're going to put that in our promo. That's going on the next promo billboard probably.

So yeah, the next game, the All Blacks are playing Fiji this weekend.

It's going to be Saturday. It's over in San Diego.

I presume it's a Friday night game because it's two o'clock kickoff here in New Zealand.

Actually quite a quite a friendly time.

And oh just quickly as well, Hulk smash a man, Hulk smash. Yes from the Tyree Seniors got a message on Sunday. Tyree Senior Open grade Old boys got up on Saturday. They won thirty three to thirty.

Oh.

The game went to extra time at twenty three. All what yeah, and eventually the Eels got up Tyrie. That is thirty three to thirty old. I got a photo of our man Hulk Smash in action. Yep, he's got a powerful looking unit. But yeah, thirty three thirty after going to overtime at twenty three, All.

Oh, congratulations, congratulations, so Hulk Smash.

So it was that the final? Yeah? That was the final? Yeah, oh semifinal. I feel like it might have been the semi final.

Yeah. I think the other club rugby at semi finals because I know the Share beat Mahurangi in the semi final. They're in the final next week.

There was it when we were at the Postman's League.

There was a game being live streamed on Facebook and that was being played over the screens.

Was that the North Shore?

No? No, there was there was like down in like Parmestan North or something. Some guy just asked to put on YouTube stream up so he could crush beers and watch his local club rugby final from way down the lines, bless no matter what.

Two all right, let's take one last break and when we come back, we'll get to your feedback on yours please.

Yours please, brought you by leader tomb of.

The phone button in the bottom right hand corner of your iHeart radio apps. How you can get in touch with us and take your part in the show, just like this person has here, Call her yours please.

Good boys it Smurray Deka here. When the fuck did I give you cunts permission to use my cats trows?

I'll tell you when never Julane knew all that, Alerek and that started the base regade?

Aren't you?

I bet you were one of the cunts that used to ring up zeeb and prank call me and swear live on air.

Bloody disgraceful anyway yours please?

Well?

Thanks? Mary? Was was it? He? Did you prank? Mary?

We never really prank them. What we did do is when whenever he interviewed Dan for Tory, we would always ring up and ask a heavily and appropriate question with a lot of sexual undertones that only Dan would understand, and then Mary would and Dan would start laughing, and then Marry Go.

Was that one of your friends again? Is it Dan? So? Yeah?

That we never we never went on there and swore, I mean, we're not that immature.

I feel like I've heard recently if we played out on this podcast before some of the callers that he used to get through.

Yes, because he refuses to use because just lifting the curtain a little bit. On talkback, a lot of talkback call hosts they have a dump button. Yeah, so in reality, your call is two or three seconds delayed, So if you drop a sea bomb or you say something inappropriate, they've got two or three seconds to press that button and you disappear. Murray Deeka refused to use that because

And it happened a lot.

I think it's like a highlight reel on YouTube or something. We'll dig it up, you play it out tomorrow. Yeah, I reckon, but this absolute crack is on there. Anytime you've got talk back, you're really opening yourself up for that kind of thing.

Yeah.

Absolutely, I mean we used to. Yeah, we used to live on the shore as as like a student. Every time we crossed the bridge either either way, the rule was someone in the car had to ring as he'd been do talkback no matter what state you're in, three four in the morning, coming back over the bridge from town, you have to talkback or call and see what they're up to.

Yeah, just way.

I'll always take it as well, particularly absolutely Yeah. Having worked at a talkback radio session, we actually had a seven second delay and I never once used it. I'd tell them that I had, but I I selfishly just wanted their bones to get through. Whatever it did, it would just crack me up with it. And then if anyone asked what, yeah, yeah got the button.

Yeah I got it, mate. Never did. Thank you very much for getting in touch Murray.

I see that no one's still yet completed the Murray Decker challenge, which is to get a plunder onto Murray Decker's head or any board man's.

Head to be fair.

Yeah, but he is still bored, so your your chance is still there.

We had another caller here, yours, please do you reckon the mainstream media has taken your idea.

For the shot clock or like what's happening there?

Okay, we we we had our own shot clock on Saturday night which involved any stoppage and play. We would just kick off our own stop a shot clock and then have a shot. If it ran down. They create a bit of confusion when they put the real shot clock up and then our shot clock was running slightly either behind or in front of which caused a lot of confusion for the viewers on Skysport nine. So I think we might need to tidy that up a little bit.

Yeah.

That would have absolutely had Gabriel's brain twisted into a pretzel.

Oh yeah, I would have actuallydn't think about that because we had a huge shot clock in the corner and we had the countdown music then.

Ten cats.

Yeah yeah, so we add all the sound efficks and everything and then we just take a shot at tequila.

He would have been since with that.

Yeah, he would not have been able to follow it at all. Thank you very much for call another caller here yours please? Sorry I said fucked out for I med fucked out Canterbury.

How good.

Thank you very much for clarifying that one he must have. He's obviously in a pub somewhere. I don't think he's at a pub. I think he's just absolutely peeled after the game.

The game, Yeah, yeah, I love that.

He was just like, hang on, let me just gotta go back, let me just clean that up for a second. A lot of people do think that South Canterbury is part of Southland. I think to Auckland is anything south of christ Church is Southland.

Yeah, people, yeah, I agree with that.

Whenever I meet Aucklanders and I tell them where I'm originally from, they always say Southland. Are you a Southlander? Dunedin's not even Southland. People still think that is.

That's yeah, you're right, it's south of where we are.

South of the bombos. That's all that matters. We've got a couple more another call here, yours please.

Good o fellas smax from the tron here.

Yeah, just weighing in on your guys, betting with your kids.

My wife when I do that, but it's.

A bit young, so we just do under overs on whether or not he's got a nappy for shit.

That's a fun one. Yeah. When you win, yeah, not so good when you lose like that.

The gamification of nappies is the only way to get through it.

It's the only way.

So I can highly commend that father and bringing gamification and betting into nappy changing.

Yeah, there has to be a win there for you somehow, yea, even if you have the manufacturer. Speaking of nappies, the Hello Sports Boys they do a podcast over there in Australia. They are New South Welshman and they found out that Mitch Barnett missed the birth of his second son for New South Wales camp. It was like early week camp as well, it wasn't like day off. He missed the birth of his kid to hold pads at training camp.

They're going to multiply that.

I reckon we'll have to get them on on Wednesday for a bit of a state of origin preview.

Yeah, tell them we'll deliver them. Yeah, we'll deliver them. We'll we'll hand deliver them for them.

Because they called up bloke Jackson who works out there at the Warriors, and said can we can we send this to you, and he was like, why don't you just send me the money and I'll buy it over here?

Not the not the point.

So we have a ute. You know, we have the capability. We can hand deliver this stuff to the warriors. So I reckon, we'll reach out to them, or if you're listening to this, reach out to us and otherwise. We will be back tomorrow with another episode of the Gender Podcast Live from the Export Bier Guns Shooter and from the road I believe Lane, where abouts in the country are you by the.

Way, I'm in.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, Like I say, in hiding.

And witness protection.

All right, we will see you guys tomorrow for another episode off the Agenda Podcast.

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