"Per Capita"

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Morning Late. I'm feeling the burn this morning. You got the fern burn. I'm feeling the fern burn this morning. Haven't got an olymptic. Well, it was a bit of.

An olymptic over the weekend. Actually we'll get into that later on the podcast, but fern burn is real for me. It's up all last night, and to be honest, like last night was the night to get an early night's sleep. If you've been watching the Olympics. We didn't have anyone that could have won anything.

No, it's all the track and field stuff.

Yeah, except our golfers were going, but they were too far back. There was the girls in the road cycling as well. But if you're going to circle the night to get a good night's sleep, it was last night. I didn't do it. I stayed up all night watching the athletics, the two hundred meta women's heats.

It just gets quite addictive. Though, yes, because of the athletics. It's just had after hit because they come back to the heats and they go to the hand alter. You got the hammer for a bit, you watch some someone half of rock, and then it comes back all all the discuss It says like every time you feel like you're waning a little bit, they'll come back to like a two hundred meters heat or something, or one hundred meters heat.

And then you've just figured out enough about the long jump that you're like now into it.

You're invested.

You're like, oh, but he went well at the last one, and now he's going to go again. So this guy jumps higher, and then this guy jumps longer, but he's taller. It's yeah, it really took its toll on me overnight, because you know, I got it this morning, went to the gym.

I'm taking it pretty seriously these days.

And I got out and had a shower, got back to my bag and realized I had not packed pants this morning, so I was just standing in the bathroom in my undies. Luckily for you, we have a plethora of leisure where leisure club track is here, and now you look very comfortable.

Am the most comfortable man you've got.

You've got leisure club trackies ye, cream yes, and leisure club hoodie yes. The charcoal the charcoal hoodie as am I but minds a slightly different design. But things have all turned up gravy.

They have.

Yeah, and I think this is day one of me wearing track pants to work. It will not it will not be the last that I think. If people just got used to seeing me in track pants around the office, I could make it a bit of a thing.

I don't know.

It's the only issue for me is you know it does exude the vibe of you would be the next to be fired, you know what I mean when you're drawing a list together. I got do some cost savings and it's like, who's the fucking guy who wears trek pants to work? And now I it's minight. Yeah, well he's top of the list. That's my only consumer. Yeah, I'm putting my head above the yeah, parapet above the

Sure enough, didn't do it in the morning. It's all the different moments where I could have avoided this. But anyway, we're here. I'm thoroughly enjoying the Olympics and we will get into all of the action very shortly. But alongside that and one of the most acc moves of all time, we've launched the greatest New Zealander of all time. The official brackets are up now on social media. Oh, you've created her. You've created a bit of a storm. Look,

Say, no one voted for Sam Kaine.

No one voted for Sam Kaine. And so it's gone up on social media so much chagrin. There's a lot of people saying, oh, God, the matchups are brutal. Someone made a good point, Sir Edmund Hillary and Sir Ernest Rutherford are up against each other in the first round, and they were like, so one of those two is going to miss out here. Yeah, but then one of either Hillary Burial Paul Holmes is going to go through it and make it into around two.

Look so bad. It's an exercise, okay, you know.

And also the debate is what we're trying to garner him, Like, this is what we're trying to do. We're trying to generate a little bit of a pub debate.

Who was the greatest New Zealander of all? We're going to put it a bit.

And you've had some hostile ones around Charles Upham, uh, not hostile, just saying he's a clear surely yeah, clear winner. Well, VC and Bar you need to read Chasing Charlie. Though those people out there read Chasing Charlie.

I've had it riad to me. It's a great book, but I think he had a few issues.

That's almost I'm going to say, oh, you mean one of our most notorious killers.

That guy has a backpack having grenades. And I'm not saying it was a bad issue.

But it was like he was he was he was born when he was he was did see it crazy?

Yeah?

Stories of him taking potshots at VW's driving up his driveway, you know, years after the war.

Some of the stories are unbelievable in that book. Yeah, check it out.

I mean, I spent the first four years of my life on burn And military base, so I've I've heard all of the stories I've had.

Those are my bedtime stories. It was Charlie Upham books. So yeah, the greatest New Zealander of all time. Brackets are up.

Now we're going to give you a chance to vote on social media once I get around to making individual tiles so that you can vote for this person versus that person.

Some feeling is going to get hurt along the way. Yeah, you're gonna you're gonna copy it.

And I'm here for It's not again, it's not me. I'm making But I didn't pick the do. Someone needs a lightning rod and you're why me. I don't know, you're creating.

You're the head of the a SEC. I get enough ship.

I'm fighting fires elsewhere. This fire is not even a campfire, it's a spark. Yeah, I'm I'm dealing with Inferno's. I don't stand to lose my career over this one.

Yet, although it could happen when Charlie Apia comes up against Susie Cado. The Mystic said one back to back Ain's Premiership titles over the weekend. It's a really unfortunate time to be playing any sport that isn't at the OLM.

Totally and that and it's also a great time to be committing a crime and be in court at the moment because you're getting no coverage due to the phead I surgeon. Yeah, I think we're gonna come out of these Olympics and be like, oh shit, the World War three start a few weeks ago.

Damn it's about to. It is about to.

But yeah, the Mystics one, they've won back to back games in premiership titles. It was a dramatic, dramatic finish. It was one of those games where once like you can see what each team's trying to do, and basically the Mystics were like, get the ball to Grace and work here under any supits whatever else we do, like do whatever, cheat, scratch, claw, throw bos whatever, Just get the ball to her and we'll win.

That's Grace in the Wikia is like the Michael Drige just get it to Grace and Wiki yeah, and the Pulse were like, do not let Grace get the ball.

Whatever you have to do, make it happen. And it was fifty four to fifty three. And then it was a great advertisement for the game because it came right down to it. There were like thirteen seconds left, fifty three or Grace gets the ball. A worst case scenario for the Pulse. She throws to the shot up and shut irons it off. The front of the room's like, oh my god. And then there was like contact stand beside five four. She nails it. It's an ugly cry. It was all. It was great. It was the best

The mum's, the mum's the mom and the mums got out my winning gold and one of them just couldn't even get through the inf she was bloody, she was absolutely blab was that was hard to not hard to watch, but it's hard not to.

Yeah, bit of a pang in you. Yeah, you don't have a pulse. If you don't feeling anything with it, well, you're not a key.

You know, you might as well go out and flag, burn a flag, if that's what you're going to be done, because you know they are representing us, and you know we're just a tiny little country down the bottom of the world, just really representing ourselves. And yeah, I just think that it was I've been needing to hydrate a lot. Reminded me of when my floating days down there and tomorrow Sophie Pascoe one one day and we're all massively hungover in the lounge, about six of us.

Emotions are high. Emotions were very high, very very high.

She wins. It's like her on screen, she's crying. Cut to her dad in the crowd, he's crying. Cut to me in the corner of the lounge.

Tears, just pouring it the whole.

But none of us wanted to admitut fucking no, no.

I did the same.

Watching the Bruce McLaren documentary on long haul flight never watch an emotional movie while drinking at high altitude.

I was like, ah, I had met Heath explained to me at length why that is. Apparently, it's because your body knows subconsciously you are hurtling through the air at six hundred miles an hour, thirty thousand feet up in the air, and a middle tube and a middle tube, so you're like at a heightened sense.

Yeah. Right.

I watched The Assassination of James, that movie with Brad Pitt. I couldn't hear it because the headphones were so shit. I watched it on mutes of four hour fucking movie.

I cried. I didn't know what We just filled the gaps. I didn't know what was happening.

I made up my own movie him, my own mit, and he's sitting in a rocking chair at the end of the I don't even know what the fucking happened. We're going to talk about the Warriors on the Mad Monday podcast later on today, myself and Die Heinwood. Die commentated the game live for the Ground. We were into the game. I'm gonna be honest. Twenty minutes into it, I turned my back on the pitch. I couldn't watch it anymore.

Hurt too much.

I've been keeping positive for so long, but I was seeing those first two tries that the Eels scored.

It just broke my heart.

Seeing them in the flesh as so much more deflating, because you know, when you're watching on TV, the commentators are getting fizzed up about each try. When you're at the ground and the Eels score a try did silence and it's just so heartbreaking.

And look, there's been a lot of talk about the excess of evil that was there.

Myself.

I was in attendance, yes, Chris Key was commentating and in attendance, and the penan wires were out in force. Matt Heath and his pen and Wars were there. So the excess of evil was there. Say, look it was all It was all their backs against through a wolf the world so unfortunately.

Had no choice. They had no chance to get go now they didn't.

Matt Heath was in the corporate box with full wolf mouth, red wine all through his teeth. I was driving wedges between people. Yeah, okay, I've got something. Yeah, this is this is an issue they need to bring up, and that is you drinking beers and driving wedges between people with the challenge of one hundred meters race. Basically, what you do is you get two work colleagues that normally get on quite well, and you go and you go, I beat she can beat you, and no I don't.

I asked them who do they think would win? And both of them because it makes them say who they think would win, and you can tell straight away who thinks that they would win.

You did it with our friends at dB Yes, down in Dunedin. Ye, they almost to blow.

They almost up Baldwin Street the next day.

The next day because I've been going about it, because I could see they both had that fire in their eye.

They both thought they would oh look we don't care, we don't care. The next morning they went to Baldwin Street. They stood at bottom said I do I reckon, you get.

And you've done it.

But now I don't mind that because that's kind of that is outside our circle.

But now you have bought your your widge.

You've bought you one hundred meters widge into our team a sixty degree with yes you have.

You've bought the sexity. And now we've got two colleagues. Yea Ellen, who's in the room right now.

Her out in the office now looking at each other sideways because they both.

Think they can smash each other over one hundred.

And Lauren, well, yeah, I think Lauren's feelings genuinely got hurt because everybody jumped on Ella's side. And I think that mainly it's a height issue.

Yeah, Lauren's very small. It's a stride length issue. But it hurt.

This is why I love it so much, because so many people think that they would do all right. So if you want to start, like at Christmas, if you get sick of starting the fight with the relationship over just normal, normal, boring family ship, get them into one hundred meter race and then just watch it explode.

Yeah, because everybody, I don't know, I don't know what it is. People just think that they're going to do so much better than they actually will. Speaking of which, we've set our own little Olympic challenge. So we were talking last week on the podcast if you haven't caught up, what could you, like, could you beat an Olympic athlete at anything?

Or compete or compete?

And so what we sort of looked at was, Wow, who are the smallest athletes in the weightlifting competition, and it's the forty nine kilo woman's division. But the world record for those is like ninety four kilos for the snatch and about one hundred and twenty something for the clean and jerk, which is ridiculous.

But that's the world record. Yes, no, I'm looking to not come last. Yeah, that's right. So it's like, could you win? Could you beat anyone at anything at the Olympics. So we once the weightlifting starts, we need to find out who loses. Yes, but it needs to be the lowest successful lift, you know what I mean.

It can't just be they failed.

The other thing I was thinking is what if you found out that someone to the hammy and like a hundred meters height and it took them twenty seconds to run one hundred meters. That's that's a different thing. That doesn't count. That's that's like paying on an injury.

Yeah, okay, So you need to find the lightest successful lift at the Olympics.

Yeah, and do you think you could do it?

Because if the world records ninety four like that're probably all lifting about eighty.

Yeah, and the bottom of might be in their seventies. Yeah.

I see how you're talking now, I reckon. I could definitely put it back out and do it at seventy.

And that's but so we've decided that if it was going to be the clean and jerk, you're just going to do the clean part.

Is that right? Or are you you're going to try and hold jerk it. You're going to jerk it for the people? Oh yeah like that.

I feel like that's where you're gonna put Eighty kilos is fucking heavy.

Man, I know that is really really heavy.

Well look that's I mean, like I said, it's I think it's the only one I'm going to compete in.

Yeah, like everything else, Yeah, you get fucking wasted. Yeah maybe the ski shooting that they're pretty good as well. That very very good.

Yeah, that's that's like the the sketings like the stag do one, but it's coming at you from different angles.

So yeah, I.

Don't think so I hit my first I was on a stag the last year and I hit the first shot that I fired. Just put the gun down, So we're done here, because I knew I was just not going to at another one. So I don't think it's that. Yeah, like I said, I was at the gym this morning. I was looking at somebody who was squatting about what you were banking on clean and jerking.

And I was like, I don't think you could do it. I don't think he.

Could, but we'll find out. Because they may only lift like sixty killers.

Yeah, well you go even then, sixty kilers is quite a lot anyway. That just back on the wise, that's the second last home game of the year. The last ones against the Bulldogs are in frightening form.

And we got tickets to that. We don't have tickets for that. We've got your chance to come and watch that. An exclusive opportunity to be a VIP at the Warriors. You will score tickets, cash money for food and beverage's vouchers to be kitted out like me, and the full tracksuit from Helenstein's. To get the draw takes VP to three two, three six and you can be a VP at the Warrior's. Things to the a SEC and Helenstein's brothers.

A quick break.

We're going to come back and break down a massive weekend in the Olympics. All right, My laptop is on my lap because I need to go through this this middle Telly. So far our sailors won silver overnight overnight on Friday. So that's the only medal we've had since we last talked.

Win did twiggy Twiggy? Wasn't that over the weekend or was that on Thursday night?

You might have been Saturday night? Yeah, she won silver. She won silver. Did you see when our sailors won? So there was the two blokes And you'll forgive me because I can't tell the difference between the boats.

Was it a skiff? Was it a ding?

It was a skiff for I think it might have been the skiff anyway. Day one, they just hopped off the boat right on the finish line. They just popped the money right over the finish line.

And that's the way to do it. Yeah, hell yeah, it was great.

Just watched the boat sail off ato the distance just crashed straight away as soon as they jumped off it. But then I was like, whoever was in third place, they're just about their sunken boat.

They didn't give a shit. They'd won their silver medal. Yeah, it's yeah. And they were just straight into the Mediterranean. Oh and I like that they came into shore and they got tackled by their shore crew and the water.

I And I was thinking when I was watching it, we don't have that kind of moment in your day to day life. If you just have a job, you don't have that moment of like working towards something then finally achieving it and celebrating your success with all the your friends. I guess that's why people get so caught up in like awards, ceremonies, shit, which that's You're a

They said I could have done it.

They said that the look up function wouldn't work, and that the lynks wouldn't work, and when they clicked the drop down, men, you wouldn't bring the right stuff up.

And I did it and I won.

No, I know we need that. I think sports is the last place that you can you can do that. We had a quiet day for New Zealand yesterday except for Luca Jones and Finn the Butcher who won their heats and the kayaks they were zipping down the river there. You haven't seen the Have you seen the one that they do the canoe cross.

No, I haven't seen it. I haven't seen that one. That one looks like.

I like the snowboard cross at the Winter Game Winter Olympics where they had the scene down the six snowboarders down one track and they're smashing into each other.

Yeah, that's but that's basically what it is.

So like the canoe slalom event where you know, you get to go down then do a loop around this one, then you get a barrell. It's basically that. But they drop three guys into the river at the same time. It's quite cool because the first one they have to hit there's a low bar and they have to roll to get underneath a barrel. Roll, oh yeah, And so

That's a new it's a new one. A yeah, I've never seen it. No, first time spent at the Olympics. They're whacking each other with their sticks as they're trying to get around there. That's quite cool.

It's kind of.

Cool, but it's also like we when and weir are you going to practice that? Like, I don't think it's going to take off. It's like you've got to get access to a river with those dangly things in.

It, and then another two dudes, or do it against two other dudes.

Zoe Hobbs missed her Olympic finals and she was really gutted with her self.

I don't think she should have been. She was right there. She made the semis.

She made the semis and it was like, you know you there were I think there were two from there that went through into the next round, and she might have been third, or she might have been the fourth, I think, and then the two fastest. So she was right there or thereabouts. And these are the fastest human beings in the world. Obviously you'd be gutted when it hadn't worked out, fear, but I thought she gave a great account of herself in her country to even be

In the end. Oh yeah, barnstorming last round.

Of course he was going to our road race girls finished in about middle of the pack. One of them their bike couldn't change gears, so she had to swap bikes this morning, very very disappointing, and Lauren Broce through sixty nine meters which was nice, but not nice enough to qualify. Aaron Gates fires up on the Valdrome tonight, so we're into a few more medal chances of the cycling.

Yeah, we're starting sitting down going forwards this time. So we've got kayaking and valodrome cycling to come.

So all is not lost.

Yeah, over the weekend though, if we're going to look abroad further than just New Zealand. As I watched the sprint Docco that you were talking about last week was great on Netflix. The sprenders Noah Lyles this morning he won the Olympic gold for one hundred meters, the glamour event. Bit of a wounder if I'm honest. He's the guy who last year was saying world champion of what when they won the NBA. Yeah, you're not the world champion, like you just won the NBA. He is now officially

Yeah, it was Yeah, it was insane. They because they both looked up at the board. It's a kind of a weird moment and they both had exactly the same time. Yeah, nine point seven nine, So they were both like what is And then it was like some sort of some of the photo finished. I think I had to do with the tools, so maybe beating because they were exactly the same on the photo finish. So I'm trying to work out how they actually work that out.

Oh, they take those weird photos.

Were like pans around and it's like a composite photo made up of various it's all very confusing. It's the same thing they use for the horses, but it has to come down. They've got to zoom right in to figure it out, just like a man the French pole vaalter you would have seen across the weekend.

Oh yeahs dead all got in the way. Didn't have to.

Zoom in on this, Anthony Emma greatest headline I saw this morning his bag Yete got on the way of reaching the Paris Olympics final. That here's the pole vaulter who went up over the pole and then dislodged the bar with his downstairs. And I was saying out in the office just before, Look, if you're going to go out, that's how I'd like to go out.

Absolutely.

I mean, look, he hasn't won a medal, but he certainly won some fans.

But also, like, if that's your sport, surely that's something they address, isn't it.

Obviously it's not well what you're saying, he should attacked. Yeah, one hundred percent. You can't tuck when you're sprinting, and like that, you can't have it all tucked down down under when you're sprinting. I mean, you can't run with a naked lady. I reckon you could. I'm not as fast as those guy.

Moreover, I feel like you should well look, genuinely, it happened. He knocked the bar off with hiss downstairs.

You have to have either a tighter pair of andies, the double bag at your bloody chuck a crocket box on.

You can't.

You just can't that happening. It's unacceptable. It is unacceptable. Although again I would like to go back to my previous statement. If I'm going to go out, that's how I'd like to go. They'll be like, wow, anyone that didn't see it, what happened?

How come you? Well go back and watch the footage. I think you'll be surprised.

In the one hundred meter sprints, the female hundred meter sprints, Saint Lucia's Julian Alfred one Gold.

Yes.

Huge issue with this, yes, huge is shoes from Saint Lucia, Yes, which really messes with our per capita table.

Yes. And then the triple jumper comes from Grenada. Yep.

Again really messing with our per capita. That's how their per capita is our two dangahuawah. That is where we dominate, and that's our homes, our bread and butter. It's our bread and butter. That is our spiritual home as the per capita table. And then these little Caribbean nations come along and do this. It really messes with us. So I've looked up the numbers here. I have the medals per capita chart in front of it. Yes, Dominican republica in they want a gold medal.

I can't remember in what triple jump? Oh the other triple jumper. Their population is seventy one thousand.

They don't even have a track.

So the triple jumper is in college and the States or whatever they have a running track there. All right, Yeah, that's that's something that that's just really messing with us.

So then Grenada are in second because their populations one hundred and twelve.

Saint Lucia, who we just mentioned there, So.

Is it Grenada that won the triple might have been Grenada? Oh way, one of those two. We don't fact check on this podcast. Dominican Republic, Grenada, Saint Lucia.

There we go. See all those Caribbeans.

Their only advantage here is that they're not competing under the West Indies because they they all play cricket for the West Indies and so they're very lucky to have been split out into the individual islands to beat us on the per capital We are fourth, so we've got seven medals for four point eight million people and we're just above Fiji. We've got one gold and eight hundred ninety six thousand per Kosovo, Australia, Ireland, Croatia, the Netherlands, Georgia hungry.

Blah blah blah blah blah.

So yeah, per per capita disaster for us, we're not We are not catching Dominica. We would need another one hundred medals.

To catch the hundred medals. Hey.

Also, we've got to we've got to address something. A lot of people criticizing us about our story about the Turkish shooter.

Yes, they're saying that we didn't fact check.

It withoure saying that story was made up. We made that story up. Who knows it might be true, might not. That's not really our job, is it. No, it's not our job to fact check.

Well this is I love that the comments on Instagram versus Facebook were completely different. On Instagram, people were tagging their friends been like check this crack up story out. And on Facebook it was like, you guys, call yourself a reputable outlet. This isn't true at all. Check your facts blah blah blah. It's like, no, we're not a reputable news outlet.

How many times do we need to say this before you idiots start fucking listening to us.

Listen to me now, sports, don't listen to me.

Adjacent sports adjacent, listen to us when we say this, don't listen to us. If you if you want facts, yeah, yeah, he's a cold hard fact for you.

We don't fact, chick, We don't. All we saw was a great yarn.

Read it out, it made it made it made me lol yep, and I'm sure it made a few other people.

Lole. Made some boomers very angry on Facebook, I know, but it was.

It's a great yarn. And still I want to believe the dream of that turkis shooter. Yeah, what a legend. He still want silver, whatever story of backstory it was. He might have been going through a divorce, he might not have been. He might have wanted his dog back, he might not have. He may be a retired policeman. Correct, we don't know.

But also to all those people who were like, oh no, he's actually a retired policeman. He's competed in every Olympics, Like, how do you know have you checked those facts?

Well?

Did you just read a story on the internet, Like we did. Fuck off um.

Belgium have withdrawn from the mixed relay triathlon because of the first of what I presume to be a spit of the same thing happening that one of their first tray athletes who competed in the individual league, she has fallen ill. Yes, after swimming through a river of poos and then crashing her bike and sliding across the concrete. Of course someone was going to get infected from that, so they've pulled out.

Why are they persisting with the river? Get them in a pool.

The greatest meme to come out of these Olympic Games came out on Friday, and that is like superimposed of Golum coming out of the river and a reporter with a microphone and it's like exclusive footage of the first tray athlete coming out of the sea. He's like, ah, yeah, it was like I was still going to heath out in the office and he was saying, like when the commentator cursed Hayden Wilde saying it says he's going to

Out of here. I sound like unless he was Andy Dufrayne, you know, he swam through a lot of shit. Andy, two things never happened after that triathlon.

Yeah, so unless he was handed a frame, he was never gonna be able to hold someone off. So yeah, I wouldn't be surprised if we hear about other people pulling out of the triathlon.

The mex Trathon is a strange one, isn't it. It's like it's is it too? Both members of each team, I don't know. Two men, two women. Do they do all legs or do they want some swim, some cycle, some run?

I don't know. Again, I mean I better sports podcast wouldn't.

Again, I don't fact check. This isn't a reputable news source. I don't know, but I'm happy to say it.

I'll say, yeah, it's two dudes in one woman and she does I can't say that the cycle leg.

But again, check your own facts. I don't know.

Despite having the wealth of human knowledge available at my fingertips via the laptop right here, I'm not even gonna look it up about that. What I will tell you is everyone's going to get sick if they jump back in that fucking river. But I think they had to push that back.

Pissed with rain two yeah, over the weekends athletics, So then they checked again and now they've had to push the trithon back all they haven't I don't know. Again, stop coming to me for the fact. Who's hating the Olympics For local Parisians? Oh, I've heard local Parsians. I had a mate who lived there fifteen years. They have shut down every single suburb of Paris. So you need a QR code to leave your suburb. So you need a legitimate excuse to leave your suburb just to prevent

Does it all finish on Saturday?

Yeah, pleasing ceremony Sunday. I was at Sunday or Monday morning. Probably just happened. It just happens so quickly two weeks. Boom boom bom boom boom.

Yeah.

I'm thoroughly enjoying it though. All right, we're going to take one more quick break. When we come back. It's time for yours please, yours.

Please, brought to you by Leader Home of the laun on top.

It is actually quite hot in a full track suit, I'll tell you that for nothing. I'm stunning sweat.

Yeah yeah, look, I mean look you might be comfortable, but yeah, you are looking a bit sluggish.

Beauteous pain. First call here at yours please, the.

Man formerly known as Captain Askgrad here now the official acc fact checker. You were right, key, we gold is in fact the bronze medal. We have one more at common walthe Games than any other medal. However, my Olympic fact still stands, and you guys are still muppets and stand behind facts that you know nothing about. So I'll continue to fact check you. Love you babes, love you lots. Fuck South Ken, I'll take the w on that.

Yeah, I'll take the wye. I knew there was a reason why we said it, and there we go.

Yep, we baited you in by saying that we don't fact check. We need to do a lot of prep for this podcast, but thank you very much for continuing to fact check us.

Really appreciate it. Another one here you're splits hey fowlers me again.

I just had a quick thought after a mirror of a day with the bloody engined post career fucking fuzzos. What normal jobs could be an Olympic sport? For example, being a courier.

You get mixed on the motorsports you or you could how fai you can throw a parcel or get the builders in how faar you can throw a hammer as the hammer throw you know, barrow pushing all.

Of that jazz.

You guys figured it out.

You guys are smart, Get onto it.

Yeah, I mean I completely disagree, we're not smart.

I think I would like to throw butchery in there. Oh yeah, like carving up a beast, Yeah, having up a beast, because I've seen the competitions they do and they're quite full noise and it's very athletic. Sheep sharing, Oh yes, sheep sharing. Yeah, that would be good amount of sheep. You'd need to bring in barbecuing like a six ten manfield. Yeah, barbecuing. Although food.

Sports are not a big fan of food now, because you're.

Gonna have to bring in a judge. And I don't like when a sport has a judge. Okay, so I don't because then what Gordon Ramsey is gonna sit there and tell you it's basically mastership at that point, because.

I was gonna say, we've talked about this before, but you know what would you meddle in?

I'd middle in lunch making.

I have three children age ten, eight, six lunch now, one's Celiac, one's bluten free goat, and you've got like fast as possible you go to get the lunch together.

But again, you're gonna have to rely on a judge.

Yeah, which is probably gonna be an eight year old child's Yeah.

That's the only one I could compete in o Regon.

I can smash out of school lunch like that, three of them boom, twenty minutes, get out of here.

Yeah, that's then going to be well, I suppose you're judging criteria at that point. It's similar to like bull riding. I guess which again, bull riding should be in there, because there'd be points for speed, yes, but then there'd be penalties.

For taste, Ye that's true.

Or how nutrition? Yeah, taste and nutrition. We've talked about bed making.

Yeah, because I thought that I was a really good bed maker and then I found out that I've actually just been had by my partner. Puzzling, Oh, she reckons that's what she'd do. She went, should be a speed puzzler.

Have you seen those speed puzzling competitions? No?

Oh god, YouTube it. When you get off this speed puzzling that sounds awful, You wait till you see the room of people doing it. Okay, these are exactly the type of people who do speed well. Also, the whole point of a puzzle is like it's real chill and you're just by yourself, just plugging away your little pizza.

That takes all the fun away.

With Rubik's cubing, that should be in there, Yeah, rubics, I don't mind that they're very, very quick. Yeah, and they're all very much on the spectrum.

Another call here, you.

Please, talking about the old motorsports in the Olympics, the equestrians in the Olympics, the man versus beast old Olympics and all that jazz. Why isn't a chariot racing in the Olympics, or at least horse racing.

There should be something like.

That as well. Yeah, look, it's valid because didn't it used to be. I feel like a lot of chariot racing.

Yeah, I feel I feel like.

Well, at least it was at the coliseum, yeah, in Rome. But I feel like back when they started doing that in Athens, they had the little you know thing you go up and down in your chariots.

Yeah.

Well, I don't mean not in the modern Olympics, but certainly also the other he raised a great point about the horse racing thing. So we've got horses in the Olympics and they don't race them, like, yeah, they do the cross country.

But it wouldn't make them dance. Yeah, but that's ridiculous. Why how can we just like they kind of race them, but they make them jump ship but wouldn't that be like, this is the fast this horse in the world. But then it's the horse Olympics.

There already are horses at the Olympics, so either bin them or race the bastards.

About what about camel racing.

Then, Also, just before we get onto the camel's Happy Birthday to horses worldwide for the first of August. We didn't address it then, but yeah, very happy birthday. I think it was the Thursday horses, I said, same day. I said, someone was mentioning a horse in the office. I was like, happy birthday to that horse, and then someone else in the office goes which horse, I said, all of them? They all have the same the rare genetic thing that happens in nature where they're all born on the same day.

Yes, one hundred percent.

I agree camel racing anything you can race, as long as the humans on it, I think it should.

Be in there.

Yes, ostridch oh, I don't know if you could race an too small as Ostrich Biggers Ostrich.

Yeah, Ostrich is huge. Definitely racing Ostrich.

Mutton busting, you know, Shetland ponies. Shetland ponies, if you can ride it, you should race it. And if you can race.

It should be in the Olympics, unless car I knew that was coming. Now the caller here, your fellas woo you from the tron here.

Yeah, it's definitely true that one of you stacks the dishwasher like a Swiss architect and one of you stacks dishwasher like a raccoon on myth and yeah, I'm definitely the fucking the squirrel a just going fucking so fucking perfect everything in I mean speed though, coming back those dishes again just ship.

Oh yeah, yeah, I can see where he's coming from in your relationship.

What are you? What do you reckon? On my record? You're the reckoning on myth. I just don't care. I'm the I'm the Swiss.

Yeah right, I need them like I need I need efficiency when it comes to that, and.

I don't like it when it's all just sucking in there.

Like a crazy Yeah, I don't feel like it's efficient use of the dishwasher.

Yeah, to be fear in our household, there's only the two of us, So like real estate's not an issue, it's not getting packed up. I do look into the work dishwasher sometime, like Jesus Christ.

Oh you know, I don't mean I don't go anywhere near there are you handles up or handles down?

Handles up of the cutlery. Yeah, so that when you pull it out, you're grabbing everything by the handle.

Yeah, I'm no, only sharp items, only sharp knives, because I'm terrified I'm going to put my hand in it and put them in my hand through a knife. Yeah, so any sharp knives go point first. The rest of them are all up.

Oh right.

See we had someone on the show when we were on hold again. I think they're from Fisher and pikel to like end the debate. What way round does it go?

Now?

We actually have a tray at the top. See it's all so it's all flat. Yeah, they said it doesn't matter. It's just it's just personal preference. It's going to wash them the same. When do you have kids trying to stack a dishwasher? Basically it's like basically putting something in a washing machine.

They open the door and they throw the plate down and close that.

But your dishes in the dishwashers what killed.

For the longest time when I was flatting, there would always be one flat made.

It with allho bloody stack the dishwasher like.

This, and as soon as you do that, now I'm never stacking it correctly again. I'm putting cups facing up so they're just full of shit when it finishes and stuff. And if I see you put your favorite cup in there, I'm taking it out and putting it back on the bench. Just because you fucking told me how to stack the dishwasher. I can't. I can't the order. It doesn't matter. They all come out clean. It's a dishwasher. They make it any harder than it needs to be.

But anyway, Yeah, that's uh be interesting to get our partners on you reckon one more caller, here your.

Spirts, OK, I got some intel on channel. I'm a mature man in my mid forty school take a decade. I've got on the sillium husk, and I tell you what, No more skids, no more clean wilets, three perfect tubes.

It's all good.

Tweet Wow.

So we obviously there is a talkback function that runs across most I heeart stations, one of one of you. Do you actually how they mixed up with us as unusual because it has to be listening to the big show on to press their button So my first.

Issue on that was, what the hell's going on on that show? Talking to steel Chat, Yeah, it's disgusting, absolutely disgusting. Second of all, they're obviously listening to this show as well, What the hell's going on on this show? I think we've been to shut it down. We're gonna knock it on the head for today. That'll do us for a Monday. We'll be back tomorrow for a Tuesday edition of the Gender Podcast.

We'll see then.

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