"F*ck. South Canterbury!"

Live for the Export Beer Gadden's Studio and brought to you by Export Ultra, the beer for here. This is the Agenda Podcast for Monday, the fourteenth of October.

The Agenda Podcast, the home of Sporting nonsense and clap Trap, brought to you by Export Vulture.

Despite the fact that a lot of people have said to me there's not much sport on this weekend, We've got a lot to get to, a lot of upsets, and one in particular that we will get to in just a couple of seconds time. But first of all, Lane, big weekend on the punt, but terrible results.

Oh my god. I emptied my account over the weekend. Yeah, thinking, you know, some of them I thought were pretty safe and I'm back to scratch. Not one of them came off, So I pile on top of you know, your MPC, your Heartland's all that kind of stuff. There was also an ice hockey, a six league ice hockey bit that came through from Joe Jury, and I generally trust Joe Jury and his ice hockey bits, So I filled my

Planning for Yeah, I know, you wouldn't have planned anything for the trip itself.

No shit.

I got a little feedback about that as well. You have no meal planning, you've done nothing. But my bits are on. But I completely overlooked the fact that the All Blacks had released fifteen wider Squad members to return to their MPC teams, And in hindsight, looking at the results, you're like.

Oh, that's the difference. Yeah, that's a good point. We'll get to that. How was cow Island by the way, it's great. I love Cowell Island like and those who don't know where it is. It is kind of kind of north of Auckland, off the east coast. It's off Sandspit. It's about a half an hour ferry ride from Sandsport.

It's got no roads on it, it's got no you gotta have your own water supply. There's no main supply there. There's no sewerage system. There's hardly any cell phone reception in most of the bays, and it feels like you're on Great Barrier or some other kind of far flung island because the only way you can get stuff in is by boat. There's no road network or anything. So the Fury is the postal boat as well as that people wait for their mail. There's the male run you

I'm pretty sure wicker are endangered, but there are certain places you can go to, certain islands where they just fucking everywhere.

I tell you what, I did a great bit of parenting where I got all the kids together, these twenty kids lot, I'm a little bit older, like you know, kind of the twelve year olds went so much into it, but any kid under the age of eight I sent them there. I said, thousand dollars cash, bring a wicker to me. And they spent the entire three or four days absolutely terrorizing the Wickers of Cowa Island, but did not get near one. They were convinced they could get one.

Yeah, great weekend long distrection. Yeah, they would have got me as a kid were just speaking.

Me now quickly.

They want to be though, Oh yeah, but they're not scared of you, like they'll come right up to you.

Oh they come straight inside and start nicking your food. Yeah yeah. Yeah.

This is like Rotney Styland, which is where the Quakers live off the coast of Australia, off the coast of Perth there, and I went over there and how do we look around all the buildings and houses and stuff. They've got you know those like little toddler gates that you put across doors. They've got those and it's to stop Quakers. So you can leave your door open, but stop the Quackers from getting in.

Quakers have got those dumb as smiles out. Yeah.

Yeah, they're like kind of yeah, the kid is saying on anything because no natural pridles.

They're not scared of you.

They'll walk straight up to you. My cousin had a staggedo on Rodney St.

Island.

You got on the pass forgot to shut his little Quaker gown work up in the morning.

Just quackers everywhere. They're all in his bag up on the bed. I love the un official name for Rotner. Go get blotto and Rodder the official. Take your boat over and go get blotto and right.

Yeah, it's quite cool because there's a whole little town set up over there, you know, supermarket everything. It's all set up for tourists. And they tell you not to touch them. But they're the most pattable thing you've ever seen.

You like, it's so cut and cuddly. Yeah, they are, and they came right up to you. But good has never kicked quakers though, way, No, that's right. There was a spate of Quaker kicking going on for a while. I mean they are essentially a fluffy football. Yeah, and they're on a tea already.

It's like, you know, like the Aliens came down and said, you've got a slot a droppy, You've got a slot of conversion twenty minutes out. Any animal you go on a quacker? Yeah, Okay, or a bat. I guess a large hit shog. Well, I'm just thinking the back of flying yes, but yeah, it's going.

To fly through the post. So what if it goes off to the left, it's going to cree.

It's going to kick it hard enough so that it doesn't have a choice. And you're on Bricky this morning as well.

Yeah, you feel like, you know, we're just it's like me and you were speed dating Jeremy Wells and you know, so he gives the best blowy because you're on tomorrow. Yeah, we are literally tea meets away from the studio. It's like we're the last people standing in the bar a hundred. Yeah.

I was so excited. I know I've seen it before on this podcast, but I was so excited. But who are they going to get on? It's going to be the old have they can have all these different people back there. And then I was like, yeah, it's going to be years.

I've heard me south I freezing working minight.

Yeah, it's it's just classic dudes in the workplace. We have these brilliant ideas and then we're like, oh, what are you actually to do? Just probably get the same dudes from down there yeah.

We talked desserts today because it's international dessert, was it. Yeah, A lot of chat around Pev. Just a waste of time because he doesn't really fill you up, down down to tongue punching sticky dates, to terramassous to your brandy snaps. Cannot believe termassou is not Japanese. Yeah, no, it's Greeks. Little I think it's Italian. Italian.

Oh, yeah, it is Italian, but I mean, don't ask me because I thought it was Japanese.

And a lot of discussion around French vanilla and what's vanilla and French vanilla. I can tell you, well, French vanilla has got more egg yolks in it. Hints it's at yellowy flavor. Yeah, yellowy look than your vanilla.

Couldn't tell you the flavor difference. That's yeah, controversial take. I don't like dessert. Yeah, if I'm out for dinner, I generally won't have it. I'll get another beer that'll be my dessert.

We had a discussion too around who has dessert every night? Wells has dessert every night, ice cream every night. I'm like my kids do, but I don't grow up.

I'll have an ice cream every now and then if the missus has some of the fruits.

He has ice cream and Hershe's chocolate sauce every night.

Like, is he polemic that's a good point, or is he lactose intolerant and just ships it all out straight away? Actually, that's that's the first thing I think of when I hear someone, a grown man having every ice scream.

Having ice cream at the time he sees run out of hers She's and he was in the middle of the show. He's googling where to buy the giant Hershey's chocolate sauce from it anyway, International dessert. Dare you go? So that was I think we potentially might have shared a lot of listeners. Yeah, well yeah, fair enough.

Only one way to go up from there, right, I want to adress it up the top.

South Caniby lost on the weekend. I couldn't believe it. Oh there, God, this is one on you, because on Wednesday before I left, we were planning, we were planning how South Canterbury We're going to get to Wellings Wellington because we're going to meet them. We're going to fill Barnsy's fruit, yes, and meet a man. And I think you might just sit at the back of it. Have I just cursed them? Yeah, it was. It was.

I've been talking a lot about the the ran Philly Shield challenge because I was so upset that they didn't get to have a crack last year. And yeah, at a certain point I was like, I've talked too much about this and it's starting to feel a bit of a curse. Although I would say though, I've been supporting them for the five year run and they've only lost once, so that's true.

I mean, Mid Canbary, wasn't it done? But could it be any worse?

North Otargo probably would be the only one that be worse, but doesn't get much worse, particularly on this podcast, because it was Mid Canterbury that started the whole Fox South Canterbury thing.

I've got some stats for you though. Yeah, this is like, couldn't have been scripted better?

Oh my god, for me anyway, Yeah, yeah, well, and it was a it was a penalty in the eighty fourth minute that did it. First game at the new stadium that they got down there. It's like, you couldn't have fucking scripted it. When they make the Netflix doco, this will be a perfect but also heartbreaking final episode, and I just I got tagged in so many fucking that's actually yeah, I got tagged in so many Instagram

Fuck this.

There were people that were sending me videos that they had just filmed, and they didn't post it anywhere, they just sent it to me. And the worst part is that most South Canary would just have no idea what the fuck like this podcast is, what any of this shit is? And all they hear is my name being thrown around and people just saying.

Who was this guy? Yeah, yeah, who was he? What the fuck was he? Anyway?

So to try and make myself feel a bit of his some stats over the last there was the five year anniversary of their last defeat in South Canery they finally lost again. That was eighteen hundred and twenty seven days ago. Thirty nine straight games, a record breaking run that began in the twenty nineteen so pre COVID. The record runners reportedly the longest in New Zealand provincial rugby history, beating out Auckland's twenty seven consecutive wins between eighty nine

Yeah, yeah, because that's that that trap that Joe Wheeler fell into with Southland. Yeah, as they held it for the longest period because there was a war for like five years they did not play rugby. Yeah, but they still had the shield.

Yeah, back consecutive games and you know, we talked to Nigel Walsh about like, do you get speed wobbles when you're going like that, and he was basically saying, nah, you don't really go and think about it, because no one goes into a rugby game trying to lose.

He also is something about we've talked to two coaches, oh my god, and both of them are lost.

And Brad Shields, who then lost that weekend as well. Okay, well hang on, who was the last person to come on the show and then win.

David Nick. Yeah, David k He went out in line.

But since him, everyone that's come, if you come on the a SEC's Agenda podcast, you will lose the next sport that you play.

Yeah, he showed he's been on, but he luckily he wasn't in Sri Lanka right and he's not going to dy yet, so he's dodged the bullet there.

Yes, but his team lost his team sure, Oh god, well, I wonder if we could harness that at the AIRB So we should harness it.

But we should start interviewing teams that we don't want.

Whoever's playing Wakoto this weekend, you should, we should interview them, get them on and then now you can potentially win.

So yeah, South Canibury last.

At the end of this we have received so many voicemails over the weekend.

And they are all on.

When you say we, I have received so many voicemails this weekend, it's one note. They're all in the you know, on the same topic. So I've put them all together. So at the end of the show, we'll play them all.

Out montage, the super montage of Fox South.

And the thing is I had to put it together this morning as well, fucking hurt. All right, let's take a break, we'll come back and talk in PC. So we've been talking about it. The National Provincial Championship quarterfinals are on this weekend. And as you said, my first question that I put in that you've actual already answered.

And I was like, that's a sure thing. It's exactly what the pants notorious pants Man Joel Harrison did on Flavor as well. Yeah, on behalf of the ACC this morning, he said he's got eg all over his face, it's dripping off his chin.

Yeah, it wasn't a bad bit at the time. No upsets all over the place. The first one and the biggest one Canterbury, who were three dollars ten at the TB going into this game. Beat Tasman sixty two fourteen, So.

There was a few all blacks return to that squad. Yeah, so that that can every squad. That's the only way you can explain that. I mean, that is outrageous. Tasman had been humming this year. Yeah, and then Taranaki beaten by way Kato by one point fifteen fourteen.

And the story of that game is well, obviously Tony Finale he got yellow carter because he fucking ironed Josh Jake him out.

Man.

Nobody can kill a first five or a half back harder than Semipenny female.

So he gets ten in the bin.

And Whyetta were just hammering Taranaki on their own line. You would have seen the highlight. So they go to clear it, they don't find touch. They swing it back into cook Savage and he snaps off a forty five meter droppy, which in the end was the difference. And it was like watching Prime Francois staying on the high belt. Yeah, it just came out of nowhere and in the end was the was the difference. It was sick. That was like highlight of the weekend. It was so nonchalant as well. Yeah,

It was? Yeah, Aaron Cruden. I do want to guess how old do you think he is? I got a feeling that he's younger than I think he is because he's been around for so long.

Yeah, because he was in that twenty eleven will Yeah, thirty seven.

He is thirty five? Is that it? Yeah? He's thirty five? Fuck he was? He the all Blacksman's like early twenties. Yeah he yeah, squad anyway.

Yeah, yeah, because he burst onto the scene very very early doors and he was one of those dudes that everyone's like, he's too small, the near testical cancer and overcame it all to blows knee out in the Grand Final of the twenty eleven World Cup.

But yeah, Aaron Cruden out there doing the damning another thing. And then Plenty upset Hawks Bay.

I know, so they are Bay Plenty is officially the Bay for the remainder of the summer.

Yeah, well for twelve months until they play again. Surely yep, surely the original Bay.

They are the actual Bay and then Wellington who got a bunch of all blacks back and then they went out in humpt Counties, so turbulent, tumultuous weekend in the National Provincial Championship.

So yeah, they're all good cracking games though, like in terms of you know, apart from the Canterbury Tasman game which was crazy sixty two fourteen.

Yeah, So now this week I think it's working over Wellington and then Canterbury versus Bay of Plenty.

Oh, that would be good. That's going to be really good. I think well Wellington with a top qualifier so they get the home semi against White Cattle and look, I think the Chiefs are going to do the same as what they did to the Hurricanes against Wellington. I'll go down to the cake tin all expectations on Wellington if you hopefully simmer Penny Fee now doesn't get a suspended or anything for ironing a food and.

Well it was only yellow, it didn't get upgraded, didn't Okay, so hopefully he's available.

But yeah, it's god.

You wouldn't want to be steering down Canterbury after that performance, would you?

No?

Ship note no, and do we want to interview bread Shields again. Does Brad Shields want to be interviewed by us again? I'll reach out to him, see what he says, just say, look, we need someone to break the curse. He won't be aware of the curse, so he won't.

I think we just don't address it with Okay, yeah, but fuck if he comes on and then Wellington lose this week, no one's ever going to come on the show again. Never already. Oh I know, yeah shocked. The America's Cup kicked off over the weekend as well. New Zealand lead the America's Cup. It's a first to seven series and we're up three to nil. So they did two races on Sunday. They were supposed to do another two overnight, but not enough wind, so they've postponed one of them tomorrow.

Anyway.

Long short of all of that is they have been comprehensive wins forty seconds, twenty seconds, fifty seconds. But the highlight of the racing across the weekend, as it always is with sailing, it's nothing to do with what's actually happening on the boats and everything to do with dudes having arguments and so have a listen to this audio.

This is Ben Ainsley, sir as Night of the Realm, apologies, Sir.

Ben Ainsley, Night of the Realm talking to our very own Stephen mckiva.

Thanks buddy, fucking.

So if you heard before that, I mean, if you if you go before that. Stephen mcciva asked the weirdests not really a question, it's almost a statement about you know, how's the feeling on the boat? How fastening?

Do you still think think that you can perform as well as the New Zealand?

Yeah, because it seems to me like you you don't, you don't. And and As comes back and this is huge, huge silence, like and he goes, ah, I think that's just a KEYI commentator coming out and you mate, yeah uh And then MacIver comes back with I'll take one on the gin on that one. Thanks buddy. He called him buddy, And to me, I think that's why he caught him a fucking wink. He called him buddy, right, buddy, Nah,

No.

I was on Emirates and there were some shockers on that as well, just some real just waffly questions.

I guess what he's competing against as people who commentate entire replays as if they were actually big light. And so when you look at the bar, the competition that he had to beat out to get this one.

Well he's got They've got Peter Malester on the course as well, Peter Lister. He's on the course and he's got some chops. He knows what he's talking about. And then they've got a couple of others. But then he's like the ball by ball sailing one and it's it is terrible and have it like it's a hot mic situation. Off it but have listen to it again. Thanks buddy, fucking wanker no matter what happens. Now, that's the highlight of the night of the Realm? Has he? That is

I was reading some of the comments on social media about this clip because I was trying to find it, and it was just a lot of poems being like this guy's always seemed like a bit of a wake himself.

You know, I get it. I've got a lot of feedback the other way saying I like baiting it being Ainsley even more now after they call me guy over a fucking wake. The thing is America's cap. I'm finding it very difficult to get into because it's in the middle of the night. Yes, I'm a wake up look at the headline kind of going now, but no, I don't even know. And do I care? I'm like, I'm struggling. I've got mixed emotions around Do I care because it's overseas? Yeah?

It's such a good point if it was guaranteed, like yeah, it has to be in the Challenges country.

Yeah, but this is the problem.

It's such a rich guy sport and they just love stacking the deck in their favorite and so that's what they're going to do, and so it's never going to come down here so far away for everyone.

Yeah.

Yeah, so you're right, it does take the window of the sails. But I was talking to him this morning when I was going to jim Want gym this morning. It was back yeah, back in biceps and he was like, I told him, I that's three now, and he goes, oh shit, I have to watch the races when I get into work this morning. I was like, you're not going to watch the fucking reef. Yeah, he was like, yeah, I don't know. I just said that.

I love that. I don't know why I said that. I don't know. I just oh shit, I'll have to watch the replay. Then there is I'll look at it. You got to watch. Just watch the replay of McKay have been called a fucking week. Yeah, that's brilliant.

Look.

We've teamed up with our mates at Helenstein's Lane to present the ACC's Best of twenty twenty four Warriors edition. We want to know what the best moments were on and off the field for the twenty four Warriors season. So over the past few days, we've been asking you to vote on the best Warriors newcomer, the best off field performance, best try, best moment of the season, blah

All right, we'll say one more quick break. We'll come back with yours Please.

Yours please, brought to you by Leader Home of the Lap.

And as I mentioned at the top of the podcast, we received so many and we'll get to a lot of them tomorrow. I think that we're about various different things, but the majority of them all came through on the one single topic. So without any further ado, here are all of the yours pleases addressing South Canterbury.

Just saying that are South Canibary lost to Mid Canterbury? Are you are the chursem and I and fucks South Canabury? Don't worry about bluddy g Laine being the grim mock? How about Maniah South Canterbury losing? Who are Taranaki's first Shield challenge next year? Mania?

Fuck Northern Districts?

Alright, you cock tacklers PD from christ Church, former Ashbred College alumnight and Hammer's player just watched the Mighty Men from MD Canbury absolutely read for timorary tosses in the semi It was a torrid affair with more knock ons in an AFL game until the Hammers punched home without a last minute victory. Anyways, miss empathy, fuck South Kennerbury get a glanee minya.

Earlier in the week, MANI are you reckon mckennery weren't even in the semi finals, but jeez, they just tipped up South Canerary.

Hey fuck South Canterbury.

Just a missions for til oil. Fuck the Marcos, delicious Shark things, soup for dinner on Sunday night up the Red and Blacks, Aultimate and Iah fuck my many absolutely curse South Canterbury.

I'll get him and I dag for me on like Station Mid Canterbury. Hopefully ge Lane's giving me in the morning off workfella to say you put the Clavers on your own team. It will be the understatement of this century. How Sally my shoe feel?

You thought m Kenary win even the finals?

By you report your soul boy hey at less, you won't have to worry about getting flights to the neck. You for a shield challenge?

Still going with him more?

Maybe it's like you thought I was dumb and night the whole district could be blaming you.

Why is it all have social media?

What a Anice Stewart do? You can never return home across the ring and tell a river boy your face is going to be painted on their stupid yellow sheet over that stupid.

Wallabe down there.

It's going to be a kill order, search and destroy. Anyway, I didn't even need to say it.

Yeah, it's like you know when someone leaves a job or they've been there for like twenty or thirty years and they get people from their past to leave an audio message and they put it together to emotional music, and you know, and it's always quite heartfelt and always quite genuine. And I love the fact that it's put together. It's just a bunch of people telling you to go fuck.

That was heartfelt, though they all meant to, certainly heartfelt, but there was glee in their voices.

Oh that's good. That is good. And thank you all those people who took the time out to press that little talk back button, the little microphone on your iHeart

All well, I'm not putting another montage together. I'll not need to take another montage together. We're n have to find someone else.

I can't take it.

Oh my god, it's I thought for sure that one that was addressing Tony.

I was like oh here we go the oh. By the way, also, fuck you you. Oh well, well, at least Tony took a little cop copped a small stray, but not as much as you wanted, all right.

Thank you to everyone who sent that, and thank you to everyone who listened. Thank you to South Kenterbury for going undefeated for five straight years. Knock this thing on the head for a Monday and weact for a Tuesday episode of the Gender podcast tomorrow.

Sen it you've been listening to the ACC's Agenda podcast, brought to you by Export Ultra. For more episodes, like and follow on iHeartRadio or wam you get your podcasts