Life in the Expert ber Gaden Studio and brought to you, as always by Export Ultra the beer for here. This is the Agenda Podcast for Monday, the fourth of November.
The Agenda Podcast, the home of Sporting Nonsense and clap Trap, brought to you by Export Ultra.
Paul Malharty on the show towards the end from the TB to preview the Melbourne Cup, which is tomorrow, We're going to talk about the Keewis black Caps everything in just a minute, is it? Is it? Kuy Fawkes today tomorrow? Tomorrow? November?
Yeah, never remember fifth November something?
Yeah, last something? Remember remember the fifth of November.
That's the one. And then, like I said last week, free swing for anyone who wants to shoot guns yep, in public. It's a free swing tomorrow night. Because no one can tell the difference between a Roman candle exploding and a shotgun going off.
That is ridiculous. It's only flash. Neighborhoods like, oh my god, was that gunfires? When has there been fucking gunfire in the Sutton Birkenhead? You know what I mean? You know, you know if someone's letting off a gun. Yeah, the fireworks already started in my neighborhood. That drove me up the wall.
Oh yeah, it's there everywhere. I was playing around the golf yesterday. I think you were as well.
By the looks of you. I was there on Saturday.
Yeah, but I was playing gold with my son at four point thirty in the afternoon and a whole volley of fireworks went off at four thirty, blazing sunshine. I was like, who the fuck is doing that?
I think there's teenage kids across the road from me. They're doing the same thing. It's like, what a waste of time money.
I feel like their parents are out and they've let them off or something. It's like, what's what's the point?
Well, this goes back to Jerry's theory on combining all of the events around this time of year to one weekend. So I think you might have a better grasp on this than I do.
They like savings, yeah, late day, yeah, guy fawks, and trick or treating, So you have the trick or treating when it's still light. Still dark, Oh, it's when it's light, and then daylight savings kicks in and the next night you have guy fawks, and then you have the day off on Monday.
So the other way around. So it's dark.
So it's dark for the guy fawks because at the moment you've got to stay up till fucking eighty nine o'clock.
Yeah, and then you switch it around spots. So you want to trick or treat during the daylight, yes, yeah.
Yeah, yeah because you because you do walk to look out for the pdos, so you need it to be light.
Yeah. And then yeah, da daye s having Halloween guy fawks and Labor weekend and have a day off the sleeper weekend.
Yeah.
No one gives a shit about guy fawks. You don't have to have it on that day. Same with trick or treating. Halloween doesn't have to be on that day, No it doesn't.
You just said it.
And Labor Day it's just the public holiday. Who kires And then daylight saving sets tabatry, so it's just someone combine them for frist sake. It's punishing for parents as well.
And that's why we're asking for your vote at the upcoming election at the ACC party because we're going that's that We've only got one policy and it's there.
Yeah. That and creating a super weekend and has to be Aukland, sorry, everywhere else where we do everything in one weekend, So we do the v Eights, the America's Cup, oh, the Auckland Marathon, any other international sale GP. Everything just happens. And one three day period up in Auckland Super weekend.
So we can all clear our schedules. Yes, and the beginning of that weekend we sing the national anthem and that's it done for every event. One harket, yeah, and that's it done for the rest of the year. All right, let's start with the biggest sporting thing that happened across the weekend, and it had me glued to my couch. Esaid, I finished at such an awesome time yesterday, Oh my god. And it was the black Caps going up going into
the history books three nil whitewash of India. I mean, it was so tense that even my missus was sitting there watching the game. She never watched his test match cricket. It was so good.
I didn't think we had enough runs. If I was on it's neither I looked at it and I was like, oh, that's probably maybe thirty forty short. I reckon to putting some serious pressure on them, and then they were forty for five and I was like, year boy. And then I basically went straight to a TV because I wasn't actually paying any attention to it till someone texted me yeah, and straight to a TV. And I was gripped for the next hour and a half as it ebbed and flowed.
Is that Russian pant? I was like, Oh, this little fatty's gonna take it away from us. And then he got out, got reviewed a couple of times, then he was another review, and then it was and then he stood there and argued he stood next to the umpires, like us, mate, it's all Paul rifle up in the in the box. You can't influence us. The rifleman's up there doing his work. And I think the rifleman looked
at that scenario and said, you know what, fuck you you're out. Yeah, you're out to sit there and chirt the other armpike.
Yeah fuck yeah yeah yeah, but did you see I think it was during the lunch break they played a clip, a slow motion clip of him doing like a handspring. It was shockingly athletic. He got a run up and like went just straight forward and just vaulted off his hands and back onto his feet again.
He was he showing off?
Was he? Yeah? He's not all it was in the warm up before the game. It was one of the wildest things I've ever seen. It makes me think guy could probably do it.
But yeah, that's the first time that India have ever been whitewashed in a series at home.
Well South Africa got them two nils.
Oh in a three match yes, three series. This is another wild stat It is the first time New Zealand have won three Tests in a series because we only ever played two match series or three, and we've never won all three.
Yeah, so no one's ever done four or five either, so this is it's the only one that counts a two match series.
So so good, so good, and this is let me talk about it on the talked about on the Mat and Jerry Show this morning, which I think you're.
On tomorrow, don't did name it?
Matt's not on that show, yeah, sorry, the Hedichy Breakfast with Jeremy and Friends. And it's kept our World Test Championships alive. Yes, just so, we've got to beat England three nil, so that's the first hurdle.
So I wrote the rankings down so Oz, India, Sri Lanka, then US, but US in Sri Lanka and I think South Africa as well, we're on like fifty four percent win loss and then India on fifty eight. They've played three more games than US two wins at a drawer, but.
They've got five tests in Aussie this summer and that is going to be tough for them. That's a good if Australia beat them four one or four nil, then not five nil, because five nil Australia to the top. Then we're in with a chance. And then South Africa need to beat Pakistan and Sri Lanka at home. They've got two tests seat against which is doable. And then then this is a hard part. Then Sri Lanka need to beat Australia at.
Home for us to qualify, and we need to beat We basically need to sweep England. Yes, that's all.
That's the one job we need to do is sweep England and then the rest is up to the rest of the teams the world. Yeah, the rest of the word is all I'm saying is there's still a chance. But this is I mean, it was ridiculous when we won two. It was ridiculous.
When we won one in a row.
We celebrated the first one, didn't we Yeah, and we're like, whoa ship? I was winning fifty years for whatever it was.
And the whole series. Here's how it's gone. And we bowled them out for forty six in that first one, and then we're like, yeah, but what are they going to do to us? And then we won and we're like, oh shit, yeah, but what's the pit's going to look like? In the second? Oh, we won another one. You don't win three sentence out. He was the hero of the last go oh fuck.
We won all three YEP ages back in Mumbai, back in his favorite ground, the place.
Of his birth.
He loves the wink, loves the wank. He has the wink, and we beat them with spin. We beat them at their own game. We talked to Wags this morning. He's got a new book out and he was talking about the fact that you know, we've got simulated Indian conditions and these indoor nets. They've got now Anui and a few other places where they can simulate the conditions over in India. Hence, I think the batting against the spinners over there was amazing. It was it was really good,
like in terms of what we used to do. It was attacking and then the obviously the spinners. My big concern was that ages last year match in New Zealand because we don't do India all the subcontinent again until twenty twenty six.
I think, and I think my age about thirty three.
Or no, he's thirty six.
Was he older them?
Yeah?
Yeah, you're saying they just hope for me here. Yeah, yeah, that is disappointing. Yeah, but I just think what I enjoyed watching. I enjoy watching Test matches that spin more than just green seamers. Yeah, that's so much. I mean we're only scoring two and fifty runs, but there's so much happening within those two and fifty runs.
You know, there's nothing like a low scoring run. Chase Thriller. Yeah yeah, he was thirty six two weeks ago. There you go. Yeah, he jes ptel, So that could have been his last year again for New zealing because he's not going to play in New zeal He's not going to play a New Zone.
I reckon we should try and put some of those pitches together, like what the technology Run's got now, just what a couple of dust bowls. A couple of dust bowls.
They're prizing them with a dust bowl and yeah, and come out and go what unveil a dust Hagley be where you do it? Yep, just start rolling the pitch. Now, I've seen dust bowls in South Canerby.
You can do it. Yeah what.
I hope they're still partying, You're still going because they deserve it. Darren Mitchell had a great speech at the end of the game where he was kind of rubbing it in their noses by saying, hey, we're just a bunch of kiwi's. He just loved playing cricket. You know, they're a bunch of super overpaid superstars. He didn't say that, you see, they're a bunch of superstars.
He didn't say it with his words.
Now you implied it that we just Kiwis he just love?
Yeah? Yeah?
Is this the real?
Fuck you? Yeah?
You? You underestimated us and we pulled your pants down and spent your little bodies.
Is one of those things where you see those for some reason, watching India, you think there's so much better than us, and anytime you see Kee we in one of those situations. Oh fuck, I don't actually think it's like Stephen Adams in the NBA. You're like, look at Dwight Howard and these dads. You're like, look at the state of these guys, like we never produce athletes like that, and Steven Adams has throwing these guys around here. Oh okay,
so yeah, I can. I'm not that good. Jimmy Neisham, I mean everyone, it was all over social media last night. Jimmy Nisham, what do you eat for food? The stud formerly Little Lamb say he looks like an ol packer. He posted onto his Instagram story. Is this the greatest Kiwi sporting achievement of this century? Oh okay, that's a hot take. That is a hot take. I've written down
a couple of things that sprung to my mind. Would you'd have to probably put the goat and the boat in there in terms of what she's achieved achieved over that rugby world cut back to back, yes, eleven fifteen, the World Test Championship, Yeah, yeah, I think this is more impressive than the World Test Championship. Yeah. And then the time I charged down a conversion against Temuka and O nine.
So those are the Yeah, that's the Big Four. How long did they how long did that person take the line up there?
Kick? Well, the dirty secret is it never got high in the crossbar. That's how I managed to charge it down.
They kicked it into you. It was never gone over. You were just running back to half way. I was way offside as well anyway. Yeah, so I don't know. I can't. It's a hot take. There is people trying to compare it to our series victory in Australia. First was back in eighty six, so I think that was when.
So, but I think that.
The Australian team at that time we talked about it this morning with Mike Hessen. The Australian team at that time were ranked like seventh in the world, you know, And so I think although it was a big quite a big task winning in Australia, they went the greatest team, whereas India other world's number one team, they are ranked number one in their home conditions and we beat them.
And they've got all their dudes, you know, it's not like this is a down for them.
It is.
So it's great. It's great stuff. And unfortunately I've had to cancel every single town hall and I've got some big news. The black Caps Supporters Support Group has been disbanded. Oh you've torn it down, torn it down, taking the t shirts off sale. Looked up they could be Look, it's not saying that we can bring it back. We'll probably bring it back at some stage, but for now, the black Caps Supporters Support Group is no longer. We
do not need to hold each other. No, you just celebrate with your friends.
That's right. Give a big middle finger to Indian cricket vans. Correct, Yeah, and just ride this.
I tailed into a couple on the comments as well, social gods.
Well, the funny thing is that we posted that Coli meme again, the Tiger King meme yet again, and I was scrolling through the comments looking for the Indian fans waiting in, but it was all just kiwis. Yeah. For the first like three hundred comments was just people just being like so stoked that we won.
There was one one Indian fangaming and kind of broken english Shane, how many ic C CAPSU one? Ha ha ha? And then I wrote about what about Southampton kunt and I didn't didn't come back to me. Yeah, I might have had a few beers when I wrote that, I was watching that. Yeah, yeah, it's fucking just I don't know. It felt so good, so good.
The image that they projected over the top of Wankidie Stadium with Tom Latham and the like series score. I just wanted to screenshot that and make my bloody yeah screensaver. It's just giant. He's got his arms folded, three nils so good, suck it. What are they saying over the are do you record like the dapers or anything.
I guarantee this saying just doesn't count. It's all about Australia. We're just preparing for Australia. The results in Australia are the ones that count. Yeah, we need to focus on that. They'll be they'll be washing over with that.
Yeah, that's bullshit, bullshit, although I.
Can't imagine you're going to get away with it. They've just been humiliated by a little country in the South Pacific.
Yeah. I always wonder what the media reports on it over there, like do they talk.
About it or do they come it's not as controlled as say, like in the Middle East. I think they're still open criticism.
But like if you watch Krooking FO there's like no because that's Indian owned. Yeah, they do not ship on the Indian team and they gloss over any of the losses as.
It was funny. We were between to Mike Hesson this morning. Jerry said, see, I'm going to text the other thing. He made it out. He goes, isn't it great to beat these arrogant blah blah blah blah, and like it goes, Look, I work in India. I'm not I'm going to pass judgment on that his house was purchased and he's not going to weigh in on that. He was good.
He was good about it though. Yeah, it's just so good. It's just so good. I could I could just sit in front of the smocrophone for an hour and say it's so good, but we won't. We are selling a yute before we walked in here. All thanks to Auto Trader. The bids are up to seven and fifty, which is which is still a bargain. It's still about half of
those bids in me. But there there's about five thousand dollars worth of stuff that comes with us because some of the other stations that we work with have chipped in. So if you place the winning bid, not only do you get the yute and all of the proceeds we're going to donate to November End Zed. They've filled the glove box and the boot with all sorts of stuff.
We've got one thousand dollars worth of petrol vouchers which you will need, a thousand dollars worth of grocery vouchers, plus iPhone sixteen from our mates at ZM, and a Marshall amp Bear fridge dropped into the tray as well.
Yeah, I think I've chucked the Makita site radio in there as well.
I've seen that too, So there is over five grand worth of stuff in there, So like you're already might not the at least just bid five grand, So whatever you're actually there's a few different ways you can skin it in your own head. You can say I'm making you know this this charitable donation, or I'm buying five thousand dollars worth of stuff and then I'm only paying two and a half grand for the ute. Yes, you know, there's all sorts of different ways that you can justify
this purchase to yourself. But at the end of the day, what it really is is a sick ninety eight straight six.
Yep it's a gas guzzler. Oh yeah, no doubt about it. I'm not going to hide the fact that you're going to be fueling that thing. Yeah, hardcore, but it sounds. But when you start it up and when you excite that, I'll hum on your balls on that brand new seat.
I've set it before. I'll say it again, an ev bloody. Even a little hatchpat doesn't make my balls tangle, you know, and this thing does. In fact, that should have been the first thing in the at the top of the listing. Yeah, this thing, this thing will make your balls'll make your balls tangle. So go and go and go and invest in that thing. It's running for the whole month, so I expect that this will ramp up towards the end there.
Yeah, it just text ute to three two three and you'll get a direct link to auto trader.
Yep, brilliant. All right, let's take a break. There's still so much sport to get to it. We'll be right back. On Saturday night, Lan I went down to my local Risa with Mconi and chris Key and Storm and we watched the football and then we watched the league. It was actually great Saturday.
It was next level that Saturday because I went to the Breakers. So I watched the last part of the football on my phone and transit to Spark Arena and saw the two goals and was celebrating with people around me, and then I went to the Breakers game which started at seven, so I watched a bit of the Breakers and then the league kicked off and then the cricket
was on at the same time. So I was at the Breakers watching the Breakers play the Adelaide thirty six's and had one phone playing Toma versus the Kiwis and the other phone I had Black Caps India and someone was sitting behind me going you get running in a very complex operation, and I was like I was flocking in between punting as well. The Breakers that flew under the radar, but they played out of their skins today. Yeah,
they scored one hundred and eight points season. Christ Jackson cat cart right, he was off, he was going off his head.
He he is a good player. Man, he is sick. I'm stoked that we managed to re sign him as well. He was at the Trevors Scott concert and I made I said that guy's the old staff for the Breakers, and she's like the big, tall white guy there. I was like, no, a little bit the other next to him, I said, can you just just quietly so he doesn't notice?
Can you just go stand back to back with him? He's the same height as my missus. Does it, it doesn't matter. And I tell you who was there who got everyonegoing. Taco Bell was there, the seven foot monster Taco Bell. We call them Tago Bell. Yeah, Taco full of Taco Bell, seven seven six. So Taco Bell was walking around the outside of the court and he was with a guy who was six six. It made him look like a dwarf. My kids were like, I'm just trying to get on court and get photos with him. Yeah,
but hopefully he can play. He's such a monster. Yeah, it's out of control.
It is.
It's ridiculous. He looks like an alien. It's like if you're that tall and you can walk in chew gum at the same time like you're in the team.
Oh yeah, hopefully he gets to run. But yeah, they absolutely spot. They were outsiders in that game, and they thumped them by about thirty forty points.
So at home, that's at home court advantage. When they've got you know, when you get ten thousand dudes filling out Spark Arena and watching League on their phones. There's no atmosphere like and cricket and League which we lost twenty five twenty four to Tonga. This was a bruising game man, straight from the outset today. Yeah, the hits, it was like the biggest hip men of the NRL. Yeah, just put face to face and told to run it straight. Yeah.
A little disappointed in the hooker they were two separate and also they need to both be going at the same time.
Yeah. And the irony as the all black one got face to face with the English. Yeah, the English went up to half wait and we went over the tim meadline and got in their face and I was like, fuck, yeah, that's.
What I want, and this is what we want. We all want that. And then a cruel irony that Keimis didn't do that and it should have been going at the same time, because the fact that would have looked sack if they're both gone, you know, right on each other's faces, still going. They came out tongue and it was like when they scored first and I was like Jesus Christ. I was like, okay, they got ten minutes of like, you know, fizz and then yug gonna run up.
They didn't. They kept going all through that first half. They smashed us, and in the second half it settled a little bit. We started to score, Sean Johnson started getting the boys fizzed up. But they were just as good, I mean, evidently better than we were. And I don't know, it just looked like we had we had our chances to win it. Sean Johnson had to drop goal. A Sarka had a drop goal. Probably should have taken the tackle on, but anyway, penalty as well that was missed.
Again I keep saying, take the post off the pitch. Here's my flaming hot take from this game. The state of origin rules need to be changed in the NROL because they had two origin players on the field, because they are a Tier two nation and we're not allowed state of origin players. So for example, Kaylen Ponger had to decide to play for Australia even though it's eligible for the Kiwis because he wanted to play state of origin.
If you are playing for Tong or some more, you don't have to make that decision.
So when do they stop becoming Tier two how often they have to beat a Tier one nation to become Tier one.
Today is what I'm saying right now. They need to. So Olaka and Kafusi were their two origin players. Kaufusi is one of eight Tongan players born here in New Zealand, six of those in Auckland, one in Hamilton and then one in Wellington. Saliva Harvili, Tuylola here and Jason Tomalola have all played four the Kiwis and now they play
for Tonga. It's not a level playing field anymore. And so I'm calling for the Australian Rugby League Andreid and Peter Orlandi's got to come together, change the rules, level the playing field. It's unfair.
No, they'll never do it. Australia first mate, it's Australia's game rugby. Australia without rugby league, yeah, there's no Australia. So they're not going to change.
So basically what happens now is if you or if someone or Tongue and descent, which I think about eighty percent of the league is now, and you don't make the Australian team, you just go play for tong or some more. Because if Izzy call you back up. Yeah, you're straight back in there.
And you can play Origin, which they make about sixty grand Aussie a game.
That's right, But then we're hamstrung and all of these players that are New Zealand born, players that should buy rights be in our team, are now over there playing for those two point level the playing field.
Man, it's a good point. So we knocked out. We're out.
Yeah well yeah, well, I mean we haven't won anything, so yeah we're out. And then what Tongue Australia Final. Yeah what, I'll tell you what, I'll tell you when they'll level the playing field as if Tongui Australia. Yeah, they were like the Origin players are out. Yeah yeah, so yeah, that's that's my flaming. I'll take Aukland FC. I watched that game, Like I said at the at the Rezu, it's just so good having a bit of a rivalry.
Great, it's good, and there was it sparked up the Phoenix fans too, and that was what their biggest crowd and seasoned crowd I've ever had.
I was saying this to Piney on Friday, this is only good for the Wellington Phoenix. Yeah. The introduction of this because now people give a shit like me, I give a shit about the game. Still don't know what's happening on the field, but I give a shit about the rivalry there and it's good to watch. And that port end looked insane.
Yeah, they looked a bit lonely, that didn't they because they had empty sections either side of them, and then they were just put into this kind of a pin, little kind of pot of fans which seemed a bit over the top. To be honest. There's this three to violence which is never going to happen if you've been amongst those fans, any of those fans, No one no violent, No one's bones, there's no violence. There's no violence. So the return Derby is in about four weeks time, in
the sixth of December, back at Gohard Stadium. So that is going to be a cracker.
Yeah, that is going to be a cracker. We I noticed so many stead of the ship hats in the crowd. What I will say is, and obviously the team's only what three weeks old, two weeks old, three weeks old, I haven't really figured out what we do when we celebrate.
If you're an Auckland fan because they scored it and they jumped the hoardings and were in front of the port and it was just like, all right, Auckland FC fans need to figure out one thing that happens when I reckon it's we flood the stands with stead of the ship hats, they take them.
Off and wave them around there, raven around the head, like the soldiers leaving for World War two? Yeah, or do they throw them in the air like they're graduating and then just try and gather them afterwards.
Yeah, that's not bad. Yeah, it'll be quite hard to control.
Yeah, we get your hat back, but quite bad. Of one person's got nets, Oh my god. Yeah, it's through the port like that, who's the port? Because who's take down the pool? They would be a master playing from the Phoenix, from the from the Yellow Fever.
Yeah, introduced nets into the port.
Just get one story of the ship hit.
That's up bad and then we're just like the dowsing people on the way out, treading them all for curtoos. So yeah, I was. I was pretty excited by that game. The one goal, everyone went nuts. Then they piled on a second one and it's like.
Yeah, they threw everyone four day the Phoenix, so desperate to score.
Do you say that head clash? I didn't. Actually there was a fucking banger of a head clash two dudes. And it's worse than rugby or league because in rugby and league you're bracing for contact. These two dudes, they were just going for the ball, not looking at each other and just full on a nogging on noggin, split wide open. One dude's wrapped up like the mummy. It was at all time. Hi, though one of them went off? Did one of them go off? But I think one
of them got to stay on? Yeah, there is an HIA protocol just in this year, I think, but he unlikely he didn't stay off of very long, right.
And also it's like do they have to do HIA every time they hit the ball sometimes you get copping.
In the head. Yeah. Anyway, And also what a massive weekend of sport because the All Blecks played and we still haven't talked about it.
No, and Liam Lawson more points for him and yeah, he came ninth, so he qualified fifth, which is amazing. He was fifth on the grid. But drop back a strap On came from like fifteenth on the grid.
To win it.
But most importantly he beat Sugi Petties again but not as teammates and Noda, but he's in the points again. So that's what you could ask for. Yeah, from Liam Lawson, that is huge.
So the All Becks won by two squeaky bum time there was a drop goal that could have won it. Yeah. It was back and forth, up and down. I thought when we scored, we looked great. Obviously Wallace to Teddy looked great. Had to play way more than he wanted to because Cody Taylor got yes, and he's unavailable for the Island game. Yes, body as his body that they're like potentially two of our best players right now. Well, particularly if you're a Razor and you've just benched Mackenzie
for body. Yeah, Nagata ring Damien, Yeah, we have to on since morning.
Yeah. But anyway, so yeah, I thought of more looked great, like a few line out throw issues, but yeah, but a wrecking ball around the around the park.
He was great. Get one of the wingers to throw it in.
It gets yeah, who cares where they used to didn't they?
Cheslin Cobby is still doing it for South Africa, is he? Yeah? Every now and then if they're out on his wing, he'll throw into the line out so they can have an extra forward in the thing. I see.
That's so that's the crazy thinking of that crazy man.
It is.
Hey, just be going back to Liam Lawson. That was our hunch. That was our agenda hunch him to score points.
Yeah, so there you go.
So if you followed us in on that, then you'll be in with the money.
And speaking of T A B and hunches, let's take one more quick break because tomorrow is the Melbourne Cup. So we will be joined by paulmulhity right after this break. Well, it's a great honor and privilege to have live and in the flesh Paul Malhity from the tar B. Paul, big week for you.
Anything on this week, it's just get my mind at the moment. There's something on tomorrow. Look it'll come to me. Yeah, it'll definitely come.
Well, there's a couple of races on tomorrow. I going to tell you down there in Duneda.
That's it here on the swinger wing.
No, it's it's the Melbourne Cup tomorrow. Everyone's talking about it. Some punishes will show up to their workplace and a suit for no reason tomorrow. I feel like if you're watching it, you can sharpen a suit.
And you also can I say, if you're not into it, and you know some people are, oh yeah whatever, grow up, okay, because this is a great excuse to take the afternoon off work. So even if you're not really into it, just pretend like you're into it. We're a suit to we're a fascinator and say it's Melbourne Cap Day. I'm fucking passing off at three in the afternoon to go and take in the vibes and you're not going to stop me. Don't sit in your computing a camp three o'clock.
Twelve o'clock.
Yeah, I just in case our bosses are listening, of course, because we're leaving at twelve at a full time bar. But yeah, anyway, that'll.
Be a great place to meet tomorrow.
It will be. Yes, we might see you down there, poor. But my first question, it's the same question I ask every year, and funnily enough, it's the same answer every year, but I can still never remember it. What race and what times? The actual Melbourne Cup itself.
It's fairly easy because it's the same every single year.
He's a bit fat. Go on lane quarter past five.
It's five o'clock.
Well it's it's scheduled to go at five o'clock, right, okay, And it's usually meeting seven yeah Flemington. Yeah, in fact, it's always meeting seven Flemington Race seven. If you want to use the twenty four o'clock seventeen hundred, oh that's easy, seven seventeen okay, I remember, I remember that. If I come back next year.
Yeah, and the same question, oh well I can't. That's the first thing. Everyone's like, what time is the sexual because when people are watching it in the office, they will always be like, oh, is this the Melbourne Cupula? Well it is, but this one isn't. But then the next one, this is the bloody swiper vescence play to it.
One of the one of the great ruses we did when Lee Hart and Jason Hoyt were on Bougier, I remember, and I was looking after Hodaki and they came out.
And said what do we do around the Melbourne.
Cup And I say, I don't know. You can take it live if you want, or maybe just play last year's and so they did, and I didn't quite realize how much of a kerfuffle that would cause because they played the one, but halfway in the race, they were like, this doesn't like they made it. So it wasn't, but people believed it. And the horse that won the year before was also in that race. That happens, and so people were celebrating that they put money on it, and
then they started ringing. Of course I didn't because I thought like the show was built on just bullshit, so I presumed them no, And yeah, the backlash was quite severe. People were and misleading people, and the tab got involved. I mean TB have come along ways and said I think they've got a sense of humor. But about you know, five years ago, must.
I'm still working totally.
So is there a prohibitive favorite tomorrow?
Paul?
For the for the actual race seven Melbourne Cup, it's a.
Fairly wide open field this which makes it so much more interesting. There's no out and out, hot hot favorite.
And we were saying this morning, people always say, are the favorite never wins at the Melbourne Cup? Is that true? Well?
Never is a it's a very very long time, so I wouldn't say that, But favorites don't perform very well in Melbourne Cups. The last favorite to win was Fiurente back in I think it was twenty thirteen actually, so it says about eleven years ago that was the last time. So if you like backing favorites, you might want to mix your sort of beds up of it. And I
have a little spread sort of thing. But the fact that this year there's a couple of joint favorites and they've sort of been battling away to see who is favorite, it makes it just a wee bit different this year.
Yeah, and it's good for the office sweepsteak as well. It's a bit more even exactly.
Usually you pick out a couple and then the guy that gets a favorite thinks he's a good thing.
No he's not.
But if you like in that sort of from around nine dollars to twenty dollars, someone a runner that's paying around that, they are the ones that usually, in fact the last sort of four or five years, you'll find that the winners have paid between nine dollars and twenty twenty five dollars.
That's sort of the sweet spot. So what are some of the names that are standing out to you or what are people saying to you around the office? Or around the traps.
See now you've got to block out the why noise because here's always a lot of chatter around and everyone's a Melbourn. Everyone's got to everyone has a tap, so you'd be taking the whole field if you listen to everyone. So if we have a look, why don't we look at the key We runners first? Yes, and we've got three in the race, the best chance of the key We runners. And he's paying a web money opened up at seventy one dollars, touch fifty one dollars I think
overnight now just back out to sixty one dollars. Number six. Sharp and Smart trained by Graham and Debbie Rogerson. Sharp and Smart to be ridden by Mickey d oh Now. Sharp and Smart he's a five year old. Two years ago he was the best three year old in New Zealand. He won the New Zealand Derby. He won the group won Herbie Dyke against the older horses.
He won the Herby Dike.
He won the Herbie Herby Dark Right, he won that. Now he's had a few issues and.
Off the field.
He was late to the bus.
I can't so he hasn't found that form that he showed as a three year old he can definitely he should get the two miles right, and he ran a very very encouraging third at Mooney Valley a few weeks ago, so if he was to find the form that he had as a three year old, he's definitely a nice little each way.
Go damn it, I've just put on the nose.
Jesus trigger trigger, I'd just stuck it on the I just stuck ten on the nose.
I'll tell you, well, I hope I get a commission out of this one. This is great, so he should. He's probably our best chance. Outside of that, We've got Positivity number twenty one, trained by Andrew Foresman, written by Winona costing one hundred and one dollars at the moment, and Trust in You to be written by Mark Duplass who used to ride here in New Zealand.
Yeah, now rides.
Over in Australia and Queensland, trained by Bruce Wallace and Grant Cooksley, also out at one hundred and one dollars. So the three key we runners they're rouffies.
Yeah, should we say longish lass put another ten dollars so I.
Have I was thinking because I've tried to. I've tried to follow the form on Melbourne Cups in previous years, and this year I've changed my tactic. Poor mighty yes, I've gone for what I think the commentary will sound the best, you know when they cross the line and the race caller, so I've gone.
For that one smooth operator.
So I've gone for land Legend right at fifteens and warp speed at thirty one because i could see you guys come on our.
Homes trake warp speed.
He is at warp speed and takes him.
That's what I've That's what I'm going for.
So I'm going vibe on commentary with a land Legend. Now he's a Melbourne Cup legend. Correct here the line that the line they write themselves warp speed and land Legend right themselves. So I've gone for futures on them. I got warp speed at thirty one and land Legend at fifteen.
Right, warp speed? What is it withdrawny?
I put these on like about three weeks ago.
That is a shame, isn't it, lad scratch?
So now warp speed is currently twenty six dollars when the Melbourne So you got to weave it a value thirty one dollars. It's the Japanese horse a couple of weeks ago around in the Coolfield Cup. Slightly disappointing.
You get to say, saving yourself, saving itself language barrier.
Although there was some would say there was a bias on the track. You had to be up near the front right at Calfield that day he wasn't right.
So some would say you left to be up to the front every day.
Certainly when you get to the finishing face, that's always a good thing.
Where up front it's the finishing face.
And I've done the barrier draw I've done the barrier drawer.
Yeah, okay at warp speeders jumping out of three?
Okay, that is that good? Is that what I mean?
Look at the barrier drawer? How many horses are there's about.
Forty a lot of horses, twenty four twenty four horses. Where in the barrier drawer? Is it all determined with the conditions or is it best to be on the inside.
What's usually the horse? If you've got a horse that likes to go go early, go early, Yeah, yeah, you want an inside barrier so you don't have to come across the whole field to get to the rail. If you've got a horse that's going to settle back, then you probably want somewhere in this sort of nine out towards about fourteen sort of thing, because then you can sort of come across Settle midfield just one off the.
Rail right, and it's all random, isn't the draw. It's just a.
Draw's random, just to pull it all out of the basket, and that's where you go.
But twenty four, you your race is considerably longer than anyone else's, isn't it. If you're away out there and car park.
Not too many have won from twenty for car park. Yeah, I think now very Elegant wasn't drawn twenty four, but was drawn very very wide when she won with James McDonald aboard Now she ran the year before that had a wide drawer and didn't quite get the trip that she needed. McDonald had her across before they got to the finishing post the first time round and was sitting in behind the favorite one off the perfect so he knew when to pounds. As they came round the turn.
I think the favorite went too early and he was able to just peel off out of the slipstream. Well the rest was history, and I think very Elegant was paying around fifteen dollars. So there we're in that sort of sweet spot again.
I think that might have been the year where I accidentally put the bed on twice and it paid out twice.
That's what's fair opened. And what's J Mack riding this year? Has he got a mount?
Yes? She does? Where are we because.
I basically I don't know much about Australian racing, and I actually know even less about racing, but I take the tips. But whenever I go to Australia, I just look at what J Max riding and I just get on that and it tends to actually more times than not coming.
We're saying they should switch switch the jockey and horse name around. What is J Max? He should be listed as and then the horse name under He doesn't even ride? Oh he got you know, he got scratched? Oh did he?
Unfortunately? So he's not in this year?
Is Melbourne Cup? Jeez, if you were a horse owner and you saw a J Max horse got the scratch, wouldn't you give him a bell? Yeah?
When you get your jockey and go, hey, h do you want to maybe we'll still pay it.
So I'm feeling sure he was down to ride Via Sestina, who he rode to an eight length victory in the Cox Plate a few weeks ago. So the connections the trainer have decided not to take her to the Melbourne Cup. They're going to be riding her on the last eight champions Day of the Melbourne Cup.
Carnibal right right, Okay, So outside of the Kiwis, who are some of the big you talked about those two tied for the favorite, yep who the hot?
So at the moment Voban number one trained by Willie Mullins to be ridden by William Buwick six dollars and fifty cents opened up at seven, so in a touched to Sex fifty and Buckeroo trained by Kiwi Chris Waller, who applied his trade in Woodville I think in the early nat is a Woodville boy. God yeah, now one of the well, one of the most successful trainer in
Sydney probably in Australia. You could argue that number two Buckeroo six fifty as well, so, and that opened up at five dollars and fifty cents, so drifted slightly Buckeroo, so equal favorites at the moment. Voban at six fifty, Buckeroo at six fifty now Voban number one. Number one is it's not a very good saddlecloth to have on when we're talking about the Melbourne Cup, very very hard
because it means you're the top weight. You're carrying the heaviest load around all the way around that Flemington trad.
How do they decide the weights on that as well? Like how's that.
The Victorian racing handicapper. Yep, he'll look at how the horses have been formed and he'll judge each one a weight.
Jeez, that's a lot of responsibility on a hell of a lot of responsibility.
Yes, it is.
The theory is he gives hands the weights out, ye, and when they come around the turn and get to the finish line, all twenty four.
Finish at the same time. Right, that's what he's going for.
That never happens in the feast ley, but that is the sort of theory behind it.
And do they get do occasionally they go, oh, I probably shouldn't have put that weight on the horses.
It comes the last, you know, the favorite cat last.
I can tell you that trainers and owners of horses, certainly here argue that before the race and certainly afterwards.
Yeah, imagine, I.
Can't imagine anyone's ever been happy with the weight they've been handed. No, no, no, yeah, that sounds right, No exactly.
And it's like when the when we price up the warriors exactly, warriors a dollar foot. Oh that's ridiculous. Why are they dolive for?
It can't be?
And where do they this is this is a question, has nothing can do with anything. Whereabouts do they put the weights? Are they in the saddle? Are they are they? What are they? Are they little bits of lead?
Are they?
Coins? Are they? What are they?
Are they? Donut coins? They are weight?
They are weights, just like yeah, and they took them in, tuck them into the saddle, the area their little pockets there?
Okay? Yeah?
And what's the maximum weight that a horse has ever carried or in New Zealand?
It is there?
Does it just keep on going to range?
Yeah? Oh look we could go up to sixty six.
Well, when you get over the jumps, you're talking up to seventy kilos.
They're carrying seventy kilos of lead weight. Yeah, weight's in there that used.
To be the and now they've brought it back slightly. So shit, the horses don't have to carry as much, but it means the ones who are I guess slightly to win, Yeah, very even least weight, right, and there's there's not a lot of jockeys to get down.
To that way. Yeah, you're lightweights like you two. Yeah, yeah, obviously, yeah.
You'd get you almost have your you know, there's not a lot out we need you. Yeah, one of the only ones you can get down to forty nine and a half or fifty.
Here, right, So what about what if you counteracted a say like I don't I'm not going to put weights on my horse. I'm going to put Jeremy Wells, who's one hundred and seven kgs instead of taking to sixty kg's. I'm just going to put a large jockey. Is that an option we could?
You could do that. That's an option.
It's an option.
You'd rather have a sixty kilo dude with fifty kas.
An option though you can throw it out that you're put Williams on the back of a horse's way.
Well, I've seen Jeremy run. You'll probably run as fast as the horse.
He's got a shocking gate. Okay, it's a good book.
I know what you meant. Is there a gap in the market for a fun loving jock.
Yeah, stand out like a literally like a sore fum.
Yeah, they're giving them the mania handicap.
I think that's something that we could suggest to the Victorian Racing Cup.
I think in one of the lead up races. Yeah, yeah, that's right. I'll speak speaking of the lead up races, I think one of the things that people always ask for in the on the Melbourne Cup day is is there anything in the races beforehand? Any tips that you could dish out, because you know some people like to warm up, maybe fill the keddy up a little bit before we get to race seven. Meet seven, seventeen hundred Melbourne Cup. I love the way you did it, of
course I knew that coming in. I just wanted to ask for the list just for the sake of the listen. This is the broadcasting thing. But you are true professional. So have you got any tips leading up to the race itself?
So we've got a couple of domestic meetings on tomorrow, one at Ellesleie. So just a hip hop skipping a jump from here and then down south at Winger Twoy. So if we go to Ellesleie, I'll try I'll try and tip you in so that you've got something that you build a bit of a bank for the Melbourne Caps.
That's what you're after. That's right, get your eye in so they come Race seven. You're seeing a beach ball.
Ellesleie, Race one number seven, whit's end currently three dollars but odd surge out to three dollars and sixty right now.
Okay, okay, you've got the odds sue, Yeah, I've got the odd sage says three ten on mine, but in there I put the odd sage on three sixty. Yeah, into it.
Brighty hat. We'll post Lane's bett slips at things so that everyone can follow it.
And one more race three. Yep, we're still there, and there's already been a bit of money which would suggest that someone's in the notes.
Get on someone's very very keen. Get on it quick because that podcast can really it's.
The market movement. Number six moving melody was six dollars and fifty cents now into four dollars, but with the odd surge back out to four sixty.
Ok g Lane done, got a city in punt punp and by that stage you've got enough and your kiddy to work at home. Come Melbourne Cup race Paul. Just for that, you go, What if you had to stake your life on one horse tomorrow at race seven? What are you going for? Are you going to favorite? I'm not going to favorite?
No, no, which probably means this will be the the one year that the fave comes and I just can't. I can't do that myself.
I guess.
Look, one smooth operator. I've already got a wee bit of money on one smooth operator. Currently eight dollars and fifty cents comes out of the gee Long Cup. Won the Geelong Cup and won it fairly easily. Now that used to be a fairly good guide when it comes to the Melbourne Cup. Not so much in recent years, but just the way that he finished off, I did like that. So one smooth operated at eight dollars and fifty cents. And then if you want to go. Gilee
mentioned land Legend before. I don't mind land Legend myself. Oh yeah, that's good.
That's giving me hope.
But the other one is Okita Sushi to be written by Jamie Carr. There are four female jockeys in the race, and she's one of them looking to go and do the same thing that was it Michelle did on Prince of beIN Zance back in two thousand and fifteen. I think at one hundred they paid one hundred and one dollars ben Zance. That's why most people remember, because I
wasn't on. I'm guessing you two were on. Brought it again. Yeah, Okita Sushi, I think gets in at a nice lightweight and if Jamie can just settle, I think as they come around the turn, he'll ever whoever wee bit left in the tank or like the way that he's coming into this. He won the Mooney Belly cap or a week or two ago. I think if he shows that same sort of form, yeah, I think he'll be right
on it. At the sort of price e gtting for twelve dollars at the moment was twenty one, so they've already come for okay, so Jesus it was one of the it'll be eight after this podcast goes up, brilliant.
Thank you very much, mate. We'll see you down at the Full Time Bar tomorrow. At some stage it's going to be a great day. Yeah, will we get along if you can't? Yeah, you got your suits? Oh yeah?
Oh yeah mine?
Oh yeah, I got to find mine.
Actually, I've got most the beij Safari suit that I'm worrying every year. That's right, I've watched it.
I've seen it before. It's a real trait. Get along to Full Time tomorrow if you care, just to see Lane's short sleeved suit. Glane ge Laane Newman. Oh yeah, brilliant, Thanks very much. Paul enjoyed that. Tomorrow. Make you boys good luck.
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