Live from a freshly refurbished Export Beer Garden studio and brought to you, as always by Export Ultra, the beer for here. This is the Agenda Podcast for Monday, the sixteenth of September.
The Agenda Podcast, the home of Sporting, Nonsense and clap Trap, brought to you by Next sport A.
Vultra Franz Banker Lane.
Well it smells new.
It does smell new, Yeah, I hope it sounds new for those of you listening. We've just refurbished the studio. And by the studio, I mean there's now a set. Yeah, it's in the same studio.
We've got a good backdrop. It's all the light only the windows do we no, God No. All that means is people can see in here. Like we said last week, we lifted the curtains for the first time in years. The place just about burst into flames when we did, so, Yeah, it's about time. Although I do notice now that I look at it, that the curtains are actually up and you can't get back there to lower them, so.
That could potentially be an oversight. But if you want to see it, you can check it out on Instagram. Look up the alternative common try collective on Instagram and you can be one of the hundred to watch it today. I've printed off four blank sheets of paper in front of me. Yeah, so what do you got. I've got one piece of paper, Yes, got some writing on it. Yes, David Nika. Yes, we went and watched him fight. Yes, Saturday night.
Yep, big Runway. I tell you that I was nervous about the Runways first fight at quarter past six eleven.
Yeah, not to be before eleven.
Yeah, and look we're talking about full catering as well, aren't we. Yeah. And we had young Isaac on the table and she's that bucket of beers and white claws. We down did it?
No?
Well, what I found out was happening was they were coming over and asking him and the notorious pants ban Joel Harrison if the thing needed topping up. But I think at the same time a different person was asking you if it needed topping up as well. So when we were ordering rounds of beers, we were doubling up on ourselves.
So yeah, it was like it was a mountain which yeah, and they were getting warm. Well the problem this is the thing.
It also created a bit of a turbo sort of effect where it started spoiling up because people saw the amount of pass we had to get through and lifted their tempo to keep track with that. So the point where I actually had a spit take at one point where I ended up spitting my drink all over the long suffering Lauren was sitting next to me at the table because Joel Harrison is telling me a story about how he put one hundred dollars on David Yuka's fight
and he was paying. He's paying a dollar, a dollar and four cents, so he vested, invested one hundred dollars and won four dollars, but it was actually a bonus bit, so he actually only won two dollars. I had the same reaction you just did then, but had a mouthful of white claw and it went all over Lauren's brand new dress. So things got pretty pear shape there. And you mentioned a long runway long time listeners of the
a SEC will remember sprayed around Scotty. Yes, it was fortieth on the weekend.
Yes, and here's fortieth started at two thirty in the afternoon.
Yeah, so we were well and truly up for it by the time we got there.
Luckily that we left spray around Scotty's party. Whim we dead because poor Joe got hit up by a person who was sticking up for the physio from England.
Yeah right, Oh that whole drum Yeah yeah got resurfaced. Yeah great, that's good. I'm glad we left. And so that the fights themselves. There were four heavyweight fights on the undercard. Two of them were four round fights, and I'd sort of got that I told you before we went in there. I love betting on boxing cards and MMA cards because you can bet on that fight when or lost, then you can either reinvest or chase on the next one.
Yeah.
So it's quite fun punting ringside, and I got into the rhythm of things. I was like, oh, I see how these fights are gone. There are only four rounds. I'll bet on this next one to go the distance. And so I did, and they came out and said, these two gentlemen, we'll be fighting for ten rounds. I was like, oh, someone's going down, and so at that point I was kind of it's like beating the unders, you know, like you're beating against excitement. So whils I
was sitting there just sweating. I don't talk about don't don'tknok about. It was a good fight in the end, and thankfully it did go the distance. Made a bit of made a bit of coin on that one.
I mean in the highlight for me was the guy got smacked out of the ring. Yeah, I don't know what fight there was, my meaner the third fight of the night.
As yes, the third last. It was a big heavyweight two boppers and he got knocked basically unconscious but was still sort of like staggering around and his ass went out of the thing and old mate just clubbed him again and he went flying out of the ring like a WWE fight. That was definitely highlight of the.
Of the night on it I end seeing poor carpiencies kidneys burst live on stage.
Yeah, so a lot of people have been asking me this morning about how I was the fight a little bit disappointing, But he actually David Yuka let him up, Like I know, the highlights didn't look that good because he just sort of took and knee and then the towel got thrown in and that was all she wrote.
But it was a good fight. David Nika did light that thought up. Every time he hit his kidneys. There was a slap that went through the Vine Accident Center and the crowd just went. It wasn't cheering, it was just like.
Oh yeah it was. It was like watching a man at the at the heavy bag as hard as he possibly could.
Yeah, a lot of a lot of a lot more females at the event than I was expecting. Any reason, any reason for that?
Do you think more than usual for a boxing card.
Yeah, they might think it might be the David Niaker effect.
It could be if you haven't seen on the old Instagram thing. You know, there was where they all came out the walkouts. There a lot of people crowded around. I was, I wonder if we can get away. Fist bump here on his way out and just got hung out to dry there. But thankfully the security guard he saved the day down through at the fist bump.
You your first was hanging out there like an old man's naphyla, and create to you he had well and truly blanked you, Dave Nat and you just just kept the first out there like you were just like you know, I'm just I'm actually just paralyzed. And then the security guard he came back to you and then like just felt sorry for you, delivered you a first and then you were like.
And then tossed me out. Yeah. So David Yuka's family were on the other side, and so he went over over to them. You can't see he's just out of shot. But I was waiting to see if he would turn around and then but no he didn't. So yeah, just utterly humiliated myself. Shut it to Jay Reeve for filming that.
He dined out on that as well. I saw him when I was on the way to the toilet and.
He's like, yeah, that's out, Jack Maya.
This is the blank you'll ever see.
Yeah, it was. It was tough to watch. I tell you what, if you're dusty, nothing will make you search your soul more than seeing footage of yourself getting blanked by David and there soon as we got there. So it's a black tie event. I don't know what the fuck that means. All I figured out is that black tie doesn't mean you actually have to wear a black tie, right.
Yeah, I think it's it's strongly recommended.
It's an indicator of the kind of because are in bow tyes. Yeah, but then there was dudes in T shirts and shorts there were, yeah.
But I was. They were the kind of people that I wouldn't have stopped at the door.
No, I think they were. They were friends and family of some of the fighters.
And I think a lot of them might have paid cash for the table.
Yeah. So I get there first person. We see Laura McGoldrick coming in off the long run up, but she'd been at a lady's lunch. Yeah, ladies long lunch. Then she came steaming in and she just walks up to me and grabs my shirt and goes, who the fuck were is lenen to a black tiving. I was like, Jesus, I didn't know what the rules were. I haven't been to a lot of black tie events. To be fair, this is the only shit that fits me. I was like, Oh,
I thought I was looking pretty good. I went into the toilet one stage.
I think it was probably eight o'clock, and the toilets were choco full of urinals and a big.
Whoa, it's dressed to go by.
And everyone's like yeah, yeah, and then I heard he get the funk out of here, lane, Okay, Yeah.
I I went in there, used the facilities, and as I was walking out, there was a line because there were half as many sinks as there were urinals. Yeah, urinals were packed. I was like, you know what, I'm going to get away with us here. I'm just going to walk out wash you. As soon as I walked out, I just could just hear Mike Minogue from the back of the grub and so I walked out. As soon as I walked out there, producer Pugs Pugsy was there. He guess kidd mate came over and shook my head.
So then, yeah, I saw Monogue later on he said, that's going to get about half an hour's worth of ear time on the big show.
Wash washing hands at urinals, you have to urinating.
Yeah, that's right. Well, Jason Hoyt doesn't work. I suppose. I suppose at that point you wouldn't need to wash your hands anyway. But I see that he's taken Instagram. Oh, David Yuki. He wants to go again for the end of the year. Yeah, I mean he barely got punched.
Nah, no, not at all. I mean yeah, And I think he said that when we talk to him. He wants to, you know, just road to the title. He wants to be fighting, you know, every four or five months. Yeah, having something on the card, so yeah, but the end of the year, it'd be great to do it again.
Yeah, he's just gonna need to find someone because I think, like as good as that carp and C dude was, at some point in his career, I think it was a bit of a shell of himself, to be fair. He did fight only like a month or two ago that Carpenin Feller, and then he took the fight on three weeks notice. So he wasn't, you know, in tiptop shape,
but he got pieced up. It would be good to see him go against a little bit stiffer competition, maybe someone we've heard of, although I haven't heard of any of the people in the Cruisewe No division, so be interesting to see. But I'd like to go again. There's something in the air when you're at the boxing. I will will not though. There's something I noticed the last time I went to a boxing event. The crowd's way quieter, like you can hear a pin drop in there for some reason.
Yeah, we had a friends and family table behind us of one of the fighters that yeah, they were going nuts with My ears were ringing.
Yeah, for one of the fighters. This girl's screaming the entire time, but for the rest of it you could basically hear people's cutlery and yeah, shit, I think it's partly tension, partly the fact you're all sitting around tables having dinner.
Yeah, that's that's a bit strange. Yeah, eating a steak while some guy was getting his head pounded and about ten meters away from you.
I'd rather be here than in there. Yeah, But shout out to them, and shout out to Duke for having us there as well.
Yeah.
Hopefully if they get another fight, we can get David back in here. I can sort of yea, my grievance with him just leaving me hanging yeap.
I can't wait to show them the video.
Actually, yeah, hopefully I've seen it. Hopefully it feels terrible about it. All right, let's take quick break. We'll come back and talk a bit more sport. I want to start with the Black Cats because they're playing Tri Lanka in the first of two tests this week.
Yes, scoll on when ball on Wednesday.
These two tests are part of the World Test Championship, correct which I've had a look at the standings. At the moment, we sit third on the latter behind India and Australia. We've played six matches Ossie have played nine. In India have played twelve. That's ridiculous, but that works in our favor because it's win percentage. It's the amount of points that were available. How many of those have you won? You get twelve points for a word. It's
very cricket. It's very confusing. Duckworth Lewis must have come up with this fucking system. We're on thirty six I think Australia on like ninety. England have played sixteen Test matches. Yeah, which unfortunately drops them down to rank sixth because they've had more opportunity to lose than anyone else.
Yeah, and they lose. When they lose, they lose hard because they go for baswell.
But the interesting part about this test is not that it starts on Wednesday. It's not that we're third on the table. It's that we're taking a day off in the middle of it. Have you've seen this? So it starts Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, then they take Saturday off, then they pick back up Sunday Monday. So this is going to be a six day test all told. Because Sri
Lanka's election is on the Saturday. They can't have any security there, so that's taking the day off so over and can go I guess, or maybe it's because they want to make sure that, you know, enough people vote in the election.
Just set up a voting booth in the stadium, Yeah, have people vote on their way in. I think it's more of security things. I know in India you cannot tour India during any sort of elections because they can't guarantee security for the event, right, because it's around the elections. I think it's probably more around that. But rain is forecast for the first five days of this test. Awesome, Well it's a six day test, yes, and the sixth day beautiful sunshine.
Well, we'll get to get one day of action. Yeah, and an election result.
I think they've got better drainage in Gaul than they have it in the India. Girl has been around for a long time. Beautiful, beautiful stadium. It's got like a fort running around it next to the ocean, I know the one. Yeah, and it's quite it's quite a ground that's quite close to Kiwi's hearts as well, because when
the tsunami hit, you know, the boxing Day tsunami. That's that ground absolutely totaled and New Zealand Cricket and New Zealand were quite instrumental in rebuilding that right, helping rebuild that stadium in that ground. So it's an amazing place. It's like the locations awesome.
Yeah.
I's just hope it doesn't fucking rain the whole time.
Nahor there's no tsunamis. Have you ever been to Sri Lanka before?
Yeah, I've heard.
I've heard nothing but great things about it.
That is a great place. You have to ignore the fact that you know, there was some sort of genocide happened up in the hills with the canils. But it is what you'd say are manageable India. Yeah, it's smaller, Yeah, you can kind of drive around. It's got some great beaches, great wildlife, great wildlife. They've got like a Safari park in the liver where you can go and see leopards and crocodiles and elephants and and there there native birders,
a jungle fowl which is a jungle chicken. Oh yeah, they've got heaps of these jungle chickens running around and they've got tea plantations up in the mountains as well. They've got their famous train ride that all those Instagram woundersoos themselves on it. I would highly recommend it. It's like I was saying, if you're too scared to go to India because it's a massive humanity Sri Lanka is here, is he more manageable? And the national sport rugby? Yeah, they fucking love rugby. Really.
They obviously suck at it though, because they're never at the World Cup.
No, but you go over there and there's a lot of how you say it, contracted overseas players right there, like loads of fig and dues, tongu and gentlemen. Yeah, because the military is quite big on rugby, so they've got the strongest team. Yeah. I was quite surprised. I had we had a guide with him were there, because you pay one hundred yueist dollars and you get a driver in a car and they take it around everywhere.
And his favorite players, Richie mcare I seen him in all that ex jusey afterwards, So it's just the biggest Richie McCaw fan. So weird going to Sri Lanka and you think it's all cricket, but rugby.
Yeah, it's full on it.
You know.
I've got a lot of friends who have been there and sent rave reviews about it. Apparently, if you ask the right way, they're not averse to the fucking mana's.
Over there, Oh no, especially on the beaches surf beaches.
Or apparently through the Safari Park where one of my friends allegedly had been offered the fucking manas and then stone to the girls watching a leopard drag a deer into a tree.
We went through the Safari Park with our guide and we hadn't seen a leopard, and he was pretty guarded that we hadn't provided a leopard for us. So you have to be out of the park by six pm
otherwise the guides get fined and everything. And it was well past six and he saw a leopard in the distance, and so we saw the leopard, took fight, came ran right past us, went onto the bush and he's like, okay, we have to go now, but I just have to do one more thing, and he popped the boot off the the jeep open, put his hands all through the grease, greased up his face and everything all over his head, and then bum rushed the gate and said he'd broken down and he had to fix the good know what
he was like, what's he doing? Because he was like, did the things they've broken down? I had to appear to change the oil and like he was just covered, covered himself and ship. It was so good.
They would have seen him coming off. He comes home made again, he's going to try that he's broken down. Excuse Yeah, I can't be bothered with an argument today. Just let him go now.
Highly recommend you, if you get a chance, get over there, get out of You're flying to Columbo and you get the fuck out of there. And he'd straight up to kind of candy up in the mountains. Yeah, gol on the coast. If you're a surfing too, they've got great surf beaches.
Maybe that should be one of our next trips.
Yeah. And that's where they fish off the poles. You know you see those dudes standing on poles.
Oh, yeah, that's where they do that.
Oh it's crazy. They're just at the top of his pole, just catching tiny fish and just tucking into get.
A boat like Pilchards. Yeah, powerful stuff. The NBC across the weekend. You will be heartbroken to know that has been retained the shield. Wellington did not win. It was like almost the last minute buzzerb to try to a block by the name of Kor and Tom Moyfilow. It was a tremendous try, Like this individual effort broke. Oh I made something out of nothing and then won it. Unfortunately. Does that mean we've cursed Wellington?
Yeah? Well look Brad Shields, nice guy. Yeah, terrifying man. I wouldn't want to get on his bed side. You may have correct, Yeah, because he did say, we said why you see, we'll talk to you after you win the shield.
I was hoping this wouldn't be brought up.
And then he said, have you dis cursed us? But I don't. We don't. We don't have a history in cursing.
No. Yeah, I did say, well, if you win the shield, you left to come on this weekend. And I was saying after after we interviewed him, I was like, I only said that because if they lose, he's not gonna want to come on here and talk to us. So please welcome Brad Shields to the show.
I think Tasman got it for the got it for the summer. You're against my vibe because I think that was their biggest threat. There was the two unbeaten teams and they closed them out. So I can't see has been losing it.
No, yeah that is. I mean, look, I don't think we cursed them, but selfishly I am grateful that it is staying in the South Island because that's now a bus trip for South Canterbury, who gave me a heart attack over the weekend.
I did yous come in?
No it didn't, so our three way I think Carl's horse did.
Oh yeah, I don't care about car need.
I can't catch them.
Yeah, my cricket one didn't come in. They had seven six is Australia not more than eight and a half apoint.
I had South Africa, South Africa, South Canterbury to minus nineteen and a half. I played North Otago. They were down by twenty points at halftime and I checked that and I was like, fuck, mabe, this could be it. And then they came back and won it, and I just think like we're gonna have to I think we have to get their coach or something on because it must be terrifying having I think it's like almost forty games on the trot.
Now you're a target Yeah, you're a target see everyone. That's what Like, that's what Auckland were for years during the eighties. Yeah, when they had this shield, they were a target for everyone.
Yeah. But and like obviously, I know you never plan to lose a game of rugby anyway, so it's not going to impact it that much. But they must be getting the speed wabbles now. We'll have to get them on later on. But in other rugby news, we didn't talk about it on Friday, but the news came out that they are changing the finals format for Super Rugby next year.
Do you understand it? I like to think I do. To the point of the ranking things, So six teams qualify. See first place Sex, you can place fifth. Yeah, that kind of thing. But first and second have a second chance.
Ah what No, So whoever losers one of the losing teams, whoever the highest ranked losing team is, gets a second chance the next week.
Okay, so if number one beats Sex but two losers to five, two gets another hone.
Ah, so there's going to be three winners that go through to the next round. They need one more to make up. And it's the highest rank of the losers.
Why do they do this.
That's so stupid, and I saw My first instinct was and I've seen other journalists write this. I think Dylan Cleaver had the same point was they just wanted to copy NRL, but because they're rugby, they have to be like, we didn't copy NROL, we come up with their own one. So they've made a shitter version of what the NRL has because the NROL one is confusing. I have to look at the picture to be able to understand what's
going on. But the top two ranked teams, if they win their first match or the top four throw, they get a buy the next round. That's what you're playing for, and then if you lose, you get a second bite of the cherry of the next round. You get to stay in. That makes sense. See what you're playing for is a bye next week, and if you lose then you have to fight for your life the following week.
That I can understand. What I can't understand is so I one players, but then if they win, now you're waiting on the next game because of that team wins now you could go through. But if the other team wins, now you're out because of the rankings. I don't know hopefully it makes teams jocking for position a bit more intense throughout the season.
They want it because you want to secure one or two, don't you. Yeah, that's because that's your lifeline.
Yeah, even even three, because if you lost in your third, no one else would lose but be higher ranked than you.
Oh yeah, because of one and two win.
Yeah, but then four. The thing is, and I hate when people come out and say, oh, it's not that confusing, like it's actually really easy to understand. It's like, you can't just say that because it's fucking not. I don't understand it, you know, So you you can tell me that I should until the cows come home. I'm fucking not. And this is what we're gonna have to do with all next year as well. Hang on, did they so they win? But then they at least.
I've reduced it to sex. I mean, but they've had to have they.
Yeah, they had to because yeah, well there's eleven teams. Teams were making the playoffs that had won like two games. It was a bit ridiculous and just quickly on sport as well. The Blackburns lost over the weekend twenty four to twelve in front of forty one and a half thousand people at Twickenham. Did they curse themselves by hugging the King? Wh Is that a curse? Is that a curse?
I don't know. I don't know if he holds any sort of sways the old King Charles m trophy head.
Maybe not. I'm I'm just trying to grasp the straws for some sort.
Of It's he shrinking and his appendages are getting bigger, his fingers are getting fatter, his ears are getting bigger.
It certainly seems that way, doesn't it. God, could you imagine what his feet look like? King Charles, get the dogs out. We need to see it.
But like twenty four twelve, that's not They were expected to potentially struggle a little bit against the world number one in Twickenham, So twenty four to twelve sounds like they gave it a good I didn't see any of it, but it sounds like that score line, doesn't they.
Gave it a good note? Yeah, that's right. I don't think this is panic bells, but we do love to just hit the panic button whenever a New Zealand rugby team loses. Yeah, all right, let's take a break when we come back, We'll get to yours.
Please, yours please, brought to you by Leader Home of the Las Top.
We have four to get through. First caller, yours please, Lads.
I'm sitting in the pub watching the AFL and I just said a brain wave. G Laying looks like treasure Trevor Scalf. Treasure Trevor Scalf, Travis Kels if g Lay look after himself. Too many fucking knife parties in his life and brain cancers anyway, horo fuck what if your team Trevors Scalse's plays for.
Look, I'll take that petty girls really tying on on there? He is petty.
Come down, mate, You'll take Travis Kelsey. Yeah, I'll takes Kelsey, Trevor, Trevor's trivers powerful.
Stuff them mount Honestly, we're not going to play the more. But we got so many drunk voicemails over the weekend.
It's a good outlet.
I was saying in the office. I feel like we've saved at least three women from receiving a drunk call. Yeah, that's so true over the weekend.
I mean, I digress a little bit, but I got home after the fight, and you know you came home. You're trying to be quiet, kind of remove most of your items of clothing elsewhere. So the jingle jangle of the of the belt and the wallet and everything downstairs. I did downstairs, and then a couple of glasses of water. Brush my teeth downstairs using one of my kid's toothbrushes. I mean, like up the stairs, get into the room. And all I got was downstairs, and I was like, uh,
back down, back down to the Frank's room. My youngest child, who has taken my position in the marital bed. He's starfished, because that's what she is. He's on here. Get back downstairs, you. So I went back down to the kids room and she got safe from me. When you hear with.
Yeah, anyway, was it that voice that's been awake for like she hadn't just woken up there? No, No, that one's terrifying when you come home and it's.
Dark and you get there, Yeah, you can go soundstairs and sleep. Yeah. Well it's not a yeah, I've been awake for hours with this kid.
Yeah yeah, And I'm like, okay, yeah, that powerful stuff, all right?
Another caller here your space.
I thought the game is going to be the rip off some Miles school and you can never beat the thing.
But just watched it, and Jesus Christ, it was actually quite good.
I loved it pretty much and fuck South of Calory. Well there we go. It was a compliment.
Great feedback, great feed So we're in that disguise you reckon.
They'll use that definitely. Yeah, I'm the next trailer. Yeah, yep. So a game of two hours back again this Thursday eight thirds. Yep.
We can see when these voicemails are senter and that was two forty in the morning.
So and look, that was good, honest feedback because he obviously had a few, and when you've had a few, you tend to let the filters come down. But he was complimentary.
Yeah, yeah, he also enjoy things a bit more. I think when you have the skin for he should probably watch it again in the stark in the dark daylight. But thank you for that, great honesty, great feedback. And I will send that through disguise if they use it at all for a promo. Not a caller here your space go fellas.
After watching that Storm Sharks game, I'm just putting it out there. I don't think Jerome Hughes gets enough love as a great New Zealander. He's been pulling the strings of the Storm all year. Debatably one of the players in the league. Whenever he plays with the Kiwis is absolutely phenomenal. But we don't see he claim him was one of our own. What do you reckon?
It's because he is? Yeah, yeah, fuck Tomoka terrible, probably the worst part of South Canterbury to bence for the head to pick one. What we're talking about Jerome Herees. I think it's because he lives in Melbourne, right, any dude that lives in Australia, you kind of forget that that Kiwi A lot of times, those that have been in the NRL for years, you're like, oh, that's right. It's only when they come back and play for the
Kiwis that you remember he's actually a New Zealander. So yeah, no, but I agree with their caller and I think if he really wants to solidify himself as a great New Zealander, it's gonna have to come home play for the Warriors. So Jerome here Is, if you're out there listening to this, come home. It's the only way. It's the only way. I'll give you a first pump, one last one caller yours pace.
Julane Welling conplan here, keep you feeling the curves away from our teams in the future. All right, thank you, and Anoya Cashuiras are just like all Australian stuff, fucking thick. You do one easy. Honestly, they're disappearing at an alarming rate. They're so stupid. No worries at all.
All right, be a toy k thank you.
That's a good way to win it. Be a tidy kiwi ye. It's just a lot more wholesome than a south Ken.
Yeah, unfear on you. It wasn't you that cursed them, if it was anyone that was me, I was in the room, you were in the room. So by proxy you'r curse does get and and and the first bit of positive support that I've had against this cassi.
That one of against many though, yeah, yeah.
But one. It's good to have someone in your corner. And look, Wellington, I know you're HEARDing. If you're looking for someone to blame it on, you can blame it on us. It's not really a fib but we'll take it.
And also you've got Auckland FC coming for your title as well on the on the football front.
Blame that one on us. All right, let's knock this one on the head for a debut for the new set, I.
Keep it's not really finished though. It's some stuff that's going to go unto here.
It'll be like a painting, I presume.
Yeah, some sort of painting or a mural, a logo neon Neon might blow out the camic, but anyway, it's well, it's kind of eighty percent done.
Baby steps sor right. Thanks for joining us today on their Gender podcast. We'll be back tomorrow, Friend, Tuesday episode of the Gender Podcast. We'll see you then.
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