"Chasing The Fux"

Life from the Export Beer Auden's studio and brought to you is always by Export Ultra of the beer for here. This is the Agenda Podcast for Wednesday, the thirteenth of November.

The Agenda Podcast, the home of Sporting Nonsense and clap Trap, brought to you my next sport a vulture.

Gulane, Good morning. How's it all gone? Ye're not too bad, not too bad at all? Story she had broke up? Oh yeah, do you care? Uh? What was the last song they put out? I can't remember? This is I don't know. I you know what.

I thought they'd broken up ages ago and just get back together and do a New Zealand tour and then go off and do their own thing, because that's what they've been doing.

Did we need an announcement?

No, I don't think we did, because they kind of go their separate ways for most of the year and then just come back for a tour play the old Bangers.

Yeah.

It reminds me because I saw a lot of people posting it on their story this morning, and it reminds me of when an old actor dies. I'm talking about like in their nineties people.

Oh my god. So yeah, that's so sad, so was it was the last movie. Was in the middle of something that you really wanted to see?

Was he? I don't know that the album's still out there. You can still go and listen to that. The first couple of albums.

I think it was always incoming because ever since Johnny Toogood started kind of dressing and looking like Gandalf, I think the other band members are like, Okay, he's going through a midlife crisis, he's growing his head, he's gone full Lord of the Rings.

Why announce it?

Though?

This is the same thing that I think about athletes. And I've talked to a few that are sort of nearing the end of their careers, and the same thing I say to every single one of them is, you never know when someone's going to throw a massive check at you. Why would you ever retire if you're a professional athlete, never retire?

Why what do you want?

I'm going to throw it out there. Ticket sales? What I'm just going to dorne ticket sales? She had what's ticket sales? Well, they're going to say this is their last ever tour? Oh right, sorry, sort of announced this is the last one.

Yeah yeah, And you're like, oh, back God's last year. I gotta go, I have to go.

And the time they'll do a reunion to like the guy.

That bought the Tom Brady ball.

Yes, and when he had retired and then all of a sudden, the unretired city. That's actually, that's a great shout. There's a tour being announced as well. Yeah, you've seen through the matrix there. This image has got doing the rounds this morning. We need to address it at the top of the podcast. It is an image that was first sent into the Clark's Beach in Wyo, part Grapevine, which is basically a community page. Yes, it shows the

He is off the edge of a fairway, it seems, and he is expressing his affections for his partner on the side of the course there.

Now, yeah, this is obviously and someone's complaining on the Facebook sap pace saying can you just make be a bit more subtle, maybe go make love in the bushes?

Yeah, but if you look at that image, if I'm looking at it right now, to me, it.

Looks like a golfer who's removed his pants, has gone down on his knee and his pulling a brown eye to his mates on that. I can't see any other legs or is that a leg just poking up on the right here.

I think that's a leg there poking out.

I think it is. I think it is then making love. But initially first glance, it just looks like a guy on his knees, like almost presenting. But he's there is another there's another players, another partner. There's another partner in there. But that is that's aggressive. That is it's not even in the rough. And I think that's still in the mown roff. It's in the second cat of the Clark's Beach Golf golf Club. Yeah, look, needs must have probably

Bush there, no and again put the phones away, But the caption read I've had twenty four hours diugh jest the spectacle on the golf course, Hey, Romeo and Juliet seven to fifteen.

Pm on a Monday.

Really, I mean, I get the passion, but couldn't they at least pack the slightly more private? But I love the person that posted this, first of all anonymous. Second of all, I get the passion. Yeah, do you I'm out there banging. I'm doing all the time. I do stuff like this, Yeah, all the time. I'm a banker.

I doubt it. Maybe a bush or something.

I suppose they were going for the live action nature documentary vibe.

Look is it a vibe?

You take it where you can get it, you know, And you never know the backstory here. We don't know if they have been through some troubles. We don't know if he's gone through a massive dry spell. Well, she's gone through a dry spell and they just needed to.

Get one off. We don't know this story. I'd like to think you just had a hole in one and then was like, yes, what's one way to celebrate a hole on once I saw it?

Yeah, But the Facebook and Instagram comments have been the best part of us this morning.

As soon as it came in, we were just pouring through them.

Obviously a million jokes about the nineteenth hole, Yeah, a lot of jokes about hole in one.

Yeah.

Someone said playing the front nine, see but a stroke play? Yeah, and my favorite, chasing the Fox.

That's good.

Let's hope that he chipped in from you know, one hundred yards and as a celebration, his partner was there and said, that's so hot.

I want it now.

Yeah, I can't. I can't picture. And I just played the round in my life on the weekend, but I was with Jason Hoytt. But I can't picture how this would happened. I can't see where the how they became so inflamed with lust that they were like, I'm sorry, but we have to do this right here, right now.

The best part of this picture for me, I mean, the beer buttocks is great. He's obviously removed his pants completely, which is which is a balling move, but it's the golf clubs that are set on his trundler just mirror, kind of a couple of feet away from his backside, like like he's taken a shot from just the he's taking his clubs over taking his shot, gone down, hammer and tongs. Now he's going to get back up, pull

Oh right, clubs, So watch one of them is golfing.

The other thing that I was talking to a long time listener to the podcast, and he was saying that he plays on this course and he's trying to figure out what hole it was. He thinks there's a road in the background there and he thought it was the sixth or seventh hole.

Is that a road?

Guy?

Is that a road as well? So then he was saying, well, did they get up and then have to play another two or three holes?

Because I look at that and I'm like, that must be the end of the round. But I think it's a great story, like how is he around the golf?

Awesome? Go on away on the sixth? What how did the golf go? Yeah, I don't know, phenomenal.

I'd like to find that person.

I don't know how you would track them down. If anyone's listening to this and they know the person that it was completely anonymous too. We won't identify the person. We'll even put their voice through a distorter, yeah, and talk to him unless you would like to be identified, in which case we would happily do that for you as well, so you get in touch.

I let's take quick break, we'll come back and talk a little bit of sport.

New Zealand Cup was yesterday, Lane and the favorite, the prohibited favorite. Mind you did win it. Swazy wins the New Zealand Cup yet again. They were talking all that shit coming over from Australia about how they were going to win it. Grego Connor did say it to be hard to beat? Did you or do you know anyone who got on Swayzey to win it?

I had Swasey and a cornella yeah with Merlin. Yeah, yeah, it didn't come through.

Yeah.

Why doesn't the New Zealand Cup stop the nation? It's because it's because it's harness racing. And I was watching yesterday and I just sometimes just can't stop laughing because it just looks a little bit ridiculous.

There's a little goofy.

Yeah, it's a goofy. I mean I'm a thoroughbreed man. I'm a gallops man and I'm openly gallops.

Yeah. You're out in proud.

Yeah, I'm mountain proud. I mean it's a great day out in christ Hitch. I mean, we reposted the video from a couple of years ago and which got us kicked out, and people get into it. It's a good time. And I tell you why, there's going to be some absolutely sun burnt, dehydrated units today waking up with just bright red foreheads, bright red v marks on the front. Not many burnt nicks. Because there was a lot of mullets out there. I saw a lot of footage of mullets central some protection.

That's sensible.

Yeah, yeah, so two years ago you went down there, you interviewed a.

Bunch of people.

That video, like you said, is back up on the old Instagram Facebook at the moment you can go and have a look. And that is why a lot of people keep basking us if we're down there. That's why we're not allowed back down there.

Yeah. Look, it's kind of funny, isn't it. It's kind of a bit. It's like the Sevens. It's a bigger van. Everyone has a drink, has a party, has a good time, but no one's allowed to show that everyone's having a good time and.

Got to pretend you're not.

Yeah, it's the Trots for fax sake. Most I guarantee over half the people who attended Eddington didn't place a bit.

Yep, and more than half of them that would be the only horse race they saw that year.

Yeah, and it's great and be celebrated, and I think the more you can celebrate that, the better. But it's something seems to be, oh, you can't promote that. You can't promote you know, people having a good time. Yeah, there was that particular. Basically my questions on that interview was like, tell us a story that was that and people would go okay. And then that particular lady who told me she wasn't wearing any nickers and she wiped you herself with her hand.

And then shook someone's hand. That was shocking. It was shocking. It was shocking. But I mean, that's not a reason to ban us, you know. No, did she get banned?

It might have been me berating Jerry Brownley trying to get everyone back to his house for a party that didn't go down.

The Well, yeah, fair enough.

If I said, everyone follow that cab party back at Jerry and he's like, get out of here.

You won't follow my car.

Because last year we tried to get I was going to go down there and race one of the horses. Yeah, and then the I don't know whoever, the powers that be said no, these guys aren't welcome back.

Here.

Yeah, But then again I got to get a call from it Addington earlier in the year saying, you guys coming down. So I think it's a bit of a change in management there, right, So I think next year, let's go down there and you know it's right.

The wrongs they should have, they should have maybe, I mean, it's probably it's quite dangerous.

We talked about it yesterday, but they should have some sort of like a charity race or something like the black class sort of thing, and then just get a bunch of people in the sulkies and maybe they put them behind ponies instead of following.

Yeah, because it looks quite dangerous. Yeah, because ye're sitting in and if you come off, you know, I got the horse.

You've got the chariot.

Keep you're entangled up and there's a lot of stuff to get tangled up, and that's all the Yeah, yeah, it's all the other carts that are gonna gonna tap you up.

But yeah, I reckon that'll be fun. I'd love to have the acc trots.

Well, I certainly had the trots a day after that.

N R we talked about it yesterday.

They were talking about a rule change that would see basically the end of props coming off the back fence off the kickoff. They've come out this morning and said they will not be introducing that rule excellent into the competition this year.

Now, two things could have happened.

The first is it was the story came out from a bloke who calls himself the Mole.

You've probably heard of him.

He's just a guy like he is, not like yeah, he he's basically Joel Harrison the Mole. Yeah, And he came out and said that.

So either the NRAL was never looking at that or the NRL was looking at that, and then they've seen the backlash on social media and stuff and said, oh okay, if no one wants that, we won't do it. And I think it's the latter and I just love that from the NRL. It's sensible. Rugby union wouldn't do that.

No, they would stick to their guns. Yeah, No, it's a player welfare, a shuba. If n RAL go, fucking people love coming off the back fence, let's just keep it.

Yeah, absolutely, that that is what people love as well. And the other so I saw a lot of people get asked about it overnight. Trent Robinson from the Roosters was saying, if you like it's a technique issue, they should be harsher on the head highs and bin people and banned them and that kind of thing. But you shouldn't get doue away with it. First issue is you need to have props in the game. The game's getting faster and faster, so the bodies are getting smaller.

A big bumbling.

Prop like Mark Twokey couldn't survive in today's game, so you need to have off the back fence so you can keep those props in the game. The second thing is you got forty meters to sort your tackling thing out.

You know, Yeah, you can't tell.

Me that it's a it's a kickoff, as you you've got that whole run up to get low enough and you know, make the tackle properly.

You're heading in the right position, you're hit.

In the right position. He is saying, that's not the issue with the kickoff. And I just loved that. The NL look at stuff like this and they're like, oh, yeah, no one wants that.

Sweet, We'll be in it, yeah, because it's an opportunity to put a massive shot on as well. Not often you get line someone up from forty meters and have a shot. So yeah, I'm glad they've they've about tuned on that.

Yeah, one hundred percent that this is something that they do so well as like, oh we like this rule. What other people think, Oh they want it perfect, we'll put it in next week. Yeah, you know, or they don't want it six again like stuff like they had to keep it flowing. They happened mid season. Yeah, I'm sort of up and down on the six again because I think it benefits the good teams too much. I think it sort of separates the haves and have nots.

And James O'Connor just the Justin Bieber of Australian rugby is coming to play for.

The It's the least Crusaders thing of all time. First of all, you got lux and coming out saying he's involved in he haven't got you know, I haven't. Now we've got fucking James O'Connor playing What is going on?

But yeah, you're right, no one cares.

And why we're talking about it in the office this morning, Why can't like why did they announce that ship months ago? Why didn't they save up James O'Connor, Ardie Savia, anyone else that they was.

That was spots?

Anyone moving?

I don't think so.

No, no all Blacks moving apart from Ardie.

There's no All Blacks movie except Jordie is going on sabbatical and Body is returning from his sabbatical. Yeah, they're not changing teams, but they are. They are coming back for Buden.

Barrett had to sit in the stands and watch the Blues win the championship without him. Yeah, I'll tell you, old plumb dog Millennire, he won't be happy. He had a season of his life last year. And come back to Body. And you've got Peter fitza cheese. You got the cheese at the back. Yeah, so well you put Body, Yeah exactly.

And there's another article doing the rounds this morning saying how have New Zealand Rugby allowed the Blues to stockpile all of these first fives? And it's like, well, what we've been saying for the longest time, drafts and trades is the only way that this could this could change. So yeah, I don't know. They can't get out of their own way. Please welcome into the studio. Matt Heath was at the Vapor of the Sandwiches this week, fingering, fingering, you've been fingering what you know?

When you talk to you all asked to get to the doctor by the time because you've booked it so you can be in time for the gender podcast. Yeah, and then you arrive and there's no motivation for them to get you in for you arrive and you sit there for half.

Now I always blame you. They'll cancel you if you're not there on time.

I blame the person ahead of me every time I go to the doctor and I see the person come out and I won't been one e behalf now fuck you.

Then and I also get angry and everyone that gets called before me like there's jump the que even though they were there for me. But then yes, soly I got another finger in guys. She was so apologetic about it. Oh yeah, and that made me feel nervous because I prefer, like, if I'm getting yeah, I prefer if it's if they keep it super clinical.

I mean I've talked before. I'm saying that.

Are you suggesting that it wasn't clinical and it may be something else?

No?

No, no no, But when she starts apologizing it, it kind of makes it weird. Right, I'm so sorry, but do you do you mind if I have to check your backside?

Your mind? Sorry? And can you just go behind here?

And it's like, you know, I don't know why, but the sorry is like you shouldn't feel sorry, I should feel sorry.

Like yeah, I should be apologizing for the state and.

Yeah, and you always think, I mean, I got the share head out and really cleaned it out for a week down there, just in case this happens, because because the last thing you want when you're getting a inspection, if you had one year, you're probably too young top had one that's coming for you.

Haven't Once you have one, though, Yeah, you.

Can't go anywhere you're a doctor's client without them stick. But you walk past one and then they run out and finger you that.

But why why why back a bit of prostate. That's where they checked I had got colon to last year after.

Listen to symptoms, and they found this kind of weird disease up there. So I sort of have to it doesn't matter. It's not get too far up there. I'm all right, it's it's a disease that that's just going to cause me and could get fingered every six month, Yeah, but it's not gonna sounds pretty.

Good to me.

Ultimately affect my house. That set for a little bit of constipation if anyone cares. But I mean, I've told the story before about that that Welsh doctor that fingered me.

Well, no was so what had happened is not the daughter door salesman. Yeah, so when I.

Was a kid, I got fingered in a kind of a weird way. And it may or may not been a doctor. He called himself doctor McLean. It's a confusing situation. I think now he wasn't a doctor. I reckon he wasn't. Yeah, anyway, he was selling. Wasn't selling. But but it didn't affect me emotionally because it wasn't til years later yet, like two decades later, I went hang on a minute, so it didn't affect me emotionally. But but then I told that story on the Met and Joy Breakfast show.

We need to do that.

And then I went to the doctor and when I had to get my first fingering, and when the doctor pulled his finger out, he goes and I talked about the guy being called doctor McLain, the guy that fingered me, but we think he's probably brush salesman.

Doesn't matter, brush salesman. Yeah.

And then and then when the doctor pulled his finger out, he whispered in my air. I guess was as good a doctor McLean.

And that's when I knew he was listening to the show.

Oh there, but if he's heard that story, he knows that there's that he was potentially not a doctor.

Yeah, that's a lot of Mincine operates in a gray Yeah.

You seem to be in the gray area as well.

Anyway, the pressure is on to get to the gender podcast, and I'm waiting in the doctor's clinic.

He Wane's been picked before me.

I'm waiting there for half an hour and then and then it and then it sort of descends into a fingering, and you know, the pressures on and the clock's ticking.

You know, you find out you've got a disease browing and your ass to get intimute it.

Yeah, yeah, that's right.

It's a peatri dish that's creating like just an evil civilization that will eventually fly out of there and killing people.

That's that's far more interesting than the Super Rugby teams.

Yeah, but could I just say about the Super Rugby how did they make that that announcement so quiet?

Could you?

You couldn't make them lest quet if you put the and a bunker under the ground.

That's because they had a complete media blackout.

They had nothing to say though, because the two biggest announcements for Ardie Sava going to Mona, yeah, which is on you, and James O'Connor going to the.

Crusaders, which is quite quite interesting.

Interesting, but those two announcements were done months ago. Yeah, so that's why there's these ones like.

It doesn't even make them.

It isn't even making the news on just regularly regulate like you know, the news broadcast already. They're desperate for anything, they're desperate just to fill the slots they and they not even bringing that up. So you've got to you've got to manufacture some drama or something.

Well, if there was a draft, you'd have mcconi up there announcing with the first pick and the blah blah blah draft. Then you get to watch an eighteen year old for Feller's lifelong game, You see his family, the presentation, blah blah blah.

And then you get like a you know, a big rich team, you know, taking a.

Player that's blue beloved in a small you know, like from a smaller franchise, and the smaller franchises fu amount of winter and the big big franchises is hoop laughing it up and you're going, you rich bastards, all that kind of stuff.

Yeah, you know that.

We loving the I mean you look at the NFL Draft. There's one hundred and one hundred and ten thousand people at the draft.

Yeah, only three of them are going to have a career. Well on those drafts.

Even the NBA draft cities in the US pitch to have the draft event yea at their city because it brings in hundreds of millions of dollars because fans come from every to watch it. Like it's like a it's like bringing you know, it's like pitching for the Commonwealth Games. That's what they am in America and they are like and this year it's going to be in Philadelphia, and.

I think it's the it's like communism versus capitalism. I don't necessarily want to get into that argument, but you know, if it's all run by one body, then you know you can have It's never that exciting. But if it's competing franchises and a draft, then then there it's each And I mean look at I mean you just look at the NRL and how much more hype there is because the franchises are actually legitimately competing each with each other for players.

Yeah, and because the night itself, like you're saying, they compete for who gets the host it and then they'll have like a club legend. So if there was a Super Rugby draft, you'd have what you have. Beaver there from the Chiefs, you have, yeah, Tony Brown.

From the Landers to Blackadder from the todd Yeah, right from the Blues.

Did you play professional rugby two?

Right?

I don't think. I don't think did he? In the vibe that Auckland rugby Christian.

Callen Spencer would have been great, Yeah, he's throwing through Auckland Blues.

He goes from Doug Allett. I don't know.

Yeah, you'd have those guys they're representing, and they go up and they make the announcement of the pick that they've they've made, you know, and and then.

It shuts off just in a hall with you know, you know, twenty tables. Yeah, at the Pontsomber rugby clubs.

And then it grows and it grows and it grows, and it becomes an important thing on the sporting calendar.

Yeah, one hundred percent, I think.

And then if you've got a team, because like you look at the Highlanders team list and Tony was sitting with Tony Lyle used today he was looking at the Highlanders teamless. He's a big Highlanders fan. He was like, Jesus is grim And if you're a sing like that, you could trade some pixelways. Yeah, because you look at Harry Plumber sitting on the bench for the Blues. Yeah, and and the Landers can't find it first.

Well, I mean that's the great thing about the bottom team getting the first pick exactly.

I mean that's just such a.

Great method of, you know, of giving someone an opportunity to get a superstar coming through.

Yeah, that's right, but they will never do that, I know.

Well, hopefully the NRL get into the draft and that'll make Union jealous and then they'll follow suit.

Yeah, and more international players, I mean, if there's more money in there. But you know, Enton de Point, it's just being announced, but being brought in by Crusaders or something.

That'd be good.

That'd be great.

And I love it too because Obversely's players love coming and playing at a super.

Because it lifts the game. In the off season, they all blacks.

Bit of injury news for the All Black Sam Kaine. He's got his got his head split open. I mean it's like about twenty stitches in there. It's a massive gash. So he's out for the French game, which means apparently there's this talk of Ardie going back to seven, the human Skewer, Summer Penny Fee now the first five killer going to blindside and side titty to number eight.

Oh side titty. Yeah. Wow.

But the strangest comment came from the assistant coach. It's his name, not Hanson, what's his name, Scott? Scott Hanson had this to say about Sam Kane.

Sam was a quality leader.

He's a great storyteller.

He can see how's performances for the All Brex most recently or miss Sam.

Can we go.

He's a great storyteller. Yeah, so is he in the middle of a game? Is he telling a story? How is that relevant to a good player?

It's relevant, relevant for the for the court session after the game.

It's like, he's a quality player, he's a great storyteller, and he've seen his performance, so it's like he's just thrown in there. It's like saying he knows how to boof bears and he you've seen his performance lately is great. He's got a massive dong and he's a great foot because it's such a weird thing to throw in there.

Yeahs speaking of messive dons. Is what's the deal with dog Roll?

Is he not playing?

He is playing, he's paying, he's playing as he stepped down from captain or something.

No, he's not going to be the captain of the Crusaders.

See, I see that's just driving through and heard the headline and put three and three together because because I thought maybe they'd get him on blindside. Yeah, because we've got a bit of lockage going on.

Yeah, him to provide any of them.

Yeah.

Six, it's a powerful if they started putting him on the side. Yeah, he got dog rolling.

I think it's dog roll.

He gets in trouble when he's coming into rucks, you know what I mean.

My first because he's so great to have a captain who is always getting into trouble.

Yeah, yeah, it's totally and I loved it. And he was a bit of biffo in the weekend and it was it was him that came in first with the all the referees like to show some leadership, you know. That was leadership. That's how comeing in and going, don't funk with my plans in there. Throw Yeah, I'm trying bones touch my players and throwing bones.

The repercussions for firing up.

I thought it was funny when he was first named captain of the All Blacks and then they named about five vice captains.

It's like, not a big vote of confidence and the decision making of dog roll. It's quite funny.

We are up against a bit of time presture this morning, so we might have to knock this thing on the head there.

But got some of yours pleases, Well, we do. But should we get to them tomorrow. You might have to get to them tomorrow.

Yea, So this fingering really fucked me?

Literally yeah, literally literally. Do you want me to have a look as well, just to get a second opinion? Oh yeah, I mean I don't use my hands by the way I use my other I.

Mean it's your system running. Are you running a good operation for you? Have a look?

Hands free shape already?

All right? It stuck fast thing on the head. Will be back tomorrow. Thanks having me.

Guys, you've been listening to The Seas, a gender podcast brought to you by Export Ultra. For more episodes, like and follow on iHeartRadio or where you get your podcasts.