Caravan Episode: Black Caps Vs England - 1st Test Day 1

As Ruga as a tail ender on strike.

This is the alternative commentary collective. Oh thanks to the great New Zealanders at max Raft.

I had an absolute debarkle where I I got a nap that was cheer yoga app, but doing for doing yoga and a cheer right, there's no shit you need an that.

It was an app, And so I went.

I was sart fifteen bucks a month and I was like, okay, that's okay, that's that's good.

Did they send you the chair or you why?

No, you can just use your own cheer. This is defended by Latham anyway. So I was doing that for three or four months. I did it twice, say yeah looking good, Yeah, thank you. Yeah, it's nothing to do with the yoga app though, And so I've been doing it for three or four months and then my wife said to me, what the hell is this?

Eighty bucks a month for a yoga app? And I was like what?

And so I've been paying eighty bucks a month for a cheer yoga app.

That I didn't even use.

For someone to tell you what a chair. It was ridiculous.

As Atkinson comes in again full and dug out by lath And they'll get another couple here as it beats a man.

At mid ONN So are the runs flowing at the moment.

I don't know why, Jas, but I just feel like you're the kind of guy who would sign up for a lot of apps and probably get lurid into that idea that you get the first month free, but then you give them your credit card and then after the first month they charge you.

But you would have forgotten that you've.

Given them the credit card, and you don't know how to unsubscribe. You don't know how to unsubscribe, so you just sign up for everything because you think it's free, but then it ends up costing you.

Well, am I right?

Probably paying two thousand dollars a month on apps? Yeah?

I probably am I. This says driven beautifully by length and but straight to the man at CAPA, I didn't have a on You know how you do that you scan the QR codes, and I didn't have one on my phone, so.

So you download you bought one. I bought one online.

Online, a QR code scanner, and cost me one hundred and eighty bucks. That was I know, It's just think what I probably would have been a month and keys he said to me, it costs you one hundred and eighty bucks.

Jase, you've got one on your phone, you idiot.

So yeah, I probably.

Spend about two and a half k on unwanted apps. Well, you know, case in point, the meteor app. It's not even a weather app. I mean it tells me where the meteors are going to hit out.

And once you know it's in three and a half thousand years, you don't need to check it again.

With exactly it's going to be three and a half thousand years.

You don't check it every week to see if it's only coming closer.

You know, I think exactly in a situation, Jase, you've got to get rid of all your credit cards because that means all your subscriptions will automatically stop, yes, and then they'll email you straight away your email than minutes, and then you can work out the ones that you want the ones that you don't.

When you leave your credit card, it's great, wakes to Williamson.

Just outside of the off stump. He leaves alone.

There's no run and you see these apps. You had no idea what they are. You know, Asian hearties, top couple. You know it's ridiculous. You know where did they how did they jump onto you?

Is there an Asian Holly app?

Is it just an example?

So New Zealand currently fourth on the World Test Championship standings, England haven't got a hope in hell of getting anywhere at the moment.

Woke by Williamson just fall short of the man at third slap. It's just sort of a length again and it was a loose shot from Williamson.

Wokes has really settled onto a good line and linked to Williamson the right handle, which is interesting. He's played in Miss a couple of times. That was a beautiful delivery, a little bit shorter and Williamson on the back foot, but it nipped away a bit, didn't it soft enough hands to make it drop before for slip?

It's still too short in my view, Jerry, Yeah, I think you're right, Jay, it's just a fraction and I think you know this is defeated again by Williams. And if I had Asian hotties as an app, my wife would probably notice that.

Yeah, they knew notice that much.

Be like, why am I what's this?

One hundred and fifty bucks for Asian hotties on this, you know I had I.

Had a nap which is more of a sort of explain it, and again I didn't like it. Came it's called Asian driver. Nothing so right I'm driving. It will sense where an Asian driver is around me, right, so you might say turn left, turn right in it will take me towards Asian drivers.

Or you can set it so you're gonna you're gonna have it in a avoidance setting or are coming together settings?

Exactly right, yes, once again.

Too short by Wokes and this is left alone outside the up stump, not challenging to the batsman at all.

Can set it to dating or dating setting or crash avoidances up to you.

Whatever you choose, we'll both Yeah.

Yeah, useful air piece, you say, can you share that with me?

No third umpire, no rewinds, just raw dog commentary. This is the alternative commentary collective.

Oh thanks to the great New Zealanders. At Rasin.

Looks like he bawls the heavy foot.

He's already dug up a bit of a dividend there, bowler's end.

Here he comes bride and cast upon three slips. That's a bit of delivery. It's full angle into middle and off.

It's been about four extras so far in this match. If I'm just looking at my brain, are you looking at your brain? Well? I tend to, you know, it's I'm visualized. I see my brain working.

He sort of look at your brain and a way, don't you ye.

Great when you're steamed, because it's it's like watching it's like going to a core Play concert.

It just cuts Williams forces him back when some jumps on the crease, guides that to cover point for a single.

He's off the mark, came Williams.

He's taken them fourteen balls.

That's Lee. I know you're a big cold Play fan, and you mentioned the concert twice I think when they were here, and that's all the wristbands here. I know you went as well with the kids. Imagine everybody that leeducated all those things at one time. What a should show that would have been?

Could someone have hacked the system?

Talking about by the Israelis.

Or the or the Iranians for that matter, Mossad.

So what he's saying is everyone's probably not the right format for that chat, but it's it's worth you know, it's worth discussion. Lath and monstrike.

He's on thirty two, facing cars coming over the wicket edges through the vacant fourth slip region and that all race their way for four. It's a good delivery from cars, head Latham driving in a little bit of extra bounce, a little movement away, a little bit lucky thrown Latham.

I think I'm just weary of technology. I think I think that's the thing. Just you know, how far is it going to go? Anyone's locked in on these wristbands that light up at the same time with the music. You know, I don't want to be controlled on that.

Yeah, I'm with you on that.

I don't want to be controlled by Elon Musk or anyone else.

Was that who was controlling?

Was it? Think he controls everything?

Now?

He was like in a DJ booth, this is short from cars and let them swayze out of the way. So on thirty six Williamson's one New Zealand forty three for one after team, I.

Mean, what's the worst you can do hacking into fifty thousand people's electric wristbands?

What's the capability of those ristbands? Kill everybody?

And welcome to the starting there is.

I wonder who that was? That was someone on the rival broadcast TV and Z. It's called a fanbassador. I like that, Yes, yes, fanbassador.

Good lucking man.

Speaking of crowd technology that can be deployed to enhanced viewing experience. Can can you get groundeers New Zealand grounds where you can tune into the commentary.

Because that's something waiting to happen. Why don't we have that huge.

To have that with the ACC we had some terrible problems with.

With that and we were pioneers on the wrong side of history with that technology.

Is Williamson facing Wikes. It's full and straight and played with a straight back by Williamson.

No run, but yeah, it was that. I think the problem with how grand is if I remember rightly, I know what match it was. But the problem with our grand is they were playing the match previous, you know, to the match that people were watching, because you know they weren't we're actually playing last week's match. What's the kind of pointless.

We just put our best foot forward.

We thought it was some of our best works, so you didn't realize the audience really wanted live common.

Try get to for one and get this game and last week's game.

I mean we're an in statement product.

I'm pretty sure the story of that features in the a SEC Almanac.

Mounting Yeah out now. Of course they're all good bookstores.

Worke's boiling with four slips in a galley, comes into Williamson, who's own one. This one seems backstrokes Williamson on the pad and there's no run. I think our first ever broadcast with those years and the ground years, someone accidentally tuned in and they got the I think they thought they were getting possibly the rady in New Zealand broadcast and I think Lee you were describing there was a

I don't know we would call it bonus footage, bonus audio, but hey, you know, ish their own.

Sometimes you'd see people who were who were where in the ground is and they were reasonably close to the caravan. You could tell that they'd accidentally purchased them and they didn't purchase them because they were listening to us, and you just watch their faces.

You were delivering lines. You see someone vomiting sometimes.

Well ebsent on one facing Wokes, it's full. Williamson resists the big drive, just defends it with soft hands to Gully, no run forty three for one.

The incident you're referring to, gentlemen, is of course preserved for posterity in the ACC Almanac, which is out now.

And it was a letter that came in from Barry.

I think of Takabooner for memory, who had got the ground is very excited. Was expecting I think, I guess you'd call the mainstream commentary got the ACC instead. But what was remarkable is that he remembered so much of the detail of what we were talking about, which I'll take money through.

In the minute works again, Sir Williamson defends watchfully off the front foot no run.

So Barry said, there was a ten to fifteen minute slot where one commentator was obsessed with the different types of protective cricket boxes and continue to talk about the intricate details of that part of the male anatomy protected. Then there was an account of taking a cat to eaton park, with the suggestion by another commentator that this could have been useful to smuggle a bottle of vodka up at anus.

I remember that, well Is Williamson on one face quote goes backs down there.

That sounds stupid now, But it's all.

About context, that's right, I mean, And that's not really that, that's not the key part. The fact is we went on, we explored that option that led to a description this is barrier talking of how the cat was buried under the Eden Park turf and opened up into a full discussion of how to dispose of human remains, with an account of how one commentated disposed of his stepfather's ashes. Listeners were then invited to talk about how they had disposed.

Of ashes.

Those of the glory days, you know.

They really were Actually this is classic casey see.

Then there were comments on the smallness of Trent Bolt's mouth, with a suggestion that his mother probably had small nipples, followed by discussion on one of the Australian players being a lesbian. This is a barrier of tacaparity, and we went on to conclude a product like this which is officially sponsored by New Zealand cricket brings your organization and the game into some serious disrepute.

I'm just peace to call it a product.

Yeah, boundary pushing commentary with no pets. This is the alternative commentary collective.

Oh thanks to the great New Zealanders Atrazine.

I wasn't likely. I preferred not to have a full erection.

I would go sei, yeah, because I always I always felt a semi is more impressive and less intimidated, or a semi is more attractive than a full rager.

And please forgive me if this is asking too much, jas I'm just trying to get a mental image circumcised.

Yes so, but the you know, but if you had a full erection is suggesting Jason limits some of your shots.

It does.

Well, that's actually what stopped me from going out with a full erection. I tried to play a non drive one day and nearly snapped it in half armed. So yeah, that was that was a lesson learned.

And is the physio offer their services when you do get an abrasion.

It brought out the magic spray, which just makes it worse, makes it worse, actually stiffens it up a bit.

That's got any magic spray floating around the studio. Do we wouldn't mind a we spray on the downstairs. Just want to rate myself.

Yeah, well you've gotta be careful the first time to do it. You might just blow your bone.

It's been done before, beautiful day Christ your fool.

Look at that.

That's magnificent.

Is ack and some cums and bowls to ratching outside the off stump.

And it is the same pogitical game. I remember you used to go out as you say, no box aren't clearly with an erection semi probably your case, but with the box taped to your head, yes, helmet suggesting this is how I'm going to play. So how he bolt he bowlders among.

That exactly exactly confused the bowler.

And would you wear it sort of over your nose and mouth like a bay on my forehead like a rhino.

Yeah, you've got to be back in the day that the helmets wasn't such a big thing.

No, it wasn't so no helmet it was.

It was frowned upon if you wore a helmet back in the day. Atkinson now comes into ratchet Revenger who hingles the bat and beats the man at gully with the miss field actually and they'll get a single.

So just to get this correct, so it's frowned upon to wear a helmet, but walking out with a full or semi erexed penis and a box strapped your head, that was that was Koshit exactly.

Right, It's exactly that's exactly how it was.

We're looking at some of these ideas through the black caps.

That's old school stuff. You say that now and people go they don't believe it, But that's that's how it used to be.

Absolutely, you were never worried about copping one on the end of the dob.

Well, this is the point. If you don't have a box on, you're you're less likely, if you know what i mean. If you've got a helmet on, you're less you're more likely to take one in the head than if you don't. You know what I'm saying. You get out of the way.

Atkinson outside the off stump to Williamson, no run it and it Tony. It portrays to the bowler when you're out there with a full erection, I'm confident.

You're not going to hit my erection.

Yeah, that's how good my batting is I'm coming out here with a full erection. Yeah, and it's let's be frank, a big target and.

Puts them off their line. They start bowling at it, and that's the last thing that says done.

Yeah, you're just tucking it off your hip.

Then it's a red rag to a ball. I can see that now, no glove.

Just bear knuckle broadcasting. This is the alternative Jerry collective.

Oh, thanks to the great New Zealanders at resume.

You know, there was a very strange situation when we were at commentary school. Wasn't there LEAs cast comes in again, goes to Mitchell, tickles it away behind square, I think about two, but it's not there.

And it was.

It was Brian Waddell and Jeremy Coney who were our teachers at commentary schools, And well, let's just say that Brian Model was doing something to Jeremy Coney that was very difficult for him to commentate while he was doing.

It's his mouth was full.

Of Jeremy Coney actually a part of Jeremy Coney anyway, and really proved the point.

To us coming what the point was? Though, why do you remember that day? Though? I think then we break for lunchon we in the afternoon, we now afternoon. I think We've talked about microphone technique and what I've learned. You know, just because you've gone to commentary school, you've got a degree in commentary, doesn't mean you're a good commentator.

No, it's somethings you learn on the job. Like Glane's maybe do that to him countless times on the call for no reason.

It's car sicking in three slips.

Right, there's Williamson going back and rising and guiding it to the first of the second gullies.

The main thing I learned from commentary school is schedules. I mean, if they say can you do commentary on Thursday, and go no, not up, but how I'm good for Wednesday And they say, well, the test doesn't start till Thursday, and then you go, well, it's not good to me. So you've got to fit in with what's happening with the game. And that's the first thing you learn, and it's that simple. And once you learn that, it's a lot easier you stop ringing up and saying, look, I'm

Yeah, there's been carless days here at the AC studio where I have come in for various reasons and seeing you here sort of looking around saying when are we commentating? And I have to say, you know, there's no test this month.

That's no good to me.

Can in the middle of winter?

Can't we pre record my bits? Yeah?

Time later before a super rugby ficture. Perhaps we'll be here seven o'clock on a Saturday night. She's about play the Highlands and you're walking, you know, ready for a credit commentary.

I'm just doing carlor stuff. Anyway, it's not going to change. I can pre record that. Whack it in there.

Later we could get a button bar with just some lee Hart chat help with fire off any stage. To be honest, this conversation could be.

I mean a lot of the stands haying going to change within the day, you know, I've talked to Mike about that. Later I might get a year's with a commentary done.

We could blanket and voice.

Williamson forces him back, pushes it to cover point no run cars is one for thirty three or fight point five New Zealand one thirty two for three.

We could also preload into this button bar, maybe some problematic comments about an app that identifies the ethnicities of different drivers, until we fire that off from timetime as well.

Totally pre record a whole lot of apologies in previous commentaries.

There must be a collection somewhere.

Well used to get a whole lot of things. Come back to Youj's back to you, Jerry back to you, Toney you know jack him in.

Cast again bowling to Williamson. He goes, pulls it away nicely.

In time.

It perfectly for sheer runs around from deep back with square or do the fielding. They'll get two and Williamson moves to forty New Zealand one thirty four for three.

Hel on a rugby commentary once We did famously cross the g lane for some pre recorded commentary at the ground and was unfortunately some of the worst content you will ever hear. He may as well have been in the different room just imagining he was there. It's very uninsightful stuff. So he might be reluctant to allow you such loose parameters.

Nearly I knew re member I was banned from the Black Clash commentary. I believe I was field report off in the quarterback and houd on the field. I think Mike or something. I think he's been banned as well, now for for all the other reasons. But Lee, what's the vibe down on the ground by the chips? And and I said, I don't know when you come down, phone out yourself, you know what I mean? And for some

Well, I often find that infuriating when the commentator this, how's the vibe down there in the stands, You're like, you can see it?

Yeah, Yeah, he's stupid.

You assume how it is. You can hear it, you can see it. You've been your crew game before. Yeah, make it.

Up, old peace, no protection.

This is the Alternative commentary Collective, all thanks.

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You ever fired off any photos of the downstairs sooner and liha, No, thank you?

I not really?

No, not really is so that's an interesting answer.

There's room there. Yeah, can you hear member, Mike, because it and are out. I can't. Yeah, not really Like back in my heyday when that might have been a I'd have to go to one hour photo lab, get them printed out, you know, and then post them to the person that's it doesn't hold up in court.

So well, yeah, there's the person with the big black hood over them, sort of bursting some phosphorus to flash it.

And sometimes those photos would come out out the window. You know. You could see the photos coming out with the one alfho lab everybody else's photos.

Yeah, you can see them being developed. There were some Sheldan waiting for their ball photos. They get a ball photo of yours.

And then the chemist was a chemist somebody who go do you want those enlarged sir? Okay?

Best following to Williams those full defensey on the pitch, I.

Met us half tiny, you're you're a bit of a.

I can'ts a.

You can say I'm often firing off.

It's very hard. I mean, I'm not saying I've tried, but it's very hard to get a good photo it.

I think she just use other people's no one needs to know that it is indeed mine, just as long as it If it's apeck, then it's that's our pit.

You just got to get the right color. Don't you send it? You go online? I suppose you can download a photo.

I have to find the colors a little bit off anyway, even on my own. There's something going on down there. It's maybe a few shades up.

We're down this year again, bowling to Williamson, a little bit wider and looked up using the breeze.

Defended by Williamson one for three.

Find if you go a few shades darky, you'll think you'd a couple more centimeters as well.

So in the winter, if you got a tan on you, it looks healthier, doesn't it.

Well, especially if it's not yours, it looks incredibly healthy.

Defended the Williamson. I've just got a member to take that stop photo kind of embossed.

Yeah, the Giddy's image part off the side.

To take that off, pop that out.

It's a lot to pay for a Giddy sponsorship just to send a picture for someone cover it out on photoshop. But they can tell the watermark off the picture. They'll get you in trouble.

From the shir But I remember you telling me this, Jerry. I mean, if you're going to be sending a deck peck, you know you don't want to be. You know, it's not something you want to do often. So make it count. Send it to thirty forty people at once, you know it kind of canvass them if you like.

I find doing it by email is very effective. So you can actually put on the email address, you know, put yourself in the sind column, but you.

Don't blame copy it. So you make sure you can see everyone else, that god.

Everyone else.

You want to have maybe thirty forty people in the CC. They can see friend's emails. They know that there's some competition. Open the attachment.

A few of them are gonna go, oh yeah, yak yak, and they might talk to each other about it, but a lot of them will be as you say, I've got competition here, and this guy has sent my deck back to forty people on his friends list.

Yeah, it's a silly A lot to think about. Do you leave your work email signature on the email? Sweet worker?

Suppose that's pretty harmless fun though, really, isn't it?

You know, silly can be.

He comes Outkinson.

Oh, this is nipped back off the sceam as Mitchell's shoulders arms, but it was too high. Just a half shout from the England team. One forty eight for three. This one really noodled back. Actually has been a little bit of c movement in the last week while so pitch dries out a little bit bit of extra bounce on the Haglely oval track.

Look to leave it struck him right on the legs.

Mitchell's three or eight William since fifty two from one hundred and four deliveries, striking exactly fifty Zatkinson comes in again, digging it in, sliding down the leg side just underneath the armpit of Mitchell.

Proll be good hit.

And Atkinson's got a little bit of it looks like zinc on the end of the Schneiers, but I only needed the schneiz so it looks like he's maybe been eating a donut or having a pint of guinness. Dipped his nose in and carried on with his day.

One for three is Atkinson comes in again too, Matchell. This is short which it goes back, just works the behind square on the legs side for a single Yeah, the whole Dick pic.

Thing Tony is interesting concept, doesn't it. I mean, very work. When did that? When did that start?

I'd say it's as old as time. I'd say, when you see that in Pompei, you see the penises carved into the stone, I think that was probably someone sending a dictic they were chiseling in their manhood and hope that someone else might see it at some point. Yeah, I say, for long of men have had venises, they've probably have been sending pictures of them to ladies and men for that matter.

So do something you don't see a lot of nowadays, and that's flashing. No very popular in the nineteen seventies, nineteen eighties. It's fallen by the wayside in recent years.

How did he get the coats?

I reckon it constant.

Again this short Williamson sways out of the way of it.

Yeah. Again, flashing is quite cool because it's very quick kit and a lot of it's to your imagination. Where is looking, Dick. Think the's something that's there for all the time, downloaded and whatever.

I've been flashed. I've been victim of a flashing on a train and going to tell you very disconcerting. It's very it takes your singing to realize what's going on. Just a young gentleman. He's actually wasn't young at all. He was older fella down the other end, and he was looking at me for a long period of time and he's making ye contact with me, and I was it's with a female companion at the time.

At consent.

This is short and Williamson gets out of the way of it for nine to three.

And I was looking down and thinking, what is this guy? He's looking at us at what does he want? And as I was looking at and I sort of glanced down and he just he has his piece out just in hand, steering at us, grinning.

What was he wearing.

It's a very very very normal clothes, very typical. He wasn't in the classic jump you know, the big old flash head round, which is what I would have expected. I looked down, Oh, there's the piece. He granted us to it, gave us a wencoln.

So how did he face it to you?

He just very casually exposed himself. He pulled his pans down, don't know, just sit about the front over the top of the pad.

Good on him.

A short and again Williamson sways out of the waiver into the over. We must come back to this thirty seven gone one, forty nine to three.

The commentary that makes even doc Balls sound good. This is the alternative commentary collective.

Oh, thanks to the great New Zealanders at max RA. You were talking about nichols before, and which I suppose is related to breasts. Yes, I met a you know, an olden wine and she had press, Yes, with a punt. Is it normally silicon? Silicon?

I think that's just yeah, I know what you're talking about.

Augmentation.

Yes, she's done is quite clever. She's put wine.

Casks in there, that's cast the ass short and ducked under by Williamson. Okay, so do you refel, refill them up and drain them.

She's got those taps literally on her nipples.

Oh right, the cast from the little plastic. And so she's got a couple of goon sets.

In there, well literally and one side of shadona the other is sad.

And so she's gone all white. She couldn't go white red.

Stand of night. She's got quite big hooters.

Cass short and pulled by Williamson, ou to mid wicket, but there's a man back for the pool shop.

He thought, let's get a single.

By the end of the night. By the end of the night not so big, well drewpy, but everyone's read out.

They're so drunk they don't notice that her breasts are shrunk one and they're not size anymore.

But you can refill them pretty easily.

Case, how do you read them?

Well, I'm not.

Cascassie Ayes too short, Mitchell Pulse. This one it's up in the air. It's up in the air. Man underneath.

It takes a catch.

He looked at Pollard and he ended up flying down to third man, Old Pete.

No prodiction.

This is the Alternative Commentary collective poll thanks.

To the great New Zealanders at Max Raw.

It's a nice castile chat.

Well, yeah, that's going back.

That is when I was experimenting, well we were experimenting with a girlfriend and you know, I decided to. There was a little bit of pushback around changing lanes.

Was it.

Yeah, so I decided to. I was exploring myself in the showers and comes quicks back just fiends as Williamson and know it was back there, just cleaning things up and I thought, you know, I find about to I need to get the feeling of it, and so I wept it, take of soap up.

Mass and it was a nice castile, was it?

Yeah?

Sharp hitches?

I mean you don't want to use a brand new one. Why did you have sharp sharp edges?

Well, you know the nights the new Cake of Knights castile is quite sharp.

I just got the corner of it up there.

You took it out of the back of eight Yeah, yeah, yeah, yes, yeah, I took it quos odd edged old just fall short of root at first slip.

It was a genuine edge from Williamson.

Just didn't quite carry to Joe route.

But that had a rope on it that it was No, no, didn't.

It's quite dangerous.

I'd be more comfortable if they had a rope on it.

Yes, So there's a lot of things that were going wrong.

With that's why it was invented.

Yeah, I'll tell you what that That is what we love about Cain Williamson. Soap on the rope, the nice castille, but the soft hands, soft enough that it dropped a good foot before Joe root first slip, and thank God for.

That, and say soft hands of Kam Willimson. He's eighty not out.

Well, maybe that's why his hands are so soft. Years of Night's Casteele.

Yeah, but that was that was a long long time ago. I mean I was, I'm talking.

It doesn't make any twenties. It doesn't make it correct, you know.

No, it's just very conscious about, you know, making sure if it did change lanes, that it was legal.

Any consensure. Then comes murder She works until Williamson. Williamson back defends. It's a good ball, just back of a length from murder. He murder she Wokes.

So you're calling a murder she Wokes.

That's our initial nickname for Chris Wokes. But Tony Larle prefers the woke's mind virus to feel it's a bit more twenty twenty four.

Right, Okay, how many people know murder she works?

It's nice. I like it. It's a nice pop culture reference.

What was the one? Was a bone was going for.

Angela Sainsbury tea bone's going for a woke's mind virus.

Well, that's another good delivery from Wolkes.

Angela Lansbury, Angela Lansbury or she was murdered?

She she wrote, Yes.

I'm not sure how many valousners would know would recognize that name.

But she's bouncing all over the place. Don't we snap on a rope?

Let's still make soap on a rope?

Oh yeah, now are you?

Why is it on a road?

Exactly what Lisa is incomes Wokes and it's wide and cut by Williamson down to the boundary for four. Too much wet from Quokes and Williamson goes to eighty four in New Zealand two hundred and seven for four. But it's it's obvious, Lee Baker. Why it's got to break on it as Lisa? So if you do lose it up your backside, you can pull it back out again, right, Yeah, what do you think it's.

Why do you think a whold of fruit and veges has got to rope on it? Yeah?

Why do I think a whole lot of fruit vegees has got to rope on it?

In its name? Blake?

He said in my space All.

Right, yeah, it's gonna say, I loc market. None of the fruit vegees have got ropes on them.

The commentary that makes even top balls sound good. This is the alternative commentary Collective, all thanks.

To the great New Zealanders at Max Rath.

It's good. It's got an electric chord coming out of it, so it must.

Have lighter we'll speaking to you.

Remember that girl I was talking about who had the wine cart and plants and the breasts. Yes, there's a future. I didn't a feature I didn't actually mention. So you've obviously got like a red or white wine option left or right with charonay Rose whatever you know. You can change it.

As you do.

What she also had, which I thought was an ingenious thing, was a vape charger called well, you know a thing that is worth.

Like a USB port?

Yes, full delivery from emity. People drink wine and they always want to charge their babes.

Now I dare I ask where was the USB port on her body?

Or just it was between the breasts? Okay, between the cleavage. Yep.

Wow, this woman is some piece of bionary.

See why she's popular ound parties.

Absolutely sounds like the total package, total.

Package, so literally the full package.

Can she charged the laptop off that USB one hundred and twenty?

What's Atkinson? And to Smith, he's back across and defense. He's defended his first three balls in test cricket.

Comfortably?

Is it USB B or USBC.

Well, this is the problem, you see, because it keeps changing. Everything's upgraded, so you know, I think you had like an adapter thing there so you could actually put your friend.

Well I like about the charging pad? Is it because just put your phone on it?

Yeah?

See if a modern woman would be wireless, if she's doing it today, would be do you want rose?

Do you want Chardonnay? Put your phone in my wireless?

Yest?

Can I have a glass wine? And can I change my phone? I don't want to talk to you, but you know what I mean.

That's and the phone can just slip between if she's wireless, though, she's probably going to have to be horizontal for that wireless charging pad to work.

No, not if you put it in between.

I mean, well ironically off and she was.

It's just amazing what they can do nowadays.

Just because you can do something, that doesn't mean you should though. That's that's what I always say.

But she into Phillips Zippy from Rainbow was back and fins back to the bowl.

I mean, what a great marketing opportunity this woman must have been to wine makers. What a great way to showcase new Zealand Wine to the world, take her abroad, yep.

I mean she's she's a wine festival floats this brash year full toss.

There was cash in near Phillips, but he scampers through for a single. Was a big rank full toss. But he couldn't be.

The man festival and stilettos. That's what she was.

Did she have cuts?

She must have custom made bras and stuff, right, because the size of the breasts are going to change.

Yes, So how does that work? It's kind of like it's above it's above my pay grade. I don't know, but you know, I think I think maybe the wine company made the bra for him.

My year into Smith.

In my head, I've never I've never met this, this this person. But in my head I'm imagine like a fembot kind of look, you know, and powers. But with yeah, year into Smith and Smith we'll get off the mark. The beautiful shot, well timed through the we'll just get too but he's off the mark successfully. There's Nathan Smith and he gets a nice round of applause, and the two fifty is up as well for using on turn and fifty for six in the sixty eighth over Zach.

Who won't make you know she she's an detected woman, you know, in every sense of the word beautiful person. But has these wine cask gress and why not?

I want to make it clear. The breasts are not square like a cast.

No, no, no, they're taking the box off and it's just the silver or the or the plastic, the goockladders, the good sack.

Ye.

So it's funny that this is a lot about you, Mike Land, that you're imagining. You are imagining torpedo tests because where I'm thinking goon sack, I'm thinking like angelous breasts of wine.

Lash here and to Smith, he drives this confidently wide of I've met off, and you'll get a single confident cricket from the dead Tom.

That's the end of the over. In New Zealander two hundred and fifty one.

Per six coverage, you'll never leave, even when it's outside the line. This is the alternative commentary collective.

Oh thanks to the great New Zealanders at Regime