"Birth Care For Number Twos"

Life from the Export, Beer Gut and Studio and brought to you, as always by Expert Ultra, which is the bear for here. This is the Agenda Podcast for Wednesday, the fourth of December.

The Agenda Podcast, the home of Sporting Nonsense and clap Trap, brought to you by Export Ultra.

Good morning, Julane, and a very good morning to Matt Heath.

Kid. Hey guys morning.

I'd like to start with an apology to you, Matt Heath.

What'd you do this time last night?

Last night we filmed it was like a bonus episode of Game of Two Halves. They said, we need someone for the buzz, the burner around.

Yes, I've been involved in that. I've been I've been humiliated on it.

A little bit of a spoiler. But we had so I rung Heath.

We had a technical meltdown, which meant your you could hear the studio, right, yeah, but the studio couldn't hear you, right. And so what happened was basically you rung and were panned for about two minutes and then hung up on.

It was like Laura was telling me that I that I didn't know what I was doing. I was like, look, I'm just trying to do I'm not getting any money for this. I'm just trying to help out. I'm getting absolutely ripped here. Already I already got fired from the show, and now I'm getting ripped. At least you got fired. Yeah, well you got canceled from it.

Fired.

I was also doing a radio shirt the same time. It's been recorded, playing the victim card here a little bit.

I like to take issue with that whole segment of Game of Two Halves.

Yeah, the burner has it worked well.

The thing is I was involved in it and they didn't know how to hang up on me. So I was just hanging around like an old man's nappy. They were going just abuse me, get off? Did you like get out?

I'm like that's what I'm still here and they're like, oh, how do we hang up? And I was like, well, I'm still here.

Like just you know, when you're ready.

I've got Violent Christmas starring you know, the guy from Stranger Things on pause waiting for the call.

It's great movie, Violent Night.

Have you seen it? No, It's a sort of die Hard meets Santa Claus and there's and it turns out that Sanacals is this sold Viking guy, but he's become an alcoholic, and he's and and but then he gets he gets sort of stuck in this house with these people that are getting attacked by terrorists, and so Santa Claus just goes around. David Harbor I think his name is, just goes around. It absolutely kills people that really fucking violent.

But it's very, very very funny. So you've got the screen pause. He's got a sledge hammer paused over someone's ears.

I get the text from you to ring, I rang, and just get a flurry of abuse from Laura mcgoldbratt.

And then I'm like, well it was no good. Turn goes.

Right. I'll go back to my movie.

It's a killer that kills me. It's not a spoiler, because you know he still I don't know who's going to win that. I actually don't think that is twenty December.

All right, Okay, well, so just don't write, don't write that down, and don't see the calendar.

I might invite to remind yourself that shows.

You might end up on the cameroon floor anyway, So.

Imagine I'll be you end up getting abused, abused.

Okay, that's always good content.

A couple of layers of complexity because they're actually running in it's an actual phone. It's not like some sort of computer system. It's a genuinely a Samsung phone that Laura McGoldrick has to operate and she doesn't know how to use it, right she Yeah, so there's so there's that. Then it's also how hard does it time through a phone? Oh, you'd be surprised, you'd be surprised you can't. And then she turns the screen off, but it's still ringing and then.

It's going to have a bocket again. Yeah, that's why she couldn't hang up on you. There was Chris Key that couldn't hang up on that. Well, she if she knew that she didn't know after the phone, then it was unnecessary for it immediately going to abuse me for not knowing how to operate my iPhone that I operate every day, no problems at all. Yeah, there's a lot of blame man flung around. I mean it doesn't matter what's firing up ZIBB this week? What was I talking

Oh yeah, And I.

Was like, yeah, but if your heart beat suddenly beating at one eighty, you do want to know about it. And you're just sitting on the couch watching Violent Night or something, and it's not just that you've been abused by Laura A. Goldrick down the phone line. You might need to go to the hospital. So do you monitor you?

Its quite a bit because you've got a little smart watch there.

A little but I just mainly monitored the little bunny on it. It looks at me that was the money. Do you feed that there? You feed that money? Give it at the chickens.

What's your heart rate right now? Yeah?

Are you able to check that? You'll check that for you guys, or just what's a normal.

Heart rate range? We'll see.

This is all these information that came in seventy and ninety or something.

Is it you can mock out If it's too low and you're not an athlete, you've got issues, you.

Can monitor all you're right. But if you don't know what the information is telling you that it's right, you can do an e C.

Fifty sixty is probably resting fifty sixty?

Is it?

Okay for a minute, Yeah, whether I go amout sixty five?

Yeah, okay, so bit high.

But yeah, but yeah, yeah, I am. You're engaged. I'm in New Zealand's top sporting podcast. I've got to have a level of you know, do you mind?

Do you monitor it any other times, like when you're taking a dump or maybe making furious love? Do you look down you're furiously making love?

Do you look down?

Why haven't I been doing that? I don't know. I reckon.

My heartbeat is at the highest when I'm taking a dump at the moment because I had some quite bad constipation issues. It's gonna get around one. You get an anaerobic workout every time you do. Yeah, it's the it's the egg and you know it's the boiled egg and spinach what blocks you up.

Boileding and cheese dyed. Gross.

So the boiling and cheese dye just to block you up.

So galler.

It's not a diet.

Is it a diet? I'm suggesting it is.

Okay, So the idea is that you eat nothing but boiled eggs and cheese, so you get blocked up, and then you get your anaerobic exercise and trying to get it out the other end.

A high protein diet will do that.

Yeah, well, but you're running the hemorrhoid gauntlet thought. Yeah, so it's blowing out your hemorrhoids. That's a real trade off moment. That's why you have to get a trainer in the bathroom with you.

When you're doing this.

You've got to get your rate between nineteen hundred.

Don't blow it out. Yeah, that's the idea. Back a little bit, Ease back a little you're gonna get roids.

Would you take one single hemorrhoid to drop five killos? Right now? How are you to if I could make that pack to the devil five gp hemorrhoid, I go three hemorrhoids just like that, right now, straight away, I'm supposed to be you've had hemorrhoids without the way.

Okay, how about then? How about three gallstones? How about a golstone per five cages?

What's involved in a gulstone? Is that one of the ones you have to piss out?

You you don't have to piss it out, but I mean some people do pass them. Yeah, my spooch had that and it was the most painful thing. They or they laser them, they stick it.

But is it painful then two hundred trips to the gym and eating?

Right?

No? No, definitely have you person?

No, I haven't.

I've known some people who have, and they said it is potentially the most painful thing they ever had.

No paying, no game. So what are you offering five kilos for a gullstone? How much about loss? You offering me? Ah? Will you give me ten? Yep?

I take it for ten, but there needs to be the size of a marble.

No. Have you read much about quantum quantum data storage? No?

I sure haven't.

I mean I can't just looking looking ways of storing information and rendering and essentially like this is making it less complex. Another dimension? Let me go, if you could just have your dimension yeah, I want to unload it on another version of myself and another dimension. There to be quite good quantum fat storage.

Quantum fat storage.

So mania and the green mania on Earth three six five. Hang on a minute, am I someone else's quantum fat storage? What's happening? Somewhere out there is a rip ripped and a ripped mad heat that they're just going I just can't put the weight on.

I can't put it on.

Turns that you've got quantum fat storage in this particular dementia.

I'm over here busting my and no results. Yeah, I mean drinking quite a bit as well. So somewhere there's a fat Andrew Dickens.

Andrew Dickens is gonna be huge, huge.

There's a Jack Jerry Browny out there. I like the I had one of those Apple Watches for a while. I was running the old Apple Watch, but I had to get rid of it because there's just another thing that wants your attention. It's like you get a text and all of a sudden, your phone goes, your lapsop goes.

The fucking light stuff blinking in the.

Disaster when you're trying to broadcast.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, because you can't you can't turn all of it off, and it's a stress meta, but it would give you the little notifications because it would miss your steps and all that. Yeah, it'd be like you'd close your exercise ring. Yeah.

And the only time I ever closed the exercise ring, genuinely, I was lifting up a beer bottle and it was like, congratulations, You've just done your exercise of the day. There's another one that they give you, like mindfulness. It's like, go and take five deep breaths or even and you breathe along with it. Yeah, breath along with it. I did that. It's a great work. You know, you've done five minutes of breathing whatever.

I was having a darry and it recorded there, just blowing it right back into the face of the watch. I'll tell you what. Closing your rings, well, your exercise rings would be a good name for that. Che building and cheese style talking. Before there'd be the exercise ring. Die, open your ring, open your ring, open your exercise ring, all right. Dumper size, Yeah, let's consta size.

Because you're going to go to the toilet anywhere. Yeah, most well be blocked up.

Well, that's why all through Asia they have to squat that's why they've got such great core strength, right they have to they You know, if you're in the toilet for twenty minutes, you're squating for two lazy toilets.

Oh so lazy. We're just sitting down.

We just squashed there, just squashed our cheek.

It's hutched over on their phones.

We gentrified the toilets watching Joe Shaker just put up the highest score on defense ever in a game of Fantasy football and beat me. See that's that's our problem. Yeah, that's right. Oh you could do that squatting though, if you had a deep enough squat.

Yeah.

But I mean you'd be actually getting healthier by squatting. If you're on your phone for as long as I am on the toilet and you're squating, yeah, you're actually be doing some good o. Your core would be outstanding. Well, that's yeah.

I know some people who have got in fact, Joe Jurry, I believe he's probably gonna hate me saying this, but I believe he's got the stirrups in the bathroom where he can put his feet up on the on like blocks, so he's in a squatting position. Well for giving birth like a birthing sweet.

Yeah, because I think it puts you in a more ergonomic position.

I don't know if the stirrups on your back.

I think he's not in his back, he said. I think it's actually more like he got himself on a birth care for two days after a ship, gets made toasties and gets given milo's.

We all seen the flowers.

Oh my god, kJ can stay with him on the first night.

Have you named it yet? Baptized?

He won't love that, You're right, No, I don't think he will love it.

But you know, he didn't have the birth care with him when we were overseas and we were sharing a room for about a week. And I've said it before, but I walked into the bathroom and I heard the toilet whimper.

Were you rubbing his shoulders or anything?

Looking on like every new handle play of music, give them.

Some nitress, every new hotel room which check into you can you walk into the bathroom and the toilet bowls just cowered in the corner.

I can't. And that's what's I think it's illegal now for Joe Jury and Gelane to share it. Yeah, it is all right. Let's take a quick break we'll come right back.

We're talking yesterday about the permutations of the World Test Championship Fellas, they've taken a hit.

The chances of us.

Winning it, which were already very slim, have just gotten so much worse because we got hit docked points for a slow over rate in that first game in christ.

I've I've got to do we care about slow over rates and test matches?

Well, it only went four days, I know, this is what and Ben Stokes even put a post out saying this test mets was finished with ten hours to spare it.

Thanks ic C.

Yeah.

Like, I think a bigger is that they don't start at nine am in the morning. Yeah yeah, I mean you're already pissing around to eleven am. I mean the working day starts at nine. Yeah, and then we always get this problem at the end of the day with light. Yeah, it's like sort that problemly out before the slow overrating and test matches. I mean, when was the last Test match that went to the end of day five?

Yeah, there was that one against England. We Yeah, it doesn't even last, No, it doesn't. I can't remember the last time. And if it wasn't affected by weather, yeah, yeah, I can understand why they're doing it because obviously.

I get it into the twenties and I get it an odio ice.

It does need to be a line though, otherwise some times will go in bove thirty overs in a day, you know what I mean. There needs to be a standard. But when a Test match is so advanced like that, surely there should be.

It should kick in. I don't know. I don't know when we would to kick in. I don't know.

If the game goes the distance, then you look back and reinforce it, like how did we get to this point?

I think?

But like like old Stokes said, if it didn't go the distance, it shouldn't be enforced. Yeah, because you're right about the nine a m. Thing, Because when we flew out of christ Church on the day of the Test match last week, everyone was queued up about eight o'clock in the morning.

The Hondies where Hondies were there, out and out in force, because Test matches is built for cricket hondies.

Yeah, by heard.

Outs, they just start at nine. It's crazy start interesting part of the ten.

Yeah, it's eleven.

What is eleven?

It's basically lunchtime?

Yes, and you're starting on brunch and then very soon afterwards you have lunch.

Yeah, and it gets and later in the season, and in early seasons it gets quite cold.

How about we start at how about we start at six am and have a breakfast break instead of lunch. Yeah, run a twelve hour like mining shift. You do it like the Singaporean John to run the works department. Get three shifts, three different multiple teams playing three shifts. You get.

You can get a Test match over in two and a half days.

We could run concurrent.

You could have a World Test Championship in like a month if you play we played for twelve hours in the other game place for twelve hours and we come back on.

You've got two Test matches running concurrently.

I see what you're saying. You could have three.

Because yeah, eight hours eight hours freaking current.

So you know, England and New Zealand go off, and then Australia and India to come on and use the same wicket for eight hours. Yeah, and South Africa come over, come on and smash stri Lanka and a massively advanced wicket in the early You.

Don't want to be betting last on that one.

Could that be coupled a better glass after three Test matches.

Yeah, it's eight. I can't even know the methods earlier. What I don't log about this is they've been fine fifteen the match fece. I thought the captain got fired for a slow over eight, But I'm reading that that looks to me like the whole team got fired.

Yeah you know, you're.

Fielding on the fucking boundary, you know, Yeah, yeah, fielding down a fine deep, fine leg. You're not bowling. You're getting the fifteen percent match, right, It's like, yeah, what was I supposed to do?

Admittedly it was quite slow, like play went to six thirty every day, because that's the maximum time. It's either ninety overs in the day or six thirty or start earlier. Yeah, yeah, totally, And it goes six thirty every time, and that only I think the maximum that bowl was like eighty one or eighty two.

So right, Okay, so they were flouting the rules a little bit.

They were a little bit, and but I think they all knew that this game was so advanced didn't matter.

Yeah, But the problem is it depends wildly on what kind of wick that you're working on. So if it's suddenly incredibly spin friendly. Then you just whiped through the overs, right.

That's why in India it's I don't think it's really an issue sometimes in India, Yeah, because.

Everyone's got a steam in from the boundary, like in New Zealand, especially zeal in England that's the same. It's seem as you should be find if they've being left handed and right handed batsman as well, havn't just changed the field, Yeah, adding too many boundaries.

Yeah, he's at one hundred and one hundred and thirty one sixes in tes.

He's slowing the plate. Yeah, let's go and get the ball. Yeah, that's right.

It was a man who heard it out of the ground, was it, Pope? Yeah, someone hit it literally out of the ground. Find them fine, what a fucking delay of game that is. There's too many variables just being just to field it. And also ferrals, Yeah, the ferals go for find them. You can find the find the DRS guy. Yeah, find the guy on the foot that takes ages rocket and rolling every every rock and roll you get a fifteen fifteen percent Yeah, yeah, for the for the Yeah,

Who gets that?

That's a good, great question I always asked.

I always wondered the concrete billionaire.

Yeah, does it go to the ic C?

I don't know do they need it? What do they need that money for? You know?

Yeah, it seems I mean that's always a bit arbitrary that the fine. So I always wonder that in rugby as well, with all discipline or whatever, your dog get fine.

And guarantee grassroots rugby or grassroots cracket. That guarantee grassroots getting over.

It goes to wash white washes the white washing.

Yeah, to pay everything. That's how you can keep white wash off the box. Yeah, it's they plaid from fine.

Here's question, go to this website, this money.

You go on a payment plan. Here's a question that's just sprung to my mind. If Trent Bolt was on our team, would we have done better than that?

Yes?

Would we have one? Yes?

Because we had no left armor and we just needed to change it up.

Well, I mean, isn't the elephant the room?

If we'd caught it, caught our catches, we would have probably won, Yes, definitely.

Well, it would have been at least even.

But I did.

I did find it our bowling, you know, it's just right arm over.

Yeah.

The only the only big variable was panich O Rourke who came in from a bit taller and got a bit more bounce. But it would have been good to just mix it up with yeah, with lovely trinity every now.

Hasn't he? Yeah, And I only noticed it on like day two when I was looking at the footmarks and the perch and I was like, oh, we don't have a left hander. They are only on one side of the worker only. But I don't even do the old wags to just throw some chaos into the mat. Stillway, still playing first class Crewe though in good shape, still playing for and D Yeah. I mean those were the golden areas, Golden era, wasn't it. We had lovely twenty and a sixty cameral. Just remember we used to go

Yeah, the speaking of Trent Bolt, the highest paid sporting people in New Zealand have been announced. This is something that the hero do every year. Look Kirkness, dear friend of the show, has compiled this. I've got the list there for you. I'll run them by you. Aaron Rutliffe Rootliffe estimated earnings two point two million dollars.

She's in at number ten doubles tennis player. Yep, it's good.

Trent Bolt means cricket player. He has earned two and a half million dollars.

He should be paid more than that.

I think this doesn't count his current two million dollar deal.

No, I don't think it does.

So.

I think the earnings were calculated before the I play, so basically double that, which would to him up this list.

But that's not bad. I mean five million to go play cricket.

Why the hell would why the hell would he sign up to play a Test match's going to take so long and they get fucking fine and then.

Every catch that's put up you drop gets dropped.

Yeah, that's right, that's just killing your stats. Scott Dixon is just Inetrimp Bolt. This is not bear in mind market.

At the endorsement, okay, because I think Scott Dixon would be ten times that.

He's got on his one screen. He's making a bit of cash.

But Also, if that's just straight earnings, you have to pay me more than that for what they do. We cand week out on an indie cat track.

Yeah, Like I don't know. I drove to work. If you.

Driving just about every week, have you seen the roads out there? Man, I could do tyrend Yeah, steering wheel stock?

What a that thing? Oh yeah? Yeah.

So that's an interesting story because it sounds like they were getting shitty with the guy on front and you know in you know, pushing it a little bit. Got to be really careful. I was thinking about that. Might talk about on news talks. He'd be this afternoon. You gotta be careful how much you push strangers, considering the percentage of people that might be on myth in the car running it. Yea. Yeah, when you're a boomer and you just whip the bird out and start abusing people, got to be it's a.

Risky thing to do.

You're going to put the bird away. I mean I'm a big fan of the doing the bird under the window. Yeah, like your own, like my own system, say, you know, just below the windows, finger yourself, just go like that and then that's all you need to do.

Yeah.

It's like when I often write emails abusing people and then I delete it.

That's what a Blincoln, didn't they When he died, they found hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of abusive leaders that.

He had written.

Should never freed you guys?

Ye all to XL.

Ryan Fox number seven on the estimated earnings less three point one mill I think he's one about eleven million dollars over the last couple of years.

But from the sounds of very expensive to be a golfer. Oh yeah, you've got to. I mean, people don't know unless you are the best. Yeah, evening, it's kind of covered. It's kind of one of those things where you've got to earn your stripes. See, you pay for your own flights, accommodation, transfers, everything.

And the other thing is if you're but the places he has to fly to so far away, you can't be sitting in cattle class then hop out and be expected to win, you know, play for your pay check.

You have to go first class to be able to sleep. So and hes to the players. They share private jets, you see, and full swing and stuff. If you're tied with two or three other players, you just will chatter a private jet together.

That's pretty much how they do it. They roll.

Steven Elkers edged him. He's got four point one mill, that's number six.

There is a retirement fund. Just hitt into your retirement. Just cheeky four meal, that's absurd.

Joseph Parker has earned five point three million dollars this year. Apparently had a big payday against Deontay Wilder last year. That's not too bad. Five mel still lives out in South Orklan. I think his neighbors with Roger toy Bus ashere.

I don't think he even haven't even done much this year, doesn't seem like it.

No big win against Waili Jiang's his name, big bang Jang, big banger. And then he's got another one actually not Febrary and Saudi.

Yeah yeah.

Danny Lee has also earned himself five million dollars. That puts him at number four and leads to the co has won six point three million this year and what was by all accounts and historic.

Year for her.

The vibe I'm getting here is I'm getting my kids into golf.

Yes, because there's a lot.

Of money to be made. I mean, even look at.

The emgery and that there's a lot of money to be lost playing golf. Oh yeah yeah, and that's a yeah yeah yeah, yeah yeah. So let's the co six point three mil again. This is not marketing endorsements or marrying into the ear to her.

Oh yeah you throw.

She's got another billion dollars on top of that kan Tech billionaire. That's right.

Chris Wood has earned himself eight point nine nine million dollars as he should.

Well yeah, but I mean it was like the Premiers Player of the month. I mean that's sane.

Yeah, ky we.

I don't think he's leading the EPL goal scoring.

I think he might be like third, but he is like right up there is heaven an historic run and Steven Adams once again tops the charts so far winty one million dollars.

That's not including endorsements either. No, and it's fresh is it meadow fresh? He's pushing at the main milk.

It's not including the New Zealand safety ad. Yeah, that's Andrew Mulligan have to say it. It's a real reach. So there's some others in there. Rich In Wanga two point two million, yep, j Mack. If we want to get him back, do we have to cough up two point two million dollars to get play for you much.

Pretty much, because that's why they're trying to lure him back. And if I was rich, he live for.

Your country for three hundred and twenty thousand a year. He goes, I have I have mate, and you kept on, you kept on like jerking me off with me and body. Yeah, totally.

It's like I'm okay smashing sushi and.

Earning a couple of mill I've had a gloup Scott McLoughlin one point sixty nine million dollars.

Lu Luson one point three Stephen lu Tour is making one point three million dollars a year playing in France or something.

Presume he is, Yeah, where Israel? ALISONA, That's it's a hard way in one point two million, it is. I thought that as well when I saw that the UFC, they get screwed those guys. But I mean there's probably some endorsement money outside that. There is, I'd say, but they don't. I mean they don't get their boxing paydays. I mean he is infinitely bigger star than Joseph Parker.

I think I think you could say that about Israel Adisagna with all of those top ten. Yeah, yes, like even Steven Adams to a degree, I reckon, yeah, that'd be very close.

Globally.

I think it might be easy because Steven Adams, you know, goes from team to team whatever. But but you know, when you when you're just in the middle of the ring and the octagon, everyone's looking at you. There's so much hoping building up. So you see Stephen Adams wasn't on the Joe Rogan podcast no so yeah, no so yeah. So he's pretty hard done by. And in meanwhile, he's having a here buddy scraps.

On K Road outside of McLaren.

Yeah, that's right over with Barbie with Glass Barbie enthusiast.

He's still scrapping out for no Cash on K Road, which leads me to my next question. For those price tags, which career would you take? So obviously Steven Adams is making twenty one mil, but can you be asked playing basketball. I mean, obviously that's the one I'd go for, a like playing basketball. Are we saying a lot of basketball though? Are we saying we've got the ability? Sayability? Okay, and you just have that career, which one would you which one would you go for?

I'm look, it's between I'm going to go where I'm not getting punched right in the face.

I'm not doing I'm not doing the fighting ones. I'm not I'm not and I'm not driving.

Real fast either. So Lee's golf in cricket, yeah, I'd be lydi your co Yeah, in every way if I can do a body swap.

Yeah.

Ah, look, I'm I'm really torn because I'd love to be Trent Bolt yeah and play the game that I love. But then then again, I'd love to travel the world playing mean golf courses like Ryan Fox and Steven Elka.

Yeah.

And also I'd love to have a whole crowd singing for me with Chris Wood in the EPL and but then epls that's very very England.

I'm gonna have to go the tremp Bolt. Yeah, okay, you're going to go to Trent Bolty. Interesting that Peter building and Blearchruck aren't even on the record. They're at the other end.

It's because they so much doesn't matter.

And there's no reports on none of their Yeah, you're right, it will be so much. Also, they'll have very crowdive accountants. Where do they live technically in New Zealand, I guess probably Bermuda. Yeah, so there's no reporting on how much money they've made.

Yeah, yeah, so we don't know.

They're pretty clever with that because it's privately owned. They Tween, they own that Black Foils team, those two. They founded a Live Ocean that charity of trust, so there's a bit.

Of stuff going on there.

I think tremp Bolt's a pretty good deal because if you're mainly just playing twenty cricket, yeah, you're only bowling four overs.

He is playing a T ten competition. I talked to him and I was like, T ten, so you bowl you bowl twelve deliveries and he goes yep, And I was like much you're getting paid?

That's what I said.

I said, have you worked out the purble? And before I even finished the sentence, he.

Goes, oh, yeah, that's quite good because he's bowled so many hundreds of thousands of deliveries and the nets and stuff, and suddenly he goes out bowl's twelve deliveries for for whatever money.

Yep, a lot of appreciated on those twelve deliveries. That means you've got a bowl. But he's playing a lot of golf.

He's not getting paid for, so he's probably playing as much golf as Ryan Fox. You're getting played for the cricket. But if you had one ball that you've been working on, some sort of wild variation that you've never unleashed, that's your opportunity to do it and be paid fifty grand for that. Yeah, for that was getting this. At one point he was getting paid eleven and a half thousand American per pitch.

Oh my god, have you seen I saw a video the other day where there were different people like Lebron James' in this and there was like shaking hands with Jay Z or something. They had over the top of their head superimposed a ticker of how much money they were earning passively as they were just walking around shaking hands.

It was outrageous.

They did some poor punted, dirty boy, but he's not making anything down.

Yeah, guy's mortgage payment for killing hi. Yeah, it's just lost as he has done as us punting on that game.

All right, let's take quick break.

We'll come back.

I've got a hypothetical question or on a run past you, I just before we knock this thing on the head today, fellas, I like to get dust off the old hypothetical. Maybe we used to do the old Sunday scenarios. Yeah, he's a here's a Sunday scenario for you. On a Wednesday. Five hundred million dollars will be paid to you if you can survive from the year eighteen hundred to the

So just five hundred million dollars in today's money, yeah, or when you land the equivalent of no, today's today's turn.

So turn in twenty four years, Yeah, turn twenty four years your own age. Yeah, so you've only your own Okay, you want to you want to avoid this and key areas. You want to avoid World war I mean, if you've got any not knowledge, are you blustered back there with the historical knowledge?

Yeah, it's you, it's us.

You know what's coming now, you know what's coming, So you want to be You don't want to stay away from sort of areas of mess satanic panics. You want to You've got a better coin now so you can build your own armies and you know where the oilers. No, but you don't get the five hundred mil you get to today, and no bank's going to lend you on that because they're not gonna believe you.

No, I'm so I'm landing. I'm landing in eighteen hundred with no money. Yeah, just knowledge with the deck in your hand. And also Thomas that we have no knowledge.

We think we'd go back there and we'd go, oh, we've got so much knowledge for the future. We'd go back there and go we've got iPhones. It's like, can you build one?

No electricity ad has worked?

Fuck, I don't know.

We could.

We could look into these screens and watch sport from around the world. Can we can we prepare for the teleportation. We would we'd be we'd be the shittest, but we think we'd go back there and have an advantage. We'd be the shittest person in eighteen hundred. I've just been watching to make myself feel better about my life. I sometimes watch these these YouTube channels on how people lived in the old days. Yeah, fucking rough. Oh yeah, fucking

I'm fucking bored of everything.

Yeah.

I saw the Beatles ten times a live.

Yeah, that'd be my problem is I would yeah, boredom.

I like the Highlander.

I'd do myself in before I got two hundred and twenty four years, and you know, i'd probably do about twenty years. I get to about eighteen twenty. Fuck really, I got another hundred years before even nineteen twenty and that's still shit if.

We're eighty years as a handsome cab cab driver in London being chased around by Jack the Ripper, like I'm fucking I'm out.

I do I you could rephrase it around to like if it was like ten million and you got taken back to has this happened in nineteen the Ripper at nineteen seventy eight, Like somewhere with this, I can start sports gambling.

Ah, yeah, that'd be quite good if you, like, say an an Almanac situation. Yeah, like I'm back to the future situation. But I mean that'll be years before you knew any sporting results. Yeah, right through the eighteen hours laugh.

Fuck, I know I can't.

It'd be nineteen fifty two at Eaton Park before I knew sporting.

For me to be like England winning winning the World Cup at ninety yeah yeah, yeah, yeah.

Win in World Cup one hundred and sixty six years. It's just gotta got to wait out cave. But I mean you could do things like it'd be a while. Would your buddy up to Napoleon? I don't know, like yeah, people that were going into power. I mean it depends how much of a peasant where you were whether you could even get close enough to buddy up to people.

I think you before that, actually you don't need because youre already gonna get five on a million dollars.

All you're doing is trying to survive.

But yeah, but you'll get more your media, make more money. All I'm saying is you're going to be burned at the stake I reckon within ten years, because you'll arrived, you'll say, with no knowledge, but enough to raise suspicions.

I've got your New York Next T shirt on there, like yeah, yeah, it was the buckles burning.

Like You'll be talking about something and they'll be like, yeah, which, yeah, you.

So I saw this thing about how quickly back in time we can't talk to anyone in English even Oh really, how far is it? I think I think you wouldn't be able to probably talk to Shakespeare. You'd struggle to talk to Shakespeare, liketeen hundreds, yeah, h so eighteen hundred you would talk fucking weird. I didn't. I mean English people struggled to understand us sometimes.

Now, Yeah, you could kill some good people though, you could get baby Hitler and strangle him.

Yeah, it'd be rough being here, I reckon in New Zealand. Yeah, because because you'd be going up against some pretty powerful warriors that would were to live that long and not fuck someone off. What you mean here in New Zealand? Yeah, yeah, yeah, because you because an issue, were from a pretty strong tribe. Yeah, you're just so yeah, well, but you tune up and then you go, hey, no, honestly, don't don't it. Don't sign it, don't sign it.

They're not going to fucking honor it. But you're still going to wait. So that's forty two years of you saying that.

So you're just walking around and ring around fucking people lost saying that, and you get killed on the crazy guy on the side of the street with the side yeah warning, Yeah it is near.

Look, my biggest issue is like the boredom of two hundred years of living would just do me? Yeah, I don't think I could.

I see some of my mates that are in their fifties now, they're fucking bored. I can't go to concerts or anything, you know, even sports, even sports not doing it for the manymore they'll laugh. Fuck, I don't know. That's see.

That's when they start tuning into polkinhorns though, isn't it. Yeah, And that's not doing it. Basically, you turn to other things.

You gotta get on the myth and yeah at a late stage myth.

All right.

So no, none of us think we could do it in that way. No, No, I probably wouldn't make it to eighteen oh five. I don't think that. I don't think the five hundred millions either, because now and you're like, yeah, that's what I mean, you'd have seen everything and the five hundred millions of what you do now, I get a nice house. It's like I've seen yeah, some ship. I've got psc TSD like like you would not fucking believe the ship off seemed to get here. I cannot

With a shotgun.

That deployed me to the fucking boar war.

I thought the crimean war.

I'vet him three crime in Oh my god, Janah bark.

Yeah, all the guys at the pub, just like what I've been to live for two hundred years.

Cool cops. People see you just sending them of a pub drinking beer and the guy looks like you've seen some ship.

Yeah.

Also, if you end up in like France, you just get guillotine for the just because you went through. You're in the wrong place at the wrong time. You're there for the buddy revolution. But where are you from. I'm from New Zealand. We're just gonna have glatine because I don't know, we can't, we can't figure you out then seeing posh, we're just gonna guillotine you.

Yeah, all right, so none of us freaking we can do it.

Lets know what you think on the old voicemail and we'll knock this thing on the head. We'll see you tomorrow for another episode of the Gender Podcast Live from Wellington.

Yeah, we live from the basin. Yeah, you're called them the game from down the Are you just doing a drive by day? We're not adding the grounds, you know that. Yeah, I know that. That's part of the reason we're not allowing there.

So another pointless drive by from the a SEC tomorrow at the basin turning of the podcast.

Why would you stick around to watch the cave.

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